Hey there everybody and welcome to the mark mo
show I'm your host mark Maloney and this is season
5 episode 8 bear down Hammond and I'd like to
introduce to you my co -host To my left your
right or possibly the left if you're standing
not facing us Or if you're behind us, it would
also be too ... Okay, that's way too much. I'm
losing all sense of direction. Is Aidan Maloney,
how are you? Hola, I'm doing pretty fantastic.
Getting off a little back injury, but you know
what? We play through the pain, right? You play
through the pain. You quote unquote, rub dirt
on it. Yes, exactly. That's what I've had to
do. Just a little back tweak. Yeah. Happened
on the job, but it's not one of those things
where it's like ... I'm going to the clinic or
filing incident reports. It's just like I twisted
my torso weird while carrying something heavy.
So, unfortunate. It's already feeling better
today though. So that's fine. I am excited for
today's show though. Oh, I am too. I think this
is going to be really neat. I think it is going
to give a lot of our listeners a little bit of
a peek into the sports show we used to do. years
ago trip down memory lane trip down memory lane
because we this is going to be sports heavy today,
so this should be kind of interesting. But before
we get to all that, Aidan has his own YouTube
gaming channel. It's called Aidan Spelled the
Right Way. He has new PC game content like GeoGuess
or PolyBridge, Observation Duty, a lot of horror
movie kind of games, and what can everybody expect
this week? I know there were some concerns over
whether I think the Thursday one was gonna go
through, but I saw it. And I was able to listen
to it so I think it's okay. Yeah, yeah, so I
have been playing a lot of I found this entire
game series Okay, I think it's six or seven different
games all on the same like urban Explorer Supernatural
kind of horror format so that one is the one
that I had go up Thursday, and yeah I was worried
about it because I sometimes I'll get like an
alert like oh you're Content was copyright claimed
because whoever made the game put copyrighted
music in it and it's one of those things where
it's like Oh, that's unfortunate right, but I'm
not currently monetized on YouTube. So it's not
a huge deal It just means people may get ads
that the revenue goes to sure whoever made the
song but this one gave me a thing where it's
like said something along the lines of Like content
not viewable in all countries and I was like,
whoa, what does that mean? And it turns out that
in the video game we played I think was called
Pripyat Block 1986 I believe is what it was called
so you're in you're in the apartment building
in Chernobyl like near enough to the reactors
that it's abandoned or so you think oh no right
and on the TVs there's like all these little
drops of lore and everything actual like live
-action style shows that show up on these old
CRT TV screens and apparently one of them was
showing some kind of disaster response or Some
kind of evacuation response thing regarding Chernobyl
that I guess cannot be viewed in all countries
Oh Wow, which I found very interesting that is
interesting. So yeah for the release episode.
I just had to cut it out No, no way. Yeah, probably
just shy of a minute of footage. That's it Yeah,
and then it was viewable in all countries. So
I kept the An unlisted video where the whole
thing plays out, so I'm curious to know like
Is that viewable in all countries clearly not
because that one still has the tag on it does
it because that's the one I didn't cut So very
interesting, but it did seem to go up in the
US of a yeah And of course the one that I cut
that whole segment from should be viewable everywhere
But it's been super fun that that whole urban
explorer type horror game thing is something
I'm super into right now Yeah, that's that's
great stuff, and you know people are interested
Definitely check that out on yield YouTube and
speaking of YouTube If you enjoy Aidan's gaming
content and the Mark Mo show you should check
out our new channel It's an A &M gaming channel,
and so we we kind of resurrected an old podcast
that Aidan had and then you know, we made a few
changes to it and figured we would just do kind
of a collaborative gaming channel out of it.
And so it's kind of our ad libs and improv that
we do on this show and the gaming that Aidan
does on his gaming channel and just kind of,
you know, the chocolate and the peanut butter,
two great tastes, yada, yada, yada. So we've
been doing that. We've been having a lot of fun
with it. We've been doing some GeoGuessr. We've
been... We did a couple of quizzes with that
as well. And recently a daddy dating simulator.
Yes, Dream Daddy. Dream Daddy. Dream Daddy. That's
the song. That's it. We actually wrote it. We
did. And perform it. It took us minutes. So,
right. Anyway, it's, I'm trying to think, are
we on our fifth? We will be on our fifth episode,
yeah. Okay, the next one will be the fifth. Plenty
of time for it to catch up, but we're curious
ourselves how long this is going to carry on.
Right, because it seems like there's so much
potential, so many different dads to date, and
we've really only been on one date so far. That's
it. One one guy who was a little a little rapey
it was all there was some concern there He was
he was aggressive quick. Yeah, he was aggressive
also I Spoilers for the next ten seconds tried
to give up the deed to his house over a neighborhood
poker game So he he might just be a little wacky
of the brain stem. I'm guessing that I am guessing
that Yeah, he he seems to live life on the edge.
Yeah, definitely like there is no tomorrow And
then the guy that we did kind of vibe with a
little bit was... O 'Brien. O 'Brien there from
the neighborhood. He's a subcontractor. He helped
build the cul -de -sac. He used all of it. All
of it. But he does not like ice row truckers.
He doesn't like any of that sort of stuff, because
it's just fake. Except for ghosts, which are
definitely real. Which are definitely real. According
to Brian. Right. They're definitely real. uh
we're gonna see we're gonna see what's up with
brian and perhaps uh maybe another mystery uh
sort of mystery uh dating dad yeah date there's
seven total seven total Seven total. I think
I think we've counted one out for sure. Yeah,
maybe two because this there's this dude It's
like a total workout. Oh Craig Craig till work
I did that's all he talks about I mean I would
hey, bro You want to go on a date with me to
buy more creatine? Okay, that that's him That's
a great guy would I would rather hit myself in
the head with a hammer I swear to God so I don't
I don't think anything's gonna have with Craig,
but the The teacher's a possibility, coffee guy's
a possibility. Yeah. We're gonna have to see.
The vampire dude piques the interest. Yeah, where's
he been? Still in Hot Topic. Yeah, right. No
dead Gotham beyond. Exactly. AKA Hot Topic. Yeah.
Yeah, for sure. Aw, man. Come on, dude. I really
like that Pierce Vail shirt. Yeah, because he's
Aussie. He is Aussie. That's right. He is Aussie.
Look at that Peace the Vail thing you got going
on, mate. Or what? I love it. So if you're amused,
maybe you're not. Maybe you're like, these guys
are off the rocker. Well, that may be partially
true. But we bring a lot of our voices and the
chaos of this show to that show. So hopefully
you will tune in and like and subscribe and all
that good stuff. So this week, we're going to
get into a little sports talk. And I think it's
worth it because in a lot of my socials the past
two or three days. It went from Trump stuff and
Epstein stuff and Olympic stuff and Ukraine stuff
and now I have to scroll way down to get to any
of that because everyone is talking about the
Chicago Bears. Yep. Especially in Chicagoland
and even across just a country. Yeah. Oh yeah,
they're the talk of the... The talk of the town.
Hey everybody, they're the talk of the town,
right here on... No, we don't do that anymore.
Yeah. Thank Christ. So anyway, the Chicago Bears,
their charter franchise of the NFL. They spent
50 years in Wrigley. more than 50 in the Chicago
Park District facility known as Soldier Field.
Over the past several years, the Bears began
looking at other options as the lease with Soldier
Field was expiring in 2031. The Bears brought
in a guy named Kevin Warren who previously worked
with the Minnesota Vikings and the Big Ten. to
facilitate the purchase of the land and development
of that land into a state -of -the -art facility.
So the Bears purchased a chunk of land in Arlington
Heights, the former home of Arlington International
Racecourse. For years it had been back and forth
between Arlington and Chicago and Springfield.
The Bears are a for -profit business and just
simply searching for the best deal. The Bears
were told things like, we don't have tax money
for you, that a new stadium simply wasn't on
their to -do list for 2026. This, for the Bears,
is simply unacceptable. They gotta get moving
on this. And Warren began to communicate with
the state of Indiana. So, Hammond, East Chicago,
Gary, Portage. I even heard Iowa chimed in. I
did that, I did hear that too. The Quad Cities
in Iowa were like, we'll take them. Yeah. You
would. Exactly. So, I don't know if that one
would work out really well. No. That one, I don't
think so. Thank you, no thank you, Iowa. Agreed,
agreed. So, an examination of local regional
sites, right, did begin. And the bears, hang
on one second, am I bad? So, on Lake Illinois.
Indianapolis was ready to work with the Bears,
as were the South Shore communities the stadium
would reside in. Illinois even to this day thinks
the Bears courting Indiana was just a ploy, that
they aren't that serious. Well, Illinois continued
to play hardball, canceling a budget meeting
and things like that. So that was the last straw,
and Warren and the Bears ownership stated that
they're in final process of selecting Hammond
for the new Dome Stadium. So fast forward to
just a few days ago, now there's all this faux
outrage from Bears fans in Illinois. They look
at the Bears as being greedy instead of a business
looking for a better deal. They act as if this
is some ultimate betrayal. It isn't. Bears fans
are dumb. We can say that as Bears fans. And
I'm a Bears fan, so I can say it. There are more
dumb Bears fans than not. It's just a way of
life. First off, Hammond is Chicagoland. Located
five minutes from Illinois -Indiana border. Fun
fact, pro football is not new to Hammond. The
Hammond Pros were also an NFL charter franchise.
True, very true. So, so there you go. And think
about, like, Chicagoland. And people are like,
oh no, it's Indiana, it's Indiana. No, it's Chicagoland.
Lake and Porter County are part of the Chicago
metropolitan area. Also known as Chicagoland.
They're the only parts of the state of Indiana
on Central Time Zone because we match that up
for Chicago. Right. Because we do business with
Chicago. So there is that. Also, all of the new
stations, all the TV stations are Chicago stations.
Right. We are an extension of Chicago. Colonel
McCormick of the famous McCormick Place. Colonel
McCormick coined the phrase Chicago land for
the collar counties in northwest indiana as far
back as the 1920s 1926 i believe century so all
these people are getting on there oh my god it
isn't well i've got about a century of of history
that says you're you're wrong right you're you're
incorrect you're just being an idiot yeah those
two counties in indiana and i believe there's
one county in wisconsin Correct. Along with all
of the, of course, Chicago and counties. Yeah,
I can't remember if it's Kenosha or Racing County,
but yeah. Are a part of Chicago land. Yes, correct.
100%. 100%. And so now secondly, do you know
many franchises play in different cities and
states than the one on their helmets? So, for
example, San Francisco 49ers play in Santa Clara.
The LA Rams and LA Chargers play in Inglewood.
The Washington Commanders play in Landover, Maryland.
The New York Giants and New York Jets play in
the state of New Jersey. Right. The Chiefs are
moving from Missouri to Kansas. The Oakland Raiders
weren't getting shit from California or the city
of Oakland, so they bounced. They're in Las Vegas.
Technically Paradise, which is right next to
Las Vegas, but Las Vegas ain't gonna go, ah,
they're in Paradise. They're the Paradise Raiders.
No, because they're not. Although the Santa Clara
49ers would be pretty cool. That's real. That
would be pretty cool. Yeah, without a doubt,
that would be pretty cool. Yeah, Las Vegas was
happy to roll out a state of the art stadium
minutes from the strip. Dallas Cowboys playing
Arlington, Texas. Miami Dolphins playing Miami
Gardens almost an hour outside the city. Right.
Finally, the Bills are going to play in a shiny
new stadium in Orchard Park. And also the Cleveland
Browns are moving outside Cleveland to Brook
Park near the airport. It's funny because I don't
see many issues with the fans, and it'd be like,
oh, here's our stadium, to which the fans go,
uh, all right. Right. Because they're going to
go. Yeah. They're going to go. Think about it.
There's well over a million Bears fans in the
Chicago area. Maybe two million. A lot of Bears
fans. Only 65, 70 ,000 can go to a game. Right.
Depending how big the stadium is. Right. Even
if it's 70 ,000, you've got Lake and Porter County
have 650 ,000 people in it. So if you include
those 650 ,000 plus all the people in the south
and southwest suburbs that have got to be like
so happy, right, that they don't have to trek
all the way across Chicago land in Arlington
Heights, which is a shitty drive. Right. My dad
and I used to do it often. He was a handicapper,
horse racing handicapper. Every once in a while
he'd be like, hey buddy, you want to take a drive
with me? And the answer was always yes. Yes,
I do. And we would take the drive up to the racetrack,
which was always brutal. Always a brutal drive
right always traffic always nonsense and it just
took forever It's a shitty drive right if you
live in the north and northwest suburbs. Yeah,
you're under a half hour You know you're like
yay our team's here for the rest of Chicago sucks
Yeah, oh, there's a metro is there is there though
right you got hoofed from that Metro? How many
Metro's you running right? I mean come on so
anyway so Okay, boy, I'm slow today. Finally,
business and residents leaving Illinois for the
more reasonably priced state of Indiana is not
a new thing. That has been happening for some
time. You know, almost 100 ,000 Illinois residents
have relocated to Indiana since the pandemic
in 2021. So 100 ,000 in five years. Yeah, yeah.
And that trend continues today. Since 2010, companies
like Caterpillar, Boeing, Citadel, Tyson Foods,
Motorola, and many more have left the land of
Lincoln for greener grass. Both residents and
businesses are simply getting better deals elsewhere.
And ultimately, that is all the Chicago Bears
are doing. So, why would we hold them to a different
standard than we would a lot of these other companies?
Right. You know, you sit there and be like, I
can't believe Caterpillar left. Well, put yourself
in Caterpillar's position, because it's just
not your billionaire owner, it's stockholders,
it's everything else. And if you're sitting there
in your Caterpillar and Iowa says, hey, we can
build this here, infrastructure's in place, we'll
put you right on the river, you're right near
a highway, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and
you're gonna pay half of what you pay in Illinois.
Does your common sense say, oh no, I'm loyal
to Illinois? Why? Why are you loyal to Illinois?
They've given you no reason to be. You're gonna
bounce. You are going to bounce. So angry fans,
you just need to stop. There are over a million
Bears fans. I think we said a million or two
million, however many Bears fans are in the area.
And most of us, because, as we said, limited
seats in the stadium. Or limited ticket money.
Or limited ticket money. Nobody's got 200 bucks
for a game. Right. Most of us sit on our collective
asses, cheering for them for the comfort of our
own home or the local bar. Basically, for all
of us, they could play in Cambodia or India or
Egypt or Italy, or they wouldn't make much of
a difference where the hell they're playing.
For those that go to the game, they live in Chicago,
the south -southwest suburbs. Hammond's convenient,
and so... That's it's just that's what it's gonna
be and you're just gonna have to get used to
it, right? Hey, well, you know our suburbanites
and it's Stomping your feet and pouting what
I'm gonna go cheer for the Packers go cheer for
the Packers You were a shitty fan to begin with
right? So it's come. It's completely fine So
I throw this out at you as an olive branch to
all of the Illinois in Sites in Illinois ins
Illinois ins sure that sounds good And let me
just say one more thing, because I've heard people
being interviewed about this thing. If you live
in the Chicago area and you pronounce the S on
Illinois. Illinois. Illinois. Go after yourself,
dude. I mean, I remember me and my sisters used
to do that as a bit. As a bit. Illinois or Des
Moines, Iowa. Right. And there are people that
actually say it to say it. Right. And then there's
also like the people that say Kaminsky. Oh my
god. Over there by Kaminsky Park. Yeah, right.
Shut up, damn it. Kaminsky. It's fine. We're
good. So hey, as an olive branch, a former Chicagoan,
long time, here in the state of Indiana, let
me just say, we will welcome you. We will welcome
you with our cheap liquor and our cheap cigarettes
and food. Maybe hit up one of our lovely several
casinos here and give some of that money back
to us. Right. Hell make a day of it. Yeah, there's
there's a lot of like Chicago being the best
food city in the country A lot of that spills
over into northwest indiana because hey knock
knock just in case you forgot We're a part of
chicagoland or chicagoland. We got good chow
too, man We've got italian beefs and and we got
little malnati's out here boys. We got little
malnati's We got giardano's we got rosati's we
got aurelio's we got all the same shit you guys
do We just we're just a different state. That's
yeah, that's it at the end of the day with cheaper
shit, so why wouldn't you be happy about it?
Right. The only thing cheaper in Illinois, I
believe, is beer. Maybe. Yeah. But yeah, liquor,
cigarettes, any of your vices are better here.
Are better. Yes, exactly. Come here, get your
drink on. Go crazy with it. Light up, smoke a
little bit. Well, be careful with that. Well,
you can't smoke that way. Yeah, maybe get toasty
on your side of the border. Right. And then when
you come on over, you get the cheap liquor. Because,
let's face it, look, if I'm a business man and
I say, wow, they're gonna put a stadium right
over on the other side of the Illinois State
border, I'm putting up head shops everywhere.
Oh yeah. I am putting pot stores all along that.
There's a reason. With big pot store, I can't
call beer gardens, I'll call it pot gardens.
Yeah. You know, just big gardens, hey, come smoke
up before the game. Yeah, exactly. You know,
why not? It's genius, because exit one in Michigan,
Mm -hmm. Oh my marker one. You've got what dude
30 businesses right on the border or if you're
in Michigan City And you're taking route 12,
which I think once you get to Michigan's like
Red Arrow Highway or whatever the hell becomes
But soon as you cross the border from Indiana
to Michigan pink pink pink pink pink pink I mean
all along. Yep. Yeah, so Just an idea. It's a
thought. It's a business opportunity. Indeed.
It is I I would I would agree but um yeah what
what are your thoughts like for me i'm okay because
it's like It's not like they woke up one morning,
and they're the Baltimore Colts, and everybody
goes, hey, where did our team go? Where'd the
Colts go? Where'd they go? And they're in their
Mayflower moving trucks, and they're on their
way to Indianapolis. Right. That's not what we're
doing. There is no betrayal. They're a sports
franchise, which is a for -profit business, looking
for a better deal. Right. I don't understand
what the problem is. Right. Yeah, and you can
comment about the... the hellscape that this
stage of capitalism is, and you can comment on
big business and big Corpo as much as you'd like.
And trust me, I do. We do on this show. Oh, sure.
From time to time. But you've got to realize
you're still in Chicagoland. Yes. You're still
in Chicagoland. Is it a longer trek for those
on the north side or the north suburbs? Yeah.
Sure. But we have the South Shore line. The state
of Indiana and local towns and counties just
put a shit ton of money into train infrastructure.
There are ways to get around. There are definitely
ways to get around, so it's not that big a deal.
It's not like they moved to Iowa. Yeah, that
is true. They're still here. You don't have to
drive three hours to see them. You have the same
drive, or maybe, as Aidan said, from the north,
maybe just a little bit longer. And you've got
interstate 80, 94, 90. You've got US highways
12 and 20 and 6 and 30. There are so many ways
and it's not going to be as bad as the traffic
if they put that shit in Arlington. Right, yeah.
It's just not. And there's been funny memes out
there, too. They're like, oh, people that go
to the game in Hammond and they show a movie,
a clip from the movie This is the End, where
they're running down the street like, oh! And
it's like, do you know where your Saucy baseball
team is? Yeah, right. In Bridgeport? I've been
threatened there before. My kids have been threatened
there before. My buddy Tom, who, this is a great
one. He's a bright Chicago fan. This is great.
He had a... Because they're playing Boston and
Boston's a team I happen to like so playing the
Red Sox. It's a great game Red Sox win, of course.
Big dub. We leave and this White Sox fan is giving
him shit for his jersey He had a Red Sox jersey
with number 27. Now unless you're a complete
idiot or just not a baseball fan 27 from the
Boston Red Sox was Carlton Fisk. Gee, where else
did Carlton Fisk play? The Chicago White Sox.
Right. For years. For a decade. However long
you played. And So he's just on my friend and
literally getting, like, violent with him. Oh,
27, yeah, who's that loser? And we're like Carlton
Fisk. No, he's 72 and the whites, I don't, oh
my god. Oh my god. Invert the, I'm not even having
this conversation. I'm like, oh my god. Smartest
White Sox fan. Oh, he's up there. He's something.
Yeah, but it's, so it's just amusing to me in
a city. albeit with better violent crime numbers,
still violent crime, to make a joke like that.
And it's like, I can probably walk around most
parts of Hammond and be completely fine. Right.
And as someone where it's my job to deliver products
to locations via Handcart and Pallet Jack, I've
been in Hammond and Whiting and East Chicago
as part of my job. I've never... I've been in
Gary as part of my job. And as dicey as some
of those locations are, it's, you're gonna be
fine. You're fine. You're gonna be fine. Yeah.
That's it. It's just a working class area. Right.
That's it. Middle class people just trying to
make a buck. You know, just trying to pay their
bills. Right. And then that brings up then the
question or discussion rather of how poverty
causes crime. Because people are trying to make
ends meet. You can't make ends meet with the
shitty jobs out there. Right. Maybe you knock
over a convenience store. Right. You know? That's
right. You gotta put food on the table. Sometimes
people at their lowest lows just do something
wrong. Yeah. And you know what? If you're a fan
going to a game, the chances of that happening
to you? Miniscule. Miniscule. Miniscule. The
numbers are essentially the same. Yep. And for
any Chicago haters out there, because I know
there's a lot of those in Indiana. Oh, sure.
Just look at the stats. Look at the stats. Chicago,
I believe, is not even the top 20 most violent
cities. That is correct. In the US. That is correct.
St. Louis, Baltimore. I believe, I don't know
if DC is up there. Detroit. Yeah. Yeah. Memphis.
Memphis is up there. Yeah. Yeah. There's Houston,
maybe. Yeah. Chicago and... Northwest Indiana,
not in the, not in the top 10, not in the top
15. Right. Guys, we gotta chill. We gotta chill.
Take your mind off the news for a while. You
can exit your house and walk around and you'll
be chill. Yeah. Oh, for sure. For sure. I just
did. Which I guess is kind of a privilege take
because there's a lot of women in this country
that don't feel that way. They don't feel safe.
Quite frankly, they don't feel safe anywhere.
That is true. That's definitely a male privilege
take on that. So take that as you will. I just
wanted to add that copy out. That is definitely
a privileged take I just had. Yeah, no, and I
think that's a good take. So feel free, comment
on our socials, and let us know what you think.
I've been keeping an eye on socials, so I know
what a lot of you think. So we know what the
loudest of them think the lot. That's fair. That's
fair. Yeah, there's no doubt they care and there's
there's a lot of rage bait too So you got to
kind of filter through right who's poking the
bear versus? Oh for sure, you know for sure and
then you know, then you get You get the I don't
even want to call them pundits whatever you want
to call them But the the Chicago sports people
and they get out there and then they just they
They throw the kerosene on the faux rage fire
is what they're doing with a lot of what they're
talking about. Sure. But the bottom line is,
it's like, they're their own business. They can
do whatever the hell they want. If you want to
come to the new stadium, great. If you don't,
F off. Drive up to Green Bay. Have fun with that.
Oh, that's further than Hammond. Interesting
how that works. Interesting. I'm going to cheer
for the Packers. Yeah, and you're going to have
a four hour drive, you dingus. Right. And guess
what? If you want to go watch your beloved Packers
now, guess where you got to go? Hammond. Right.
Dumbass. Yeah. Oh my god, I hate them. I hate
them. I really do. I really do. And we were just
having a handful of weeks back and talk about
toxic behavior within fandoms. Right. Interesting
how it comes back around. How this blends one
into the other, right? Crazy. All right. We need
to calm down a little bit. We have a lot more
for you here. And we're going to start it off
with Carpe Diem right after I take a nap. Thank
you. Goodbye. All right, we're back everybody
here for Carpe Diem, Mark Mo Show. I'm Mark Maloney.
That's Aidan Maloney. And you find folks send
us your DMs and we read them on the air. And
if they're in the form of a question, then we,
well, I mean, we could potentially. Could answer
it? We could answer it. It's possible. Sure.
But it's like... We might. We could decide not
to. Or we could decide to do it and not give
you a genuine answer. Sure, free will, right?
That's right. Yeah. First Amendment. Yeah. Yeah.
Although... Although? Imagine this. Let me set
the scene for you. Imagine all the people...
Oh, sorry. That's all I can do. It's medieval
times. A man walks up to the king and says, mighty
king, your hands look so empty. Why, yes, they
do, young servant. But wouldn't your hands look
better with this sack of gold in it? Why, yes,
they do look better like that. How can I help
you, young servant? Can I put my sack in your
hand, sir? The king loves sacks in his hands.
He really does. He really, really does. So just
translate that setting in your mind to what we
just said today. Right. If you had a question...
We are the proverbial king of the story. We are.
Where's the sack of gold? If it's in my hand,
you're getting a... I mean, you more than likely
will get that question answered. It means you
probably have a fantastic question for us. That's
what I'm thinking. Yeah. Interesting. Just a
thought. Thought experiment. Just a thought.
Yeah. If you are so inclined, I have a great
question for these guys. Oh, wait. Yeah. Here's...
Look at this look at this green piece of paper
that has a two and a zero on it. Whoa That's
that's probably gonna get that question answered
very true. Yeah, I mean just saying it's just
a thought just a thought we have PayPal PayPal
we have Every every other sort of God, I don't
even know what the one is called anymore. Ah
Venmo Cash app. Cash app. There's that goofy
fifth third bank one. I don't even know what
that is. Who's to say? GiveMeYourMoney .com.
I don't know. I don't know. GiveMeYourMoney .com
should be how people better access. It should
be a whole carpe diem for them. It really should
be. Under the name GiveMeYourMoney .com. GiveMeYourMoney
.com and have your questions answered. I like
it. A small price to pay. It's got potential.
It's got potential. All right. So I've... Here's
what we decide to do. We open this up to a lot
of bears folks who have shared their ideas on
this whole bears thing. Sure. And so this is
Chad Eric Petz. He's born in Hammond, Indiana.
Grew up in Shererville. I've been in Phoenix
since 1996. I can tell you when people ask me
where I'm from, I just say outside Chicago. Northwest
Indiana is basically East Chicago. We get all
Chicago news stations, everyone's favorite sports
teams are the Bears, Cubs, Bulls, White Sox,
and Blackhawks. Most people from Northwest Indiana
work in and around Chicago. Northwest Indiana
is an extension of Chicago. Correct. Yep, you
got that. You got that one right. This is...
Spleenie One. Spleenie One. Spleenie One. Great
name. There's way too much northwest Indiana
isn't isn't Chicagoland out there because people
are mad about the bears. My friends, I grew up
on the south side of Chicago. This is not me,
by the way. This is Spleenie One. This is Spleenie
One. We need to meet Spleenie One. My friends,
I grew up in the south side of Chicago knowing
how to pronounce Merriville. It's a silly pronunciation,
but I knew it as a child because... Because there
were commercials on local TV for places in it,
and it wouldn't have been a long drive to get
there. They're on CT because they're part of
our metro area. Correct. We did mention that.
Don't be weird about it. Complain about their
state, not about our neighbors. Yes. That's fair.
You can criticize Indiana. Absolutely. The state.
Right. Bernie Tafoya says, I don't have a dog
in the fight, but if the Chicago Bears move to
Northwest Indiana, they will physically be closer
to the city of Chicago than if the team moves
to Arlington Heights. Thank you. Correct. Yeah.
Let's see. How do you pronounce this? M -U -H
-K -Y -A. Mucca Mucca losing the Chicago Bears
feels like the beginning of the end of Chicago.
I hate this for us. What's next? Oh an interesting
take although I You know people who are worried
about like Chicago deteriorating and the population
numbers decreasing You've got to realize that
you take massive cities like LA and people are
Spread around just right a sprawl. Just a sprawl
and Chicagoland is becoming more of that where
in city proper the city limits The population
seems to be decreasing or stagnating. Yes, whereas
the surrounding areas the population seems to
be growing Yep, and that is due to cost of living
be being too high Wages stagnating people can't
afford to live where they work, right which is
the whole point of the Chicago metropolitan area,
known as Chicagoland. Yeah. Including three counties
that are not in the state of Illinois, which
is fine. That's fine. And the deterioration of
Chicago has to do with the first things I mentioned,
cost of living and wage is stagnating. That's
right. If people could afford it, they'd live
in Chicago. Sure. I'd live in Chicago if I could
afford it. Yes, I would. I'm actually applying
for this job. And it looks promising. I don't
want to put the carpet before the horse. It looks
promising. It's in a town called East Chicago.
And East Chicago, it's about a 40, 45 minute
drive from Valpo to get there, which isn't terrible.
It's fine. But going the other direction 40,
45 minutes, I could be in Chicago. Sure. So that
has crossed my mind. But the problem is then
it's like, OK, what's the difference? What's
the cost of living difference to do that? Now,
in the past, I'd never had to do that. It'd be
like, hey, I'm gonna live in Indiana, I'm gonna
live in Illinois, because the differences weren't
vast. They're minimal, so you could do either
way. But now I'd have to consider it. I'd have
to be like, hey, I'd love to be in Beverly, or
I would love to be in Mount Greenwood, or I would
love to be in Ukrainian Village, or Uptown, or
Rogers Park. Pick a neighborhood. Wrigleyville.
Wrigleyville. But at what cost? Right. You know,
unfortunately. I have natural natural underscore
foods underscore geezer Cool. I don't care if
the Bears play in Indiana worrying about where
70 ,000 people Have to drive on eight Sundays
a year in a metro area of 9 million people is
absurd. Yes I know all the stuff about the tourism
dollars. I live in the city of Chicago, but tourism
revenue 8 days a year out of 365 isn't worth
raising my already high taxes. Sure. And I'm
a Bears fan. 99 % of Bears fans watch the game
on TV. Thank you. If Indiana taxpayers want to
pony up, have at it. That's exactly what we were
saying. That's exactly what we were saying. The
99 .9 % of us fans watch the game at home or
at a bar or a restaurant. bears bear underscore
nation underscore fan this is rudderly ridiculous
what the hell is going on with the state of illinois
i've heard of cheapskate but i never heard of
cheap state i'm not going to be called an indiana
bears fan well that's lucky for you good thing
for you they're going to be the chicago bears
right exactly so you're good yeah you'll be you'll
you'll pull through big man you'll be okay you'll
pull through All right, Indiana 85. It would
have been cool for the Chicago Bears to move
to Gary, Indiana to help rebuild the city. I've
also noticed on social media some people think
all of Indiana is a Colts state, town, slash
city. It's not. Growing up in the Midwest, I
didn't know many people who rooted for the Colts
or the Pacers. It was Bulls, Bears, Blackhawks,
Cubs, or Sox. Yeah, that's exactly right. Yeah.
So we have one more. from stoner stanley 420
okay we we had to we had to give stoner his time
to shine yes uh momo and alan hello do you know
the directions because i need some okay i am
still in the dollar store oh shit yeah remember
he was arrested cop at the dollar store yeah
took his pot yeah and dropped him off at the
dollar store right they can't catch me because
i hide now behind the detergent and stuff Good,
but you know what behind the detergent's a good
spot to be they'll never get the the whiff of
pot They'll just smell like tied detergent or
whatever lavender. Yeah, yeah Sweet pretty white
clean linen scent exactly exactly When they close
I come out and eat Cheetos. Oh my god. It's so
baller Yeah, I don't understand where he needs
directions to Couldn't glean that And it also
baffles me, he checks into the show. Presumably
on a cellular phone. I would think so. And maybe
doesn't know how his GPS works? Maybe. Google
Maps, Apple Maps, it's kind of built into telephones,
man. I mean, not to come down on our boy Stan,
but... I bet he's just been circling that damn
store for days. I wonder if he needs directions
around the store. If he can't find the aisle
he's looking for. Maybe he just needs directions
out of the store. Oh yeah. He's stuck in the
detergent aisle. He's in the loop. He found the
Cheetos. Good for him. Right. Interesting. I
don't know what dollar store you're in, first
of all. This is true. So that's going to be a
problem. Wherever the natural light is coming
from is typically the storefront, as they like
to call it. Go to the light, Stan. Yeah, go towards
the light. Go towards the light. You'll be fine.
Yeah. Don't be scared. You'll pull through. I
think you'll pull through. I think you'll make
it, for sure. What do you got for yours? I got
DMs here. I got one from MrMan34. Would you rather
have $200 ,000 right now or restart your life
from five years ago? with the knowledge you have
right now. That's interesting. So what was the
first one again? 200 grand in your pocket. In
my pocket. Or would I go back five years knowing
what I know? Yep. That's tough. Oh boy. Oh boy.
Because if money's your concern, then you will
already know what's going to happen in the stock
market and crypto and who does what. So you could
make some moolah that way. Yeah, that's true.
But... Five years ago, though, was the pandemic.
So it would be taking us back to the pandemic.
A rough time. Which is a bad time. That's a good
question. Yeah, because you could just put if
you go back to 2021, you're going back to tough
times. Right. But I guess it gives you five more
years to like, I don't know, learn things, play
your cards differently if you if you wanted to.
Put your life savings into Nvidia and Apple and
Bitcoin and you probably set forever But I don't
I don't know man. I don't know if I really want
to replay the last five years I think I think
I'm good with with what I've done and in in life
Sure, you know less so regrets and more so sorrows
about things I could have done differently, but
you know what? Butterfly effect. If I do something
else different than what else changes around
me, I think I'll just take the 200k. I think
I would too, because... as many things as you
could change going back, where you could be like,
oh, I did that dumb thing, I won't do that this
time. Or I remember I said that to that person,
so I'm not gonna do that this time. Right. Or,
yeah, I made that bad investment, so let's not
do, I mean, there's things you can do and you
can change, but as you say, if you make all those
changes, then the spot at which we're at today
looks vastly different. Right. We don't think
so, but it would. Right. There's there's probably
a dozen people I hang out with now that I probably
wouldn't be hanging out with sure Yeah, and that's
I think that's a fair comment. Yes. I might not
even be in Indiana, right? Yeah in all honesty
in all honesty. I'm probably living somewhere
else, right? So lots of things could have changed.
Heck you we might not you might not be listening
to the Mark Mo show. Yeah, right Yeah, so I don't
know. I think I just take the 200k 200k today
Agreed. I'm in the same boat. Gotta check in
from ol' Crippy Gru, my man. Ben Affleck irks
me. Does he? Ticks me off. I'm not sure why.
I think it's just his face, his scowl. That's
fair. I don't like Ben Affleck. I don't like
Matt Damon. Matt Damon! Yeah, I do not like Matt
Damon. He did all those crypto commercials and
now I just think he's some fucking scum lord.
Fuck Mark Wahlberg, but that one doesn't really
confuse me why. I think he's just a piece of
shit. But yeah, Ben Affleck, I think, is the
first that comes to mind of just like, I haven't
heard a lot of negative things about Ben Affleck,
but his face is just like, I don't like it. Yeah.
His unhappy ass face makes me mad. You're a multi
-millionaire actor, bro. Why do you not look
happy? What's wrong with you? Yeah. I get that.
Yeah. And also Gwyneth Paltrow. What is, what
is goop? Why you, why? Oh no. Right? Yeah. Fuck
you Gwyneth Paltrow. Yeah, I don't, that's like,
that's a thing. That's a thing. Yeah, God, I
don't, I'm trying to think if there's anybody
there celebrity -wise that really bugs me. You
know, sometimes, sometimes Dwayne Johnson gets
me, irks me. Cause I'm like, everything, every
movie he's in, he plays the same dude. Buff guy.
Yeah. You know? That's true. At least John Cena's
got some comedy chops. Do, do, do, do. Dave Bautista's
a good actor. Yes, he is. Like, why is Dwayne
Johnson in everything? Dwayne Johnson just plays
the rock in movies. He's just the rock. Yeah.
Yeah, I agree with that. What's his range? What
his range was 20 years ago. Right. Pretty much
the same. Ah, man. Celebrity -wise, I can't think
of... I can't think of anybody, music -wise.
Maybe Ted Nugent. Oh, sure. That dude's just
a Chodester, anyway. Oh, yeah, for sure. Kid
Rock. Yeah. Like those two. Celebrity, well,
sports -wise, maybe like Patrick Mahomes. Yeah.
I'd put him on there. He's got a punchable face.
Oh, he does. He really does. He does. Eyehole,
Patrick Mahomes. Ow! Yeah. Patrick Mahomes for
sure LeBron for sure. Oh, yeah, so I'd put those
two mr. Flopsy Yeah, so I'd put I'd put those
two on there. Yeah, that's fair. I like the little
brawn pick Definitely a floppy flop last night
again Laying on the floor like you got shot by
a howitzer. I'm like, what is your deal, man?
When are the refs gonna take a stand and be like
you're embellishing? Right that the NBA has to
do something with that Yeah, like the refs should
be able to judge like if like a guy barely gets
brushed and he goes flying back Like he just
got hit with a Louisville frickin slugger. He's
just like nope Yeah, we've been making fun of
that type of acting in in soccer forever. Yeah,
or ever. Yep And now it's just becoming more
prevalent in the NBA and I'll be honest. I think
the NBA should have penalty box like hockey.
Yeah Well, now you gotta play four on five? Four
on five, three on five, deal with it. I like
that. I love that. That would be an amazing thing
to do. Embellishing should be a one -minute penalty.
Yeah. Oh, shit. Put them in there for two. Yeah.
You made yourself look like a goddamn moron.
Get off the court. Yep. Now your team has to
play two full minutes short. Right. What we learn.
Right. Exactly. And the only thing a team could
possibly do to stave off... disaster is literally
just hold the ball for 23 of the 24 seconds every
time right just to burn clock yeah that's all
they can do i'd start watching again oh yeah
because i mean there's shots that are foul shots
you know where it's like up he was going up for
a basket so you get two shots you get three shots
whatever but yeah there should be certain penalties
where it's like now you go in the box yeah you
know fighting instigating flopping all that yeah
put a box out there yeah Literally, I would I
would have the box at center court and above
it would be shame It's just gonna say shame.
Yeah box of shame Because it's sponsored by Kleenex
tissue. Yeah So they can cry in the box for two
minutes. The shame box of Whambulance. The shame
box. Oh my god, that'd be so great. Yeah, cuz
you'd essentially just be Like making technical
fouls worth something. You know, like oh you
get to shoot a basket now. It's like no no no
Old boy needs to go in the box. He needs to go
in the box. Yeah. Oh god, that'd be awesome.
The last DM I got here today from Evil Genie
checking in again. I offer you employment. $100
an hour and your job is to fight flocks of Canadian
geese by hand. No health insurance or OSHA will
help you though. Do you accept? I do. Yeah. $100
an hour, I'm doing it. Yeah. I'm doing it because
I'll tell you what. I'm going to tell you what
right now. Bring it, geese. Yeah. Bring it. Canadian
geese are assholes anyway. Now, I'm not allowed
to use a weapon, right? No, by hand. By hand.
I'll take them out. Yeah. I'll snap that neck.
Yeah, because if it's... I'll snap that neck,
I'll de -feather it, and then I'm going to sell
the goose. Get some, yeah, a little side hustle.
Why not? Yeah. Making the 100 bucks plus. Right,
and by hand. I could pick up the goose by its
neck and use it as a weapon. Use the goose as
a weapon. Like a flail or a mace of sorts against
the other geese. Yep. And how big is a flock,
typically, of geese? 20? Maximum. Max? 10, 20?
That's doable. For an eight hour shift, that's
doable. I'll do that before lunch. I would too.
Yeah. Because it doesn't say what I can or can't
wear. So I'm going to wear some steel toe boots.
Steel toe boots? Maybe some thick clothing? Yeah,
a couple layers. They bite me. So if he takes,
yeah, if he takes a couple pecks, he'll be like,
ha. Now you look stupid. Now you look stupid,
goose. I'd definitely take the job. Tell your
many -much geese in that I'm coming for them.
Right, right. I mean, $100 an hour, I'd probably
retire early, too. Why not? Yeah. Yeah. Get on
that goose retirement program. It's like, oh,
what do you do for work? I'm a goose fighter.
I'm a goose fighter. I go location to location.
Take out entire flocks with my bare hands. That's
right. Top paying jobs in the country. Man, you're
amazing, dude. Can I buy you PBR? And the answer
is yes, you can. Yes, you may. At any time. All
right. Well, that was spirited. The idea of goose
hunting. I'm in. I'm in. 100 bucks an hour? 100
bucks an hour is just like the cherry on top.
I will kill some freaking geese, man. I will,
I will be... I think they're an invasive species
anyway. They are. So it would be a public service.
It would be. I'm the Goosinator. Yeah, I'd toss
them back over the Canadian border. I'll be back.
Yeah. Okay. So that takes us to the Frozen Guy
review, which I do. because I eat a lot of frozen
meals because they're three bucks a piece or
four bucks a piece and this boy's hungry. A man's
got to eat. A man's got to eat. I'm not always
going to get like fresh food and make it because
then I'm making it for like four to six people
and I sit there and I'm like, what the hell am
I going to do with all this? Yeah. Because you
know I'm going to maybe eat one or two meals
out of it and then you're going to be like three
or four days later like, shoot, I got to throw
it away. Yeah. That always sucks. I hate that.
But with frozen meals, it's different. Chuck
them in my freezer. When I'm ready to eat them,
I eat them. Yep. This week was something special.
It was by a company called Perfect Pasta. I can
only find them in Meyer. Okay. It's where I shop
with my friend Papa. What's up, Papa? For anyone
outside the region, Meyer is just a semi -local.
Yeah, Michigan, Indiana, Ohio. Yeah, that's where
you're going to find your Meyer. It's like a
Safeway, but a lot cooler. I would agree. Yeah,
Meyer is a good store. So a little bit more expensive
than some like local grocery stores, but they've
got good stuff in there. So I pick up this perfect
pasta. I think they only had like two choices.
There wasn't a lot of them. I picked up a penne
and bechamel. Oh, a little bechamel in there.
Bechamel, so a little white creamy French. It's
not my Friday night, it's not my Saturday night.
Don't take things the wrong way. Escargot to
the poles. Escargot is my pole. So, Penne, hey
-o, wow. Wow. Did you hear what he said on the
microphone? Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Unreal.
Penne and bechamel, fantastic. Sounds fantastic.
Oh my god. Like, I had it. And it was just big
enough, but then part of me was like, oh, if
I just had a little bit of grilled chicken in
the fridge. Oh, sure. Or even some veggies, like
broccoli or something. Oh my god, it would have
been top notch. But it stood alone. It was like
if you had a meal in a fancy restaurant. and
you had a meat, and you had a vegetable, and
you had a pasta. Like this pasta, high -end restaurant
pasta stuff. It was great. And I was surprisingly
filled. I was full. I was satiated. It was amazing.
Decent price point? It was on sale when I got
it, so it was $3 .29. I think it's normally like
$4 or something. Okay, that's still not bad.
Which is still not bad, because it was so freaking
delicious. There was not I didn't have to add
any spices to it Although I could have if I wanted
to put a little ragnon basil in there I could
have done it or a little black pepper or something
like that. I easily could have done that But
it's it stood on its own like they was creamy.
It was delicious The pasta was perfect for the
time that was cooked price point was good elite
elite elite status nine point six damn That is
up there. Is that the highest score yet? I still
have to do the Excel sheet where I put everything
on there and just kind of see because at some
point I'm probably accidentally gonna do something
twice and I don't want to do that. Yeah. I don't
think I have yet but as pertains to this one
I know for sure I have not done perfect pasta.
If it is not the highest it's a second highest.
Yeah. It's up there for sure. Damn. It's excellent.
Good to know. Yes, it was very, very 9 .6. 9
.6. Like I said, I only found it in Meyer. Doesn't
mean that's the only place it is. It could be,
like, I don't shop much at Juul anymore. I know
we have a local Juul not too super far away.
But I know in the Chicago area, you guys have
them all over the place. Maybe Juul's got them.
Maybe Whole Foods. I don't know. Sure. Yeah.
It's possible. But it was excellent. That is
fantastic. That before our next break that brings
us to one more segment. That's the other foods
and Aidan scours the globe finds all these crazy
foods mostly disgusting sure and He he shares
that knowledge with all of us. I can't keep it
all inside. No, I wouldn't want you to yeah,
not these Alright, what do you got for us this
week the the one I found today is a geoduck,
or I guess as it's supposed to be pronounced,
gooey duck, but it's definitely spelled geoduck.
Okay. Gooey duck is a very large saltwater clam
native to the coastal waters of the eastern North
Pacific from Alaska to Baja, California. Oh,
righteous, dude. Oh, yeah, dude. Okay. It is
the world's largest burrowing clam known for
its a long siphon slash neck that can stretch
up to one meter in length. Oh boy. This is a
clam. One meter length neck on this clam. Whoa.
The name is derived from a Native American term
meaning dig deep, which makes sense if it's a
saltwater clam that digs. Oh, no doubt. gooey
ducks. I keep reading geoduck. I'm like, oh,
it's a geoduck. It's a geoduck. Gooey ducks are
supposedly a prized delicacy, especially in East
Asian cuisine, valued for their, quote, sweet
briny flavor and unique crisp texture. And if
you look up an image of this geoduck, you'll
see it looks foul. It looks phallic. Oh. No,
it just does not look very good. The taste, according
to some, is quote -unquote sweet, brightly, mildly
oceanic, with a quote, unique texture that's
crunchy and crisp like cartilage when it's raw,
but supposed to be tender when cooked, offering
a delicate, chewy bite that isn't overly fishy.
Its flavor is often described as clean and delicate
which You know what? I'm usually I'll try anything
once in in the food world. I don't know if I
would have to be in some kind of state Excuse
you to to put something like that in my mouth.
Did you mention the word phallic by chance? I
did mention the word phallic. It looks like a
big a big penis Yeah, it does out out of a clam.
It is the clam the penis is the penis is the
clam. Yeah There's people holding it like a dick.
Don't go to Google. Just don't do it. Oh my good
God. Yeah, it's probably something you don't
want to look up on the work computer. Yeah, right.
They're gonna be like, uh, yeah lest you have
to explain it to HR like no. No, it's a clam.
Trust me Aidan, uh, you're gonna have to go see
hr, please You're like dude. No, no, dude. No,
you cannot be looking at penises during your
workday It's a geoduck, dude. Yeah, look up gooey
duck. Look up gooey duck. Geoduck. Whatever.
It's a clam with a big dick I mean the claim
is the dick. I mean the clam What I meant to
say that clams a dick. How do you know? We'll
take a look at them What do you say? Am I wrong?
You gonna look at me and tell me I'm wrong? How
many women are like, oh, we're having clam tonight.
It's like, oh no. Oh boy. And then you feel like
less of a guy just standing next to a clam. How
embarrassing is that? Right, a one meter clam.
Right. It's like, oh no. This clam walks up,
he's just got this schlong, and you're just like,
oh my god. Half your height. I feel inferior
to a clam. And the clam's probably there like,
welcome to my world buddy. This is the way it
is. Tos Clams are all - Coyotes on this bitch
of an earth. Let me take something out for you.
Oh god, that's crazy. Old gooey duck. Just say
no. Yeah. Good lord. I'd love to have a sports
team named the Geoducks, which I think there
is a sports team called Geoducks. It sounds familiar.
Really? I think so. Live research. I love live
research. It's fantastic. Yep. Here we go. Speedy
the Geoduck is the official quote unquote unhinged
mascot of Evergreen State College in Olympia,
Washington. I love that. Yeah. We weren't far
from that. How did we not go to this bookstore
and get at least a t -shirt? I would have loved
that. That's awesome. Yeah, and he's a slightly
phallic -looking mascot guy. He is he speedy
the geoduck a gooey duck. I guess I'm not gonna
lie. I'm looking at a picture of the mascot There's
a woman holding an umbrella as taking a picture
with as many people do in the state of Washington
It rains a lot. He looks like a smiling dildo
and a green taco that that is what this looks
like I'm not sure what the taco shell is supposed
to be he leaves or something I think it's supposed
to be the clam, but that's a bad clam. It's a
bad clam It looks like a green taco and a smiley
dildo. That's exactly what it looks like. Unbelievable.
I knew it sounded familiar. I'm so glad you did
that. When Aidan gets these thoughts, just trust
them. You can look back in our catalog. And this
might be in our gaming site. It's on A &M. It's
on A &M. Shakespeare and a bear. And outer space.
With a well -known Shakespeare play, Meredith.
Oh, God. With the lightsabers and the bear. Oh,
my God. I just, I can't. And the fact that you
found it and were like, I can't believe this
is real. Like, it wasn't some fever dream I had.
No, this happened. No, and it's funny because
then I was like, oh, my God, I think this is
it. And I start playing the bit quietly. For
copyright. As Aidan continues to play the game.
And I'm watching it, and it's just Lois. and
Peter having a conversation in the kitchen. And
I'm sitting there and I'm looking at it, like
barely being able to hear, I'm like, what? It
was during an Observation Duty episode. Yes.
Yeah. I'm looking at it, I'm like, no, none of
this makes any, but then like when they do those
things and they do those cuts. It reminds me
of the time. It reminds me of the time. Oh, Peter.
Yeah. Yeah Yeah, and the quick cut the quick
cut they do the quick cut and there's a bear
in outer space Yeah, having a lightsaber battle.
It was crazy. Yeah, I guess I don't remember
Macbeth that well Good god, yeah, well My brain
isn't always right, but when it's wrong, it's
still right somehow. It's still right somehow
So it's about time for our main the main attraction
our main segment. You just made the list But
first we have to close our eyes and walk in a
circle. Okay, so so bye. Okay. I'll walk in a
square All right, we are back from our break
to our feature segment you just made the list
top 10 list 10 through 2 with the big number
one reveal and a bevy of well no that's not true
bevy it's it's just a rule really more of a guideline
yeah there are there that there are rules there's
no rules okay cool yeah so that's that zero rules
it's still sticking probably through the rest
of season five maybe i'm thinking so there so
you there was no bevy There's no bevy. That was
the wrong word. Bevy -less on a fine Saturday.
You hate to hear it. I know. I thought it was
fun, too. Oh, wow. Gosh, damn it. It's really
more of a lie than anything. We were fibbed to.
That's terrible. Take me to the Supreme Court.
Throw me in jail. They don't do that really anymore.
Especially if you're a billionaire. It's a freaking
wild west. Yep. But anyway. Anywho. Our top ten
list. It's a wide range of things. We pick so
many damn different things. And this week is
somewhat topical. It is the top ten things that
we can do with Soldier Field now that the Bears
will no longer Be there starting 2031 Because
let's let's be honest is you're gonna have tumbleweed
just blowing across Nothing going on a yield
space dish inside soldier feel right? So Aidan
yes ten through two. What do you got? What are
some of your ideas? I'll save my big number one
reveal ten through two best uses for Soldier
Field The first thing that came to mind, number
10, just make it a training center, right? Sure.
Multiple sports in there. You could kind of divide
it up even, make like half of a football field.
You could put a basketball court, a tennis court,
just make it a big training center. Sure. You
could host multiple teams. You could have Olympic
athletes train or whatever. I love it. Big old
training center. Number nine, the biggest public
housing ever. Oh. Yeah. Big old renovation, public
housing. I mean, granted, there are enough unoccupied
houses in the country to home every homeless
person. Yeah. And still have millions of houses
on the market. But yeah, sure. I mean, so the
field's going to be empty anyway. Public housing.
Number eight, just convert it into a permanent
massive concert venue. Could do that. Then you
don't have to cram 30 ,000 people. into the UC
to see Iron Maiden or something. Right. You've
got all the more seats you could have. That's
right. Bigger stage, bigger stage area. Number
seven, Dogtown but in real life. Now, for anyone
that doesn't know, Dogtown is a spot in Cyberpunk
2077's map where this old dilapidated football
stadium, I believe, was turned into a city. Oh,
so like walking through the stands like there's
like shops and little housing it kind of like
half the stadium is kind of dilapidated in a
way where People are just roaming around and
everything just let it go to ruin and people
will make it what they can It's fair. It could
become its own society. I really could the soldier
fieldians Be careful when you go visit the soldier
fieldians. It's like the Wild West. It would
be it would be Number six, make it a massive
Chicago sports museum. Could do that. Could be
kind of a fun idea. Number five, urban agriculture,
community gardens. You know, the city of Chicago
could start producing its own food, its own greenery.
Sure, that's a good idea. It's kind of a fun
spot for that. Make the roof all solar panels.
Oh, I like that. Yeah, kind of a smart move.
Number four, Just recycle. Reuse the materials.
Tear that shit down. Go build something else.
Go build something else. Go build something else.
We had a good run, boys, but it's over. Right,
exactly. Number three. Here's an idea. Bring
in the Bengals. Oh my goodness. Bring the Bengals
the fuck out of Cincinnati. Screw them. Bring
the Bengals to Chicago. We deserve two major...
football franchises. We did anyway. Yes. To be
fair. Yes. So if New York gets to, sorry New
Jersey, if New York gets to, Chicago gets to,
then we'll have the Bengals and the Bears. Bring
the damn Bengals into Soldier Field. Wow. They
hate Cincinnati anyway. Yeah. And then number
two, just make it a public park. City sports
clubs, public park, just open it up, open all
the doors, let people roam around, have a fun
time. I like it. I mean, it could be our... What
do they call this? Central Park. Yes. But it's
just an old football field. I think it works.
Well, people roam around, man. Yeah, why not?
Sit in the stands, smoke some dubs. Smoke some
dubs. Smoke some righteous. Righteous, dude.
Okay. My top ten. Number ten. Place to hold the
child abusers from the upstain files. Say we
just dump them in. It's a big bowl. Just throw
them in. The liquidation zone. Yeah. Yep, just
throw them in. If your name is on the list, if
you're in the files, you go to the soldier field,
and we line up the firing squad. And we line
them up. Just line them up. Yeah, we're done.
Just bury them out there in soldier field. Exactly.
Number nine, the George Lucas Museum. Oops. Too
late for that one. What were we thinking damn
it see Chicago losing an opportunity I find that
so hard to believe Wow they they could never
number eight a McDonald's Already got the parking
spaces for it. They got the parking. Yeah, you
could just make the world's biggest drive -thru
You think with how some of those like seven brew
and Dutch Bros coffee places like yeah There's
Starbucks where the drive -through lines up into
the streets and shit You could also probably
fill one of those in there You could make it
a Maccas and then like a seven brew And actually
like people could go in and they could sit in
the seats and they could have their meal while
watching a football game like Ronald McDonald
be the quarterback and then you have like Bunch
of grimaces is the offensive lineman the Hamburglar
would have to be a cornerback cornerback. He's
just yeah He's got to steal that ball away rubble
rubble boom Hamburglar with another pick Damn
it Hamburglar damn it Number seven the street
gang gladiator games now work with me here, so
now I already like that He's got all the street
gangs right and it's just like look you can't
you can't be you can't be screwing around in
the neighborhoods, stray bullets, some eight
-year -old kid gets killed. We can't be doing
that anymore. Yeah, enough of that. We're cutting
it out. But look, you know, this gang, that gang,
you know, Latin Kings, you know, Disciples, all
that, you know. Hey, you got beef, you're getting
position in the neighborhoods and vying for you.
I get all that. Yeah, who's got what corner.
But let's put those games, let's put that inside
Soldier Field. And you know what, you know what,
if you guys wanna pull them out, blocka blocka,
hey, you're not gonna hurt anybody else except
for each other. What happened in Soldier Field
stays in Soldier Field. It's like the Purge meets
Hunger Games specifically for Chicago Turf Wars.
I think that's fun. And we keep the danger off
the streets. It's contained in Soldier Field.
It's contained in Soldier Field. And you put
that shit on pay -per -view and people will buy
it. Right. Do you wanna fucking go? Mimi and
soldier field oh Boy, did you see that one -eyed
wheezy of the gangster disciples? He just took
one right to the noggin. I don't think he's gonna
make it no wide wheezy now I mean, you know they
like to scatter brain matter and there you go
Anyway, this is brought to you by bless his parents
for a good show this episode sponsored by Geico
I love that. I love that so much. You can see
the little gecko animation walk over the dead
bodies. Just like sidestepping him, and then
just going back to his goofy smile. That's cool.
Number six, a bunch of pickleball courts. Oh,
yes. We need more of those. Pickleball forever.
I wonder. Quick research. How many pickleball
courts could fit on a football field? Oh, OK.
I'm going to take a guess before you look at
it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to say 24. 24,
ah. Yeah, because we're just thinking the gridiron.
But there is more. There's sidelines, you know,
is where the players and staff sit. So if we're
just thinking gridiron, I could see that. I could
see, I'll take the under. Under the 24. If we're
just thinking gridiron. How many pickleball courts
could fit on a football field? See, this is what
us, using feet and miles, we measure things by
football fields divided by pickleball courts.
Oh, man, here we go. So, football field is 57
,600 square feet. Okay. Pickleball court is 22
by 40. And if you do the math, you could fit
approximately... 14 regulation -sized pickleball
courts on the standard American football field.
14? 14. Hmm. Okay. Yeah. That's fine. I like
my number better. Yeah. So if they're, however,
you'll like this because then this does fit the
over. It is closer to your number. If you were
to fit them in there perfectly with no gaps,
people would essentially be playing up against
each other. You could fit 30. Oh, OK. But if
you were to include the gaps and sidelines of
a traditional pickleball court, it would be 14.
OK. So 30 to 14, depending on how cozy you want
the players to get with each other. That's true.
That is true. Number five, a ski slope. A ski.
We get enough wintertime snow. There's a certain
degree on that upper level. That is true, oh
my god. Actually, there's old historic footage
of Soldier Field where the ski team was practicing
the jumps, the big ski jump, I think this is
called ski jump. So yeah, I think a ski slope
would be fun, just like take off on that upper
level and then just catch air. Right. And then
hopefully you don't die. Right. Do you imagine
Winter Olympics being brought to Chicago just
because we've got the Soldier Field ski slope?
Ski slope. That's what I'm saying, man. It's
big money. Number four, driving range. Oh, yeah.
Like make it Topgolf -esque. People are like
shooting off different levels. Yes, absolutely.
That'd be so fun. That would be. Number four.
No, I already said that. Number three, the Halis
Hand Me Downs thrift shop. So you can take all
their old shit, and as you walk around just to
the Hallis hand -me -down thrift shop. And just
remember, Sundays are Blue Tag Day. Exactly.
Sundays are Blue Tag Day. And number two, Medieval
Times. That would be so cool, like Ren Faire
slash Medieval Times posted in Soldier Field.
I would 100 % go to that. Yeah. That would be
awesome. That'd be so cool. Dudes just charging
each other, jousting. Right. Having sword fights
on the field of battle. This is like the massive
medieval armor. Oh yeah, the medieval armor,
those like big axes that weigh like 200 pounds,
flamethrowers, all of it. Of course, the medieval
flamethrower. The medieval flamethrower. Common
misconception, flamethrowers were actually used
by medieval knights. They were, they were. They
hooked it up to their rear. Hey, I'm just saying.
Alright, that was my number two. So, we're to
our number one. Yes. Numero uno, best thing.
to do with Soldier Field. Convert it into a racetrack.
You could do horse racing. You could do NASCAR
racing. I mean, they already do like the NASCAR
street races in Chicago. Sure. People seem to
love it. Yeah. But why are we like shutting down
roads and like crimping off traffic just for
your silly little turn left game? Yes. Just turn
Soldier Field into that so we can have our roads
back. That would be awesome. You know, I'm not
a NASCAR guy. I know people enjoy racing out
there. And you know what? More for you. You enjoy
it. But yeah, just turn Soldier Field into that.
All right. Now follow me here. Yeah. So we're
talking about racing, right? And I believe it's
Australia, maybe New Zealand. They race Ostrich.
Ostrich or Emus? I think they race ostrich. Okay.
You know, that sounds familiar, ostrich racing.
Yes. We may have covered it in the other, the
other sports. I think we may have. Years ago.
And I think, I think it would be, I think it
would be. Go ahead. I think it would be great.
Yeah. But the jockeys have to be, um, God, what
do we call them now? Little people? I don't even
know what the proper term is. No. Because in
professional wrestling, it's called midget wrestling.
It has been forever. It's still called that today.
Is the medical terminology dwarfism? Sure. I
think so. Yeah. But is that proper, or is that
like a medical term? It's a medical term, but
it's like, hey, dwarfism. I feel you, buddy.
I mean, you might not like it. Right, because
the medical term for cancer is cancer, but you
wouldn't walk up to someone with cancer and,
what's up? Hey, what's up, cancer boy? What up,
cancer? Yo, what up? Those cells killing you,
yeah, dog. Yeah, that's probably not good. That's
probably not good at all. Where are my cancer
fans at? Oh, God, that's terrible. Sorry. Oh,
that's terrible. Pancreatic. Oh, my God, just
terrible. Just terrible. You can't claim that
when you continued the bit. I know, I know. So
yeah, I don't know. I don't know what they're
called, but they're gonna be riding on the ostrich.
You couldn't have my big ass sit on an ostrich.
I would harm it. Yeah. You know, so this is for
animal safety. Yes. And also the safety of the
ostrich. Correct. That's fair. Yeah. I like it.
Rules already. You didn't catch the really offensive
thing I just implied, but... I just skipped right
over it. Oh, okay. I apologize. Immediately.
I just skipped right over that. I'm sorry. The
bit got too far. That's the idea when things
like that happen is just to skirt right past
it. Just like it never existed, even if it does.
Oh, yeah. I don't care. Number one. My number
one. a Spirit Halloween store. That would be
so cool. I would love to go there. Could you
imagine like a 1 million square foot Spirit Halloween
store? I'd spend all afternoon there. Oh, yeah.
You know, just like underneath when you first
walk into the stadium, just have a couple of
food vendors open. It's going to be fall. So,
you know, just have those brats cooking and all
that kind of good stuff. And then just Oktoberfest
brewski. A little Oktoberfest brewski. And they
go in there and just just Yards and yards and
yards and yards of Halloween stuff. A hundred
minimum. Yeah. That would be so cool. That would
be so cool. You know what's great? Like, it doesn't
hit you until like January 10th. Right. When
you really start to feel it and you're like,
man, I miss Spirit Halloween. I know. We need
a year -round soldier field -sized Spirit Halloween.
Yes, we do. Yep. Keep it in mind, Chicago. Just
throwing it out there. Yeah. It's big brain.
Let it resonate with the people. Yeah. You know.
Oh, yeah. You plant the seed. Maybe it grows.
Yeah, sometimes that happens. That's what I'm
saying. And sometimes it rains. There we go.
All right. Well, if you have a better idea. Please
as if a better idea than that could exist right
submit it to us We'd love to take a look at it
Mark Mo show Maloney media on insta And then
mark Maloney aid Maloney. Maybe they do both
Maybe they reno all the stands to make it like
this wraparound storefront of spirit Halloween
And then people can just peek down at live ostrich
racing on the racetrack I like it Huh? You can
do both. We've got the square footage, I think.
I think so. Yeah. I think so. I think we need
to make it happen. We're now going down the Reddit
rabbit hole. And Aidan finds all kinds of interesting
facts as he goes down that said hole. So Aidan,
what did you find in the hole? I found maybe
one of the cooler little graphs I've seen in
a while. Someone took a bunch of different criteria.
and plugged it into the zombie apocalypse survivability
map of the United States. Here's the criteria
is like food production capacity, water security,
climate survivability, and then threat exposure
like population density. If shit starts breaking
out, how close are you to that city center? Oh,
sure. And with all that criteria, we have survivability
scores. from zero to one, whether you do or don't
survive, where the worst places get 0 .0 to 0
.1. And the scales go up to about 0 .65. So should
a zombie apocalypse happen, there's really no
100 % safe spot, which makes sense. I mean, it's
killer zombies. But you see all of the areas.
In Chicago, we're cooked. Chicago, we're cooked.
Northwest Indiana, we're cooked. You know, we
don't, in the Chicagoland area, we don't necessarily
grow a lot of food, right? It's very urban, high
population density, so we'd be done. We are in
the 0 .01 % chance to live. Oh, God. Yeah, so
we might be cooked. Milwaukee's rough, Minneapolis
is rough, Kansas City is cooked. Denver and its
surrounding areas are rough because what are
you gonna grow in the mountains, right? Yeah.
There's nothing you can grow on the mountains.
No, no, there's not. And then so much like the
- Pine trees. Yeah, pine trees, right. Oh cool,
I get to eat my third pine cone for the evening.
Mmm, delicious. Mmm, quite. And then a lot of
the deserts in New Mexico, Arizona, California,
Nevada, that's all red. Yep. It's all red. You
can't grow things there. That's unfortunate.
Portland and Seattle, Sea -Tac area, is looking
rough just due to the population density. But
there's a lot of green. There's a lot of really
high survivability in Northern California and
Oregon and Washington due to the good rainfall.
Sure. You can plant things out there. Absolutely.
North Idaho. Billings, Montana doesn't look so
bad. Not so bad at all not so bad. You know it's
it's what what's billings a hundred thousand
people hmm? So it's not super dense like other
crazy major cities. Yeah, well you can grow things
in Montana, right? Yep, so I found this very
fascinating. It's it's gorgeous to look at I'll
send it to Mark Moe So maybe it makes a part
of the yeah the promo collage the collage yeah
Yeah, who Houston Fort Worth Dallas Austin San
Antonio. You're all cooked a lot of Florida's
cooked Uh, Panhandle's not so bad. Panhandle
looks good, survivable. Yeah. And then look at
the... Look at just the general south. Arkansas,
Mississippi, North Louisiana, away from, uh,
New Orleans. It's all fertile land. It's all
rural. So your survivability is massive out that
way. Oh yeah. And then you've got the whole...
Uh, just... Boston, New York, Philly, Baltimore,
Washington, D .C. Just cooked. You're done. You're
done. Granted, we're cooked in Chicago, but you
guys are double cooked. Looks like Maine is maybe
the best place. As a state, Maine has the highest
survivability. Maine does, yeah. Yeah. So I just
found that super cool. I'm like, that is a logical
probability map, and it's kind of cool to plot
it on the continental United States. I like it.
Yeah. It's pretty cool. I thought that was super
interesting. Yeah. Well, Aidan with his zombie
map. And that takes us to our final segment before
our final break, and that is while you were sleeping.
So while we were sleeping, Aiden, he goes on
an adventure. Could go many places. And he has.
I mean, living room, dining room, kitchen, backyard.
Which are two in the same? One in the same? One
in the same. Almost, but different. The backyard
is the living room, is the kitchen. Yep. I live
outside. That's fair. He does. My brain hurts.
So yeah, while you were sleeping, it can be YouTubers,
it could be a movie, it could be a book, it could
be music, it could be anything that we kind of,
you know, missed while we were sleeping. Yeah,
exactly. So what did we miss? Got a YouTube channel
I think more people should know about. It's called
Minute Physics. Hmm, okay. It's this animator
guy who's also like a science teacher, magnate,
if you will, taking super complex problems or
inquiries into easy to understand and easy to
follow little animation short videos. Most of
these videos are below 10 minutes, bite -sized
pieces of content, throw it on while you're having
lunch or whatever. And you know me, I love science
and I love these huge complex problems kind of
explained in a way where it's like, oh, I totally
get it. Like, it makes full sense. Oh yeah, for
sure. If you just flip some terms around and
it's, oh yeah, it's clear now. So some of the
recent videos on this minute physics are why
some rainbows turn white. Common moon mistakes
in, like, cartoons and things when you see this
huge crescent moon. Oh, right. No, that ain't
it. That's not how that works. They explore the
topic of why wind turbines have three blades.
Ooh. That was kind of a fun one to watch. The
physics of super cooling. White balance. If you're
familiar with recording video, white balance
is broken, they claim. And after watching the
video, I do agree. And then some of their most
popular videos of all time. Is it better to walk
or run in the rain? Which I believe the Mythbusters
covered once before. So this person covers it
as well. Immovable object versus unstoppable
force which one actually wins. Oh They cover
what happens if you pass a portal through itself
Oh God, if you remember the portal games from
the old 360 I do What if the earth were hollow?
And time travel in fiction or rundown like the
different time travel in like Groundhog's Day
back to the future Harry Potter things like that.
Yep So very, very cool bite -sized pieces of
content that I really, really enjoy. MinutePhysics.
While you were sleeping, don't sleep on them.
Don't sleep on MinutePhysics. We are in the homestretch,
ladies and gentlemen, and we've got a beer that
we're trying. Tis the season. And you'll find
that out in a minute what I mean by that. And
after that, we finish things out with... The
world of weird news coming up. All right, we
are back for the homestretch here on the Mark
Mo Show. Host Mark Maloney along with Aidan Maloney
and it is time for our beer review. And you know,
I do have to tell you that this one is definitely
for the holidays that are coming up. So why don't
you tell the fine folks? The high holidays. Yes,
the high holidays are upon us. So tell us exactly
what we're going to be drinking today. St. Fatty's
Irish Red Ale. Yummy. My man. By the way, it
is an excellent looking can. Very cool. Very
Irish, Celtic. May your glass always be full,
it says. That's nice. And it does instruct us.
It does say, handcrafted, unfiltered, pour slowly.
So we have poured it out of the can. We did.
Into our official Mark Mo show beer glasses,
beer steins, if you will, beer mugs. This comes
from, if you're wondering about St. Fatty's,
it's not a commentary on obesity. It comes from
Fathead's Brewery. Yes. So, St. Patty's, St.
Fatty's, haha, very cool, it's clever. Fathead's
Brewery is a regional brewery out of Middleburg
Heights, Ohio, right here in the Midwest U .S.
of A. Their guide, as they claim, Our St. Fatty's
Classic Irish Style Red Ale is a delightful addition
to our seasonal release series. It has a medium
body and strong malt backbone with flavors of
caramel toffee and a lightly toasted, roasted
malt. Put a little character in your glass sluncha.
Hey man, do you know? As a state in the United
States, this round down both ends, and it's high
in the middle. S -O -Hi -O. You're welcome. Wow.
The live input from Stoner Stanley. Thank you,
Stan. Stoner's got jokes for days. Now back to
you in the studio. Now back in you, Momo. Here
you go. So it is an Irish red ale. 4 .8 % ABV,
so it's approximately what you'd expect from
your lighter ales and lagers. Yes. 23 on the
international bidders unit. And we will give
you our tasting notes rated on a scale from zero
to five using the untapped app on our cell phones.
Not sponsored, but it's free, so we do recommend
it. Yeah. And we'll let you know how it is. And
a slantcha to everyone out there. Slantcha. Oh,
that's delightful. That is quite wonderful. Super
smooth. I do like a red ale. I really yes. Yeah
Killian's red is good, but that's that's of course
a Macro breweries. This is so smooth a little
They were right the roasty toasty notes at the
end for sure. Yep. Boy. That's fantastic There's
some note in there. It's almost like a like a
multi. Yeah multi I'm getting like some kind
of toasted rice note at the end Maybe a little
bit a little caramel in there Yeah, that I'm
getting. Yeah. That was good. Top of the mornin'
to ya! Enjoy a little St. Fatty's. St. Fatty's,
Fethead Brewery. You guys kind of knocked it
out the park with this one. Well done, guys.
Well done. That is very, very tasty. And it's
not... It is very, to me, specifically caramely
slash... butterscotch sweetness, because sometimes
when you get the multi -sweetness, it's molasses
-y. I am not getting molasses. It's definitely
caramely butterscotch -y type sweetness to it.
Not that it's sweet, but that is the sweetness
I am tasting. But yeah, that kind of toasted
rice, caramely butterscotch, red ale flavor,
that's the notes I'm getting. I quite like it.
Very, very smooth. That was good stuff. That's
really good. That, uh, that makes me happy. St.
Fatty's red ale. So make sure when you're having
your beer that you get some tatoes to go with
it. Get some tatoes. This has been a delight.
Oh, that makes me happy. Thank you, St. Fatty.
Thank you, St. Fatty. My fatty daddy. Had to
do it if you I had to do it you walk into a pub
on the 17th of March And you say where's my fatty
daddy's? I think they either kick you out or
they're like We need to get this man a fatty
daddy right now This guy's going through something.
That was what he's like. He knows what he's about
He knows what he's about get this man a fatty
daddy. Yeah, then no they probably more like
What game are you playing right now? Well? as
a matter of fact Playing the daddy dating sim
yes, dream daddy dream daddy, which is fatty
daddy's long -lost cousin indeed it is Indeed
it is I quite like this That makes me happy from
0 to 5 I'm I'm ranking this 3 .5. This this is
going in the I very much like category I went
for Four that's my four hits your elite here.
It does it does. I have not put many beers in
the fours. I'm usually I'm easy when it comes
to alcohol and beer. I really am. Most things
are going to be in that 3 -2 -5 to 3 -7 -5 range.
As a matter of fact, on this app, it shows you
kind of where your rankings are. And so many
of my rankings are kind of in that ballpark.
But there's a few in the fours, and there's a
few below, but not too many. This one is in the
fours, so it's kind of rare air for me. I think
I only have three or four beers up there. And
I do look at... Don't take this... the wrong
way. The 3 .5 for me is a good score. It's a
good score. I tend to be critical. Coming from
the stout guy. Yeah, stouts and IPAs and boarders
and Belgians are more my style, but a red ale
I do enjoy. I do too. And this is this is one
I enjoy too. And one of the other cool things
on the Untapped app is it shows you the conglomerate
score of everyone who has checked in. So this
St. Fatty's Irish red style ale has 7 .4 thousand
check -ins, and the average score from everyone
who has tried it is a 3 .65. Wow. So you average
our scores, 4 and a 3 .5 is 3 .75. We're right
there. We're right on. We're right there. We're
right on the score. We agree with the populace
on the fantastic enjoyment this beer is giving
us. We do. Oh yeah, for sure. Yeah, that was
excellent. And I like the color, too. The color
is really good. Oh yeah. Because we're drinking
out these beautiful glass beer mugs that I got
for free. Yet very red. Brownish red. Brownish
red. Slight golden hue, but it is definitely
red. Fantastic. Good stuff. Damn right. Way to
go fatties. Fatty daddies. Fatty daddies. Oh
yeah, that was good stuff. Happy happy. Absolutely.
That woke me up. Yeah, we're we're running into
a little trouble off camera. Yeah, I'm not gonna
lie. I was having a little snooze You think you
joked about having a nap after segment one and
then here you were We did get more close and
caffeine though. We did we did and we do and
Yeah, you know I might be middle -aged But part
of me still thinks I can go and I can Don't get
me wrong. I'm a gamer. Go the distance. I can
go the distance. I can close the bar. I can still
do that sort of stuff. I can get digits. I like
all that stuff. Like I can do all that. And I
do. But if I don't get enough sleep, then you
get what we have here today, which is failure
to communicate. No, it really is. So yeah, so
I slept from three to six. Was up early cuz I
was gonna do some stuff and I thought no I'm
not gonna do some stuff and I just kind of laid
around But then you're kind of up kind of that
half awake half asleep And you're really not
sleeping and then kind of eight eight thirty
I kind of get up and then I was meeting a friend
We were doing some stuff in the morning But yeah,
so like really only three hours and it's not
that I drank a lot I didn't I think I had two
beers or three no I three So it's not like I
was like pounding the beers or anything like
that, and it's more of a hangover sure You guys
will know when I have a hangover, if you've listened
to me in the past. It's some of our best radio,
to be completely honest. Because I'm just so
broken down. Unfiltered, raw, and it's just like,
fuck! We gotta make this a good show. But then,
like, it just naturally happens. Like, when you're
the most compromised or vulnerable is perchance,
per se, when the best content occurs. It does.
You're just, you're looser. You're kind of that
DGAF kind of attitude. Almost like semi -lucid.
So you're just like stream of consciousness.
Right. Consciousness type speech. Yes. And I
feel like it's just you don't overthink jack
shit because you don't care. Right. You're almost
in that flow state. And then you finish the show
and you kind of just laugh and go, wow, that
was actually really good. That was like the back
when we were on air and we had the two hour spot
for the Mark Mo show. Yep. And then it was it
feels like 20 minutes have passed, but no, you're
up on the clock. You're at two hours and one
minute. It's like, fuck, we gotta wrap. We gotta
wrap. We gotta wrap. It's like, well, I thought
we just started. Yeah, because you're just going
and you're like... Flow state. Wow, man, that
was so great. And then we get a beer and we get
some food, and then I go to bed. That's pretty
much how it worked. Yeah, that afternoon nap
is how you can go the distance. It's key. It's
key, and I kind of... I'm boomer schedule, so
I'm out of the bar scene, essentially. You kind
of are. You really are, unless we, on occasion,
go out on a Saturday or something, because then
he can recover on Sunday. At any rate, uh, yeah,
like, the funny thing is, like, when I started
nodding here just a little bit ago, as we're
producing this episode, it was more or less like
my nap time. And I didn't even think about it
until I looked at the clock. I'm like, yep, right
about now is when I crash out for, like, an hour.
Yeah, because we got a late start today. Yep.
Yep, definitely. So, uh, ha, that was funny.
That's good times. Interesting. Like, your body
knows. Totally your body knows and then your
brain is just like but we're doing this thing
like come on, man Well, well body let me tell
you something when we start working again here
real soon Yeah, we're gonna have to make some
adjustments fix the old schedule Yeah, the the
old naps gonna come at about 530 at night, right?
You know, that's that's just the way it's gonna
work. But at any rate We're gonna finish up here
with the world of weird news. I'm sorry the what?
I'm sorry, that was wrong. I didn't even know
what the segment you were talking about was for
a second there. It was incorrect. Are you okay?
You feeling alright? You hanging in there? Should
we just take two? Should we just cut this episode
out and start anew? Yeah, let's not do that in
a couple minutes. Yeah, let's not do that either.
That's that's like Yeah, are you okay? That is
not the right question to ask me hanging in there.
Yeah, I've never heard that tone before back
in 1993 Yeah, let's see back in my day back in
my day back in 1987 Let's not go there. Yeah.
Yeah, let's not ask if I'm okay because we're
most of us aren't these days shows show fair
But now we're under the world of weird news.
There we go. Now I know what we're doing. Now
everything feels better. It feels clearer. It
just feels clean. So mine comes from the southern
state, North Carolina. Maybe we're bright. That's
southern? It has north in the name. Yeah, but
it's like north. It's south of DC. It's north
-south. So it's like... We're south, but we're
north. Yeah. They don't know what the fuck they're
doing. Anyway, city officials in Gastonia, North
Carolina, got involved after a video surfaced
of someone getting a tattoo in a Wendy's dining
room in the city. WBTV reported. Sir, this is
a Wendy's. The video was recorded on February
5th from outside the restaurant and shows a man
with... With his shirt off and another person
sitting behind him wearing blue gloves and holding
a tattoo gun a city official said what's the
issue? That's what I'm thinking a city official
said an environmental health team member talked
to the store manager on February 6th and reminded
them that the restaurant cannot tattoo without
a permit. Oh, the red tape comes back to bite
you. It comes back to bite you. For its part,
the franchisee said they took immediate disciplinary
action to address this situation. So just to
review this, just to review. Everyone boo Wendy's.
Don't get, oh, and I'll be honest with you folks.
When it comes to social media, whether they're
tweeting things out or it's on Insta or Facebook
or whatever, no one beats Wendy's. Oh, yeah.
Absolutely no one. Their social media team top
fricking notch in terms of timeliness of responses,
in terms of the message. They are killer. Yeah,
whoever's behind the Wendy's Twitter account.
Give that person a raise. I'm actually going
to get onto their page later on, and I'm going
to see if they've responded to this situation.
It's a recent story. It is a recent story from
February 5th and 6th. It kind of sounds right
up their alley. It really does. You should just
hit them up and be like, hey, I heard you guys
were giving out tattoos in Gastonia and sea.
Are you going to do that? Valparaiso, Indiana
or anything. Yeah, right exactly cuz like the
crazy thing though that crossed my mind as you
were talking about like the health official if
you're giving a tattoo in a Wendy's Wendy's is
held to health department standards Yes, which
then makes that process cleaner than if you're
doing like a back alley tattoo I would agree
or in someone's basement. Yeah, I don't see what
the problem is I don't either a Wendy's is held
to government standards on health and health
and food safety exactly if i'm in someone's basement
that's dirtier than a wendy's right i mean i'm
going in i'm being like yep i want the baconator
i would like a fry maybe give me some of those
chicken nuggets little nugs and uh the hand -sized
demon angel yeah right exactly I'm down. Your
food will be ready in 10, and the tattoo will
be finished in 30 minutes. In 30 minutes. Why
thank you. Why thank you. Enjoy your day. Yeah.
Can you imagine if they did drive -through tattoos?
Just like stick your arm out the window be like
how about that one there? It's like five cars
a light guy in the back's like Jesus Christ come
on! Are you getting a back tattoo? Yeah right.
It's like he's just there to eat food. It's like
you don't understand sir. You don't understand.
The food line is the next one. It's the next
one. Ah shit. Shucks. Oh man. What do you got
for your story? I have a Facebook post. Ooh.
This is from the Richmond, Indiana Police Department.
Oh, okay. So this is, well, semi -local. These
are local boys, kinda sorta. It's in the state.
It's in the state. You know, the Indiana Bears
are coming here. That's right, baby. The Richmond,
Indiana Police Department. Quote, you never know
what the shift is gonna bring. Oh, no. Officers...
UFAS? I'm sorry, it's U -P -H -A -U -S. Oh. Officers
Euphius and T. Smith were dispatched to assist
Animal Control Officer Durbin with a, let's just
say, non -traditional suspect. A loose pot -bellied
pig on the run. Oh my guy. Naturally, they tried
diplomacy first. A granola bar was offered in
good faith. The pig declined. Now they're not
talking about a fellow officer. They're talking
about the pot -bellied pig. Oh, wow. Look at
that. My nose is bleeding. Officer Santiago arrived
to help corral our four -legged fugitive, but
this little guy wasn't going down without a fight.
Smarter than he looked, and quicker than expected.
And then, Officer Tyree pulled up. No negotiations,
no snacks, just straight up hog -rasslin'. And
just like that, the chase was over. Pig secured,
safely loaded, on the way, presumably to the
vets, to get checked out. Moral of the story,
quote, not all heroes wear capes. Some just know
how to handle a pig. And they close out with
hashtag Richmond PD. Oh, no. Oh, no. I just love
the quote. officer Tyree pulled up. No negotiations,
no snacks, just straight up hog -rasslin'. Dog
-rasslin'. I think it's rather amusing. You should
have almost gone first because I like the connection
to your pot -belly pig story and me talking about
eating a bacon. That's true. Oh, that's good
time. It is a great time. I like it. That's good
pot -bellied pig. I respect you. I do. And then
officer Tyree pulled up. Right. You should have
seen him out there rasslin' the hog. Rasslin'
the hog. He done told me right away that he got
himself a couple of ribbons at the 4 -H before.
I love that they tried to give old boy a granola
bar, and then Santiago shows up, and he's like,
I don't know what to do. And then... Santiago.
Isn't that in a Practical Jokers one bit? Santiago.
And then looking Tyree's just like, watch out
boys, I got this one. I got this one. I wrestle
a pig or two or three in my day. Hall -grasslin'.
Hall -grasslin'. Somebody ring the bell. I'm
gonna corral this little dude. The four -legged
fugitive. The four -legged fugitive. Next on
TMZ. The news is a little slow in Hollywood today,
so let's talk about the fugitive pig. Oh, that
is hilarious. Yeah, that was just the Richmond
Police Department Facebook post. There's a full
news article. You can look it up, you just have
to, it's like Richmond, Indiana pig wrestling
story. Oh my god. Or like pig rasslin' news.
Pig rasslin', yeah, oh yeah. And it will only
be the first story that shows up. That's so good.
But I found the original. Police Department post
and I was like I just have to read this one This
is gold That's so good. So you can't find the
story. I just thought the The original the OP
was better. That's great. That's amazing. Well
that concludes our show this week. I'm mark Maloney.
That's a Maloney this has been the mark mo show
season 5 episode 8 and Also, I mean besides like
subscribe share all that kind of good stuff for
the mark mo show Make sure you check out Aidan's
page over at Aidan Spelled the Right Way. It's
a gaming channel. Aidan plays a lot of really
cool freaking games, so make sure that you check
that out because his commentary as he plays is
freaking hysterical. So you should listen to
that. And then we do a collab also, and that's
called A &M Gaming. You can find that on YouTube
as well. So make sure you hit that up and check
it out. We are doing Dream Daddy currently. it's
gonna be our fifth one coming up. And I'm not
sure how many more we've got. Maybe we'll take
a break here after this one and do a couple things
then come back to it. Unless we finish it up,
we might finish it up. We are treading in waters
we are not familiar with. Could always do alternating
series. We could. Week by week. Yeah, we definitely
could. So it's been a lot of fun. So I hope you
guys are tuning in. I hope you guys are having
fun. And I think that is a... about it. Like,
subscribe, share. I think I said that. Other
than that... Go out and rassle some pigs. Hog
-rasslin'. Hog -rasslin'. So make sure you go
out and you do that, get a back tat, and a baconator.
Yeah, back tat, baconator, try some St. Fatty's
if you're in the region. I think that's important.
If you're in the Midwest, you should be able
to find it. Yeah, I think that's great. I think
if you're a Bears fan, just shut the fuck up.
And just... It's like, brother, it's not that
fucking serious. Yeah, oh yeah. There's a 99
.9... 9 % chance the only time you see the Bears
play is on your television. It's on your television.
Shut up. I think I'm playing the frickin moon,
man. It just it doesn't matter. Why are you loyal
to Soldier Field? You shouldn't be. It's a Park
District facility. Right. Come on, guys. Let's
let's let's just get let's get real. Right. And
also, if you're in Chicago, you know whose tax
money isn't buying the new stadium? Yours! In
Hammond, Indiana? Yours! You're not buying it!
Why are you worried? You were just complaining
about, well, our tax dollars, they're not going
to... Well, good, now they're not! Just shut
up and go to the game! Or don't. Watch it at
home. Like you, 99 .9 % chance are already doing.
We're the pride and joy of Indiana! The Hammond
Bears! Well, I don't know. I don't know. It's
fine, whatever. Pride and joy of Illinois. Until
Illinois was like, yeah, I don't know, like checking
their watch. Yeah, I mean, I got to feed the
hog. Yeah, wash the car, do the laundry. Where
the bears unit that they just hung up on me.
They just oh no. Oh, no Okay, okay. Hey, this
is Indiana you want to come over. Oh cool. He's
just walk our way over there Okay, oh my god.
It's crazy. Thanks, Craig. Ah Anyway, that's
that's it for this week. Yeah, I got I got nothing
else. Did I mention I was gonna take a nap? Yeah,
I feel like that time has passed. I think it
is. I think we're just at that point where you're
past the nap stage and you're just like raw dog
in life. Raw dog in life. Yeah. You just like,
you're like, things don't make sense anymore.
You're just always in it. You've seen three of
everything. Exactly. Except for the money in
your bank, then you're only seeing zero. And
then it's like, oh no. And it's not like the
cool zeros, where there's a tangible digit in
front of it. In front of it. It's just literally
zero. It's literally zero, and it's like, well
shucks. It's just zero. It's like, wow, it's
zero and I have to go grocery shopping. Great.
How much is ramen? Yeah, right. 35 cents! God
damn it, they raced us again! Ha! Splurge! Give
me four. Yeah. It shall feed me for the next
five years. That's right. We're going to make
it last. I'm going to suck on one ramen noodle
all day. Quaint. God. America, land of opportunity.
Yeah, right. It's good stuff. The opportunity
for billionaires to be pedophiles, I guess, and
get away with it. Thank you, America! Okay, bye.
Bye!