Hey everybody, how's it going? This is Mark Maloney,
and I'm the host of a little podcast we call
the Mark Mo Show. This is season four, episode
seven. Thanks for nothing. And alongside me here
is my trusty co -host and producer, Aidan Maloney.
Aidan, how are you? Pretty fantastic. It's kind
of been a bit of a slog, I would say, the last
couple of weeks. Not only getting over that cold
that brutalized the end of October for me, but
yeah, last couple of weeks have been quite difficult
at work. Probably put in 84 some odd hours over
the pay period, which... I mean, that's not a
hell of a lot, but anyone that works at the steel
mills is like, oh, that's child's play. Well,
first of all, fuck you, you're crazy. Right.
Secondly, it's it's laborious work, man. That
that takes a toll. It does take a lower back
is it's on fire these days. Yeah. Yeah. Be careful.
Yeah. So been stretching out a little more. It's
kind of like the the closest I'll get to meditation
is just taking like five minutes out of my day
to do some stretches. But I find it helpful.
Yeah. Yeah. Keep everything loose and limber.
Well, it's okay. Yeah. Yeah, I I do I do this
form of meditation called sleep and That's a
good one. It's a good one. Yeah, and what I what
I do Is I get real comfy on on my couch and okay?
I fall asleep. Oh Yeah, that's really the trick
to it. I mean the best part is it's free. It's
free It's you free free to fall asleep And I'll
tell you, it works wonders. Checks out. It really
does. Yeah. I'll have to try that one day. Yeah,
that's the best form of meditation is a snooze
and sleep. Yeah. Yeah, I like that. And no doubt.
But well, we're glad you're here. We're glad
your back is not on fire and that it is the weekend,
which means. More meditation for me. Yeah, and
And a little bit of fun and Doing an old podcast.
Yes, absolutely. So I love that. It's like three
in the wind column It really is three in the
wind column. Well, we'll take it after a long
ass week, but What a lot of people don't know
is that Aiden has a YouTube gaming channel called
Aiden's Spell the Right Way, and damn it, you
better spell it the right way. He's got new PC
gaming content, GeoGuessr, PolyBridge, Observation
Duty, and much more every week. So what can people
expect this week? This week, I'm back into it.
I'm catching up on all the horror games I lost
out on playing during Spooky Season because of
the aforementioned illness. So those are going
along pretty nicely. I've got one coming up.
But today, Saturday, as we release this episode
called The Street Tin, it had its charm. I'll
say that. It got mixed reviews on Steam, and
I thought it might be interesting to give it
a shot. Give it a whirl. Yeah, just let me form
my own opinion on it. As complimentary as I'll
be, it had charm. It had a plucky spirit. I love
that. I love it. But, yeah, it's been really
nice. And what is that one called? The Street
Ten. The Street Ten. Wow. That's pretty good.
I was part of a gang called the Street Ten. The
Street Ten. Yep. It's on the south side of Chicago.
We had a solid three week run. Yeah. We got disbanded
because we ended up being like the Street One.
We just got bored and we started fighting each
other. As things go. Yeah, exactly. As things
go. What are you going to do? But definitely
check out the Aiden and the Street Ten and all
these other games that are on his YouTube gaming
channel. Also, if you like that or like this
or any of our content, like, subscribe, share,
all that kind of good stuff. And by the way,
if you like alt rock, Irish punk music, like
The Tossers, Flogging Molly, Dropkick, all that
kind of stuff. Tune into my radio show after
hours Tuesday nights at 9 p .m. Central Standard
Time or Friday at 8 p .m. Central Standard Time.
You listen to the stream at WVLP .org or listen
to it on the TuneIn app on your handheld device.
Also here you can yell at Alexa and she'll play
it. I highly recommend not yelling at Alexa.
AI is a little weird these days and quite frankly
you'll probably get a knock on the door if you
yell at her and it will be her. Yeah. The humanized,
humanoid version of it. Version of it. Yeah.
Yeah, if you've seen Matrix, it's like the dudes
with the suits. Yeah, you don't want that. You
don't want any of that. You don't want those
problems. So, maybe kindly suggest. Right. That
she, pretty please, play this show. And she probably
won't. But anyway, it's worth a shot. Worth a
shot. But hey, for many of us here in the United
States, Thanksgiving is rapidly approaching.
When we were kids, we were all taught, you know
dated back to 1621, although technically it didn't
have the name. It wasn't an official holiday
back then, but that was like the earliest version
of what it was. So early European settlers sat
down Native Americans. They broke bread, right?
They're eating Twinkies, whatever. So Neil actually...
This Thanksgiving story sponsored by Hostess.
Sponsored by Hostess. They cracked out the ho
-hos and everyone went crazy. Everyone went crazy.
There's one left and well, that's how it all
started. So the meal consisted of venison, shellfish,
corn, and fowl. This happened in the fall during
harvest time. It was a day to give thanks even
if, as I mentioned, that actual holiday didn't
come until later. We had this image, right? Newbies,
natives giving thanks for a bountiful feast for
each other and sadly that the image was kind
of a lie. Right. Native because you always see
like the pictures in the history books and like
they're the pilgrims and they're the Indians
and they're all like Like they're all heavy on
ambient and they're all like sitting there looking
at each other over this big -ass turkey Well,
the fact is that probably was not a turkey was
probably a small pheasant if anything But it
but at any rate The natives died by the thousands
from the diseases we brought over first and foremost,
right? So rarely if ever were the natives and
in vaders, as I call them, friendly. In our childhood,
we remember, for example, cowboys and Indians,
right? They're shooting arrows and pew -pew guns,
and they're chasing each other and horses. Growing
up, to us, it was like, oh, this is cowboys being
cowboys and Indians being Indians. Whatever,
we didn't know, right? Stupid kids. But it was
the stuff we weren't taught, right? that Native
Americans were slowly being pushed out west with
the ultimate purpose of exterminating most, if
not all, of them. Right. Yeah. So, you know,
thanks for nothing, white man. You know, you
had things like the California Massacre, Battle
of Tippie Canoe, Sand Creek Massacre, Wounded
Knee, Trail of Tears. In the 1930s, the U .S.
Bureau of Indian Affairs sterilized over 70 ,000
Native American women, ultimately dividing tribes
into reservations spread out across western United
States. Conditions then and today are pretty
poor. Living conditions, bad resources, scarce,
crime high, drug and alcohol use higher than
the national average, very high suicide rates,
and political and socioeconomic disadvantage.
Basically systematic genocide spanning several
centuries. Right. So remember as you share some
turkey and stuffing and potatoes and pie and
I'm hungry With with your friends and family
that that the roots of this holiday were technically
born in blood We need to be a better society
love our friends family and neighbors think of
others more than yourself Give a hand up to those
struggling and just let people know you care
we should be ashamed of some of our history.
This is in that for sure. Right. A large portion
of our history. A large portion of our history.
This is not great. But what we can't go back
and change history, but what we can do is from
here on out just learn from it and be better.
Right. And truly give thanks. Not that it's this
pretend holiday that was created. In the fashion
it was created. But just giving thanks to your
friends and your family and watch football and
eat food. That's it. Yeah. That's it. That's
all you gotta do. And don't go shopping. God
damn it. Don't go shopping on Thanksgiving. Do
not encourage. Don't be one of those people.
Yeah. Do not encourage these dog shit corporations.
Oh, we gotta be open on Thanksgiving now. Start
Black Friday earlier. No. Do not encourage that
behavior. Stay home. One day where you're not
consuming shit. Right. where you're not buying
into, oh, all these Black Friday specials. They're
not that special. No, they, at least these days,
the prices get raised so they can do this big
40 % off sale. No, no, that's not, they raise
the price to drop the price to fool you. Do you
know what Black Friday used to be about? When
I was young, my mom and dad, they used to host
Thanksgiving a lot. And so... Most times it was
six, seven, eight of us. Sometimes maybe a dozen.
Jesus, you know? Ladies and gentlemen, we've
never had a murder on the podcast. But I'm not
saying that's a deal breaker. Totally derailed
your story, I'm sorry. Just derailed a family
story. For this 6 -7 shit. You keep saying it
though. It just slips out. That's what she said.
Anyway, you know, we would have seven, eight,
nine, ten people. Six, seven, Christ. Anyway,
we would just, we'd have family over, small gathering,
whatever. Every once in a while, I'd bring a
friend. And of course, my parents are always
like, what? And I'm just like, he's got nowhere
to go. He's coming here. And that was it, because
I was just like, that was my way of saying, this
is what this shit is all about. You know, Matt
is coming over. Tommy's coming over. Right. Whoever's
coming over, they're not sitting home alone on
Thanksgiving. And that's what it was all about.
But on Black Friday, at least what it used to
be when I was a kid, my sister, Chris, she worked
at the local shopping mall. So on Thanksgiving
night. She used to have to wrap up like by eight
or nine o 'clock and get dressed and head out
into work. She wasn't going there because they
were open and they were selling things. All the
stores were putting up their Christmas decorations.
Right. So that's why people went in. So they'd
go in like eight, nine, ten o 'clock till midnight
one and then boom, they put up all their Christmas
decorations. Then they'd open the morning, sometimes
a little bit early, but not crazy, stupid early.
And then all the stores were magically transformed
into Christmas. That's when it would happen.
And so that's the main reason people would go
shopping, be like, oh, the store is going to
look so cool and the tree will be up and this
and that. But now the tree is up like day after
Halloween and no one gives a shit anymore. They
start playing like all these convenience stores
and shitty department stores. Oh my God. Start
playing Christmas music November 1st. It's like
this is like this is like Guantanamo Bay torture
of your employees. No doubt. They're listening
to, you know, jumping around the Christmas tree
for the 500th time this season. Yeah. Like that's
my version of hell, to be completely honest.
Sitting in a room watching the Green Bay Packers
beat the Bears over and over while listening
to Mariah Carey's ass. Oh, yeah. It's just like
that is my hell. That's like if I go there, that's
what it's going to be. Devastating. I'd be like,
oh my god, can I die again, please? Maybe go
somewhere. Is there a different room? Oh, yeah,
just not good. But yeah. Yeah, so what's your
take on the whole Thanksgiving thing? Well, you
mentioned. I know we've talked. Yes. Like it's
a favorite holiday, but in its current form.
Right, right. And you mentioned the kind of the
history of the Native Americans and their poor
living conditions today. So I went a little deeper
because it is the season of giving thanks and
giving. in general, when you can. So I did a
little research and I found a handful of charities
and just things you can follow if you have the
funds to do so. I know it's tough these days
because, you know, the working class is fucking
bullied every day. People aren't working and
it's just underpaid. Yeah. It sucks. But if you
can, there are several charities to help the
what's left of the Native Americans in this country,
you can look up the National Indigenous Women's
Resource Center, Coalition to Stop Violence Against
Native Women, and those are both tied to the
fact that I think somewhere around like double
the national standard is like how frequently
violence against Native American women occurs,
where like four in five Native American women
will experience violence in their lifetime. And
you can look up the NLTBP Facebook page, Native
Lives Taken by Police, because that's violence
against Native Americans from the police. I mean,
you can look at how they were bullied around
with the whole Keystone Pipeline thing. Right.
So that's a good way to track that and find ways
to support them. You can look up... Native American
Aid is a donation program, American Indian Humanitarian
Foundation. So there's a lot of good that you
can do, Native American Rights Fund also. So
if you can afford to give this season, definitely
check them out. Definitely check them out and
do your research, proper research, not scrolling
around Facebook looking at memes, on the horrors
and genocide that you know, the settlers and
colonists did against the Native Americans. And
make sure your children know, because fuck knows
public schools aren't teaching the full story.
Or the story at all. No, they really don't. They
don't. The whitewashing of history in general
is disturbing. It's really bad. At any rate,
thanks for sharing those. And yeah, give if you
can. And if you can't give money, as we said,
it's tough for a lot of people. You can give
awareness. Give your time. Give your time towards
things. I know there's an organization locally
called 500 Turkeys, and that's its original name.
Although, like today, I think they provide up
to 2 ,000. free Thanksgiving dinners. So you're
talking the turkey, you're talking stuffing and
potatoes and like all that and they're all put
in boxes and they're all given to families in
need. And there's a lot of people with the local
organization and they take the time to box all
these up and ship them out and do the whole thing.
Like it's a process. There are definitely a hundred
or more people in the community that kind of
band together and get this thing cooking. Right.
And I know that on Q101, which is a local Chicago
radio station, they're doing fundraising for,
I think it's a drive called God Bless the Gravy
or something like that, and provides money and
resources for the greater Chicagoland food banks.
So that as well is a good way to help out. That's
awesome. That's great. So, yeah, at any rate,
happy Thanksgiving until you find folks have
fantastic feasts. If you can, even if you can't,
look, so much is put on us monetarily, right?
And even if we don't have a huge family, right?
We still make the big bird and we do this and
we do that. You know, just get a turkey breast.
Right. You know, or make yourself some turkey
sandwiches or, you know, just have a nice meal.
That's the whole point. Have a nice meal. You
know, flip on the TV, there's football. Right.
Football and food. You know, have family over,
have friends over, all that kind of good stuff.
And just enjoy yourself. I know back in the day
we used to play football on Thanksgiving morning.
Yeah. And it was like the highlight of the day.
Obviously Friday was not highlight of any day
because everybody was so damn sore from playing
football. Right. But in that morning it was great.
Yes. It was awesome. So, whatever you do over
Thanksgiving weekend, I know a lot of people
have a long weekend. Yeah. Have fun with it.
Have fun and enjoy it. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely.
So, at any rate, let's take a quick break and
we'll be back with Carpe Diem. I'm Mark. This
is Aiden. And we're moving on to Carpe Diem.
These DMs that you send us and we read them on
the show, which is great. And if they're in the
form of a question, we'll well, I mean, we can
answer them. We've got the ability to answer
them. Certainly. Now, whether we do it or not
is dependent on no, I don't know. Like. If I
had nothing in my left hand, but then all of
a sudden my right hand is like, whoa, why is
my right hand really heavy? There's wheat there.
And there's a gold bar. Whoa. I'd be like, wow,
that's so cool. Do you have a question for me?
Do you have a question? Can I answer something
for you? Right, right. That's all we're saying.
Just throwing the idea. We're planting a seed.
We're going to let that grow in your brain. That's
right. If you're trying to figure out, oh, man,
how do I get on Carpe Diem? It's an idea. It's
just an idea. That's all it is. And we figure,
hey. It's how our government works. Exactly.
Why can't we work the same way? If the Supreme
Court can do it. Right. The Mark Mo Show can
do it. That's right. So if you're if you the
real question in your head is, hey, can I buy
influence with the Mark Mo Show? The answer is
yes. Resoundingly. Resoundingly, yes. Yeah. You
absolutely can. you will and should you'll get
to the front of the line yes yeah this is a pay
to win platform that's right that's right and
a lot of people in the 80s and 90s got in trouble
with the pay to play yeah and not a problem here
not a problem at all so anyway um i'll go through
mine i've got four i think so i have at scotty
pilgrim hi my guys turkey day is coming up y
'all What is your favorite dish on the table,
and what do you skip? Ooh, favorite dish on the
table. That's a good question. I think you can
never go wrong with the mashed potatoes and gravy.
That's like a staple. That's a staple. I would
say. Mashed potatoes and gravy. Ooh. With our
Irish heritage, like, that can be a meal. Just
give us a bowl full of potatoes. Oh yeah. Easily.
Easily. The garlic cheese potatoes get real.
I already told you I'm hungry, don't do this
to me. Yeah, mashed potatoes and gravy for sure,
that's always on the plate. Turkey, as long as
it's cooked by someone I trust, that's gonna
be on the plate. I would say what's a good skip?
Green bean casserole every time. You're not a
green bean guy. I'm not. I've come around to
them like I've always liked the fresh ones, but
the green bean casserole I always find There's
enough parmesan and other shit in there that
it's mostly just like savory and then like with
a touch of mush So I'm like okay with it these
days There are some like sides or dips like usually
there's like buffalo chicken dip or something
along those lines I usually skip that because
most of the time it's just like this vitriolic
pink sludge. Yeah. And I'm like, I'm sure it
tastes fine. I can't do it. No. I'm not going
to put myself through that. Or like on the dinner
table, there's always like this. fruit salad
whipped cream thing, and I'm like, oh, isn't
that weird? I'm like, I don't want that on the
same plate with all my savory shit. No, it's
a weird flex on that one. Yeah. So I skip both
of those. I'm not a fan. Like if it were like
a several course meal and that was in like a
course before the main entrees came out and was
like maybe with some other like items, then it's
different. But if you're putting that out there
with like stuffing and potatoes. Right. It's
like, yeah, I see. I kind of feel the same way
about cranberry, too. because most people will
not take cranberries and make their own. Aiden's
aunt will do this. Like she gets she has very
froufy style and like she creates this like own
cranberry that she makes on her own or whatever.
And I'm sure if you like cranberries, it's probably
really great. But once again, it kind of offsets
the savory a little bit. And quite frankly, I
just don't like cranberries. So if the cranberries
are on the table, not keep moving. Yeah. You
know, the green big casserole is there. I will
bury it. I will literally like put a towel or
a paper towel to take this out back and get rid
of this. Yeah. Hey, everybody's done with this,
right? It's like a full tray fresh out of the
oven. Oh, I can. You want this thrown away, right?
Right. A recipe for green bean casserole. I almost
said green bay casserole. Might as well cook
them. They're cooked anyway. So. They should
rename it Green Bay Casserole. They really should.
Oh, what is this? Oh, it's shit. It's disgusting.
Yeah. They take it out of the oven. Next instruction,
deposit. Throw away? Does that say deposit in
the toilet? Find nearest garbage disposal. Oh,
OK. Place Green Bay Casserole into said disposal.
Yeah, F that stuff. I don't like that. Yeah.
At all. You did mention stuffing though, and
stuffing is on that plate. I'm good on stuffing.
I like stuffing. I love it. Once again, if people
start getting crazy with their stuffing, and
they're putting fruit and shit in it, I get angry.
I'm like, that's not what I want. No. I want
like a good... Sage sausage or sausage. Well,
you can put sausage on there sure And sometimes
it does have sausage in it. But anyway, yeah
put it like a sage Stuffing, you know the the
celery's yeah other veggies and the bread and
I like all that shit is just good It's fantastic.
Yeah, no doubt and by the way, let's let's talk
about this. Shall we? Uh oh. No, this is a serious
conversation. I think they should probably have
a primetime form on this. I want to know if you
don't put it in the bird when the bird cooks,
is it called stuffing? Or do you have to call
it dressing if it's not in the bird? Oh, sure.
Inquiring minds want to know. Yeah, that's along
the same vein as is a hot dog a sandwich. It's
that same type of question where it's divisive.
You know, because it's like dish name versus
dish classification. Right? I would say that
the dish is called stuffing. At least that's
how I've always heard it called. Sure. But I
would agree with you. It's not... You didn't
stuff the bird with it, right? Right. So then
it's dish classification is no longer stuffing.
But the dish itself, like the contents of the
of the recipe is the same. One is put in addition
to the oven. The other one is stuck in the bird.
Stuffed. Stuffed. So then when the bird comes
out and you're carving it, you pull the stuffing
out of the bird. Well, I guess you would also
be stuffing it in the pan to put it in the oven.
Sure. Which would still make it stuffing. But
instead of the bird, it was stuffed into a pan.
It really depends on your on your definition
of the word stuff. It's very gray. Yeah, it's
very gray very gray I have heard it called like
dressing before mm -hmm, but I don't like that
classification either because I think of dressing
as a sauce of some kind Okay, right to assist
a different food item. Yeah, you know so I it's
always stuffing to me, but I definitely see where
you're coming from yeah, and I once again there's
another food like potatoes is up there like money's
tight stovetop sage stuffing is like a buck 50
a box or something like it's cost nothing yeah
very and it's super easy to make on a saute pan
oh yeah and you probably have one or two meals
out of it and if you do have some sausage or
ground beef you can check that in there you got
a meal man get your protein in there hell yeah
yeah and you can do that year -round Yes. You
can make that cheat meal any time of the year.
Yes, you can. Absolutely. I am interested, though,
any chefs or culinary experts out there, your
way in on the classification of this dish. Yeah,
stuffing slash dressing. Yeah. It's always stuffing
to me. It's always stuffing to me, too. Yeah.
All right. At Johnny on the Spot. How the hell
is that guy in the White House still in the White
House shit dog? I used to be a Republican These
guys be straight -up gangsters. Oh wow It's a
it's an acute observation there Jonathan Yeah,
I don't know I always figured you know considering
he's a you know pedophile check and fraudster
Jack scam artist Jack Adulterer. Check. Felon.
Felon. Check. Check. I always figured that would
somehow disqualify. Like that'd be enough. Yeah,
like that would be enough. And now that the files
are coming out in air quotes, they're like coming
out, but they're still kind of being leaked because
they're always trying to stop them from actually
coming out. Right. Yeah, and now a lot of the,
or at least a... a percentage of the righties
are kind of changing their mind on the whole
Donald Trump cult thing going on. Yeah, maybe
it's not such a great thing. Right. But it's
like, how is this the straw that breaks the camel's
back? There were a hundred other things that
should have done that before for you. Yeah. How
is ice running around major cities, beating up
people, putting naturalized citizens in the backs
of their cars? Right, abducting citizens. Yeah,
that's a problem. Yeah. But not enough to kick
him out. I guess so yeah Johnny in the spot I
don't know what the hell is going on now, but
we're keeping our eye on it But I mean this guy
makes Nixon look like a Boy Scout right? Which
says a lot so I don't I don't know what the hell
they're doing I just you know if Watergate were
to happen today. It wouldn't even be reported
I don't even know if it'd make the news wouldn't
even be reported on At Wet Willy 333 oh wow you
have to pick one Live in a great house in the
most perfect location But you have a shitty job
making 15 bucks an hour the rest of your life.
Oh or Live in a very boring depressing part of
the world in a meager dwelling But you have a
dream job making 50 bucks an hour. That's a good
question. I mean You gotta break our brains like
that wet Willie. Yeah Because it then begs the
question If you're making that $50 an hour doing
your dream job, are you to be stuck in said depressed
Dwelling the assumption if that's the assumption
then it's like what am I making all the money
for like am I gonna buy a supercar or Doesn't
say anything about vehicle. Yeah, but if you're
in a boring depressed part of the world that
car might not last in your driveway right right
I Yeah, cuz if if the house the You know great
grand house in a perfect location if that's already
paid for if i'm living there for free I think
the 15 bucks an hour probably would cover most
of my other expenses If you've got everything
else, that's a good point. Yeah, because I mean
the cost of living is so fucking high Yeah, oh,
yeah that I mean if you essentially take what
is the average american pay? 40 50 percent of
their paycheck towards rent or mortgage these
days. Yep If it should technically be Should
be about a third, right? It's 25 to 33 percent.
Yeah. Is where rent slash mortgage should fall.
And we're almost double that. And for most people,
yeah, for most people it's over 40 percent. Yeah.
Some 50. So if you take away that cost, your
equivalent wage of 15 bucks an hour could have
the purchasing power of 30 bucks an hour because
there's something huge you're not paying for.
Correct. So I kind of like the nice house but
stuck making 15. Yeah, I get it. I get it. I,
you know? But I gotta say, if you're working
a shitty job, I didn't weigh that in. Oh no.
But it's a shitty job. So I would hate, hate,
hate shitty jobs. What if you're cleaning toilets?
Or you're, like, it's just a bad job. Bad people.
Bad boss. All of it. I immediately change my
mind. Fuck that. I will live in the shitty little
house. And be happy. And be happy. Because the
2 ,000 hours a year I'll be working and getting
paid well for it, if I'm loving every bit of
that, that's at least a good 2 ,000 hours of
my time. Yep. You know? So yeah, I changed my
mind. That immediately changed my mind. Yep.
Same. Same. I'm with you. All right. The last
one I've got is at stonerstanley420. Oh, boy.
Oh, no. Gozzle Gozzle, Momo and Alan. Gozzle.
Maybe you're supposed to be gobble. I think you're
right. Oh, no. Gozzle Gozzle. He still calls
it Turkin. The Turkin is ready today, and I'll
drink the gravy. Remember, it is about being
an unthinking guy. An unthinking guy. Thanks
guys. Keep joking and token. God bless your soul,
Stanley. I'll keep the joking. You can keep the
token. I'm not allowed to. Yep. But yeah, a -gozzle
-gozzle to you, too. Enjoy the Turkin. Absolutely.
Best of luck being an unthinking guy. An unthinking
guy, yeah. Remember, it's all about being an
unthinking guy. An unthinking guy. Oh, man. Well,
that's it for my Carpe Diem. Aidan, what do you
got? I got one here from DCFan389. Ooh. Which
of Superman's powers would you choose to have?
If you could only have one. Which of Superman's
powers? So I could either fly super fast. That's,
yeah, that's good. That's got utility to it.
Never having to go through TSA or buy shitty
tickets from a shitty airline again. I'm gonna
fly to Seattle and see my sister. Two minutes
later, you're there. The laser eyes? I could,
you know, that's just actual superhero stuff.
Like, invulnerability would be kind of nice.
But I also don't face death often, so I don't
know how I would utilize it. Yeah Super strength
is kind of fun. I would never have to like hire
movers You know obviously I can just move stuff.
Yeah, I I gotta go with flight though I don't
think ice breath is gonna do anything for me.
No that won't do anything I gotta go can't he
see through shit, too. He got the x -ray vision.
Yeah see through walls Or I guess the earth if
he wanted to maybe Yep, the super hearing. Yeah,
cuz remember when he's like becoming Superman.
He's Clark Kent and Smallville and like People
are like asking for help and stuff like he was
hearing oh, yeah, yeah, yeah freaking them out.
Yep Yeah, maybe flying. Yeah, I gotta go with
the flying for sure. Yep. I kind of dig that
Although being bulletproof would be cool that
would be not that it's very practical But you
just walk into a bank being robbed like take
the money from the robbers. I'll be taking this
All right, I got a DM here yeah from LARP er
lad Oh, you're dropped in the past as a spectator
of medieval Europe, where are you most excited
to visit? That is an excellent question. I would
love to see like southern Scandinavia, you know,
like pre -industrial revolution. Sure. Just like
the beauty of the earth before human beings and
capitalists tainted it. And of course, Ireland
for the same purpose of just like The nature
is all still there. Hang out with some druids,
man. Oh, yeah. Get crazy. Oh my god, could you
imagine going to a pub in like the medieval era?
I'll have your finest swill, boy. Make it snappy.
Yeah, quite. Quite indeed. Why the fuck is he
talking like that? I don't know. What the hell's
wrong with that guy? Hmm, you see? Hey, you know
what I'd really like to know is why he just said
that that drink slayed. What does this? Just
doesn't look like a slay to me Yeah, that would
that would yeah, I don't know how that would
be. Yeah, I think I would probably want to check
out like Versailles and just all of The grandiosity
that's not a word. It's very cool The grandiosity
that was France during the Middle Ages sure Yeah.
And just see some of that. I think that would
be amazing. And also, also Italy, too, because,
you know, you're talking post -Roman Empire,
but there's still a lot of what was created then.
Sure. That's still there. Yeah. And in better
condition, obviously, than it is today, you know,
so. What was the Coliseum like then? What was,
you know, like all these various things? I would
want to know. Yeah. You know, I would want to
know. And maybe there were still some aqueducts
and maybe they were like, you know, it would
just be cool to see. That would be fascinating.
Yeah. I'd love to see what boat travel was like.
Like just sit on a boat with the sailors, you
know. I'd love to introduce them to oranges.
You'll be the man that prevents scurvy. That
would be insane, yeah. I think you guys just
need some vitamin C. Yeah. You ever hear of ascorbic
acid? He's speaking witchcraft. That'd be kind
of fun. That would be fun. That would be good.
Got a DM here from our boy KrippieGru. Kripp.
What's a fairly normal thing that you just can't
stand? Fairly normal thing that you just can't
stand. That's interesting. Feel like the first
one that comes to my mind is Like whether I'm
like doing customer service, which is like a
portion of my job Or like being a customer somewhere.
Yeah having like an employee or a peer or something
like use like Terms of endearment like honey
or darling with me and I'm like I Understand
you're just being polite. Maybe that's just your
your your dialect vernacular. I Hate that. Yeah,
don't walk up to me and be like, oh honey the
blood like no No, no Well, you could double down
With either a far more offensive term or one
that just doesn't make any sense, right? You
know be like, hey, what can I get you honey?
I'm like, hey twinkle toast You know, and just
throw something out there and be like, oh, do
you call me Twinkle Toes? Do you call me honey?
Yeah, right. Just really serve that ball right
back to them. Just serve it back. That's great.
I'll have to keep that in mind. And if you drop
it and they pick it up like a champ. Oh, yeah.
Then you can call me anything you want. You earn
my respect at that point. I crack out Twinkle
Toes. They call me baby girl. Yeah. Whoa. Hey,
sweet cheeks, chill out. Yeah, I just, you know,
just roll with it. I like that. I'll have to
employ that at some point. God, I can't think
of a single thing except people. People in general.
Yeah. It's a fairly normal thing and you can't
stand it. People in general, which is an odd
thing for me because I'm probably more of an
extrovert and people know me. You're a charismatic
guy. I'm pretty charismatic, right? But in the
same sense, it's kind of weird. Because like
extroverts or extroverts introverts or introverts,
but there's a whole bunch of us that are kind
of ride that middle Which I guess is called ambivert
and it's like look we can be out there and we
can like Be the guy or the girl like in that
scene in that party in that room And we're just
on but when we're not on We just like, we just
have to shut down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We really
do. I feel that. So definitely like ambivert,
but you know, when you're not feeling it, people's
the last thing you want. Yeah. Oh, I agree. To
deal with at that time. You know, it's just like,
this is book time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is
where I do my meditation on the couch for the
next three hours. I do not want to be bothered
by humans. It's the recharge station. It is definitely
the recharge station. I'd say the last thing
that comes to mind on that front is the 10 to
20 percent because driving I drive for a living
right CDLA Plus I deliver product 10 to 20 percent
of drivers never use a turn signal. Hmm Not only
is it the law, but it's just the right thing
to do Yeah, even if you think no one's around
you on the road just get in the habit of using
a turn signal Yeah, why not? Because if you get
in a crash and you didn't use a turn signal,
guess who's at fault, big man? Uh -oh. Uh -oh.
So yeah, that ticks me off. I guess it should.
Yeah. Oh yeah. Final DM I received here is from
Pulky Gumbo. Oh. First time I've ever heard of
Pulky Gumbo. Rats are mammals, right? Can you
milk a rat? What does rat milk taste like? Funky
gumbo. What the shit dog? I think he's been hanging
out with stoners down hanging out with the Stan
I think I Think rats are mammals the rodents,
but rodents are mammals they give live birth
Yeah, which means they would have milk right
which means that you could could you milk a rat?
What would rat milk taste like? Now I'm kind
of curious. Well, then there's that one scene
in The Fockers with Ben Stiller and Robert De
Niro, too, where he's like talking about, like,
milking a cat. So he's talking about milking
a cat. Robert De Niro's like, hey, I got nipples.
Can you milk me? Men can lactate, by the way.
That's what I've heard. Yeah. I wouldn't want
to find out, but I've heard it's true. And if
you can milk a rat, okay, here, if it was pasteurized
and homogenized, would you try rat milk? No.
I think I might. Would you really? Because if
it's safe for human consumption, right? Yeah.
If it's pasteurized, homogenized, whatever else.
Just to say I have had it. Yeah. It's like, oh,
I wonder what rat milk tastes like. Well, let
me tell you. You know? Rat milk. God. I think
I'd give it a try. Would you? Maybe yeah, maybe
given the choice. I think I might What's the
other choice is what I'm saying the other choice
is not drinking rat milk, right? Pleasant person
gave us that would you like some would you like
some rat milk honey? Oh surely twinkle toes Fantastic.
Says that you're the last one for the DMs. By
all means, send your DMs our way. You can do
it here on the YouTubes or any of the podcast
platforms, all of our socials. You can find Aidan
Maloney, Mark Maloney, Maloney Media. All of
our shows have various pages and whatnot. So
find us, send us a message, and we're happy to
post your DM, and maybe, perhaps. answer your
question. Yes, quite. We've talked about that.
Yeah, we covered that. We covered that. It's
now the time in the show where we talk about
the other foods. Nah, it's not a burger. Nah,
it's not a hot dog. It's stuff from around the
world that would probably smell worse than your
garbage and tastes like rat milk. Yeah. Yeah,
it could taste like rat milk. Yeah, for sure.
So I'm very interested to see what Aidan's got
for us today. I wish rat milk was my other food.
But no, I did not research into other mammals'
milks today. I got a topical one. I found this
article on Reddit of people discussing the worst
Thanksgiving dish that their family or they've
heard makes. The question was asked by user AtWorkKit.
asking what the worst Thanksgiving dish is, saying
their family loves the depression -era jello
salads and potato salads that they say are just
mayonnaise, potatoes, and whole black olives.
That's the potato salad. Mm, okay. Yeah, no seasoning,
just potatoes, mayo, and olives. Top comment
from RR Cooks. My grandma always makes this lime
jello salad with pineapple shredded carrots and
mayonnaise on top. Nope. What is it with jello
and old people doing weird shit with it? I don't
know. Why? Holy shit. Someone who has since deleted
their account says their grandfather always likes
making the same coffee cake, but he doesn't know
how to do it and it comes out of the oven already
stale. Ah! That's a skill. That is a skill. Someone
by the name of Christopher Zero U .S. says, uh,
my mom is terrified of undercooked proteins and
getting ill, so she'll use the pop -up thermometers
in the bird that say they're done at 180, which
is well past done, if you know anything about
cooking the bird, and then she'll leave it in
for another half an hour just to be safe. No
way. And she would compensate for the dryness
by making half of a gallon of gravy every year.
Oh no. Oh no. This person, Renee Nevermore says,
my husband's grandmother puts chopped hard -boiled
eggs into the gravy boat. Destroying the gravy
with hard -boiled eggs. Oh God, why? Yeah, why
would you do that? That's nasty, dude. The final
comment I've got on here from a person named
Treacherous Dev says, green jello, add olives,
ricotta, pepperoni, yellow bell peppers, trapped
in a meat pie. Now you show up at my house at
that, you're getting punched, and then you're
not invited to dinner any longer. Yeah, no, that's
bad. Don't do that. Foul. That's disgusting.
Foul. Thanksgiving can be so simple, people.
Don't take that advice. Don't do what those people
did. I agree. Yeah. So that's the the worst Thanksgiving
dishes I could find on that forum. Well, thank
you for sharing that. Oh, you're welcome. My
pleasure. Things to avoid on Thanksgiving Day.
We appreciate that. Don't put eggs in your gravy.
Don't do that. Good God. So before I move on
to the frozen guy review. I've got a frozen meal
that I that I have for this week. I decided to
pull something up on ye old phone. OK. Rat milk
is high fat, low carbohydrate milk with concentrated
solids, making it nutritionally rich and different
from human or cow's milk. It is used in scientific
research for studying animal development, the
effects of medications or the might. microbiome.
While commercial use for human consumption are
not standard, rat milk substitutes are sometimes,
here we go, are sometimes used to feed rat pups
for research. That's awesome. It's a nutrient
dense macronutrient profile is high fat. Fat
content the fat content can be around fourteen
point eight percent or higher. Oh my god Protein
and carbohydrate protein content is about eleven
point eight percent while carbohydrates around
two point eight vitamins and minerals it consists
Contains necessary vitamins and minerals through
levels particularly of certain trace elements
like iron and copper That's awesome immune no
globulins It is rich in immunoglobulins, IgG
predominance, unlike human milk, where the IgA
is most abundant, which are transferred from
mother to pup to boost the immune system. That's
so cool. I know there are some bodybuilders ears
who perked up hearing those macros you just mentioned.
Yes, sir. Oh, man, high fat and high protein.
Let's go lifting, boys. Let's go lifting. Bring
the rat milk. And it is packaged in such a way
that... In such a way! Wow, that's... Does it
look like... Oh my god! Leche de rata! Rat milk.
Ink ink farms. That's fucking awesome! We have
to purchase that and try it. Oh no! We have to
purchase and try that. The rat milk dream is
still alive boys should should should we Purchase
said rat milk and try it on the podcast. Let
us know less now. Let us know if we should do
that This is the most exciting news. I've gotten
in years. That's so is that rat milk? Well, at
any rate. Kunky Gumbo's day just got way better.
Just got way better. So my Frozen Guy review,
this will pale in comparison, I'm sure. Lean
Cuisine, if you remember, I did a Lean Cuisine
last week. Gave it a grade. Won't repeat the
grade. What was it again? Aidan? Yeah. Just no.
No. It was two weeks in a row it got a grade.
Two weeks in a row it got that grade. uh lean
cuisine cheese rigatoni now if you remember you
had the cheese ravioli right last time yeah if
you remember last time i said that the sauce
was very liquidy almost soup like right right
and so to make it better like i had uh I had
like a three cheese blend in my fridge and I
took a chunk and I put it in there through back
of the microwave for like 20 seconds and it helped
to thicken things up a little bit. Right. This
was different. It was like a chunky tomato sauce.
Oh, good. With rigatoni. It really the taste
was very good. The noodles, I thought for the
time on the box, the noodles cooked well and
and I enjoyed it. I definitely enjoyed it and
I gave it a grade of 7 .7. 7 .7, solid. Yeah.
Did they include a protein besides the cheese
you mentioned? Or was it just the pasta dish?
Just the rigatoni noodles, the tomato sauce,
which was straight up like marinara. Yeah, yeah,
yeah. And cheese. How is it on the filling scale?
For the portion size, I felt It was adequate.
So like if you're really hungry You're probably
gonna need something else a couple piece of bread
or something But I don't know like if you're
not super hungry, but it's like lunchtime and
you're just grabbing something quick to hold
you over It'll probably be fine. But if you're
really hungry probably not enough. Yeah. Yeah,
it gets a 7 -7 on 10 7 -7 the taste was really
good. And yeah, the only other thing I would
recommend is that Is that the portion size probably
a little bit small. Sure. But like if you pick
two of them up, you'd have a hearty dinner. Yeah.
I think you would. The price point is decent
on these? The price point was decent. It was
fair. The lean cuisines are usually... depending
on what part of the country you're in. Right.
Anywhere between like 328 to 378. Oh, that's
not bad. Somewhere in that ballpark. That's really
not bad. No, that's fine. And like I said, if
you're going to go out to McDonald's or you're
going to go out to some other fast food place,
you're going to spend 15 bucks now to get a meal.
So if you can stay home and do a meal for under
four. In this economy? In this economy? Yeah.
Shit. Yeah, that's a no -brainer, my guy. That
is excellent news. So Lean Cuisine, this is probably
one of their better ones. Well, I've what? Done
two Lean Cuisines. You've done three? Three?
Yeah. I did do three. Yeah. Trying to remember
what the other one was. You had the cheese ravioli.
The rigatoni. Was it... It might have been...
We'll have to look that up. Yeah. I think maybe
it was the chicken and broccoli thing, maybe.
Maybe. I don't know. We'll have to look that
up. Yeah, I know this is the third lean cuisine
though. I think this is might be the best grade
of them all. Yes, because the back -to -back
lean cuisines were We're not as high not as high
about precisely one point lower about yeah All
right, we're gonna come back we're gonna do you
just made the list in just a second All right,
we are back for our feature segment. You just
made the list. That is our top 10 list, 10 through
two, and then the big number one reveal. The
list consists of, oh gosh, just about anything
you can imagine. We've been doing these lists
for years, and we've repeated a lot of them.
And we stayed true. We stayed pretty true to
the mission of this. The only other thing I guess
worth mentioning are our official You just made
the list rules a rule set. Yeah, that's right.
So let me flip open the book page 28 Book two
is a really big book. Oh, look at this number
eight. No rules Oh, thank God. So we're gonna
look like an entire read the paper in there Um,
there is so we just save it in case we need any
like yeah any amendments to that Exactly. Well,
that's it. Exactly. Yeah, you know, you got to
have those amendments that you can't change because
they're called amendments anyway Americans yeah
This particular you just made the list favorite
holiday traditions Of any holiday any holiday.
Yeah. Yeah, that's the rules. That's rules. That's
what we're doing So Aiden, we'll run our ten
through two. Ten through two. Save the big number
one. You got it. What do you got, dude? Number
ten on my list. Easter egg hunting. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, fantastic times. Probably haven't participated
in that in probably a decade plus. But I remember
as a wee lad, that was always like a fantastic,
fantastic way to kick off spring, really. Just
like, because we never really celebrated Easter,
but we always did the eggs and the candy inside
and it's like this nice family day. That was
always fantastic memories. That was always fantastic.
And you know the thing about them too, it really
gives parents the opportunity to be dicks. This
is true. and get away with it. Where's this fucking
last egg? You always get those eggs and there's
some of them you put in super easy spots just
to get the juices flowing. They're pumped up.
They're finding their eggs. They're collecting.
Each kid had a color egg. Say, oh, this one's
mine, this one's mine, blah, blah. And then,
yeah, well, you got one more. It's like under
a frozen pizza in the freezer. I think one year
we had Alex's out in a tree in the yard or some
shit. We went hard. We went hard on it for sure.
But it was fun. Yeah, it was fantastic. Number
nine on my list is New Year's Eve drinks and
reminiscing and future hopes and all that. It's
kind of just a good time of year. to just like
look back on well hey how did 2025 actually go
and you know learn learn from mistakes and you
know reminisce on happy memories however many
there are i mean shit it's it's been not only
a tough year for most people it's been a tough
decade for most people so oh for sure but it
is it is still a good time and you know to look
forward on a a new year it's kind of it's one
of those holidays that is purely Well, I guess
all holidays are human -made but this one specifically
is just like we like built the calendar New Year's
Eve could be literally any day of the year. We
just decided it was the 31st of December And
also it's a fun thing to do in winter and there's
usually not fun things to do in winter So that
is for sure. How do you at least put that one
on there? Yeah, I went to a party last year was
held at a local dive bar that we have called
Franklin house And you paid like a fee up front.
I think it was like 75 bones or something. All
you can drink, all you can eat, all night long.
That's a steal. So it's a steal. And they had
a limo to give you a ride home. I would have
gotten fucking messy. Yeah. I'd have gotten a
little messy, I think. Oh, yeah. You know, because
I think I had my standard 10 beers or so. So
you got to figure each one of those is three
bucks. That's 30 right there. Plus a meal. Plus
a meal, which I think I had two. So you're talking
another 20. So yeah, it works out. Yeah. Once
you're done with it. That's fantastic. Yeah,
man. It was good. Number eight on my list, Black
Friday Shopping with the Christmas music. Back
when it used to be special. It used to be fun.
We chatted about that last segment. And that's
right when I was like a wee lad growing up into
about teenage years is when that started falling
apart, I think. of when Christmas started creeping
earlier and earlier. Yeah. And then Black Friday
just became not fun and of course the advent
of Amazon getting popular and then like my siblings
moving away so it's like everything has to be
on Amazon or Etsy or personally shipped out there.
So yeah, just more more so like memories. For
sure. Of Black Friday being fun whereas nowadays
it's just The Friday after Thanksgiving which
of course I have to work. Oh, yeah. Well if you
remember the one year I we got that client at
work. I think was a James Hotel, maybe st. James
Hotel something like that in Chicago on the north
side and And I worked it out so that we could
have a suite in the hotel and I had the free
night at the suite. I could pick one ever And
so I said, yeah, can I have Thanksgiving night?
They're like, oh, Thanksgiving night. I'm like,
why is that a problem? Well, no, why are you
going on Thanksgiving night? I'm like, Black
Friday. Yeah. And so we all went down there as
a family and we all stayed. And it was great.
It was a very swanky, cool. It was fancy in there.
Fancy as hell hotel. And we stayed overnight.
and I think we brought, I think we brought pie
from home or I know we brought some desserts
or something. We brought some food with us and
we wake up, woke up in the morning and a bunch
of us went and had breakfast. And then we bounced
to like Macy's and Sears, and there are a bunch
of other stores and stuff that we hit. But it
was just kind of like walking around. I think
they had Chris Kindle Market out there and all
that. So that was a lot of fun. Bueno. That was
an event. Yes. Which is kind of the purpose,
in my opinion, of that, for sure. Yeah, I'd agree.
Number seven on my list is the post -dinner Thanksgiving
football game with the pecan pie. Yes. Sitting
down, watching the Lions lose every year. Yeah.
Very fun. Number six, Independence Day fireworks.
Those are always good. Big fireworks show is
always a fantastic time. Number five, Christmas
morning pajamas and coffee. Yeah. It's such a
specific thing, but I love doing it. It's just
like waking up, throwing on like fuzzy pants.
just making a nice big pot of black coffee, drinking
the entire thing, because it's like the 60 minutes
that you get after waking up before the chaos
of the day. And it's just like the respite, the
calm before the storm. And it's just something
so serene about it. It's peace. Yes, peace and
caffeine and then... The eventual dread of like,
oh shit, I've got a thousand things to do today.
Uh -huh, yep, that's right. Number four on my
list, playing football Thanksgiving morning.
Oh, so great. Turkey bowl, fantastic time. Number
three, scary movies and candy on Halloween. And
since I'm not a huge fan of candy anymore, that
has turned into brewskis or mixed drinks. Yeah.
With the scary movies, but fantastic nonetheless.
Number two on my list. St. Patty's Day, brews,
and music. Yeah, buddy. Yep. I love it. I'll
save my number one. Okay. Number 10. Eggnog and
cookies while watching It's a Wonderful Life.
That's been a tradition for a long time dating
back to when I was a kid. Nice to do that with
your Aunt Kathy and we would just sit on the
floor at Grandma's house and we would watch that
movie and have some eggnog. That's right. Cookies.
It was great. And number nine. Barbecue and beer
on the 4th of July. Oh, yeah. I love it. It's
just grilling out there. Usually the weather's
on point. We've had a couple of years where it's
kind of cool for some reason because there's
photos of like me in a hoodie and like, damn,
what the hell happened that day. But most days
it's super nice. And you just throw a bunch of
stuff on the grill and get some beer and you
just chill and listen to like rock music and
hang out on a deco porch. Yeah. That's where
it's at. Yeah, and that is really all you have
to do all day. Unless you want to blow shit up
later. Then that's also highly recommended. Yes,
I agree. Maybe before you get too many beers.
Or. Or. Or. Hear me out. Or, it's true, hey man,
look, this is what I'm doing. And they call it
a Roman candle? I think you hold the bottle rocket
this way. So what you do is you stand over in
there, and I stand here, and we go bang, bang.
It's like a duel. It's a duel. Ah, shit, it hurts.
So make maybe beer and then yeah Number eight
going to the movies on Christmas Day. That's
yeah, that's a recent Tradition that I started
up as Aidan said when family started moving all
across the country. It was kind of like well
What to fill the time what to fill the time with
and I went to a movie one day And I was surprised
at how many people were there. I'm like, okay
I'm not the only guy that like probably probably
Get tired of the whole Christmas thing by after
morning and everybody's like oh my god. Let's
just go to the movies Yeah, yeah, so I do love
that the movie theaters are open. That's great
Number seven horror movie marathons leading up
to Holly leading up to Halloween. Yeah, there
you go. Love it That's you know throw throw the
movie Halloween in there, Friday the 13th. You
got the classics. Whatever. All the way up to
the recent ones. Oh yeah. Number six, watching
the Quiet Man on St. Patty's. Yeah. Just you
get that. Maybe you get some Irish soda bread
and a Guinness and you just watch them. Yes.
Hell yeah. It's my happy place. Number five,
Thanksgiving dinner. and all it has to offer,
except the green bean casserole. We've already
- We talked about it, yeah. We already threw
that in the garbage. So yeah, Thanksgiving dinners
is great. And a lot of times too, depending on
who was hosting and when, what time the dinner
was actually gonna be on the table, was most
often during crucial points of the football game.
That's true. And you're like, God damn it. And
so I always found a spot in your grandma and
papa's dining room. where I could lean to my
left and catch the TV and peep the game. Genius.
And I'd be like, Mark Daniels, stop watching
the game. It's on, though. It's on. It's on.
It's football. And Pop would be like, what's
the score? Yeah. 28 -10. Anyway, number four,
Halloween costume parties. Oh, yeah. That's great.
They're a lot of fun. Even if I don't dress up,
I still like going and see what everybody's dressed
up as. It's kind of neat. Some people are kind
of really super weak with it in their efforts.
And sometimes that might be money. And if that's
the case, get it. But some people just don't
give a shit. And then others go all out. And
it's like, yeah, you understood the assignment.
Number three, trick -or -treating. Obviously
something I haven't done in decades. But trick
-or -treating was always a blast. That's true.
We used to go around this. We had our house here
and we take the kids around and stuff and there
were a lot of families that got into it So like
you'd go up to a house and not only was it like
all decorated and stuff But like there would
be a parent or parents and they'd be dressed
up as something and forget one year what I was
dressed up I might have been God, who was I?
I know I was a spooky dude. You were Mike Myers
one year That must have been it because I think
I was Mike Myers and we turned the corner and
some dad was dressed as Jason Voorhees Oh, yeah,
I was like, but I remember going to the driveway
going there can only be one It was great and
he stayed in character that dude's credit. He
stayed in character was awesome number two Singing
dancing drinking at your local Irish pub on st.
Palia such a great time I was super glad a couple
years ago. I was able to baptize Aidan into that
And that that was a lot of fun Hopefully this
st. Patty's day will be able to get back to that.
Yeah, and it's crazy. I've only been 21 for five
years I know right that is nuts. I both feel
like I'm 35 and like 80 at the same time. Yeah.
Oh yeah. And I have my number one. My numero
uno. Oh, here we go. Was kind of a little bit
down your list, but essentially the same vibe.
Eggnog, pumpkin pie, and Christmas movies. I
love it. That's the I had both ends of Christmas
as you notice the Christmas morning before the
chaos and Then being at home after the chaos.
Yes is the best part of Christmas And also eggnog
and pumpkin pie are fucking goaded Fantastic.
Oh, yeah And of course, yeah classic Christmas
movies Christmas vacation. It's probably the
first one that comes to mind elf is a good one
Home Alone, that's not a Christmas movie. Home
Alone is. Oh, yeah, that's right. Home Alone
is, yeah. What are the other ones? Die Hard.
Die Hard, that's a good one. Definitely a Christmas
movie. Undeniably, a Christmas movie. 100%. I
think that's a mostly unrequited fact. Mm -hmm.
Yep. You know, I would argue. What's the one
I'm thinking of? Oh, Christmas Story. Christmas
Story. The one out of, was that out of Hammond,
Indiana? Or was it filmed in? It was supposed
to be Gary, I think. And it was filmed in a Cleveland
suburban town. And the house is still there,
I guess. Someone bought it and then turned it
into a museum. So you could go in the house.
From what I understand, the house is in a similar
condition to what it was in for the making of
that movie. So if that's the case, that'd be
something I'd probably want to check out sometime.
Check out that dastardly furnace. Oh, I know,
right? Fudge So yeah, that's my number one. I
love that dude. I Number one is turkey bowl Thanksgiving
morning football When I retired from it, and
I don't believe we have it any longer. I think
it finally went the way Yeah, but I believe turkey
bowl 35 34 was something like that. It got up
there and and yeah, we would just get together
and it was great because it just grew and grew
and grew grew from something my brother started
and we go to the park and I you know when I got
old enough I go to the park and play and it was
like big brother and all his big friends and
this little loud mouth kid like talking shit
and getting stomped on by big guys whatever but
I didn't care I was relentless and in the years
following It was more like turkey bowl, seven
or eight. My brother was done. And I'm like,
well, someone's got to pick up the ball and run
with it. Yeah, I should do that for a living.
Sportscaster with that puns. I could do that
all day. So I did. And it just became this massive
thing. We had people from the neighborhood. We
had friends from college. Eventually the kids
played. Aidan and Alex, I don't know if Sarah
Kerr ever played. They may have watched a couple.
I don't know if they played, though. I don't
have any photographic evidence of them. Yeah.
But I know you two guys did. Yep. And yeah, so
it was really this great thing. And I had made
up a shirt one year. And it was Turkey Bowl 25.
And I think it had the logo. I used to design
logos for each one. I had a logo on the front,
and it was Turkey Bowl 25, it was a big deal.
I put the Turkey Bowl logo on the front and on
the back, and it said it had 25, the number two
and five, 25, but names made up the two and the
five. So the names of all the people that have
ever played. That's neat. So I've got, I hope
I still have that somewhere. That's quite the
collector's item. But yeah, it was special. You
know, because you would wait, well, Let's be
honest, and this could have made our list too,
and that is Black Wednesday, which is the night
before Thanksgiving, where everybody goes out
and gets rick and hammered. Oh yeah, blasted,
yeah. And I could not control my happiness. My
friend Mark had bought a house right across from
the park that we play at. And we had some friends
in town or whatever, so there maybe a dozen of
us there. And they wanted to party, right? I
had a few drinks. I was a little buzzed. But
I'm playing football tomorrow. Right. So I'm
like, yeah, I think I'm heading back to the house
or whatever. They did not. They kept drinking
and partying. Like, I have two friends, Tommy
and Marc Bondo, and they fell asleep on his big
couch with a fox's pizza in between them. And
my buddy Tommy, I guess, woke up at like three
in the morning. He was like, ah, ah, and there's
like one piece of pizza. He's like, pizza. And
I guess he just grabbed it and shoved it in his
mouth. And I respect that so much. That's great.
Yeah, but yeah, that's the one year and everybody
got hammered and one of the people and he was
usually the opposing quarterback for most of
them was this guy, Jason, and he got hammered
to the point where before they went over to the
park, he went into a gangway for from Chicago.
You know what I mean? Went to a gangway, threw
up. So we get to the park and we're practicing
it all out before you play. That's right. Most
mornings were pretty brisk There were a couple
of turkey bowls at Primo weather. Oh, yeah, but
most were pretty brisk was a brisk morning and
I'm out there I was out there early playing catch
with two or three people and Everybody comes
wandering and I think it was the one year Tommy
and Bree were in I think might have been the
only turkey bowl she ever played in she comes
over And I was like, hey, how did the rest of
last night? He goes, oh my god, blah, blah, blah,
drinking this and that. It's like, ah, Jason's
hammered. He's throwing up. And right away I'm
like. Today's gonna be a great day. Yep today's
gonna be a great day And then they ended up like
switching rosters and stuff after like a 35 to
nothing Lee damn is just I was just torching
I'm like I had eight passes and five touchdowns
It was a second like am I picking on the drunk
right? I am totally picking on the drunk people
right should have thought about that should have
thought about that It's turkey ball come on.
You know play like a champion right? But yeah,
it was the best That is fantastic. I loved it.
I loved it. And I hope you enjoyed your time.
Yes. With that as well. Well, now that we've
talked about all our holiday fun, we're going
to go down the hole, down the Reddit rabbit hole.
Hopefully we won't have to call our Spelunker
friend to pull us out. But Aidan is going to
go down this hole with us today. And what are
we looking at? We are looking at the risk of
dying. Whoo, that's fun. Yes, so I looked up
a couple facts about death because if you were
wondering Oh, man, if I eat too much on Thanksgiving
the cholesterol, what if I die? Well, you might
you might be fine. What a way to go out. You
might be fine So this is all against the benchmark
of commercial flying Okay, being one of the safest
modes of transportation on the planet where every
1 ,000 hours of human beings flying, there is
a 0 .01 % chance of death. That's fair. We're
good. Remarkably safe. You're fine. So compare
that to driving, where for the same 1 ,000 hours,
that is 0 .04%. Hmm. It's still essentially never
going to happen. Thought it would have been higher.
That's interesting. Yeah. Resort skiing, 0 .07.
Very safe. Cycling, 0 .08. also fairly safe.
And then you get into the quote -unquote somewhat
dangerous activities like equestrian eventing.
So like horseback riding, but then like jumping
over shit on the horse. Jumping up to a whopping
0 .5%. 50 times more dangerous than commercial
flight. Marathon running 17 times more dangerous
than commercial flight. Why would you do that
to yourself? You don't have to... Do that. No,
that's why we invented the car. Yeah. It's like
the same thing with rat milk. You can choose
to have it. You can also choose not to do that.
Not to. Not to do that at all. I'm going to run
26 miles. Why? But why would you do that? Why
would you do that? Scuba diving. 0 .8%. Yeah.
Where are you scuba diving? That's what I want
to know. You in the pool? Or are you out there
with Jaws and his friends? I have a very strange
feeling that most people don't scuba dive in
pools. Yeah, well, people gotta learn. People
gotta learn. I think they learn in pools. Motorcycling,
one percent. Motorcycling, that checks out. Yeah.
I actually thought that'd be higher. One, I thought
so too actually. 100 times more dangerous than
commercial flight. General aviation. like in
biplanes, shit like that, 1 .6%. Ooh. Yeah, much,
much less safe. So what are we talking, like
hot air balloons and shit like that, hang gliders?
Yeah, well hang gliding is a different one. Oh,
okay, all right. 2 .5%. For hang gliding? Yeah.
Oh, wow. For every 1 ,000 hours of human beings
doing this, there's a 2 .5 % chance you will
die. Mm -mm. Yeah, skydiving 5 .6 % Which God
bless Yeah, it's uh It's insane that that's like
commercialized like I'll go skydiving. It's like
that's 550 times more dangerous than commercial
flight. That's that's jumping out of said plane.
Yeah, right. I was safer up here. Right The final
push of summoning Mount Everest 40 % For every
1 ,000 hours of human beings doing that 40 %
chance of death. Yeah, I don't think so. That's
way too high. It's way too high. Way too high.
And then I paired that up with this statistic
from the NHS, so all these numbers I believe
are out of UK, but with the sample size that
big it probably holds true for the rest of the
world. The most common ways to die. Oh. Period.
Full stop. First and foremost heart and circulatory
disorders make sense kill more people than anything
else on the globe Cancer is the only thing second
to that Then you've got respiratory disorders
nervous system disorders digestive kidney infections
Would be the seventh highest which I mean even
in a first world country being that high is alarming.
Yeah, which I imagine this statistic is a little
different for the U .S. because we don't have
health care here. We don't get that fancy thing
the rest of the world tends to have. You've got
non -transport accidents, which I'm not sure
how that's classified. I guess just like slip
and falls maybe for the elderly or something
like that. Diabetes being in the top 10 as well.
Diabetes. Musculoskeletal disorders and in the
UK at least, suicide being 11th. So not in the
top 10, but near. I think it's higher here. Yeah,
I believe it is. And then this one I know is
different for the UK. Murder, I believe, is just
out of the top 15. Wow. Yeah. So that's a very
small bubble compared to the rest of them. Murder
all the way down that far. Those are rookie numbers.
Yeah, be like us. Pump it up. Pump those numbers
up. Yeah, if your school kids aren't aren't constantly
under threat of having a gunman kill them. Right.
Are you really a country? Get real. A, B, C,
D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P. You can
learn under fire, man. That's what kids these
days have to do. That'll harden up a kid real
quick. Yeah. Damn. 2A people love speaking up
about gun rights when it's school kids being
massacred. But when it's gun rights with ICE
pillaging American cities, they get real quiet.
Like, what happened to you guys being so loud
all the time? Super quiet. Oh man, so strange.
Yeah. Very strange. But yeah, I just wanted to
talk about death row a little bit. And notice
how none of those bubbles or activities were
eating too much on Thanksgiving. So you're in
the clear. I think you're in the clear. I'm not
a doctor, and don't listen to podcasters when
it comes to health. things I think is general
good advice, but I think you'll be fine. Yeah,
I'm pretty sure. Chow down. Pretty sure you'll
be fine. Yeah. I do have a degree and I do have
to say that I have really great advice as it
pertains to health. Yeah. Wait, what? Oh, now
my degrees are in history and policy. Never mind.
Oh, yeah. History of over reading maybe. I don't
know. I can't get it. I've got a degree. School
of Hard Knocks? Oh, this is gonna be like 35
degrees maybe, 36 degrees. 36 degrees. And a
cute angle. And a cute angle. If you will, yeah.
Aw, he's kinda cute. He's kinda cute, okay. He's
kinda cute. All right before God this is going
right rabbit hole. How about right down the toilet?
Before we take our break We do have a while you
were sleeping and this God it could be it could
be shows It could be a youtuber could be a book
could be a movie could be anything that Kind
of flew under the radar. Maybe something we just
missed a little bit So while you were sleep,
what do we miss while we were sleeping in? Well,
I'm here to wake you up. Oh Get awoken now I
have another YouTuber for you. I've talked about
several science edutainment YouTubers before.
I believe I've talked about Michael Stevens from
Vsauce. I've talked about Veritasium. This one
is a guy named Steve Mold. He's got three and
a half million subscribers on YouTube. Fairly
popular guy, but the way he... presents his videos
are super engaging like he can take a very complex
subject and put it in layman's terms and display
it and have all these like demos to really show
what's going on so a couple of his most recent
videos here I'll run through at least the titles
and basic what goes on in them okay he's got
one called the unknown phase of matter where
he has this chamber with this stick like poly
glass so you can see through the chamber and
you put solid CO2 in it and then you close the
chamber up. So as the CO2 melts or turns into
a gas, the chamber becomes pressurized and if
you heat it up, instead of sublimating straight
from a solid to a gas, it becomes liquid CO2
and then it becomes super critical. Where it's
like. in a weird state in between being a gas
and a liquid. Super cool demo. He displays like
this slow motion video of like bone drills on
human skin and how they're actually kind of safe
or how like those cast cutting saws don't actually
saw per se, like a circular saw. They just kind
of oscillate slightly back and forth which literally
means you can put the cast cutting saw against
human skin and it does nothing. It just moves
the skin back and forth slightly. But that oscillation
is enough to cut through a cast while leaving
human skin unharmed. Oh, how interesting. So
I thought that was fascinating, too. That is
fascinating. He's got different videos on how
EpiPens work, the little chain reaction inside
the chamber. He did this display on a 200 -year
-old lighter, igniting things without a spark.
Which was kind of fascinating to see. He's got
a whole video called Why Chaotic Hoses Dance.
What? And it's about like wacky wavy inflatable
arm tube man and why he does the wacky wavy inflatable
arm tubing. Super, super engaging stuff. And
you don't even have to be like into science per
se. This dude will make you into science. Oh,
I love that. Just the way it's so engaging to
watch. So highly recommend this guy, Steve Mould.
M -O -U -L -D. If you want to look him up, it
is really engaging. That's awesome. Yeah, what
an interesting dude. Yeah, so check out that
YouTuber because we definitely slept on him.
Well, I three. And half a million people did
not. Yeah, yeah. The rest of us certainly did.
But at any rate, we're going to take a quick
break. We'll come back, finish up the show with
a beer review and the world of weirdos. All right,
we're back for the home stretch. And we cannot
do the home stretch without the official beer
review. Thank God. Yeah. How about that? What
a wonderful segment. I'm so glad we came up with
it. I am. Yeah, I really am. Because, you know,
it really offers. I'm swimming to beverage. Beverage.
And to drink it. That's what I'm saying. And
to drink it. Thanks for listening. Turkin. Turkin,
have some Turkin. Gozzle, Gozzle. Gozzle, Gozzle.
Please, by all means, use Gozzle, Gozzle. Oh
yeah, crack that one in front of your weird uncles.
They'll be like, what? What? Just be like, yo,
Gozzle, Gozzle. Gozzle, Gozzle, brother. Uncle
Shmeck, I don't know, whatever. Yeah, all your
Uncle Shmecks out there. All your Uncle Shmecks
out there. Throw that Gozzle Gozzle up. Be like,
yo, homie, you got any rat milk? Get some rat
milk with your Gozzle Gozzle this year. It's
me, Uncle Schmeckle. Oh, no. Oh, my god. All
right, Aidan. Let's get on to this beer review
before we just descend into the seventh level
of hell. The official beer review. Now, for context
sake, this segment, we sample a Brewski. We let
you know the flavor notes. We rate it zero out
of five, or on a scale from zero to five, on
the untapped app on our phone. It's not sponsored,
but we recommend it because it's free. Now, in
April of this year, we tried a beer called the
Kentucky Bourbon Barrel Imperial Milk Stout.
And we rated it very highly. So this week, we
have the Kentucky Bourbon Barrel Coco Porter.
A very fantastic beer for, I imagine it's got
wintery vibes, being a Coco Porter, usually heavy
beers like that. are wintery thank god it's not
winter yet still pretty nice out dessert beer
um yeah yeah i would agree dessert beer it is
an imperial porter eight percent abv ah let's
go so uh we got that going for us it is from
the lexington brewing and distilling company
uh regional brewery out of lexington kentucky
of course their style guide they claim the kentucky
bourbon barrel cocoa porter is brewed with cocoa
nibs hundred percent barrel aged to build out
a rich, full -bodied porter. Notes of bittersweet
chocolate, roasted malt, oak, vanilla, blah,
blah, blah. We'll be the judge of that, you freaks.
That's right. Ranking a scale from a zero to
five. And of course, we'll let you know what
we think about it. We're drinking it out of a
wonderful bottle today. Indeed we are. A sludger
to you all. Oh. My goodness sake. Oh. Oh, wow.
That is so smooth. Was not expecting it to be
that smooth. That's so smooth and like usually
porters have that Like that roasty like big punch
in the mouth like I'm a porter this one's so
subtle or sometimes where you get like that coffee
or chocolate finish Sometimes it could be a little
better at the end like almost an acrid bitterness.
Yeah, right not here This is so smooth very approachable
A, I wouldn't have told you it's 8%. That's surprising
to me. Oh, yeah. And the fact it's so smooth.
This is fantastic. It's almost light -bodied
for a heavy pour. Isn't that weird? Yeah. Yeah.
So, very surprising. The cocoa note's great,
though. Oh, isn't it? Mm -hmm. Because sometimes
you get beers that advertise, like, a certain
flavor, certain notes or whatever, and you try
it, and you're like, mm, I didn't get that. Now
could you have that batch? You never know. You
probably have to try a couple just to be like,
oh, there it is Yeah, but this no you definitely
get it and I noticed too sometimes when it comes
to Drinkifying chocolate or cocoa a lot of times
these these types of beverages will end up tasting
like Hershey's syrup like that's the short flavor
that ends up in this not this this is like cocoa
nib like true chocolatey Like, almost hot chocolatey,
in a way. Yes. Exactly. That's so fascinatingly
tasty. Wow. This makes me happy. Yeah. Now, to
be fair, these Kentucky bourbon barrel -age products,
first of all, not sponsored. Secondly, they are
very expensive. I believe a four -pack of 12
-ounce bottles is something like $16. Ooh, buddy.
So this is not something you're gonna stock your
fridge with, but... as a dessert beer to enjoy
per se on a podcast, fantastic. Yeah, it's worth
it. Fantastic. I'm gonna rate this pretty high,
I think. I think I am as well. Yeah. I really
did enjoy it. And it's funny because I look at
the flavor profiles on the app, as smooth as
the second one. And it's like they nailed it.
Yeah, they always give five suggested flavor
profile notes. That you can or cannot agree with
sure that the five they suggest are chocolate
smooth dark boozy and warm I'll say chocolate
and smooth. I guess dark is more of a visual
adjective Than than a tasting note, but that
is yeah, let's go chocolate and smooth. I put
cocoa as well. I got cocoa in there Wow, that
is really nice. That is really nice. I uh I'll
go, I'll go high. This is gonna be, this will
be in the elite tier. I think so. From me. I'm
going 425 out of five. Oh buddy. I'm giving it
four and a quarter. I really like this. I also
have graded it 4 .25. Four and a quarter, nice.
I think it is high end for sure. No doubt. I
know we usually don't rate too many in the fours.
Maybe it makes us beer snobs or maybe we're just
trying to... you know, maintain a certain credibility
as a beer reviewer, but Kentucky Bourbon Barrel
Cocoa Porter, that's fantastic. It is really
wonderful. And like, you were spot on with like
a lot of these porters, when they say chocolate
or suggest chocolate, like coffee creeps in there.
It does. But this is so, like there's no bitterness,
there's no like porter roastiness that's getting
in the way of it just being like. Slap in the
face. It's cocoa. Yeah. Oh, yeah, and it's got
sweetness, but it's not like cloyingly Sweet,
you know, right? Oh, yeah, it is not overdue
the the sugar in there. Oh, no doubt Man, what
a fantastic beer. Oh, yeah quite bueno Yeah,
well, hopefully you can find this in a liquor
store grocery store by you because this is really
great And I think it is kind of perfect For the
holidays. Yeah as a as a dessert beer kind of
one heaven Just later in the evening chill and
watching a game or a movie and I think you know
I think you guys would enjoy it. Yeah for sure
Hmm not sponsored, but definitely recommended
for sure all right, so This brings us to the
last segment of our show world of weird news
and I don't know about you. I have a gem It's
a good one. It's a gem It's a thing. Yeah But
I will I will let you go first find sure certainly
I found another one of these crazy stories out
of America's Funniest little place. Oh, yeah
from WFTV 9 Florida woman waves loaded gun at
McDonald's drive -thru over free cookie Okay,
because of course they did So this was a story
from February of 2023. Out of El Monte, Altamonte
Springs, Florida. A Florida woman is accused
of waving a loaded pistol at a McDonald's drive
-thru because she did not receive a free cookie,
according to the arrest affidavit. Amari Hendrix,
24 years old, out of Altamonte Springs, was arrested
Friday and charged with aggravated assault with
a deadly weapon without intent to kill, improper
exhibit of a firearm, battery -causing bodily
harm, and resisting an officer without violence.
So, lot of charges. Yeah. Over a free cookie.
Over a free cookie. Hendrix allegedly confronted
a McDonald's employee at the drive -thru of the
Altamonte Springs fast food restaurant. just
before midnight on Thursday, asserting she was
entitled to a free cookie because the employee
did not ask her about the franchise's rewards
program. The restaurant manager came to the drive
-thru window and gave her the free cookie. She
then, quote, continued to argue. The manager
told police Hendrix then grabbed a black handgun,
inserted a magazine into the weapon, and racked
the slide. Wow. This was after getting handed
the free cookie, by the way. That's insane. Police
said Hendrix then parked her blue Chevrolet near
the front door of the McDonald's and allegedly
attempted to enter the restaurant. Another employee
attempted to lock the front door, but did not
get there in time, allowing Hendrix to access.
Hendrix allegedly grabbed the employee by his
arm and began striking him outside of the restaurant.
Oh no. According to the affidavit, the man suffered,
quote, multiple scratches. When police arrived,
she refused to obey an officer's order to exit
the vehicle. She did have a legal permit to carry
the weapon, although pointing it at the employees
was not necessarily within the law, which is
part of the problem. That is a problem. While
she did initially deny waving the weapon at the
drive -through, video surveillance, of course,
confirmed otherwise. She was arrested and booked,
making her first court appearance on the following
Friday. Wow. That's hilarious. Demands free cookie,
gets free cookie, commits like ten crimes. Yeah.
That checks out. I've been there myself. Sometimes
you just gotta show them that you are the girl
boss, you know? Indeed. You can't gatekeep my
free cookie. No, you cannot. Alright, so my story...
takes place in Baltimore. God bless Baltimore.
And, oh yeah, so this title of this is, Blood
Soaked Man Destructively Explaining Guar to Traffic
Cop. Local metalhead Matt Franklin attempted
to convince a police officer that the blood and
bodily fluids covering his body were due to the
fact he was returning home from a particularly
messy guar show. What? Okay, well for those that
don't know, Guar is a metal band. They dress
in these disgusting like monster type outfits,
whatever, and play this really heavy metal music.
They spray this fake blood on the crowd. They
throw raw meat into the crowd. They like, they're
insane. I think they, at this riot fest thing
in Chicago, they had this epitaph of of trump
and he took a chainsaw and cut his head off and
there was all this fake blood that just sprayed
all over the ground and they're insane without
question so back to the story this is quote okay
i know how this looks but hear me out Hear me
out. All this red stuff is not my victim's blood,
but rather that of a confederate soldier reanimated
by the band of interplanetary barbarians known
as goire. pleaded an uneasy Franklin. That's
awesome. So long story short, this group of good
for nothing scum dogs was sent by the master
billions of years ago to conquer Earth. But they
got frozen in Antarctica, addicted to crack and
distracted by rock and roll. And they did. And
tonight they brought Vladimir Putin out on stage
because he's stealing their job of killing innocents.
and ripped the skin off his face, which completely
covered me in blood. So as you can see, this
is all a big misunderstanding. That's awesome.
Officer Dale Fosch, who stopped Franklin for
a broken tail light, was visibly stunned by the
explanation of intergalactic conquerors, which
led to the man getting covered in alien semen
and viscera. Well, he claimed some kind of monster
with four penises or enjoyed himself all over
a room full of people Has said a skeptical Foch
And that a character named ballsack Fed several
whores to a world maggot I figured it was best
if I took him back to the station to sober up
from whatever substance he was on and check if
there were any missing persons reported tonight.
You'd be surprised how often I get these nutcases
and how often they're blasting terrible music
when I pull them over. Was enraged by Franklin's
choice to submit so easily to a flimsy human
cop She should be one of our human slaves is
apparently taken by a scum sucking member of
the earth police Well, why didn't he just kill
the cop and get on with it? Cried the incredulous
blow far that's what blow far. I I mean would
have done I mean blow far not for me personally
in in case this is on the record. But regardless,
this man is a pansy and a coward and we do not
forgive him his transgression. Franklin was last
spotted attempting to explain the lifetimes and
crimes of Odoris Ungaris to an exhausted lieutenant
of the police department before committed to
a local hospital for mandatory 72 hour psychiatric
hold. Oh my God. That's crazy. The shit that
happens when you listen to Guar, man. That's
crazy. If I'm that dude, first of all, I'd lawyer
up immediately. Oh, yeah. Yo, they did all this
crazy shit to me just because I was explaining
a band. Like, I thought it was a bit. And then
maybe get a payout or something. But that's also
like read the room, maybe, and just be like,
OK, they're not playing with this. Like, no,
I got covered at a concert. Right. I'll fix my
tail light, I'm sorry. Also, don't go to the
Gwar show with a broken tail light. It's a bad
move. Not that an Uber would let you in if you
were covered in viscera. Maybe hoof it? Maybe
hoof it? I don't know. There's no good advice.
Did he clean his car afterwards? I wouldn't step
in my car if I were covered in alien semen. No.
I think. If you're going to a Gwar show, I number
one if you're sitting anywhere near the front
as an experienced concert goer and knowing who
guar is yeah you wear either got a poncho right
poncho or a plastic bag or some shit over you
just yeah like a smock like throwaway clothes
yeah that's what you do number two Throw a bunch
of like old -ass towels in the back of your trunk.
Oh, yeah So when you come out, you can wipe your
face and your hands or whatever else you got
to wipe Before getting in right? Now this thing
I help you the cops over your trunk and see a
bunch of bloody towels. They're gonna be like,
oh my god However It would probably help your
case a little bit. Yeah. It also maybe didn't
help his case that he opened up with saying,
no, this isn't the blood of my victim. Hear me
out. If I'm the cop, I also may be taken aback.
I'll be fair. Just a little bit. I'll be fair.
However, if I were the cop knowing who Guar is,
I think I'd have left my ass off. Oh, yeah. Or
unless, and even if you don't know, you could
do like a little. Quick phone research. Guar.
Oh, okay, I get it. Look at these guys. Yeah,
I get it now. Uh huh. Oh, yeah. Stay away from
the alien semen and fix that tail light. And
fix that tail light. Have a good night. Yeah,
just be like, I want no part of this guy. But
the funny thing is like they submitted him for
psychiatric eval. It's like he just went to a
concert, man. Right. They're going to be like,
why is this guy here? Yeah, I definitely. You're
like a weird man. Yeah, I definitely lawyer up.
Like, you fucking chose sent me in there for
three days. My job is pissed at me. Right. Yeah.
I wonder what his job is. Right. Cleaning up
alien semen, of course. I'm a looker. Yeah, right.
That checks out. This band just really speaks
to my soul. I know, right? That's awesome. But
at any rate, ladies and gentlemen, that concludes
our show for this week. We'll probably not have
a show next week because it is technically the
Thanksgiving holiday. I think Aiden will be traveling
around a little bit, and Lord knows what I'll
be doing. Just fucking passed out somewhere,
hopefully. That would be... Just wake up in an
alley somewhere. I'll be meditating for days.
Yeah. That's the plan. That is definitely the
plan. But whatever you do, be safe. Travel safe.
You know, just travel by plane. It's safe. Yeah.
Do not travel by motorcycle. Not safe. And just
have a good time. Watch some football, eat some
food, get fat, get drunk. Have a good time. Yeah.
It's safer to hang glide than it is to climb
Mount Everest on that final push. That's fair.
So don't, no mountain climbing. Maybe hang glide
to Thanksgiving instead of mountain climbing
to it. That's fair. I would say. That's a fair
comment. It's what I hear. That's good advice.
Yeah, I would say. Really, that's excellent advice.
Or commercially fly into your It's the safest
way to get there. No, it's what they say. No.
Well, I know some people tried to commercially
fly in the new. No, no, no, no, no, not going
to do that. Because then we're going to be like
too soon. Anyway, we were just trying to say,
listen, they're not going to censor us. We can't
get canceled. Because I'll fix it in post. Ah,
sure. Even though 9 .11 is hilarious. That shit
went boom and people laughed. Can you believe
it? Building 7, oopsie. How did that happen?
Oh, no. Think of all the important Lehman Brothers
files that were in there that are burned up now.
I know, right? I know, right? Oopsie. Oopsie.
Oh my god. That has to be one of the funniest
days in history. Funny, funny days. Funny, funny
days. One of my favorite Norm MacDonald bits.
Rest his soul. You can find it online. He just
cracked himself up. It was mid -conversation,
out of context, and Norm MacDonald just looks
to the person next to him on the couch and he
goes, 9 -11. And then he just breaks out laughing.
I don't think that's so, there's something so
human about laughing about tragedy, you know?
It's so dark. It's so, I mean it's Norm MacDonald,
come on. It's Norm MacDonald, it's Norm MacDonald
and I don't know, I'm a big fan of dark comedy.
Yeah. So, that's great. So funny. But at any
rate, ladies and gentlemen, have a great Thanksgiving
and we'll catch you, if not next week, it might
be, I might put together. a fireside chat for
next week. But of course, just keep an eye on
the socials. We'll let you know. Aside from that,
I think we'll probably skip next week and then
we'll see you the following week as we approach
Christmas, Hanukkah, all that kind of end of
the year holiday goodness. Be safe, have fun,
enjoy your stuffing slash dressing. That's right.
Whatever you call it. Whatever you call it. And
hey, have a shot of rat milk for me. All the
boys out there, you better be buying them rat
milk gallons, bro. That's right. Because I'll
get to them and then you'll have none left. There
better be some in the fridge when I get there.
Yeah. There's schlorpin' rat milk. Fuck the eggnog.
Fuck the eggnog. You got any rat milk? Yeah.
Later.