Hello everybody and welcome to season 4 episode
3 of the Mark Mo Show. Today's show is titled
Bring in the Clowns. And interestingly enough,
we're not talking about politics, although we
could be. Hurry, with your red nose. Stupid.
Welcome to Congress. Not that we work. Right,
exactly. So anyway, how you doing, everybody?
I am your host, Mark Maloney. And you can find
us on podcast platforms, all of them actually,
YouTube. And I'd like to introduce my co -host,
producer. All around super good dude, Aidan Maloney.
How are you, man? Ah, a bit under the weather.
Not quite 100%. I'm hoping my voice holds up
for these 90 or so minutes that we are live with
you lovely listeners. But, you know, it's just
one of those things. Changing of the seasons.
We're kind of into fall now, for sure. Here in
the next week or so. We're going to fall back
an hour, extra hour of sleep. It's going to be
beautiful. Yes. Very excited for that. Monday,
which is the only Monday I'm excited for. I guess
except for the Mondays we get off, like Labor
Day, Memorial Day. Yeah, that's about right.
Those are the three Mondays, Labor Day, Memorial
Day, and the Sunday where you get an extra hour
of sleep. Yeah, right. That's pretty much it.
That is about it. It is the changing of the seasons
and colds and flus are going around, so whatever
this bug is, it's not bad yet. I'm hoping it
stays that way. But it's definitely affecting
my voice and just little aches and pains. Which
is less than pleasant. But it is good to be on
air. Off air? On air? It's good to be on podcasts.
There you go. I like that. On this beautiful
Saturday. That's all radio talk there for ya?
Yeah. Old habits die hard. They certainly do.
At any rate, yeah, I'm quite sore myself. I started
this new gig. He's a gigging man. Yeah, maybe
that's just the way things are going to roll.
But at any rate, yeah, I was not prepared. And
not to say that I'm unprepared for various jobs
and things. That's not quite the way I was going.
I was not physically prepared for what was to
come. It's a highly physical type of position.
There's only so much caffeine you can cram into
one into one circulatory system. Oh, yeah. And
it's just it's a lot. And, you know, that first
day I'm weak in the knees and and we have to
move these couches out of this area we're going
to be doing work. And they're old. So it's like,
oh, we're going to pitch them, throw in the box
truck. Cool. We can do that. And I had this one
guy with me strong as heck. Thank God. And we
had to take this convoluted route. to put these
things in the box truck because she didn't want
us going across her front yard because there's
a septic tank. Why would that? Bro, it's buried.
What are you worried about? What are we worried
about? I agree. You're going to drop the couch
through five feet of soil. I just know it. That's
it. Yeah. Okay, ma 'am. At any rate, we had to
move these things through the back portion of
the home uphill. Two of the three couches are
sofa beds. Classy. I just like, we'd go 10 feet.
I'm like, I gotta stop. Go 15 feet? Yep, gotta
stop. I'm just like, I'm sorry, dude. I'm like,
it's just, you know, my legs are sitting there
buckling. I don't know if I have full -on carpal
tunnel. I have one bad wrist, because I hit my
hand on something stupid a couple years ago.
So I really kind of jacked that wrist up quite
a bit. That's the throwing hand, too. And that's
the throwing hand. By the way, I can still throw
50. At any rate, that kind of screwed that up
a little bit. But now the left one is the same
way, so I have these braces on my hands and my
wrists. Like I'd pick it up and we'd start moving
a few bit and you know a few feet and all of
a sudden It's like boom boom both of them just
like screaming. I'm like us. It's not gonna be
good You know so we had like had to keep stopping
and then finally there was one couch that didn't
have the sofa bed dude literally put it on his
back and I was like whoa damn like that is impressive
my man built different He's built different like
it looks like he lives in the gym Good for him.
Good for you. Yeah, I've had a desk job for 25
years. Yeah. This is a bit of an adjustment.
Even lifting kegs and cases at my job, I still
look like a regular dude. Yeah. It takes real
chops and dedication to actually get a physique
like that. Oh, it really does. It really does.
So it's just like, there are just things. that
I can't lift, or it's just I can carry them for
shorter distances. Like if we were taking it
out of a garage and into the truck, could have
done that. You know, flat surface could have
gone further with it, I'm sure, but it just beat
my ass. Like it got bruises on both arms. It's
just, it's insane. And then, you know, then just
like various other jobs and things like that
that are just kind of highly physical. And so
it just whooped my ass this week. Absolutely
crushed it. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm, even today I'm
feeling it. That's honestly how I felt my first
week. Where I currently work, I started on second
shift in the warehouse. I was picking and building
pallets and everything like that. And that was
coming from a retail job at a bakery. Yeah. So
I was not physically fit. just a skinny dude,
maybe a little bit too much doughnut weight on
me, but we were selling doughnuts, so that's
what I ate. That's right, correct. And that first
week of warehouse work, same exact thing, it
kicked my ass, I'm like, holy fuck, I'm out of
shape. Oh yeah. My god. Yeah, it gets you, it
gets you pretty good, especially when you've
been doing desk stuff for a while. That transition.
Is a bit of a transition and just that first
day having to move those heavy couches like one
of my friends was like Well, they certainly three
into that deep end first day. I'm like, yeah,
you know, it's like it was it was just not prepared
and my body hated me later For certain but at
any rate, hey, I got some work and I'll have
some money coming in. So I'm not Not gonna complain
that much. So we like to hear yeah where we're
just gonna we're as they say in the biz We're
just gonna roll with it Gotta let him cook. Gotta
let him cook, that's right. Anyway, once again
I want to talk about Aiden. He's got his own
YouTube gaming channel called Aiden Spelled the
Right Way. He has PC gaming content like GeoGuessr
and PolyBridge, Observation Duty, and more each
and every week. Lately he's been doing a bunch
of these horror games, which because of this
new job I'm a little bit behind in watching,
but they're really great. and I'll let Aidan
talk more about it. Yeah, it is a fantastic time
of year for horror games, horror movies, all
of the horror wonderness, because it's spooky
season. Halloween is coming up here soon, very
excited. Of course, your birthday is coming up
here soon as they fall a couple days apart from
each other. My birthday? Yeah. You. Turning the
big 4 -0. Yes, 40. I am 40. Ladies, I'm 40. So
it's been really fantastic. I love horror games.
Like getting scared is something that I haven't
had happen a lot recently watching horror movies.
There's like suspenseful parts and sometimes
they'll get a jump scare in there and I'm like,
hi, you got me. But there's something more immersive
about playing a horror video game where like
I'm the main character. I'm the guy. doing the
stuff and I'm getting scared. It's much more
immersive in my opinion and being able to share
that on YouTube where people can either A. get
scared with me or B. clown on me because I got
scared. Either way, super fun. So yeah, check
me out if you're into that kind of stuff. And
of course, once spooky season is over, there
will still be horror games, but you'll also get
some regularly scheduled content, PolyBridge
and other kind of less spooky games. Most definitely.
And we also have kind of a collab that we do.
Obviously we'll have to get some new content
up there soon, but basically it kind of takes
what we do here on the Mark Mo show, what Aidan
does on his other end with the gaming channel,
and we just do a collab. So we do some gaming
together and we try to pick games. That kind
of allow us to have that interaction That you
guys enjoy on the show and just a little bit
of improv and if we can make you giggle That's
that's the plan right that is definitely the
plan, so I'm sure we'll be getting one of those
up Hopefully soon soon. Hopefully soon. We'll
get one of those going and Also, you know what
if you like the content like subscribe share
all that kind of good stuff And by the way if
you like alternative rock and Irish punk music.
Tune into my radio show, After Hours. It's on
WVLP here in Valparaiso, Indiana. It's Tuesday
nights at 9 p .m. Central Standard Time and Friday
afternoon at 4 p .m. Central Standard Time. You
can find the stream at WVLP .org or on the TuneIn
app on your handheld device. I also hear you
can yell at Alexa. I would not recommend that
you yell at Alexa. These are strange days. And
we are closer to iRobot than I care to admit.
Right. So maybe just kindly suggest to Alexa
that she play. Right. Yeah. We all don't get
to live the through the plot devices that Will
Smith has at his expo at his at his right hand.
So we have to, you know, be a little kinder to
our AI overlords, because, hey, planet here knows
everything. And yes. You know, fuck us. Oh, yeah,
for sure. Now it is spooky season and there is
not too much that spooks this guy to my left.
Although we we rather enjoy the horror movie
genre and everything that goes with the spooky
season. Yeah. But as far as like internalized
fears. Right. There's there's something. I'm
not a fan of these. Aiden it is at the top of
his list. It's right up there like if the Taliban
is coming to his left and These are on his right.
He might go left and take a shot. I'm sprinting
to the second thought not a second thought I
know it's the ambiguity the uncanny valley of
this specific thing Uh -huh. It's not a person
You can't con - you cannot convince me of that.
That's not a person. Uh -uh. Hurry! You're a
weird ass. So, if you haven't figured it out
yet, we're talking about clowns. I hate clowns.
Now - It's right up there with like fear of heights
and claustrophobia. In fact, it might even be
in that order. Clowns, claustrophobia, then fear
of heights. Yeah. Those - those are probably
close on my list too. Yeah. For sure. You got
the sharks thing though. I got the sharks. Yeah,
so what which is it right? I mean, it's irrational.
I live in Valparaiso, Indiana It's not like a
shark is gonna come get me It's not like it's
Saturday Night Live from the 70s and Chevy Chase
is playing land shark. Yeah Special delivery
and then they open the door and land shark eats
them So it's not like any of that's gonna happen
It's not like there's a stray bull shark just
hanging out in Lake Michigan waiting for me although
it could be. That's the part of irrational fears.
They're irrational. They're irrational, exactly.
But I did live in Florida for a year, and I rarely
went in very deep, sometimes a little bit past
my knee, not often. I'm like, this is good enough
for me. I'm good. You know, oof, what was that?
And then I'm kind of doing that. The freshwater
of Lake Michigan beckoned you. Exactly. There's
no sharks here. There's no sharks here. Come
in. Yeah, I don't know what it is. But then I
learned that alligators... who for years have
been living in brackish water, which is essentially
a combination of salt and fresh water, which
you get a lot in South Florida because of the
natural flow of the rivers and floods and things
like that. The water over the years has been
very brackish. Oh, okay. So that means sharks
are getting used to thriving in brackish water,
like bull sharks, for example. A lot of times
they find them way up rivers. because that brackish
water kind of leaches his way up. As a matter
of fact, they caught a bull shark right off the
river in St. Louis once. No kidding. In the Sippy
River. Yeah, it got pretty far up there. Fascinating.
I mean, God bless that shark. I would hate to
end up in St. Louis. Oh, right. I mean, did that
shark just kind of spin up and kind of go...
Nah, that's boring. Maybe if I go far enough,
I'll get to Chicago. I'll get to Chicago. Yeah,
he wants to go to Chicago, and I mean, who doesn't,
right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. Now, yeah,
the shark thing is just a thing, and it's just
something I've had to deal with my whole life.
Mind you, Jaws is still one of my favorite movies,
but that goes without saying. But just think
of serial killers for a minute. And they're terrifying,
right? You have David Berkowitz, who is the son
of Sam. You have Unabomber. Oh, who just had
the Netflix special come out? It was Ed Gein.
Ed Gein. Ed Gein was a weird dude. He was a weird
dude. Weird dude. He was a very weird dude. And
Channing Tatum should get his flowers. Not that
this movie is stellar, but like his role, what
he put, like I've never seen him act. that way.
Yeah. I'm like, man, homie homie did did the
job. That's the same kind of feeling I got with
the whole Adam Sandler uncut gems thing is like,
oh, this dude might kind of low key have range.
Yes. Like Channing Tatum doesn't always have
to be like the himbo. Exactly. Yep. And so that
was really great for him. But the reason I bring
up the serial killers is by even David Speck,
you know, killing the nurses in Chicago and doing
stuff like I mean, there's there's a million
serial killers we could talk about. But, the
one that immediately comes to mind, especially
because it's a Chicago guy, is a guy that dressed
up as a clown. And that's John Wayne Gacy. Yeah.
Man, fuck that guy. Twice over. Right. And the
thing is, he looks like your next door neighbor.
If you're a Chicagoan, okay? John Wayne Gacy
looks like every other dude in your neighborhood
that cheesy beef guy stop area about those bears.
Yeah, they're really great. Oh Young kid with
me. Nah. Nah, you didn't see you got a missing
son. I don't know anything about that I don't
know anything about that. You might want to check
down with Jimmy down the street and God bless
I'm gonna go get a cheesy beef. I'm gonna go
get a cheesy beef. I'm gonna go get an old -style
down at the bar in the corner that's just called
Old Style. So, but that's the most terrifying
thing is like, okay, and what do you do as a
hobby? Oh, on weekends I dress up as a clown.
Yeah, no, that's a no from me, Simon. That is
very bad, very bad. So he's just like, that right
there. As a kid, because I was a kid during this
whole thing. Oh, yeah. Yeah, as a kid. That's
wild. I could have been in his crawl space, man.
Don't we all want to be. Don't we all want to
be. I mean, sign me up. Think of the stories
you could have told. Right. I mean, in my next
life. Yeah, right. So just think about that,
though. I know. I don't think I want to. Yeah.
You're like, actually, I'm done thinking about
that. It's funny when it's you in the crawl space,
when it's me. Oh, no. Big cheesy beef dressing
up as a clown for a party. And the thing is,
it's like, he doesn't look like Bozo, right?
It's not that. It's just this poorly painted
on face, and it's just creepy as hell. The photos
out there still exist. They exist. They are there.
There's proof that this dude did that, and it
is just really bad. I don't know. Here's this.
I grew up on the south side of Chicago. So even
though I prefer the Chicago Cubs in cheer form,
I don't hate the White Sox, I just don't care
about them. But because a lot of my friends did,
and their parents always get tickets, you want
to go to the game. Of course I want to go to
the game. It's baseball. Yeah, let's go. So I'd
always go to the game. Now, most teams have mascots,
right? Cubs. They have whatever his little name
is. The guy. The guy. But he's a bear. He's a
cub. You can kind of see what that is. It fits
the theme. For the White Sox, what are you gonna
do? Just have, like, a guy walk around carrying
some Lee's, you know, knee -high socks? Right.
There's, like, really nothing they can do. So
for years, they just had these bizarre little
things. Ribby and rhubarb were, like, these two
mascots they used to have. And these inhuman,
fluffy things that used to just wander around.
You'd say whatever. But they also had another
mascot. I swear to God this guy was not on the
mascot roster, he just showed up to games. Andy
the Clown. Do yourself a favor, unless you're
terrified of clowns, maybe not. Google Andy the
Clown White Sox. Check that thing out. Terrifying.
That's up to you, lovely listeners. Terrifying.
I'll pass on this task. And I mean, even as I
get to be an older kid, you know, 10, 11, 12,
and Andy's making his way through the crowd,
and I would wait until he'd get ready to go to
the section. I'd be like, oh yeah, I gotta go
to the bathroom. Anybody want to coke? Anybody
need anything? You got someone coming in midway?
I can pick them up. I'm just ready to bolt. I'm
like, I will be better. Missing anything? It's
okay, no problem. And we would just bolt and
just get the hell out of there. But this is clowns,
man. But there's people obsessed with the clown
culture, and I don't know why. I'm not sure I
understand the obsession of the clown culture.
So there is this place in Nevada, and there is,
it's this property. and I'll discuss the entirety
of the property here in a second, but this flashing
bull mark key out front, the Clown Motel. No,
sir, n -n -n -no. Collection of more than 2 ,000
clown figurines, 2 ,000 from all corners of the
globe, and started in 1985 with Leona and Leroy
David. Damn both of you. Build this motel in
memory of their father, Clarence David, a clown
lover who left a collection of 150 clowns in
his home. The David siblings decided to use them
as the theme and focal point of their motel in
the memory of their father. Now that on the surface,
very kind, very sweet. Okay, fine. But it's still
clowns. Right. Guests come face -to -face with
thousands of clowns adorning the shelves of the
motel lobby at check -in. At check -in. At check
-in. And all 31 rooms feature two to three custom
clown art pieces. If you're looking for a possible
otherworldly experience, consider requesting
a stay in rooms 108, 111, 210, or 214. Spirited
or not, Any room you book will come complete
with a TV fridge microwave and AC heat. Whoop
-de -freaking -doo! Not sponsored, and I don't
want them to be. No, no. So the Clown Motel is
situated directly next to the historic Old Tonopah
Cemetery. where the clowns put their victims
after you check into the hotel. Exactly. Method
to their madness. Like, Gacy probably would have
loved that setup. Right. Think of how much we
could expedite this. The logistic savings. I
know, right? Exactly. So this cemetery entombing
many of the Tonopah's earliest silver mine workers
who died tragic mining accidents, the Belmont
mine fire of 1911, along with its obvious clown
theme, the clown motel has been named America's
scariest motel due to its proximity to the Tonopah
cemetery grounds and featured on Travel Channel's
Ghost Adventures, which I've seen. Listen, big
dog. My man, it would have been the scariest
motel with or without the cemetery. There's a
thousand clowns when you walk in the door. There's
clowns everywhere. You had the cemetery and the
hauntings now all of a sudden it's like the universe's
scariest motel. Uh -huh. There's a reason alien
haven't visited this place. Yeah, we got the
clown motel right exactly and and they and you
know, this is Nevada, right? So that's like the
it's where they say UFOs visit Area 51 guarantee
you man. They went over there and they saw that
they're probably like Let's leave this place
looks shitty. Hey clog nor do you want to travel
to earth? No, you've got the clown motel terrified
and they just bounce I'd rather go to Mars Yes,
so that is, that is, that is, that is, man. That's
a no from me, Don. That's a no, that's a no,
but I've seen that episode and it's pretty, it's
pretty terrifying. I'm not a huge cemetery fan.
Well, I'm really not, but I mean, I'm not a cemetery
fan anyway. Funny story, I learned how to drive
in a cemetery. It was a local cemetery and my
mom would take me there. And we would drive through
the cemetery and she would be, okay, there's
a stop sign here and then we're gonna make a
left. So like she created this little course
and had me drive through it and stuff and do
parking, parallel parking, whatever. Which is
kind of brilliant in a way, because there's usually
- It's smart. It's smart, you get behind the
wheel, yeah. But like her reasoning when I would
ask was pretty funny I'd be like so why are we
going to the cemetery to learn how to drive?
She's like cuz if you hit anything it's already
dead Thank you, mom. I appreciate that brain.
Oh, yeah, that's genius. Oh, yeah, that was a
confidence booster for sure But anyway, back
to our favorite hotel. Situated almost exactly
between Reno and Las Vegas. Which, mind you,
I've been in between Reno and Las Vegas. There's
nothing. That is a desolate state. Right, the
Badlands. It is the Badlands. You'll find the
Clown Motel on the north end of Tonopah, a desert
town brimming with mining history and steeped
in stories. Free Wi -Fi! Woohoo! And complimentary
lobby coffee are offered at the Clown Motel,
as are barbecue grills you can use on your patio.
Pets are welcome. So, yeah, if you got your cat,
bring your cat. Your cat will probably flip out
all night long. The place has a habit of booking
up more often than not, so be sure to secure
your reservation before you just hit the road.
Oh great. I'll take that piece of advice. Yeah.
For a welcoming night's stay paired with a proper
dose of Weird Nevada, make sure to visit the
Clown Hotel as part of your next trip. So yeah,
Weird Nevada is like its own site. Nevada is
weird. It's got like lots of old mining towns,
lots of haunts. If you're into the ghost hunting
kind of thing, bring your equipment, bounce around,
check some places out. There's a lot going on
there for sure. But this clown motel, dude? No,
sir. I'll pass. Well, it's terrifying. And here's
the thing. And I don't know if I'm alone in this.
I don't think I am. But when it comes to artwork
on walls. I swear to God, portraits, I feel like
they're looking at me. Yeah. No matter where
I'm at in that room, I'm like, why does it always
look like the eyes are looking at me? And especially
with clown pictures, man. It's the worst. No.
No way. I'm like, wait a minute. Bozo just watched
me walk across a room. What are we doing here?
Right. It freaks me out. What a terrible time.
Oh, yeah. First of all, I'm sure you pay the
clown motel to be there. They would have to pay
me to be there, and it would be a large sum.
Mm -hmm. I'll start with that secondly Even I
don't understand how people can adore clowns
like I mean people like weird stuff. That's fine.
That's great I'm not I'm not shaming obsessions.
It's more so the fact that it fascinates me from
a scientific standpoint on how Different things
scare different people sure because usually with
the the covering of the face It falls into the
uncanny valley because of ambiguity, right? And
that's exactly why clowns terrify me, right?
But then, like, why do I... Some people like
that? What do we do? How? Right. How? I don't
get it. I don't get it either, and it's funny
you bring that up. Because just the other day,
I... God, it wasn't TikTok. I must have caught
it on either Facebook or Instagram. But anyway,
is this real? And it was from the Maury Povich
show. And this woman comes out and she's like
sobbing and she really looks scared. And he's
talking to her about her irrational fear of olives.
I kid you not. And this woman's like, and like
her voice is trembling and she's like sobbing.
And he's like, well, and he's kind of being a
smart ass about it. He's like, well, is it just
the green ones? Or is it the black ones too?
Like he's asking these probing questions of her
Firo olives. And then like out of the blue, he
like asks the question. He's like, oh, well,
do you don't have to worry about the olives and
this and that. And he's like, bring out the olives.
This guy's got this massive jar of olives and
chicas like this. I can't scream I can't replicate
the sound that came out of it. It's like It's
just like this guttural like half yell half like
she wants to vomit and she just runs Off the
stage down the hallway at that point. You're
not a human being your cortisol with legs. That's
it You're so filled of of adrenaline and cortisol.
It's like Oh, yeah that she took off and I was
like laughing so hard and I immediately thought
of aid and I'm like, yeah I wonder I wonder if
we like brought a clown out from somewhere Yeah,
like and if you mix in like Put me in a tiny
little box with a window on it in closed spaces
checked off checked off You put me on the top
of a building Heights checked off checked right
below me is water I don't like drowning check
that checked off and a clown is what pushes me
to my death That would do it. That's the worst.
That's the worst way to die. I just described
it to everybody. That's the worst way to die.
Oh, yeah. You're welcome. Think about that while
you're going to sleep tonight. Yeah, I am not
a fan of the heights either. And that's like
a fear that I have in addition to sharks. And
I was in Vegas one time. And long story short,
I got this pass to go to this club, Skybar. It
lives up to its name. It's in the sky. It's 65
floors up and Inside it's great. I kept stayed
inside, but the action wasn't inside there weren't
very many people inside although I met the bartender
and she was lovely and gave me free gin and tonic
so that was great my man, but all that being
said the party's outside everybody's outside
It's a gorgeous night, and I'm sitting there
going. Oh my God If I'm gonna sit here and talk
to people or talk to pretty girls or whatever
I'm gonna have to go outside god damn it like
I'm walking towards the door and my my nether
regions are tingling and then my gut starts oh
yeah and I'm like and now my legs are like like
trembles they're colluding yeah and now they've
sent a message to my legs and my legs are like
no we're not gonna move yeah I'm like no let's
go outside my legs aren't moving I'm like standing
in the doorway I'm like man I look like an asshole
right now like I gotta do this so I just start
moving outside and The guy in the bathroom. Always
make friends with the guy in the bathroom. Not
like that. Unless you get down like that. Unless
you get down like that. What I'm saying is the
guy in the bathroom, the guy with the towelettes,
the moist towelettes, and the sprays of cologne,
and that guy. Well, mine had secret stash of
Cuban cigars. My man. So I made good friends
with him. He's giving me stogies on the cheap.
I'm like, ah, you're my guy. But I have to go
outside to smoke. So now I'm like, fuck, I really
have to go outside because I want to smoke this
Cuban and have a G &T out on 65 floors above
the strip. Mind you, this just off strip. It's
nighttime. So you can see the whole strip illuminate.
It's gorgeous. It's beautiful. You're like, God,
go outside, Maloney. So I finally did. And like
all these girls. college age in their 20s and
they're all like right on the rail like ah yolo
selfie blah blah and i'm like sitting back here
i'm like oh my god i'm 20 some odd years older
than them and i'm terrified like holy shit so
finally like it kind of died down a little bit
and i'm like okay i'm gonna walk over i'm gonna
walk over i'm gonna walk over That's what I'm
gonna do. I'm gonna look cool as fuck walking
over here. I'm sure I did not. So I had the stogie
in my mouth, my gin and tonic, and I walk over
and I put my hand on the railing. My arm is shaking.
I'm like, God damn it. I could just hear like
the scooby -doo sound effects the like bones
rattling inside your body like Yeah with the
scary scooby -doo music in the background exactly
and I'll just sit there and I'm looking whatever
and then this one woman comes over and She kind
of looks at me. I'm like, hey, how are you? And
she's like looking at me and she's like first
time I'm like, no, I've been terrified lots of
times So still a little airplane but it got it
got a giggle out of her anyway but yeah just
facing your fears but the clowns I don't have
to face just just no yeah just no I wouldn't
face them I would run away look if you have kills
right it kills if you see where my head's at
they're gonna get her he they're gonna kill you
but see what I'm saying is like if you have skills
right you're a funny guy physical comedy you
like to juggle Great. Do all that. Super cool.
Just don't wear a stupid costume and paint your
face and the nose a herky. None of that. Just
don't do it. You don't have to. Because if I'm
in a situation, it's dark, and those senses are
already heightened, and I turn a corner, and
there you are with your face painted, you're
going down hard. One of us is going down. One
of us is going down. You might be the nicest
guy in the world, but you're about to hit the
floor, I guarantee it. Yeah, it's just some dude
named Carl. Just some guy named Carl who's like,
how? What the heck, man? That wasn't very kind.
That wasn't very kind. And he presses a little
flower on his lapel and squirts water at you.
Take this seltzer. Ah. Yeah. Fuck you, Carl.
Fuck you, Carl. Carl. I had to do that. Suzu
said Carl. That kills people. Oh, my god. Any
rate, if you like clowns, well, first of all,
you've got something wrong. But if you like clowns,
go to Nevada to the Clown Motel and maybe stay
there. I mean, literally stay there. Yeah, don't
come back. We don't need your kind. We don't
need your kind. At any rate, we may do one more
spooky bit before our season is up. But at any
rate, check it out. Weird Nevada once again is
a site for all kinds of weird stuff. So if you're
into that paranormal stuff, and I am. I love
paranormal stuff. I love investigating spooky
spooks, all that kind of stuff. I love that stuff.
Clowns, no. No, no, no, no. No, I would rather
have some sort of anomaly or thing or whatever
and hear a strange noise. It's spooky, but I'm
okay with that. You're a clown? Mm -mm, mm -mm.
No, that's a no. That's a no for me. All right,
we're gonna take a quick break. We'll come back.
We'll carpe diem for you. All right, we are back
and it is time for Carp A DM here on the Mark
Mo Show. People send us their DMs and we read
them on our lovely little podcast. Well, I mean,
we might, and sometimes they're phrased in a
question and we might answer it. We could. We
could potentially answer it. We're not contractually
obligated by any stretch. And if we answer it,
we might know what we're talking about? That's
true. We could become more knowledgeable should
we be, oh, I don't know, financially bribed to
do so. Right. Like for example, I open my left
hand and there it is. It's just there. There's
nothing in it. But then this right hand. Yeah.
There might be something in it. A paper product.
Maybe a few pieces of paper. Should they have
blue strips on them? With numbers. With numbers.
Ranging between 100... And 100. And 100. There
could be multiple. There could be multiple. Of
such a note. Yes. If you will. And that would
get your question answered. On this very show.
Not necessarily correctly. But it'll get it answered.
Right. It's not a requirement. But it is heavily
favored. It is heavily favored. That is true.
Allegedly. Allegedly. So here we go with our
list of DMs. And I love this first one right
out of the gate. At Betty Bozo Lover. Oh, God.
The folks at the Clown Motel will do everything
to make your stay as comfortable as possible.
But what happens after dark with a question mark?
Well, That's out of my hands. Man, Betty, if
I can call you that, this is why I don't go to
such places. The fact that clowns are involved,
that's strike one and two and three. Right? It
needed to strike four. However, the fact that
what happens after dark is out of your hands,
will you run the hotel? Sure. Or manage it in
some way? Yeah. If I get stabbed by a clown overnight,
Do you have to really wait till the a .m. to
come fetch me? Hmm, maybe. What if I stink bad
smell rotting smell comes off me? Then people
then people be like smells like there's a clown
around here. Are he? Are he? Yeah, you would
be a bozo lover. You would be a bozo lover, no
doubt. Here's an interesting follow -up question
from me. Say you meet a one. You're very attracted
to her. She's beautiful. Smart. Funny. All that
good stuff, right? You have similar interests.
She likes sports teams that you like. All that
good stuff. But she loves clowns and she dresses
up as a clown. Interested still or not? That
is a good question. I don't know. I've never
been... Is the clown a deal breaker? I guess
not because it's just... I could simply put a
boundary in place of like, hey, you can do whatever
you want. That's totally fine. That's the freedom
of how relationships should be. You get your
time, I get me time, we get us time. Please don't
dress up as a clown around me. Don't do it. If
I set the boundary and it is respected, hey,
no problemo. Right. Hey, no problemo. I promise
not to fire guns in your direction if you promise
not to dress up as a clown. Exactly. That seems
fair. It seems, honestly, fair for her. It's
almost fair for me. Almost, almost fair for me.
That's true. At Tuffy Milk Man, would you rather
walk through the desert for a day without water
or through the snowy woods without a coat? Oof.
Oof, oof, oof. That's tough. Now, I'm thinking
logically about it. Snowy woods without a coat,
you're talking maybe frostbite, maybe hypothermia.
Sure. But it says nothing else about other preparations.
Meaning perhaps I have a backpack with a nice
blanket. You might. Maybe you're wearing layers.
Maybe I'm wearing layers. Maybe I've got like
18 t -shirts on. Well hey, I really don't need
a coat. I just put my hands underneath my 16th
t -shirt. Right. But you're talking desert without
water? You'd go two and a half days without water,
you're gonna perish. As a human being, you will
leave this realm. Yes. And that is even accelerated
through hot temperatures and sweating and excessive
breathing. That's not a risk I wanna take. Dehydration
fucks with your brain and body in crazy ways.
Just put me in the snow without a coat, I'll
find something out. Yeah, I'll find something
I could go back to caveman days and and try to
discover fire for the first time You know yep,
so put me in those snow, man. Yeah put you in
the snow, huh? Yeah, what do you what do you
think there with milk man's question? See it's
a thing see I'd like I deal better with the heat
than I do the cold and a day I almost went a
day the other day without Water or food. I can't
I really can't I might I might be able to do
it I might be able to do it. But sweltering and
sweating and there's no wind, that seems to be
tough. And once again, it seems like, just like
with the snowy woods without a coat and wearing
the layers, say a day without water, what if
I've got beer? Yeah, or tea. Or tea or something
else. But if it means without water, purely.
Right, without any liquid at all. Yeah, 99 %
of... Tea is water. You're gonna be hallucinating
by the end of the day. Yeah, 95 % of beer is
water. Yeah. Yeah, no, I can't. Can't do it?
It's all about the semantics of the words. Right.
How specific are we? Right, exactly. My first
thought was snowy, but I totally see where you're
coming from. Yep. Oh, yeah. Okay, this one...
Let's see. What does that say? Who is this guy?
What's his name? I don't know. I'm trying to...
Tell it to us! It's from... Oh, I see what it
is. Who is it? I thought it was an Eltoni. May
I Be Frank. At May I Be Frank. Is that the question?
That is his name. Oh. You can be frank with me.
You can be frank. What is the first thing you
do if you won five million dollars? God. Oh,
what a wonderful day that would be. The first
thing I would do if I won five mil. Scream, jump
up and down. I mean, I don't know. Yeah, honestly,
just maybe run around. Honestly, physically put
on a pair of shoes and run around for a little
while just to get the excitement out of me of,
holy shit, my life will be normal for the rest
of it. And by normal, I mean how it could be
for everyone. But capitalism says no. Yeah, probably
run around for a while, and then maybe hire a
financial advisor. I don't think I would blow
it all. No, I wouldn't either. I don't think
I would blow it all. I would find a way. To live
off of it. Right. Because that's, that's, I would
probably break it down like this, right? Five
mil. I would take, let's say a quarter mil. Quarter
mil for every family member. Check. Uh, maybe
my closest friends all get... you know, 100 grand.
Check. Now we're all living comfortably. Yep.
I don't know, maybe pay off the house. I'm in
desperate need of a new car, so probably a car.
Yeah. Put the rest in an account. And just draw
from it. And just draw from it. I think I would
still keep my job. Yeah. You know, because five
mil is approximately what this generation, Gen
Z, would be able to retire on, which hey, means
no retirement for any of us. But yeah, I think
I would still keep my job. I would still want
something to do. But maybe then again, I would
quit my job and focus more on podcasts and YouTube
and things you enjoy. Right. Because if you take,
let's say, two million of that goes away in between
giving it to friends and family and charitable
donations and everything like that. I have three
million dollars. You put enough of that in an
account. The interest from that should be able
to be enough to live comfortably on oh yeah and
just to be able to do the arts you know for a
living would be so nice yeah but that's long
term day one i'm getting a reach of everyone
i love and being like hey take today off it's
going to be a fucking party yes yes i i agree
with that i i agree with a lot of what you say
Being like taking care of family first and foremost,
you know, because I mean if you can't share it
What's the fun in it? You know, so you have to
be able to be willing to share some of it But
think think about the fact say say 70 grand a
year while that's not a ton of money You can
live off that especially if you're on your own
70 grand easy and then you can live comfortably
So I think like I would put it in some sort of
account and draw 70 grand a year Right over now.
I'm older than you So like say over the next
20 years and I'm pulling 70 a year That's only
1 .4 million. There's still a lot of money left
Right on top of the interest you might make of
the next decade Correct could be a hundred grand
could be several hundred grand. Yeah, and then
it's just basic upgrades of living situation
and a car and stuff like that and then just I
don't think people value their freedom as much
as they think they do. Just having that and be
able to set up some sort of an account and be
like, okay, I can live comfortably on this. I
have a place to live. I have something to drive.
I've shared with my favorite people. I'm just
going to love life. I'm gonna spend a day at
the park. I'm gonna spend days on the beach.
I'm gonna take vacations. I'm gonna, you know,
and just enjoy the hell out of it. Right. You
give 2 ,000 hours of your life every year to
a corporation. If you're a working American.
That sucks. Think of what you can do in 2 ,000
hours time. Oh my god. That freedom would be...
You can't put a price on that. Nope. You absolutely
cannot. It would be life -changing. It would
be. It would be great. Yeah. But first thing,
like first first thing, because I don't want
to get off the point, or the actual question,
I think I would go to dinner. Assuming I have
immediate access to this money. Got to Roost
Chris maybe? I would go to a steakhouse with
some potatoes and some red meat and just have
myself a time. Yeah. I think that's the first
thing I would do. Just a celebratory dinner.
Yeah. Bring me a bottle of something nice. Yeah.
A pound of cow. Yeah. some buttery potatoes and
on my way home stop at a liquor store and buy
an allocated bottle of bourbon Top -shelf shit.
Yeah, and enjoy with a stogie. There you go.
That's how you do it day one Good good question.
May I be Frank? Which I all thought it was an
L, so I was about to be like, uh, this is from
Mayel B. Frank. Mayel B. Frank. Mayel B. Frank.
It could be. I don't know. Last not least. Mayel
B. is out there like, what the? They got my name
wrong. May I be? What? He's related to Will .i
.am. Yeah. At Stoner Stanley 420. Hey, Momo and
Alan. Where am I? Oh, God. The other day I have
time to do it and then I don't. Precrastinating.
I bonged for the day and now I'm lost. I am by
a tree. Some water and a weird looking van help
for me. Now hang on. He accidentally found his
way home. He's home but he's lost. He must be
on that sativa shit. He's got that goofy that
goofy loopy strain. Yes. He does I think it's
hilarious as soon as he started describing him
like wait a minute I think he's on that salvia
type shit. Yeah. Oh, yeah for sure homies got
the goo Stanley we love you Stanley be safe.
Yeah, be safe out there just Walk in the van,
I'm sure it's probably yours, and if it's not,
you might meet some friends. Sure. You could
meet some enemies. You could share whatever it
is you have, or maybe not. Yeah, exactly. Unless
you smoked it all, in which case you could find
a new provider. Provider, indeed. Yes, that would
be the plan. That's my last one. Alright, I got
some here. One from Evil Genie, our boy. I'll
give you one million dollars to move out of your
country. Here's the catch. You must move to a
country that starts with the same letter as your
name. Do you accept and where are you off to?
Oh boy. Now million dollars is plenty of money
to move and get settled down and enter the workforce
of wherever I would be going to. Now Aiden, my
name, starts with A. You've got some choices.
I've got some good choices. Albania, Algeria,
um... You've got you do a certain accent Australia
or I can't Go to Australia go to go to the Aussies
Argentina Austria Yeah, I mean they're good Australia
is tempting because I I mean that English is
the only language I know fluently so that would
be helpful I've heard Argentina is beautiful.
I've heard there's parts of South America that
are absolutely gorgeous, but Australia just sounds
wonderful. It's warm. It's hot. But I mean, it's
Australia. So right. They got that. They got
that Victoria beer down there. The VB. Oh, yeah,
that was good. I got that fosters. Yeah. Yeah.
Australia is a good choice. And you know what?
I'll take the Milly. I'll go to Australia. Yeah,
come in. Evil Genie. You've got me. That's not
even evil. No. You're a little tighter with the
letter. I've got a problem. I've got a problem.
Well, you know, I've got a problem, and I don't.
I'm taking the million, I'm going to the moon.
I don't even think a space suit costs multiple
millions of dollars. That's probably a loss.
That's troubling. Yeah, it would be troubling.
No, I don't have many good choices. Morocco.
Morocco, Malaysia. Macedonia, although it's called
North Macedonia. And it used to be part of Greece,
so. Yeah, there is no South Macedonia, I believe.
Oh boy. Yeah, that's tough. Myanmar, yeah. Myanmar,
sure. Yeah, that's... Mongolia. Yeah, I mean
nothing says you can't travel once you move somewhere.
Right. You know. So even if you went to Malaysia,
I mean, you're amongst the islands, right? And
we've had listeners in Malaysia. Yeah, we've
had listeners in Malaysia. It looks beautiful
out there. I mean, I don't know much about the
socioeconomic issues of that region, and I'm
sure there are some. but it looks beautiful you're
in the islands for fuck's sake yeah exactly just
buy a boat fuck i'll live in the water right
i wish i wish curacao was mirrors right yeah
that send us your blue carousel please oh i know
right yeah the source that would be no wait my
brain my brain is telling me that there's an
island in the caribbean that begins with an m
Oh, really? I swear there is. You're going to
Google Earth it? Yeah, there's got, I know for
a fact, like Montserrat or something like that.
Oh. Oh, god. What is it? I don't know. You guys
out there in the world probably. There it is.
I was correct. Montserrat. How about that? Montserrat.
It's right near St. Kitts and Nevis. Oh, yeah.
Antigua, Guadalupe. The British Virgin Islands.
But is that a country? Or is that a territory
of the British Virgin Islands? I disagree. It's
a country. It's a country for my purposes. And
on it, there is a Montserrat Volcano Observatory.
Sounds beautiful. That sounds amazing. It's not
a very big island. Oh, check that out. We're
pulling up photos of Montserrat. You'll have
to look up Montserrat Volcano Observatory on
your telephone. It looks gorgeous. That's where
I'm going. As lush with greenery. I'm going with
Montserrat. And hey, if I perish by a lava flow,
it's life. Count me in. It's like, count me in.
As long as there's no clowns on that island,
I am good to go. God, is it gorgeous. Yeah, I'm
going. There we go. I got my pick. Montserrat.
Montserrat. Check. Good question. Yeah, I would
agree. Next DM I got here was from Mr. Gamblebot.
Mr. Gamblebot. Mr. Gamblebot. It costs $20 for
one dart to throw at my board. Bullseye, you
win $1 ,000. Anything else, you lose. Do you
play? How many times do you play? How much is
a dart? 20 bones. Well, I've been playing a lot
of darts lately and as a matter of fact got your
skills honed in it was well I here's the funny
thing I go to a bar locally here. It's called
Franklin house. It's kind of our spot and I go
to play darts and I throw a dart Like my hand
is attached to my ear I just like I just like
almost like I don't know how to play darts But
then I go to this place called Zombie Club in
Crown Point, which is like a couple of towns
over And I play darts like a professional, and
I'm like, I don't understand any of this. Home
field advantage. The last time, it was this girl's
birthday. Cast, what's up, if you're listening?
Probably not, but anyway. God bless. Happy birthday.
And so we're there. Oh god, there's maybe eight
or nine of us. And we literally. My friend Jess
and I, we literally had our own game of darts
going, and they roped us into their game of darts.
So literally we're throwing, hopping over, throwing,
hopping over, it was hilarious. And I won like
three out of four or something, or three out
of five or whatever it was. And I just, I couldn't
miss. I was just like hitting everything I had
to hit. So all that being said, I'm gonna buy
five darts. Buy five? I think. A 20 % chance
of hitting that bull, I like my shot. I like
my chances. Yeah. Because, right, it is 50 to
one, right? The odds, necessarily. If you hit
one in 100 bullseyes. I don't know. I haven't
played, like I feel like I would have the dexterity
and ability to hit the bullseye. But in practice,
I haven't played darts in years. Yeah. So, I'm
not sure. I might buy a dart. I'll give it a
shot. Hey 20 bones for a fun little thing whatever
you know if I win great if I lose that's 20 bones
whatever I'll buy a dart I mean I know there
are some gamblers out there like oh you could
buy 49 darts and probably get at least one well
hey great you won $20 cool cool you're awesome
yeah yeah I've read 99 % of gamblers quit before
their big win yep That's a lie by the way. We
do not advocate why we don't advocate that do
not do that Don't follow this advice. I might
buy a dart, but I I don't know gambling's not
my forte and darts. I don't play enough Gambling
is mine although. I really don't do it a lot
because well it takes money to write to do that
But do I enjoy doing it if I had a couple of
20s and go play some slots for a little bit Yes,
it's fun even more fun than that, like the sports
gambling, because at least with that you have
some sort of skill set where you know. You know
the games, you know the teams, whatever, and
you can look at a point spread over under, all
that kind of stuff, and be like, ooh, I like
that, I like that, I like that, put yourself
a little parlay together, win a little bit of
money. And a lot of times with the parlays, you
don't have to have a huge investment. No, you
put five bucks in, and the potential is like
$80. But the potential, right, exactly. If somebody's
like, hey, you can put five bucks in and win
$80 if your parlay hits, low -risk high reward.
That's how you want to do it. So yeah, that's
all fun. But the dart one, yeah, that's, I don't
know. Yeah, especially with you with the practice.
I might give it a shot. Putting a hungee in,
five darts, five practices. I think it's worth
a shot. Yep, it's worth a shot. Final DM I received.
Crippy Guru. Crip. Would you risk an iRobot type
situation if it meant no more housework, no more
chores, no more running errands because a robot
would be doing them? Or is it not worth the risk?
Ooh. That's a good question. Yeah. Especially
based on just everything going on in the world
right now. And it's kind of interesting too because
we already have... Like we already have chatbots,
like if you've got a Google Home or an Alexa
or whatever, you already have a personal assistant
in your house. Yes. Right? If you've got a little
robo -vac, you've got that covered. It's the
other shit that would take a humanoid robot taking
the trash out, you know? Yep. Scrubbing the bathtub.
Like literally running to the store and back
although we have door dash, but why the hell
would you do that when you're paying? Well, right
one point eight X what it would cost to just
go to the store and do it yourself I don't know.
I really don't trust technology companies. I
don't trust any big corporation really but technology
companies are really really scummy like super
scummy you think yeah data scraping and scalping
and It's just a nasty, nasty business. I think
it's not worth the risk. If I take an extra hour
of the day just to make sure my house is clean
versus giving the opportunity to Alphabet Inc
or Meta or Amazon to maybe have some type of
world -ending monopoly like that, no, fuck them.
Fuck them. I'll take an hour today just to clean
my house. Gosh that is That's a good question.
Yeah, you undecided is as much as as much as
all of that is Terrifying to me. I think I think
I would do it you do it. You'd risk it. I think
I'd risk it Yeah, I think I'd risk it there are
true like I hate doing the dishes I do them anytime
they need to be done, but I hate doing it. It's
just like it's the chores where you have to stand
around and do something. Yeah. Like mowing the
lawn, whatever. I'm walking around, that's great.
Blood's pumping, you know. But if I have to stay,
like folding laundry, doing the dishes, just
tedious, idle standing tasks, I despise. Yeah,
I'm not a fan. I despise, so I totally get where
you're coming from. Yeah, I'm not a fan. Nah.
I'm not a fan at all. As much as we keep talking
about this. There I put together these social
media profiles for each show right has photos
of a lot of different things that we talk about
So, you know, we've been talking about this and
I wanted to look for a cool photo of Montserrat
My god, they're all cool. They're all they're
all look at that Montserrat Monastery and nature
park good god. It looks absolutely gorgeous the
natural beauty with a little bit of human architecture
Yeah, I think I'm gonna like it there. Hey, Montserrat.
Hey, hit us up. Hit us up, right. Hit us up.
We'll travel to you if you paid for that thing.
We will do that. Yeah, we, as a matter of fact,
we should do some sort of, you know, like people
that write books, so you have like a book release
party and all that kind of stuff. We'll do a
live podcast. A live podcast from Montserrat.
Funded by Montserrat, hopefully. Oh, we're totally
funded by them. 100%. Yeah. Or we throw them
in the volcano. Anyway, those are DMS. Please,
you know, send us your DMS and questions and
all that good stuff and we'll chat and we'll
chat and all that. We now move on to the other
foods now. This is a segment where Aidan scours
the globe for foods that, well, maybe yucky,
kind of yucky, atypical, not very appetizing,
sure, you know, not great for the palate. One
could argue. One could argue. So I'm very curious
what Aidan's got for us this week. So, for this
week, I got a little something from France. Oh,
oui. The old French. I haven't bullied them enough,
so here we are. Back on the front burner, boys.
This little dish, I guess it's an item, really,
called enduet, endu - enduly, enduelette. Okay.
Commonly misconstrued for enduly. Which is a
type of sausage, a little spicy sausage. Sounds
pretty fantastic. This is the French version,
I guess. Andouette. Or is the French pronunciation?
The French pronunciation is supposed to be Andouillette.
I guess. It is a French coarse -grained sausage
made from the intestine of pork. Mixed with pepper,
wine, onions, and seasonings. Oh, you found a
nice picture of it. Oh, yeah. Mark Moe himself
found a wonderful picture of it. Now, you might
be thinking, like, oh, weren't sausages back
in the day made from antistans? Well, yeah, but
this one is like pork intestines. Let me read
further. And they didn't take time to grind this
stuff down is basically what we're saying. It's
the fucking tube of where shit comes out. Oh,
no. Enduettes are... generally made from the
large intestine and are about 8 centimeters in
diameter, true andouettes are rarely seen outside
of France, think fuck, and have a strong, distinctive
odor coming from the colon, which, yes, is a
part of the dish. Although sometimes... Are you
finding more pictures of it? No, no, this is
not good. Yeah, Mark Mo is doing live research
next to me about enduets. Although sometimes
repellent to the quote -unquote uninitiated,
this scent is prized by its devotees. When made
with the small intestine, they are a plump sausage,
generally about one inch in diameter. So, yeah,
if you want... If you want actual shit sent on
your plate, travel to France. Get the Andouettes.
That's disgusting. Yeah, it's foul. What a foul
design. Ugh. There's a reason hot dogs aren't
made like that. Right. Glizzies? Oof. We have,
like, regular people's sausages here. We have
Andouille. Right. Oh, yeah, for sure. That's
foul. Yeah, foul. That is so nasty so that God
that is the first of potentially many dishes
I will have in the future coming out of France,
but yeah, typically recently I've been doing
like a country deep dive But this one dish alone
out of France was enough to be like not this
has got to be standalone Yeah, that's that's
enough. It's a yucky one If it smells like poo
poo on my plate. I don't want it take a pass
hard pass hard pass now For the next segment
before we take a break, I used to do fry reviews,
fry guy fry review. Now we're just putting that
on the shelf for a little while because I've
tried a lot of fries. You're the fry guy. Because
I'm the fry guy. So I put that kind on the shelf
for the time being with many other segments that
we kind of pull off and on and off over time.
So now I've gone to the frozen guy review because
I live alone, so I get a lot of frozen meals.
Makes sense. And so my second one, last week,
as you know, we did like a, what did I have,
like a Yellowstone? The week before, because
last week was our Mark Mo show on the road. Oh,
that's right, we did that. So the first one was,
we did a Yellowstone pasta bake. It was like
a pasta bake kind of thing. It was excellent.
It was like a nine three or nine four. I'll have
to go back and look at that, but it was very
high, but it was... Taste it, you know, the taste
and the make of it. You said, and I think I'm
paraphrasing, but you said, tastes like someone
made it for me. Yeah. And that is huge for a
frozen meal. That's about as good as you can
get. Yeah. You know, it really was phenomenal.
Now these, by these I mean family of products,
I suppose. Amy's. And so I tried Amy's Bulls
Pesto Tortellini. That sounds tasty, too The
bright flavors of their bail basil pesto give
a delicious lift to tortellini that's made with
organic wheat flour Stuffed with our cottage
cheese and a rich creamy bowl of happiness. It
sounds pretty fucking good It is I know I know
that's their marketing team coming through strong.
Oh, that's a remarkable It is remarkable and
from the price point. It's an on the high side
so most of your frozen meals you can buy for
somewhere between three and four bucks for a
meal there's some that are on the cheaper side
which like a lot of those are just smaller the
portions are smaller so you sometimes you have
to buy two of them to make a meal but like three
to four dollars is kind of the sweet spot but
hey better three or four bucks then go down getting
fast food for 12 so I mean if you're looking
at a budget that's that's kind of where you're
at These are kind of closer to $6. So they're
a little bit on the higher side. If I'm not mistaken,
these Amy brand ones are typically like the organic
and vegetarian style. They're better for you.
They're healthier. They're definitely healthier.
And most people have that thought that, oh, if
it's healthy, it must not taste great. Sometimes
you're right. Sometimes you're wrong. In this
case, you're definitely wrong. I'm not a huge
pesto fan. I don't hate it, but I'm just not
a huge pesto fan. Isn't that that kind of guy?
Like, it's okay. Like, typically, pesto's okay.
So you'd trade pesto away for, say, marinara
or... Or an alfredo or a vodka sauce. Something
like that. Arrabbiata. Like, any of that I normally
prefer. But, like I said, pesto's okay. And this
pesto's phenomenal. You loved it? Like, it's
really, really good. Yeah, it's really good pesto
sauce. If we want to call it a sauce. I don't
know what else would. So it's really good. The
tortellini's excellent. The filling is great.
Very flavorful. And if you're paying a little
bit more, I think the one thing you want to come
away with is, am I full? Like, if I ate it with
a beverage, am I good until the next meal? Because
sometimes you have a little smaller meals and
a couple hours later, your tummy's like, hey,
that was not enough, my guy. Insufficient, brother.
Insufficient. These, however, will do it. You
know, this is definitely a meal. The pesto is
good. It's flavorful. Was the tortellini properly
filled, would you say? Yes. Good. That's my complaint
I've had with previous tortellinis, even at restaurants,
I would say. Yeah. Even at restaurants is like
the tortellini is mostly noodle. it's like bro
it's supposed to be filled almost like a ravioli
correct yeah it is supposed to be filled so that
is promising to hear so it's another one in the
nines it's a 9 .1 so i've had two really good
ones in a row oops all bangers all bangers so
far damn all bangers so uh amy's well done Very
good. You've earned the elite S tier. Yeah, you
have earned the S tier so far. And like I said,
it's a huge part of my nutrition these days are
these one -off meals just because they're easy
and I don't have to spend an hour, hour and a
half in the kitchen just cooking for me. Right.
Which annoys me. Yeah, especially so many working
Americans today trying to eat and live on a budget.
If you've got good advice here from the frozen
guy. Right. You got a couple of go -tos there.
Take it as gospel. Right. Hey, I don't have time
to make a meal. Grab it? Yeah. Five minutes later,
you're eating. Right. Especially with these eight
-hour shifts, which turn into nine -hour shifts
with an unpaid lunch, which turn into ten and
a half hour shifts with commute. A frozen meal
might be your go -to. Might be the go. Might
be the go. Yep, for sure. So two good ones so
far, and we'll have another one coming your way
next week. We're going to take a little bit of
a break and then come back with our feature segment.
You just made the list. All right, we're back
everybody for our feature segment. You just made
the list right here on the Mark Mo Show podcast.
I'm your host, Mark Maloney, along with Aidan
Maloney. And this particular list, top 10 list,
10 through two, big number one reveal. And let's
see rules, rules, rules. Okay, page 18. Line
eight. Oh, right here. No rules. Oh, thank God.
Yeah. Thank God. Yep. I knew it. I had a feeling.
So the only rule is that there are no rules.
And this week's list is best songs about the
city of Chicago. My man. And this was it was
interesting. It was an interesting journey. Musical
journey, if you will. because some are just really
super direct, specifically about the city. Sometimes
it's not right up in your face, but you know
it's about Chicago. Very interesting lyrically
and musically, I suppose. So Aidan, why don't
you start us off with your list? Now, did we
go over the rules of this list? Or did we not
cover those yet? Oh, all the rules, like, that
there are none? Yes. Yep, that was the one. OK,
yeah. That was one. We definitely went over it.
Because I have a top 12 list. There you go. Wait.
Hang on. Page 18 again. Uh -oh. Now, you should
be good. That is allowed. You should be fine.
Yep. Yep. So I'll run my 12 through 2 with the
big number 1 reveal. Uh -huh. Number 12. I've
got Angels by Chance the Rapper. OK. Great track,
nice bop. There's a feature artist. I don't remember
who it is. A little bit of live research just
to make sure I get everything right. I think
that's appropriate. You know, that is something
we can do. Saba is the feature artist on the
track. Great track. Good album. Number 11, I've
got South Side by Moby. South Side. Number 10,
Chicago by Frank Sinatra. Gotta have him on there.
Oh yeah. Number 9, here's a fun one. I put this
one half on here as a joke and kind of half for
real. In a way, it's Chicago, exclamation point,
by Daniella Monet. Now, this is a song that was
performed, I believe it's a Nickelodeon show
called Victorious. Oh, yes. Do you remember this
by chance? I remember that show. So one of the
side characters, I don't know if it was Victorious's
sister or like... I know who she is. She is the
sister. Yeah, she's the sister. Yep, and she
had this song about Chicago Which was one of
my earliest childhood memories of a song about
Chicago beside Frank Sinatra Yeah, I was like,
oh my god. I can't believe Nickelodeon like Just
popped off with this banger It was meant to be
a joke song, but it was really kind of inspiring
That is really interesting. It's a city. That's
a sighting. It's a city. That's inviting It's
a city for a woman just like me She kind of popped
off with that So it's it's a fun way after this
show is over. I'm totally gonna be YouTube. Oh,
yeah relisten to that and it's it's like There's
such a vitriol. It's not I don't know if she's
a good singer or not, but in the character she
was performing. The character is just not that
pitch perfect, if you will. But she went out
there and just sang it. It's like, oh man, I
feel you, sister. Number eight, Chicago at Night
by Spoon. Great track as well. Number seven,
End of Beginning by Joe. I think it's a great
song. I think it's a recent song too. It is.
Number six, had to have him on here. Bad Bad
Leroy Brown by Jim Croce. My man. Oh no. I didn't
have it on the list. Oh no! Devastating news.
Maddest man in the whole damn town. Yup, on the
south side of Chicago. Number five, I'd Shy City
by Common. Just a righteous track. And the production
on that track, oh my god. Oh yeah. Number four,
Saturday in the Park by Chicago. The song itself
is by Chicago, very important. Number three,
I Had Homecoming by Kanye West and Chris Martin.
Number two, on my list, My Kind of Town, Frank
Sinatra. My kind of town, Val Poet. Yeah, it's
not Val Paraiso. It's Chicago, baby. Not so much.
So that's my 12 through two. That's great. That's
that's good. That's great. That's great. I did
not have Frank Sinatra either So I don't know
what the hell I was thinking what the heck when
I made my list. Oh my goodness I know, but you
know what I can do. What's that then? It's pretty
amazing There's that term that we use as creators.
Yeah fix it in post right and so I don't know
if this is technically post fix it In present.
In present. Yeah. I think is what is going on.
So I'm going to put My Kind of Town. Yes, there
you go. By Frank Sinatra. And Bad Leroy Brown.
And my honorable mentions. There you go. It's
not against the rules. No. There's no rules.
There are no rules. At least that's what I heard.
That is true. It's true. It's true. It's the
way it is. Damn true. So I'm going to put those
two there. Number 10, 2120 South Michigan Avenue
by the Rolling Stones. Ooh, OK. Yep. South Saeed
by Moby. Nice. Chi City by Common. Number 7,
65th and Ingleside by Chance the Rapper. Oh,
yeah. Yep. Chicago by Frank Sinatra, so I had
the other one. Okay, there you go. End of beginning,
I did have that. That is a song I like a lot.
It's a good song. Saturday in the Park by Chicago.
Fun fact, they weren't originally named Chicago.
They were originally named the Chicago Transit
Authority. And I bet there was some kind of lawsuit.
There was an issue. There was an issue, so then
they were just Chicago. Was almost my number
one like the my three through one it could have
totally been interchangeable But number three
Jesus just left Chicago by ZZ Top. Oh nice great
frickin tune I love it and number two Lakeshore
Drive Bay, Aliotta Haynes and Jeremiah I almost
put that track on there, too. Did you? Lakeshore
Drive is great. Yeah, it is a great track Time
for big number one reveal. Time for big number
one. Big number one reveal. My number one Sweet
Home Chicago by Robert Johnson slash the Blues
Brothers slash Buddy Guy. Yeah. I mean, it just
depends which version you're listening to. They're
all fantastic. What a great track. It's a great
track. It is a great track. Also my number one.
It is Sweet Home Chicago. Baby, don't you want
to go? Oh, yeah. Let's go right now. Yeah. Great.
Great song. We share, every once in a while we
share our number ones, but it's funny we do these
lists. Aidan and I like have, I would say we're
at about a rate of about 75%. Give or take? Give
or take, and sometimes like exactly the number
two, so that's always pretty funny. Or like our
top threes are like mix matched, you know? But
we'll always have some type of like agreement
or big moment where it's like, holy shit, I forgot
that track. Uh -huh, yep. But it is a good time.
Did we miss any lovely listeners? Yeah, let us
know. Send us those DMs. And we're across all
socials, Aidan Maloney, Mark Maloney. I think
you can still find AK219, which is our collaboration
gaming. You can find content there and just all
over. Just look for us, we're there. Send us
any messages that you would like. Now something
we've been doing as a way to kind of get a break
from the movie reviews, review preview, which
I typically do at this point, is going down a
Reddit rabbit hole. Now it's fun because I had
dinner with a friend last night and so I was
having... dinner with my friend Carlos, or as
Aiden refers to him, my boy Carlos. My boy Carlos.
And so we were having dinner and he gave me something.
Syphilis? Oh, that was the that was the confidential
part. I'm sorry. Man, come on. Sorry, Carlos.
Yeah, we both know it was the crabs. So. He said,
I'm gonna rearrange the gutter. The only thing
we heard was gonorrhea. Gonorrhea. I am gonorrhea.
We go down the Reddit rabbit hole a little bit
every week. So he gave me something, which I
will not reveal today, but I will reveal to Aidan
in a little bit. We'll probably do this one next
week or the week after. It's fascinating, so
I can't wait to show this is what we call T in
the biz we call teaser hangar well cliffhanger
hangar I hardly know her Poker in the front,
liquor in the rear, is that? Or liquor in the
front, poker in the... What does that mean? It's
interchangeable. I don't know. I don't know what
that means. Me either. Anyway, back to the rabbit
hole. So, Aidan, what do you got for us this
week? This week I have three fun little statistics,
little graphs, perhaps I could send them over
to Mark Mo to include in the infographic about
this show, but I feel like they're kind of intertwined
in a way. Ooh, okay. I like finding... These
multiples I know sometimes in the future or even
in the past with this segment on radio. I it'll
just be a infographic statistical thing But I
found three today that I think are kind of an
intertwined. Oh one might say okay. I have a
graph here percentage of young adults Between
the ages of 18 and 24 who are parents Okay from
2010 to 2023 and how it has changed. So as a
whole in the USA in 2010, the average 10 .4 %
of young adults were parents, had a child. And
some of the outliers here would be Arkansas at
16 .2 % of young adults being... parents Idaho
fifteen point three percent Texas fourteen point
seven percent and Then you've got places like
Vermont where it's six point five percent, New
Jersey six point one percent Minnesota eight
point seven now in 2023 and of course this graph
would be much different today in 2025 with yeah
the cost of everything being exorbitant even
from 2010 to 2023 A 13 -year gap. The rate of
young adults, 18 through 24, being parents went
from 10 .4 % to 5 .5%. Ooh. Haved. Haved in a
decade and change. Where the outliers, like Arkansas,
dropped from 16 .2 to 9 .4. Oh, wow. Texas dropped
to 7 .7. Idaho, 6 .6. And then you had places
like New Hampshire and Vermont, which are sub
3%. Wisconsin 4 .5, Minnesota 4 .1. So young
parenthood has heaved in the last decade and
a half. Interesting. And I have a weird inkling
will continue to drop. Oh, for sure. Here's a
different graph, which, you know, I don't know
if it takes a big brain to connect these two,
but... this is a graph mortality ratio by year
of age and the comparison is Europe being the
steady point and how America compares to it so
America or Europe being the one of the graph
yeah and the United States of America being what
ratio of people of that age die to things like
health issues or homicides things like that So,
this is a 2017 statistic where 20 -year -olds
in the US are two and a half times more likely
to die than in Europe. Oh, God. Period. Full
stop. That's the statement. That's the fact.
That's problematic. Two and a half times more,
whether through health issues or homicide or
other types of death. Yeah. By the age of 28,
it jumps to 3 .3 times. Oh my God. By the age
of 50, it's still 1 .7 times. The only point
on this graph where Americans are less likely
to die than Europeans is after the age of 86.
Yikes. But even then, it stays within like 0
.8 to 1 type ratio. OK. Now. The third and final
one I have here, the percentage of Americans
without health insurance. Oh no. Which across
the US, and this is as of 2023, I do not have
a newer statistic than that, as of 2023, 8 .53
% of Americans live without health insurance.
And of course most Europeans know our health
insurance is pretty dog shit even if you have
it. Even if you have it, yeah. Even if you have
it. Um, so that 8 .5 % is, you know, way higher
than that if you think of people who can't even
afford to hit their deductibles. Yep. So, the
worst, the top five states in uninsured individuals,
Texas, 17 .4%. Mm. Oklahoma, 13 .5%. Georgia,
12 .5%. Florida, 12%. Mississippi, 11 .5%. The
bottom five states, Massachusetts is pretty low
at 2 .6%, Hawaii 3 .7%, Vermont about 4%, Rhode
Island just over 4%, Minnesota 4 .5%. And the
reason I think these are intertwined and interestingly
connected is because you could draw a graph between
which states were on the worse end of these stats
to which states... Also have the worst end of
these statistics and I think which could be a
future down the reddit rabbit hole of finding
these statistics of What percentage of Americans
are properly? given sexual education Yeah, what
percentage of these Americans have You know state
Medicare and Medicaid which percentage of these
Americans have decent social programs in their
state Now, it's pretty easy. There are statistics
out there, which I think I'll bring up in the
future as well, about quality of life and happiness
score, the happiness index, where states like
Minnesota rank among the top European countries
in terms of quality of life, whereas states like
Mississippi rank below... Portugal and and other
Europe struggling European countries yes, so
it's it's just fascinating how all of these are
intertwined and how of them how much of them
kind of are Specifically affected by the fact
that we as Americans don't get health care correct
We just don't get health care, and it's fascinating
to me in a weird like fucked up way where it's
like, wow, I can see from both the outside and
the inside of how all of this connects. Yeah.
Yeah, it's something. And it's disappointing,
to say the least. The one state I think you mentioned,
Massachusetts, I think, was one of them that
was relatively low. That's because long before
Obamacare, There was Romney care. He was the
governor of Massachusetts at the time and he
came up with his own social health program right
so that was that was the way to kind of alleviate
all these particular problems and Now we kind
of live in an environment where for example snap
and wick benefits They're not whoever gets them.
You're not getting them, right? You're not getting
them. And that's part of health. You are malnourished.
That is going to cause a problem. Right. Right.
And you have all these people that are malnourished.
You're taking all these Medicare or Medicaid
programs away. Who's going to pay for that? Right.
Who's going to pay for that? And so we really
... Am I going too far as to call it a health
crisis? I don't think I am. No. I think we have
a health crisis in this country. It's amazing
to me that you can go to so many countries, Germany,
UK, France, go to Canada even, and if people
get sick, they just go. They don't have to have
a card. They don't have to fill out all these
forms. You go. You go, can I see your ID? Yep,
okay. Yeah, sit down, wait for your name to be
called. You go and you see the doctor, and that's
it. Yeah. It's like, oh, well, gee, how much
did the visit cost? It's like, oh, I don't know.
You may have a clerical charge of like $5. Oh,
it will cost $10 to park. Exactly. Oh, okay.
Okay, yeah, you're gonna have some little charge
like that at most. You've got Americans taking
Uber to the fucking hospital because an ambulance
costs $8 ,000. Mm -hmm. And I pocket and I always
hear from Americans and I don't want to call
them stupid. I'll just call them misinformed
But basically you always get will they pay more
taxes and do a blah blah look Whether they have
more taxes or not to pay for health to make sure
that everybody gets the health care that they
need Which seems to be a basic fucking right,
right? I've been to Canada. You've been to Canada.
Yeah Everybody seems to get on fine. Everybody
owns a car, they own a home. Because it's easier
to pay $2 ,000 more in taxes a year, as an average
working American, than it is to pay $10 ,000
a year in premiums. Right. $6 ,000 a year in
deductible. Getting into legal battles, whether
or not this was medically necessary. Right. Death
boards or whatever they call them. Yeah. It's
a fucking nightmare. It is a nightmare. And once
again, Look, doctors take Hippocrates and they're
supposed to do all that they can for the people
and do what is best for their health. But it's
almost impossible to do that for people when
all these health organizations are all for profit.
Right. They care about the money. Why don't we
have cures for all these diseases? Hell, back
in the 1920s and 30s we were curing shit. Why
can't we cure stuff anymore? Because there's
no money in it. There's no money. We would rather
continue to produce drugs To treat symptoms right
and actually cure the disease because there's
no money in it, right? That's plain and simple.
Yeah, it's devastating, right? It's devastating.
It's the world we live in. It's the country we
live in It's the country we live in true. That
is that is I should amend that and I just did
Fix it in present and fix it in present, right?
Yeah, we don't do it in post anymore. We fix
it in present We're that damn good Yeah, but
now a way to go down that rabbit hole and how
a lot of that stuff interconnects. And as far
as young people no longer breeding, that's a
concern. That's a huge concern. Dropping fertility
rates, it's not a U .S. thing. It's happening
across Europe. It's happening in Asia. It's happening
in the U .S. It's Gen Z and Millennials. Of course,
Gen Alpha isn't necessarily at the age where
they can have children. But it's the fact that,
hey, it's unaffordable to live as a human being.
How the fuck am I gonna scrounge up a half million
dollars to raise a different person to the age
of 18? I can't afford it. It's a no. Cannot afford
it. Yeah, you can't afford it, and then that's
another human, you know what, that you have to
feed, another human that needs health insurance,
and you can't do it. It's another human you have
to care for, which means if two working parents,
working 80 hours a week collectively, who's watching
the child? Can't do it. Schools are underfunded,
teachers are underpaid. Yep. No. That's a no.
That is a no and then even within our education
system, you know, these kids go all day They
eight o 'clock to 2 2 30 and they come out with
2 2 30 and what do they have with them a backpack
filled with homework? Why? There should there
should be a law against homework. That is a dumbest
frickin concept There is not another country
Where kids bring that shit home? They don't right
they do the work at school That's what they're
there for. They do the work at school. The whole
concept that kids have to come home and write
essays and do all this studying and all this
shit is absolutely absurd. It's absurd. It's
a reason why our education system is in the toilet
as well. It's a hot mess. And it always brings
up an interesting conversation whenever we go
down this Reddit rabbit hole. We could kill another
two hours on this, I'm sure. So we'll wrap it
today. But let us know if you like us going down
the Reddit rabbit hole, given the movie's a little
bit of a break here, because we do like to change
things up from time to time. So let us know if
you like it. you know, just like my boy Carlos.
My boy Carlos. Gave us a little something to
go down that rabbit hole. If there's something
you want us to investigate, something you want
us to go down that hole, we're happy to do that.
We don't even have our friend who's a spelunker.
We're just going to go. We're going to go put
the light on our cap and just be careful. Yes.
Yeah, be very, very careful. Before we get to
our final break, We have a second call while
you were sleeping. So Aiden investigates games
and and youtubers and and shows and all sorts
of stuff to maybe kind of find something Hey,
I think people are sleeping on this or maybe
just something a little bit older tech. Maybe
we forgot so Aiden, what do you got for us? So
while you were sleeping And I know, during this
segment, I've brought this up once during the
radio show, and I think I brought this up during
season one of the Mark Mo show, but I want to
reiterate its excellence. And also its financial
possibility. It is the series of video games
called I'm On Observation Duty. They are fan
-tastic. And so many people sleep on them because...
I mean, multiple reasons. Some people would rather
watch a horror movie or watch someone play a
horror game than play a horror game themselves.
And that's fine. You can do that. You could even
do that on YouTube on Aidan Spelt the Right Way
or AK219. But it's super great. Observation Duty.
Horror survival game you monitor live surveillance
cameras to find and report supernatural anomalies
Your goal is to survive the night shift by spotting
changes moving furniture intruders ghosts The
abyss taking over your land and you have to spot
these things as they're happening before the
anomalies overtake and kill you Now, there are
seven games in this series currently out. I believe
an eighth one is in the making. And the reason
I'm bringing them up again is because, first
of all, it's spooky season. It's the perfect
time to bring them up again. Yes. Secondly, you
can buy the catalog. You can buy all seven games
for, I think, under $30. Oh. Seven video games
for under like $30. And you're supporting an
indie dev. And on top of that, They're very resource
friendly. You don't need an excellent graphics
card. You don't need a high powered CPU. You
don't need 30 gigs of RAM. You can run it on
a potato if that's all you own. Sure. And it
is so worth it. The games themselves are remarkably
fun. And it's not, it is a single player game,
but you can play it with a room full of people.
You could crack it out at the Halloween party
like, hey, boys, we're playing Observation Duty.
It is a really, really good time, not only for
yourself, but for spectators with you, who are
playing along with you. It is a great time. You
can find it on Steam. I believe it's just a PC
game. And the reason I bring up Steam specifically
is it is one of the few games I've ever found
that have a 10 out of 10 rating on Steam. Whoa.
Rated by players. Players have collectively agreed
this game is 10 of 10. That is phenomenal. I
believe it. And I cannot recommend it enough.
I think it's made by a solo dev. Either that
or it's a small dev team. I believe they're called
Notovia, but I think it's just a solo dev. But
the games themselves are phenomenal and I can't
recommend it enough. Even if you've got a potato,
you're running on yesteryear's technology, you
can run this. You know, it is very resource friendly
and I can't recommend it enough. It's a great
game to play. It's a great game to watch. And
it's the perfect season for it. Observation duty.
Yeah, I've seen it being played before. I think...
We did one, didn't we? We did one, but the episode
was lost because we had already been through
about four hours of recording that day, and you'd
gotten a little sleepy. I did, I didn't get my
nap in. You didn't get your nap in, and unfortunately
the nap happened during the recording, so...
Which I thought was funny. It was funny, but
there's only so much you can do in editing to
kind of make up for that, so it's... I don't
know, we will revisit that. We'll have to. We'll
have to. If anything, maybe just a funny reel
or something. Right, right. Because it's kind
of worth it. But yeah, that was fun. That was
a good time. It is a great time. And I swear
to God, like sometimes you can flip through all
the different rooms and stuff as you're investigating
and looking for anomalies and things like that.
And you go through it, and you go through it,
and you go through it, and it's looping through
all these different cameras. I swear to God,
nothing's changed. And then you get this warning
like, multiple anomalies, and you're just like,
what? What is happening? Yeah, and the frustrating
thing is they don't tell you what you write.
There are sir I think six and seven will tell
you like oh you missed something in this camera
You missed something in this camera and you're
like, okay, I got to restudy those then but the
earlier games It's is raw. You just get fucked.
It's like now you died. You missed four anomalies
It's like what the hell did I do? Yeah, the only
thing you can do is just reload it again I'm
trying to think of And I know it's something
else that's pretty popular might be something
we have to investigate It's a game Gosh, I can't
remember what it's called There's like a bunch
of you and you're these these little these little
people you kind of bounce around But you like
land on this planet your ship lands, and then
you got to go and you got to like find stuff
on these planets You're kind of bouncing around
and then there's these monsters and other things
you really can't see But you try not to get killed
and you try to go and get whatever item you're
supposed to get and then get back to the ship
So you can oh, yeah, what is that a lethal company
lethal company? Yeah, like I thought that was
a lot of fun Yeah, and kind of spooky cuz you're
like out there and the some of the screens are
kind of dark Sometimes you just hear things and
you're like, oh my god. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah I believe
that's Lethal Company, and that's a great time.
Yeah, that's a good one, too. But yeah, good
on this one. Yeah, Observation Duty is awesome.
All right, that concludes While You Were Sleeping,
and we're going to take a quick break. Come back,
and we've got our beer review in the World of
Weird News. All right, we are back for the home
stretch of the Mark Mo Show podcast. Check us
out on all podcast platforms and YouTube. And
like, subscribe, all that good stuff. I'm here
with my son, Aidan Maloney. And we're going to
finish this up real neat, real nice. And we're
going to do it with our beer review. So what
do we have this weekend? This week we have, by
the Moody Tongue Brewing Company, which is out
of, you guessed it, Chicago, Illinois, a Baltic
Porter. Oh. Now, what is a Baltic Porter, you
might ask? Baltic Porter, smooth, cold, fermented,
codeloggered beers. Brewed with lager yeast because
of its alcoholic strength may include very low
complex alcohol flavors, lager fruitiness such
as berries, grapes, plums, ale -like fruitness
from the warm temperature, the stylus malt flavors
of a brown porter as well. But this one here
specifically is advertised as a caramelized chocolate
churro baltic porter. It's a lot. It's a lot
going on. A lot going on. 7 % ABV as they describe
it. Oh, let's go. This 7 % medium -bodied coffee
-colored Baltic porter carries the flavors of
Madagascar vanilla, Mexican cinnamon with the
aromatics of dark Oaxacan chocolate? Sure. How
do you pronounce that? Yes. x a c a n oh Okay,
hang on that is a that is a word from Mexico
a walk -in chocolate I don't know what I'm looking
at. Oh, no neither do we? No technical difficulties
what what's that song usually with it? Okay,
let's walk in that is a Mexican word Which makes
sense, a lot of chocolate comes out of Mexico.
O -A -X -A -K -A -N... Uh... Oaxacan. Sure. Yeah.
Sure. Because the X is an H. In English. Yes.
Yup. Mexican. Mejicano. Mm -hmm. Awaken Awaken
sounds sounds like a plan regardless. It's caramelized
chocolate churro Baltic Porter That's what we're
ranking on a scale from one to five using the
untapped app on our telephones Not sponsored,
but is recommended Because hey because why not
it's free. That's right. So we're drinking it
out of a bottle today and We'll be letting you
know how much we like it what flavor notes we
have and of course in the comments Let us know
what you are enjoying Today mmm a slantra to
you slantra Boy, that's smooth. My goodness.
Oh Oh, that's delightful. It's sweet. It's smooth.
Oh, yeah, I get a touch of cinnamon for sure
back end touch of cinnamon They mentioned vanilla
that the vanilla is light. It's it's more so
cinnamon. I definitely get the cocoa chocolate
flavor. They're going for Mm -hmm churro when
I'm thinking churro. I'm thinking a weedy cinnamony
sugary this is a big doughy penis shaped thing
yeah exactly that exactly that but they're good
as hell they are good as hell but it's deaf I
there's something and I don't mean for this to
sound it will I I like this but there's something
missing I'm just gonna say that there's something
missing I get cinnamon I get chocolate cocoa
The vanilla and the weediness of the churro I
don't get and You know on my palate. I'm not
I'm not getting anything that's overpowering.
I would agree I think the balance of the flavors
is really good I can definitely tell what we
tell where it is a darker chocolate because when
you get things that are chocolate more like You
know sweet or semi -sweet That would sit on the
palette much different than this does So like,
it's just kind of a hint of chocolate, almost
like a bitter chocolate, like a dark chocolate.
Sure. So I do like that. That's pretty much what
I'm getting. I don't get the vanilla like you're
getting, but I do get the chocolate a little
bit. But it's clean. I mean, it just goes down
a lot lighter than most porters do. I would agree.
There's less bitterness. Usually porters come
with coffee notes. which are bitter, they stick
around on the palate for a while. This does not
have that at all. Does not at all. Not at all.
Yeah, if you're a fan of darker beers, the porters
and stouts and that kind of stuff, this would
be higher end for me. It's remarkably pleasant.
Yep. Oh yeah, for sure. No, I enjoy this very
much. Yeah, I would agree. I think out of five,
I think I'm going to lock in a 375 out of five.
It does not get to the elite. four plus tier.
But as far as porters go, this is really wonderful.
It's not super syrupy, sugary. It's like a dessert
beer would be, right? Right. But you still get
sweetness. The cinnamon comes through. The cocoa
comes through. As advertised through their notes,
their tasting notes they provide, I would disagree
with the vanilla like you did. I would disagree
with like the churro -y vibe to it. It's just,
you could've just called it chocolate cinnamon,
and I would've agreed. Sure, yeah. Yeah, 375,
I like it a lot. It is very, very clean. Yeah.
It leaves no distaste at all on the palate. Yeah,
I agree. I enjoyed it very much. I... Oh, what
happened? Oh, no. I backed out of it. Oh, shucks.
That's okay. We're gonna save it. Easy fix. Fix
in the present. It is an easy fix in the present.
That's just kind of what we're doing today. So,
yeah, I would give it a three and a half. I almost
got to where you were. Three and a half. Three
and a half, three, two, five is kind of like
my... Average scale I suppose although. I don't
get too much this above the 375 so I suppose
maybe this is the higher end of average sure
then To be fair so you know to kind of the flavor
profiles for me. I'm thinking Chocolate yeah,
I'd agree smooth yep dark Dark well we're drinking
out the bottle so we can't tell Dark is a I looked
in my stomach, so it's all it's dark in there
to be completely dark is a visual adjective It
is it's dark in there. I know it is. It's dark
on the inside I am dark MCR so it's playing Lincoln
Park out of nowhere Yeah, so I'm thinking chocolate,
I'm thinking smooth, I'm thinking dark, and probably
cinnamon? Yeah, I checked cinnamon, clean, chocolate,
sweet, and smooth. Got it. Yeah. All right, I'm
officially checking in. Checked in. Check that
out. Let's freaking go. Yeah, all right. My man.
Claim my free pinter. Well, free in air quotes,
I'm sure. What does it cost, really? Yeah, shipping
is like $7 ,000. Yeah, exactly, exactly. I've
unlocked a badge. 99 bottles. Jesus, level two.
Which means 198 bottles. Yeah, yeah. So that's,
yeah, that's whatever. My man. My man, I'm such
an expert. I unlocked a badge. Untapped 15th
anniversary. I got that one as well. Did you?
Yes. Okay, congratulations guys. And middle of
the road. Boy, that sounds great. Sounds like
a life. Middle of the road, level seven. Looking
for more kick than a session beer, but want to
be able to stay for a few rounds. They don't
know me. You have to keep it in the middle. That's
35 beers in the ABV. a five percent greater than
five percent and less than ten percent that's
middle of the road yeah that's okay and that
is insulting as I thought it was in the first
place try five more for level eight okay well
there you go well that sounds like a challenge
sounds like 20 minutes for me yeah exactly we'll
take we'll take care of that sounds like the
average five minutes on my Friday yeah we'll
fix that in the present no doubt All right. Well,
we're gonna move ahead to the world of weird
news and Aiden, I will let you rip yours off
first here. Okie make smoky. I went to our favorite
state. I had to do it again. Is it Florida man?
Florida man! And standoff. Yeah. Four slice of
pizza. Police say. Oh no. Evan Charles McLemore
arrested in Pensacola. Here's the story. Out
of Pensacola, Florida, a Florida man accused
of threatening his family ended a four hour standoff
with police after he was promised a slice of
pizza. Oh my. He gave up his family, which he
had abducted for a slice of pizza. That's the
story. Pensacola News Journal reports that Evan
Charles McClaymore 33 years old, was arrested
on Tuesday and charged with resisting an officer
and aggravated stalking. Police officers said
they responded to a report of possible battery
at a Pensacola home and found McLemore had barricaded
himself in a room. Officers said McLemore claimed
to have a gun, so of course they called in the
SWAT team. Crisis negotiators attempting to save
the family of harm eventually managed to coax
McLemore out with the promise of pizza. Oh. It
wasn't clear nor reported if he actually received
the slice he was promised. That is hilarious.
His bond was set at over $100 ,000 and jail records
said he didn't have an attorney So homies right
abducts his family right be like, uh, I Got slice
of pizza. Yeah. Oh, you like pizza in there.
Oh shit I kind of love pizza. As much as that
is a Florida man story, that could almost be
like a Chicago guy story. Oh, yeah. Jimmy, let
your family go. I can't do that. Hey, brother,
we got a 16 -inch Fox's out here for you. Just
let them go. We got Vito and Nick's out here.
We got Foxy. Take your pick. Well, all right,
then. Yeah. That's amazing. That is absolutely
amazing. A slice of pizza saved a family in Pensacola,
Florida. I've got a story. God bless pizza. For
you. Oh, please do tell. I've got a story for
you. Here is the title of said news story. Man
tosses his penis out of car window during car
chase with police. That's the headline? That's
the headline. That's the headline. That's the
headline. A Tennessee man allegedly flung his
own - Tennessee man. God bless Tennessee. God
bless Tennessee. Tennessee man allegedly flung
his own severed penis. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
How was it severed? Right, I mean that's sentence
one. That's sentence one, they don't describe
the severing of El Penis. Right, we're just getting
right into it. Okay. A Tennessee man allegedly
flung his own severed penis out of his car window
during a police chase last week and said voices
on the radio told him to do it in order to save
the world. He must be on that same sativa shit.
That's stoner Stanley. He was on that cell. Yeah
for sure bro. He's gotta be Stanley. Leave your
penis alone. You can find the van. Right. Tyson
Gilbert 39 had parked his car partially blocking
the highway when police first approached him
in Doweltown. After the cops hit their lights
to pull him over, he took off. The chase involved
multiple police departments and two branches
of the Tennessee Highway Patrol. Oh my God. At
some point during the chase he ditched, oh my
gosh, who wrote this? Oh no. God bless you. At
some point during the chase he ditched his own
dick out of the window. of his Honda Accord like
a banana on Mario Kart track. Oh my god. Writers,
I love you. Oh my god. I love you. Bro thought
he was Yoshi on the fucking teddy buggy for sure.
He totally did. See, I'm on the pipe frame, bros.
You can't deal with this banana. Oh, it's so
funny. Gilbert opened the door to his vehicle
where the trooper observed Gilbert was bleeding
from an alleged self -inflicted wound. Gilbert
shut the vehicle's door and sped away, according
to a Tennessee Highway Patrol preliminary report.
Someone's gotta get rid of this penis. It's gotta
be me. It's gotta be me. This penis has got to
go. When I pulled up behind him and turned my
lights on he took off and refused to stop He
was all over the road the whole time Bobby Johnson
of the Tennessee Highway Patrol told Tennessee
News Station He turned off on old Liberty Road
when he came to a stop. He opened his door He
was naked and covered in blood He then shut his
door and kept driving A THP spokesperson told
Motherboard that they couldn't confirm the state
of the man's penis or whether anyone found it
on the road. Oh my god. Bro, imagine a deer comes
by like, ooh, tasty, a banana. And eats his penis.
Oh god. Whether anyone found it on the road and
took it to the hospital for him because of HIPAA
privacy laws. Can't say. I can't say. If you
find a penis on the highway. If you find a penis
on the highway. Hey, hit up the mark motion.
If you find a penis on the highway in Tennessee,
let us know. We will be your journalists. We
want part two to this story. Exactly. Police
deployed two sets of tire spikes to try to, not
to recover the penis, but to try to stop him.
The penis was on a roll. The penis could not
be stopped. but he drove through both and kept
going eventually running on just his rims the
total chase lasted for near than 30 miles oh
my gosh with a severed penis until police boxed
gilbert in he asked for medical attention was
taken to a nearby hospital for treatment oh my
yo first of all you chop your dick off right
that's strike one that's an issue That's 30 miles,
even if you're speeding. If you're going 120
miles an hour, police chase type speed. Yeah.
It's still 15 minutes to get that fucking 30
miles. Right. How long can you lead out? How
did he not bleed out? Right. That's crazy. That
is nuts. I can't believe that. How did that guy
not pass out? That's crazy. So a radio voice.
I wanna know what radio show, did Howard Stern
tell him to do something? WKQX, cut off your
penis today. Right, exactly. We got a new song
from 21 Pilots coming up, but hey, first, before
we hit our next break, cut that penis off and
save the world. News at 10. I mean, how does
that go? I want to know how that goes. Join us
for Cockless Wednesday. Right, exactly. Ow. They
didn't tell me it would hurt. Trump and Putin
are about to end the world. The only thing that
can save it is your penis. On a Tennessee highway.
It's up to you, Gilbert. Make sure your penis
doesn't get spike stripped. Oh my god. WKQX.
WKQX. We'll be back after these messages. Right.
Wedge that right in between the sports and the
weather. Wait, what was that one? What's going
on? You get Menards ads for like, shears. Oh
no, that is hilarious. Holy hell. You get like
a blue chew commercial? Yeah, I don't think so.
I don't think that one's going to help him anymore.
What a shame. You want your cock fully out of
your body before you chop it. Nothing should
remain. That's right. That's right. Well, that
ends our show for this week. You want to make
sure you live through the chemtrails? That concludes
this episode of the Mark Mo Show podcast. Make
sure you give us a listen. All podcast platforms
and YouTube. Also check out Aidan's gaming content,
which is called Aidan Spelled the Right Way.
It's on YouTube. And then our collab, which is
AK219 Guys Being Dudes. You can find that. My
radio show, once again after hours. Catch that
on Tuesday nights at 9 p .m. and Friday nights
at... 8 p .m. And once again, thanks to this
guy here, Aidan Maloney, my co -host, producer,
supporter, all that kind of good stuff. Appreciate
you, Ben. Any comments out the door here? Absolutely
not. Have a wonderful and safe Halloween, and
make sure to cut your penis off today. That's
right. Only you can save the world. From the
chemtrails. From the chemtrails. Catch you next
week. Determined only by penis. Bye.