Join Master of Menacery Mark Maloney and the
OG Guy Being Dude Aidan Maloney as they explore
movies, music, food, and nightlife on the Mark
Mo Show. With segments like You Just Made the
List, Carpe DM, and The 15, each episode is
loaded with shenanigans, tomfoolery, and chaos.
We hope you enjoy the show. Hey everybody welcome
to see well, this is season 1 episode 8 of the
mark mo show My name is Mark Maloney, and I'm
your host along with co -host AK219 very own
Aidan Maloney Aidan How are you doing? How are
you feeling feeling pretty good feeling feel
like a human being a little more which is fantastic
That's good. That's a plus and it's a beautiful
weekend to be inside enjoying life I agree, no
doubt. It's just kind of gray and cold. A little
gloomy. Yeah. Yeah, don't need that. At least
in the region. I'm sure all you lovely listeners,
Europeans, a shout out South America. What up?
How's the weather down there? It's got to be
nicer than here. Oh, I'm sure. Yeah, I'm sure
our listeners in like Florida and Cali and places
like that are like, um, yeah, no, not gray. Couldn't
be me. Nope, not cold. But here in the region
or Chicagoland, take your pick. It's great. And
now the sun's coming out in here in our AK219
studios. It is coming out. Beautiful. That's
good. It's what we like to see. We like that.
Yeah. Enough of this gray crap. Just make it
sunny and 65 degrees, maybe year round. I think
it'd be perfect. Is there a place in the world
like that? If there is, hit us up. We're moving
there. Yeah, hit us up. And how is immigration?
Because I want to do that. Yeah. Like, sooner
the better. I would agree. But anyway, yeah.
So thanks for joining us. We appreciate you guys
checking out the show and participating. Like,
subscribe, all that good stuff. And by the way,
if you are a Mark Moe show fan, check out my
radio show. It's called After Hours. It's on
wvlp .org, that's where the stream lives, and
then the tune -in app on your handheld device.
Two hours of uninterrupted Celtic punk and alt
-rock every Tuesday night at 9 p .m. Central
Standard Time, and Friday at 4 p .m. Central
Standard Time. Also, make sure you check out
Guys Being Dudes, AK219 podcast with my co -host,
Aidan Maloney, and... Kevin, Kevin Boland? Am
I reading that right? Is he new? I'm not sure.
He hasn't gotten back to me. He's already called
off twice, so might be putting out a job offering
here soon. I wouldn't blame you, to be completely
honest. He's a rather entertaining gentleman,
but... A distinguished gentleman. A distinguished
gentleman. Quite. Curls his mustache. and smokes
a cigarette with a long cigarette. What is that?
I don't even know it. It probably has a name.
Oh, yeah, like the little attachment you put
to make it a long cigarette. Yeah. That says,
like, hey, I'm a dirtbag smoker, but hey, I'm
a sophisticated dirtbag smoker. Exactly, yeah.
You could do it that way. That just reminds me
of France, you know? It does. Something about
long cigarettes just screams, I'm French. It
really does. And then the French reminds me of
that game we played that still pisses me off
to this day. Passpartout. Passpartout. If you've
never played the game, I encourage you to play
it, but then rage quit it like we did. Yeah,
that dirtbag Benjamin. Oh, that ass. We were
cornering the art market. We were throwing some
legit shit out there. Bangers. And then all of
a sudden, Benjamin's is like, hmm. No, I do not
like this anymore. He's bourgeoisie. I'm like,
what are you talking about? We would never buy
from you again. Yeah. And then everybody was
like, oh yeah, yeah. We don't like your stuff.
I was like, OK, I quit. This is enough for me.
But anyway, smoke your cigarettes. That's fine.
Go ahead. Go ahead. That's fine. At least you
guys have national health care. Right, exactly.
Must be nice. Yeah, like. You know, you get a
cold, you get the flu. You can just go see a
doctor and not worry about thousands of dollars
in medical bills. Do you have to take your wallet
out of your pocket? That would be a no. Yeah,
no, not even I think. No. Interesting how that
might work. But here, it's like you pretty much
have to sell a kidney just to have a cold treated.
Right. But you can't sell the kidney without
talking to a doctor. So even that, you're not...
You gotta get that consultation. Yeah. So you
gotta pay for that too. Yeah. It's a hot house.
A nightmare. It is a nightmare. The nightmare
that is known as the United States of America.
Let's go USA. USA. America. Anyway. Here in America,
by the way, it is college basketball tournament
time. And Aiden, that could only mean one thing.
Basketball! Well, yeah, but... Tons of illegal
gambling! Well, certainly, but... Cinderella
stories, big time upsets. Well, yeah, sure. We
love that, for sure. Chinese checkers, maybe?
Chinese what? I don't know, I ran out of ideas.
I'm gonna keep it a hundred with you. Well, that's
fair. But no, it's March... Madness. Oh. Which
means it's time for Munch Madness. Let's go.
32 Foods and Snacks Battle to be the ultimate
champion. Are you ready to go? I'm very excited.
All right. And opinionated. That I know. As the
Lord intended. As the Lord intended. Now, we
have broken down, we're not doing 64 because
that would be, that'd be insane. I'd be putting
like grapes on here. Right. That'd be the full
episode. That'd be the full episode. There's
no reason for it. If we were on Patreon, we'd
be like, hey, catch the full 128 snacks. Yeah,
nah, we're not, nah, nah, nah. We're not doing
that. But I do have four brackets, eight teams
each. And the first one we've got is the snack
bracket. That's exciting. Snack bracket. We are
a snacky family. So trust me when I say, no question,
I left some out. But this is 18. We've got to
make some tough cuts. That's true. And now we
can do one of two ways. Either you and I can
be in agreement, like we do on the tier list
kind of stuff. And. move snacks and foods along,
or we can just kind of make our own picks. Oh,
that is tough. Come to different conclusions.
Yeah, what do you think? I think we have to do
it cooperatively. OK. Yeah, because there's not
two winners in March Madness. There's got to
be just one winner. And there's always a winner
when you have a bunch of snacks in front of you.
That's very true. So all right, here we go. This
is the snack bracket. The eight seed Twinkies.
Ooh, big underdogs, but. Versus number one, potato
chips. And that's an all -encompassing. Wide
-range. Kettle chips, cheddar, sour cream, pickle,
ketchup, all that stuff. Right. All dressed up.
So the all -dressed from Canada, those are so
good. Oh, yeah, man. What is it with Canadian
and just being. Better. Better. Better things.
Yeah. Yeah. It's a thing. It is. Weird. I like
their flag better, too. Sorry, America. Big maple
leaf. Big maple leaf. Big red leaf. Keep it simple.
Keep it simple. Tells me about your country.
Yeah. Hey, we got maple trees, maple syrup, maple
things. You're welcome. Very cool. Yeah. Oh,
yeah. I love that. One time I was up there, and
I mean, I've got the natural maple syrup and
all that kind of stuff when I go. Certain liquors,
if you will, at the Duty Free. We love Duty Free.
But I think it was maybe like an English tea
shop, but they like had a little bakery in it.
And they had these maple cream cookies. Oh damn.
Oh damn, that's right. I was like, um I'm gonna
be a complete fat ass and I'm gonna eat this
entire box of cookies right now. You know what?
Not that we're sponsored by them, but I love
shouting out Aldi just because they're just better
than every other grocery store in America. That's
fair. They have maple cream cookies. I think
they might be Canadian too. So they may be the
ones that well now you just think they and you
just opened up I know whole can of arms hair
I know if those are the ones you're thinking
of because if they were baking them in -house
in Canada Yeah, then probably not but I've tried
the ones from Aldi. They're pretty damn good.
Oh, are they? Yeah, all right. Okay. Nope to
self Yeah, stop at all these later today. Oh,
man All right, so we got number one potato chips,
number eight Twinkies. Do Twinkies have a shot
in hell here? I don't think so. I mean, everyone
loves a good upset, but the one seed is really
strong. One seed strong. Really strong. You know,
chips, you could sit there and just munch on
them on your own, having a sandwich or a burger
or whatever. I mean, just like so many applications
of said chip and different types of chips, the
kettle chip, ruffles or laser, anything like
that. Just I think Twinkies are just it's not
gonna work for them Yeah, chips got too much
talent on the bench a lot of depth on that team.
Absolutely Twinkies. I mean you kind of uh You
kind of a one -horse Kind of operation operation.
Yeah, right. I mean you got the cream I get it.
You got a shelf life of a million years. Yeah,
I get it I feel like all of the hostess and little
Debbie products have gotten worse over the last
decade or two. That's fair, because they shut
down and then they reopened. When they reopened,
it was like, wait a minute, this isn't quite
the same. Everything tasted filmy, leaves that
weird oil in your mouth, whatever kind of weird
Crisco shortening bullshit they put in there.
That's fair. Yeah. Potato chips, big dub. So
big dub for the potato chips. That's a double
digit victory. Not even a close game. Not even
a close game. We now move to the very challenging
four or five. At the fourth seed, we have pretzels.
Once again, this all encompassing. If you prefer
pretzel rods, or the little rings, or those dots
pretzels, man. Oh, don't even get me started.
Unbelievable. The butter braid, which I always
kind of like to. Pretzels, very solid four, against
the number five cheesy poofs. Oh, man. Cheesy
poofs. I love me some cheesy poofs. And once
again, the only thing I think that keeps me from
eating an entire bag of Cheetos cheesy poofs
is the fact my hands are absolutely coated. They're
caked, yeah. After like half the bag and then
you're like, okay, I've had enough. Right. Because
it is all over my hands. Yeah, the evidence is
there. The evidence is there, right. You can't
be like, were you in the kitchen snacking? And
you're like, no. And you sit there and you're
as orange as Trump is. Yeah, you're like, no.
Right, yet cheesy poofs are fantastic, but I
will say they have been categorized as poofs
meaning the crunchy Cheetos or Maybe even like
you know that pirate's booty. Yes that Popcorn
esque mm -hmm thing I don't know would that fall
under cheesy poofs Because that would add some
depth to this team because I am I'm gonna tell
you I'm leaning a little bit pretzel Well, that's
and that is fair. And like I said, this is an
all encompassing category. So cheesy poofs, it
could be just the big poofy cheesy things. But
like you said, the pirate's booty is kind of
that way. There's also like this popcorn stuff
that's kind of the same consistency that Cheetos
does. It's also kind of a poof. Yeah. So I guess
you could kind of throw it in the. Oh, but I
guess cheesy poofs, you also get cheese balls.
And cheese balls is a strong player. Now, cheese
balls is a strong player. Ooh. Oh, no. Yeah,
now this is tough. Because pretzels are great.
Because you sit there, and you do pretzels, right?
So you've got pretzels, and they're great with
beer. It might be the ultimate beer snack. Right.
Is a pretzel. You'd even dip the pretzels in
beer cheese while drinking beer. Now that's an
idea. That's, I think you just opened a black
hole. Yeah. That's something. If this game was
close, that might have been the definitive three
that puts it away. That puts it away. Yeah, I
dig it. You go to German places with the German
beer and the big mugs that they have, and they'll
just drop a big old pretzel right in there. Yeah.
So yeah, this is a tough four or five. It is
a very tough four or five. I think... I'm slightly
team pretzel because I feel like team pretzels
got the versatility to Perhaps you could go with
sweet route. I mean you got those pretzel rods
dipped in chocolate white chocolate drizzle You
you you I think you just tipped it. Yeah, I think
you just took it with that one I was not I was
not thinking about that but at Christmas time,
right people get those pretzel rods with the
dark chocolate. Oh, yeah Talk about something.
I will eat about ten. Oh, yes. Oh my god. Those
are great I think you just, I think you hit the
three point winner at the buzzer. At the buzzer.
That's a close match. On that one, so I think
Pretzels just narrowly defeats Cheesy Pooch.
Yeah. We're now to the 2 -7. And I know this
could be a very easy one for Aiden. Number two,
Cheez -Its. It's a great team. That is a beautiful
team. And number seven, Jerky Products. Your
beef jerky, your venison. Venison's right. All
that. Now... Some might call me bias and you're
right, but I fuck with cheese. It's heavy. Oh,
yeah They got the original fantastic. They got
the white cheddar Fantastic not sponsored, but
I wish they would I This could be a blowout.
But then again Beef, turkey is really great.
You get that. There's this there's this one.
It's like peppered So it's got kind of that pepper
kick to it. Yeah, and it's so good. You got the
ones now that are They're a little bit more meaty
than your standard jerky, and they're like in
the bites little bites Yeah, those are really
good to those are fantastic, and then I think
it's called like bill toying or something like
that It's jerky esque very very good very pricey
though. I think that's the conclusion. I'm coming
to is Jerky, I mean they they got they got that
NiL money for them players That's pricey pricey
stuff, but you Sometimes you take a game bowl
You spend that $13 on a bag of jerky and half
of them are like biting through rocks. That can
happen. Like that's not a $13 a snack. No. Whereas
Cheez -Its are solid every time. Yeah. So jerky's
that big beefy meaty team that just they could
just lay down and crunch time. Exactly. Yeah.
That's good. Where Cheez -Its is just a balanced
squad. Yes. Goes out there, gives their 100 %
every time. Never lets you down. They're good.
That's true. You know? I'm a Cheez -It man. So
we're saying Cheez -It's a solid victory. Solid
victory, yeah. I love that. Snack bracket, not
a lot of upsets so far. Nope, that's pretty much
the chalk as we go along. However, this one could
get interesting. Number three, popcorn. It's
pretty wide. Versus number six, Doritos. Ooh,
I like both. Yeah. especially when you talk movie
theater because I'm very much the moviegoer and
obviously I do reviews and things like that for
my magazine article and other stuff so I'm I'm
a semi regular moviegoer I'm almost more excited
unless it's like a Marvel movie or something
I'm really amped up to see I'm more excited because
I'm like oh my god I get to get a big tub of
buttery popcorn and I can't wait very true I
mean popcorn is pretty encompassing because,
as we were talking about earlier, that pirate's
booty is kind of a popcorn -esque cheesy poof,
but then you also get that white cheddar -bagged
popcorn off of store shelves. That's really good.
Oh, that's good too. Yeah. That's good stuff.
Microwave popcorn so you get it hot. That's so
true. And microwave popcorn's cheap. I mean,
a family -sized bag of Doritos is like $6 now,
$6, $7. It's expensive. And from what I heard
they had red dye number one or five or whatever
it is which I guess now is banned Oh, yeah, I
think it's it's banned in the US. I think it's
been banned in the EU for a while Yeah, but yeah,
I was recently looking at the back of a bag of
Doritos like the Cool Ranch ones and there's
like several different artificial colorings in
there. I'm like You're a fucking tortilla chip.
You don't need that You've got enough flavor.
You don't have to convince me of it. Exactly.
That is very true. So there's a little dirt on
that team. A little bit. I would agree with that.
It's slightly tarnished. Right. It's not deflate
gate, but it's pretty close. But like Cheez -Its,
I think popcorn is just an all around solid squad,
whether you put cheese on it or you throw butter
on there. You can throw lots of stuff on there.
You can drizzle chocolate on popcorn, too. That's
true. That's very true. Doritos do not have that
versatility, although you could crumble them
up and use them as like the crunch top of a baked
mac and cheese. You could do that. That is an
interesting thing you could do, but I am. I'm
leaning popcorn from the versatility, from the
experiences that goes around with it, because
both popcorn and Doritos do leave a coating on
the hands, but popcorn's just a little oil. Whereas
Doritos, you get that Cheetos experience, knowing
damn well your hands are now coated in that yucky,
artificial color. I'm a popcorn guy. I'm a popcorn
guy too. I think Doritos is a strong six seed,
but popcorn I think is just a better squad. I
think you're right. I think it's a better squad,
so it's a solid victory for them. Now the next
question is, should we finish the bracket or
get to the next one and the next one and then
we break it down as we go along? I think we can
clap this bracket closed. All right, let's do
it. And then hit up the next ones. All right,
I love it. We have four teams left in the snack
bracket, Aidan. And chips are up against pretzels.
Oh, man. One versus four. Big one, four. Big
one, four. Now, one thing we didn't talk about,
I guess, which is health factors, I think pretzels
are probably a little bit healthier for you than
a chip. Arguably, yeah. Well, depending what's
on the pretzel. Because that has a lot of sodium.
Depending what type of chip, because some chips
are just - Are baked. Yeah. They're just oil,
salt, and potato. That's true. Whereas pretzels,
I mean, you're making a dough and then, you know,
pretzel -ifying it. So I think arguably they're
both carb -based products. Right. But you're
talking snacks, right? We're not comparing. Nope,
we're talking a snack. Yeah, we're not comparing
celery with cucumbers or anything. I... Oh, man,
I'm really torn. Because I'm not... a giant potato
chip guy. Yeah. But I do recognize their superiority
and the authority they bring to the table. They
do. But I'm leaning pretzels. You have to break
me out of that. I'm leaning pretzel. Yeah. Once
again, I just think you look at a chip and you
look at that versatility, right? And you've got
this chip so you can have and trust me, I know
pretzels is similar in some fashions, but like
you got chips and dip. or you've got, you can
just eat them out of the bag. That's true. Or,
you know, you can, you can do a lot of different
culinary things with the chip. You can put the
chip on a sandwich, in a sandwich. Oh, that's
true. That chips in that, like, lunch meat sandwich.
Yeah, man. Damn. You know, and I gotta say, when
you eat peanut butter and jelly, and then you
got that chip, so you've got that savory, sweet
balance, and that chip kicks in. That is a good
balance. It's a really good balance. If we're
including the French onion dip, which by the
way, like the French onion ranch dip. Yeah, oh
yeah. That can go well with both pretzels and
chips, but I feel it definitely pairs more often
with chips. I think so too. Or that Ruffles ranch
dip. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That one is solid
too. But I think that one can easily be for a
pretzel or a chip. Right, that goes both ways.
For sure. This is, this is tough. This is, man.
I'm pretty close to 50 -50. You'll have to tie
break. I know. God, I don't know. All right,
in the interest of time, let's, since chips,
I think, is a little bit more rounded, I think.
when you go out and you have a sandwich, or you're
at home and you have a sandwich, or you're having
chips with it. So I think it's just a little
bit more versatile. Once again, I think this
is a close two or three point victory for the
chip. But the pretzel was a very strong four.
Strong four. But the one goes on. The one goes
on, and that leaves us with Cheez -Its versus
popcorn. Oh, man. That's tough. That is a challenge.
That's a good 2 -3 right there. I told my friend
the other day with Cheez -Its, one thing that
I did one time, I had maybe like a fourth of
a bag left and I was making some chicken. And
if anybody that knows me and has had my fried
chicken knows that I make pretty good fried chicken.
One time I took them and I left them in the bag
and curled up the bag and then Lightly with a
tenderizer smashed it into a Cheez -It powder,
which I then put into the flour mixture of the
chicken. That's genius. It was amazing. That
is genius. It was really, really good. Something
you can't do with popcorn. Something you cannot
do with popcorn. I'm gonna let my bias speak
again. I think Cheez -It pulls away with this
one. You do. I think I do. And it's purely just
bias. I have no facts to back this up. We were
just talking in the popcorn versus Dorito match,
how close it was and how strong popcorn is in
Versatile, but Cheez -Its is so good. Yeah, I
will give that one to you, even though I'm a
huge popcorn fan myself. I too love Cheez -Its.
Actually, there's a knockoff Cheez -It called
Cheese Nips. Now, I haven't seen them out and
about in a while, so I don't know if they make
them anymore. Oh, right. I think it's just a
different bakery. I'm trying to remember who
makes Cheez -Its, is there? Cheez -Its is Kellogg.
It's Kellogg? Yeah. So Cheez -Nips might be Nabisco?
Nabisco, could be Frito -Lay. Could be. Yeah.
But the Cheez -Nips I thought had like a little
bit of a different cheesy flavor, and I always
like those too. Yeah. And then there's those
little circular ones, cheddar... something or
other. They're like a little circle cheddar cheese
cracker. Oh. Those are pretty good too, and I
can't remember who makes those but Yeah, you
know I will like I said I live for popcorn man
Especially when I'm watching the movies right,
but I do have to say when I'm not watching a
movie. I don't have it a lot That is true. Yeah,
I don't have it a lot now if I have a bag of
microwave popcorn I'll make it and I'll melt
a little butter and I'll put that on the top
of it and then it's Close to what you get the
movie theater, but I don't do that all the time
And it's like I strictly kind of have it in the
am I watching a movie category there cheese It's
you can just eat anywhere right time so I use
it cheese. It's it cheese It's moves on or under
the one to the one to chalk matchup cheese. It's
chips. I This is too difficult. I know and this
is just the first bracket. Oh man the first bracket
I There's gotta be a tiebreaker here, because
you know I lean Cheez -Its, but we did just talk
up the versatility of chips. And you could crunch
up chips and put them in fried chicken batter,
too. It would almost make it Panko -esque. Yes,
you can. So this is on you, man. Oh, thank you.
I appreciate that. This game is too close to
call. It's too close to call. But once again,
I'm just gonna go with the versatility of the
chip. Although Cheez -Its are pretty versatile
too. But Cheez -Its are Cheez -Its, just cheese.
That's true. Where chips, you have cheese flavored
chips. You got barbecue. Pickle barbecue. So
I think that versatility, I think all of the
different types. Kettle baked. Right. Do you
even have Pringles? Pringles, which we didn't
talk about. Yeah. Pringles might be. By the way,
Pringles, not that I'm gonna get on my soap box
here, but oh wait, there it is. Yes, I am. All
I have to say is this, okay? Pringles are good.
It's almost not a chip. It's weird, because like
you eat it and it's a chip, but it's not, because
there's no other chip that tastes like it or
has the consistency of it. It's like they take
the potato away from the potato and then like
turn it back into potato to make the chip. And,
okay, I'm a guy, I've got a big hand. Ah, the
tube. Assholes, what are you doing? It's like
you provide this delicious snack and then kind
of be like, ha, good luck. Yeah, and then like
you flip the tube over because it's too, your
hand is too big to get in. And then the crumbs
come out. Right, and then the very fragile potato
-esque chip breaks. They break. They do. That's
the whole point of it being in a tube is so less
break, but then the tube is its downfall. It
is because you can't get to said snack. It's
almost like, excuse me miss, can I borrow your
five -year -old? Yeah, can you reach in there
and grab a few chips for me? Thanks dude. Because
it's just there's no way you're getting your
big pot. Right. It's just not gonna happen. You
can't do it with chopsticks. They'll break the
chip. Yeah. You can't do it with like those little
sticky grabby hands. Yeah, so now you're fingering
it. Right. You're putting your fingers... hole
and you're hmm hmm anyway Pringles so Pringles
might close out the deal though as a bench player
they came in and they score right off the bench
hit that clutch three down the stretch chips
narrowly over cheez -its it's a tough bracket
that that was the end of our snack bracket we're
now on to the appetizers slash sides bracket
once again very very Tough matchups here. We're
starting with the number one fries fries French
fries and then that's a once again chips was
a solid one in the snacks this a very solid one
and the appetizer sides and They're going up
against fried pickles now. I'm not a fried pickle
fan, but I know people that Swear by them. I
am one of them. Yeah, I enjoy me some fried pickles
But the match up stuff. I don't know as far as
an eight seed I'm I feel for them because I'm
on their side, but fries is a really strong one
Yeah, and as much as I lean toward fried pickles,
you've got a lot of versatility with fries to
you got Cajun fries. Yep You got all the different
fried dishes. You can make Irish nachos Texas
nachos I think fries pulls away waffle fries
steak fries shoestring fries I mean you just
have so many different varieties all the fast
food joints all have different slightly different
variations of the french fry and then of course
there's poutine right and that i think like if
you were even like a could be a close matchup
and then you throw a poutine out there it's like
oh now it's now it's a 20 point drive right right
and i think that's what we're looking at here
so i if if it's okay with you fries moves on
big fries victory big fries victory now four
five is always a tough matchup right we got number
four nachos versus number five onion rings That's
pretty tough. I love nachos. It's it's one of
my favorite appetizers to get anytime I go to
a Mexican joint But I really fuck with onion
rings. I know right if there's any place I go
where I know the fries are just okay I get the
onion rings uh -huh because they always hit I'm
they do I'm thinking this could be the first
upset. Four five is not really an upset upset,
but I'm feeling onion rings recently. I am too.
Last night I went to a restaurant in a town close
to ours because I also write articles about restaurants
and bars and things like that. So I was there
all night. I had a ton of really good food. And
so I left and then met my friends at a sports
bar here because the the tournament's on right
so catching a game michigan state one big go
sparty and we're watching that and of course
i have to have cheese sticks right very true
i earn points and it's like oh free cheese sticks
yes please don't mind if i do don't mind if i
do so now i had this dinner now i had these cheese
sticks now we go to this bar in town called duffy's
that's your kind of your that's where you end
the night that's a late bar but i'm with like
there's six or seven of us we're all hanging
out having a good time My friend Jess decides
to order onion rings. I'm full. I'm several beers
in. I've had tons of food, but those onion rings
hit the bar, and you're like, well. Don't mind
if I do. Yeah, I think we're going to have one
or two of those. I agree, man. Onion rings are
so solid. And different dips you can have with
them, too. You can do a beer cheese with those
onion rings, and that's fire. That is very true.
They got those Cajun Chipotle Mayos with the
onion rings. Golly. Well, I think we have our
winner on your drinks the five seed moving on
Solidly moving on very true. Sorry nachos. You
are you're a good good team Yeah, they came in
at that four seed thought they were hot shit
and then that was like I don't know this one
potential for an upset potential number two cheese
sticks strong to Number seven quesadillas. Oh
Man, I love me a quesadilla, dude. Love quesadillas.
I love cheese sticks too, though There's the
what are they the beer battered cheese sticks.
I think Red Robin does them super well They're
fantastic Every time but I'm calling it right
now. This is the 512. I don't know how quesadillas
loses Came in at the seven seed swinging. Yeah,
you know quesadillas are good. I like them I
like them because you you know you got everything
in it right you got some sort of meat product
you have the cheese the tomatoes and then the
dip which Most times a sour cream, but our green
salsa. Yeah, you do anything like that. So Verde
fantastic But cheese sticks man that is just
that is an all -around solid squad. It's a tough
matchup. It's a lot tougher than I thought. Yeah,
I think I would lean more cheese stick route
if the breaded cheese curds, like you get at
Culver's or... And they technically could be
part of that, just like the cheesy poof with
the Cheetos. They could be a part of that, but
I just feel like stick as a form implies a stick
shape. Sure, and I don't know if that fits. I
don't know if that fits this this I'm quesadilla
all the way I'm trying to argue on behalf of
cheese sticks to be devil's advocate, but it's
right My heart is screaming quesadilla because
I'm I'm a cheese stick guy like 100 % Like if
I go out to a restaurant and there are appetizers
I do a quick glance for the cheese stick right
soon as I see it. I'm like cheese sticks Yeah,
like I don't even look at anything else Cheese
sticks are another product, too, that's really
hard to screw up. Right. It's a big hunk of mozzarella
cheese surrounded by some sort of breading, coating.
Right. And that can vary depending on the restaurant.
And, you know, most often you dip it in marinara,
but lately I've been dipping it in ranch. Ranch
is great. Ranch is great to do with that. Ranch
with a cheese stick is solid. Could also dip
quesadillas in ranch. Man you are you're pushing.
I know pushing I'm really trying this is this
the challenge see I knew we would get to this
point at some point I didn't think it'd be a
7 -2 But here we are yeah here. We are if only
there was a tiebreaker Yeah, we do we don't feel
like we should get a coin to flip I know right
if we had a if we had a coin. I don't think I
do Boy golly Well, I'll tell you what I'll give
you this tiebreaker if I can get the next one,
okay? That sounds fair. Is that fair? Begrudgingly,
I move along. Quesadillas. The big seven -seat
upset. Let's go. Let's go chat. Let's go team.
With the upset over cheese sticks. Three -six,
another one. Potential for an upset. Wings against
tater tots. Ooh, see tater tots is interesting
because it's like they took fries and hash browns
and they had a baby. Right, yeah. And that, it
can serve as both. Oh yeah. You could do tater
tots for breakfast. It's your hash brown, yeah.
Whereas I don't know if you can do fries for
breakfast. There's no law against it but people
might look at you a little strange. Sure. See
tater tots can be for breakfast but they can
go in all the same... fried dishes. Yeah. Right.
And they go, they go in a lot of casserole kind
of thingies too. That's true. You make tater
tot poutine. Yes, you could. You absolutely could.
You can make any type of those like Irish nacho
type dishes with tater tots instead of fries.
But wings are really great. Wings are great.
Yeah. Wings are great. And once again, you could
just have them fried. You can have baked, grilled.
And the sauces are endless. Or the rubs. Dry
rubs. I had a lemon pepper dry rub last time
I had wings, which I can't remember when that
was. Probably weeks ago. But I had them for dinner
one night. Had this lemon pepper rub. Fantastic.
Yeah. Fantastic. It is wonderful. Bone in, boneless,
either way. Yeah. Wings are really, really good.
Yeah. I'm more of a drum guy for the wings. Sure.
Not as much of the flats. But even so, they're
just delicious. Yeah. I eat. I just I like chicken
a lot. I think I gotta go wings. Okay All right.
I'm fine with that. I do love tater tots and
all of its applications as well too like sometimes
with the points like you get appetizers and stuff
at b -dubs and A lot of times I'll qualify for
like the tots and I'm like, oh, that's great.
Yeah And so what I'll do, I'll be like, hey,
can you smother that in some sort of queso sauce?
Right. And they do. And they're so good. Genius.
They're so fricking good. So we salute your attempt,
Tater Tots. Tater Tots, very strong 6. You played
a good game. Wings just too much. Yeah, just
overpowering. Now things get interesting. Right.
We're on to fries versus onion rings. If that
wasn't a thing anyway. Right. Fries versus onion
rings. Now fun fact, my dad, your grandpa, preferred
onion rings. And especially at an establishment
called White Castle. And he swore by their onion
rings. And they're very good. And there's a lot
of other bars and restaurants in the area that
really have... Like, I feel that onion ring game
in this part of the world is very strong. Yes.
I completely agree. I think it's very strong.
I don't know if that's a genetic thing that skips
a generation because I'm pretty much completely
in line with that. If I see both fries and onion
rings as options, I usually lean onion ring.
Unless it's a spot where it is established I
know they have good french fries, like the Cajun
at Five Guys or the Cajun at Popeyes. Or McDonald's,
which is I know yeah, yeah, no kidding there,
but I lean onion rings, but that's a big five
one upset that I'm Suggesting and I don't know
if that's gonna fly by the commish. You know
It's not and yeah Since everybody that knows
me knows my fry guys yeah That being said I completely
understand where you're coming from for onion
rings The only thing I think, and that sways
me, besides the fact I just love fries, but the
thing that sways me too, sometimes, is that sometimes
you bite into the onion ring and the entire onion
slips out. True. And now you've got a teeny tiny
piece of breading and a huge mushy onion in your
mouth and you're just like, wow, that wasn't
expected. Right. And now you've got to shove
the rest of the onion ring in your mouth. Because
the ratio is off at that point. The ratio is
off. Yeah. So I go fries, I think. I yeah, I
think the the one moves on in this aspect, but
I will give onion rings credit where credit to
do breading and frying a Vegetable a root vegetable.
Yeah has a lot of that water moisture, which
I you know leads to that onion slippage of its
breading But they still find a way to do it right.
Yeah, and that is admirable. Yeah, I think when
you're When you're cutting up the onions and
making them from scratch like that, I think you've
really got to try to take a little bit of that
moisture out. Yeah. Before you dredge them and
bread them and all that kind of good stuff. Pet
them dry, you know. Because if you don't, if
you just cut them up and you just throw them
in right away, like you said, that moisture,
I think, creates that slippage where you take
that bite and it all comes out and you're like,
well, OK. But then there's some where they do
it right, where that breading is... damn near
adhered. Adhered to the onion a little bit better,
so you don't run into that as much. It's almost
the same process I imagine you'd have to do to
make latkes, like potato pancakes. You've got
to take all that water, starchy water out of
there. You absolutely have to. So, yeah, it's
a tip out there for all you onion ring makers.
That's right, that's right. I am now going to
talk about the Cinderella story. It's an appetizer
side out of nowhere about to become Master's
champion. No different sport guys quesadillas
versus wings seven three quesadillas wings I
Love quesadillas so much. I know you did and
I really talked up their upset last time But
this is this is gonna be a lot closer of a match
a different animal Different animal entirely
different game plan necessary because wings are
strong man Like you said wings are difficult
to mess up Whereas I mean even Taco Bell fucks
up a quesadilla sometimes sure they do yeah,
so I mean do those mistakes bring quesadillas
off of this Cinderella story Or does the upset
continue? I think wings is just too strong wings
is too strong I mean, they had a good run. Upsetting
cheese sticks of all things. Right, yeah. Yeah,
I think wings, third seed wings. Moves on. Looking
to move on. Definitely moves on, which brings
us to the final in the appetizer side bracket,
fries and wings. Fries and wings. Two great tastes
that go great together. How dare you pit two
bad bitches against themselves. I know, right?
This is tough for me. This is tough for me. I
was just arguing against fries in the onion ring
bracket Uh -huh, and now I'm almost tempted to
lean towards fry now We're turning it all around
because wings has been so strong Whereas you
know fries put up a big dub last time. I Don't
know. I don't know Because it's almost these
are appetizer sides. We're talking about but
I've always thought of wings Having the potential
to be a meal We're sure fries typically do take
the place as a side unless They are in a full
dish like Irish nachos Correct. Yeah, so with
that in mind it or poutine or whatever poutine,
right? God damn it. You brought up poutine again.
I'm I'm feeling fries again. Yeah. Yeah, but
see I get I Get the wings. I really do that is
that is a That is a tough one to pass up. But
you can't gravy and cheese curd a wing, really,
can you? I don't think you can. But here's something
I'm just going to throw out there. You have an
appetizer aside. You have leftovers to put in
your fridge. You wake up the next day, you're
going to eat it. What are you looking at as a
more appealing thing? A cold fry? Right, oh man.
Or cold wings, which you can just pick up and
eat. You can just pick up and eat like it's cold
pizza. Yep. You cannot do that with fries. Cold
fries are disgusting. Right, you have to find
a way to revitalize them. Bring out the pan and
some oil, kick on the air fryer, something. You
throw them in the oven or the frying pan or something,
right. Because the fries must be revitalized
before they can be enjoyed. Yep. You've argued
wings... completely to win this match for me.
This could be a three seed big dub. I think it
is. And I'm a fry guy, but I'm being real about
it. That's true. Being practical. That's it.
I think wings are just... I think wings win it
in the end. I think they do. That is a big three
seed victory for wings. A big three seed victory.
Wings moves on. I hope you guys are all enjoying
this. We're enjoying it. We've done this on the
radio side of things here in Valparaiso, Indiana
for years. Some version of this. Yes, yeah. Perhaps
if we put these brackets on the socials, you
lovely listeners at home could... play along,
maybe scream at us in the comments as to why
we're wrong, but we can't hear you for now, so
we're just gonna keep on truckin'. We're gonna
keep on truckin', and Aidan brings up a good
point that would be a good thing to throw up
on the socials. The next bracket is what I call
the pizza sandwich bracket, and I was gonna do
something called entree, just too vast. Too vast.
Just too vast, because then you're leaving out
a lot of good stuff, so I figured if we just
narrow it to pizzas and sandwiches, which...
If you're watching college basketball or any
sporting events, probably something you're going
to be eating anyway. Certainly. So here we go.
I forgot a word here. That's OK. In the number
eight. We'll fix it in post, right? We'll fix
it in post. OK, so on the number eight, or sorry,
number one versus eight. Number one, Chicago
Tavern style pizza. It's thin crust pizza. Cut
into squares. Cut into squares, as it should
be. versus number eight, grilled cheese. I really
love grilled cheese. I do too. I really like
it. I don't want to say it has versatility because
it kind of doesn't. It's just a grilled two pieces
of bread with cheese in the middle. Now you can
pair it with tomato soups. You could have it
solo. For those under budget crunches though,
grilled cheese is a good sandwich to do. That
is a fantastic point to make. Yeah. Whereas,
I mean, if you get that tavern -style pizza from
a Chicago joint, you might be spending a pretty
penny on it. 25, 30 bucks? Right. So if we're
talking budget, I like grilled cheese, but how
do you beat... How do you beat the tavern -style
pizza? I don't think you do. I don't know if
I could be convinced of an 8 -1 upset here. Nah,
I don't either. And like I said, the grilled
cheese is great. You can dip the grilled cheese
in ranch. You can dip it in blue cheese. You
can dip it in tomato soup. Think about the timing,
too. That team is fast, man. I mean, you get
hungry. You could have that grilled cheese ready
in four minutes. Done. Or is that Tavern Style
Pizza delivery? You're talking 40 to 50. Yeah,
it's a while. You're waiting. I think we made
an argument for grilled cheese to be in the game.
Yes. But... But to win is a completely different
beast. There's no way. There's no way that was
gonna happen. No. But grilled cheese, I think,
put up a decent fight. They made it to the tourney.
That was a wonder. Absolutely. Yeah. So I think
we go tavern -style pizza. Pulling away. Pulling
away. Yeah. For the victory. And honestly, tight
game by half, but... That pizza just woke up
and was like, hey, remember me? Do we know who
we are? Well, we know who four or five are, and
this is another tough four or five. Number four,
the cheeseburger versus the gyro. This is, that's
tough. That's tough. I love me a good gyro, especially
for an authentic Greek restaurant. Oh, forget
about it. It's just a fantastic sandwich. Of
course, it's in a pita most of the time, which
you could argue makes it more of a taco. But
that's probably true tacos and hot dogs could
both be considered sandwiches depending culinarily
how you think about it, so You know that is what
it is, but here's my Here's my argument because
I automatically lean yarrow just because they
taste phenomenal the ziki sauce is crazy good
But which one of these two items could you make
at home? Cheeseburger the cheeseburger Yeah,
and a good old house burger man is good stuff.
Nothing beats a homemade burger man. Most people
have grills in their yard, you can throw it right
on there. Right. Making gyros at home, that's
a beast, you know. Right, because chances are
you don't have the spit. Right. And you don't
have the big wheel -o -lam. And I mean, think
about the quantity of American houses that keep
pitas at home. It's not a high percentage. No.
So you really got a meal plan. When you're at
the grocery store to make euros happen, we're
on Zeke saw somewhere make your own I mean you
you always got ground chuck lying around you
got some type of bread and cheese and lettuce
or tomatoes You've got a burger. I think cheeseburgers
are more practical Yeah, that's true though If
I'm if both are in front of me, I'm going to
reach for the euro That's my only counterpoint
Yeah It's not much of a win. And like you said
too, like if you're out and about and you're
say you're traveling cross country, whatever,
I'm going to run into 20 burger joints before
I run into a Euro joint. Right. And when you
go down south, you're going to run into less
Euro joints. Right, even fewer. Yeah, even fewer.
So I think I think cheeseburger. I think it's
a competitive game for sure. Yes, I agree. I
think cheeseburger gets the win. Yeah, their
play styles are very different. Oh, for sure.
But yeah, cheeseburger with the dub. This is
going to be an interesting 2 -7. I don't think
this will be the 2 -7 upset. But number two,
and for people outside of Chicago, maybe you
won't understand, but I know like, Buffalo has
this thing called beef on whack. There's the
beef sandwich like in Massachusetts. So there
are versions of barbecued beef in North Carolina
and Texas. So there's versions of beef sandwiches.
In the Chicago area, there's a thing called an
Italian beef sandwich. A beautiful sandwich.
It's a beautiful sandwich. Versus the chicken
sandwich. And all of its various applications.
Oh man. You got the grilled chicken sandwich.
You got the breaded chicken sandwich. Holy. Yeah,
that's tough. That is tough because I love chicken
sandwiches. I feel like I've eaten more chicken
sandwiches in my life than I have Italian beefs.
Probably. Yeah, that bone a cheesy beef man that
cheddar cheesy beef al's pops pops, right? Golly
Yeah, I think I think from a quantity standpoint,
you're gonna find chicken sandwiches more often
than you're gonna find Italian sure Yeah, but
there are restaurants that are like, yep. We
do italian beef Yeah, and that's what they say
they are and that's what they do and other than
like chick -fil -a There really isn't a place.
It's like we're the chicken sandwich spot Well,
a lot of places have chicken sandwiches, but
they're not like a chicken sandwich, but there's
one that I can think of off the top of my head.
Yeah. Whereas Italian beef, I could probably
name like 15 to 20 joints in Chicago that are
like, we are an Italian beef restaurant. Right.
That's what we do. Yeah. It's a speciality. Yep.
And it's a really good one. And it's delicious.
It's a really good one. Now, here's the thing.
Chicken sandwiches can be messed up, right? Oh
sure, chicken sandwiches. Undercooked chicken,
you're in trouble. Yeah, undercooked chicken
is a huge issue. Dry chicken is a massive, massive
issue. Sometimes it's a bad cut of chicken. Sometimes
you bite into it and it's awkward and it's like
tough and yeah. That's no bueno. Whereas Italian
beef, there's always au jus. If you're like,
oh man, this one's a little dry. You got the
huge cup of au jus. No, it's not dry. The only
thing that you could potentially do is overcook
the meat. Right. Or cook at a too high of a temperature.
But if you're getting it from one of these restaurants,
that's not what they do. That's not what they
do. No. It's perfect every time. The cheesy beef
is wonderful. Jardinaire on there. Get real.
Get real. They created this topping for specifically
this sandwich. Right. Jardinaire. Yeah. Which
is carrots and celery. Hot peppers. Hot peppers.
And there's a whole bunch of like things in there.
Some type of olive oil or something. Yeah. And
you put that on top, make it a cheesy beef. Right.
You can do the cheese and some marinara if you
want. That is true. There's different things
you can even do with it. Yes. You can do dry,
which means just the meat, it has the little
bit of juice in it. Or in Chicago, it's a thing
called dipped. That's where it's at. Just take
that whole thing and plop it right in the au
jus. Yes, that's where it's at. The only point
I make there is if you're... per se road trippin'
or on a long commute. Bad sandwich to eat in
the car. Bad sandwich to eat in the car. You
cannot make that happen. Yep. You're gonna need
like 30 wet wipes, 50 napkins. Oh yeah. So that
could be like the third quarter near come back,
but no. Chicken sandwich doesn't have it. No,
strong, but no way you're beating the Italian
beef. So we are gonna have the Italian beef sandwich
move on, which then takes us to number three,
the steak sandwich. versus number six, deep dish
pizza. Ooh. Ooh, boy. Now. Now mind you, there's
two things that I left off this list, because
there's only eight. Right. Tacos, which would
have been strong, and Philly cheesesteaks. That's
true. But this is steak sandwich, so if you choose
to kind of wrap that into an all -encompassing,
feel free to do so. Yeah. Because Philly cheesesteak
is essentially a steak sandwich. It is, correct.
In a way. So you could fit that in there. And
I think for argument's sake, you totally can.
I think an exception here that didn't make the
list as well is Indiana's very own pork tenderloin.
Pork tenderloin sandwich, which is excellent.
That would have been a contender as well, but
didn't make the bracket, which is fine, because
we got these two bad boys steak sandwich deep
dish. Last time I ate a breaded steak sandwich,
it did not go well for me. No. For either of
us. We won't mention the place, because we do
love the place. We do love the place. It was
just a one -off freak accident where something
was mishandled or poorly prepared. And we were
both sick for a day or two. Yeah. And it was
a rough one. It was a rough one. I was throwing
up for a long time. What? Does that mean every
steak sandwich is bad? No. No. What? And sometimes,
once again, you talk Philly cheesesteak, which
is different than a breaded seat. breaded steak
sandwich, which is different than like a ribeye.
Sure. With the caramelized onions and cheese.
Yeah. Oh man. Which is good too. Oh man. That
is really good. Here's my counterpoint. I love
deep dish pizza. Oh yeah. It's usually called
like the tourist pizza or the tourist trap pizza,
whatever else. And I don't eat it much, but.
Every time I eat it, I love it. It's great. Lou
Malnati's kills the deep dish game. There's a
lot of. Who knows. Who knows, yeah. Uno's, Giordano's,
yeah. The deep dish pizza game is strong, but
it's one of those things you eat a slice of deep
dish pizza, you're full. You're done. A slice.
Yeah. It is very filling. It's essentially a
pie, in a way. Really? Yeah. But it's really,
really good. It's really good. I would think
steak sandwich pulls away with this one, but
I give props where props are due. I'll go as
far as to say maybe, just maybe, Deep Dish hits
that three at the buzzer. Like I was saying,
it's a close one for me. Do you oppose that?
I do not oppose that. In fact, the last steak
sandwich I ate was probably the one that messed
up that defense. That's exactly. Yeah. Exactly.
That's a really great point. So I'm thinking
Deep Dish with a 6 -3 upset. I like that. I like
that for us. We're now on to... Tavern style
pizza versus the cheeseburger. Oh man It gets
tougher every time as we move along I I can't
say no to a tavern style pizza. I can't either.
I mean, I don't really say no to cheeseburgers,
but for the sake of like I can't I can't let
tavern style lose Not like this. Not like this.
Not like this. And I'll be honest, we're very
much into our Irish heritage here. And we just
had various parades and parties and all that.
And so this guy got sick, so he could not join
me in my venture to the south side of Chicago
for said parade. But even when my kids were younger...
It was it like it was about the parade because
like you wanted to wear shamrocks and you wanted
to wear green and beads and all that fun stuff
Especially if the day like wasn't crappy like
it was this year. Yeah snow and cold But most
you know if you get that nice year You don't
mind being out there and hanging out and you
know people are throwing you beads and candy
and whatever feeling the energy of the day Oh,
yeah. Yeah, that's for sure and So that's fine,
but literally you stand in line until my high
school band, which is world -renowned comes by
Usually the middle of the parade. It's like,
yay, here's Marist High School. Woo -hoo. OK,
we're getting pizza now, right? Not the most
Irish thing to say is, let's go get that pizza.
The Fox's Pub is an Irish place, so that's fine.
But that's it. We would go down there. We got
our tavern -style pizza. And I did that this
year. And I made sure for Sickboy over here to
get a bunch for him and bring it home. Very true.
God, it's good. It is really, really tasty. Now,
Tavern Style Pizza is special. That is a special
team. Yeah. Like, cheeseburgers are good. It's
very good. They're good. They're good on the
court. They're good off the court. Tavern Style
is special. It is. It really is. That is a strong
one seed and they're there for a reason. For
sure like it like they they've got good. It's
like goat level. Yeah Yeah, so it's really gonna
take something special to knock them off completely
agree, but you know once again cheeseburger I'll
eat a good cheeseburger damn, right yeah that
moves to the other part The other matchup rather
Italian beef versus deep dish the two six two
six both Chicago Very Chicago very very Chicago
deep dish got that surprise dub over steak sandwich
But do they really beat Italian? Do they have
enough in the tank to beat the beef? Right. I
don't know. I don't know if you're talking like
I could eat an Italian beef and decide. Yeah.
I can't do that with a deep dish. The deep dish
is the meal. A slice is the meal. So... Here's
the way I look at it. Every time I've had deep
dish pizza, it's been a party, it's been a Super
Bowl, I have friends coming in from out of town,
the tourist pizza. Right. And that's when I eat
it. When I go out by myself to have a meal or
to have a sandwich or whatever I'm going to do,
countless times I've bought an Italian beef for
myself. Right. I don't think I've ever bought
a deep dish pizza for myself. No. So I think
that is a strong argument to make. I would completely
agree. And both can be made at home. They sell
that frozen Italian beef in the au jus that you
can heat up in a big pot. Put it in a slow cooker
or whatever. Yeah, you can do that. You can make
Italian beefs at home. They've got frozen deep
dish pizzas which cook up very nicely. We have
a place called Rosati's and they have them right
when you walk in. They got the little refrigerator
and they have the deep dish you can take home.
So both are applicable for on the go or at home,
but Italian beef just kind of wins at both. I
think so. Yeah, deep dish strong game. I give
you salutes, but... That Italian beef, get real.
They're too strong. Too strong of a team, which
brings us to a - To the matchup I feared. Yes,
the one -two. The one and the two. Oh, no. The
tavern -style pizza versus Italian beef. This
is just nuts. I don't - What more can you say
about either team, really? I don't know. I don't
know. That's rough. It is. That is a rough go.
I mean, God, I just, I want to say Italian beef
because I've consumed more Italian beef than
I have tavern -style pizza, I believe. It's probably
fair. Does it make it better? Is the question.
Right. Just because you've had more of it. You
know, dude shows up to the party. Shows up, he's
got an extra cheesy beef. and he's got a big
tavern style pizza. Right. What's the first thing
you're digging into? Oh, man. I can't even answer
that. I don't know. I think I... It might be
the pizza just because for people that have had
Chicago style thin crust pizza, it's cut in squares,
which means you have four teeny tiny triangular
pieces on each one. The corners. I'll be damned
if I'm not getting at least one of them. Right,
right. I'm definitely gonna get one of those.
Get one of those, get a couple edge pieces, a
center piece, just so people don't complain you
stole all the edge pieces. You stole all the
edge pieces, yeah. I think I'm going pizza first.
And I think I'm leaning pizza in the bracket
a little bit. Mmm. Well, okay. Okay, here we
go. We'll do the pizza. The old Tavern style.
Although my heart hurts a little bit. on that
one. It's one of those games that you don't want
to see either team lose. Right. I agree. Wow.
Okay. That's a tough bracket. That is a tough
bracket. We're now to the final bracket called
the dessert bracket. And we're just going to
start right off. One versus eight. Chocolate
cake. Staple. Versus vanilla ice cream. Now,
I'm going to let my bias show again. I prefer
ice cream to cake. Because I have had more dry
cakes than I have had bad ice cream. And there
is such thing as bad ice cream. Sure. You know,
made cheaply or poorly or... Or it's so super
frozen, it's so hard that you can't... You can
hardly scoop it, you can hardly enjoy it. And
cake doesn't give you brain freeze, where ice
cream can. Yeah. You know, it's a dessert that
can literally cause you pain. And brain freeze
can actually be deadly. So it's a dessert that
can kill you also. which I guess all desserts
can because you know diabetes is a thing, but
Betus the Betus I I kind of lean vanilla ice
cream because you It's got the versatility of
being the staple ingredient in almost every milkshake
in almost every blizzard That's true. It's no
It's no custard say from Culver's not sponsored,
but I wish they would but I mean, I'll argue
for vanilla ice cream, but chocolate cake is
really difficult to beat. Here's my take. First
of all, let's assume the chocolate cake is a
moist cake. Right. It's solid. Vanilla ice cream
on its own, to me, it's an unfinished product.
Like I feel I have to add caramel. I have to
add chocolate. Sure. I have to add chocolate
chips. Like I have to add something to it to
make it better. Right. I don't have to add anything
to chocolate cake. Chocolate cake's chocolate
cake. Right. So that's why I kind of veer towards
the cake a little bit more. I can agree with
that point. Because I always feel like if you
have to keep adding something to something else
to make it better, it's kind of hard to beat
the once. Right, right. It almost makes it more
of an ingredient with potential than it makes
it a fully fledged. Yep. Dessert, so yeah chocolate
cake. I think could pull away with that. Yeah,
I think they do Yeah, I definitely think what's
that one join is that portillo's that makes that
chocolate chocolate cake shape? Yeah, man Well
once again combining these two items right yeah
All right, we have four or five which is always
tough fudge brownies Against cheesecake first
of all how dare you? These are both phenomenal.
I love brownies brownies to me in my heart is
the next level of chocolate cake. Because brownies
are always moist. It's like, oh man. It's like
if fudge and cake had a child. You know? Yeah,
that's it, exactly. I love brownies, a lot. You
could even put that a four -mentioned losing
team vanilla ice cream with fudge brownies. On
top of number four. A little something called
ala mode, I believe. Ala mode, baby. Yeah, that's
good stuff. But I... in my life have never voted
against cheesecake. In fact, I've never voted
for cheesecake because I've never been given
the choice. The opportunity, yeah. But I really,
really love cheesecake. I do too. I do too. Like,
I want to see a world where brownies takes on
chocolate cake, but I think I love cheesecake
too much to let it happen. I do too, and cheesecake
stands on its own. You really don't have to add
anything to it. Right. And if that crust... That
graham cracker crust is just right. Right. Man,
it's perfect. But you can add things to the cheesecake.
Strawberries. Strawberries, cherries. You can
even do that turtle cheesecake. Yes. Shit. I
think brownies is really strong, but I think
cheesecake gets the narrow victor. I think you're
right. Yeah. I do like that. That's good. That's
tough. Five over four. That is tough. And that
moves us. to the 2 -7, number two, chocolate
chip cookie. Beautiful. American. Beautiful.
Can't even say American staple. It might be a
global staple. I think you're right. Versus number
seven, chocolate chip ice cream. Ooh. Now chocolate
chip ice cream is essentially vanilla with a
little pizzazz. Or you can also have mint ice
cream. That mint chocolate chip. Ooh, yeah. That
is good stuff. But... In no world in my mind
just my opinion in no world does it beat out
chocolate chip cookies? That's that's this is
this is another competition another to seven
Yeah, where if you were to combine them into
a chocolate chip cookie chocolate chip ice cream
sandwich You're gonna create a tasty vortex.
Yes both teams combined may win the bracket,
but we can't do that No, we do this now. I think
cookie moves I do too. So cookie moves along
to the final match up here in the dessert bracket
Red velvet cake number three versus number six
sugar. Oh Man, I love sugar cookies But red velvet
cake is really fucking tasty. It's great. It's
epic and when when given the choice When given
the choice I will typically take cookies or ice
cream over cake. I will usually I'll just do
that because I've had too many dry cakes to gamble.
I'm not a huge dessert guy so usually if dessert
is available I'll just have an item and I've
taken too many gambles with cake and lost. It's
been dry. So I'll take the cookies. I lean cookie.
But red velvet cake is really tough to beat.
It's really tough to beat. It's really tough
because your grandmother made an amazing red
velvet cake. There's a few restaurants in Chicago
that make an amazing red velvet cake. There's
a place that I used to go to in Florida. Red
velvet cake that would blow your sack off, man.
It was so good. I love red velvet cake. Might
be my favorite cake, to be completely honest,
of all of the cakes. But sugar cookies are stable.
Here's the thing about sugar cookies. I feel
like they get stale quickly. Oh, sure. If you
have a sugar cookie and it's a soft sugar cookie,
you let set a couple of days. You're like, oh,
I've got those cookies and you go in there. Now
all of a sudden it's crunchy. Right. Now you're
like, it's probably still OK, but now you're
like, oh. Yeah. I missed its prime cookiness.
Yes. Yeah, the soft sugar cookie is its prime.
And you're right with the shelf life. I mean,
this is a tough. This is a tough competition.
This is a tough competition right here. Tough
teams on both sides. I'm torn on this one. I
guess that brings my point down that I was making
earlier that would have put cookies ahead. Right.
Of taking that gamble because you're also taking
the gamble with the age of the cookie. Sure.
Yeah. You know. So maybe that puts red velvet
cake ahead. It could do it. I think it does slightly.
I think it does. Because I do love sugar cookies
too. A close victory. Close victory for the red
velvet cake. Next round, chocolate cake versus
cheesecake. Oh, shit. Right? Well, I think my
previous argument still stands. Yeah. And I think
in my mind, the five beats the one. But you've
still got, you've still got a veto. So if you
don't like where my mind's at. You like cheesecake
over chocolate cake? I like cheesecake over chocolate
cake. Let's go. Let's go! Let's go. The big 5
-1 upset. Upset. Oh, man. Cheesecake moves on.
Now we have chocolate chip cookie versus red
velvet cake. Oh, God. Jesus. The 2 -3. That's
really rough. That's really rough. Now here's
the thing. The same issue with red velvet cake,
hoping it's a moist one rather than a dry one.
That's fair. I don't fuck with crunchy cookies.
It's got to be a chewy chocolate chip. Kind of
like, and I think about this because growing
up in the household that we did, people are always
cooking or baking or doing stuff in the kitchen.
Right. And we baked our cookies whenever somebody
would do those cookies right off that pan when
they're warm. Dude. And moist. Unbelievable.
That's it. Yes. But like you go to the store
and like Chips Ahoy, for example, it's a brand
of chocolate chip cookie. Or if you're in England,
a biscuit, I suppose. Boo. I love my English
listeners. Hi, guys. Anyway, just leave Northern
Ireland alone. Right. So I think about it and
it's just it's crispy. And I don't I don't know.
Like if I have a chips away cookie, I'll have
a cookie. Yeah. Because I just need that little
bit of sugary fix. And then I'm like done with
that. But and you get cookies fresh out of the
oven. That chewy chocolate chip is really tough
to beat. Yeah. But it's got to be the chewy one
the crunchy one just feels like I'm eating a
dog biscuit Kind of sort of in a way yeah But
then we're back on red velvet cake right where
if it's moist it blows your sack off right if
it's a little bit dry It's just kind of meh right
oh man That's tough. It's essentially two teams
That are very strong, but have clear weaknesses.
Yes. It just depends who's hot that day That's
right Now what else a coin flip what more often
do you make at home red velvet cake or chocolate
chip cookies cookies? And they're more accessible
in the grocery store well Is that the coin flip?
I think we just did our own point. Yeah chocolate
chip cookie advances. We're now Have the finals
in this bracket cheesecake versus chocolate chip
cookies the two versus the five. Oh man, I once
again We have had to make arguments. Well, not
really arguing with each other, but arguments
on behalf of these desserts. We've had to make
arguments for chocolate chip cookies to get them
this far. We have. Every match Cheesecake has
been in. One on its own. One on its own. I think
the number five clears it. I think the number
five clears it. Let's go, Cheesecake. Well done.
A deserved victory. No doubt. Ladies and gentlemen
for those of you that have managed to stick with
us on this lovely this journey munch madness
We're now down to four. It's where we cross the
streams. Yep Snack bracket winter versus the
appetizer side bracket We have chips versus wings.
Oh man. Oh Man chips versus wings first seed
chip Versus three seed wings. Yep. Holy That's
I mean I lean wings just because I prefer the
the meal esque Vibe of the wing. Yeah, whereas
like I'm not gonna sit down and eat chips as
My food for that moment. Mm -hmm. I'm gonna sit
down and eat the wings Sure, the chips can accompany
the wings. Perhaps they could but that then makes
them You know, it makes them the Robin to the
Winged Batman. Hmm. Could be. I'm trying to think.
Like, if you're at a Super Bowl party, it's a
table full of food. You got a big bowl of chips.
Whatever chips you like. Say they're your favorite
kind of chip. But you got a big platter of wings
there, too. It's the first thing you're grabbing.
Right. Oh, it's the first thing I'm grabbing.
My favorite chips versus a big bowl of wings.
Yeah. You know what? I grab the chips first.
Do ya? I grab the chips first because I will
enjoy my chips with my dips and then maybe hit
the wings later. Move up. Move up. But you start
with the chips. I think you do. Yeah. Oh, man.
Did I just make an argument for chips? You totally
talked me out of the wings. Yet I think chips
wins, right? Mm -hmm. I do. The one seed beats
the three seed. And that brings us to... Cheesecake
versus tavern -style pizza. Oh my god. That's
almost not even fair. It's not even remotely
fair. That's not fair I feel like I cheated cheesecake
out but oh man That's so tough because if we're
going by the same Logic of both are in front
of you. Which one are you grabbing? Of course?
I'm grabbing the pizza 100 % because desserts
always the last thing you do dessert is the thing
you do if you have room If you don't have room,
you skip dessert. You feel full, you look at
it, and your first thought is, ugh. Yeah. It's
like, ah, shit, maybe I'll revisit this in 30
minutes. Right, exactly. Yeah. But you always
grab the pizza first. 100%. And if I'm full,
I'll still grab a slice of pizza. Right. Yeah,
cheesecake is filling. As desserts go, cheesecake
is filling. So you've got to have room. But if
I'm eating pizza, there's not going to be any
room, because I prioritize the pizza. You're
just going to munch on that pizza. Yeah. man
that five seed cheesecake went a long way but
it's hard to beat tavern style hard to beat it
and then that leaves us with chips versus the
tavern style pizza chips has been on one hell
of a run hell of a run but let's be real let's
let's be real with everybody right now not gonna
happen no not gonna happen so strong not gonna
happen like i almost feel like wings might have
put up a better battle against the tavern style
pizza but once again i just don't sometimes that's
how brackets fall that's how they fall yeah tavern
style pizza the munch madness victory victory
in 2025 2025 tavern style pizza congratulations
you well you've really won nothing we're actually
the winners yeah that's very true because we're
gonna eat you as deserved as as deserved we've
earned it we will find you and we will Tavern
style pizza, congratulations, big round of applause.
Let's go, round of applause for tavern style
pizza. And hopefully you guys have enjoyed it.
If we missed any snack or dessert or whatever,
hiss up. Yeah, if you've been playing along at
home, let us know how your bracket ended up.
How your bracket ended up. Maybe you're sitting
there like, no, pickles. Yeah, you ended up with
fried pickles versus fudge brownies. Then we
need to talk, but... Hey. Let us know. Let us
know. All right. Well, I hope you enjoyed that.
We're going to take a quick break and we'll be
back with Carpe Diem on the Mark Mo Show. We
are back with the Mark Mo Show. your host Mark
Maloney, co -host Aidan Maloney, and it's time
for Carpe Diem. You send us your DMs. We read
them on the Mark Mo Show. We'll answer your questions.
Maybe we'll answer your questions. We're not
contractually obligated. No, we're really not.
But we might do it. Within reason. Within reason.
You send them then we'll think about it. Okay,
is that that's that's who you said it You said
it my man one of us had to yeah well with that
being said. What do you got it got three DMS
today? Gumbo Jenkins asks. I don't know you know
what what if I'm reading it backwards what if
gumbo is the surname oh and Jenkins is the given
this is the gumbo family perhaps could very well
be Jenkins Gumbo asks... Gumboooo Jenkins! What's
your favorite alternative to Grinds My Gears?
Alternative to Grinds My Gears? I love, uh, that
really salts my apple. It salts my apple, chaps
my ass. Yeah, that's a good one. That's, uh,
that's another one. Just the general and straightforward
pisses me off. Pisses me off, yeah. Like if you're
making a bit that really gets me teode Man I'm
so teode Yeah, they're really peanut butters
my tilapia You just made that up yeah, I just
made that up I may actually like that though.
Just use that one whenever I think I might yeah,
that's great Got a DM here from huge man They
ask, how huge is too huge of a man? It depends
if we're still in the basketball mindset, because
I feel like... Eight inches? Huh? Oh, never mind.
Never mind. Never mind. What? What? Whew. Huge
man. I'm warm. I'm warm now, all of a sudden.
What am I doing? What do you mean, huge man?
Where am I? Ha. Ha. Anyway. Well. Well. That's
been the show. See ya. Whew. Warm. Nah, I would
say if we're talking basketball, you could go
seven feet plus, but if I'm like conversing with
somebody and they're like six foot five or taller,
I am unsettled. Yeah. You know? I don't know
how Kevin does it. I don't like craning my neck
up to speak with somebody. Right. But then also
I've kind of been blessed being 6 '1", that I
really haven't gotten used to it. So maybe it's
just a thing I'm not used to people being...
much taller than me, but I feel like 6 '5 and
above, that's just unreasonable. That's just
tall. That's tall, tall. That's tall just to
be tall. Like, he could have stopped. Right.
Like, what's your speciality? What are you trying
to prove? Bonking your head on shit? Like, okay.
Wow, great. Is your name Duck? Right. How's the
weather up there? How's the weather up there,
Chief? Yeah, that's 6 '5 and above is too tall
for a person, I would say. It's fair. 6 '5, 6
'6? Yeah. Say that's just too much. And then
anything above like, if you're talking 300 pounds
of muscle or more than that, I will assume you're
on some type of growth hormone. Exactly. I mean,
that's just, there's no way. You've got like
the Andre the Giant disease. Right, unless you
live at the gym, there's no way that's natty,
you know? No, it's not. In my personal opinion,
yeah. So 6 '5", 300 pounds, anything larger than
that, that's a no -go. I agree. In my opinion.
Yep, I agree. The last DM I received, a cob of
corn asks, what's the best way to consume corn?
Oh, you said it in your at -name, man. Just on
that cob, baby. Buttered up, salted, cob of sweet
corn, maybe fresh off the grill. Yep. Well, that's
what you do. When it's raw, before you cook it,
you slather it in butter. Oh, yeah. You salt,
you pepper, whatever you like on it. Some people
use, like, the cayenne or whatever. Oh, yeah,
for sure. A little kick to it. Little peppers,
yeah. And then you put it on the grill, but you
wrap it in tin foil. Then you put it on the grill.
Keeps that moisture in. Yeah. Yeah. It's a smart
move. And then you take your steaks or your chops
off or your burgers. Then you got that corn.
It's ready to roll. Beautiful. Yeah, Cobb is
fantastic. I would say in chip form, corn chips.
Corn tortilla chips. Oh, I like that. Yeah, we
went with that. Yeah, that's a fantastic way
to consume corn Yeah, I like like cream corn
as like a side on Thanksgiving or sister Alex
loves cream She with that kid man. She would
eat cream corn any time. Yeah, like as a side
I think it's fantastic and we always make that
same argument of like well, we all love Thanksgiving
food so much Why do we all need why do I hear
right exactly same could go for cream corn? I
only ever eat it during Thanksgiving time. You're
right same so An interesting thought. Interesting
thought, very thoughtful advice. If you're a
regular cream corn eater, head us up. Yeah, let
us know. We want to know who you are. Yeah, and
why. And why. I'm very curious. Just inquisitive.
That was the last DM I got. All right, I'm going
to move on to mine. This is from atbouttoloseit.
Oh, OK. Hi, guys. Love your show. What do you
guys do to relax? Shit's been crazy lately, and
I need to chill. Boy, that's a great question.
And a lot of us are living that as well. Yeah,
I would say you could try heroin. Whoa. So what
you're gonna wanna do is you're gonna wanna get
some H. Right. Let's start there. Worked out
great for Kurt Cobain. Oh, too soon? Too soon.
Not soon enough. Not soon enough. Now, a more
serious answer I would say, I've been spending
so little time on social media recently. Like,
I hardly open Facebook, I've been opening Reddit
less and less, I rarely use Instagram or anything
like that. The less time you spend on social
media, I guarantee the happier and more relaxed
you will feel. Because it's just... I mean, not
to get all like, boomer, all kids on their phones
these days, but it's true. Not maybe in the way
they're thinking about it, but it's true in the
fact that social media really sucks you in. And
I mean the amount of scientific studies out there
that prove like the more time you spend on Facebook
legitimately the less happy you are. So I would
say start there, spend less time on social media.
I would say one thing that always helps me calm
down especially after a long work day is just
a big bowl of mac and cheese, a brewski, and
throwing something funny on my TV. Comfort food,
a beer. and something funny. Yeah. Yep, that's
true. I'd say that's steps one, two, and three.
Also a shower. Like if you're physically stressed.
Agreed. The first thing you do, work boots off,
hop in the shower. Instant refresh. Yep. I absolutely
agree with that. That was gonna be my answer,
like part A and part B. Part B is go to bed.
Take a nap. Oh, smart. Just shut down. If you're
kind of... in that mode where you need to take
it down a notch, take a nap. Yeah, that's smart.
Take that hot shower, take a nap, wake up refreshed
and just slowly kind of get back into it. Yeah,
because stress and tiredness go hand in hand.
They do. Stress is a killer. Right. That's not
what you want. Nope. And if you're too stressed,
like we were saying earlier about the heroin,
I mean, it's a thought. All right, let's take
H off the table for right now. Oh, if it's not
an option. Let's just assume everybody doesn't
have heroin in their top left desk drawer. Oh,
you guys don't? No, Aiden. No, we don't. But
let's just maybe throw on the table, maybe a
pen, maybe some edibles, maybe something like
that. Right. A little indica. Yeah, something
to bring you down some. I unfortunately live
where it's not legal and I am tested to ensure
I'm not on it. Although we can drive an hour
in either direction and to get it legally. Right.
Which is weird. It's almost like the state we
live in is pretty dog shit and is just losing
tax revenue because they're egotistical and or
legitimately stupid. They're just legitimately
stupid. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Interesting how
that works. But yeah, that's a good idea. Indeed
it is yeah indeed quite indubitably hmm at Mike
check Chuck all my man I'm always singing dudes
if I were at karaoke and you jump up on stage
What are you belting out my guys? Oh? Oh? That's
a good question That's a good question if it's
I Depends what crowd I'm around right yeah cuz
like If I'm with the boys and we got a couple
of them up there, I'm cracking out something
Frank Sinatra. You know, we'll sing. Yeah. Fly
me to the moon. Yeah, we'll crack out some Frankie.
That could be a good one. I would say if I'm
feeling edgy, maybe some type of rap track, maybe
not like us, even though I would really have
to be cautious to ensure to censor words I'm
not allowed to say. You replace it with something.
Right, replacement. Yes. So I think that's got
potential. Mm -hmm. Yeah, probably one of those.
I think gin and juice does not have any end bombs
in it. So you could just go up there saying gin
and juice. You could do that. And that's a solid
choice. That's a solid choice. It's a song everyone
knows. Yep. So yeah, gin and juice not like us
or anything Frank Sinatra would be for me. I
agree. It depends who you're with or what you're
doing. Because last night I made mention earlier
in the show we ended up at a late bar called
Duffy's and there was a band they were pretty
decent and After the band stopped it went back
To the jukebox which immediately filled up with
all sorts of music. So this song by Marvin Gaye
and Tammy Terrell Ain't no mountain high enough
started playing. Oh sure. Well My friend Jess
and I, we immediately start belting it out. She's
doing the girl parts, I'm doing the guy parts.
All of a sudden I'm like, you know, karaoke terrifies
me. You're talking about a guy that lives behind
a microphone, whether I'm seeing, or I have my
radio show, or this podcast, and the thought
of me going up in a bar, where 95 % of the people
aren't gonna give a shit anyway, and singing
something terrifies me. I'd almost rather get
in a shark cage. And that says a lot for you
and that says a lot for me, but we like did that
and I said if I ever do this I Will do this song
with you. I said, that's it. Yeah, I said and
if I get past that it takes some of that anxiety
away. Yeah, then Aidan and I have discussed in
the past about doing this song what you won't
do for love. Oh Bobby Caldwell Bobby Caldwell
the Blackest white man ever so soulful so so
it's like Indiana Jones He does the dudes disease
got several vibes going at once and we had talked
about doing that So that might have to be my
second song, so we'll see how that goes. That's
a great idea Mike check Chuck. That's that's
good call -out Definitely good at so over at
23 This is deep. Had a friend to betray me, a
boyfriend cheat on me, and a boss throw me under
the bus in the same week. Wow. What should I
do? Hitmen are too expensive. You know what?
You are a strong independent woman, I assume.
You're a strong independent being. Become a hitman
yourself. There you go. Go out there. Judge,
jury, executioner. Damn right. You could even
bring an axe. Build a guillotine in their front
yard and say, come on. Let's go. Come on. You
know what's up. Absolutely. Yeah. Well, here's
what I would say. If you had a friend that betrayed
you, then they're not a friend. So you just cross
that one off the list altogether. It's a good
mindset. So that's a mindset. This is like, you
know what? Friends like that, you don't need
enemies. Gone. Immediately off the table. And
then you got the boyfriend that cheated on you.
Well, if he cheated on you, that's, to me at
least, that's a deal breaker. Completely. Yep.
Because... I'm from the school of once a cheater,
always a cheater. Very true. So I... It's one
of the largest breaches of trust imaginable.
Oh, 100%. If you're not happy with someone, then
just end it and then go be with that other person
if that's what you want to do. Right. So, boom,
cross that one off. Now you're just left with
one. You're left with your boss. So you got a
couple of options there. Number one, just quit.
So many boomers have the mindset now you gotta
stay at your job. You gotta stay at your job
until you have another job Do you know how hard
that is? So you're just saying take take dog
shit Up your ass week after week month after
month until maybe you find something else Now
if you are being treated like shit at work Option
number one, especially in Indiana, which is a
right to work state You have the right to pack
up your shit and walk out the door true Go on.
See you later. Have fun doing my work. Right.
Or having some of these other flunkies try to
do it. Yeah. Number two, play the game. Play
the game. If you got a boss like that and they
want to throw you under the bus or do shit like
that, all right. Be vindictive. Yeah. Don't give
a shit. Be like, that's the game you want to
play. We're going to play it. Right. Start keeping
your own paper trail. Exactly. You could start
going above their head. Fuck it. I'm sure their
boss wants to hear what's really going on. Mm
-hmm. Because chances are if they've done that
to you, they've done it to others. Sure. Which
means there's a paper trail, which means there's
skeletons in that person's closet. Go to war.
Right. Go to war if that's what they want to
do. You know another thing bosses hate? unionized
laborers. Hey, how about that? Just get a conversation
started. Mm -hmm. Just get a conversation started
with your coworkers. Hey, what if we join a union?
Yep. It's an idea. It is an idea. Make sure that
you are spoken for. Hang in there, so over it.
Damn right. Trust me, you are not alone in these
types of situations, so be strong, screw these
other people, and don't hire. Don't hire a hitman.
That is an expensive proposition. Very expensive.
Just do it yourself. DIY. DIY that shit. That's
exactly right. The last one I have today, at
stonerstanley420. Oh, my man. Hey, Alan and Momo.
It is the Mad Marchness. It is, Stan. That it
is. For the bouncy ball guys. I have the California
Dog Boys winning over the Wet Bandits. Where
did my money go? Oh, Stanley, you are a precious
fellow. Yes, isn't he? I would say stick with
weed. Gambling is not going to be your forte.
No. And believe it or not, I had the California
Dog Boys also. Just running the table. We're
in the same boat. And yeah, go out there and
bouncy ball with the guys maybe sometime. That's
what I'm thinking. Yeah. You might enjoy that.
Lookin' stoner, Stanley. I love Stanley. Stanley,
you're the best. Anyway, that brings us to the
other foods. So there are foods, like we just
talked about in our Munch Madness. Tasty foods.
Tasty, lovely foods. Well, Aidan finds the foods
that would make a billy goat puke. So I'm interested,
what did you find for us today? Well, on the
other foods, I found another drink. Oh, a beverage?
A beverage, a little something called baby mouse
rice wine. Oh no, oh no. Baby mouse rice wine.
This, I'm just gonna read this article. Okay.
From culinaryschools .org. Oh. Baby mice, what
is baby mice wine? Oh no. Acquiring minds wanna
know what better to wash down your gelatinous
lumps of live fish than a nice chilled cup of
dead mice Baby mice wine is a traditional Chinese
health tonic which apparently tastes like raw
gasoline. Oh God little mice eyes still closed
are prepped plucked from the embrace of their
loving mothers and stuffed while still alive
into a bottle of rice wine They are left to drown
and ferment while their parents wring their tiny
mice paws in despair, tears drooping sadly from
the tips of their whiskers. Oh, that's hilarious.
Wow. They get James Joyce to write this? Holy
hell. A different article I found. In China,
you can find rice wine with creatures at the
bitum in the parentheses mice corpses newborn
mice simply enter the wine when they drown They're
not much older than three days They have no coat
and their eyes are closed in one bottle 10 to
15 baby mice are allowed to drown The wine is
then left to ferment with the corpses for at
least 14 months The taste can be likened to gasoline
and can be attributed to the rotting dead baby
mice That's... That's so gross. That's sick.
That is sickening. Ugh. Yeah, baby mouse, race
wine. Yuck. If anyone out there has tried it...
Let us know. I was just about to say keep it
to yourself, but you could also let us know.
See, I'm just curious. I'm a curious boy. Yeah.
Curiosity killed the mouse, I guess. Oh, hey,
I like what you did there. Okay, not bad. Just
keep that to yourself. Anyway, we're gonna take...
If you look at the images, it's disturbing. Oh,
the baby mice. Oh, the baby mouse rice wine.
Oh, yeah. Well, when I do my social media, you
know, when I fire shit out, letting everybody
know that we have a new episode up, I usually
do this photo montage of all the things that
we've discussed in our episode. Right. I will
share a lovely picture of said mice rice. wine
yeah as the lord intended oh god with that we
are taking a much needed break and we will be
right back with you just made the list hey there
everybody we are back uh from uh that Amazing
Carpe Diem segment So please keep sending them
to us Here at the Mark Mo show reach out on the
socials like subscribe all that fun stuff We're
now onto you just made the list. It's a top 10
list of well -held just about everything there
is to make a list of Good stuff bad stuff in
between we do it 10 to 2 and then our big number
one reveal and the only rule No rules. No rules,
man. Nuh -uh. None. Be like, oh, can I do this?
Can I do that? Yeah. Sure. Sure. Did you see
the rule? There's no rules. No rules. You're
welcome. Only rule? No rules. All right. We're
going to get things started. Top 10 worst smells.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Top 10 worst smells. And
there are plenty out there. There's a lot of
bad ones. There's a lot of bad smells. There's
a lot of good smells. There's a lot of bad smells.
A lot of bad smells. So I've kept this to ten.
So I'll do my ten to two. Number ten, driving
by garbage dumps. Oh yeah. You used to do that
on the south side of Chicago. You pass a big
dump there. There's another dump in Indiana somewhere.
It's a couple, yeah. Yeah, that are kind of stinky.
But here's the thing. In Illinois, it's been
drowned out. Now when you drive on the south
side, all you smell is marijuana. Oh, yeah. That's
so true. All you smell is marijuana. So first
of all, good for them. Yeah, must be nice. And
secondly, thank you for taking the garbage out
of the air. Yeah. Number nine, fish, cooked or
not. Ah. You stink fish. It's not even the smell
of the ocean, because the ocean just smells like
salty, humid air. Yeah. No, fish have a scent.
They have a scent. Yeah. And see here's the thing
like I can take a steak I can buy it at the grocery
store take it take it out of that cellophane
or whatever I Put my nose up to it and I'm indifferent
like it doesn't have a pungent odor if it does
throw away, right? It doesn't have a pungent
odor just smells like meat Yeah, it just doesn't
you know chicken really doesn't have a doesn't
have a scent really an odor or pork or anything
like that, but Fish stinks. It's a very distinct
smell. It stinks. You can walk into any restaurant
and if you smell fish, I guarantee there's like
a couple fish things on their item, but that's
all the restaurant smells like. It's fish. It's
fish. Yeah, oh yeah, for sure. Overpowering scent.
No doubt. Number eight, locker rooms. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. Just that musty, humid pile of dirty
towels and... Wet man dick and whatever else,
you sweaty ass crack. Nope, not a fan. No, not
at all. You'd think the locker room's where you
go to get clean, you know, hit the showers, but
nope. It smells. It smells like man ass. It smells
like man ass, yeah. Number seven. Gases that
emanate from your rear. Yeah. Yep. A fart. A
fart will do it. I've done them in the car with
people in it. They have stuck their heads out
the window Not proud of that boy. That's a rough
one. I'm proud of that in a weird roundabout
way It's it's one of those things where you're
surprised that your own body was able to produce
such a a Weapon of ass destruction. Yeah. Yeah
for sure. Yeah, no doubt. It's unique It is unique
that we have that power that ability. Yeah, I
mean usually humans Don't smell like much maybe
underarm deodorant or whatever else on a regular
basis But yeah, just what happens inside the
human body is so foul. It is foul. Yeah. Yeah,
there's no question Number six burnt popcorn.
That's a rough one. That's actually have a crazy
story Yeah Regarding this I love this on your
list. I did not put it on mine. I could feel
kind of stupid but I made a mistake one day.
While I was working at this local bakery, which
we both have experience working at, someone brought
McDonald's for us, and probably the GM brought
McDonald's for all of us, and there was a hash
brown that had sat in the back for a while and
no one was claiming it. I was like, oh fuck it,
I'll have it, but it was cold. So I'm like, oh,
we don't have any toasters because we don't actually
bake anything there, so I put it in the microwave.
And I forgot about it. And I forgot how long
I set it for. Oh, no. Four minutes pass. The
microwave is still running and the entire establishment
smells like burnt popcorn. I open the door, a
plume of smoke comes out. I'm like, oh, God.
We had to like open both of the doors. Like people
would come in and be like, oh, weird. I was like,
oh, man. Like, this is funny because I don't
really care about the place, but at the same
time, it is 100 % my fault. Why does this bakery
smell like burnt popcorn? Right, and why does
a burnt hash brown, why does a microwaved burnt
hash brown smell like popcorn? Smell like popcorn.
Smell like popcorn. I was like, oh my god. I've
discovered something. Interesting, very interesting.
And yet hilarious at the same time. Oh yeah.
Number five, the Too Much Perfume Girl. Oh yeah.
Where it's like, look. They got that little flowery
scent whatever quite frankly. I like the more
manly smelling perfumes Sure, the super flowery
ones, but if you have too much of any of it on
it's too much too much It gives me a headache.
I move off that there's there's a certain subset.
I would say 60 to 70 year old white women who
frequent Walgreens are Almost always the too
much proof perfume girl. Yeah. Oh, yeah Which
is kind of weird, but I go off, I guess. Yeah,
I agree with that. Something I did not have on
my list, which I could have had on my list, is
going into a Yankee candle. That place. Fuck
that place. Oh my god. Just an assault on the
senses. Just the 25 different scents all emanating
from these candles. How is that a good smell?
It's not. How the fuck are the employees there
not completely anosmic? I get a headache, but
when I leave I have a headache. It's insane.
Yeah, it's bad. Number four, the too much cologne
guy. Oh, yeah. They're even worse. You smell
like a fucking Hollister, buddy. Oh, yeah. Yeah,
it's bad. Yeah. It's terrible. And why do Hollisters
smell like too much perfume guy? Yep. Oh, exactly.
Yeah. Get yourself some help. Stop it. Stop it.
Stop it. I'm Michael Jordan. I'm Michael Jordan.
Number three, rotten garbage. Oh, yeah. When
you get that garbage and it's hot, it's 85 degrees
in the summer, and maybe the bag ripped open,
or you have some raccoon that's an ass and tears
some shit open, and it's sitting in there for
days and you pop it open, it's like, oh, god.
Vom. That is a bad smell. It's a really one.
Yeah, that's... And number two, spoiled milk.
Oh, yeah. Oh yeah. You see it and it's like,
it's about four or five past due date and you're
like, oh, it should be fine. And then you open
it and you're like... Right. Or God forbid it's
gotten to the point where it starts puffing out
some and you're like, oh no. It's a bomb. It's
a bomb. Yeah. So, Spoiled Milk, my number two.
I will hold on to my number one. All right. I've
got... I'm going to run 10 through two as well.
Save my number one. Number 10. My work boots
after a 95 degree work day. Oh, that's a good
one. That's a bad one. Yes. Yeah, it's almost
in line with your number eight locker rooms Yeah,
very similar scent just that nasty stanky sock
boot smell I know I've been sweating my ass off
and then It's just it's rough. It's really rough.
It's like holy shit. I'm like building colonies
of whatever Whatever boot bacteria is in here.
Oh, yeah, like oh no virtual megalopolis Number
nine, the water treatment plant at the edge of
town. Smells. Smells like sewage because that's
what they do, right? That's what they do. That's
what they do. God bless them for it. I know it's
necessary. It's one of the better ways of, you
know, cleaning water. But man, it's rough. Oh,
yeah. Especially summertime, that's rough. Number
eight, the rotten zucchini you forgot was in
the back of the fridge. That seems very specific.
Very specific. And very gross. Like you can tell
it's starting to juice everywhere. It's got more
white on it than it does green. Yeah, that's
bad. That's yucky. That's a yucky scent. Your
whole fridge smells like, like, nast. Nasty.
For weeks afterwards. Number seven. White Castle,
approximately 30 hours after you eat it. Yeah.
Because somehow it smells the same going out.
as it went going in, but then you also add the
scent of feces. Yeah. It's so unique, uniquely
bad. It is bad. No other fast food establishment
produces that result. Oh, no way. In my opinion.
Nope, it doesn't. Not at all. Number six, the
dumpster juice from behind any Burger King. Yeah.
Because Burger King is that dog shit food slop,
hardly edible nonsense. Anyway. And then you
add the dumpster juice that they produce. Dumpster
juice is bad. Dumpster juice could have made
my list. Sure. Oh yeah. But you add the specificity,
now it's a number six level. Number five. The
Great Northern Indiana Steel Mills. Ah, that's
a good one. Yeah, they smell. Sulfur, whatever.
Yeah, sulfur, sulfuric, chemically nasty pollution.
Like, breathing air in East Chicago feels like
I'm going to get cancer. Yeah. It feels like
I'm gonna die young if I breathe too much of
this. Yeah, I feel like if I take a deep breath
on a walking trail near the mills, I'm gonna
sprout a third eye. Yeah. Like that's that shit
that makes me know like the EPA doesn't give
a fuck. Nope. Is because the air feels unbreathable
five miles away from the plants. Oh yeah. If
you swim anywhere near those plants. God forbid.
I got an earache. Yeah. Because I distinctly
remember getting water in my ear because you're
fucking around in the water, whatever. I was
like, ah, one of those things where you tug on
your earlobe because you're trying to clear the
water, whatever. A couple of days later, had
an earache. Had an earache for about a week.
Yeah. Yeah, Lake Michigan in Indiana is damn
near uninhabitable. It's bad. Because of industry.
Yep. Number four, dog shit after you step in
it. Oh God, I didn't even think about dog shit
in general. Yeah, that's bad. It's like Because
when it sits out, right then the Sun kind of
bakes it a while That's why like scooping it
and throwing like getting rid of it is usually
not super unpleasant but stepping in it Exposes
all of this fresh shit scent. Yeah, that was
previously Encapsuled in its heart outside and
now it's on you now. It's on your shoes. You're
walking around smelling like that That just adds
the negativity. I have a good dog shit story.
Go ahead I'm a kid and one of my friends John.
He had this big white fluffy dog. It's a Samoyed
I think is a big boy name of the dog or the bird
breed I guess and So we're at his house And of
course, because it's a big dog, it takes really
big, massive shits. Right. And we're out in the
yard, and his dog is back there. And all of a
sudden, the dog's like, woo, woo, woo, woo, and
making all these noises. Oh, shit. And he's like,
I'm trying to think how old we were. I think
maybe like eighth grade, seventh grade, if you're
Canadian, grade eight. Right. And we love you.
Some of us love you guys down here anyway. So.
the dog is just screaming and he's like oh my
god he's like really upset and meanwhile i am
biting my lips so hard to stop from laughing
my ass off because this dog is one leg in it
man and trying to push out whatever is in there
this dog had a mastodon pile of shit oh my god
that isn't the best part though apparently it
ate a barbie doll Oh no. So it was a massive
pile of shit with a Barbie doll head on it. And
I'm fucking laughing my ass off. The dog immediately
went late in a corner like... Oh my god. That
was like giving birth to that dog. The dog's
ass is gonna be sore for a week. A Barbie head
came out of its asshole. Oh my god. Oh my god,
I was dying. That's fucking crazy. And it's stuck.
And it's time. Yeah, he was like my sister was
looking for that. I could tell tell her you found
it Tell you found it tell her where it's at.
Oh my lord. Oh, yeah And smelly big tip treat
your dogs like toddlers. Don't let them eat anything
like that Especially Barbie dog right my god
number three on my list the flatulence of Kevin
Boland You had farts on your list, which is fantastic,
but I felt I had to be specific. That was specific.
Because my good friend Kevin Boland, really,
really funny guy, but he has such a unique way
of making human beings disperse from any given
area. He bends over and he speaks from his rear.
And that shit is loud. That is loud, and it stays.
It stays. Like, you can crack the windows open,
turn the fans on, light candles. Days later,
you will walk into that room and be like, ah.
It's a dense fog. It is a dense fog, and it's
such a uniquely bad smell. Like, farts are stinky.
Right, it smells like human shit. But his, oh
my god. Oh my god. Bad. It's a unique experience.
Number two on my list. spoiled milk left out
on the countertop. There you go. Yep. Our number
twos were exactly the same. Ugh. It's spoiled
milk. It's so bad. It's the only dairy product
I know of that contains that uniquely horrific
scent. Yeah. Like spoiled cheese is gross, slimy,
gets moldy, whatever, you throw it away, it's
fine. But spoiled milk is so special in how horrible
it smells. I agree, it's disgusting. I'm not
a fan. That brings us to our number ones, don't
know if those would be the same. Mine is body
odor. Now to be specific, and this is more personal,
if for example, say I'm working in the yard,
I'm doing something outdoors, it's warm, you're
gonna sweat, whatever. and you forget to put
your underarm deodorant on. Oh, that's rough.
And you're out there and you're working and immediately
you don't notice it right away unless of course
your arms are always up over your head. You don't
notice it right away until it's like, oh yeah,
time for a water break and you go inside and
you get a glass of ice water and you're sitting
there and you're like, and you're like, wait
a minute. Yeah. Wait a minute and you lift up
your arm and it's like your eyes almost crossed.
It's like, oh yeah. Forgot the deodorant. Right.
Holy hell. You know, but I kind of just threw
body odor, because it could be anything. Like
when you're out there sweating your ass off,
could be your ass, could be anything, just your
general body odor. But under the arms specifically,
it's rough. Get real dodgy if you forget that.
Oh yeah. Man, it gets bad. It's like those 95
degree work boots are all of a sudden six inches
away from your face. Exactly. Knowing damn well.
You are producing that scent actively right now.
It's like, oh no. It's like, okay, time for a
shower stat. It's especially embarrassing when
you're out. When you're out. You're out somewhere.
Because you're smelling it and you're like, man,
if anybody's close to me, they're going to smell
it. Right. Yeah, that's a rough one. Yeah, for
sure. That's a rough one. All right, your number
one. My number one. A porta potty on a hot, humid
summer day. That is an excellent. It's right.
I think about porta potty public restrooms are
gross I mean, thank God they're there cuz you
know you keep you need them Yeah, keep pissing
shit off the street, which is a plus But public
restrooms are bad porta potties are especially
worse because they contain no plumbing They have
to you have to have someone come out and service
it refresh it now imagine that day three no servicing
It's human as hell 90 degrees outside. Yeah,
maybe you're at an event. I got a piss you walk
inside. Nope Nope, I'll hold it. Oh, for sure.
Whoever was in here last did me dirty and everyone
else dirty. Yikes. 100%. Yeah, porta potties
are nasty. They are so nasty. Necessary yet nasty.
Yes. A fair combination of both. Well that concludes
our You Just Made the List. If you have anything
that we missed you want to share please feel
free on the socials. That brings us to our next
segment review preview. I actually went and saw
a movie and enjoyed it quite a bit It was a movie
called Novacane so And when the girl of this
guy's dreams gets kidnapped He turns his inability
to feel pain into an unexpected advantage as
he fights a bunch of thugs to get her back Stars
Jack Quaid, Amber Midthunder, Great Last Name,
Jacob Badalana, Ray Nicholson It is a fast -paced
thriller with an unlikely hero movie has a lot
of heart and Despite the chaos and violence of
the movie because it's very violent But it's
also rather funny So I enjoyed it. I enjoyed
the pacing I enjoyed the the several laughs that
I had and all that kind of good stuff So I give
it a very very solid seven point nine out of
ten. That's righteous I thank you if you go out
you're definitely gonna enjoy it And this has
potential for kind of a series, I think. So very
fun, though. That's righteous. Definitely fun.
My preview movie coming up here. A working man,
Lavon Cade, left behind a decorated military
career in black ops to live a simple life of
working construction. However, when human traffickers
kidnap the boss's daughter, his search to bring
her home uncovers a world of corruption far greater
than he ever. could have imagined. The film stars
Jason Statham and the release date is March 28th.
I've always likened Jason Statham to the white
Denzel Washington. Ha! Yes, that's pretty accurate.
Just the constant badass, always somehow a little
bit mad. Never over plays a role just like it's
just in his wheelhouse exactly precisely Yeah,
I saw the trailer to this one. It looks really
good. Mm -hmm. It does so I'm definitely looking
forward to that but highly recommend Novocaine
It's fast -paced thriller Gory violence good
gory violence, but you're gonna giggle too. So
it's just it's good stuff Just like so ridiculous
in some spots. It's just funny Yeah, it's like
they're there like they're they're not trying
to be anything than what this movie is. It's
style I love it. It was really good brings us
to our next segment semi related In that it could
be a movie could be a TV show could be a game
YouTube whatever While you were sleeping so Aiden
tell us what the hell we slept on what you guys
have been sleeping on this little video game
that I've been really enjoying playing. Astroneer.
Astroneer is a very fun game. It's like sandbox,
adventure, crafting, build -your -own -world
style game in a semi -cartoony art style. It's
released by IndieDev System Era Softworks. Came
out in the late 2010s on, I think, PS4, PS5 era...
Consoles and PC and switch as well sure so the
character you play as is the Astroneer so kind
of like the adventuring astronaut style guy and
You are just dropped onto unfamiliar planets,
and you have to essentially Survive while crafting
your world. It's I think the word colonizing
is kind of the maybe gives the wrong idea but
it's essentially what you're doing just without
the you know genociding of natives right the
english are used to it's more so you're just
making the planet somewhat habitable so you're
out there you're you know collecting resources
you can only be off your oxygen tether for so
long so it's it's really fun stressful at times
i'll give it that because You know, it's almost
the same thing as like cave diving, because once
you're off your oxygen tether, you just have
what's in your tank, and God forbid you don't
make it back in time. But yeah, you go out and
you collect little bits of this world, kind of
make it your own. It is really charming and fun,
and just an easy way to lose several afternoons.
But yeah, Astroneer, highly recommend. Astroneer.
Yes. That looks phenomenal. It's very cute. Looks
fun. Yes, and I just love indie devs, independent
game makers. It's just, the games they make always
seem to have so much more heart than any AAA
or quadruple A studio making whatever dogshit
slop they sell for $80. Because every indie game
is five, ten... Dollars, you know, you're talking
the most pricey indie games are 30 or 40 bucks,
but you can still lose You know 50 to 100 hours
into them. Oh easily. So yeah, I highly recommend
Astroneer Astroneer it is make sure you check
that out. We're gonna take our final break and
when we return it's back the world of weird news
and our beer review of the week. Coming up! Alright
everybody, we are back for our last couple of
segments here on the Mark Mo Show podcast. I
want to thank everybody for listening week in
and week out. We appreciate each and every one
of you. We're going to have some fun stuff coming
your way as well. Some more interviews coming
up. We've had one interview called Fireside Chats.
We've had one of those so far. Got a few more
coming up. Other than that just week in and week
out of chaos and shenanigans and tomfoolery and
and high jinx high jinx plural That that is for
certain. So what we've got now is our beer review
Of the week and this particular week somewhat
dedicated to what's going on now, which we talked
about a little bit. Munch Madness. Munch Madness.
Well, yeah. Basketball. But, well. Illegal gambling.
Well, a little. Chinese checkers. My man. My
man. My man. Munch Madness, baby. And we've got
a logger called Play Hard. It is produced by
Sun King. I like very much. what they do. Gene
Cady's Playhard. Gene Cady used to be a long
time coach of the Purdue Boilermakers. And he's
got this Playhard Lager. And kind of a little
caricature of him on the can, which is kind of
fun. And we're going to see how this goes. Yeah.
American Lager. Sun King, I believe, has breweries
in Indiana and Florida, which is pretty cool.
Nearby Hoosier Brewery. Making a lager not for
the Hoosiers. But of course as you mentioned
Purdue Jean Katie's play hard Yeah, and we're
gonna we're gonna rank it for you on a scale
to five Give you notes if you are enjoying a
brew ski at home cilantro to you Absolutely and
a cilantro to us Cheers That was quite smooth.
Oh, yeah, she's smooth Wow Wow, that's that is
quite enjoyable I can imagine drinking a lot
of these, holy cow. I was just about to say the
word crushable comes to mind. Whoa, yeah, holy
cow. 4 .5%, so it's on the lighter version of
that. Little bit, yeah. 5 % middle of the road
percentile, but boy, that's smooth. By the way,
we're not sponsored by any of the breweries we
mentioned. Nope, just independent reviews. Yeah,
independent reviews. Gene Katies play hard. is
really, really smooth. I will give it that. Light
-bodied, the flavor profile they provide, we're
using the app Untapped. Untapped, yeah. A beer
view app, not sponsored, of course. The flavor
profile they suggest, light -bodied, crushable,
smooth, clean, sendable. Light -bodied, I'll
give it that. Most lagers are usually lighter.
Lighter. Lighter in flavor. I even said crushable.
I'll give it that. Smooth, for sure. Clean. Yeah,
I'd say clean clean. I said the word clean a
lot you do clean. I like that I'm usually not
a big lager guy because When I drink brewskis,
I usually like to enjoy them for the flavor.
So I'll get like he's the IPA's Imperial any
kind of stout or porters right up my alley. This
is really tasty this is a really smooth and tasty
I Like I give that a three seven five. I'm pleasantly
surprised. Yes Now you know me, I'm more of a
lager guy. I kind of prefer a little bit of the
lighter beers, if at all possible. Not that I'm
against a good hearty stout or ale or anything
with a high flavor profile or an IPA or anything
like that. From time to time I do rather enjoy
them. Sure. But just your average day out, I'm
a lager guy. That's just kind of what I like.
I like making my own shandies. Oh, smart. To
get that fizzy lemonade and a good lager. Like
this, I immediately thought this is such a good
clean lager, it would be perfect. Yes. To make
like a shandy or anything else with. And in all
honesty, you don't even need to... dilute this
because it's already so smooth. Right. Where
some other lagers can have a bite, especially
the Pilsner style lagers can have a little bite
to them. This one you could add lemon juice to.
Absolutely. To make a change. It's phenomenal.
Yeah. Really enjoy. Yeah, definitely. Since I
do prefer the lagers. I gave it four and a half
I gave four point five solid it is it is On the
lager scale. I think it's kind of on the high
end. Yes for me at least that was the play hard
lager By Sun King. So if you have it we highly
recommend it I'm not sure if it's more geared
towards Indiana because it does have the Purdue
guy on it, right? So maybe it is But if you can
get it where you're at, I highly recommend it.
Certainly, absolutely. All right, well that is
our beer review. Official beer review of the
week. Official beer review of the week, indeed.
Man, I just went ahead and saved my score in
the app. Beautiful. If you are a beer fan, I
highly recommend getting the app. It's just a
little bit of added fun. True, yeah. To your
beer drinking over the weekend. I am now, let's
see, I've unlocked a badge. Oh, what we got?
I'm now up to photogenic brew level two. Oh,
taking the pictures. Taking the picture of the
beers. My man. They apparently like that. I unlocked
another badge, the Logger Jack. Hey, you were
just saying that. After a long day, this is their
words, ladies and gentlemen. After a long day,
what better way to kick back than with a crisp
and refreshing logger? You're already feeling
more relaxed, aren't you? Damn right. That's
five different loggers. Try five more for level
two. Beautiful. Life's short. Enjoy a brewski.
Oh, 100%. No doubt. could get that printed on
a t -shirt should and then we'll sell it don't
don't steal our merch idea please do not do not
we give enough ideas yeah all right we're off
to the world of weird news to close out our show
this week which is a lengthy show but i hope
you've enjoyed it we've had a lot for you today
the world of weird news just that we scour the
world for the weirdest funniest oddest stories
and we read them to you to find beautiful people
to listen to this podcast. This week, I have
Bulgarian football club Arda Cardzali apologize
after holding a minute's silence for a former
player who is still alive. Oh no. Oops, oopsie,
oopsie. No one went to confirm? Oh, look at that,
he's right there. Damn it. He's like in the crowd
at the game like what what? Am I in the Twilight
Zone? What makes it even better if they did the
moment of silence and the camera pans over to
him. That would be amazing. That would be amazing
and I would give that camera guy an award if
that happened. SNL bit. Oh, at its finest. Art
at Cardzali, which is located in southern Bulgarian
town of Cardzali and to play in the country's
top division. held the minute's silence in honor
of Petko Ganchev before Sunday's game against
Levski Sofia. Oh, rest in peace, Ganchev. Rest
in peace. My guy. I'm going to spill out a little
bit of play hard here for you. No, I'm not. It's
too good. Both teams lined up near the center
circle before kicking off in a 1 -1 draw. bowing
their heads to mourn Ganchev. Oh my lord. But
before the match was over, Arda posted on their
Facebook page saying they had received wrong
information about Ganchev's death. The club said
the management of PFC Arda would like to express
a huge apology to the former Arda player Petko
Ganchev and his relatives after the club received
wrong information about his death. We wish Petko
Ganchev many more years of good health and to
enjoy the success of Arda. The post appeared
to have been deleted by Monday evening. The draw
means Arda are fifth in the 16 -team table and
can still secure a place in European football
next season. Levski stayed second but are 12
points behind the leaders Ludo Goretz. Wow. Well,
best of luck to you, Arda. Let's keep an eye
out on our boy, Garda. Right. Apparently it's
touch and go. They were worried there for a moment.
Oh, that's hilarious. I thought that was a great
story. That was a great story. A moment of silence
for a dude that's not there. Holy, that's great.
I got a story here. from ClickOrlando .com, in
local news, naked greased up Florida man accused
of breaking into two homes, jumping in pool.
Oh no. Deputy's believed suspect was under influence
of unknown substances. You don't say. Really,
yeah, really. Maybe some of that H you were talking
about. My man. My man. This is out of DeBerry,
Florida. A man arrested Friday morning in DeBerry
after he allegedly broke into two homes, then
tried to evade deputies by jumping into a swimming
pool and onto a trampoline, all while naked.
Deputies say they responded around 2 a .m. to
a report of burglary at a home on Highbanks Road.
Encountered the suspect identified as 34 -year
-old Blake Tokman. The sheriff's office said
he smashed out a window to break into a home,
then left and broke into a different house entirely.
Deputies say they encountered him at the second
house. Body worn camera video released by them
shows him running from the deputy, jumping into
a pool, climbing out of the pool and jumping
onto the family's trampoline. The sheriff's office
said it took four deputies to get custody of
him, who kicked or hid the deputies, one of whom
was cut on the arm. In addition to being naked,
they said he was covered in wheel -bearing grease,
peppermint oil, and blood. They say he was under
the influence of an unknown substance or substances.
I could have fucking told you that. Yeah, oh
yeah. They said it took three medical professionals
to secure him on a stretcher for evaluation and
treatment. Three medical techs. Wow. He faces
charges of two counts of occupied burglary, three
accounts of battery on a law enforcement officer,
two counts of criminal mischief and resisting
arrest with violence. That's a rap sheet, brother.
Yeah, you're going to do some time on that one.
Here's why I don't understand. Other than the
B &E which is not bacon and eggs which are delicious
you wish I wish indeed Like I think the guy was
just playing right he was in the pool trampoline
I think he's just having a good time, and you
know, if Mr. Happy's floating about out there,
I mean, that's a problem, but if he's in his
own yard, eh, maybe not. Yeah, who cares? He
dips himself in his own wheel -bearing grease,
don't we all? Don't we all? Sounds like a fun
time. Covered in peppermint oil, maybe he doesn't
like spiders, you know? That's what I'm guessing.
I hear that keeps him away. It does. It definitely
does. So, I think, set my boy free. No doubt.
I'm about to log a protest. Yeah. One dude outside
the jail with a sign. I know everyone's been
talking about jury nullification with our main
man, Luigi. Yo, shout out Luigi. What's up, Luigi?
I think let's jury nullify our wheel oil bearing,
peppermint oiled up trampoline boy. I think that's
fair. Break him out. We need to break him out.
He clearly seems to be stable. If we need to
take this to the Supreme Court, we'll do it.
That is just the guy having a good time. I completely
agree. And in a free country, you're going to
arrest this man in a supposed free country? Get
real. Yeah. I mean, really, you just get up to
the judge and all you have to say is, bitch,
don't kill my vibe. That's all you have to say.
You know how the judge is going to respond? A
word. Word. A word. Word, let that man free,
clank, clank. I don't know, gavels don't go clank,
clank. What does the bang, bang, pop, pop? Bang,
bang. Yeah, I don't know. Whatever fucking noise
they make. Your Honor, my client pleads oopsie
daisy. Oopsie daisy. And time served. He can
go free. And he does have a letter he would like
to read. Yeah, Your Honor, my bad. Oh, my bad.
My bad. You are free to go. Oh, hell yeah. Florida
man. Florida man stories are always great. Yeah,
they have a special place in my heart. Oh, no
doubt. They're the best. The world has these
amazing news stories, and yet some of the best
ones come from our little penis -shaped stage
of Florida. Yeah, so consistently, too. I don't
know if it's being so close to the equator. Or,
I don't know. I don't know why people are so
fucked up in that state. That must have been
where the CIA did all their MK Ultra stuff and
it just passed down generation by generation.
People getting a little loopy. Well, now they're
on their third generation of loopiness and it's
just all hell's breaking loose. Naked dudes running
down highways or drive driving lawnmower machines
down the highway Hiding in storm drain. I mean
just crazy shit throwing alligators through the
Wendy's Drive That's great story after story
ladies and gentlemen. It's it's unbelievable.
It's really a special place in America's heart
indeed it is but that concludes our our Show
for this week episode 8. We hope you have enjoyed
it I want to thank Aidan, my co -host, and his
podcast AK219 for their support on the show.
Aidan does a lot of the backend production stuff
too, so I want to thank him for that. I also
want to thank, we have a lot of local businesses
that support us as well. Tony Greek Grill, Smoketown
Blues Barbecue, Valpo Family YMCA, Curry Ford
of Valpo, Curry Buick GMC. Simcoe Signs, Life
Centers of Valpo, and of course, RG, our guy,
Eric Sanchez, The Entertainer Magazine. Well,
that's it for this week. Thanks so much for listening
in, and please like and subscribe. Have yourself
a great week, and we'll see you in about seven
days. Bye. Bye.