Last time on the Empire Initiative. We rejoined
our heroes in the midst of a creature battle
duel with the Pharaoh of the Pyramid. Reign's
trap card, Incantation Thief, stole the Pharaoh's
Greedy Pottery card, denying him a significant
advantage. Zavari transformed her infernal priestess
into a gunslinging war machine, wearing him down,
allowing Dart, who had transformed the battlefield
into his favorite cranberry bog, to deliver the
final blow. Defeated, the pharaoh offered the
crusaders an astonishing reward. Each of them
would be granted a single wish. This is episode
21, A Wish Your Heart Makes. I have written some
fiction. for the beginning of this episode. Sorry,
it's a little long. I need to get you a music
stand. Yeah. Oh, we have one. So I'm gonna set
this scene, okay? This is a scene visible to
the players, but not the characters. Cut to the
camera panning over a large room, hewn of dark
stone and lumber. From bare support beams hangs
heavy black iron chandeliers with branches caked
in layers of red wax. Firelight flickers atop
their dripping candles, barely illuminating the
chamber. In the center of the room stands three
orcish figures gathered around a hexagonal mahogany
war table. Atop the table is a massive diorama
of the surrounding area, the Wode, the Orchish
Settlements wrapping around the Eternal Citadel.
I'm sorry, the Wode and the Orchish Settlements
wrapping around the Eternal Citadel, which is
the Brin's Tower. The tallest of the orcs is
a broad -shouldered man with a light green complexion,
short dark brown hair slicked back, and thin
tusks adorned with bands of silver and gold.
He's dressed in a well -made maroon padded gambeson
with leather finishings, and around his neck
lays a handful of thin silver and platinum chains,
stylishly layered. His arms are folded and he's
gazing pensively at the massive diorama of the
Wode, eyes fixed on a newly added piece to the
board. A large, roughly hewn from firewood, pyramid,
sitting atop a broken pile of ceramic dust. The
other two orcs stand quietly, an awkward silence
growing between the trio. One of them is a thin
elderly orc man wearing loose robes, and he's
avoiding the gaze of the other two. Beside him
levitates a quill in parchment, the quill floating
as still as the silence. The other orc is a short
orcish woman with soft features, and she's cradling
her heavy belly and quietly breathing through
her discomfort, her brow furrowed with worry
as she looks at her spouse. She places a gentle
hand on his shoulder. Darling, her voice is soft.
He grumbles in response. It is then that the
double doors to the chamber swing open. An orcish
soldier strides into the room with purpose. Behind
him hobbles an older orcish woman with a cruel
grimace. Lokara, the unyielding priestess. Speak,
barks the captain in their native tongue. Captain
Calgren, the interlopers have entered the pyramid.
The floating quill begins to dance, instantly
scribing his words. What? The captain's eyes
widen. Already? Sure. That means damn it. How
were they able to access it? I thought it was
abandoned by those filthy vagrants. The soldier
nods. It seems they arrived shortly after Lokara's
team fled. There was nothing of value recovered
from the dungeon. The enemy has stationed a lone
sentry in the... Lokara interrupts. The fuckers
trapped the damn place! She yells out, raising
her wooden staff. They must have known we were
in there! The whole job was c - Bullshit. She
spat. Kalgrin waved his hand dismissively. And
what of my son, Lokara, am I to understand that
he didn't return? His words sharpened with suspicion.
The lieutenant didn't make it out. Pity dragged
down by the shadows. Her tone was matter of fact,
and she mimed the shadows with a grasping hand.
The orcish woman behind Kalgren grasped and gasped
and covered her mouth, eyes welling up with tears.
Impossible! His voice escalated to a roar, fierce
with anger. He stepped closer, towering over
Lucara intimidatingly. She looked up at him,
unbothered, somewhat amused. Captain Kalgrin,
we tried to save him, but Lokara's words were
cut off. Kala! He bellowed. My son cannot die.
He is of my blood. We are the D 'voors, peerless
in battle. Kalgrin's wife begins sinking to her
knees, a voiceless cry escaping from her throat.
Surely he's alive inside, or he escaped and is
staying out of sight? His voice turned to pleading.
The soldier hung his head. Lucara stood unmoved,
and then the soldier spoke in a softened, mournful
tone. I'm sorry, Captain. So far there's no sign
that the Lieutenant survived. The woman lets
out a wailing cry. She shouts, clutching her
pregnant belly. No! The soldier rushes by her
side to support her as she collapses. My lady,
please allow me to escort you to the resting
chamber. He struggles to say this over her wailing
and the shouting of his superior. Calgren then
looks over to the older man next to him who had
been silently transcribing with his psionic quill.
Send word to the camps. Deploy a team. High priority!
I need that sentry! Kalgrim barked at order to
his scribe. The old man responded in a soft rasp.
At once, Captain. The scribe produced a large
crystal, emerald green, and the size of his fist.
He holds it up and it begins to glow, and the
scribe's eyes become wreathed in green, and he
starts to mouth. wordlessly, his quill still
writing every word spoken aloud. With that settled,
the captain turns back to the priestess. This
is all your fault, Locara! He growls with contempt.
You pitch this doomed mission! You contempt my
son! Death on purpose! The soldier brings Lady
D 'Vor to her feet and carefully escorts her
out of the room, handing her a handkerchief as
she sobs inconsolably. I, Lokara, started with
a superior tone in her voice. I was the only
one who tried to save him. You shouldn't have
assigned your boy to such a dangerous - You are
not here for council priestess. You would do
well to remember your place, he spits. I know
my place, she shouts. You betray us all with
your blind ambition, all these risky fetch quests,
and for what are we done? His eyes were bloodshot,
face red with rage. My place, she continued,
is at our Lord Finn's side, same as yours. You
do not question my loyalty and condemn my truth,
Lokara sneers. If you would but listen to me
for a moment, I think I can recover your son.
His eyebrows raised, and Lokara grinned. She
hooked him. Tell me which! His voice rang with
desperation. Speak faster, I swear to Grotsha!
Rahallah, which means calm the fuck down. I can
call him from beyond the grave, even across the
plains. She gestured and conjured an illusion
of the Astral Sea and a green light being called
forth from it. She held the promise like a morsel
over a starving dog. All I need is a large psionic
crystal, a bit larger than the one that Haval
possesses. She gestures to the scribe, who is
still relaying orders. Calvin let out a reluctant
sigh. Greedy, shy bitch. Let's see what I can
do. And that's the scene. This bitch coming down.
Eri, you good with that? Thank you. Thank you,
God. That was the fiction. So yes, the camera
pans back over to uh the pyramid goes and through
a crack and goes into like snakes around um and
the crusaders are standing before the pharaoh
atem who is awaiting their wishes speak and i
will grant your wish to the best of my ability
Would anyone like to go first? Zavari will step
forward with the sword? Ah yes, Zavari Umbermore.
This is a crazy dream, man. You were a fine duelist.
Though I'm not sure you grasped the mechanics,
but we'll work on that. Probably never. She,
like, looks back to, like, her companions and
she's, like, laughed. I have this sword. This
thing has been really helpful as a lait, and
I still don't know really anything about it or
the weapons like it. I would like to know. more
about them and what they do when they're together.
So your wish is for information? Yeah. Very well.
May I see your sword? It's really heavy. Holy
raw! It is heavy. This is totally impractical.
I know, right? It's a lie. The sword itself is
a lie. He will bring the sword back up to his
little platform and set it on a dais in front
of him. He will say, I will do my best. I admit
that this is better suited for the owner of the
Millennium Eye, but I can draw from its power.
like channels magical duelist energy and His
hair starts like blow back and it's like cape
starts to blow like as if there's like a fan
blowing on him Like he's Beyonce On his forehead
Opens a glowy iridescent eye that's in the same
shape as the eye you guys have been seeing and
His eyes start to glow and you can see that he's
like he's like Like he's looking you can see
his like eyes moving around like underneath this
like iridescent glowing layer as if he's like
scanning Information or looking for something.
He's looking into a different time a different
place. And he does this for several minutes.
How are you guys? Well, that was wild. I saw
myself die. I think we're all having a group
hallucination, honestly. I mean, maybe maybe
we're still outside the maybe The glow fades
and the fan stops. Very interesting wish you
have, Zavari Umbermor. I will tell you I can
give you the best information I was able to find,
but much of it is lost to time. The most accurate
legend that I was able to view with the power
of the Millennium Eye goes a little something
like this. Long ago, from a time before your
years were counted, there existed a grand city
ruled by a shimmering golden dragon of immense
power. The people of the city revered their beloved
ruler and were considered to be its children.
For many generations the city prospered, but
then there came a time when the land was ravaged
by war, and the city's people were threatened
by the followers of an equally powerful black
dragon. This great enemy placed a fatal curse
upon the gold dragon. The gold dragon, nearing
the end of its life and losing the war, decided
to use the last of its energy to create a gift
for its beloved people. The dragon bestowed upon
its people some of its very own teeth for which
to forge weapons of untold power. The dragon's
fire transmuted the teeth into workable metal
and the dragon formed them with its own claws.
It was its wish that these weapons would end
the war and bring peace. There are many legends
about them. The most common name for them seems
to be the teeth of the dragon. It is unclear
to me. how many there are. There seems to be
whispers of six, seven, or perhaps eight of them.
The ones that we are known in name currently
are, at least as far as I was able to see, is
Scorpius, the Sword of Lies, Cygnus, the Bow
of Binding, Arcturus, the Sword of Stars, Orion,
the Master Sword. Rigel, the glaive of fate.
And Gemini, the staff of truth. Are we sure Orion
was the master sword and not the perfect sword?
You're such a perfect human. Orion, you're perfect.
Yum. I apologize, but I could not get any concrete
information. They are very old, older than me,
and I'm not even sure they're from this time.
Or this dimension, or... It's a very... That's
the best I've got. I definitely thought he was
going to say, they're older than me. And I'm
like, super old. Oh, I'm sorry. I've got one
more thing I forgot. Yes. Hello. Sorry. It is
said that when they are all together, they bring
about the worm of the world's end. Oh, man. No
idea what that means. Worm? Like the whole thing
is a worm? Oh, not the whole thing. Worm of the
world's end. Like Y -R -M, worm. like draconic
worm. No idea exactly though what that means
like just it could just be a mistranslation.
Does that satisfy your wish? I feel like I I
feel like I failed you. Do you know locations?
Do you know any of the locations? Any of the
locations of the swords or the weapons? The ones
that we don't know the locations for. um yeah
the we know obviously scorpius and octurus and
we do know where well we as of this time we know
where the bow is yeah maybe it has moved since
you've left um do you know the locations of the
ones that aren't in our possession allow me to
look beyonce eye glow And he takes another look
for for a minute or two and he will say It appears
that Rygold the glaive of fate is locked away
in Some sort of dungeon under a city Capital
Capital yes, okay. I'm Not sure if that means
anything to you. Yeah, it does. That sucks. Gemini,
the Staff of Truth. Completely unknown to anyone
where that is. However, the more of the teeth
you have, allegedly, the easier it is to find
them. I realized this from... There's a... Spooky
vampire lady that has one of the swords. Yeah,
I know she wants us dead Yes, and I she she seems
to know quite a lot about it actually, but I
can't look into her mind because she's not alive
so We know what she is. It's kind of a bust,
but she does have Orion Is that the only one
that she has That I can tell yes, so wait right
here is under a capital Yes, the second one was
unknown Yeah, Gemini is unknown and then Orion
is with Lady Serial and You have Arcturus. We
know where the bow of binding is. I have Scorpius.
You have Arcturus If may I see it as well as
well as with Scorpius, maybe I can maybe I can
get some more information. Oh, yeah sure It's
just as heavy. Use your sticky tongue to extend
it further out so I can unsheathe it. Okay, let's
see here. And he will glow yet again and do his
divining. And let me roll. Okay, you're not gonna
believe this, guys. Did you roll a one? Oh, god.
Gemini, the Staff of Truth is here. Is in the
Wode somewhere. Okay. I don't know where, I can't
tell. You don't Wode? So we need to find Gemini
and a Knight here. But it's the closest weapon
and so I was able, once I had them both, I was
able to get some resonance off of it and I was
able to, it's somewhere around here. It's within...
Ten miles, probably. Ten miles? Guessing. Just
guessing. I'm, you know. Did anyone take the
spell locate object? Because wouldn't that be
hilarious? Wouldn't that be great? I feel much
better about the wish granting now. Thank you
for letting me make it up to you. Well he's insecure.
You did great, sweetie. I'm new at this, you
know. Not, not, not... The pyramid just got released.
Yeah, I grew it. She's like your mother. No,
that's not... Mommy? No, you're the mommy. Mum
-rah. Do you know my grandpa? Anyway, sorry.
Probably not. So, yes. I feel like that was pretty
good, right? It was a pretty good lore dump.
Thank you. I wanted information. Did you get
what you wanted? Yeah, we've just been playing
keep away with Lady Cereal for the shits and
gigs. I don't even know what it is. Like, what
is her plan? It seems like her plan is to get
the worm. Is that the whole thing? Is that something
that you can like confirm that he that like that
like Lady Cereal knows a lot about it? Like,
yeah. Why Lady Cereal knows a lot? Like, what
is her intention? I can't look into her mind.
That's what you said. Yes. Okay. I just know
that she has done a lot of research and she's
like really old so she has the time. She's got
the time. Well, fuck you, Lady Cereal. We're
gonna get all these things before you do. Meanwhile,
you just sit at the castle right on your ass
all day. I'm out here drinking our tea. She'll
lace all tea with garlic from now on. These lazy
bitches is fucking lovely. Come on, man. That's
my La Caminage quote. Nice. Everybody gets one.
Just one. Um, I guess I can go. Ah, yes. Dame
Raine Vosgrove. Are you good with your wish?
I don't want to... i stop you yeah no i think
that's for the parameters of my wish at least
you know uh rain pushes up i have a million ideas
going through my head it's really really hard
to narrow it down like man wouldn't it be nice
if we could just have like like an ordan positioning
thing where like it's like a map right that this
world's called warden right We always have a
map that you could see stuff around you and I
don't know. I just Are you wishing for me to
decide for you? I should probably decide for
myself. Thank you though. It's just a little
quip Thanks for your quip Working on my smack
talk speaking of quip our equipment. Oh, good
one. You know, I wish I could connect with more
items. You know, and I wish everyone here could
connect with more items. Like, there's some items
you have to connect with and some items you don't
have to connect with. But, like, I hate having
to choose each day. between my accessories, you
know? Like, I don't want to overdo it each day,
but I feel like maximalism is fun. You are teaching
me this. The pharaoh who is blinged out has lots
of, like, straps and belts and chains. You get
it. You're, like, you're strapped. You're accessorized.
The hair, like, I wish. Not that. I don't wish.
I wish. I will be happy to. I'll throw in that
for free. I... I... I can't even speak. I want
a perm. A perm, no perm. Um, no, I... Oh my god,
please don't. My mom wants me to get a perm.
I'm like, you should get a perm. I'm like, hell
no. I mean, it was great on you, just not me.
Maybe like a loose perm where it's just beach
waves. That's what mom was saying anyways. That's
what she wanted me to do my whole life. So no
perm right now. But is it possible for like,
I mean, for us to connect to more items like
all of us? Like to attune, do you say? This is
probably something that I could do. Why don't
you roll a D4? I'm gambling so hard here as the
DM. God speaking, I could be making a mistake
here. I will increase your attunement slots by
two each. Or would you like, would you like to
spend an inspiration to reroll? I want to spend
an inspiration. Mega inspiration. If you get
four, I'm not letting you have five. No, that's
fine. Two. Two. Alright, you can have three.
Okay, I will take it. His eyes glow and his hair
blows and this time everyone else's eyes glow
too and their hair blows as well except for darts
But it's his slime that blows because he doesn't
have hair. I don't know. I don't want to be behind
it Listen extra hard. Yeah, you just listen you
get the shine and we get though. Yes, and He
has increased your attunement slots by three
each So we each have six of two minutes and we're
broken Has gone ahead and long given me a perm.
Oh, oh level up level up I threw that in for
free. I feel oh Strong I'm feeling generous.
You guys are I don't think you're the first you're
the first to beat my trial rain starts floating
slightly Because she's so much lighter get down
I can't. This is the first time you guys are
experiencing like a level up power boost all
at once. Normally it's like something that like
is a little bit more gradual over the course
of a day or whatever, you know? That you guys
are all getting a surge in power. I hope this
is from Asmodeus. He's gonna be pissed otherwise.
I mean, he can take it up with the Pharaoh. I
don't want that. The Pharaoh's actually kind
of nice. He is really nice. I'm sorry that I
cussed at you. It was just smack talk. We all
say things we don't mean in the game. You're
right. Good game, sir. And like, does the bro
-to -bro handshake? GG. GG's. Handshake. I would
love to duel you some other time. I felt like
I was starting to get the mechanics. If you wish
to participate in more duels, that can be arranged.
There are other... There's a circuit. There are
other dual masters such as myself. Are there
tournaments we can? Perhaps. Can we get like
a button or something whenever we want to enter
a tournament? Or is that too much to ask for?
My wish. Get a portal. You've given me so much.
I don't want to ask too much. Here's what I will
do. I will give you a tiny pyramid that has a
button on the top. You can only press it once.
Evera? Well, yeah, I'll give you another one
if you need to get another one, okay? They're
disposable pyramids. Yes, it's disposable. When
you press it, I will receive the message and
then bury it somewhere so that my pyramid can
sprout. I can grow more pyramids because they're
seedlings. Pyramid seeds. You're just getting
one. You're just getting one. I'm gonna yell
that by God. What can you tell us about God?
I'm like, God damn it, attempt. You have seeds
and beans. She puts it in her beans. It's a wand
of beans. Oh, damn. She puts it on the tip of
the wand. It's like a pest dispenser is what
I was using. Like you feed beans into it? Yeah.
Well, not really, I can't do it. It grows with
beans, yeah. Yeah, the whole idea is that you
don't have, like, a big bunch of them all at
once, so you can't do that. Like, we only have
a couple at once. Anyway. Design. Anyway. Thank
you. It was a pleasure to grant your wish. It
was a pleasure to play your game. Dirk. Hell
yeah. I've got a little something prepared. Forgive
me for reading from a prompt, but I just want
to make sure that I get this right. If I had
one wish to make, it wouldn't be for riches or
fame or power, because nothing in this world
can compare to what I already have with you.
I'd wish for a lifetime of mornings waking up
to your smile and evenings filled with your laughter
and countless moments that we share together.
You've been with me through my highest moments
and my lowest, never wavering. And you've made
me better than I ever thought that I could be.
So my wish with you. Grant me the honor of being
by your side as my partner and my best friend
and be your biggest supporter. Will you marry
me? Yeah. That's the best wish I've ever heard.
It's granted. It's granted a thousand times.
The box I get to keep forever and not feel bad
about. Yeah. I knew it was here, but I didn't
expect it already. I was going to get you like
a throw you off the trail gift that I couldn't
think of a good one. But the night I got it,
I didn't make Mary made chicken for dinner. 3D
chess. Hell yeah. 3D proposal. I was going to
wait for our anniversary, but I couldn't wait.
Oh, it's been two days already. Two days is a
long time. It is. That was beautiful, Ryan. Congratulations.
Now I'm going to play TNT. But also, you need
to say your wish because it's fucking great.
This wish is great. Thank you. Thank you. But
Dart's wish is so good, too. I was going to ask
if we wanted to take a break. After Dart wishes
his wish. All right. Thank you. Brian is perfect.
I love you so much. I, yes, thank you. I love
you so much. I was so happy earlier when you
were like, this is going to be a wild session.
I was like, you have no idea. This is definitely
staying in the edits. And I'll put, like, music
behind you. Second fire. Who else has proposals
in their D &D podcast? Sorry, I got so nervous
during my speech. That was amazing! That was
so sweet. Oh my gosh. The speech was perfect.
Ryan is perfect. Yes, Ryan is perfect. This was
so fucking cute and sweet. Yeah, it was amazing,
dude. Congratulations. I'm really proud of you.
Oh, I love you. My life is better because you're
in it. I'm such a hopeless romantic. This is
great. This is like a Hallmark movie right in
front of me. Thank you. We met because of deity.
Maybe it's a shadow. So darts away. The mummy
is crying. Okay. I noticed in our game you had
a fun ability. To draw whatever card you wanted
That's not cheating. I want to be clear My wish
with it is to have the same ability Hmm What
do you mean well see I've got this deck of cards
not the not the one Not that one, but like another
deck And I would like the ability to pull whatever
card from it I would prefer to pull. I want the
power to look through it, pull the card that
I want to pull, and pull that card. Present the
deck. I had like on a little pouch and necklace
thing around my neck. He very carefully takes
the pouch. Tremendous amount of respect for cards,
this man. Opens them up, he's like, you don't
have these in protective sleeves. I assume that
he can sense the immense magical power contained
within them. You don't have these in protective
sleeves. They were in a pouch. This is true.
I hope you don't riffle these. His slime is a
protective sleeve. It's a protective slime. It's
drier than I thought wait, did I want it to be
wet? Yes, very well, I do believe that my ability
would work on such a such a item Dope so Here's
how the ability works once per day when you draw
a card from a deck Any deck you get to choose
which card you draw does that sound? Like what
you're looking for. I think so. Yeah Yeah DM
speak God speaking. I'm making another mistake.
Watch this guys. This is gonna be fantastic Because
she suggested it. You're not supposed to tell
them that. It looks like I'm giving you an idea.
Well, Ryan came up with the idea. He had a different
idea and you're like, oh shit, maybe what about
this? I like added to the idea. The idea was
already there. The foundation was there. Ryan
had it. That's very true. Yeah, anyway. Consider
it done. He hands you back the cards. They are
now in card sleeves. What did it look like? So
the card sleeves have they're like they're like
clear with They're like a clear sort of like
I thought plastic because there's no plastic
in this world, but it's something similar and
It has on the back. It has like printed the eye
With like the the pure like the pyramid the upside
-down pyramid on the back and then there's like
a border A small addendum to my wish, can you
grade these? Do you have 44 cards being graded?
That's expensive, that's smart, that's brilliant.
I can, however, if I grade them, they're unplayable.
I'll tell you what, something. Alright, alright,
alright, never mind, never mind, I'll take my
ability, that's fine, that's fine. And he's like,
King Dark, for this one, I will need you to place
your hand, foot? Is it a hand or a foot? They're
kind of indistinguishable. Place it on my dual
disc. And you sticky to the top of his dual disc
and you feel like the power from the psionic
crystals in it and his eyes glow and the wind
blows and you glisten. and you both glow with
the same sort of shimmery aura, and he transfers
a copy of this ability to you. It is called Heart
of the Cards. It's gonna make Yu -Gi -Oh so much
fun. Oh my god. Yeah, when you guys come back
to fucking do the tournament, as long as Dart
just, like, does one game a day. He's got it.
Yu -Gi -Oh with moderation. Yu -Gi -Oh response.
But yeah, so he grants you your wish. So I do
have a question about this Millennium piece that
you... Yes. You know, we are very grateful for
our wishes and we would be very grateful for
this item. Would you be interested in exchanging
this item for the orc that you have in that card?
Interesting. Like I said, we are very grateful.
You've been such generous. You've been a gracious
host, honestly. 10 out of 10 recommend. Yeah.
He's a great entertainer. Five star pyramid.
He kind of like looks at his, uh, at his like
dual disc and kind of like looks a little bit
puzzled and he goes, and he puts his like hand
on one, like finger on one of the cards and he
goes, heart of the cards. And there's like a
little glow and he pulls and he's like, oh, you're
talking about this? And he pulls the tolerant,
the valiant card. Yeah, that one. That looks
familiar. Oh yes. Poor guy. He just got here.
Yeah, he was sabotaged by some crazy lady. Yes,
I'm aware. He was left behind. He was pushed
behind, right? I thought she was the one that
was pushed behind. I thought she pushed him back.
She did push somebody, but... They didn't make
it out of the labyrinth. Okay, so I'm gonna assume
it's him then. Yeah, they abandoned him in the
labyrinth, but he made it to me, and we dueled,
and he lost badly. Um, yeah, we would like him,
please. Are you sure you don't want the chain?
It's good bling. It is good bling. It is, but
you just blinged me out. The drip is insane.
All right, all right. Very well. And he will
hold up the card and again the glowy wind comes
along and the image on the card glows brightly
like it just keeps getting brighter and brighter
and like flashes almost like a blinding light
and from that like the image pulls off of the
front of the car the front of the car the the
place where the image it was is blank and now
the car just has like the blank borders to it
and this like swirly energy manifests right In
front of you guys and right in front of you stands
He is a like a relatively tall or he looks to
be maybe in his like early 20s He's relatively
young he looks he's very physically fit. He's
wearing He's wearing very nice armor and he has
like his hair is like quaffed If that makes sense,
you know, he's got he's got like some style and
he has a is a very like defined jaw his Like,
tusks are small, but they are capped with, like,
gold. Like, little gold caps. Okay. Very princely.
And he has... Even his, like, eyebrows are, like,
manicured. You know what I mean? Like, he's...
They're threaded. They're threaded. Yeah. Fuck.
Exactly. Exactly how I want to address slash
respond to this orc coming to in front of us.
I'm gonna pull out my pistol. Start. I'm gonna
chamber around like this. Start. And I'm gonna
say, come with me if you want to live. So yeah,
he kind of appears and as soon as his feet are
actually under him, he kind of sags under the
weight of existing again. And he's kind of like,
huh? And he looks and he looks at the Pharaoh
and his eyes kind of like light up with recognition.
And he's like, Pharaoh? And then he looks over
and sees you guys and then you go, come with
me if you want to live. And he's just like, what?
We got you out of the cards. You're welcome.
Oh my god, yes. Oh my god. This is why I'm marrying
you. Oh my god. And the Pharaoh says, these lovely
people, they wished for you to be released. So
I'm releasing you in their custody. Do whatever
you want. You're free to go. And he's like, Oh,
thank goodness. Did my dad send you guys? Oh
no. No, we just watched, or someone who wasn't
watched you get kicked back in here by some sorcerer
lady. It was me. I saw that. The trangle at the
pyramid. I thought that was totally whack and
that we should come and get you and we are here
to come and get you. Wait a minute. Oh shit,
you're a fucking fraud. And his eyes like widen
once he finally, like he's like. Oh shit, wait
a minute, like - Be chill about it, man. And
he's like, and his eyes widen, and um... Be chill.
The Pharaoh is like, it's time to go. Uh, I'm
sorry, I - I've reached my - my limit of like
- of energy for - People being in your house?
Socialization, yes. He's overstimulating you
guys, we gotta get out of here. I have become
overstimulated. How do we leave? I, before I
leave, I give him a scrap. Oh. Oh, thank you.
I met him on an access ball team. Oh, shit. That's
broken. That's crazy. They get like a card game
and he's like, Oh my God. So she goes up to him
like, for your generosity and you're welcome.
And you're just amazing. Thank you so much here.
Here. And our many attunement slots. And our
many attunement slots. You get multiples. You
get a handful of scraps. You have changed all
of our lives. He's the best guy around. You are
the man. Like, the G. The guy around. What about
the people he murdered? He covers up his neck.
What murder? When we get teleported out of the
pyramid, which I assume we'll get teleported
out, I will say... just because I really, really
want to. Vesloria's finest just got a whole lot
finer. Amazing. Glad you guys acknowledged it.
Hand fact it up. Tell us some of your characters'
nicknames and or titles and maybe a little bit
about them. Obviously. King of Androm. It's one
of my titles. Just a little nickname we throw
around here and there. I feel like, I don't know
why it's the first thing that comes to mind,
but I want to say that I am Dart the Canal'd.
Yeah. You see, because I'm supported by a system
of fluid flow canals. to interject into Dart's
fun fact. Some of the orcs, as in like the teens
and children, have been referring to Dart as
the frog of the flames. Hot damn. Literally.
He's a hot damn, he's a hot canal. And some orc
moms are already using him as an excuse. To,
you know, go to bed or the frog of the flames
will come for you. You're the omen. Yeah, the
best nickname so that once you do not give yourself.
It's prophetic in a way. Yeah. Yeah, news traveled
fast. Zavari has many titles, many she was born
with. I'll save you all that. topic that we already
know. Zavari during her space of time between,
you know, leaving her husband and meeting the
Ham Crusaders, there was a space of time where
she was alive, just by popular opinion, and during
that time she ran with The Road. The Road is
a thieves guild in Dalarath and They didn't exactly
who they were they didn't know who they were
taking in and she pretty much refused to tell
them her name and These are shady folk. Anyway,
there's people hiding their identities for all
kinds of reasons. So that's fine But you do not
get to choose your nickname They named her big
red might wonder why did they name her big red
considering? She's five foot two. Um, it's cuz
her boobs are huge Hello Titto Bitties. And she
didn't know why they were calling her Big Red
for three months until somebody finally told
her and laughed. And it was too late. She couldn't
choose a new nickname. It was Big Red the whole
time. Couldn't shake it. That's why you got the
nickname. You shook it too much. She made for
really good distractions for them, to put it
that way. Can these be, like, our code names?
Like, Big Red? Oh, damn! That's the Big Green
is one of my favorite childhood memories. Like,
I loved that movie growing up. All right, got
it. Big Red, Big Green, and Big Water. Hell yeah!
I was gonna say Dark could be Filled Canal. Big
Red, this is Filled Canal. Oh my god. This is
awful. That seems just... Kind of bonery It matches
with the big with the big red seeming oh my god,
you know, well Please please make God stop talking
about my boobs. I can't honey No comment I plead
the fifth. Thanks God So Reynes, I mean, she
is the Oracle Knight of Betagar and of Andoram.
She is the path, a path changer at the Conservatory
of the Waking Dream. And, but like when she got,
when she was younger, she got was Mouset. Like
a lady moose? Like a lady moose. Okay. Yeah,
a moose head. Cool. Please keep that in when
you... Moose are so fucking cool though. Moose
are so scary. So scary. They're like the size
of houses. There was this super cocky dude on
like, it was like early on. Axis Ball Rain, so
probably like four years ago, five years ago,
so younger, not super young, who just thought
he could do it all, but he really couldn't. He
was really good at certain aspects, like really,
really good at certain aspects, but then he wasn't
as good in other aspects, but he hadn't realized
it. When Rain appeared, she was good at the things
that he necessarily wasn't good at. and it challenged
him and he felt a little insecure until he yeah
um and then one night before like of a tournament
he got too salty and was like you know what i'm
gonna arm wrestle you rain whooped his ass basically
in arm wrestling and then um that guy he also
started like betting the other teams that they
couldn't beat rain in arm wrestling and kept
trying to pin her strength against other dudes
in particular. And after that, he tried to call
me as strong as a moose and I was like, nah,
I'm a moosette. And it stuck. So what if God
was Graham Wildstep? Yes! The viewers at home
or I'm sorry listeners at home or viewers, I
guess we don't know how you're watching or reading.
I don't know. Yeah, exactly. I might be viewing
it with your reading followers. For those of
you who need to come up with a don't know. Graham
is Lord Zaris's best friend. They've been BFFs
for nearly all of Zaris's life. And he now essentially
just works for the family and gets paid to be
by his best friend's side. So that's that's Graham.
And when he was younger, him and Zaris went to
private school together. Graham's family wasn't
necessarily like rich like the Umbermores are.
And something had happened. They weren't able
to continue paying for the tuition for Graham.
And so he was going to have to leave the school.
And this was in, like, kindergarten. Lord Zaris,
being the kid he was, had a hard time relating
to other children. So the fact that he had become
such fast friends with Graham... It meant everything
to Zaris' parents. So they were like, no, no,
don't worry. We'll pay the tuition and we'll
pay for tuition for all of your children. And
because of that, Graham did get a little bit
of a nickname from the other kids at the private
school. So behind Zaris' back, they would call
Graham the royal dog, the princess pup. Graham
does not deserve this. A whelp? They would call
him the stray and the charity cases, but mainly
Graham's least favorite was Prince's pup. And
sometimes they'd literally just call out to him
and call him a pup or like a dog. Or call him
pee -pee. The whole joke was that like he's essentially
Zaris' pet. He's like the like his whole family
is just the Umbermores pets because they're just
taking care of them and like he's only there
because of Zaris. So yeah, so Graham just kinda
like, he's never told Zaris about this. Graham
doesn't deserve that. Graham does not deserve
that. Damn. Damn, Graham. Yeah. Yeah. Rich kids
are mean. Were you gonna say something? You look
like you're just - It just reminded me of something
really dumb, just - You mispronounced Tony! That's
not even close! Your eyes lit up! I saw them
from what you thought of it! You mispronounced
Graham! Charity case isn't even close! We'll
tag Lush's up in Vantress this week. You guys
are teleported. back to the front of the pyramid
by like the door and You're in that little Entryway
room where you guys originally Like walked into
so you can now like you can only leave like there's
nowhere else to go at this point Yeah, please
come again It takes you through a gift shop?
Yeah. Rain, definitely buy something. Oh my god.
Okay, so what does Rain buy? Like what kind of
like themed gift? Hair. Accessories. Oh my god.
Like a hat. Like one of those like knitted hats
that's in the shape of his hair? Yes. With the
colors. With the long strings down. Yes. Oh my
gosh. Okay, I'm here for it, yeah. I thought
it was gonna be like one of those cheesehead
hats, but it's just in the shape of a pyramid.
That's pretty funny, too. She looks at it, but
puts it down. She has the mini one to go. It's
fun. Got that for free. Goes for the hair. That
was her free souvenir. Hair all the way. Could
you imagine her skiing in Umbermoor? And you
know what? Zara said, be like, it's chic. You
guys don't get it. Thanks, babe. He'll throw,
they'll throw in pyramid pencils as well, which
are pencils like that are like triangular and
then they have like the glyphs like the hieroglyphs
up the sides of the uniform. I get A lot of those,
like a handful of those. I can't remember the
name of the brand, but there was like, there
was like a pencil brand when I was in school,
where they looked really cool and they had these
super unique erasers, but the problem with them
being really unique is that as soon as you tried
to erase something with them, they just like,
instantly broke. Damn. Pyramid shaped erasers,
and you try to erase one thing and it just pops
off. Oh, it crumples, yeah. These are rectangular,
or these are triangular prism shaped, so they
have more structural integrity and they're very
high quality pencils. Rain would like to get
Zaris a marble labyrinth, like one of those like,
tilta, tilting labyrinth things. Yeah, like a
little marble. Yes, to teach him focus. Oh my
god, okay, yes. Um, good luck, babe. Like a genuine
mum -raw action figure with karate chop action.
Oh my gosh. So they don't have one with karate.
Yeah, it's like a dual -disc action. What is
it? Not dual -discs, it's battle -bracers. Battle
-bracers. Yes, it's battle -bracer action. The
action figure lifts his battle -bracer and it
expands out, and then he can also throw cards,
and it's as hard as the cards. Harlequin. It's
your move. I thought it was one of those where
you pull the thing out of his back and it shoots
the little disc out of the bracer that spins
on the table. And it turns into a Beyblade. Oh
my god. Oh my god, yes. It spins on the table
and it's got - It's got a Beyblade. And it's
got the sorcerer on it. It's like his monster.
I don't even know nothing about Beyblades. I'm
still trying to bring back Pogs. I think we should
do a Pog set. It looks like a Beyblade but for
legal reasons it's not. Drop another pyramid
and we'll do pogs. Oh my god, yes. You gotta
drop a pogamid. Giant pogs. Just like having
to dodge shit. Write that down. Next pyramid.
I mean, I have nine more spots or like eight
more spots that could be a pyramid. We could
do this all day. So do you want you want the
action figure? Yeah. What do you want me souvenirs
at the gift shop? I want an oversized hoodie
and a pyramid shaped paperweight. Perfect. Yep.
You got it. Do they have any of like the collectible
shoes like in Hercules? A cup with like the Pharaoh's
head on it on the top, you know, and the straw
coming out the top of the head. I want that too.
Oh no, and there's also cups with the head of
Sinister Sorcerer. and sinister sorceress. So
you can get them like in a pair and make them
kiss, yeah. I thought that was, let's keep matching
what he said, we can make them kiss, I was like
that. Sorry Reign, I was on the floor, Reign,
Reign, um. And it's all made of like medieval
materials, like it's all like glass or stone
and per polished wood or whatever. It's unblown
glass. Like, what's blowing this glass? Magic.
Mum bra. I made them myself. Multifaceted. I
had a lot of time on my hands. A lot, a very
long time. It's very boring dueling yourself
for a thousand years. So I picked up a few other
hobbies. You know what? That's awesome. That's
fair. That's fair. Alright, so that's one gift
down. Now what do I get for the other 19 kids?
You can get some of those pencils for sure. Yeah,
load me up on pencils and box. Get them a t -shirt
that'll say, like, my dad went to a magical pyramid
and all I got was this lousy t -shirt. Oh my
god. My other castle is a pyramid. You can get,
like, oversized copies of the card that's you.
Like a big... Can't we like take pictures and
then like... There's a photo. Yes. Okay, this
gift shop is dope. Way better than the wish.
Nineteen are those crank pressed pennies. Oh
my god. Those are gold pieces. I love those things.
There's definitely crank pennies where you put
gold, you put copper pieces in. Two copper pieces.
Exactly. The best part of the campaign. Exactly.
The gift shop of the campaign. Shake me to the
gift shop. It peaked. It peaked. A pyramid. My
god. That would be a pyramid as a plateau. That
work is completely overwhelmed by all the gifts.
Oh, he needs something. I'm going to give him
a hoodie too. We're getting the sweet gift of
reuniting him with his family. And a hoodie.
And a hoodie. Good lord. Try this on. I think
it'll fit. It's a little tight in the shoulders,
but I do like it. And then I get him a drink
that is in the shape of a Greedy Pottery. Yes,
the Greedy Pottery thing. And it has an umbrella
in it. Yes. And that's just like a big like fishbowl.
It's the size, it's the size of two drinks. Yeah,
it's an orcs, a drink for an orc search. Yeah.
This card fucked me up. Oh shit. I stole it from
him. Nice. Nice. Um, yes. So, after you guys
have a jolly ol' time at the gift shop. I presume
you guys leave at some point after doing many
photos. Yeah Um as we're like walking out, I
just want to like, you know kind of talk to my
companions Be like, okay, so we have this orc
guy. Um, should I wait over there? Are you guys
talking about me? Honestly, I don't mind if you
listen in yeah, I mean we we want to get to know
you just trying to be a person and he just kind
of like gives like a um how are we gonna make
sure he doesn't you know um we do have some people
who you know may not have good connections with
orc so we we shouldn't bring you back to where
we're at but also i have other i have things
i we have to do too so i mean how shitty is it
that that lady fucked you over yeah tell us your
story um Forgive me if I'm, you know, I feel
a little on the spot here. Um, are you my enemies?
Do you want us to be? Who betrayed you? Who betrayed
you and who let you out? I'm not being accusatory.
No! And he kind of just, he gives like a sly
sort of smile, like he is kind of relapsed. He's
like a little, he was a little bit confused,
but now that he's like... Talking he's a little
bit more in his element. He's kind of relaxed
and He has like a really pretty like silver stony
gray eyes And he's kind of like Look, I'm I'm
not accusing you guys of anything. I'm just trying
to understand where we stand you understand that
I Have no idea what's going on We are the ham
crusaders We okay, yeah, I know you question
it's not frog because I know it's it's not Complicated
I mean it's because of the frog but it's it's
it's on different coincidences. Yeah, it's a
story for another time. Yes Oh, I see You know
Dart do you wanna? You guys want to talk to this
guy? Um, so you guys have you at this point you'll
have to like exit the pyramid We Us being your
enemy is up to you Well, I'm not in chains so
that's a good start I do have and he kind of
like any gestures and he does have like a weapon
like he has he has a like curved sword An additional
dagger at his hip He has like a pouch of presumably
some kind of you know Supplies just sort of like
on his other hip and you know, he's armed So
I mean so are we and in his click his He you
can tell you we did have like and you guys saw
him go in he did have a cloak when he went in
and it's like torn And you know, so he like he
like looks a little worse for wear But he's not
like injured anymore like the Pharaoh didn't
heal his clothes So they're a little bit torn
up. But other than that, I mean he looks like
and yeah he's wearing the hoodie and he's like
this is very comfortable and it has like the
car like the card back swirl like fabric it's
gonna be our hoodie guys we're gonna have to
have that as much um okay couple things one um
you understand that we essentially rescued you
from an eternal prison Just just I want to make
that sort of clear before I make before I explain
the next stuff Sir and he kind of looks like
questioningly and cut like like sir Question
mark as he looks at unit goes if if I may I Was
trapped in a place that the Pharaoh called the
Umbra realm shit we were It It was terrible and
it felt like I was in there for like a hundred
years. I swear to fucking God it I Am very aware.
Okay, I like that. So that I am very aware I
Make no mistake. I'm trying to figure out where
I can possibly stand here so that we can Okay,
that's that's good stuff because that's really
gonna soften this next part So and he kind of
just like sighs Okay, and then he leans his his
hand like on his like on the hill But it's like
on the hilt of his sword, but like in a kind
of casual way. Just like he's like all right
so the long and short of it is Your people are
Genociding my people which makes me real upset
So what I was gonna do was go to your people
and murder them all and then I thought Maybe
if I had some leverage, we could negotiate and
there'd be a little less murder. And you are
the leverage. Because I'm guessing that your
people want you back and I bet you're grateful.
that we rescued you from a hellish Umbra prison,
and so I'm feeling like maybe we can have a discussion.
We also hate that you got betrayed. Yeah, that
sucked. That's salty shit. I literally watched
that happen through my dragon's eyes and that
sucked. Let me tell you about this. My autistic
sense of choice is the most frustrating teammate.
I have ever had to work with. She looks more
like a dictator than a teammate. I know that
she just... She makes those orcs that have the
acid as blood, right? Yes, and she... She does
all kinds of weird shit, you guys. She does all
kinds of weird shit. I know that she was just
trying to get rid of me, Because she wants my
Phyra. Your what? I have a... I think the...
Have you seen the drakes? The night drakes, yeah.
Yeah, we know about them. Oh, yes, I have one.
Sort of. But she is a gemstone drake. Gems? Yes.
Where did you get that from? Oh, especially.
See, I'm the captain's son. I'm the lieutenant.
Did you get it from the same people you got the
night drakes from? Yes, it was a special gift,
and her and I have become very close. Her name
is Fyra. She's a sapphire gemstone dragon. Dragon
Drake, I guess. Sapphire gemstone Drake. I have
a soft spot in my heart for gemstone. Sapphires.
And I have like a crystal housing for her where
I keep her safe and I did not take her with me
because I was concerned about the pyramid situation.
So I know that Lucara wants her because her heart
is a powerful psionic crystal. Yeah, the hearts
tend to be very powerful. Right, so if I could
just... sidetrack back to the genocide. Just
bear with me. So I'm willing to, and this is
a big stretch for me, but I'm willing to bet
that some of the orcs are responsible for the
genocide of my people and some of the other orcs
are probably just trying to live their daily
lives, you know? um and like somebody's gonna
have to answer for the genocide that's for sure
i don't think i can really just let that go but
i don't want to have to just kill everybody because
that's not like that's not our saying in line
with a speech i gave to this kid you might consider
it's a long story hey you know i have gotten
tied up by speeches i've given to kids before
so i you know i kind of get it actually man I
just, I feel like a kid that I lectured would
kind of frown on it if I murdered everyone who
upset me. So, like I assume that you want to
get back to your gemstone Drake and your family
and your pregnant mom. What? How do you know
about that? All right, I don't know about that.
Yes, actually. I'm expecting younger siblings
soon. My mother is pregnant with twins. Twins?
Right, miracle of life. That's real beautiful.
And again, I just hate to be a bore and keep
bringing this up, but the genocide. A bore. If
you will, excuse me, I am Lieutenant Telleran.
It's a pleasure to meet you, I suppose. Thank
you for saving me. I would like to quickly interject
as far as, you know, the mention of genocide.
Is that what we're doing? Really? Do you purposefully
breed my people so you can eat their children?
Well, I thought it was more like chickens and
eggs. You know? Do I look like a chicken to you?
Do chickens normally talk and express and wave
pistols around in the air? I mean, I know we
all got to draw a line when it comes to sentience,
but to be fair, I have like a house, you know?
I've got 20 kids. A single dad who works too
hard. Oh my gosh. Some have said that I am a
mad lad frog Chad. With a crown and a gun and
too many sons. Although I don't want to make
it sound like they're a burden. I love them all
very much. Miss you. No daughters, though. No,
there's a few. There's a couple girls, yeah.
Are any of them named? The women are never named.
Unnamed daughters is a hard bet, like banned.
Oh shit, yeah. I have various daughters. One
of them is named TBD. I think it's very cute.
The band dad. TBDs. TBDs. Sorry, I suppose I
was under the impression that it was like a sort
of... I swear to God, if you say the word livestock,
I am gonna pistol whip you. Just don't say it.
Just don't. Just be quiet, because he will hit
you. And he'll hit you hard. I'm sorry my good
sir. I'm not trying to Discount your experience
I'm not sure that I understand the nature of
what happens with the frogs that are Consumed
by Our people I personally haven't been to the
Place we do know that they're actually called
farms Yeah, there's the deal as a wise hamster
once said my people yearn for liberty And I understand
that. I mean, so do ours. So do ours. Leveraging?
From what? Like I said though, that's sort of
why I need you as leverage to negotiate. Like
you guys gotta stop eating us and then in exchange
you get to like, you know, not get murdered.
That's sort of the deal. Well... I think we can
all work that out, you know, I think we can come
to a happy medium. You know, I don't think that's
a terrible idea. Roll persuasion. We need to
find them an alternate food source. 23. Listen,
you know, I... I'm an understanding person. I
do see your line of thinking as far as the plan
to use me as leverage. I do think that that would...
And first off, I want to clarify it's in my best
interest to facilitate this sort of thing so
that I can go home. However, vrin will not negotiate
oh yeah so that guy he's gotta go that's not
a negotiable he's sort of um My sticking point
on this whole deal, like I'm willing to let a
lot of other orcs live, just not that one. In
fact, especially not that one, some would say.
Yeah, basically him and Lokara are really at
the top of my dead orc list. Yeah, I'm ready
to... And then, you know, if the orcs that are
left after them are willing to negotiate... That
seems pretty reasonable. I feel like we could
live and let live after I get my violent horrible
vengeance He's rubbing your vengeance. He's rubbing
his handsome forehead and just kind of like stressed
His brow is furrowed. He's thinking really hard
and he's like So my I mean my father would definitely
be interested in getting me back. I'm sure But
it's just a matter of, again, Vryn's not going
to negotiate. About that, I feel like there needs
to be a change in leadership. How would your
dad feel about leading the orcs in place of Vryn?
I'm sure he'd be super grateful to the people
who returned his son to him. There is an alternative
to this plan, of course. That being that we just
kill you right now and figure the rest out later.
Which really don't want to do, you seem really
nice. We went through a lot of trouble, the rescue
crew, that was a whole thing. You look great
in that hoodie, honestly. We got you a hoodie.
Cheers, we cheers. And he cheers us with his
greedy pottery. And then I tap down, drink, eye
contact. Not to like, you know, put you on the
spot and everything, but... Don't write that
down. For the time being, if I may be honest,
and, you know, I am a military man myself. So
I just... I'm here. To cooperate for the time
being, I'm just not sure how effective your methodology
will be. It's kind of like, I mean, you're talking
about an entire society of people who have been
kept safe by our leader, safe and fed. And, you
know, you speak of liberty and I do want to address.
and he kind of just gives like a soft chuckle,
and he goes, you know, our people have nowhere
to go, and the emperor offered us a place to
be, and that's why we're here. So that being
said, we had to make some like ecological adjustments.
um but it's a big woad you know what i'm saying
no i and i i agree i agree um and i just you
know counterpoint um and i'm not i'm not trying
to like argue for what we have what we do have
i just i believe that there is a secondary purpose
Um, but I'm not sure what it is. I've been trying
to investigate, but Vren is very secretive, a
lot more secretive than he used to be from what
I understand. What we know is that the natural
order of nature is out of balance at the moment,
partly to do with your sudden arrival. Yeah,
and I also sort of feel like if my people were
to be freed one of the advantages of not eating
them is that they are you know particularly well
suited to living in this environment and I bet
they could show you how to do the same but that
is kind of a long way off. The first thing I'm
really gonna need is sort of like proof of life
that we have you and you exist so that when we
go to negotiate they can't just like take you
and take all of our leverage. So do you have
like a signet ring or like a finger I can have?
Well, you could take my sword, I suppose. It's
signature to me. When I became a captain, I forged
it with my own hands. Oh, damn. Or not a captain,
sorry, a lieutenant. Sorry, I'll be the captain
someday. Right, right, right, right, right. If,
you know, fortune's favor. Can I ask you a question?
Oh, yeah. Emperor gave you this land to be. Do
you know why? I believe he wants to build here
eventually. There used to be buildings here at
some point. The majority of Rinvara is built
on ruins. So, you know, just presumably it's
that sort of thing. The thing is, I'm not...
I know more than I should, but I'm not actually...
I only know what I've been able to find out.
And as far as that goes, like... I mean, I don't
think we're gonna be able to hammer out all the
details, just you and I staying in here. No,
I mean... So I'm kind of gonna need you to turn
over the sword, but I promise you'll get it back,
you know? And he, like... undoes the belt that
holds the sword and like and takes it off and
like hands you the full belt sheath sword and
then like his he has like a secondary smaller
belt that holds like the the dagger i thought
you're like his pants yeah and yeah and he just
his pants don't fall down his hotness with his
pants falling down and us just be like Not right
now, but just for the flavor of it, when I do
do these negotiations, I'm going to approach
and then when they are like, you know, that's
the frog. What do you want? I'm just going to
like, bleh, the sword and be like, we have...
What's his name again? Talryn. Talryn. We have
Talryn. Talryn D 'Vor. Right, right, right, right.
They're saying, we have towers of bleh, and they
just place it out. I've got something you want,
bleh. I've got something you want. Family. The
most important thing there is, family. But yeah,
no, you know, working out the details. I'm really
concerned about fire. It's gonna be, it's gonna
be complicated. Oh, I got a question. Is the
person we should be talking to who can like,
who's high up in authority and can kind of facilitate
these negotiations but isn't Vryn, would that
be your dad? You said your dad's the captain?
Ah, Captain. You're trying to get a sense of
like the military hierarchy here and how complex
it is. What am I up against? Do I need to go
like get an army? Cause I'll go get one. We are
dealing with like a whole city. So I mean, yes,
my father is a captain. There are other captains,
but he's There's not many. Above him would be
Seeker Kurthak. You can think of him as Vryn's
right -hand man, sort of. Right, right, right.
Above a captain, not technically a colonel. I'm
not sure. It's kind of pisses us off to be honest.
I I like hierarchy and you know rules and structure
is yeah exactly exactly and Don't look at me
like that, but rain definitely would like have
like a glimmer of oh that's attractive man Just
at the same word as I did at the same time. Sorry,
sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry He doesn't seem to
pick up on anything, because it just probably
does. Twinkle in her eye, and that's it. And
then she goes... If you look at Samara, she's
mean mugging the hell out of you. It wasn't intentional,
and it wasn't long. Frog, sir. Yes. How should
I address you? That's because Zaurus is a slime.
Oh my god. My official title is King Dart. Mm,
okay. She's like, you know what? Would you mind
if I called you Lord Dart? Fuck it, okay, never
mind. Yeah, that's acceptable. Okay, because
I can't, rightfully, anyway. Okay. That's your
business. Thanks. And he's just kind of like,
starts like rocking back and forth, like on his
feet, and he's just like, yep. Captured I knew
this would happen at some point, but at least
we're nice now of all times Yeah, I'm not even
tied up. It's pretty pretty nice He's just kind
of like talking to us. I mean if you wanted to
be tied up. It's taking a second to process He's
like well, oh yeah involuntary I prefer not to
be I prefer not to be um You know just in case
we get attacked or something. Oh, yeah, I could
at least run Yeah, like easy access. True, yeah,
to run away. Yeah, exactly. In a fight, right?
Right? Always, right? That's exactly what I was
talking about. Reign, what's your middle name?
Fuck. I need to say your full name, but I don't
know your middle name. It's Reign Fuck Vosgrove.
Reign Fuck Vosgrove. Motherfucking. That's so
funny. She's in my phone as Rachel fucking boss
and has been for like 10 years, so It's good
It's like a pH But yeah, so You guys are like
exiting the pyramid presumably and you guys are
hit, you know with the light of The day because
it's still day time it When you come out you
Immediately get the feeling that there is something
wrong and Roll perception Question is my perception
still Amplified due to me being in my favored
terrain. Yeah now that I'm out of the pyramid.
Yes. I got a 14 I got a nat 20. The moon is a
20, right? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's dope. Plus
9. 29. 21. So, you guys both like, all of you
like feel like a weird tension. in the air and
you immediately are looking around and there
you know there were signs of foot traffic and
whatnot there was signs of injury because of
the punji stick trap and whatnot from before
but now there appears to be like there are like
large prints on the ground like these big heavy
tracks and they look like bear tracks and there's
like clear signs of a struggle where like against
one of the trees there's these big claw marks
that look like a giant bear or a large bear,
you know, was clawing at something and then the
ground is sort of like, you know, kind of torn
up. And then you can see that there are like
these dragging lines coming from like the area,
you know, the pyramid. And And additionally,
with your Nat 20, I would say that you, you spot
in like, like tangled in some of the underbrush
you spot, you spot like a clump of like brown,
like grizzly bear fur. And like, You like you
go over and you pick it up and as you pick it
up it like the fur itself turns like this like
sort of tabby sort of gray and it's the color
of Drift's fur and their work tracks leading
away from the scene. I want to send Daru out
to follow the track. So you send Daru out and
Talaran's standing there and he's like, what's
going on, guys? Daru is flying above a caravan,
like a covered wagon that's being pulled by like
these large, they're kind of like bison -like
creatures. and he's like flying above it and
there's several orcs like riding alongside um
glimpses of night drakes like flanking them and
stuff and it's like definitely like Daru is like
they're taking them in they're taking them in
and they've gotten fairly far at this point like
it took Daru a second to find them um And they're
pretty far away, and they're taking him to the
city. How far away is pretty far away? I don't
know, you guys were talking for like 10 minutes,
I don't know. I'm not sure. that I guess probably
like, you know, however long it takes for, I
mean, and you guys were also in the pyramid for
a bit and some time did pass while you were in
there, which is like a lot less time than you
perceived. If that makes sense, the time was
like slower. So it was probably like, they're
probably like 20 minutes away, like via. The
carts are like a traveling speed. They're fairly
far. They're not way far, but you could not reach
them by just running your maximum speed or whatever.
You would have to do something else. And they're
getting pretty close to the city. They're hitting
the outskirts. um there's like a small like sort
of village um that is there's like partial ruins
like part of the village is built on like ruins
and then like the other part of the village is
like tents and like temporary housing while there's
like more buildings being built and it's relatively
small it's like it's definitely like smaller
than say Gravesford um But it definitely like
leads into the city where the and it's gonna
dark can't see really well cuz like there's it's
super dense the load So it's kind of hard for
him to really tell but they're you know, maybe
just 15 minutes from the city at this point And
yeah, so that's kind of what You're working with
And also you by the way role perception Yeah
Just just sorry, um 19 a 19 So You You notice
two things. For one, you notice that Daru is
flying a little bit slower than usual? Not significantly,
but definitely noticeably, right? Because you
spend a lot of time looking through his eyes
when he's flying around. And the other thing
that you notice is that for a moment, from the
caravan, from the back of the covered wagon,
You see like a flash of a like black and white
fur like tail and then like a spray coming off
the back of the covered wagon. And then just
like a little bit of tail peeks out, spray, nothing.
Okay. So do with that information what you will.
I'm telling my companions about what I see. A
spray. A spray? Like what kind of spray? Invisibility
spray? Like a skunk? It's kind of hard to tell
but it was like mmm sort of like maybe like a
It definitely looked like some kind of biological
fluid. I will put it that way It's not necessarily
like it didn't necessarily look like pee but
it also didn't necessarily not like pee and it's
kind of unclear what it was and you do see that
it like there was just enough of it to like wet
the ground just a tiny bit and Like so it's like
but it's not like a stream It is a spray, and
you saw a flash of a black and white tail, so...
That's what I see. Talian's like, that's really
weird. Is your friend... Does your friend spray?
We don't know him like that. You may be trying
to leave us a trail to follow. Yeah. It's probably
one stinky trail. Just to throw out there, I
do have access to Dimension Door, which teleports
us 500 feet. I just have to be able to - How
far? Describe. Yeah, definitely. But you'd have
to, like, I mean, I guess if you casted it back
to back to back, you could maybe, like, try getting
closer. But the caveat of that is it just does
me and one other person. That's what I was gonna
say. That's tough. Yeah. Man, if you had had
like a necklace that could house a person, then
you could take you and one other person and then
somebody inside the necklace. That would have
been cool. I didn't have to wait too long. I
did not have to wait too long at all. That's
what, that's what, what's his name says? Yeah,
that's what Palarin says. Yeah. You got one of
those? No. You know, we have one of those. Wait,
what? What do you mean? That was just, it was
just something I was making up. It's just. A
joke. Nah. We traded it for you. Not a joke.
I hope it was worth it. I mean, we'll see. Are
you our enemy? Are you gonna do right by the
darts people? That remains to be seen, I suppose.
Yeah. So we'll see if it's worth it. I said I
would cooperate. You are. We can't take him back
where we came from. That would not be wise. But
I think we could take him to the cave. Keep him
in the cave while we... But negotiate. Aren't
there orcs in the cave? Like rogue orcs. At least
we believe there to be rogues. Oh, sir dude,
what's your name again? Talryn. Talryn. What's
your name, by the way? I'm Rain. Rain. Do you
have some kind of honorific? Dame. Dame Rain.
Oh, Dame Rain. So should I address you as Dame
Rain? If you want to, but Rain is fine. I'm not
one for titles. Okay. I just have them. Do you
have a preference? Rain is fine. Got it. And
you, if I may ask? Before I - I'm sorry. I'm
interrupting you. No, of course. No, you're fine.
You can call me Lady Zavari. Lady Zavari. Or
High Priestess. I for sure thought you were gonna
say Lady Zavari. Roll insight. 12. 12. Okay.
Ladies of Arian. Okay. I feel like I'm speaking
out now. I guess, uh, Reign, you're also, like,
studying him pretty hard, so if you want to throw
an insight check out. You guys are probably all
doing it, honestly. I got a 23. I got less than
that. I got a 16. Yeah, I guess I don't have
to use my inspiration for it. Save that. I don't
have one now because I used it for, it's like
we can't want to read. So it was a good inspiration
to be honest. So he hides it well, but when you
guys gave your names, there was like a flash
of recognition behind his eyes. He has, especially
with Zavari, like I feel like once Zavari said
her name, it was like you could see in his eyes,
he was confirming, okay, like I, there is, I
do recognize these names in some way, but he
does not show it. It's like so subtle. It's only
because you're staring into his gorgeous eyes
that you notice. Yep. Brain being, like, a little
too intuned. She... You know the Umbermores.
I'm sorry? You know the Umbermores. I mean, I've
heard of them, of course. What do you know? And
what do you know about Zavari? Well, what do
you know? I mean, more than you probably, but
I wanna know about you now. Zavari is also in
the room. Indeed. Yes, uh, Lady Zavari, I'm...
Yes, I'm familiar with your work. My work? Somewhat,
yes. You're a person of interest. As are you,
Reign, Vosgrove. And he kinda like rolls his
eyes like, I just want cats out of the bag. Obviously,
you're a frog of interest. Always. You know.
Although, you know... To Vren? Or... To everyone.
You guys are... Look at what you guys are doing.
We're not entirely unaware of your existence,
especially you, Lady Zavari. I mean, I don't
mean to be brash. It's just... Be transparent.
Please. Well, um... How is your relationship
with your empire? With the Emperor? Or... Yes.
Um... I mean, he is a close family friend. Oh,
I see. Friend of my father's. Well, yes, I do
understand that your father, um... Remu. Umbermoor,
is it? Yeah. Count. Count Riemann. Count Riemann.
Is it? Yes, I... It's... We are unsure as a military
unit of Emperor Dayan's whether or not you are
an ally. Quite frankly, I don't know that...
You're... You're kind of a wild card, I guess
is what you could say Your loyalty is questionable.
I suppose you could also say You can also say
the same for them Good night. I don't want to
like alarm you. I mean, it's just You you are
a prominent figure Your friends Not as much.
I mean, mainly we just know that Reign is your
friend. And we had suspicion that Dart was as
well, but it's very clear that you are. But it's
kind of hazy on what your abilities are. We haven't
gotten that far in our scouting. Good. He's like,
I'm probably saying too much. And you can tell
he's actually starting to get a little nervous.
He was pretty chill this whole time, and now
he's like, I'm talking myself into my grave right
now. Zavari has that stressed out smile of hers,
just big eyes, tight smile. Are you hungry? Not
right now, thank you. Questionable loyalty. Well,
it's just, I don't know. I don't know. Again,
it's not like you're the one that made that decree.
Well, I just want you to be aware that my view
of things is limited. They, you know, I'm a face.
Do you understand that kind of idea? They intentionally
kind of keep me in the dark on things. So I that's
my my my understanding like I don't I mean, I
don't know I guess He's like trying to like backtrack.
He's getting nervous. He's trying to backtrack
I said I guess I said too much So our reputation
precedes us then I have to assume that you know
That we will go so far as to challenge the Emperor
himself if that's what it takes to accomplish
our goals. And right now, you're kind of an obstacle
to our goals. You feeling me? Well, maybe not
you so much, but ol' Vren really is kind of a
problem. So, you know that we wouldn't have the
reputation we have as just three individuals.
if we weren't dangerous. This is true. We have
heard tales of the fall of Sir Peloton's militia.
He had it coming. No doubt. I mean, his name
was Peloton. He probably was a dick. Am I right?
He's trying to rouse everybody into laughter
because he's... That's how he copes. Yeah, you're
right. He was a dick. But he's gone. What are
you gonna do? It's a weird tension of cooperating.
Perfect. And he, like, runs his fingers through
his hair and, like, fixes his coif just via feel.
Just live check. Yeah. He's got like a Joe's
Gay almost situation. Beautiful pompadour. Yeah,
not quite a pompadour close, yeah. Reign does
the same but it's with the hat, with the fake
hair. Oh my god. You accidentally press a button
and it goes it's your move With the tension It's
true, but yeah Thank you so much for that valuable
information, yeah, it's just kind of like He's
a little bit like Why did I like say so Like,
um, and Zavari, you do feel that, like, um, a
Scorpius is influencing him a little. Okay, I
get it. He's rocking with me because a Scorpius.
Alright, quick, quick. I could turn to my candle
to set. Sidebar, quick sidebar. Um, so what I
think we should do... Semi semi long term is
Arrange for a meeting with this guy's dad, right?
I want you to know that I've never said an orc
a dwarf slur bring the sword To prove that we've
got his son shit and then basically let him know
that like We're gonna make a change in orc leadership
That's just gonna happen now he can either Play
that to his advantage and come out on top or
stand against us and go down with friend But
I feel like we need to make it clear that if
I Don't walk away from the negotiations and make
it back to you guys Then his son will be butchered
horribly But sidebar sidebar Oh Earmuffs That's
the only way to guarantee my safety if I'm gonna,
like, walk into the Orc den, so to speak. To
negotiate. Because I don't think, despite our
power and reputation, they were gonna be able
to take on all of Orc society without getting
them to turn on each other a little bit. So we
just gotta find the person... who wants power,
who's willing to deal, in the way that Blood
Harvester Wren obviously is not. That might be
the seeker that he told us about, that might
be his dad for all we know, but we're not gonna
find out anything unless we go talk to them.
Now, the other issue we have... is that it seems
likely they have captured Drift. And getting
Drift out alive is going to be a whole other
situation. I mean, it's possible that they may
be trying to do the same thing, you know. Yeah,
and a prisoner swap is not what we want to use
our leverage for. And I'm not sure, are they
aware that I'm your prisoner? Not yet, but they
will be soon. Gotcha, okay. Thank you for listening
to Roll Forth. This has been the Empire Initiative
featuring Samaria Hawkins as Lady Zavari slash
Lady Litria, Ryan Musgrove as King Dart of the
Hopkins, Rachel Voss as Rainn Vosgrove, and our
wonderful MD, Shanna Cantu. Make sure to follow
our socials, like, subscribe, do all the things,
and yeah, please stay safe friends. I was gonna
tell them in advance, and then this all just
sort of happened. It was like the perfect opportunity
though, because you were wishing. It was, you
were wishing. Like, I was fucking fired, you
know, right? I'm sorry I didn't cry. It was beautiful.
Upon a mummy. You can cry later. Oh my god, with
Shenron here, grant wishes. Oh my gosh. Shit.
Written in the stars. That makes sense.