Last time on the Empire Initiative, our heroes
prepared to face the Pharaoh's final trial, a
card game of his own design. If they lost, they
would be banished to the Umbra Realm, becoming
the newest additions to his personal deck. With
teamwork, strategy, and a bit of luck, they've
managed to hold their own so far, but the battle
continues. Will the Ham Crusaders come out on
top? This is episode 20, Heart of the Cards,
part 2. It's Daemarine's turn. Well, Daemarine
has a mouth of grossness that she's just gonna
open and spew all over the pharaoh and give it
right back to him. So you are gonna go, mind
crush. Mind crush. Hell yeah. She said it better
than me. She said it better than me. It's my
mimic. I will make a wisdom save. It's... a lot.
Uh huh. That's not great. It's 26. Yeah, that
saves. So he's not dazed, but he does take half
damage and it's 3d10. Nice try. You think that's
going to work on me? It starts to devolve. Do
I get to add my plus four? Because to this Plus
four from what for? My Oracle. Oh, yes. Okay,
so then 23 damage Yeah, so 11 So that is her
first attack I will then I would like to my goal
because I get my my extra attack right so my
goal is to throw him into the fire so that's
what I would like to do is like I would like
I don't think I can hit him and throw him into
the fire but because like I just want to move
him back you know so how would Like, I mean,
I would love to do damage with a hit, but I don't
know, mechanically, how you would like to do
that. You can... You can move to the other side
of him and, like, shelf him, in which case it'd
be like a contested athletics check. Or you could,
like, try to grapple him, in which case you would
make, like, an attack roll, and then you'd have
him, and then you could, like, then try to throw
him, if that makes sense. Wait, can you say that
last one? So you could either try to like grab
him and throw him or you could just try to shove
him Essentially if you if you just shove him.
It's just like a contested athletics check If
you try to grab him You'll have to like you'll
have to secure the grab and then also throw him.
I just want to shove him. Okay, so Since she's
colossal stance, I don't think she's gonna jump
over but she will do like a it's called a power
pivot in wheelchair basketball. And which is
like, she backs up and spins away and pushes
hard behind him and shoves him into the fire.
He's like, oh, oh, oh, and then you shove. So
you make an athletic check. Did you hex anything
you didn't know? Yeah, she I did hex him. What
did you know? But you never said what? know what
ability um so yeah that's okay i mean it's so
he's not the most athletic guy okay oh my god
i'm going to use my inspiration that's better
that is not great 18 i got a 17 Oh, because of
my oracle stuff, I knew what he was going to
do. And that's how I, I wouldn't know if I didn't
have that. Like my, my, yeah. My understanding
of how he would have moved or reacted. You shoved
him into the flames. Reign's ultra instinct.
And he failed the Dexing. Which makes sense because
he's getting shoved into it. Huh? No, that's
just plain rude! He says it defies backwards.
20 fire damage. Um, I can activate a trap right
now, right? Um, yeah, as long as like the trap
makes sense. Oh my gosh. Why was there a punji
stick trap right where that firewall was? He
is definitely getting an infection from this.
Oh my gosh. Maybe we might be burning a 15 foot
cube. So how, where do you want, do you want
to just like do it like this? Yeah, basically.
That seems appropriate. Oh, this is delightful.
So, I can put that there. So a pungy stick pit
opens up under the barrel. He's like, what? What's
the meaning of this? Creatures in the affected
area must make a deck save or fall into the pit
taking 2d6 piercing damage and 1d4 necrotic.
And it's against your, like, spell save DC, so
whatever. Oh, it says make a deck save of 14.
Oh! Well, damn. What's your spell save DC? 16.
Oh, we'll do 16. I gotta now what? Get fucked!
I'm actually in an abnormally long fall. Is this
poop? It's slimy. Horrible details. It's another
10 damage. Nice. Oh my gosh, y 'all, I'm not
even done with my - I think that so much has
happened! And so the trap stays, like, your car
will stay on the field until, like, somebody
destroys it. Indeed. Is that - Yeah, it's all
like the punchy sticks. Um, so - So now he's
in a pit and he's like, this is ridiculous. He's
in a flaming shit pit. Wonderful. My god. Um.
You are guests! Drinking a potion is a bonus
action at your table, correct? Correct. Okay.
I do have one of the potions from the tea shop.
It's only 2d4 plus two. So, but it's a bonus
action. And I don't know, I'm thinking about,
I have another Bardo I could give, but I am like
pretty fucking low. So I'm going to give Zavari
bardo for my bonus action and I'm done. I don't
have any more bardo. So that's a d6 And then
so that's bonus action. I movement I would like
to I I can I have my like Yeah, that's fine and
I can I am back to my like It was just to the
end of my turn. Okay, so Yeah, I have 15 feet
of movement. I would like to back up Like over
it this way. Yeah, perfect And then I can start
doing my card. So I'm going to summon No, I wanted
to wait till after I did all my rain stuff I
will summon Dauntless Dame the master of Ravens
yourself. If you or an ally control at least
one other ham crusader creature card, all ham
crusader creature cards gain 400 or 1d4 attack
and defense. In addition, all allies gain plus
two to their attack rolls and AC. Once per turn
you may generate a scrap token and place it on
a creature card. Is that also allies or just
creature card? um it can be allies too yeah okay
um so can i do that now or is that yeah it's
a once per turn dart gets a scrap so it's a flat
plus two to your damage and it's plus two hp
um and with that both since both zavari and dart
have scraps she is going to um play her mimicry
forest um battlefield bringing it back to the
faddle field um so that means the it gets am
i do i can i do a scrap on this turn or no yeah
one's for turning um so let me put the four scraps
on this i would then would like to take the scrap,
one of my scraps, and put it on the Zavari creature,
because I don't control that creature, right?
On the High Priestess. The High Priestess. The
Infernal Priestess. Infernal Priestess, yeah.
You can either put it on here or you can put
it on the card. Let's put it on the card, probably,
since it's smaller. So now she has plus 200 attack
and defense. Plus, okay. And then plus 400 because
of rain. Uh -huh. So plus 600. And then at the
start of each of your turns, so it's next turn
for that? For the Mimics? Yes. Okay. They're
also supposed to do it when you play it, my bad.
So that means Zars is up to 400? Because I added...
Plus 400 for being Dame Reign so it's 1600 plus
your 400 plus the scrap I'm trying y 'all. I'm
trying to be a utilitarian like hard user right
now Oh, I need to put her on the battle I would
like to put her where I was so like 15 feet that
way and What happens is for flavor? um basically
rain backs up but like a copy of her stays oh
my gosh so she like a substitution yeah um and
so it just like it stays there and then rain
backs up 15 feet and he's just like trying to
climb his way out of the pit he just kind of
looks up very clever I almost, for some reason,
imagined the card rain to almost look like animated.
An anime. An anime rain. Oh, yeah. I never mentioned
that. Damn. I was going to say, yeah, that the
cards look like paintings or like sort of, you
know, a little surreal. Yeah. A little surreal.
Imagine the Infernal Priest is like an idealized
version. Yeah. Like how you look in your heart
of hearts at your most confident Infernal priestess
Well The noble air is gonna bang bang. Oh, yeah
I was like, I'm not done yet Just a roll detour
I'm assuming he's not like in a pit uh do i have
to like oh well i mean he's like in it but like
you can shoot it if that makes sense like um
he doesn't have any other effect than like being
an obstacle 12 hell yeah damn so let's see he's
for me it's ironic that you've shot him while
he has 357 now why Because a .357 is a type of
gun. Oh. The whole thing is a gun. Oh. Well,
bang, bang. You're definitely putting the hurt
on him. And that ends my turn. Enough is enough.
I'm like, what? I told you it was going to be
a good round. That was awesome. Yeah. Damn. Get
in there. Get in there. Fuckin' field spell back?
I know. The umbral realm is destroyed. My umbral
realm! And I just think it's so cute that Zaris
and Rain are playing together. They're like,
they're giving each other hard eyes. Oh my god.
Samaria, will you do me a favor and push my spider
forward 15 feet? They're just trying to impress
each other. And then... uh put this next to him
i am uh if i move him can i change his uh you
can change his battle position once per turn
so yeah it doesn't it regardless of whether or
not you move him i'll do that and put my singing
frog into the field um so yeah a frog that's
playing a banjo and uh croaking a tune Comes
out of the... it comes out of the card you play.
I can't wait to produce this. You had a thing
still where you can sacrifice a card and delete
a negative effect and that thing is a negative
effect. I will sacrifice this horrible card that
I do not want to be burdened by. It basically
makes things die. Such strange cards. It appears
that your bloodline is cursed, Lady Zavari. So
got rid of that negative effect for you. So Dart
discarded a card called Soul Corruption. And
as you discard it, it does for a moment, like
there's like a flare around you, like an evil
sort of tainted looking flare of like soul aura.
But as you discard it, it releases and it goes
into your cemetery and a tem kind of peeks his
head out from inside the pit. And he's like,
there's something wrong with your soul. Did you
know that? To cite a long lost reference. Mind
your own fucking business! Very well. Honestly,
such a good sport. I'm gonna follow that up by
casting Greedy Sticky Tongue. So all of my allies
may draw one card. Including yourself. That's
what the fuck I'm talking about. Oh, fucking
snap. Boom. I sense I'm in trouble. That's what
the fuck I'm talking about. I'm in danger. Let's
go. Let's fucking go. Good move, Dart. I'm also
going to cast Blessing of Sylvanas. Ooh. What?
Record scratch. Record scratch. All allies are
healed for 10 plus 2d10 HP. Wait, what did you
say? You are healed for 10 plus 2d10 HP. Oh my
gosh. Thank you Sylvanas. 10 plus 2d10. Take
it as temporary. It's 10 plus 2d10. I got...
16 plus 10. Nice. Nice. Thank you, Sylvanas.
So yeah, for a moment, when you cast it for a
moment, the arena above all the mimic trees,
it becomes kind of cloudy and there's a very
gentle, misty rain that rains down on everyone
and it's like a healing rain and right at the
end, peaks of sunlight come through the clouds
and kind of embrace you and gently... Dry you
off and you are healed slash have temporary HP.
In addition, it negates all negative effects
affecting all allies and allied creature cards.
Any cards that were negated in this way are destroyed.
All allies have the effect of guidance on them
until the end of their next turn. Nice. God fucking
shit. There's a lot going on. So we have guidance.
You have guidance. Yeah, since there's nothing...
Relevant for it to negate it doesn't do that
But you guys get the guidance and you get the
heal and you got to draw a card and you're blessed
by so honest great round Thank you from freeing
me from my shackles. Thank you for healing me
above a hundred hit points Now if you get uncomfortably
low And then I read this before I continue Sorry
It's from Silvatus Asmodeus wouldn't want me
taking this, I know. All weed is from Sylvanus.
It's from rain. Asmodeus wouldn't want me taking
this. That's true because that one time he got
real salty about it when he tried. Sylvanus is
not an enemy of Asmodeus. No. I'm about to say
he probably gets his weed from Sylvanus. You
know, Asmodeus can be kind of territorial. I
know. You know. I guess since he could be shot
by Zaris, I assume he can be shot by me. Yeah.
Okay, so. Shot by a dart! He has Hunter's Mark
on him. I have Dreadful Strikes. Da -da -da -da
-da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da
- I'm gonna sharpshooter with guided strike so
that's fun which I did not need to do like at
all that's 31 I'm gonna say that probably hits.
So that's... What's with the sudden change in
battle momentum? Seems as my umbra renewal has
backfired. Sucks to suck. That's not very nice.
I'm sorry, you're right. He has been actually
very cordial. You are very cordial, you're respectful.
Yeah, he hasn't called us a bitch once. You're
right, you're right. in other circumstances we
would be homies right this is a friendly match
it's a it's a challenge i respect that i want
to rephrase and reframe my mind you are a rival
you are not an enemy i mean sure if you lose
you join my deck but that's not that big of a
deal it's not personal i mean it is a little
bit of a big deal It is a card breaker, a deck
breaker, a deal breaker, I don't know. Deck breaker
should be a sword. If you try to put me in a
card, you're gonna have to talk to my patron
about it. That's all I know. I have so much stuff.
Call Asmodeus. Do it. What? Put her in a card
and deal with Asmodeus. If you try to put me
in a card, you're gonna have to deal with my
patron. She's already in a box. That's a bottle.
No, 23 damage. Oh, I'm sorry. So far I'm gonna
take psychic damage. Your arrow strikes true.
I'm gonna try and shoot another arrow. Oh, you
get plus two and then also the guidance if you
didn't... Oh, right. We hear AC is plus two and
your hits are plus two. I mean, AC is plus two
because of AC. Yeah, AC is plus two. So that's...
Absolutely ridiculous if you ask me. There's
a lot going on. Thanks, guys. Yeah. Mother...
Guidance never does shit for me. That sucks.
Okay, so that's... That is exactly 18. That hits.
That is his armor class, you got it. But no special
damage. Alas, no. So that's just... D8 plus one.
Plus one D6. Oh, come on, motherfucker. Yo, Piercer!
I can re -roll one! Let's do it, Piercer. When
I played with Zelda, I gave Quip Piercer. No,
that's slightly better. That's, uh, nine damage.
Nice. Not bad, yeah. Ouch. He's close to half
health. It's not quite there, but close. Hell
yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and use another
one of my War Priests for a third arrow. What?
Do it, do it, do it. I gotta stop doing it. That's
so funny. It's so great. It's what they did in
the hammer. I'm gonna use my inspiration because
I rolled a nat 1. Woo! 19. Damn. You got me.
For another 10 damage. Oh, smell. Even closer
to half. So close, like two, it's two. All right,
you're down to two. 250 is half. Yeah. I gave
it everything I had, you guys, I spent. Literally
every card I got. That was an amazing turn. Great
job. I hope my next draw is amazing. It's the
Pharaoh's turn. I have to get myself out of this
poop trap. Does he only take that damage one
time? I'm not really sure. Yeah, it's only like
when somebody falls into it. So if he gets pushed
back into it, then he takes the damage again.
And if anything falls into it, they take the
damage. But he does have to fucking roll for
goddamn wall of fire. It's a 19. Succeeds. You
take 10 damage. Damn, that's fire. Burn, baby.
That's what I'm thinking about. He's gonna move
over like in the corner, kind of trying to get
further away from danger. The duo rain situation
happening. Yeah, that's tough. He's like looking
down two rains, right? Right next to him. My
god. I will set a card face down. And crap. I
gotta make something happen. I have to make something
happen. So what is the attack of Dame Reign the
Ham Crusader? Two decent. And then plus. plus
the addition because there are other ham crusaders
on the field. So it should be 24. Yeah, yeah.
24, okay. You give me no choice. I am going to
summon my conjured skull fiend. Oh, boy. Oh,
actually, I think it has. Does it have rain?
Mo, what is the? It does. What is the thing?
My Conjured Skull Fiend has 2 ,500 attack points.
No, guys! Fiendish Lightning Attack! You can
attack the same turn you're dropped? Yeah. Yeah.
It's just the first turn everybody played cards
there, cards get an attack, it wasn't until...
Reign's second turn started that, like, all cards
can attack and they can attack the turn they
summon. Oh! Sorry, there's no summoning sickness.
Well, shit. Did you have range? 30 feet? No.
I have nothing. No, anybody have a trap card
that'll help? It's okay, it's the way the cards
have dealt. Not exactly. Take one damage? Yes,
you take one damage. I suffer, my heart is shattered.
The Zara's card looks really sad. He looks shocked
and upset. Zara's card is about to go out in
a blaze of glory. With that... Zavari just saw
Rain die. Oh my god, yeah you did. You just saw
Rain get shattered before your eyes. And for
a moment... For a moment, you might have been
confused about which rain was the real one, you
know? The Infernal Priestess is sad, too. All
the ham potatoes are sad. The forest is sad.
The sad mimic trees. Oh my god! It's not my turn!
I got it on my turn. It's Zavara's turn. I got
confused. Wait, it's, well, it's still the Barrow's
turn. Oh, shit. Oh, gosh. He hasn't done anything.
He just played cards. Fuck. The Barrow is going
to kind of, he sort of like scoops his hand sort
of around his puzzle that's around his neck,
the pyramid. And it starts to glow and crackle
with like an electricity. And he is going to,
he's going to use his ability, and it's called
Raigeki. So he's going to select a creature,
Zavari, and he can target up to three other creatures
within 30 feet of Zavari, which is going to be
Dart and the Infernal Priestess card. And you
guys will have to make deck saves. So he blasts
you with lightning. This is essentially the spell
Chain Lightning. It's a spell. Yes. My deck save
was a natural 20 plus 8. Wow. Reference X -Men.
You know what happens when a frog gets struck
by lightning? Nothing when you roll a natural
20. Damn. Woo! Can I counterspell this? You can
attempt to. She lit me as high. It is a high,
a fairly high level spell, so you will have to
roll. I'll just take it. I'll just take the damage.
Uh, roll a dex save, yeah. 14. 28. Natural 20.
Zavari. You take 46 lightning damage. 46? 46.
And Dart, you take 23. God damn. Keep it rolling,
natural 20 on the save. It doesn't save me. So
you still take half damage, yeah. But that's
the only time he can cast that. Okay. And that's
the end of his turn. So you see Rain die, Rain
sees you both get fucked up and you especially
like the full brunt of the electricity hits you.
Yeah. And you're like the conduit where the electricity
sprouts out from you and shocks the heart. 99H.
Does he have something on the field? The Pharaoh?
Yes, he has the Conjured Skull Fiend, which has
2500 attack and 1200 defense. So 12 HP. I am
going to fucking blast at that thing. You're
just taking out all those damn monsters. Do you
have guidance still? Yeah. Okay. Okay, let's
just, you know... Blast! 22. Yeah, that hits.
It's an AC of 12 for the cards. Not my skull,
fiend! I just summoned him. Oh, I don't - I only
do 6 damage. Do it. Oof. Yeah. Not enough. That's
okay. Um, the other beam I'm gonna try and hit
the pharaoh, though. Okay. Oh. Um, 30. He hasn't
even been able to use his like shield reaction
because you guys keep hitting him way over his
AC. Okay, so then I have a bunch of bonuses to
that. Oh god. There are like creature revival
cards and stuff like that. A 28 damage to the
Pharaoh. That's the way the cards were done.
Oh yeah, I know, I know. I'm just letting you
guys know that they're in your deck. Some people
have it. How much damage are you doing to the
Pharaoh? 28. Wow. How? Hey. He's hexed. So yeah,
he's now below half hit points. And the Infernal
Priestess saw Rune get shattered and she's like,
enough is enough. She takes out a gun. Oh my
god. What? Damn. Oh my god. So are you putting
that on your priestess? Yeah. So what is it?
What is it called and what does it do? It's called
Firepower. And it's Percy from Box Machina holding
a gun. That's funny. And the card says, a creature
equipped with this card gains 600, so 1d6 attack,
and gains a range of 20 feet. Okay, so if you're
attaching it to your infernal priestess, she
also has 200 from her scrap, so she would be
at 2 ,800. 2 ,800? Which is, gasp, it's more
than my skull beam! Sorry, I have a lot of numbers
going on in here in my notes. Okay, I'm gonna
do that and if I want to get closer to the action,
does Zavari also need to move in to give the
monsterly way or? No, the monster can be as far
away from you as it wants to be. I want to move
up as much as I can. Yeah, I can't really. It's
35. Yeah. Just out of range. Just barely. Damn.
I mean calculated. I'm on my way. I'm making
my way to the battle. That's all I got. I attacked.
I did some cards though. So at the end of your
turn, the Pharaoh will activate his legendary
action, Heart of the Cards, in which he will
get to look through his deck and put a card of
his choice on top. This is a but I mean And I
gotta but that's what it's having about that
I have a scratch So yeah, you have extra 200.
Is that what the scraps are? Uh, yeah 200 and
or if it's on it is it on you or is it on your
card? It's on me Then it's like a plus two to
your damage and plus two to your health and mimic
stone attack you. Mimic trees don't attack you.
That's why I initially really wanted to give
it to you. Yeah. So, um, yeah. So he activates
his heart of the cards and now it is rainstorms
and we all draw a card. That's exactly what I
needed. What are the chances? Yugi's a dirty
cheater. How far away is the, uh, the creature
from the punchy pit? Is the punchy pit still
there? Oh yeah, about 20 feet. Okay, well I might
do one card face down. You can roll your mimic
trees whenever you're ready. It's 1d6? It's 1d4,
right? It is 1d6 isn't it? Yeah, and then 1d12
is the damage. Two. Two. So they will attack
random creatures. They can't attack Zavari or
Infernal Creestess or Dart. Zavari, do you have
a Scrawl Boddy? Yeah. So you can't attack Zavari.
Or Zavari's Infernal Creature. So I don't know
what to do with it. One, two, three. Or could
attack Charlie Big Bod? What are the other ones?
One hits the Conjured Skull Fiend. Yes, they
are fair game. One hits the Conjured Skull Fiend.
The other one hits the Conjured Skull Fiend.
18 damage total total well that's enough to destroy
him really yes Jesus curses so the trees destroy
his being oh that's ridiculous I have had a card
on this table since the opening hand that I have
not played like I'm waiting for the moment but
I just like I don't want to rob other people
of their thunder Oh, it's all it's all it's teamwork
thunder. So, you know Oh, it's time will come
certainly would like to give a scrap To I'm gonna
give it to the infernal conduit or the the priestess
So that she's like super powered as she's coming
in for it's another 200 so now three thousand
attack oh my god what this has to be cheating
then going to summon damn that priestess is literally
a loaded gun bang bang i'm going to summon grand
mentor makara um and What if so he's gonna have
two scrap tokens and you may move one scrap token
per turn So I'm gonna be able to move another
scrap token, but once per turn instead of attacking
you may activate one of the following effects
Target one card on the field and return to the
owner's hand, which was my thought for the thing,
but then it's gone So now target one creature
or creature card and push them 15 feet in any
direction. I was thinking about pushing the Pharaoh
15 feet towards the fire slash punchy sticks.
I think he's what, 30 feet away? Or 25 feet away?
25. So he moves 15 feet that way. Then he'd be
10 feet away from it. Yeah. I see what you're
trying to do. And then, Zars is going to bang
bang. Okay, um, where's your token? Oh. Oh yeah,
and then who am I going to give it to? Yeah,
and plus like your mentor. You gotta play him.
Oh. Um, yeah. Thank you. Um, yeah. And then,
Macadies. Well you can put them anywhere technically.
Yeah, I like where you had them. Right here.
You're good. I'm gonna give this to Zaris. So
that Zaris will suck a little bit more. Does
more damage and whatnot. Yeah. I was thinking
about doing you, but you're already at 3 ,000.
The Zaris card looks over at you and goes. Blows
a kiss. There's like a little heart. A little
animated heart. Rain grabs it and then puts it
on a piece of paper and keeps it forever. The
Infernal Priestess. Zaurus is making all the
heart signs and kissy signs to their sister,
Zavari. Zaurus has the Scrap now. Is that okay?
And then Bang Bang? Or because they didn't do
the Bang Bang. You haven't rolled your damage
at Circle Head now. So that would be what? It
would be 12 plus 2. Plus 2 in this circumstance.
Once it bumps it up to another die, then you...
Three. Three hit points. Thanks, babe. Little
pick me up. Too busy giving love, love to their
favorite ladies in their life. Um, that was Zaris.
They moved them. We've done the Mimics. The Mimic
token. I've already done that summon, so now
it's Rain's turn. Rain is ready to punch this
motherfucker out. She is still colossal -stanced.
Yeah, you are. And 20 feet away, right? Less
than 20 feet, so I can make it there? Yeah. Like
a fucking freight train just... His eyes widen.
She pushes so like when she's in colossal stance
fluxes more like a wheelchair than like the limber
Spider crab I would say so rain has to push and
propel more often in Colossal stance, which is
why she is slower I feel another reason and so
she's just like pushing as hard as she can and
try to create as much speed and is going to uh
basically like ramming try to punch him right
in the stomach with the first punch oh a gut
punch oh so okay you need my chainmail huh um
no because then i'd be slower uh my chainmail
gives advantage to shove shit just want to make
sure damn you're right um Which I have yet to
take advantage of. I just want to make sure I'm
adding this up right. Wait, yeah, 16. So then
she's gonna use her extra attack. She misses.
He's able to dodge it. You really like that gut
punch. I'm starting to get used to it. She then
so if she Misses her whole like and he like steps
aside her whole momentum is going forward So
she then uses it to almost like flip herself
forward because she wants to be like Not predictable.
So she wants to flip herself forward and just
like shove Herself back onto him for her extra
attack. Oh, okay ouch Wheel's first. Wheel's
first. Nat 20. Oh my god. Oh yeah. She says in
shock. Especially since she's in colossal stance
too. Oh my god. So her oracle ability. Can't
shield from that. Her oracle ability is like
I need to be like... He can't know what I'm going
to do next. And so it's, uh, she goes back like
and tries to like land on top of him essentially.
Um, so. Okay. It would be 16 damage. Okay. Cause
I just do my modifier once, right? I don't do
it twice. Yes. That's okay. So then 16. Oh, okay.
I'm sorry. Sorry. I doubted you. And then so
this is a friendly fight bow. And then so she's
like pushed herself back. She is going to spend
an energy point to do fury of blows. So I say
she probably so she's gone past him and her going
backwards. She is like hit him in the back. And
so I feel like his head is now like Near her
shoulder like the back of his head. So she's
No, she's gonna grab it grab their head like
neck around her neck and do the like Wrestling
like what is that move called like but like where
she drops? I don't know what it's called like
a stunner like a stunner. I don't know like People
we need to Google it so we sound cool But yeah,
so that's what she wants to try to do. She's
pushed back, hit him with her wheels. He's probably
curled back in a shrimp. She reaches back, grabs
his neck, and then uses her shoulder and brings
him down. Cause she's in colossal stance. So
she's like, she's really trying to use the like
gravity. Um, Zaris is just like, the Elmo meme
with the fire. Oh no, I didn't get it. Um, so
that was, so I got, uh, It's 15, so I'm gonna
do my other one. Oh, I have guidance! What's
my guidance? It's a D4. It's a D4. It wouldn't
get... If it said it would be 17. You'd have
to get three. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You
guys, you gotta have 15, so you could get...
Let's try it. Let's try it. I believe in you.
One. Not enough. It wasn't meant to be. There's
a second, I have a second attack because of fury
of blows. He's like, oh, that would have been
devastating. Well, I got a 12 plus 11, so 23.
That is devastating. So I missed the first time
I wanted to go forward and I looked and look
at the fire and instead of going for the neck,
I go for the hair. I was gonna say the back of
the shirt, but the hair would be perfect. And
I want to just like throw him forward. I don't
think I can throw him the full 10 feet. That's
okay. But like just like, try to throw him over
over my shoulder. Okay. I'll have him make a
deck save. You want my monk for a 17? If it's
your monk stuff, well, I got a 14, so I'll say
you're able to throw him... Within 10 feet of
the fire? Fire wolf? Yes. So he has to take fire
damage on... On his turn, yes. Okay, yay! I did
it guys! That's what I was trying to do. Did
I hit you with something? You didn't roll any
concentration checks. Damn, you're right. Let's
remember next time. Okay, okay Cuz god damn all
right, I think that my Holy raw I did all the
things. Okay. Wait, so that was my action I Didn't
do my bonus action You did you did your fury
of blows? Oh, you're right. Thank you. Thank
you. Thank you. I'm that that ends my turn God
that better be all you have! Okay I'm gonna use
my singing frogs ability. Once per turn I can
activate one of the following effects and I'm
going to daze one creature until the end of my
next turn and I'm gonna daze the pharaoh because
he's the only enemy on the board. Okay, um, so
his next turn he can take Like one action or
movement. He can't do both Okay then he's like,
oh so yeah, it's like the so the frog like croaks
that's like And it like confounds the Pharaoh
he's like What what is this music? I'll never
get it out of my head I just can't get you out.
I shouldn't have had to throw our smiles. Then
I will... Yeah, I'll just, I'll fire my arrows.
Yay. Arrows. Natural 20 rules. Oh snap! Lots
of natural 20s this episode. I'm not gonna forget
my piercer this time. Holy raw! Gosh, we're combining
raw and Yu -Gi -Oh and D &D. We're such fucking
nerds. Four. Eight. I'm gonna re -roll the...
Shouldn't have done that. So that's 6 plus 8
plus 3 which is 14, 15, 17 plus the sharpshooter
is 27 plus 1 is 28 plus 3 is 2. What? This is
absurd. Wait, what did I say that was? Nerf Yart.
27, 28. Nerf please sponsor us. Oh my god, nerf
money. Oh my god. 37. Oh snap. 37 points of damage
in one arrow. My god. Jesus. Sylvanas. Then I'll
fire my second. Now do it again. There's another?
19. Yeah. That hits the old chap. 15. But that's
it. Because I only get to do the dreadful strikes
once per turn. Or it only gets to hit one at
a time. The Pharaoh is down to 178. Let's fucking
do this, guys. Blah blah. Did you add your, like,
scrap stuff? I did not. Ooh, plus two, plus two.
So plus four. So plus four. That's four more
damage. God! And he's dazed. Oh yeah, shit. Man
fact it up! What quality does your character
value most in a friend? Reins? what she values
in her friends, what quality is, I guess, creativity.
Generally, the more creative a person is, the
more willing to, not willing, but is more open
to... being creative, right? Like, doing things
outside of the box, doing things not because
everyone says to do it that way, but, um, and
is more, like, open to Reign as a person, right?
Because she's, like, a super creative, like,
person. That's cool. That makes sense. Like,
people who are ready to bend their brains at
any moment. Mm -hmm. I think for Dart it is it's
not a it's not exactly a straightforward thing
because I want to say like a sense of humor but
it's not really the sense of humor that he's
like looking for it's more like the sense of
humor is like a sign of the thing that he is
looking for because the funniest people have
been through some shit. And Dart doesn't want
to be friends with anybody who hasn't been through
some shit. And still manage to come out on the
other side with good humor about it. And not
even necessarily about what happened to them,
but just still able to have humor after having
been through some shit. That's what I would say.
That makes sense. Yeah, that's legit. For Zavari,
this is actually kind of a hard question. It's
not something I feel like she would ever considered,
like, values to look for in a friend. But digging
past that a little bit, I feel like something
that she would really value in a friendship would
be softness, kindness, you know? Given, you know,
her background and where she grew up and everything,
a lot of people are not very kind or soft because
that can mean putting yourself in like a vulnerable
position. So when she finds people that are kind
of authentically soft, that really intrigues
her and she really likes that and she, you know,
just kind of gravitates towards it. I think Drift
would not like to acknowledge this because it
seems like a little too cliche, but I think really
what speaks to him is like conviction, like belief
in one's like cause or goal. Ultimately, like,
that I think is what drew him to the Crusaders.
Like, people who have a powerful sense of purpose
have always been, like, you know, fascinated
to him and also, like, just he feels drawn to
people like that. The patrons will get the other
one. Yeah, like, here's a sneak peek for a character
you have no idea. Yes, only for the select, the
premium ham. Ham factored down. Dammit. Okay.
I can't move. I have to either move or attack.
That sucks because I have to, I need to move.
Damn frogs. I forgot to let my Conjured Skullvein
attack twice. This is my fault. It is what it
is. Curses! Okay, I have completely forgotten
to use that cool Featherfield spell I picked
up like a million times. Eventually we'll get
there. Yeah, I'm done. That's it for me. Okay,
it is the Pharaoh's turn. I have to roll a deck
save. Oh no. Does that look disadvantage? I got
a nat 20. Dan, you figured out my fire. And it's
like, you're like probably on the cusp of it,
right? Yeah. You're on the edge. So close to
those punchy sticks though. 17, so 8. Still fucking
ouchies, man. You're ridiculous. So he's going
to move instead of attacking, but he's also going
to play some cards here. I will start by activating
my incantation. Greedy Pottery! Son of a bitch
with that Greedy Pottery! This card allows me
to draw two cards from my deck and add it to
my hand. I want to use my trap card. You have
activated my trap card. Oh, good fucking God.
Incantation thief. No! Negate the activation
of an incantation card and add that card to your
hand. That's what the fuck. Rain is making a
comeback, baby. And she's got that voice stealer.
Holy shit. You may play the incantation as if
you were... As if the card is your own, I think
is what it says. Yeah, if you have not activated
stolen incantation at the end of your turn, discard
the incantation. Okay. Yeah, so basically next
turn you can play it and if you don't play it,
then you just put it back in my inventory. Rain
is coming back. I was like... Do I do it? And
then I remembered that the card you want is on
top and I was like, yup, yup, I'm taking it.
I love it when a plan comes together. Man, this
is why, I think this is why you shat on me so
hard the first time I played you. She was chasing
a high. Because you knew that I would be so good.
She had to try to keep you down. I'm sweating
a bit. Alright, I will... Summon my Winged Fiend
Dofamate in defense mode. And when I summon him,
I can get one mythical beast, Rozelle, from my
deck and add it to my hand. And now that I have
Rozelle in my hand and Dofamate on the field,
I confuse them. Oh shit, we're in fusion? Well,
oh, I can. Oh. Oh. He has a fusion card. You
guys don't. I also have to start reading my cards
like, who can, who can have a baby? Who's fused?
I refuse to fuse. Same. I am going to summon
Fiendish Flying Chimera. Oh my god. What are
the things, the stamps? It has 2100 attack and
1800 defense. Let's sick that thing on it. And...
What? It's just Zavari with a gun. That's literally
all. This is why Zavari doesn't have a gun. Because
you'd be too powerful. In another world, Zavari
is like a hexblade and her thing is a gun. In
the AU, there's... There definitely is. Curse
you. I am now going to activate my trap card.
Sorcerer's Circle. I'm scared. This card allows
me to special summon one spellcaster creature
from my cemetery. Oh god. And I choose sinister
Sorcerer of Chaos. Oh my god. When he is summoned,
I get to add one incantation from my deck to
my hand. Pong. I am fucking - You're sweating
hard. Sweating. But I choose the Incantation
Sinister Spellbook. And now, my fiendish - Oh,
how much attack does the air have? What? How
much attack does your air have? The czar's card?
Oh, I thought you said air, like A -I -R, and
I was like, oh, Mac. H -E -I -R, yeah. He's got
a scrap, right? 1d12 plus two. So it'd be 1 ,400?
Mm -hmm. Okay, so my fiendish flying chimera
will attack your noble heir. So you would take
seven damage. My baby. Okay. He looks up and
he's like... He goes, oh! And then it makes like
a fainting, a very dramatic like fainting, you
know, motion, and then, pssh! Back down to 96.
Oh, they're together in the cemetery. And now
my fiendish flying chimera will use its second
attack on rain. Wait, yeah, it can hit rain.
for eight damage so this flying chimera flies
over and Slashes at you and returns to its position
and and now my sinister sorcerer Which I didn't
put on the field because I'm a fool Where are
you sinister sorcerer? I had you earlier That's
okay. I will use this to represent the Sorcerer
of Chaos. He has 30, so... Do you know you have
30? Do you know you have 30, man? Is that what
you were saying? Yeah. Oh, perfect. He's going
to attack Charlie Bigbottom. How much attacks
does Charlie Bigbottom have? Oh no. This is gonna
hurt. Six hundred? Six hundred. And I have twenty
eight hundred. So you will take twenty... Uh,
no I won't. Oh! You're gonna return him to your
hand! Once for a round I can return him to my
hand and it's targeted for an attack. Charlie
Big Brother! Um, and damn, and then of course...
Of course everything else is out of range. Charlie!
Well played. Is Raiden the only person I can
attack again? Don't do it. Bring it. Take the
brunt of the damage this far. Might as well keep
going. I tried to heal you as much as I could.
I am forever grateful. God dang it. Dirt is at
35. Attack! Shit! Wait, who's attacking? So the
Sinister Sorcerer of Chaos is attacking with
Rain. I did four damage. I rolled a 101 and a
two. Just a flesh wound. And it's gonna attack
Rain again. I'm down at 92. And this time it
is 17 damage. Booyah! 75. And now you're in my
turn, Zavari. Okay, it's your move. Your priestess
is out there fucking with it, just... Blastin'.
Got the spirit of Zareth. Just saw her brother
go down. I mean, how's Zavari feeling right now?
Like, she has been disassociating for a while
now. There's just like nothing going on. There's
absolutely nothing going on behind those eyes.
Just found emptiness. I'm gonna cast Healing
Word at Rain. Aww, thank you. That is 1d4 plus
3. It's not much, but it's honest work. Do you
want me to roll or do you want me to take out
my greedy pottery? Do you want me to roll it
or do you want to roll it? Uh, you can roll it.
4 plus what? 1d4 plus 3. 82. That's my bonus
action. Thanks, friend. Of course. What is the
word? What is rainier? This is a hell of a hallucination,
isn't it? And she just clocks you and she's just
like, I know. That's the only way Zavara can
cope right now. This is a hell of a drug. Wow.
Um. Then I... My god. I'm gonna do what I do
best, or I'm gonna last the favor. Did you use
healing word? That's a bonus action. Oh shit,
you're right. I'm gonna double check. No, you're
right, you're right. Sorry, I forgot. Yeah, it
is. Okay. I forgot that it was a bonus action.
I always like to double check. 19 on the first
attack. 17 on the second attack. He's going to
use his reaction to do the light sword shield.
And his AC is increased by 5 until the end of
his next turn. So his AC is now 23. I also need
to roll concentration. Oh, yeah. I want to narc
on myself, but we mentioned it. How much damage
did you take? I don't remember. Okay, we'll just
roll concentrates. It'll be like 10. I mean,
it's constitution, so. I hate it. I'm never getting
rid of that fire mole. You gave me the item,
bro. I'm not. I'm not. I'm just. Regretting it.
I'm just kidding. Thank you. I appreciate part
of the fun is like complaining about it, you
know, I Feel like it, you know, just showing
off how how effective it is by bitching about
it. Thanks You just outplay me that's all it
is It's a farm puts down the ideal like arch
me the idyllic archmage. Yeah So basically this
card is taste And it says, once per turn, the
controller of this card can activate one of the
following effects. Discard one card to recover
one incantation from their cemetery, discard
one incantation to recover 10 hit points. And
if Infernal Priestess is on the field and would
be destroyed, you can destroy this card instead.
That's some insurance. That's smart. That's a
smart play there. Let's go. Let's go. Charlie
Bigbottom. I love Charlie Bigbottom so much.
I don't know why I attacked your Charlie Bigbottom.
I knew. I know. You made it. Gosh. You were just
play testing. The feet from her is there. And
then I can't move the internal priestess from
where I am. Where would you like to move? She's
like, help me understand. She's like the big
dog at the dog park, right? Yeah. Okay. Can I
hit that thing? The turned over one? Yeah. Yeah,
I want to hit it. You just declare an attack
on it with your infernal priestess. I am attacking
it with my infernal priestess You have 3 ,000
attack. I have 2 ,800 attack. So I did two damage
and my Sorcerer of Chaos is destroyed. Yay. I'm
a big dog at the dog. I'm a great Dane. Do it.
Do it. Woof. There's a song that you should listen
to called woof. I can not keep that thing on
the field to save my life. That's it for my turn.
Other than that, Zavari is like, you know, at
the shirtless taste on the field. He just has
his cloak on, no shirt. And he looks like really
he's got like a bed head hair, you know. If you
look, Zavari is flashing. She is flustered. He's
holding a potted plant. What kind of plant? It's
a succulent. I feel like it tastes like Mother
of Pearls. The one that shrinks down. And his
would be really, really long because he's good
at keeping care of plants. He's like, I'm going
to put down my plant for battle. This is not
a battle plant. She's like, oh, don't worry,
baby, you're not going to fight. Is that the
end of your turn? Yeah, that's it. Everybody
draw a card. Okay. Well, the first thing Rain
is going to do is use this card, the Greedy Pottery.
Yeah, damn it. Huzzah. So then I discard? Yeah,
you'll put it in my, my, my sanitary tank. I
was like putting it in mine. That's my card,
so. Okay. Don't forget about your mimic trees.
Oh, yeah I'm gonna summon the mimic tree. I thought
like so many more like battlefield and get like
I thought everybody would end up playing there
is like so We're just getting smacked by trees.
That's part of the reason why I haven't played
mine. Mimic trees are doing work. We? I straight
up have not drawn mine. I would, and here's my
mimic tree. I want... That was the card from
my opening hand that's been on the table. Can
you just put it 15 feet away from me somewhere?
Are you summoning? Yeah. Maybe on the side closer
to the pharaoh. I'm summoning my mimic tree.
I am giving out who doesn't have a scrap taste
What is the I mean neither of my frogs have defense
mode And what does the mimic tree do? If mimic
forest is on the field, this creature card gains
600 attack and defense points. This card may
attack while it's in defense position and it's
on defense mode. So it's at 2000 defense and
still can attack. Yeah. I love cards that can
attack while they're in defense. It's one of
my favorite abilities. It makes sense for the
mimic tree for sure. I'm gonna give this to Tace,
the scrap to Tace, from the mimic tree field.
Aw, nice. And then, are there any other ones
that aren't mine that don't have a scrap? Yeah,
my frogs. Can you give this to one of your frogs?
Give it to the Frog Avenger. it's like in the
here's another one i printed out a bunch i still
might be out of enough but that's okay we have
more little pieces of paper if we be boy i am
going i think i made you like 10 or 12 or something
put uh one card face down i have to get rid of
this one because that's yeah that's done done
i am going to use macara grand mentor macarons
um ability that once per turn I can either make
them move or make one card go back to their deck
so can you make that fusion card go back to your
deck please? So yeah so normally the card would
go back to my hand but because this is a fusion
card it does go back to my extra deck and because
it isn't destroyed its effect doesn't go off
Okay, thanks. Thanks, Barry. Well played. When
it's destroyed, it can summon like one of the
monsters used to make it from the grave, but
because you didn't destroy it, you just sent
it back. You don't get shit. I don't get a goddamn
thing. Fuck you, God. I'm too good at designing
cards. Damn it. I have to use my greedy pottery.
I'm so bad. This has been ten years in the waiting
for Rachel. I want you to know she's dreamt about
this. I should have known for ten long years.
The mimic tree is gonna kick your ass. I was
so worried that Rain's neck was weak compared
to the other two. I don't know why. I don't know
why I thought that. The mimic tree is gonna hit
you with Two or with 1200 so a d12, right? Yeah
Twelve cheese no ten ten ten and then are you
gonna roll for your trees? Oh, yeah, how many?
random mimic trees smack to to and then So who
is not scrapped? Just the Pharaoh and... One
of your frogs? My singing frog. The singing frog?
So three and four, Pharaoh, one and two, singing
frog. Pharaoh! Pharaoh! Shit! Seven, six, so
13. So that's all of my cards? So it's time for
rain And his armor class is 23 for now still
until the end of his turn until the end of his
turn, yeah So rain is gonna be a little bit more
strategic here She is going to heal up a bit
because she is at 70 or 82 So she is going to
cure wounds, which is 1d8 plus 6 I'm too good
of a sport. You are cuz I got an 8. I got max
damage 8 plus 6 is 13 So I'm up to 95 so that
was an action and then i would like to i want
to drink i just want to i just want to take this
time to heal up i'm going to drink that potion
okay the 2d4 plus two already four hit points
yeah i mean you know I'm up to 99. That was a
pretty deep healing turn overall, you know. So
I just wanted to heal and I have 20 feet of movement.
I would like to move this way as far as I can.
Like this? Yeah. That ends my turn. Okie dokie.
I'm going to return Charlie Bigbottom to the
fold. Then I'm going to graduate my Frog Avenger,
doubling his attack. That's fun. I'd like to
move my Froggy Avenger forward. And then I will
use my singing frog to daze the pharaoh yet again.
Should have tried to destroy the singing frog.
It was just out of range. Then I will... Let's
see here. Not that. Then I will... It's a tough
call. Just because I feel like we're winding
towards the end of this cranberry bog, I'm playing
this. Yay! The bog! We're bogging it up. I mean,
you can keep the trees. There are trees on the
picture. While this incantation remains on the
field, double the movement speed of all frogs
and frog creature cards. have the speed of all
non -frog non -flying creatures and once per
turn if a frog creature i control would be destroyed
by battle i may negate the attack so that's fun
so yeah the arena floods and you see that there's
like floating patches of cranberries and other
green drift would love this like it and um i
feel like the fire is less effective in the watery
parts Yeah, that makes sense. It's magical fire,
though. Could be skimming on the top. Yeah. So,
yeah, now your frogs are really fast. Super fast.
And I'm going to fire my arrows at the pharaoh
once again. Arrows at the pharaoh. Arrow, pharaoh.
Vara, arrow. Why am I not throwing any of my
trap cards, David? 21. What the? My AC is 23.
Until the end of your turn, right? Mm -hmm, because
I activated shield right at the end of Zavari's
turn, or right during Zavari's turn. Oh! Mm -hmm,
yeah. And you don't have guidance? No. You have
bardo, right? You haven't used your bardo? I
used it a long time ago. I used it like right
after you gave it to me. Damn. You still have
bardo? I mean, it was a good roll, it's not your
fault. It's mine. Unfortunate. You're 23 yep
a brief reprieve Man if I had known that I wouldn't
have like I didn't realize it I would have cast
a spell or something Shoot Where's that one spell
It's a full action of course it is okay You know
what? If that is the case, then I will just attempt
to attack again. We'll see how it goes. Yeah,
you might hit. You guys were rolling too high
for me to use the shield for like half the battle.
No, I absolutely did not hit. But that being
the case. That happens. I will... It's one reason
I didn't hit or try to hit. I was just like,
I'm gonna just heal up. I will, um, Raine, do
you think I should drop Hunter's Mark? Um, that
gives me the extra 1d6 damage to boost your AC.
No, you want to keep holding it together? See
how it goes? Yeah, because I mean, I just healed
up and I could switch to Moonglide, which would
make me 21. Alright, well. So, and I have a Scroll
of Haste, which I have been holding on. My god!
Yeah, I'm just gonna I guess all I accomplish
this turn besides the cranberry bog is My singing
fog continues to daze you It is the Pharaoh's
turn This is a friendly battle right a friendly
challenge yes added to my deck You know, I said
you would get a you would get a reward you in
my deck I think more fuck them on if you're like
We'll talk about it after oh Okay, if you win,
we'll talk about it after not lose on plate talk
about it Well, no because you'll be a card in
my deck. Oh Okay It's just a friendly once I
keep talking you'll be a notch in my belt, you
know, I could have given you mummy rot It still
can. I mean, I don't like to. You could go to
the doctor for that. All they do is give you
a cream. It's only temporary relief. So he is
going to start his turn by activating his incantation,
Lavish Avarice, which is a Gross looking version
of creepy pottery with a Hitler mustache. This
is a real you you card folks. I don't I don't
know what to tell you So this allows me to take
five cards from my cemetery and shuffle them
into my deck and then draw two cards But everyone
else also gets to draw cards from our regular
deck. Yeah It's kind of a You know you get punished
for your greed because motherfuckers I'm so excited!
Oh god! Grieve! I am also very excited. Heart
of the cards, dude. I've been studying these
cards. Let's go. Okay, what have I got? I swear
to God, if you got that one fucking, whatchamacallit
card again, I'm gonna be furious. Creepy. I did
put it back in there, but I didn't get it. I
will set a trap card face down, and I summon
Sinister Sorcerer. Not so fast. No! You activate
my trap card. tactical gambit. You may activate
the card when your opponent summons a creature
card. Your opponent then selects one random card
from your hand and you must reveal it. If the
revealed card is a creature card you may special
summon it to the field and destroy one creature
card on your opponent's side of the field. If
the revealed card is not a creature card, you
must discard it. So what do I do? I show you.
So you don't have to show me your hand. Just
spread out your hand. I'll pick a card. So I'm
still summoning him for now. We'll see. Surprise.
There's nothing but creature cards. Oh, it was
a gambit. Intensify Gravity, I played it earlier.
I got it again. At least I didn't get rid of
my cardio and gotten a chance to play, but oh
my god, I thought it was because I thought it
was fucked there. So that's it, yeah. Okay, and
then I discard it? Yeah, that's the gambit. It's
like, you know, I get, you know, I get a really
big effect of like, you know, like a monster
or a bust. I tried y 'all. Thanks the gods. That
was about to be really bad for me. You were real
close. I should have shuffled him. It's okay,
next time. Now... You're prying. Now I will equip
my sinister sorcerer with sinister spell book.
This gives it 500 attack and defense. So sinister
sorcerers Sorry, I forgot to actually put it
down sinister sorcerers attack is now 3 ,000
his defense is 26 and He is going to attack your
singing frog Please Sorry Attack attack your
singing frog sinister sorcery attack Once per
turn, if a frog creature you control would be
destroyed by battle, you may negate the attack.
So, no, you don't. I need to get you a shirt
now that's a good try. Oh my god. You know what,
that's fine because my Sinister Sorcerer has
a second attack! Oh no. Now attack Singing Frog!
No. Oh my god. Oh my god. Yes. Oh my god. Paternal
instinct. All frog creature cards controlled
by you cannot be destroyed by battle or artifact
until the end of my next turn. Um, okay. Well,
more Mr. Nice. I need this animated. Oh my god.
We're like ten rounds. Oh my god. Let's check
your face down guard. What do you do? Holy shit.
Oh god. Okay. So now I'll do my one thing as
the Pharaoh. Attack Ray. Die. Oh my god. Shit.
That's all you have about as much as we do. How
much HP does Infernal Priestess have? What is
this? It's 1200 on there and then Plus the scrap
plus 400 16. Yeah plus two scraps I'm going to
attempt to umbra blast your priestess To see
if I can destroy her. It's a spell attack. I
do hit I gotta do 16 damage 13. Okay, go taste.
You don't have to eat that, babe. Taste doesn't
have to eat that. Damn. I forgot that. You're
doing great, sweetie. Crap. I end my turn. Yes,
you did. Okay. Okay. That is hilarious Okay For
my shit, I'm gonna play The Bone Devil okay,
and so you know someone 1d4 tokens I summon one,
but that's okay. It's still good. It's still
something. I can't reach it. I want to put it
on the other side of Zavari. I'll just move Zavari.
It's good enough. And then... Oh man. Now I want
to use this trap card and necessary sacrifice
Sacrifice one infernal creature that you control
and destroy two cards on the field Set up apply
to your cards They're on the field. It does.
Yep. So, you know what? I'm trying to do The
little The baby token devil that just summoned
the one of I'm gonna take that off the field
So you conduct an infernal sacrifice? Yeah. The
spirit of the creature is like pulled out of
it and that like essence is launched at the Pharaoh's
cards. So you're destroying the Sinister Sorcerer?
Mm -hmm. And what else? Was that just it can
it destroys two cards. I thought that was two
cards. Well, sorry This is a quick to it. So
when the sinister sorcerer is destroyed, this
is destroyed I thought that that counted as the
two it does not so there's I Have a face down.
Oh Whatever your face down is it literally okay.
I'll have to activate it in reaction um it's
a trap card it's called dust devil and it destroys
one incantation or trap card on the field and
i will choose to destroy um graduation you can
destroy an incantation i just imagine you destroyed
the vitamin c song okay so yeah i mean just he
wiped my field yet again I was like, maybe I
should give him an ability where he can summon
more monsters in one turn. I was like, no, that'd
be too strong. I'm gonna put this face down.
No to the other DMs, lie. And then it's time
for Zavari to start Blast. Oh my god. 29 on the
first attack on the Pharaoh. Yeah 18 on the second
attack Because he doesn't have his AC boost anymore
Ouch My knee uh -huh his knee brace broke That's
brutal actually 20 Yeah Oh my gosh, let's fucking
go. It's cause he's hexed, it's shit. That hex
girl, that hex. It really does add up. It's at
116. Oh my God, my next play. Oh fuck. Is that
Zavari's turn? Yes, that is everything I can
do. So everybody draw a card. Oh boy, do you
have any cards on the field? Me? Yeah. No. Unfortunately,
I do not. The time has come. I look around, no
scare. Will I even see another turn? I might
not. I don't have anything to defend myself.
Except my AC. Shit. Well, I am... First going
to attack you with this Mimic Tree. The Mimic
Field is gone. It still has some attack points
though, and it can still attack when in defense
mode. It's 600, so 1d6. Yeah. 2. And you stop
using that. Stud. I'm glad you're not rolling
through your freaking Mimic Trees. Thank you.
Thank you, Dart. Don't think we did. Oh, no.
Oh, no. Makara is going to move you 15 feet towards
the Pungy Sticks fire. I hate it over there.
It's terrible. When is this ally is that us too.
So I am going to summon the power of the Guba.
The Guba Guba has entered the chat and one of
the things about the unlikely friend Guba Guba.
is once per turn the controller of this card
may discard one card and select one creature
card from any allies cemetery that card is returned
to its owner's hand meaning if i sacrifice a
card i can get rain back yeah that's true damn
a gooba gooba you summon a little troglodyte
and um He's got a long blue tongue and a scrap
around his wrist. And he goes, Gooba! But, you
know, silently. I am going to sacrifice the star
athlete to bring back the better athlete. The
MVP. The MVP is back in my hand. So that is my
card play. Now let's punch some shit. Oh my god,
um, please my face Rain is going to um Woof and
shove oh You do have half movement because of
the cranberry log But that's so then she's gonna
shift into moon glide and then shove nevermind.
Yeah, okay fine So she becomes lighter and is
able to skim like the cranberry bog somehow is
able to bounce like skip like a rock from the
water. Yeah. And then and then she's going to
just shove back. OK, make an opposing athletic
check. There you rolled. Uh, 22. What? I got
a 19. Damn. Back to the pit you go! Cast him
into the fire! Failed both of the deck saves.
God. Not the shit again. He falls into the pungy
pit and into the flames. God. Flaming sleepers.
Oh, it smells like horrible because all the shit's
been cooking. It's because you've been in it.
Oh my God. Why are you so mean? Can I hear something?
Oh, sorry. Let's just shift my perspective. I'm
sorry. I'm sorry. Rain isn't her mean girl era
right now. Oh my gosh, this is difficult, guys.
Okay. 25. Below 100. Oh my god. Can't count me
out yet. So that was... That would be a mistake.
Rain can't get close. Oh, sorry, one thing I
forgot. When Sinister Spellbook is destroyed,
Egg Jane 20 hit points. Damn it. Back to 100.
Was it destroyed? It was. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
Just checking. Egg explicitly says it. Yeah.
So, I... Damn, I could have killed you next turn.
Oh, God. I'm still gonna try real hard. I wanna
get one more turn. Come on, guys. You and your
handful of - I've had no hand almost the entire
game. Yeah, that's cuz I kept getting greedy
pottery and I wish I would have hit, like punched
and then shoved, but it's okay I'm just trying
to think of what to do Can I shove and then do
a magical action? Probably not. I'm asking too
much. No, it would be like, yeah But if you have
like something to throw you can throw something
at him Like if you have like a dart or a rock
a beam Don't you can throw the oh no cuz it'll
land in the water That is okay that ends my turn
which is perfectly fine Once per turn Dude the
Makkada card is fucking dope and he is going
to be so happy. I can't wait for him to see it
Yeah, I thought it was a cool card, too It is
darts turn Okey -dokey So probably have one good
turn left in me The first thing I'll do on my
turn is drop the oath sworn Frog King. Yes! Do
it! Oh no. Wait a minute, you're over there.
I'll put you over here. That's not very easy.
In front of me? Okay. The next thing I'm gonna
do... If memory serves... Wait a minute, wait
a minute. Okay. So... When this card is summoned
all allies may make one attack or cast one spell
with a casting time of one action Wait, can you
say that again? When this card is summoned all
allies may make one attack or cast one spell
with a casting time of one action To me, it's
like, you know, the king is here and he like
commands his forces to attack, you know In addition
if you or an ally controls at least one other
ham crusader card All allies may take one additional
attack per turn. Oh, I'm about to eat your ass
up. You're not going to get another turn. So
you two can both make an attack right now. Or
cast a spell. Or cast a spell. So I can cast
two. Can I cast two spells? A spell of a casting
time of one action. Cause I also have a ham crusader.
Or make an attack. Or make an attack. No, this
is an effect blast. It's just one attack or one
spell. And then on your turn, you can attack
twice and soak in your ham crusader card. Okay.
You can attack an extra time and your ham crusader
card can attack an extra time. I cast dissonant
whispers. Oh, fuck. Oh no, it's just you guys
may make an additional attack, not your cards.
So please make a wisdom saving throw of 14 because
it is a bard shit. 18. Okay. So you take half
damage of 3d6 psychic damage. Oh God. Oh shit,
I still might not make it out of there. 10 psychic
damage. I rolled 22 to hit. What are you attacking
with? Um, eldritch glass. I'm sorry. Oh, no,
you're okay. Yeah. Now that hits. And, um, I
rolled 17. Okay, and you rolled for both bolts.
Oh, shit. I didn't do my second. Um, 22. Um,
17 and? 8. 25? Oh, god. Okay. I just want one
more turn. Oh man, and then if I get one more
turn, then that means we end up, if rain gets
another turn, then we end up with all three harem
crusaders on the field. How far away is the pharaoh
from the dart right now? Or from my, like, these
guys? Um, let me see here. 45. Okay, so their
movement speed is double but they're 15 so they
can move 30. Yeah, right But my Avenger can but
he's gonna be in the fire just FYI so with the
gooba goobas you have to be 10 feet away Does
he fit here or can he go there? Yeah Well then
yeah, then you can be out of the fire branch.
Okay, I just want to make sure that you stay
safe, froggy boys. Yeah, you'll want to stay
like 10 feet away from them. Um, okay, so...
Shit. Dart's range is 30 feet. The Oathsworn
Frog King's range is 30 feet. So, yeah. He'll
attack. And so will the Frog Avenger, who has
a scrap. So that's 2 ,000 from there. and 800
from there okay so you'll roll 2d8 here and then
1d8 there or sorry 2d10 and then 1d8 and then
all that damage on the pharaoh um so 2d10 and
1d8 yeah the frog does 2d your frog king does
2d10 your avenger does 1d8 okay and do you have
any frogs in your graveyard because your avenger
gets no i don't attack for frogs in your grave
oh yeah Man that umber went a little, ended up
working against me. I needed it thought I didn't
have any cards. So that's 16 damage in total
from them. Then I'm gonna play my frog symphony.
So you're dazed again. Oh god damn it! And it
deals 1d6 damage to each opponent for every frog
creature on the field. Oh my god. So that's 1,
2, 3, so 3d6. So yeah, Symphony of Frogs. Oh
my god. I'm dazed again. Oh my god, that was
so Neurals. 12, 12 more damage. Wow. If only
I was able to play two creature cards on one
turn because my froggy assassin would have enjoyed
that fight as well. Oh man! Put me in coach!
And now it's Dart's turn. Or like Dart Dart's
turn. So question, does this mean that I get
to take an extra attack? Yes. You get to take
an extra attack. Sweet. And the same thing for
everyone. And it's like one, if it's like one
attack. It's the two attacks per action. Yeah.
Attack, so. That's a full attack. So I get four
arrows and if I spend my Warpriest, that's five
arrows. So you could easily do 55 damage if you.
All right. Arrow number one. Just assume he's
going to use his reaction to increase his AC
to 23. He has one more left, I'm gonna use it
now. That 20. Fuck doesn't matter! Let's fuck
you down! Fuck you! I should've just said anything!
I called it upon me! Alright, let's see here,
so that's... Shit. And it's like, you know, I
do have a play, but it's not, I can't, I don't
know, I can't come back from this. I'm rea -
Oh, cut that out. That was a daddy's reference.
Make too many of those. Too many. Sorry, daddies.
We do love you so much, though. We do. You guys
are just so funny. Especially Beth. Beth, you'll
never not been funny. Always. Always hilarious.
Fuck them haters. That would be 38 damage. Holy
shit. I've got four more arrows. Don't get that
again. I don't know if Rain's gonna make it on
the field, guys. It might not need to be, but
you still had a good place that up, you know?
GG. Well, he still has to beat a 23 AC. Dirty
20. Okay, so nope. Okay. Thank God for my Swords
of Rebellion. My Light Swords. I'm gonna use
my guided strike for the next one. Wasn't it
the end of his last one? What? Wasn't it the
end? No, I used my last. I had three of them.
I used my last reaction. So yeah, he did it again.
33. Yeah, that hits. Okay. What is he at now?
So how much damage is your last one? 38. Yeah,
that's right. 38. So that's... 17. Yeah. No!
I drew the card I needed or I will draw the card
I need. 21. Nope. No. No, that's how much damage.
I rolled a 33. Rip. Bye. How would you like to
do this? Well, you are down in the punchy stick
pit, where you belong, and I am just firing arrows
down into the punchy stick pit. Where it's on
fire? I'm not even looking at it. It's a throwback
to him being behind the fire. Oh my god! The
frogs have returned! My frog symphony is singing
in the background. Can you just like, okay, so
like in Men in Tights that one time he rolls
down the, um, like he has like a whole bunch
of arrows like wrapped together and he shoots
like ten of them together or whatever, like can
that - I'll at least do like the triple arrow
because I fired three arrows. Yeah, I like that.
Like the three arrows at the same time. Like
Legolas with the - But here's the thing though,
I don't even look at him, I look away. The no
-look shot? The no -look destruction. That is
it, the duel is over, you guys have won. The
field returns back to normal. The pharaoh disengages,
everything. My next card was useless. So, just
by the way, my turn I was going to summon another
Sinister Sorcerer. I have 100 Blades, which will
also destroy a monster. And then I have Sorcerer's
Circle I could use to get another Sorcerer from
my graveyard. But even better, my next turn I
would have gotten my Mirror Barrier, which is
the Mirror Force card. And it destroys all attack
position monsters that my opponents control.
This was the one fucking card that I needed.
And I tried to set myself up for it, but then
you stole my Greedy Pottery! I wish that I've
been able to get this frog just a car out because
you basically pay 10 hit points and it just negates
your cards. That's what I wanted so bad. I was
prepared to do all of my cards to do overexertion
to like make sure everyone had double the hit
points. The attack. Double the attack points.
The next car I would have drawn would have been
my battlefield. Show it to me, please. I can't
believe I held on to the cranberry bog and the
frog symphony since the beginning of the game
and then used them to finish it. Finish him.
And then before he dies, it just glitches to
all of the different terrains. And so we see
yours. Yeah. I also had Asmodeus in my hand.
I was going to play it. I was going to open it
and move it over instead of putting it on the...
I'm so glad that I got to use my Pungy Sticks
both inside and outside of the pyramid. Oh my
god. To great effect. GG. GG. Congratulations.
That was so awesome. You have successfully defeated
the Pharaoh. So yes, good game. That was very
impressive. You guys... It's rare that someone
Beats my ass so hard the first time that they
play per Congratulations, you have passed the
pharaoh's trial. You are the first ones to succeed
in a thousand years What do we win? the factory
Charlie for your Oh What's the tattoo if you
wish it to? What does it do if we don't wish
it to? um stays on you um it's just a tattoo
nothing it's just cute well can i can we talk
yeah absolutely give me a moment sorry sorry
dude so as a reward i will grant each of you
one wish that's within my power i cannot affect
things outside of this pyramid in addition i
am presenting you with millennium pyramid Much
like the one I have so you I didn't make a card
for this I meant to you so the Millennium Pyramid
is a necklace that you wear you attune yourself
to it and One you and one other creature both
attune yourselves to it I think no actions are
you attune yourself to it you choose one other
creature they can rest inside of the Millennium
Pyramid, and as an action you can switch with
the other person, if that makes sense. And while
you're resting inside, you can take a short rest
if you're in there for long enough. You may forego
one of your wishes to release Talryn the Valiant.
He is the orc that got left in here. Or you can
give up your, uh... Millennium Pyramid to free
him from his prison of being in the Pharaoh's
deck. In addition, when you guys take a long
rest, you level up. Make sure to follow our socials,
like, subscribe, do all the things. And yeah,
please stay safe friends. Could I wish for a
like permanent physical alteration? Yes, you
can. And depending on like what you want. You
know what I mean? We'd have to kind of discuss
like as long as it's not something like crazy
over power. I want to be a frog the size of a
house. Oh, my God. That'll be the rest of the
campaign, just hanging out with a giant frog.