last time on the Empire Initiative. Finally escaping
the Black Forest, the Crusaders found themselves
in a small town where they sought rest at the
local inn. While Dart relaxed downstairs, he
finally met with the personal bodyguard he had
discreetly hired through the clock, a yuan -ti
known as Shadow Viper. Meanwhile, Zavari received
more news from home and Reign snuck Lord Zaris
into her room for an overdue rendezvous. Afterwards,
Rain and Dot received invitations to the famed
Umbermoor Sapphire Jubilee, which prompted several
bombshell revelations from Zavari. She's now
divorced, Zaris is under a mysterious spell,
and the truth about what she must do for Asmodeus
in order to return to Umbermoor. As problems
at home grow increasingly dire, our heroes roll
forth determined to confront the orcs and rescue
the frog folk. This is episode 9. Welcome to
the Great Wode. I assume you guys engaged in
your normal morning activities before preparing
for the journey. Does anybody like change their
outfit, baby? You are. I don't know why I'm asking,
just in case. I don't fucking know I did. I love
little outfits. So Zivari, are you wearing your
Explorers outfit? Oh, you're expecting me to
describe it. Yeah. Okay. You know that style
of shirt where like, the arms are just... but
like they're still like a higher neckline. She
has something like that because she's a lady
so she has to still try to cover something since
her arms are out. And I imagine like some shorts
and in a skirt probably that like opens up. That's
why there's shorts underneath so she could be
so adventuring. And she's wearing some boots
and like knee -high boots that aren't heels.
Wow! They're actually adventuring boots but they're
like really nice. Oh, really nice. Nice. And
her armor just transforms into whatever she wants
it to be so she didn't have to buy any of this,
she just told it to change. You're just remembering
like a cute outfit you had for like a hiking
trip. Oh yeah, and she has a high pony. Gotta
have the high pony. Yeah, I feel like rain is
ready for a new fit and I do feel like that like
somehow Zara's got her the fit Yeah, like either
it was like I hate these clothes. They're ruined.
Yeah Yeah, these are ruined like I think we're
going into an even worse forest and I am just
really in this like weird strappy thing this
like That's like stained blood probably. Yeah.
He put the outfit in an envelope and like addressed
it to you in his diplomats pouch. And you're
like, how did that work? And he's like, if you're
rich enough, anything works. Damn. So yeah, and
it's actually like three outfits to choose from.
Oh yeah, because you got to make sure you can
mix and match. So I feel like she is going like
sleek wild warm berries. Okay. Like, also with
the, I feel like, ascot. She, like, included.
She puts it on, but she doesn't know how she
feels about it. Are we at accidentally? No, she's
not wearing a skirt. I feel like she is still
wearing pants, but they're, like, baggy pants
that are, like, cinched at the ankles. Yeah.
Still keep the bugs out. Yeah. Um, cuz Zarrus
is like, I feel like he's very concerned about
safety. It's like, come on, please be safe. It's
cute but functional. Like, clothing, no sleeves,
they know, they already know. If you see Zavari,
she does have muscle mass now. Oh snap. Think
like Korra, muscle mass, like they really do.
Mmhmm. Damn. But um... I feel like Reign will
have to roll for getting this out. And when Jabari
comes down, she sees the new fit. Yeah. But I
do feel like he gets her some arm covers, like
Korra, just to protect her forearms from the
brush. Because she probably has cuts and nicks
on her arms from the sticks and stuff. And so
it's very thoughtful, I'm assuming. Continue
on for Zaris if you want, but that's just like
what I assume Zaris. Yeah, is your boyfriend
not mine? Awesome. Dirt? Do you have a new fit?
Hell yeah. That's fucking fire. That's dope.
Can you describe it for the people at home? I
don't know how, like, I'm definitely wearing
the rabbit skin. cloak and hood that Rain made
for me. That has your scraps on it? Yeah, that
has my scraps on it. But I would describe...
I'm wearing pants, which is a rare usual change
of pace. I would describe them as... I feel like
the word I want to use is pantaloons. The kind
where they get like... Big, a round of the knee.
Proper trousers. Yeah. Yeah. Knee room for hobbin'.
They're Renaissance -era pants. Nice. However,
I don't wear gloves or shoes. I like to keep
my sticky pads free. And fully accessible to
peel those toe crusties. Indeed. I really like
to feel the ground on my feet. Um, Drift looks
at the camera and says, uh, what? I just got
here. I don't get a new outfit. He can't answer
the new outfit. I'm not gonna lie, I did strongly
consider this. Mostly because I really like the
hat. Yeah, it is a good hat. A lily pad hat.
And Shadow Viper's new outfit is... Oh, the trigger.
Yeah, it's like, yeah, his... disguise for the
moment. He's a door. Yeah, you just hear like
a rustle behind you and you turn and there's
just a mushroom you swear wasn't there. Why is
this mushroom so big? Why is it like human sized?
What is that for? Grish? Doctor? Wait, that's
a weird place. A little weird mushroom. Man,
I like mushrooms. Come look at this one. I look
at it. What is it? I look at his back. She like,
just flicks it. You've got any little slits open
up on the mushroom and it's just reptilized and
they blink and close. Oh Jesus Christ. There's
a whole point of me having a like stealthy in
the background bodyguard is that like no one
knows he's there. You guys like... Seem wildly
intent on exposing it. They're all constant change.
We're testing. Yeah, and you're not gonna get
assassinated out here. You're fine. You don't
know that. Someone tried to assassinate you.
I'd be impressed. Someone tried to assassinate
you on the road. Shadow Viper appears behind
you. I assure you. I don't know that. I assure
you. Don't get assassinated. That is trying a
higher purpose here. I haven't succeeded. Well,
I know that they succeeded, but he probably knows
that things tried. Oh, yeah, that key detail.
Yeah, Ray's the only one who knows they succeeded.
That's rough. Sucks for you guys. I know. That's
just a must for Safari. Yeah. Um... Regardless,
the Ham Crusaders are ready to enter the Great
Wode, the Viridian Wode, and they are searching
for ancient ruins that are being occupied by
orcs. See any orc tracks yet? So, um, so the...
The sky is cloudless today, and the heat is brutally
hammering down upon you. You stand in awe of
the massive, sprawling jungle the great woad
lies before you. The vast woad appears to stretch
beyond the horizon, seemingly endless, the edge
of the world. Let's go, sisters. The rain just
takes out a piece of paper and kisses it and
puts a heart and, like, sends it. The woad is...
dense and teeming with life as you guys begin
to travel through it. Your nostrils fill with
a litany of scents coalescing into a vibrant,
pungent, earthy bouquet of flora and fauna. Smells
like everything here. I hate the outdoors. The
jungle floor is dense and diverse with thorny
bushes, creeping vines, thriving mushrooms, anomalous
flowers, and exotic insects. I like it here.
I'm sorry for my skin. Are the insects better
here since they're exotic? That's a good question.
I better eat some. Try some. I'm curious. I'm
scared. Teaming with life, the woad roars around
you in a chorus of bird calls, insectoid chirps,
angry howls, and the squeak and crackle of every
living being, plant and animal, growing and surviving.
The woad thrums with a pulse of magic you can
feel in your bones and fluid -filled canals.
The pulse both calls to you and warns you away.
It is now that you are in the world itself that
you realize this place is truly a source of ancient
primal magic. I feel like, yeah, Samaria just
reminded me of flux is probably reacting to this
environment as well. Oh, I can imagine, yeah.
and i feel like what flux is feeling is like
a confusion because it's similar to home but
it's not home yeah it would be similar yeah absolutely
okay i feel like he since he's confused he's
just like at my hip like he is like yeah i mean
he really is at my hip since he has my abilities
aid at the moment but like he is squeezing tight
oh yeah absolutely that makes sense I'm like,
shh, it's okay. It's okay. It's not home. I know
it's weird. It's okay. It's her flux noises.
We'll get some pancakes after this. Have you
eaten? That's the sound of a sticky tongue. It's
like a fay out here. Yeah, so that's the thing.
Within minutes, bugs are swarming you. Right?
Like, this is... intensely densely populated
and with an insane variety of different types
of bugs and stuff. Obviously, you know, you guys
are delicious, delicious mammals. So as soon
as you like, as soon as you're like fully in
the boat, it's just like bugs buzzing around
you and stuff. And it's humid. It's like the
the jungle like isn't it's not as like dark as
the black forest is the trees in the black forest
create like a solid canopy the jungle like still
like lets a decent amount of light through and
because of that like combined with you know the
humidity it's like it's just like it's like a
little like oven and you are sweating profusely
within minutes Darth is probably having a great
time But yeah, so yeah you immediately have to
start swatting away bugs and like you feel something
crawl in your arm. Thank you Dart. Delicious.
Can you maybe brew one of your teas and have
this hot one there? It's like a... Oh, bug trap.
Bug trap. Yeah, it is. It is bug trap tea. Like,
um, that's what I got a fancy saddle on Charlie
Bigbottom for, so that I can ride and brew tea
at the same time. Do you have Charlie Bigbottom
with you? Do I? Are we traveling with Max? I
know you guys, you guys dropped off your horses
at the stable last night. That's right, because
I tipped extra so that they would take care of
Charlie Bigbottom. Yeah. Only eats rotten meat.
Yeah, only eats rotten meat. If he was here,
I would give him bugs. He's missing out. He'd
love this. Yeah, he would. Uh, dark. Mm -hmm.
I knew you would eat some bugs. Roll a D100.
I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. I
knew it. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. I knew
it. Two barriers. That's pretty nice. Actually.
Thirty -four. Thirty -four? Um, all the bugs
you ate were delicious and awesome. Okay. Your
instincts knew which bugs to eat and which ones
not. Um, but yeah. Yeah. Dart survived another
day. We're gonna kill him. We don't know. That's
true. You guys don't know, but any moment could
be helpful. I know better than to eat things
with stingers. hairy caterpillars, and what do
you call those things? The centipedes. Those
are no good. I mean, he's a frog. They're troublesome.
This is his thing. So. Indeed. But yeah, and
you guys, you know, you're walking through, you
see like plants that you've never seen before.
Tiny, glowing. I was about to say you're going
to take some from taste, like some clippings.
Yeah, I am. You see these tiny... Glowing like
purple flowers. They're almost kind of like violets
how they like grow in the underbrush, but they
have like a Like they're very they kind of look
like lips like they're shaped like lips and they
like blink. Oh Very slowly. I'm gonna pick one.
I'm gonna pick a few. Okay How do you pick them
up do you like Clip them, be like, pull them
out of the ground. Um, I'll clip them. You'll
clip them? Okay. Um, so you grab them and you
clip them and they immediately, like, die. Like,
they stop blinking, they just sort of like, they
don't completely wilt, but they just sort of
like, go limp. Hold back. That's the next one
I have the camera on. Okay. Um, let's grab them
on the way back. That's what on the way back
will look like. That's true. So, Yang can get
out of the ground and make like a, what would
botany be? Nature? Survival or nature? This looks
pretty good. Okay, I'll do nature. I got eight.
You got an eight? You damaged the root structure
too much. throws a flower on the ground like
stomps off fucking dumbass flowers with like
fucking hate nature God there should be AC everywhere
Drift is like you should probably just take some
of the soil with it and put it in a little pot
if you want to take it I don't have a little
pot but thank you for your suggestion like a
bag of leather or anything can I investigate
one of these plants? sure Yeah, check it out
without Attending to remove it 24 Yeah, you are
familiar with these flowers Your people probably
call them Like winking violets blinky blossoms
blinky blossoms. Yes. Perfect. Your people call
them blinky blossoms and They, um, they do what,
like, what the name says on the tin. If you collect
enough of them and you know how to make a potion
out of them, it's, they function kind of like
the Blink spell. The Blink spell's written in.
Liberty! Yeah, and you definitely have to, like,
know how, you know, to do it, but it's kind of
like an ancient art, but, you know. Tastes good.
You know, you have a couple, you know a couple
of wizards that might know. I was a hunter, a
gatherer. Yeah, not really. It's not really your
thing, but you still done stuff about it, you
know. Indeed. It's part of your culture, I guess.
I don't know why I said I guess. Why did I weaken
that sentence? I believe in you. Thanks. Part
of your culture. And so... and now that you guys
are kind of like in here you were told that the
ruins are somewhere on the west side not super
deep in but like not necessarily near the entrance
um they don't really know for sure you were given
a pretty wide area to kind of like search um
and none of you have like been here before obviously
um Can I climb into the upper foliage to see
if I can see anything from above? Yes, absolutely,
you can. So, real quick, I'll just explain how
finding the ruins is gonna work. Okay. So, if
you guys remember how Zavari navigated the Star
Chamber, it's kind of like a series of checks.
with like encounters on it throughout. It's sort
of like that sort of thing. So in order to find
the ruins you're looking for, you're going to
have to successfully navigate the Great Wode.
You do this by selecting a navigator on each
day. This character will make a navigation check
for the day. You reach the ruins after a certain
number of successes. and you'll kind of like
there should be like clues when you're getting
closer and you may use the following skills to
navigate but can't use any skill two days in
a row. Survival, investigation, insight, or perception
but also I'm willing to consider any other skill
as long as you like have a good reason as to
why it would be helping you navigate including
like abilities and stuff like that. And then
the party members who are not navigating can
attempt to make the navigator's job easier by
using their skills, spells, abilities, and resources.
Each player can try one thing to assist per day.
Successes will lower the DC for the navigator.
If the navigator does really well, they might
even gain time and get to roll another check
the same day. And if the navigator fails, party
doesn't make any progress that day. there will
be an extra encounter roll. And if the Navigator
fails by five or more, the party is lost and
there will be a lost encounter, which is a separate
encounter. And other than that, there's one encounter
roll per day. Not all of them are, you know,
combat. So, that being said... Who's your navigator
for the first day? I think that's probably me.
Excellent, Dark. So you climb up to the top of
the tree and you're looking from a vantage point.
Word. Go ahead. I was just going to ask, does
my being a natural explorer or being in my favorite
terrain benefit me in this situation? Yes, you
get your favorite terrain benefits. because I
think it's, you know, you get, you get like,
if you use like, if you use like any of the skills
that you get benefits from from favorite terrain
to navigate, then like you would get, it's advantage
or a bonus or something like that. So yeah, all
like everything applies. This is just like kind
of a way to structure the exploration. So as
you're looking out, which skill do you like want
to use? to navigate. Survival? Survival. Cool.
Yeah, so roll a survival effect and then it's
your favorite terrain, so is it advantage? Or
is it like double your proficiency or something?
Same like that. Yeah. So if I'm using a skill
that I'm proficient in, in my favorite terrain,
then I double my proficiency about this. Hot
damn. Which would make my survival check maybe
plus 12. I can't say no. Wow. So all he's like
climbing up there trying to get a vantage point.
What are you two doing? Complaining. Don't worry.
Hopefully that's what Samari's doing. And I'm
just trying to kill as many bugs around her.
As I'm climbing up the tree, I look back down
at them and I'm like, yes sir. Say, well I'm
going. Working on it. Thank you Ray. I fucking
hate the outdoors. How can anybody just feel
out of this? Oh my god. I feel myself getting
a sunburn already. Mind you, she doesn't sunburn.
Nat 20. Nat 20. Okay. So I can't stop. That's
a 32. Yeah. Well, that's definitely going to
save you some time. So let me think here, Dart.
You're looking out over the, uh, over the top
of the forest and you see it's far way in the
distance you see the very tip of a tower it's
like barely visible from where you are um the
the elevation changes like throughout the world
so like And so it's like on the other side of
like a hill, but you see just ever so slightly
the tip of it's poking out like among tree tops.
And you can see that, this is gonna be really
good for you guys. You can see that a river runs
in that direction. Now you guys aren't near the
river currently, but you can see that there's
a river that like you could follow to kind of
help you get in that. get in that direction.
Um, I mean, Dart, this is your fucking bread
and butter. This is like, you know, so like for
you, like, I feel like that would, you know,
you would, you would definitely like latch onto
that and notice the river. Um, and you'd see
the very tip of a tower and you were told that
they built a tower at the ruins. So, and other
than that, you have not seen, you don't see the
tops of like any buildings. You don't see any
like, sign of like civilization, you don't see
roads, you don't see like any major clearings.
It's extremely dense. And also while you're up
there, the make a perception check. 1717. You
hear it. at the very last moment, which would
have been too late. Next to you was a snake that
was completely camouflaged in the trees and it
was lunging at you. fangs bared um and you hear
it like you hear it in mid -strike like right
as it's about to strike you and you turn and
you see it and that is when a crossbow bolt nails
it right in the head and pins it to the tree
and then you just hear You just earned a bonus!
Hell yeah. Just kidding. I told myself I wouldn't
do the snakey thing too much. The side but Orochimaru.
Because my passive perception wouldn't help me
out that much. Yeah, it's super camouflage. It's
like the same thing. But I remain alert to danger,
whatever that means. You have froggy sense? You're
good? Does that frog poison himself? Actually,
yeah. You really alert to danger, so you check
it out and it turns out that that snake isn't
that poisonous. So I don't blame you for another
one of those things. I have antitoxin. Yeah.
I don't know. I mean, I just thought it was a
cool scene. It was a very cool scene. Confidence,
it was good. Yeah. But yeah, so that's what you
see while you're up there. You're down here.
Getting bugs. I'm also using it as practice to
try and get as many bugs in one go, if I can.
Using my new dexterity skills. Impressive. Savari's
watching me and she's like... I want to see my
notice for doing it. Okay. 16. Oh yeah. So...
You definitely notice her trying to mimic your
hand movements. And so I go and I'm like, can
I teach you? Sure. And I'm not very good at like
hitting things physically though. I mean, that's
okay. You can work on it. That's what practice
is for, right? And so I like show her how to
hold her hand, like her fists. And she starts
holding her fist like, like this. And I was trying
with the thumb tucked in. Yeah. She's like, this
is how you form a fist, right? I was trying to
avoid this but Mary's like no no no no and she
grabs her hand and like puts her hand in the
right spot and then she'll hold her other hand
up and she's just like I don't know like punch
my hand and like oh my god that sounded so light
and baby I almost didn't think it was cool running
sorry can you do the thing but not too loud Show
me flying. Show me power. Show me a class mother
who can take no crap from the fly. There you
go. Nightmare! Again! That's a decent punch.
It makes good sense. It's solid. Oh yeah. The
first time Zobari's ever thrown a solid punch
in her life. It's like hell yeah! It goes up
for like the highest of five. Go and fill these
up and let's go. Oh, fine. Like, oops. Oh, sorry,
Dad. Excellent. Excellent, says Drift. Drift,
do you want to go next? No. Okay. Are you hungry?
I could give you a good berry. Ooh, we'll save
for later. I don't want to fill up. My staff
makes berries. Oh, that's cool. Does it make
strawberries too? Yes. What about small raspberries?
No. Good. Can you make it with strawberries now?
He like turns his staff and there's already two
strawberries on it. Just... Just one won't hurt.
Ugh, I'm gonna have to get some strawberries.
Hold on. Let me get him pulled up here. Because
it has an effect. Oh! Wait, is it a good berry?
Strawberries give plus ten to speed for one hour.
Oh, okay. As far as walking. Yeah, it's gonna
be so exciting. Yeah, so, um, yeah. It's like,
oh yeah, I guess I should tell you guys about
my staff. It's the staff of Summer Harvest. It
grows one D6 berries per day. The berries have
various effects. That's cool. Red raspberry and
gives 1d4 temporary HP. Blueberries give resistance
to disease for 24 hours. Strawberries give plus
10 to speed for an hour. Blackberries give resistance
to necrotic damage for one hour. Dragonberries
give dragonborn breath puppet for one hour. Good
berries. Good berries. And then there's a brown
spiky leechy that makes you grow thorns for one
hour. It does 1d4 damage when an opponent makes
contact with you. And then there are some very
varied berries that come out every once in a
while. Can they be these nerds gummy clusters?
Yeah. because it's very very flavor absolutely
yeah that's what i was waiting for i was like
um can we make this a thing yeah nerds gummy
cluster a very very nerds gummy cluster throws
on it and that has a special effect please no
fun yes oh my god please so do you eat the two
strawberries or just one uh she's just gonna
have one because she doesn't want to have tummy
and she's in the middle of the jungle oh yeah
because she doesn't eat She only eats meat, right?
She can eat other things, but they upset her
stomach real bad. He has five berries left, because
it grows up to six berries and he doesn't always
use them. Yeah, that's really fast now. Yeah,
you're actually like, keeping up. Let's do this.
Navigator, roll for an encounter. Am I the navigator?
What should I roll? It's still the same thing.
What do I roll? Oh, D12. As you guys are traveling
in the world, you're constantly being assaulted
with sounds coming from all over you. All around
you. Yes, exactly. Dart. You hear shallow panting
nearby. Like, um, a hurried breath. You're welcome
for the sound effects. It's free. Let's do it.
Um, you're gonna be our Foley artist. That would
be a lot of fun. Oh, man. I hear shallow panting.
Mm -hmm. Uh, I'm gonna say that's a precautionary
bless from me. Okay. What does the blessing of
Sylvanas feel like? Green. It's like weed. Yes.
It smells like a weed. It smells like weed. Oh
my god, yeah. It's Sylvanas. I'm done. I'm done.
I feel like it would make you guys feel more
at home in this environment. Well, it's good
because it's like, it smells like weed. If it
makes you feel welcomed. Okay, so yeah, everybody's
blessed. How much is that? Um, add 1d4 to attack
rolls and saving throws. Did you tell them that
you heard the panting? No. He just blessed. Oh
yeah, Dar just dropped a spell on you guys. And
you're like, hey, does that even matter? We're
like, shh, dangerous near. There's something
following us. Dripster's doing the satellite
ears. What the fuck are you doing? Um, you guys...
keep going forward. I am going to climb into
the trees and kind of watch over you. Rain shifts
in the mongoli. Okay. Uh, Dr. Mickey, self -check.
Oh, I didn't use my inspiration. Oh, so you get
to double your proficiency. Oh, do I? Yeah, you're
proficient in self, right? I am. I was proficient
in perception as well. I did not get that there
either. Yep. Um, yeah. Well, if I'm doing it
that way, then maybe that won't be my inspiration,
because that would be 14. 14. To the two crew.
So Dar, as you climb up in the tree, you immediately
have enough of a vantage point that you can see
what you heard. Just sort of like a couple of
meters to the left of where you guys were just
then. You see a pair of displacer beasts, both
of them wounded, one critically so. That one
is the one that is panting heavily. The wounded
one is just laying on the jungle floor looking
like it's clinging to life and the other one
is standing over it protectively. Can I, like,
approach cautiously? It's gonna sound weird,
and I'm gonna be like... It's okay, Katie. Okay.
Um, animal handling? Mm -hmm. That's what I'm
going for. Yeah. I'm trying to handle these animals.
I'm gonna show them that I'm not going to hurt
them. Like, as soon as you start to approach
the one that is like... So let's say that the
one that is standing over... She's a female displacer
beast. She has sort of like a purplish coat.
It's like a dark purple. And she's standing over
a male displacer beast who has a black coat.
And he is very clearly dying. So yeah, as soon
as you start to approach she... hisses and she
kind of like holds up her tentacles with the
spikes and warning but you're approaching and
you're you know you're being calm um i believe
in you bardo bardo bardo and you're blessed yeah
and did you roll already no animal handling yeah
but she sickles 14 Plus your bless and your uh...
Plus my bless and your borrow. So 1d6 keep borrowing.
Could be guidance too. Oh uh guidance. Who is
with all I have? Speak with animals. Wrong character.
Oh no. 19. 19. Okay yeah so with a 19 he stops
pissing. And her ears, because her ears kind
of went back when she was zizzy. Weird question,
but does my scarf of displacement make them think
that I might have something in common with them?
Um, that's a good question. Let me roll. They
might think I'm a displacer frog. Oh my god.
We're kids. Non -reactive to the scarf of displacement.
Okay. um but she like i said her ears were kind
of back and then you're like it's okay kidding
and she kind of like lowers herself a little
bit like a little bit more like you know like
she's covering up her mate more but she her her
ears kind of let up and they push they kind of
push forward and she seems neutral but somewhat
suspicious of you. She no longer seems like she's
just going to attack. She kind of, like, relaxes
her tentacles. And you can see, like, now that
you're closer to her, you can see that she has,
like, spearheads, like, stuck in her side, like,
where, like, just the tips of the spears, like,
broke off into her. And she has, like, a big
burn on, like, her back leg. and he has similar
wounds. But he's in way worse shape. Yes, but
in way worse shape. There's like a sphere sticking
out of him, and it's like punctured his lung.
Okay, I'm going full veterinarian. Okay. All
of a sudden he has a lab coat. You know, rate's
good at this kind of stuff. I want to put one
hand on the male, and simultaneously, as I'm...
Casting cure wounds with my glowing frog hand.
Golden spear out. Um, I'd say that you can try
that. It's going to be very difficult without
help. Um, oh jeez. You know, if it's medicine,
I'm your girl. If you need any help, Doug, I
mean, I believe in you. If you need help, let
me know. I'll let you know. If you, like, if
you approach and, like, kind of, like... with
the intention, the full intention of helping,
she will like, she feels like she has no choice
but to like, try to trust you because there's
nothing else that could be done at this point.
And so she will step away and kind of like back
up and still kind of stay near and watching very
closely. But then she kind of like leans forward
and sniffs her mate who's like, and his eyes
are starting to lose focus and um she just kind
of looks at you expectantly you kind of get this
idea that she's asking you for help yeah okay
mind you if you get it wrong it's not gonna be
pretty let me help you why are you hesitant of
me helping you I just thought, I was thinking
that maybe I could try curing it first and then
getting help pulling the spears out, but I don't
know if it's worth doing that or we should just,
because I don't want to like call someone over
and scare it. That's the only reason I'm hesitating.
Which is also definitely a possibility. Yeah,
that's a valid hesitation for sure. I would like
to Attempt the cure wounds, but not the spirit
pulling first to see if I can like show the female
that I'm like Helping. Okay. Yeah Go ahead. So
in which case you just cast cure wounds. You
don't need to roll for that But I guess to show
intent you can say roll persuasion with advantage.
You're being truthful about your intentions.
So 24. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, so she's in, she sees
when you cast the spell, she kind of sees like
some of his wounds closing up the ones that don't
like currently have, you know, spearheads sticking
in them. I want to make sure she's the glowy
hand. So she knows like, I'm doing this. Yeah.
Yeah. Displacer beasts are pretty intelligent.
She definitely understands that you're helping.
And she lays down passively because she now realizes
that she doesn't want to scare you off. Cool.
Cool. Alright. She's like starts purring very
softly. I'm going to pet this displacer beast.
The one that's... Which one? The female. I want
her to know that my friend. Me friend. So she,
you know, with your persuasion, with your animal
handling, she will let you pet her. She... is
sort of neutral towards it like she lets you
do it but she's also like still very concerned
about her mate and not really like trying to
you know be a fe - like she keeps like she keeps
like sniffing him again and kind of looking at
you in gesture and with her head kind of like
you know I would rather you make sure that he's
okay Okay, then like give me attention right
now. She seems very attentive to her mate very
concerned. It's you know Strangely humanoid of
them Okay, I want to make weirdly deep eye contact
with the displacer beast and then I'm gonna wave
Just you over you stay there Trips like I'm the
other cleric. I'm Ren. Sure. He looks at you
and is like, guess we're chopped liver. Just
one... You know, I had to hear his accent for
a second. Person at a time. I don't know. Ren
comes out? That was Ren. As you approach, give
us an animal handling check. With advantage,
we deserve to set you up for success. And you
are blessed. You're blessed. um 21 without the
bless oh yeah okay so yeah they they are she
is like okay with you approaching and she kind
of like looks at you and acknowledges you um
consciously acknowledge her like i've i've been
around this place there's this place to be some
uh force of mimicry so i know like yes yeah i
respect them yeah and she can sense that respect
about what you mean Help me remove this spear.
I want to figure out what is the most grievous
thing and try to fix that. I have an idea but
it would scare her so I can't do it. I can't
use grace because it would scare her. So you
want me to pull slowly? Yeah and I'm gonna like...
I'm going to try and keep it calm and keep my
like, I'm going to be right there with you. I'm
going to help. But I need you to like remove
the spear. Raine, make a medicine check before
you pull the spear. 22. 22. So Raine, you take
a closer look at the wound and You can see how
deep the spearhead is in this displacer bee's
chest. It's clearly puncturing one of the lungs.
You believe, you're pretty sure, that it's gone
all the way through one of the lungs. So the
better thing to do would be to push it through
the other side so that the spearhead itself doesn't
tear up the lung more. It's going to be very,
very painful. But you think that it would increase
his chances of survival. But it's a risk either
way. First thing we need to do is we need to
get his health up a little bit. Did you roll
for the heal? No. Sorry, yeah. Have you roll
for the heal? We need to make sure he's stabilized
for us to do this. He was dying at zero, basically.
So whatever dart rolls is what we have. I feel
like she would also take one of the healing things.
can we say that the healing was like herbal based
that i got like the 1d4 healing um the powder
yeah it was powder yes yes so she sprinkles so
what like i feel like she would sprinkle the
can she sprinkle the powder around the wound
to like try to seep in that way so or like cover
the cover the pole in the powder, the healing
powder, so when they pull through, it's 1d4,
it's not that much, but it's still enough that
it might assist it going through. Does that make
sense? Does it have to be adjusted? Yeah, I mean,
amucous membrane, right? I healed it from 9.
9? Thanks. So go ahead and roll the... Well,
actually, go ahead and do like a medicine check
to see if you can, you know, enhance the absorption
of this. Can I help with that? I've got medicine.
Sure. Yeah, with help you can like talk about
it. I got an 11 without bless, but that's, that's
attacker saving first. So that's not this. Um,
with, with darts help you would get advantage.
Uh, 22. Um, dart just so happens to know where
the like, uh, the soft palate part is and helps
you, you know, aim it, I guess. And so it's going
to do the 1D4 plus 1D4, double the effectiveness.
Double the fun, double the income. Not sponsored.
Five, five. So 14. Might be kind of meta -gamey,
but is 14 enough to make sure it doesn't die?
when it gets, when it takes spear damage. Yeah,
spears on your D6. You also have to be strong
enough to do it though, you know? Because we
should throw it. She is like watching very intensely,
very tense. Can I give heroism to the... Sure!
Okay, it also gives it temporary hit points.
Yeah, alright, hello. You're a temporary hit
point. It'll be brave through the endeavor. You
should. I think your spell is correct. Drift
is like, what, now you're reading letters and
I have nothing to do. Sorry. Okay. Let me, um...
I guess I'll look for some... Why don't you,
like, savage? Yeah. Yeah. Plus six to three.
And they cannot be frightened. So yeah, that
hopefully calms her down a bit obviously she's
still worried but she like Now at this point
she has she trusts you too. No, I'm gonna give
it to him. Oh Yes, absolutely. Sorry Just to
like make sure and he's gonna have to be brave
to to let us true. That's very true. Yeah, so
you feel um he you've returned a lot of vitality
to him he's breathing his breathing is a lot
stronger um it's a lot more controlled um his
eyes uh like begin to focus and you so both of
you like see he like looks you directly in your
eyes and he's got these big yellow cat eyes that
um are making intense direct contact they have
like a almost otherworldly intelligence to them.
Displacer Beasts are fey creatures. We both are
the fey, like I'm fey touched and you're... You
feel a connection, you know, a primeval connection
and you feel the creature's trust. Like he kind
of just... His body relaxes. He understands that
you have to do something and that he needs to
trust you. All this, I feel like, is going to
greatly increase your chances of success with
this method. The accuracy in which that we push
it through is so important that we're not, like,
we need to have mistakes still. Hence my deep
eye contact. You focused on me. and not on the
thing that's about to happen. Whenever you're
ready, I can... He's doing his best to focus
on you and to not get distracted. Rain, are you
ready? There's something deeply calming about
my bulbousy frog eyes. Can we give... Can...
Do they like good fairies? Can we just give him
some good fairies? I don't know, I'll give him
one of us. He's scavenging. Okay. So, yeah, I
am... I am the ready to stab this displacer beast.
Okay, through. Good luck. How would you like
me to do this? We're gonna say medicine, considering
all of your preparations. We will say that you
get, we'll say you get advantage. 18 plus nine,
so 27. So you grab like the end. of the sphere
and you have to keep your you have to keep your
hands incredibly steady because any movement
of the sphere at all hurts right and then me
just thinking about is making my legs some way
to spasm and so the more flux is having to like
hold my set like horse study and the let my leg
like spasm Yeah, exactly the more I think about
it the more my legs are jumping feel like shift
your weight and you And you know you have like
you just need to do this in one clean push because
that's gonna hurt the least Mm -hmm. It's like
a full body piercing Breathe And as soon as she
starts pushing the creature like his eyes like
go wide and he looks at you and he's like eye
contact intense eyes right and like this loud
feline screech echoes through the jungle um but
when you zoom back in the spear is cleaned through
he's bleeding he's gonna need immediate attention
but It's the best possible outcome for removing
that thing. You've got it right between the ribs
so you didn't even break a rib. Sucks, but also
you didn't even break a rib. That's better, you
know? It's true, because that just sucks. Healing
the tissue between the ribs is easier. Oh, can
I, using my frog -like knowledge... Frog what?
Make, like, um... It's like the thing i've seen
in like movies and shit where they put like mud
and grass on it to like patch up the spot Yeah,
absolutely um survival i'm gonna give them a
natural one. There's like clover or extra medicine.
Yeah This is a survival because it's like it's
like battlefield medicine sort of i don't know
19 Yeah, so you take a quick look around and
you like immediately see a plant that you recognize
like a sort of a fleshy succulent type plant
that grows under like big plants that provide
shade and you can peel the flesh. And there's
like a plasma inside that's you know fighting
against infection and is good for healing and
then you find like the best leaves and Slap some
natural animal barrel on there. Yeah, exactly
and you pack it with With you know, it's probably
like some good fungi that you could like break
up and stuff using dirt. Yeah Yeah, so you yeah,
you are able to effectively keep him from hurting
more. I forgot to have you roll a d6 for the
damage. That's fine. So yeah, I mean, he's at
15 health. He's not like happy, but he's okay.
And he's actually strong enough to get up and
walk. Like right after you're done. And I like
taking all like doing some pets, taking all the
like spearheads out. Nice. Now you're making
sure that they're cleaned. Um, and as soon as
he stands up, the other displays are just like
rushes in and starts like rubbing up against
you guys and like giving you like licks with
and it's like she has like this big, it's just
like a house cat. Like this big rough tongue.
You know? I'm handling off her and like, the
arrow pens and stuff. Yeah, and she's just, you
know, and she like, she like flops to her side
and kind of like rolls over. That's danger. And
danger, danger's tummy. And shows her tummy and
she has, you know, they're just place to be so
she has six legs. There's a lot of claws to reach
past to pet that tummy. I get right in there.
and she happily accepts tummy rubs, um, dart,
make an festigation check, or a perception check.
I'm still doubling my proficiency, miss. Uh,
25. 25. So the 25, you rub her tummy and you
can feel that her, the skin on her stomach is
like kind of loose, like it's like looser than
you would expect, and that, um, And that, you
know, her... Oh my god. Mammary glands. I was
just gonna say, is she pregnant? Is this her
pregnancy? Um, no. You can tell that she has
had kittens recently. Ugh! They're parents! I'm
in full vet mode! I'm loving it! Yes, she has
had kittens recently. And, um... Yeah, and she
is, you know, she is so happy. She is ecstatic.
She is going to, um... If you are agreeable,
she will try to lead you with her mate back to
their den. Yep, I'm going. This is a Sylvanas
moment, if ever there was one. That's what Sylvanas
would want. Yes, you feel, you feel Sylvanas
being like, fuck yeah, I don't love you. A dragonfly
of your favorite variety whizzes around your
head. It's like Spyro Yeah, Sylvanas throws you
a snack and then Yeah, so like it's not that
far. It's like it's like a little ways. There's
some like underbrush. There's like a Basically,
there's like a hot they like a dog a den under
like some roots. So there's like a structure
above Yeah, basically and And she will take you
and there's like a a bed of like soft moss and
lichen and in the bed is four displacer kittens
and they're kind of like rolling around and like
wrestling and meowing and they're all like either
black or purple or blue They are, right? They're
like, they're pretty young, like, they are definitely
like, not old enough to be without their mom,
if that makes sense. And you can tell that some
of them don't even really like have control of
their like tentacles. They're just kind of like,
and then sometimes they get like stuck to stuff.
And they're like, the tails get stuck together.
And yes, she is introducing you to her kittens
as a thanks. for saving her mate's life. And
he will, he's like a lot, like once he stands
up, by the way, he's like huge compared to her.
Like you don't really notice when he's like collapsing,
dying on the floor, but he's like super tall,
you know? And he stands up and he just looks
at you proudly and like gives you like a very
like, you know, a nod. And he stands at like
the entrance of the den, like, you know, protecting
it while you meet his children. I have seven
pounds of lion's mane mushrooms in my pack. Oh!
They're kind of meaty. I think you have some
fish too, right? I probably have. I don't think
you wrote it down, but I think you have some
fish. I don't know if they eat the mushrooms.
Maybe. I don't know. I just want to give them
a snack. Baby snacks. And some jerky they happily
eat. And you can tell some of them like... uh
they don't have like got any teeth yet so this
may even be like their first like solid meal
and she trusts you so she's letting you you know
feed them their first solid meal i was gonna
say yeah i could you know chew it up and let
them eat it out of my mouth she let you people
circle she trusts you she trusts you oh my god
It's gonna be like that scene from that like
Looney Tunes cartoon from back in the day where
all three of the like little birdies are sticking
their heads up out of the nest and the mom comes
and like vomits a little bit in each one's mouth.
Yep, perfect. But it's dirt. Yeah. Dirt. So we
need the animation. No we don't. There was a
Reddit post on the D &D subreddit where a guy
was doing... like quick drawings of whatever
stories people wanted to post, and I definitely
wish I could be like, I as a frog folk ranger,
vomited chewed up fish into the mouths of tiny
displacer bees. Yeah, that's the truth. You did.
You did. It's canon. And they happily ate your
vomit for months, you know? So what do you happily
eat your vomit? Just slucky? There's only one
person that I ever disagreed or knew what it
tastes like. And that's Benbelton. This is a
true delight. Finally, as a parting gift, the
father of the family will gift you with one of
his shed claws. I'm gonna put that in my trophy
list. It seems to have like he kind of sees your
other like he looks at you and he sees your other
trophies that are displayed and he's kind of
like, okay, I get it. You know, I want to I want
to contribute a trinket to to your honor. You
know, this blazer. Yeah, this blazer feast. That's
fairly large. It's like, it's probably like,
you know, large display series. Yeah. yeah it's
probably like uh you know six inches um that's
one sixth of darts body like height i think i'm
18 inches tall never mind i think one six one
six oh yeah so that would be six times six is
we 36 which is three feet tall um It makes me
think of an episode where a guy keeps getting
his teeth knocked out and the robot comes back
and he's like, what are you making a necklace?
And then the next time it comes around, it's
wearing a necklace in his teeth. It's just like,
oh, jeez. So, but yeah, once you, you know, return
to the crew and tell them about your journey.
In case you couldn't tell by my breath. I got
to throw up chewed up fish into the mouths of
baby kitties. Adorable. Drift is like, I'm so
jealous. Well, I did find something that you
guys might appreciate though. I'll show you tonight.
But yeah, so that concludes the day. Dart with
his supreme navigation skills gained you guys
a day. Which is awesome. Now they think of me
as a second mommy. Yes, yes. As you're walking
away, they're like... Just more kids start. Yeah,
oh my god. How many is that? 23? If it's four
kittens, it's 24. Adopt something every session.
Yes. Or at least every couple sessions. You guys,
uh... You know, find a place to set up camp that's
relatively defensible. Oh my god. You're late
on kitten support. You get a letter and just
meow meow mooie. But yeah, so you guys find a
place to, you know, make camp. You tell the stories
about the day. Um, Drift is like, oh, I'll finally
show you what I found. So, um. here we go and
he oh he like he has like a sack like a burlap
sack and he empties it and it's like a ton of
bark and it's like this like breadish um sort
of crackled bark tree bark and he's like he smells
it it smells okay it smells kind of like almost
citrusy almost some cinnamon yeah exactly like
and he um he says well tonight i'm gonna burn
this and then you can use the ash to repel bugs.
Thank you. I give him such the biggest hug ever.
Darts is incredibly gross. Darts is incredibly
grossed out. The reason I said one of my things
that I hate is lemon grass is because frogs are
like repulsed by citrusy based things because
they're used as frog repellents. Yeah. Sorry,
buddy. I don't love it. I don't love the bark.
I'm like, oh man, that's like my least favorite
bark. I can travel in the back when I wear it.
Dr. Chappalee, by the way, gives you like a really
good... They're like, oh squeeze. And he purrs
a little bit. But he is a man. So I cannot kittify
him. He's not, yeah. And he isn't like weird
about it at all. It's like a really friendly
hug. If that makes sense. It's just the... You
know? Yeah, exactly. In order to better acclimate
myself to this environment, I'm just gonna like
give myself a good old fashioned mud bath. I
don't really get it up all in my crevices. Lovely.
Gonna be some excellent crusty picking when we're
done here. Gotta build up a base. Do you have
anti -nose? Uh, any anti -nausea stuff? Oh, just
anti -toxin, I'm sorry. Uh, the lesbians probably
did have some. Actually, I have, uh, ginger.
I have ginger candy as well. I'll make a pot
of tea now. You can drop a ginger candy in the
tea and that'll make it even more anti -nausea.
What are the teas that you got? So you know the
lavender lovers. What were the other four teas?
The Saffo Slurp. Oh my god. That was me. Was
it taste? That wasn't like heaven. Oh. Damn.
I set myself up for this. i remember the apple
cider one yeah there was no none of what i said
uh i remember that but i don't remember the other
ones or if we came up with other um there's green
tea because she likes green teas yeah those all
herbal and green teas yeah so you get some tea
and tea and tea because it's hot as fuck in this
fucking jungle i'm still gonna make some tea
I have a wand of frostbite so we can make our
own steam. Maybe we can make the water cold from
the canter. Maybe that'll work. Some cold brew
tea. There we go. That's a good idea. Refreshing.
I do have burning hands as well. Yes. It's been
boiled. Yes. Oh shit. Yeah, Drift, come here.
Meanwhile, I'm just making mud angels. You're
also finding some of the most delicious bugs
that you've ever come across. It's like spaghetti.
Roll a G100 for me. No, that was heinous. Got
me one this next week. 42. Ah, yes. uh what do
you do so you um you ate some poisonous beetles
and because you are a frog these poisonous beetles
um you can digest them process them and you become
poisonous for the next day well all right then
like so you if anytime you choose that like to
secrete your like a defense of secretions they
will be poisonous You blow your defense horn
and they will be all shoot out. They will deal
1d6 poison damage. You can like apply it to your
Weapons, you can touch people with it Stuff like
that. Can you turn into my favorite dinosaur
that I can't think of the name? The lapisaurus
or whatever Just imagining like opening up my
Kermit the Frog shaped mouth and just like laying
my arrows on my tongue. Oh my gosh. Absolutely.
The sharp ones. Would it corrode the sharpness
though? That's poison. I was just thinking, you
guys are like, I'm pretty sure those beetles
are poisonous. And I was like, that's just spicy.
That's a spicy beetle. The ham prompt for today
is, is there anything or anyone that your character
truly hates? Feel free to list a few. Um, so
Rain? Besides the obvious things that she hates
like ableism and accessibility I feel sexism
like Defunding parks and all that kind of fun
stuff And of course like her newfound understanding
that she hates corruption and not all royals
She fucking hates salmon she hates it she can
eat other fish specifically like whitefish She
loves halibut, loves tilapia, loves like a good
bluegill, loves all the cool fish, but she can't
stand ever, but specifically salmon. Damn. I
know. Damn. Salmon's delicious. Right? My jaw
was dropped. I cannot. Hey, you know what? That's
your god -given right. It's more salmon for you.
Thank you. For Zavari, she doesn't really truly
hate. A lot of things, like she has a lot of
annoyance, disgust, you know, those general feelings,
but not a lot of true hate. Except for whoever
called the hit out on her. They're gonna get
what's coming to them, they're gonna get it tenfold,
and it's gonna be really nasty. Dark hates mint,
lemongrass, earwigs, too waxy. That's great.
Thank you. And goglers. Swerve! We were all gagged.
I forgot. We don't know where that came from.
We apologize. That cannot reflect the views.
For the podcast. Rain. Rain. As well as... Never
said it before. Rain definitely did that one
time. But she was an acting racist, so it was...
Pam presented everybody. We are the good guys,
right? It's a hard ER. Razalax hates racists.
It was for the funsies. I almost forgot. Orcs.
Shake out. Orcs? Why do you make orcs? What's
the lore? They murdered my whole family and burned
down my village. And they are probably eating
my people. Yeah, could be an over -matching sense.
They are nonsentient. And once you see the frog
problem, you will get it. Razzlax. Oh, Razzlax.
Yes. If I... were ever to say that I truly hate
something. It would be two things. One, needless
destruction. Chaos. It's meaningless. It's messy.
It does no good for this world. And two, whatever
force drives people to harm the innocent. I don't
know what that is. I don't understand it. But
I know. But it must be vanquished. You're real
as fuck for that. Damn, Razalax. Razalax was
good. I'm like, damn, that's so noble. He's too
good. And I'm like, salmon. He's the real deal.
He's the real fucking deal. Yeah, he is. Damn.
We all strive to be a little bit more Razalax.
Okay. I tried to give him the Shield of Anger
and he was like, I'm not worthy. But you're the
worthiest of us all. She's the same wise DMG
to my Frodo Baggins. I will not take it! Hemfacted
down. Um, but yeah, I mean, other than that,
I mean, the evening goes well. Um, you're gonna
pray. I need to pray every day. Drifter's gonna
pray. Rayann's gonna do my stretches and get
messages. Gotta stretch now. Messages, yes, you
wanna do good messages. And then, it is the next
day and it's time to travel again. Who's going
to be the navigator for today? I'll do it. Alright.
And Rayann, what are you gonna do to navigate
today? I am, so are we going down the river?
Is that what the plan is? I think we see the
river because of you. Yes, you guys are... You
were not at the river yet, but what Darth's plan
was was to get closer to the river and then sort
of follow it down, but not necessarily be on
the river side. You know, not until you need
to cross it anyway, because, you know, the river
attracts everything. It's water. It's the source
of life. So, I don't want to do the same thing
as Dart did, but I could fly up and fly ahead
a little bit, but just like up and ahead, not
like too far, but just kind of guiding where
we go. Can you say flying up there? With my feather
tattoos will come off of me and create the vortex
underneath me. I was trying to like... visualize
what that looked like. I was like wings. No,
no, she does not have wings because of it. She
thought about wings. The description is they
create wings on your arms, but we like, for Flux's
sake, it's different. It's like, it's like, so
you know the like, Avatar wind tunnel thing that
like. That card action. Yeah, it's like that,
but black feathers. Yeah, that's creating the.
On the card you're touching. I feel like she's
gonna fly up and then she's gonna use her perception
just to like make sure they're getting to the
River fine and to see if there's anything that
she can see to prepare for a fight because there's
like for like what to avoid or is there a way
that we can go around certain areas like that
kind of stuff like alternate routes if it's too
rowdy okay um and does anybody want to like do
anything to try to aid and reigns navigation
uh not sure what i can do um go ahead and roll
to navigate then it would be your perception
13? Guidance? Daru can fly and give her guidance.
Right, because you have to be a certain distance.
I feel like touch you. But we have said before
that Daru can do touch spells. I don't know if
that's still a standard spell. I could fly back
to you. If you have Daru fly up and look with
her, that would be for advantage. Well then yeah,
I'll do that. Uh, dirty 20. Dirty 20? okay yeah
so it is a good thing that you flew up there
um you realize that while you guys were mostly
going in the direction of the river um you were
about to come across an area that is dense with
uh like hornet hives like you see that there's
like there was like a cluster of them and you
almost walked straight into them so um and then
you're kind of trying to figure out an alternate
route and that's when like Daru flies up from
one of the trees and like points out yeah and
points something out to you that kind of like
helps you guys you know find a way that's like
actually navigatable from around but still towards
the river without losing track yeah It makes
it rain as new to flying like this. Whole newish.
Within the last month. That's super new. Or even
like within like last few weeks. D &D time is
weird. Zavari. I need you to roll a straight
D20. Can you roll a straight D20? No. Not 20.
Okay. Fuck you! Okay. So you guys are... walking
and you know you're following Reign's lead, Reign
you know you only fly for like a minute or something
like that so you are now down back on the ground
but you have but you have plotted the course
and you are leading it and as you are doing that
you come to like a somewhat of a clearing where
there's a kind of like an open space in the sky
above you and Today, there's actually a little
bit of cloud cover. You didn't even really notice
before with the canopy just directly overhead
you. But today, some nice fluffy clouds. And
as you're looking up at the clouds, you see a
purple ring form in the sky. It looks maybe,
it's pretty high up. It's pretty high up. From
the purple ring, it kind of opens up and there's
just like blackness inside of it. And then, and
from this purple ring, a treasure chest falls
out of it. And this is like 200 feet in the air.
And at this point, as it's falling, this is when
like Dart and Zavari see it. I was still looking
through Dart's eyes, I imagine. Okay, yeah, and
you see through Daria's eyes you see this and
It's just it's kind of like it's probably about
like 50 feet in front of you where it's going
to fall and it's And it hits the jungle for And
just breaks apart and burst open just shit starts
just goes flying everywhere There are clearly
stuff inside of it and then you hear somebody
call from the sky And then the ring closes up.
Oopsie. What the fuck? Dibs. Can I do an arcana
check on what the fuck that was? Uh, yeah, you
can do an arcana check. Oh, no. I rolled a T.
Together it was seven. You had a 19. Um, I mean,
it... Kind of reminded you of like a dimension
door type portal is what it looked like Can I
examine some of the shit that came from it? Oh,
yeah, so you go you go up and you see like so
one of the things that you see is a Sword like
a steel like a nicely made steel sword and then
next to the sword you see a letter. Oh Pick up
the letter. Oh, oh, this is ours you guys. This
is our door dash. God damn it. They need to work
on their delivery service. Jesus Christ. Um,
the letter is written in like multiple different
handwriting. Yeah, literally on the document.
So sorry. Ladies of Aria Umbermoor, thank you
for ordering from the transient triant. Let's
package it to you, okay? Let us know. but we're
still working out the cakes. We were jaded for
defense, but we did our best to put together
something useful for ya. Contents of package,
five fire tiles. All you gotta do is load this
up with some magic, set it, and it'll do the
rest. Warning, creates fire. 1200 GP. Three instant
houses. These are on backorder and will be a
while before we get more. The guy that makes
these died. Died is scratched out. He's retired!
Gosh, sorry. That me has no decorum. So, you
should be nicer to yourself. Aren't you leaving?
800 GP. Two horns of silent alarm. So that your
guards can alert each other without alerting
the enemy. 750 GP. Two... animated swords just
say the word and these things will leak out of
their scabbards to defend you cut stuff up real
good 600 gp one animated armor and you and now
that you you you read that you see that there's
like pieces of like steel arm like plate armor
all over the place that's gonna have to be assembled
um This little guy has a great sentinel, but
don't forget to show your real guards how to
turn it off. 1200GP. Scrolls. Heal. 2000GP. Disintegrate.
2000GP. Three. Glyph of Warding. 750GP. These
are for castle defense. So a Glyph of Warding
is like an area you place like a trap down on
and it does a bunch of damage. Revivify. 250GP.
Leonin's Tiny Hut. 250 GP and Haste 250 GP. How
much money did you just spend yet? 11 ,000 and
a little bit more than that. But it went on the
Umbermoor account, so it's fine. Yeah, I was
just going to say the very bottom says delivery
fee 500 GP total 11 ,550 GP on the Umbermoor
account. Thank you and please order again soon.
Sumac toll. Dang. And now all your shits all
over the place. God, can I use mending on this
fucking armor just to make all the pieces come
back together? Sure. Okay, I don't want to pick
that up. And now you've got this like full suit
of armor that you have to deal with. Yeah, it's
the best. Follow us. And we all have a battlefront.
And Ray just snaps and she's like, follow us.
Um, so you, uh, you have to, so the way the suit
of armor works is that you, you aren't like attuned
to it, but it's like attuned to you, its owner.
You, it takes like a full eight hours to do that.
You have to wear it? Oh no. Uh, no. You're like,
oh no. The armor? No. But no. What about like
this? Like you have to... It's like you have
to like load some of your spell energy into it
and stay near it to continually like feed it
some spell energy until it becomes acclimated
to you and then you would set an activation word
and a deactivation word and then you can also
give it very basic commands so like for something
like they like follow me or like don't move until
there's an intruder or you know you can kind
of tell it like what sort of stipulation do you
want it to start fighting in and um but basically
once it like runs out of like bad guys you're
gonna want to shut it off because it's just going
to be in aggressive mode so that's why it was
like you know be careful and make sure you tell
people how to turn it off that makes sense But
yeah, that's what he could come up with for castle
defense since Zavari just said... I said whip
something up for me. That's true. That's what
he came up with. Yeah, tell her not you. And
the fire tiles are, you know, fire tiles. They're
nice and reusable, which I think is cool. They're
traps, basically. So you've got some traps, you've
got some... alarms, you've got some animated
swords. I've got some spell scrolls for us to
use as we need. I got Lehman's Tiny Hut. I don't
know if you know about that. Okay, so self -explanatory
then. I got Disintegrate, which basically somebody
that I cast on needs to make a deck saving throw.
On a failed save, they take 10d6 plus 40 force
damage. So reduces them to zero hit points they
disintegrate. And I also got heal which will
cause the target to regain 70 hit points. Also
ends blindness, deafness, and any diseases affecting
the target. So just some stuff to help us out
as needed. And revivify scrolls, of course. So
smart. We can use the tiny HUD scroll whenever
we feel like it's needed. We all have bags of
- Um... I do. I meant to mention, by the way,
I forgot that Drift... Where is he? Sorry. Oh,
there he is. Drifting... He has Ball of the Sunny
Summer Quartz. She's a circle of dreams, Drift.
So... Um... Oh, not that one, but... Christ.
A hearth of moonlight and shadow during a short
or long rest can invoke a shadow power to create
an invisible 30 -foot radius sphere that provides
total cover in the sphere you're at in the game.
Plus five distilled perception and light is invisible
outside of it. Ends when the rest ends. Okay.
So he also has a form of that. So like Liam in
the tiny hut is like a little bit more defensive.
So if you need like the extra protection, you
can use it there, but then like every other night,
Drift is using his shadow. yeah so we are like
in an especially sketch area in like general
and we need to rest we can prop that up i also
got a scroll of haste yeah i thought that'd be
cool to use on her it'll double your movement
and you get an extra attack if i was a move line
and a plus 2 to your ac it'd be 120 it said imagine
rain going across the battlefield just kidding
folks um That's crazy. Rain, roll for an encounter
for us. Which one is that? That's a D12. Seven.
With a seven, Rain, you hear like a chittering
above you and then out of nowhere a spider monkey
leaps down and hops up onto your shoulder and
starts clawing at like your bag. Holds my bag
tight and it just grabs it by its little scruffy
scruff Like what are you doing? Oh, my dude?
And he's kind of like flailing so my bag doesn't
get scared like a game of them coming at me And
you can hear like little chitters from from the
tree You're like if I distress this little one
too much they might jump down on all of us so
she didn't just like puts it down on her hand
and like tries to set it down but i doubt it'll
let me set it down um so it like chumps off your
hand and it'll run over to zavari and like hop
up on you throw all up you and try try like scratching
at your bag daru will come through like the space
between me and it and just try to try to Just
knock it off. Body block it? Yeah. So as I said,
running up your leg to like go, go for it. And
Dart comes in and like is all puffy and agitated.
And it immediately like the monkeys like crawls
back down and then like runs over to Dart. Tries
to, is going to try to do the same thing, crawl
up you and like eagerly scratch at your bag.
It's not like snatching your bag, it's like scratching
at it. Is it approaching me? Can I sticky tongue
it? Sure. Do you want to try to eat it? Yeah.
Okay. Only briefly. Just briefly. I'm gonna swallow
it. A 19. So you nail it with your with your
sticking out and then in your mouth and then
you you guys hear like a shift in the trees and
you see like a hundred monkey eyes looking down
peering down from the treetops at you. And they
start just jumping down in mass. Trying to like
scratch at you guys and attack you guys, grabbing,
biting at the straps of your like bags. Can I?
Absolutely not. Before they come down, I want
to cast Globe of Invulnerability. I was just
going to spit it back out. I just wanted to let
it know who's boss. I was going to spit it out
all wet and be like, yeah, that's what happens.
They don't know that. They were like, you do.
They are friends. Cool. Yeah, so you would throw
down your globe and your invertebrally as they're
jumping down. And so like, we'll say, okay, I
know it's like typically not like a spell roll.
Let's say, make a spell roll to see if you're
faster than these monkeys. Probably, but got
a plus like fucking 10 to hit or some shit. Yeah,
I mean, I rolled like a 12. Yeah. Wait, so 13.
So you... And then all the monkeys are getting
this fear. I'm looking. I'm giving darts. That's
how it works, right? Yeah. I was just like...
I was spitting it out. And they're all standing
outside the globe and they're... They're grabbing
bits of foliage and throwing it up in the air
all mad. Throwing dirt clods. What do you hope
is dirt clods at you? But just hitting the dome.
Dart is prettier, dude. Again. It was all supposed
to be kind of like one fluid thing. Is he still
on your mouth? Yeah, I was supposed to... The
whole idea was that I would just spit it out
immediately. I just wanted to scare him. He is
scared. You've spat him out. Thank you. It just
splats on the ground. Shakes off everybody gets
covered in some darts bit from it's shaking presentation.
I'd say rain. Oh looks at Drift and was like
can I get some berries? Just like maybe one.
Yeah, sure. Okay, not speed berries. We're not
gonna give speed day to monkeys. We'll try to
get there Here's the here's the healing one here
raspberry and I give the raspberry to the monkey
Happily eats the raspberry. How are the other
monkeys around the globe? Like, after you give
the monkey the raspberry and it takes it and
starts eating it, all the other monkeys stop
throwing the fit and now they're just watching
you guys. Oh. Oof. We're gonna have to work for
all these monkeys. Are they all going to expect
food now? I think so. I want to look at them
and, like, flex my frog neck thing. Um, we're
on the foundation. Yeah. Man. 13? To start with?
Um, seeing your aggressive croaks, the monkeys
are all mad again. They're throwing shit in the
air and just like, I think, I got you, I got
you buddy. And he'll like stand in the middle
of the globe and wild shape into a grizzly bear.
Oh. And just go. That's what the fuck I'm talking
about. And he will roll intimidation. he got
15 rain does the same just like as rain oh you
can do it with uh with your voice oh man yes
i can super loud everybody everybody make themselves
as scary as possible and roll for intimidation
But are you gonna do your spell? Because that
would hurt them. I thought they just have to
do a Christmas save, not otherwise they're just
scared. I thought it did damage. I don't think
it does, but let me double check. So it does
damage. I'm definitely not gonna do that. Yeah,
no, it doesn't do damage. Oh, okay. So then go
ahead. They need to make a Christmas save. They
fail. Okay, I mean I rolled an 18 for my intimidation
plus... What'd you get? for your intimidation.
I re -roll the same thing. 13. I got 19. 19,
18, um, 14. 14. 23 total. 23 total. So yeah,
I would say everybody's like - display combined
freaks the muggies the hell out it's the marvel
like yeah 360 yeah yeah she looks like a dead
lady that's just but that's how more he is you
turn into a horse start with her on the ground
and then make it to rain He turned into a horrifying
visage of death in other not -so -great imagery,
but she's a Teal City dead lady. Funky in the
bubble. The funky is he's trying, he's shitting,
pissing himself, and definitely runs away as
soon as it gets the chance. They all run. And
yeah, so... Down comes the shimmering red glow
surrounding us. And you just like see like if
it was a movie you'd be like panning out the
treetops and all the birds are flying away. Yep.
Absolutely. It's okay, it worked. Everybody combined,
you know, was able to make it happen. Our friendship,
we scared some monkeys. I'm glad you guys didn't
see me like that. You were down there. You were
below. Yeah, I didn't see. You didn't see. But
yeah, that's like the major event for the day.
And other than that, you guys, you know, find
your way to the Ripper. The Ripper. Find your
way to the Ripper. Oh my god. Damn. I just imagined
it's just like when somebody died. Like that's
what it looks like. She's just recreating what
happened. Thank you for that angst. Yeah. You're
right. That is what it looks like. You did it,
Janet. But yeah, so then you guys find the river.
Near the river is like a little bit cooler because
like the river is like constantly circulating
cool air, you know, in a way. So that kind of
feels nice. And there's a mist. How does the
river look? The river... That's a good question.
Make a danger. I should have kept my mouth shut.
Nat 20. The Nat 20. It's the one they use at
the Church of Asmodeus. Do not get in there.
So the river is, I mean, I would say that, like,
I'm trying to think if there's anything, like,
in particular that you notice about it. And the
vibe's off. I did a vibe check on the river.
What you notice about the river is that you've
seen this once before. You remember when you
were young, czars wanted to go swimming in the
river. And he was about to jump in and your grandma
stopped him right at the last second because
the river looked calm, but there was a slight
indication with some of the rocks. You can see
that the water's like splashing around the rocks,
even though the river looks pretty calm. And
that's what she had pointed out. And she was
like, no, no, no, don't swim in there, young
lord. The undercurrent is very powerful. To remind
you of a time when, you know, she basically saved
Rosara from drowning because she was gonna jump
in there. But like, yeah, so you would say like,
okay, doesn't seem like it's safe to say like
cross the river here if you were getting in the
water. Because you would probably likely be swept
by the undercurrent. Can I stick my face in the
water so I can wash the monkey out of my mouth?
Sure. Yeah. Like the top part of the water is
more calm. It's just the way the river runs in
this section. And so you can dip your head in
it and it's not going to pull you down or pull
you in. And the river, it's nice. It's clean.
The water tastes like good. This river runs through
Vassaloria. Big big river. Probably has a name
that I don't know right now. It's a name here.
We'll edit a name in. But yeah, so that's the
river. You wash the muck off your face. The monkey
muck out of your mouth. That monkey did not taste
good by the way. Dirty. Nope. You just bite her.
You gotta show them who's boss. Otherwise they'll
never leave you alone. And, you know, you guys
can make camp again for the night if you were
ready. Any camp activities you guys partake in
in the evening besides messaging your respected
boyfriends. Rain does her best to draw rain in
the outfit that Zaris gave her. It's not, I don't
know how good it is though. Make a... Make a
book. A book of rags. Rags and checks? Yeah.
16 plus 9. Pretty fucking good. Pretty fucking
good. And then kiss it and send it. Hot. Can
I write a letter to Waltore to tell him about
all the things I've put in my mouth while traveling?
Oh my god, yes. What does it say? Just like a
bullet -pointed list? Or does it tell you what
it tastes like? I mean, he's a Bullywug, so I
imagine he also likes insects. So yeah, I'm about
to tell him about all the interesting insects
that I've eaten, and the spicy beetles, and that
I threw up fish into Displacer Beast's kitty
mouths, and then I temporarily swallowed a monkey,
and that I miss him, and that I hope him and
Asperos are staying out of trouble. I'll bring
him back. No, I'm not gonna bring him back. Emoji.
Yeah, that's such a thing. I'm bringing back
a souvenir. I've already got one. I got that
one. Big dispenser grease. Tooth. Claw. Claw.
It's as damn near as big as Walter is. You get
a message back and it is a painting. You and
Baltimore holding hands And the forest with like
trees behind you and a rainbow above And it also
says wow dad when I get older, I'm gonna taste
all kinds of stuff When I'm adventuring just
like you make sure you have a clear Make sure
no one's looking at me and I'm gonna hug it pull
it up and put it in my step Can't wait to see
you, Dad! Daddart! Hesperon says hi! Oh, I can
tell Hesperus that I met a druid. Oh, yeah, he
would like that. Yeah, and he turned into a bear!
He's like, hell yeah, Dad, maybe I can turn into
a bear someday. That'd be cool. Bear down for
midterms. Too soon. You spend the evening messaging
your children. You spend the evening praying.
I also want to send some letters to the church
as well. Just kind of letting them know what
I'm up to. And that I'm safe, spreading the word
as modeus as I should. They don't need to know
how sure or true that is. You gave the pamphlets
to all the monkeys. Every little bit counts.
Just imagine the one as a DJ. I am freaking out.
That's the best song Phil Collins has ever wrote.
Are they Esmo monkeys or Esmonkeys? Esmonkeys.
Esmonkeys. Yes. Absolutely. Trademark. Anna will
write back to you. She will tell you that the
church is doing well. They actually have a few
more people who decided to try being sober. Someone
else has started a drug education class where
they just like teach people. about the dangers
of the drug, not necessarily saying don't do
it, but just like be edgy, you know, and if you're
if you overdose, this is what you should do.
Or, you know, if you see somebody's overdosing,
this is what you should do. And like kind of
just like general party safety tips and stuff.
That class hasn't happened yet, but people are
signing up for it, which is exciting. has been
very like he has been very withdrawn lately he's
not talking to people as much he's kind of you
know giving me the side eye a lot um you know
he's i mean i don't you know i don't want to
be like that girl but like sometimes he's like
i need over here and telling people well you
know Lady Zavari is very wise. Latria. Or sorry,
Lady Latria is very wise, but she doesn't know
everything and kind of just like low -key trying
to downplay like how smart and wonderful and
amazing you are. And I feel like, you know, he
started like kind of hanging out with this like
other dude who's real quiet, but I don't think
there's a problem or anything. Services are going
on as usual. There's still a lot of fucking and
sucking. Yeah, there always is. But we miss you
Lady Litria and we hope that you, you know, find
more followers out there and I'm gonna keep trying
to do your work and I hope you're proud of me.
I knew that Rain and Zavari were similar, but
damn. Like, you're out. You ran away from home,
out looking for followers. I ran away from home,
out looking for followers. I lost my home and
adopted followers. I will tell Anna, I'm very
proud of her. Thank you for keeping things on.
Anna, sorry. Thank you for keeping things alive
while I'm gone. Just keep an eye on Viris. We
know how he is. Oh yeah, I'm keeping an eye on
him. And let everyone know that When I return,
um, there needs to be a church -wide meeting
and a celebration. Yes, I would love a celebration.
I admit, I've been working a lot. A little party
would be fun, but like, you know, so would a
party. Yeah. Maybe we could have, like, cake.
Like, just regular cake. I think so. Just spread
the word for me. Fun -shaped cake. This is not...
for more. It's like cake. Now that gate cake
is an umbermore and asmodeus church. That's common
ground. See, we're finding it. Cultural crossroads.
There's going to be a big celly when I come back.
That's a crossroads of asmodeus. So yeah, so
the next day, who's going to be your avenue now?
Has anybody not navigated so far? I'm gonna get
us lost, y 'all, I'm sorry. Uh, we can't be lost
except by magical means. That means this is a
magical jungle. Yeah, if you fail by five or
more, you guys are lost. Okay. I won't play it,
but I do have a song that's canon that is the
force of mimicry song called Wild Jungle. It
was good. Um, Daru, to the skies! What still
are you going to use? I'll listen to them. Rain
already used perception yesterday, so you can't
use it today. Investigation? Okay, sure. Investigation.
I'll be looking through his eyes. Fifteen. Fifteen.
Um, so... With the 15 and with Daru's help, you
spot what you think is a pretty good path through
the dense trees. You have to find somewhere that's
actually walkable, mainly for Zavari's sake and
Drift's sake. Dart and Rain don't have any issues
with like heavy heavy underbrush. But regardless,
you think you found a good path and you'll lead
everyone down it. I got Landstrike. What? Landstrike.
Oh yeah, that's right. I pass through non -magical
plants like they're nothing. Like they're not
even there. Could eat a speed berry. difficult
to write happy day doesn't slow our part if you're
all six fairies and this is my thing too is where
he's gonna get the zoom means it's probably a
natural explorer Zavari you are leading the party
down the path that you memorize from looking
through Daru's eyes and you walk the path the
the party past a small area that has these large
pink and purple flowers growing. They're very
beautiful and they're kind of like this. As you
guys walk past them, they all exhale like a puff
of spores. Everybody make a wisdom save. 21.
Dirty 20. What'd you get? I got, with all my
bonuses and everything, an 11. Okay. Did you
add the bless? That was a few days ago. Oh, that
was a few days ago. Yeah. I forgot. Yeah. That's
okay, I can thug it out. So yeah, so these flowers
kind of like, they puff, and then they puff at
you. And, uh, rain and dark, you, you know, you
breathe it in, just, you know, because you don't
expect it, right? um and for just a second your
head feels like really woozy and kind of like
almost like noise um but it clears up after a
few seconds once you're breathing fresh air zavari
um you you get this sort of like so it's sort
of like uh Like I said, you feel kind of woozy.
You feel like kind of like a static in your head
And it starts to fade But it's kind of like if
you've ever if you've ever had like a headache
and like your headache is technically gone But
you can still feel it if that makes sense It
doesn't hurt but you still feel that your head
is like not quite right That's how it feels After
a few moments like you feel like for a second
you feel you're gonna get sick like you're gonna
throw up and then it kind of settles back down
And then you guys are gonna keep continuing down
the path. A few minutes later, Zavari, you hear
Zara's voice, like almost whispering in your
ear. Not again. It's like, hey, sis, hey, hey,
you're going the wrong way, sis. You gotta turn
around. What? But... No, no. You're going the
wrong way. I'm telling you, sis. You go down
there, we all die. Where are you? Sis. Sis, please
listen to me. I bet she's like saying this out
loud. Sis, please listen to me. Okay, okay, okay.
She makes like a sharp laugh. I'm like, Safari,
listen to me. You're going down the path to your
doom. Where are you going? Like I'm trying to
match what... My doom? Doom? What? Death. Death?
Doom? Death? What are you talking about? You
take a sharp left and everybody follow? I am
going to grab Zavari and like big frog bulgy
eyes and be like, you're having a bad trip! You
have to turn around. Zavari! Zavari! Did you
try to shake it off? No, you can't shake it off.
You can't shake it off. It's... You hear it.
It's almost like every couple of minutes, as
soon as you think it's stopping, you're done.
They don't care about me like they do. We have
to turn around. We're gonna die. Please, I want
you to die. So, it's our voice crying. You're
tripping balls, man. She breaks into a squirm.
What are you gonna do? I mimic Zara's voice and
be like... Hey, sis! Uh... I thought it would've
been sticky tongue Tripp. Uh, make an attack
roll. Okay. Hi. Tripp is like, shit, I gave her
a raspberry earlier, she's fast! Fudge. You don't
get her. You have to give space. I would like
to use my earworm melody enchantment. Oh, yeah.
And I would like... I have an idea, but it might
not be good. 5, 10, 15. Because it might break
her. I don't know which way it would go. 5, 10,
15, 20. I knew Thurman needs to give an idea.
Yeah. Well, Reign puts on Moonlight. That's what
she needs to do. Do we need to do initiative,
or are we going to need to go? So Mario gets
like 60 feet away, does she dash? Yeah, I'm definitely
moon gliding so that I can catch her. Okay, yeah,
sure. We can do initiative for uh for the chase.
Yeah. I'll just say direct to like catch it like
keeps up with you guys. Um, 32. 12. Okay, so
rain. What is with your characters running away
from me at that chair? Profit. We don't have
treats this time. Shit. Honestly, crumpet is
just like that. Honestly. Okay, so with me first.
So, rain. Yes, keep going. Moon glides. If you
have to hurt someone, that's fine. I'm full.
Moon glides up. because she can go 60 feet she
will she doesn't want to hurt her like that's
not like she wants to try to not hurt her so
i feel like what she would do is use she she
just yelled that's a bonus action i just used
my bonus action fuck i got an idea um you hear
case's voice oh no your other ear zavari whatever
you do don't let them get you don't let them
get you sorry please oh no she is having the
worst trip ever you have to run so she's gonna
use vicious mockery but instead of saying something
bad i feel like because like she wants to go
more like truthful emotional damage versus like
your anger she wants to try to use like and not
not like she wants to tell the truth like spit
it it'll be painful for her because it's true
positive about her you know like that is the
the angle i'm trying to go for but i'm trying
to think like kind of positively about samara
no there but it needs to be like the right thing
like she's gonna yell at her you're more than
a silent princess How does this work? See, this
is against my AC -90. You do a wisdom save. Wisdom
save. Oh, it's not that bad, though. I have to
be at 14. I have 10. Okay, so 1d4 psychic damage.
And you get a disadvantage on your next roll.
Okay. Which is funny because the psychic damage
lets you roll wisdom again because you got hurt.
Oh no, but then she gets disadvantage on it.
She has disadvantage on it. She has a chance
to break out, though. Yeah. It's still a chance
to break out. I enrolled in App 20. Did you get
your inspiration spell? Did you get your inspiration
spell? Oh shit, I do have it. You see what I
told you? She's just trying to hurt me. We're
gay inspirations. She's trying to hurt you, Sephardi.
Please, please. Sephardi, sometimes the truth
hurts. You taught me that. You hear Sars. Don't
listen to her. I thought I could listen to her
too. I was wrong. Holy shit. Holy shit. Zavari,
it's not safe. I don't want you to die. Zavari,
I need you. Then you hear it say, Zavari, I need
you. I need you. I feel like that. So I did my
action, my bonus action. I did my movements.
That's your turn. I believe that's my turn, even
though I was going to just like stop in my tracks
and let her run and say something, then that
was gonna be the end of my turn. Is that the
end of your turn? Yeah, Zavari threw him a few
stops, so. Rain stops in her tracks, and is just
like, you trust you, Zavari, and just like stops.
Oh, God. You shouldn't trust her right now. She's
just got some spores. You're suddenly tackled
by a shrug. Yes. I mean, other than that, I don't
think she wants to hurt anyone. That's not the
directive. The directive is just to run away.
Yeah, they're not trying to... You're not charmed
or anything. It's just like... You know, you
hear these voices, they feel real to you. But
I imagine holding you. As she's running, she's
like, like, grabbing at her hair and like fucking
screaming, get out of my head. But she's like
running away anyway, because this shit is a lot.
I'd say she'll like, is there like a nearby,
of course there's a nearby tree. There's, or
in the jungle. So she'll duck behind like the
nearest like tree and just like hold her head.
when you're holding you don't find the nearest
tree you hold your head just like when you cover
your ears the sound of pace and zaris kind of
get muffled gives you a moment of relief but
then you hear safari safari your mother oh my
god or mother safari don't let them find you
you have to keep running please safari did you
do anything else on your best? SOMEBODY FUCKING
SEDAME ME! um... dart is your journey? is that
right there? please my little girl i don't want
to see this happen to you oh my god i don't want
to see you one last time why does the weird fucking
head shit always happen to zoom in hard? it's
wisdom say plus nine yeah i just don't you have
a girl i need to switch out different dice i
didn't expect this to hit anybody i'm not gonna
lie okay this one will be the one i try how far
ahead of me are they a dash 60 feet and i haven't
moved since let me try to see where you are approximately
oh that's the wrong layer Courtney, yeah, I think
you're like right here. Oh, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, And heels. I don't know, she's
not wearing heels this time. That's why she's
so fucking fast. And I gave her a strawberry.
Sorry, you guys. It's okay. She has really strong
ankles. Think like a broccoli. And you can, you
know, if you dash, you would just get double
your movement until I catch up. And you could
say something, you know, you wanted to try and
try that. But if I dash, that's my action? Yeah.
Although this isn't like really combat. So, you
know. Depending on which of you lose your face.
Yeah punch nice shit out rain. No, I know what
I'm doing I should have trusted my instinct Shana.
You should have. I was literally screaming for
somebody to knock her out. What's call? Zavari.
Zavari. Why aren't you moving? They know where
you are. Zavari. Zavari. Zavari are you coming
home? You hear Zalya's voice. I've gotten really
good at the heart. She's getting ready to house
you, Gandalf. I will run forward with my full
movement. Is this your gun? It's a toy gun. It's
fake. It's fake. It's a prop. I want to cast
charm person on ya. Zavari, that's not me. You
hear Reign's voice. and your head rains voice.
You must run, Zavari. We must always run, Zavari.
Oh my god. Why do I roll? What do I do? I hate
to do it to myself because I know that you have
a plus. Fuck tons. But it is a wisdom saving
throw. 16 plus nine. Christ. You are not charmed
by me. But! But! Beguiling twists. What does
that do means that if you if someone the reverse
if someone? Passes the check for a charm or frightened
condition. I can basically do it. I can bounce
it Break that catcher 18 mother. Oh Wait, no,
that was a 19 plus 9. I thought was a 9. Oh goodness.
Well then It's just lots of sports. You got inspiration
in your re -roll, but you're trying to roll low.
I can give... No, it's not you. Is it? Um, yeah.
Okay. You can feel like, you feel Dart, like...
Because Dart has done this to me before. You
feel that familiar feeling, and you can feel
Dart's intention to help you as well. And you
hear for a moment, Safari! Safari! between all
the chaos. We've got Shanna Reign and Shanna
Dart. What a bountiful harvest. That was my action
and reaction, but I'm going to do something ridiculous.
What I want to do is Misty Step, like above,
for like the above tackle. Okay. Basically do
like the blink and bam! crash right into her
okay so yeah so yeah you missy step and you're
like this green frog mist you rush up into her
and just like appear and just try to grab her
um that would be like a grapple check it'd be
like a an arm strike but i'm willing to say because
you're sticky that uh it's a frog point you could
use a frog point to get advantage here I'll use
- It's this against - No, I need to do it. Um,
you will make a, well, you'll make an opposed
athletics check. Can you grab this in the bag,
buddy? You said athletics? Yeah. Jesus Christ.
Did you roll a nat 20? Did you roll a nat 20?
So you are so fucking flighty and terrified that
you just fucking dash out of there. Oh my god.
Jump, Zavari! That wasn't me! The real me is
right here! And we're gonna make it out of here,
buddy! He's gotta keep running! You hear a grand
noise. Zavari! Zavari! Come on! Hurry! Well,
she's still sitting down. It's not her turn,
but... Um, yeah, Reign. It's your turn. Reign
quietly, just like... doesn't like just sits
on the side of the tree like next to her but
not like next to her to like scare her and it's
just like you deserve to be happy and she uses
her earworm melody enchantment so um i sing a
catchy tune that only one creature hears of your
choice within range that makes a successful wisdom
saving throw uh That was like worded weirdly,
isn't it? Yeah. I just took it straight from
the deep magic book. The verse becomes ingrained
in its head. So you have to make a wisdom saving
bro. Amy, what are you doing? About 14, which
is low. Well, like, come on. What do you think
you're talking about? I'm asking you to loosen
up my corset, babe. Yes! A 3 plus 9! Oh my gosh!
Oh, the 12th. The 12th! That's not who I hear.
You hear Zara's voice. I take damage from this.
Yes, you take 2d4 psychic damage. 2d4, okay.
And it repeats on every turn because it's stuck
in your head. Okay. Also, here's our like, disadvantage
on concentration check, so I feel like this would
give her advantage on the wisdom save to break
out this. In a way, it's kind of like concentration,
right? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Roll a one. Yes! Roll
a two. For... what did you roll? A two for? Dynamite.
no i rolled a seven for damage i thought i was
rolling to break free of the spores uh yeah you
have to roll like a high wisdom thing oh high
wisdom yes to break free from the spores you
get advantage you want to roll low yes yes this
is the time for advantage now you get advantage
and you were trying to roll high 13 plus nine
13 plus nine you finally It's like, so, it's
like focusing on your comfort song, by the Tabaxi
Cat Dolls. Sorry, because buttons would be a
great cat name. Yeah. And, yeah, one of them
is named Buttons. So that's a, it's a double,
it's a double -triple on Chandra. And, um, yeah,
this, like, this grounds you. it like roots you
and it does ours in your head start seeing the
song instead of like you know fear -mongering
you and and so like they like all the other like
chatter sort of calms down they turn into the
tabaxi cat dogs they all harmonize yeah what
yeah you literally you hear your mother I forget
mom used to do opera before she met dad. Wow,
mom had a beautiful opera voice. Rain, do you
realize that she has been broken free from it
so you can drop the spell? If I don't, you don't?
No. Am I just kidding? I do. Drift runs up and
he's like, my friend! And he just gives you a
big ol' hug. So glad you're okay! Thanks. I feel
like shit. He pulls out like a handkerchief and
like starts dabbing away your tears. Is somebody
else late now? So yeah, that's Zavari's day and
you guys did not make progress that day. The
only thing that happens that day otherwise is
that y 'all feel some shifting in your last pouches
to end out this shit. Oh, I'm terrified to open
this. Daddy number one is fine. Oh. Papa. Papa?
Papa. We're right as fucking stressed about the
Jubilee. Anyways. Well, Count Remo is looking
forward to meeting us, Dart. You're not allowed
in Dart 2. Oh, shit. Who'd you get a letter from?
We are also happy to know that our son, Zaurus,
has chosen to seek the company of a valiant and
caring person such as yourselves. This says I
can bring my kids. I need to know about those.
20 kids. Is a kid friendly event? No. They can
stay in their guest chambers. So they're expecting
you guys to stay like all week if not longer.
I think the ball's only one day. Yeah, okay.
Yeah, so you just say the kids can't come to
the ball. That's an adult only event, but there's
a festival the whole week. Right. And they have,
and it's the young room or guest, like, you know,
houses and stuff, or other chambers. So, yeah.
Wow. What are yours? I see you writing down.
There's more secrecy happening. I have a letter
from Tsar. What did I say? Well, context. I sent
them a letter and basically encoded in the letter
I asked them if our father knows what's going
on with them. And to make a long story short,
I got an answer that says, yes, he knows. Mom
has no idea. But then he just put listening at
the end. They're listening. Somebody's listening.
They are monitoring our coverage. Probably not
yours. Somebody's listening. Somebody's listening.
A vine blinks a reptile eye at you. And Shadow
Maverick is like, I swear it's not me. That was
just bad timing. That's what Vine Viper would
say. Hiss. Thank you for listening to Roll Forth.
This has been the Empire Initiative featuring
Samaria Hawkins as Lady Zavari slash Lady Litria,
Ryan Musgrove as King Dart of the Hopkins, Rachel
Voss as Rain Vosgrove, and our wonderful MD,
Shanna Cantu. So it's been a couple episodes
since we've talked about our patreon. It's still
not up yet We really want to make sure it is
worthwhile that you are getting something out
of it If you were supporting us, you know besides
supporting us and making this content that we
are creating And helping us recoup how much it
costs to make a podcast We definitely did not
consider that coming in but we're making do we're
doing it. We're doing the thing but at the same
time we're so happy and so proud to be at episode
9 putting this together and being here with you
thank you so much for supporting us for giving
us those stars you know we love them stars but
ultimately we want to be able to give you a high
quality Patreon experience, as well as feel like
you are getting something from being our supporters.
So we're really building an archive at this point.
We mentioned before of doing... uh longer ham
facts and other patreon exclusive things uh corsets
the full cut of corsets produced not just by
myself but uh some people some great people we
know um that um We'll be making the full cut.
Of course, it's the full song And we are super
pumped about that And that so in the future that'll
be something that is patreon content that you
would have access to So many different things
some other uh campaigns we have moving forward
some patreon exclusive uh dm tips from our amazing
master of dungeons md tips whatever type of tips
well maybe not that but you know whatever we're
gonna we're gonna move on from that um uh but
yeah so we want to make sure that you also can
move on from things and give yourself permission
to move on from things um because sometimes You
outgrow things or move on from it and it is okay
to admit that you have moved on or outgrown something
so we hope that you give yourself space to do
that and stay safe friends. What? I know this
is childish. And I know I really shouldn't be
trying to contact you like this. You're calling
upon me for something. Charles. To you, probably.
But it's very important to mortals. I had a really
rough day. Will you, um, just bless me? Give
me something? Will you make me feel safe tonight?
Do I not give you enough tools to protect yourself?
Not like that. Are you not grateful? I am. I
just, would you just hold me for a minute? I
need to feel the warmth of your arms. Don't call
upon me for this again. And he will hold you
begrudgingly. She definitely just cries at this
point. he doesn't say anything he doesn't like
rub rub your shoulder to comfort you extra or
anything like that he's just like she feels the
love that's all she needed