Last time on the Empire Initiative, Drift leads
the Crusaders to a place he and his former partners
were searching for, a pond that was once home
to a treant, now tainted by the presence of an
Ayla. They arrive to find Bushans already battling
the Ayla and the crew quickly joins the fight.
As the battle rages and death butterflies enter
the fray, the party realizes the corpse of the
treant serves as a home for the Aela and decisively
sets it ablaze. Once the skirmish is finished,
Dart attempts to contact Sylvanas to cleanse
the pond, but finds himself unable to do so.
Thinking quickly, he dives into the pond and
discovers more Aela growth on a submerged piece
of the treant. Upon its destruction, Dart and
Drift are able to commune with Sylvanas and cleanse
the pond, restoring peace and tranquility to
the area. This is episode 8, Secrets and Invitations.
My partner's death doesn't have anything to do
with Sylvanas. Sylvanas can't control everything.
That's not her. I don't think that's how God
works. Or God's work. Not anymore. Because there's
no way he would let my partner suffer. Or he
would choose to make them suffer. The natural
world is vicious at times. Yeah. Well, and who
knows? Maybe someday I can get my hands on her.
a wish or something. I don't really think that's
possible. And he just goes quiet, and his ears
are kind of tucked back, and he's just looking
at the water, listening to the birds crackle
over fire. Man, if he wants his shrine to wish,
we could always let him draw from the deck of
many things. Just sitting there. Is that out
of character? Yes, that's out of character. Good
lord. A desperate man may be crazy enough to
drive. That's all I'm saying. And you have it
on you, don't you? I believe so. Yeah. It's two
different ones. Let's see. That would be such
a long episode. It's the expanded Deck of Daddy
thing soon. Oh, yeah. You get a kid in that case.
We're easy kind, but you also have a heart of
odyssey, so... Mm -hmm. That's just the sermon
in the podcast. Yeah. I see what you mean, yeah.
Meet in a tavern here. Is there something I want
to discuss with you guys? Um, the number is Val
wrote to me. Mm -hmm. She said she is willing
to be... our treasurer, but she wants to know
first what the pay benefits and accommodations
may be. I thought maybe that's something we should
discuss. It's like a unit. I know there's stipulation
as well. I think she said as long as she can
also resume her normal operation. I'm not stopping
my current work. But I would do it at your castle.
At the castle? I mean, presumably. I mean, I
guess your treasurer doesn't necessarily have
to live in the castle. I live in a great city.
I would feel like I would much rather have her
at my place, or bringing more, like, just people
come and visit her. You're not sure. You're not
exactly sure of the nature of exactly what Nobregal
does. So I would much rather her be at my place.
She's not necessarily a fence -eaver. Like, that's
not necessarily what she does. I'd much rather
have her registered than at Castlerite. Like,
she'd her near, but, um... Tiver her privacy.
Do we want to put a person we're that suspicious
of in charge of our funds? I don't... I think
she would do the job. But I think that the...
I don't want people coming into Castlerite who've
seen Lilac in particular. and notify whoever
the people are or scary would be upset about
it. I guess my stipulation would be then that,
because we're going to keep our treasury at Castle
Wren, that she would just be in charge of keeping
track of the numbers and then she would have
to instruct someone at Castle Wren with how things
should be spent, I guess. We would just send
her how much you bring in each time. The receipts
or statements. I'm pretty alright with it. But
I'd consider the potential of having her stay
in Gravestord, like the Lord's Fair. Making it
all for her, like, a house, paid holidays. Major
holidays off. They're all major holidays. There's
places where her clients help her stay at the
hotel tavern. It'd be good for the local economy.
I think that's, yeah. Okay. See, she's agreeable.
I don't know. Do I need to write all this down?
You don't have to. No, I'm here. Can I send a
letter to Numbers Val saying that we will pay,
I don't know, I think 50 gold a month is a good
wage. That's like holidays and a house in Gravesford
that she can operate out of freely. How many
days are there, Ian? Are you a very succinct
child? Uh, yeah, yeah, normal. Totally. Um, no.
Not 365. Um, 360, er, yeah, 367 because February
has 30 days. Or the second month has 30 days.
There's no short month. It's all 30 or 31. They
don't operate by the Julian calendar. It is 12,
it's a 12 month calendar. But every month, every
month it's 30 and then 31 and then 30 and then
31. So let's give her a birthday day and like,
I don't know, I don't know what major holidays
there are on. We want to have a job. We want
to have a birthday or a holiday. Yeah, like,
her birthday. Like, her teen, her small holiday.
Not for anyone. We just have a ton of holidays.
That's what. So 50 virtual holidays. Plus a birthday
day. Birthday is very important. V -day. And
a house. Access to our local doctors. Are there
doctors? We'll get them. We spent money there.
Yeah, you're working on the medical pens, yeah.
They're not fully operating, right? But it's
been a couple of weeks, so things are underway.
Like, it's not, you know, it will be medical
services, basically. So, numbers Val will counter,
and she will say, I would like, an additional
two weeks off per year. And if the house ever
needs repairs, you pay for it. It's your house.
I don't need my name on the deed or anything.
I just want to live in it. Okay. I feel like
that both are fair because it's sick time and
vacation time, you know? So I feel like let's
give you 15 sick days. 15 days are like a personal
day and then a birthday day. I have her... Okay.
Um, benefits listed. And she says, deal. Um,
let me know when, where, and she's like, fuck
this place. Fucking smells. Also, she will, she
will let you know that the majority of her work
to like these days is done remotely. Um, so she
won't have like a ton of foot traffic in and
out, but There probably would be some, so. Can
I also write a letter to Razlax informing him
of Numbers Val's new position? Val? Valentina's
new position? Don't use my real name. Giselle
needs to start adding trivia nights. That's part
of it. Oh my god. Yeah, make sure it's local
trivia. Is there local trivia? There needs to
be. There will be. Except it's too small of a
town to get away with becoming a Trivia Tina.
Maybe you can run Trivia. No, I come to win.
I don't want to... You run the numbers, not the
Trivia? Wait a minute. Radlax will write that
it shall be done, sir. Right away. Lord Darkheart,
have there been any complications so far? Nothing
we couldn't handle. If you guys are agreeable,
I will move the clock forward. You have to travel
through the Black Forest for a couple more days
before you can, like, really... It's slow going
through the forest. I always do that. I get the...
I always want to do month, year, day for some...
Boy, there's one other letter I wanted to send.
Okay, sure, yeah. Should I send that to you?
You can if you want to. Yeah. But yeah, so as
time goes on, you guys like, you know, whenever
the dark vision runs out, Drift will light a
torch and that will kind of help, you know, the
horses feel better. It's wrong for an encounter.
What dice do I eat? I do 12. Okay, so, um, two
days past when nothing really happened. On the
third day as you guys are traveling and everything
has been sort of, at this point, you like, you've
been driving through this forest for like a fucking
week. So sorry, what's the woad called that we're
going to the great woad. But yeah, so you guys
have like, you know, created a routine, you pack
up camp, you get up and go, you know, you eat
at a certain time or whatever. And so everything's
been kind of on track and you guys are continuing
your track. And you hear music coming from deeper
in the forest somewhere and it's kind of like
echoing around the trees and it is the sound
of like a lyre, which is a sort of like a lute.
A gentle stringed instrument playing a lovely
melody, a nice soft tune. It's a very like, yeah,
it's a very like gentle sort of happy song. No?
Is that you, right? No, that's not me. That's
nothing good in the forest. When you hear music
in the dark forest, you start questioning things
and we need to go. We need to go. um so rain
what? safaris checking in oh um i would love
to get out of this place that is rain is like
i wanna maybe also we've been in here for like
like a week she said yeah once every other day
yeah i got a 12 so like rain is she's holding
you together but also she just really wants to
get out um she While she's still fine, she'll
go into the forest for small bits of time, but
how long has this been? It's a week. A week,
yeah. This is starting to push how long she wants.
Sometimes even at conservatories, she'll take
time and go out with her and flexible. It's probably
been like five days. I feel like extended time.
Seven days is when she starts heading in. She
needs to start going back. But that's like, that's
Max. And you know that you're close to getting
out, like you're, you know, probably another
day to travel. So you guys just avoid the music.
Don't get any closer to it. Yep. Okay. Yeah,
so you guys avoid the music eventually. It's
no longer an earshot. You can kind of hear it.
You can, you know, you eventually like the sound,
you know. is from behind you that means you can
you can hear that you've passed it out um and
cute silvery squirrel gets rain music no so um
drift is like you know they could have been anything
but i'm glad that uh we didn't risk it honestly
um and you guys have taken like long rests and
stuff like that yeah um by the way so heal if
you need to. But other than that, like the rest
of the journey goes pretty, like pretty well.
There are definitely some sketchy times where
you hear like some bullshit, but you're able
to avoid it. Drift like knows the forest pretty
well and that helps a lot. Like if that makes
sense, like he's like, oh yeah, you know, up
this way is a big owl bear nest. We're gonna
have to like go around her. you know, sneak through
that sort of thing. And after what feels like
a painfully long amount of time, it probably
reminds you guys of being in the Underdark, you
know, just being in this pitch blackness for
like pretty much a week straight. And you reach,
like as you start to reach the edge of the forest,
it becomes, it's like less dark. You know what
I mean? Like it starts to be kind of more like
regular night time or whatever. You know what
I mean? and you start to let some light starts
to filter in and you guys make it out of the
black forest and ahead of you is like sort of
these like soft like rolling hills um and there
is not too far from where you are you can see
that there's like a town like a small village
um and if you guys check your map the map that
the uh that zola gave you from her cartographer
um he had plotted that you guys were going to
rest at this in this village before like going
through you know to the load area um you don't
have to but that's what he had kind of anticipated
you guys hearing um and it's like You have like
a really, you're a little bit elevated where
you are and it's a little bit lower. So it's,
it's fairly far. It's definitely like, it's going
to take like at least the rest of the day's travel
to get there if you would arrive at night. But
like, you can kind of see like the smoke rising
and the, and then the lights from the lanterns
and stuff like that. Because as you know, when
you guys get out of the black forest, it is like.
It is like, morning probably, but not fully light
yet. Yeah, that would kinda make sense. I don't
know. A nice place to sleep, wouldn't be bad.
Basically, there's a town half a day away. And
you guys are out of the city. I feel like both
Rain and Che do this just like big, big deep
breath out. Let's go to town. I wanna shower.
Yeah. I've been using prestidigitation the whole
time, but sometimes you just need a hot shower
to feel clean. Some funk you can't, prestidigitate.
Prestidigitation. Prestidigitate. I should've
told them to use it this town. Sorry, I was talking
to her. Would you like to addend it? Yeah. Okay.
Yeah, because I guess I would have known about
it because I have the math. True, true. Yeah,
that's fair. And you guys get some mail. Let
me send a message to you. Just one second. That's
hilarious. Yes, that's correct. Yes. I thought
you might like that. Push through the crank.
Push through the crank. Because it's hard. Because
it's perfect. Okay. Hey, I also have a letter
for you, Ryan. Like a different letter. The most
exciting part of the podcast. Everybody quietly
reads. Good morning. And I just sent you another
letter. Oh. Oh my god. Do you want me to read
that one? I want it. I want it. I know. It's
long. I'm reading. Okay. All this will be worked
over in post -production. Yeah. It'll be its
own episode. We just got a letter. I figured
we'd just like flip it in when it's like relevant.
Yeah. Like you probably have to like sparse these
out a little. sprinkle them in. Yeah. Or like,
summarize what's in them, I guess. Maybe the
letters can be Patreon content. There you go.
Are we good to summarize the letters with the
actual hard copies that are on Patreon? I feel
like they're good. Is that a petty -pay one?
They get to know what's in it, but they don't
get the cringe of the details. Yeah. They don't
get the emotion. Not everything, yeah. It's like
in it. But they get it more if they support us.
Yeah, I'll read some probably. We'll read some
of them out loud, but not all of them. You know,
there's a lot of letters that don't all need
to be read out loud. Not all of them are shared
around the whole table either, so it makes sense
for the audience. It doesn't get too narrow either.
Yeah, fuck you audience. Just kidding, thanks
guys. Love you. Mwah. Mwah. Zobari, what do you
think about Lars coming and backing us up a little
bit? I think we've been fine. To do what? I don't
know. I guess we've been doing fine. I guess
we don't need the backup. He's been getting stronger.
Don't hold head tilt me. Slow blink. Okay, never
mind. Whatever. Damn. Girls are back to fighting.
The girls never stopped. Drift's like, you got
side eyes? Then you guys can talk. I don't know
what's going on. He just said he was busy. Yeah,
obviously they don't feel like talking to me
like that. I just...why? I'm just concerned.
Why is Zara not talking to you? Why is the dad
so wanting to get you your marriage involved?
Probably because the Kenways suck. That's a given.
and in fact i'm eager to get this thing an old
i just i worry about their greater plan and i'm
my brain is imaginative so i don't know what's
going on so i'll commit to myself but like i
just worry and i want you to be protected and
yeah and she's like stops and oh my gosh they're
old i don't know oh my god you guys decide i
don't know what this part Ow! Rain blushes. You
can always, you can always decide if the ice
didn't properly represent, but it's up to you.
Rain. I'm scared. Remember to work on your trust
issues. I'm trying. And then she was like pushing
so hard. I mean, I'm working really hard. I think,
I don't, I feel like rain wouldn't take that
very well. I'm just like, I have to work on them.
I don't know, I was just wanting to see how mean
the world was gonna be. And she was like, higher
is gonna be meaner, but she rolled a three. So
pretty mean. So pretty mean, damn. What was gonna
be meaner? And how she takes her own content.
Yeah. Britches definitely like, side -eye her.
Like, he can't side -eye to dark and starts reading
letters and just like, oh my gosh. He's the one
that's like, stuck there when like, the couple
is fighting. Yeah. We want a third wheel. What
was the name of that big spell book? Damn. Um,
it's... Arcadia's Arcane Opedia. Pretty good,
I would say. Arcadia's are better. Gotcha. I
am using that note program. What's it called?
Obsidian? Obsidian. Yeah, I'm using it to try
and condense my notes so I don't have so many
pieces of paper rifling around. Yeah, me too.
Me too. I've been... working on it quite a bit.
You guys are out of the black forest, I can close
that! I know what it seems. Do you, uh, want
to disclose what you read? Oh, yeah, I probably
should, huh? Scratch my finger. I can... So...
Attempt to read it in character, but I could
try, I don't know. Edmund has written me. Okay.
Uh, the gist of it is that... Lord Saxton's trial
will be in like two weeks. They are trying to
get together all of the evidence they can. They've
got some evidence, but they would like to know
if there's anyone we can tell them about who
will work for them, who could give them more
information. I was thinking... Fuck this. Yeah.
Was it... They were gay. Remember? Those two.
It's all good to remember about love, like, you
know, we found them making out in the closet.
Those guys. It was like a human and a bugbear.
Yeah. Yeah. They were gay. I feel like we could
probably volunteer them as potential witnesses.
They were inside the star chamber area. They
saw what was going down. Yeah. I know what's
up. We don't need to expose their secret necessarily.
Right. I mean, that's neither here nor there.
It's probably not a problem anymore, just because,
you know, it's just back there. Dear Edmund,
find a gay bugbear. That's where you're looking
for it. What's that experiment thing that you
guys have found? We don't know if it ever made
it out alive, but if it did and they find it,
that's cool. I don't remember anything else.
I feel like the person that took over for the
Lord's action after we kidnapped him, if he hasn't
fled. he was like the money man he'd probably
be someone useful assuming he's not gone taste
oh yeah taste has also got some information yeah
well yeah obviously taste is with them so yeah
so he'll be there yeah um but he also said that
The Emperor has basically shut off all access
to the Star Chamber and has told them not to
mess with any of the evidence in there until
the Emperor can send his own person to go over
it, which makes me a little suspicious. Okay.
But I don't feel like there's a whole lot we
can do about that. Yeah, that's a bit above us.
He does have two of the Umbermoor Paladins guarding
the Star Chamber. Okay. Did you hear that? They're
guarding the Star Chamber and getting evidence.
Well, the Emperor has basically banned us from
the Star Chamber evidence. Like, all the evidence
of Lord Saxton's wrongdoing in terms of Edmund
is fair game. But the stuff about his weird experiments
is kind of being denied to us. That's my conjecture.
I'm not sure about his thoughts. Bedman also
says that he is extremely exhausted by his newfound
physician and that there's a part of him that
wishes that he had never been rescued because
he's having a difficult time. I'm sorry, I don't
like that. Yeah, that's about the size of it.
I think. Well, he also mentioned something about
taste. oh yeah investigating so taste is using
his familiar familiar familiar i like that i
like saying it like that i don't know why he's
doing his best to transcribe as much of the information
as he can um so yeah he basically told him that
taste is using his familiar to like to crawl
around inside the castle um and he's trying to
like Copy the evidence basically that he can
And he had asked if there was anything like in
particular and he thought would be useful to
you guys for him to look for Otherwise he's just
gonna you know do his best to find like the most
Partinent information because there's a lot of
information is what they were kind of saying
like There's a lot of stuff so i don't really
remember exactly all of the details of what was
in the star chamber that we were kind of like
oh shit all this stuff is crazy yeah i just remember
the weird monster thing that we freed that i
don't know if it survived the human bugbear couple
and that there was a dude who got put in charge
after we took lord saxton who was like What else
do we have with Edmund? Like that's really our
major... So basically Edmund said that there
were letters, maps, diagrams, arcane writings,
and that like it's not like necessarily not everything
that they found in the star chamber like directly
is about like the Edmund stuff. Like there's
also other stuff like plans for the future. and
like you know future conquest there's like um
you could you could ask him like uh i want you
to transcribe as much info as you can about the
experiments that they were doing or like i want
you to transcribe about like what their future
plans were or whatever like that sort of thing
like like what is it that you think you would
want to know from this information most because
there's a lot of it and he doesn't have he can't
go through all of it It's impossible. He doesn't
have that long. And he's doing it as a tiny spider,
you know, remotely, and having to copy it by
hand. So it's a very time consuming process.
It doesn't have Demelza to help him at the Benegar
Castle. I feel like if Emperor Dain is trying
to keep the weird experiments under wraps, as
well as the results of said experiments then
the more information we have on that the better
prepared we'll be in the future to like he's
not okay he's okay with those experiments but
not lilac like or like dragon or like all those
teammates that he knew about in the first place
so us do still think we should learn what we
can about stuff regarding the experiments that
yeah i also want to know if they've come across
any information about kenway and the sickness
bow um to go along with that i would like to
know why he wanted to attack the kenways and
dollar ass i am very interested in that thank
you about the emperor or about the about sex
does that sex sex okay so i thought Um, as my
race. No, your girl. Yeah, you guys have known
because the creature told you that Saxton was
preparing to, like, try to take over Doll Rat.
I would like that I would like this, yeah, information
about future plans with Wive. And then information
about how he killed Edmund's family. Like, I
feel like that itself... Right, do we have evidence
of how Saxon was a usurper, right? There's some,
yeah. They're trying to gather as much as possible.
We can also have them ask the orcs that are at
Castle Wren, because they were, like, made the
original deal with Saxon. See if they're going
to break their work there. crew so you can see
if there's any people working there yeah yeah
and you guys did find like the letters i think
you did find a letter from zackson to boomberg
or doracore i'm pretty sure you guys already
thought you had found that yeah i don't think
you know yeah i had it in my uh So I'm sure yeah,
I'm sure that you could submit that basically
like I found a bunch of letters I mean Edmund
doesn't go into detail explaining this but basically
it's just you know, they want to charge him for
multiple crimes. Like, you know, it's not just
like murder. It's not it's conspiracy. It's treason.
It's you know, it's fraud. It's you know, crimes
against humanity like what he did what he was
doing when he was planning to do. Because if
for whatever reason, you know, Saxon is able
to contest this and like take it to a higher
court, like you want to have it like be stacked.
Yeah, stacked as possible. It's kind of, you
know, his thing. And then mechanically when it's
time for his trial, you know, do a roll. take
into account like see how guilty he is that you
guys have gained you guys have added in and you
know i mean i as i know how guilty he is yeah
how does the result of the trial i mean how does
the courts find them i it's basically impossible
for him to get off scott bree it's just a matter
of like is he imprisoned is he going to be you
know executed is he going to like exile you know
be exiled or what what is going to be you know
the punishment and ultimately will he have a
chance to return as a fucking asshole in your
life and lives at the end of all this. Oh my
God. Right. But yeah, so you guys will receive
some letters and you're traveling. Drift is like,
you know, do you guys want to just like, go to
town as quickly as we can? Or do you want to
take it easy? and take a, you know, take a day
to get to town, or do we look for a rush over
there and get there by this evening? Are we going
to get to town this evening, or am I just...
To the town where we were going to rest? Yeah.
Or to our shelter. So, um, checking that map
again, uh, he did write in the name of the town,
it is the town of Little Ivywood. Um, it is very,
like, rural out here, like, this is just like...
It's a tiny town, not near other big towns. It's
the closest town to the edge of the road. It's
rather hot today, but it's finally drying up
a bit. It's not as humid as it has been. It's
not rainy. And you'll arrive into town around
6 p .m. It being summer, it's probably still
like an hour before, you know, sunset at least.
Or sorry, yeah, sunset at least. So you guys
make it kind of like in the late, late afternoon
to the edge of town. And it is, it's very quiet.
It's got, you can tell like all of the... houses
that are here are like very old and they have
kind of like grown in to where they are if that
makes sense like there's like a lot of plants
about town there's like there's like some trees
and stuff and there's like vines that have like
you know grown up the sides of like most of the
buildings and it's not like it's not like um
i should say it's not like overgrown it's just
kind of like um settled in if that makes sense.
And you can see that there really isn't much
to this place. There's a farm, like just outside
of Little Ivywood or on the edge of it. And you
can see that there's like a bunch of trees in
rows. Looks like, you know, an orchard of some
sort. You guys are, you know, you kind of come
into town and it's sort of like, residential
on the outside and you know, typically businesses
and stuff are like down this, you know, the main
road or whatever. So you guys get into town.
And like it's very like, like I said, it's very
peaceful. It has like a really, you know, really
chill, really good vibe. And you guys are like
walking up to like the sort of like business
area. You can see that there is a general store
called the Daily Forage. There is an apothecary
called the root and petal. There's a tavern called
Boo's Hound. There is an inn. The inn has like
a it has like a thatched roof which the other
like buildings don't have like all the other
buildings have like a tile but the inn has a
thatched roof but it's like very nice and it
is called the underwing or it's just called underwing.
is all it's called, not the underway, sorry.
And, you know, at the edge of town there is a
farm that contains an orchard and they're called
Witch Fork Farms. Does the farm have like a stay
-in cabin or anything? No, there's just the inn.
And then there are stables called Fortune's Philly,
like at the, you know, at the other edge of town.
And, oh, there's also a butcher, sorry. called
called marbled mallet and that would be also
in the shopping district so there's a local butcher
um but yeah so you guys have you know you have
your pick of like where you want to go um but
any of you guys are kind of like looking around
kind of getting your bearings and as you're doing
that um you see somebody who kind of like stands
out from like like everyone else who's kind of
like everyone else is wearing like you know button
-up shirts and overalls and like farming clothes
and you know long dresses and you see um she's
sort of like a thin pale woman she has raven
black hair and like almost like eerily large
eyes um and she's wearing like a tight black
dress with a corset layered over it and like
jewelry um She has her face is like powered and
she has black lipstick on. Her nails are painted
black and they're pointed. And, and she, she
is carrying a basket, like in the crook of her
arm. And it is a black basket. And on the front
of it is like Like some like twigs, like a little
like wreath of like a small wreath of twigs and
like squirrel skulls. Oh my goodness. You know?
And it's very pretty. There are, you know, it's
very pretty. She has like dry, in her bathroom,
she has like dried black roses and several other
like, it looks like, you know. something that
stuff that she like forged or whatever and she
doesn't like approach you guys or anything but
she looks at you as she's like walking past like
very clearly like no shame just looking at you
and why even say hi i just like acknowledge and
keep asking um she'll acknowledge you back um
but she definitely like you know after you guys
like pass by her she if are you like looking
back or anything or do you just you know No.
Okay. So we'll have to walk back. So we'll have
to look back. She stopped and was like watching
you guys. That's weird. I don't know what he
did. Okay. He said keep walking. Keep walking.
Okay. So um and it's like and Drift kind of like
is also like because he has no shame either.
He'll stare right back at her and kind of like
flick his ear you know. Like, what are you looking
at? Um, but she doesn't, like, do anything, like,
that means that she's just, like, watching you
guys, like, you know? Who are these people? And
nobody is, like, reacting to her, like, she is
unusual to them, if that makes sense. Like, people
are walking by, or people are waving to her,
and she's, like, waving back, and she'll give,
like, a smile and a nod, and, like, and somebody,
like, stops and starts talking to her. Um, and
she's, you know, just smiling and talking to
them, and... He tries to give her like some fresh
baked rolls and she's like, oh never turned down
And she's like holding up her basket kind of
like gesturing like I know and and so it's like
that's that's kind of like what you what you
guys walk away from or roll away from and The
tavern, the inn. The rain was going straight
to the inn and she sent the message back to Saris.
Okay, we go. The park wants to go to the inn
so she is in a bad mood. So you guys go to the
inn and when you like open the door you immediately
hear like the like the sound. You can't hear
it from outside the building but as soon as you
like walk in or as soon as you get into the building
you can hear the sound of an accordion. and there
is in like in the corner of the room there's
kind of like you walk in you immediately see
like a like a it basically looks like a house
but there's a front desk set up set up and there's
like a little lobby essentially and standing
in the corner in the lobby like leaning against
the wall is an Aarakopra and he is he has like
blue plumage like blue and white with a little
bit of black, he basically, you know, has, you
know, very... It's like sky blue. A very crisp,
clear, like, sky blue. And he is playing accordion.
And it's like, you know... And it's like a soft,
like, as soft as an accordion can be, sort of
jaunty little tune. And there is another Arapopra
woman who is standing behind the... the counter
and and she is also like of this like blue jay
variety that she has like a small like black
beak and her um her coloration is like kind of
grayed out if that makes sense like he's like
a lot more vibrant than her but she does but
she's still like she's she's really beautiful
it's like a very subtle soft feminine sort of
like coloration in comparison um Like, his sky
blue is almost harsh. Now that, you know, you're
like, you look at her and she doesn't have like
a, to have like a crest or anything on her head.
And she, you know, she waves and she goes, she
goes, uh, well. Dart is overcome with excitement
and runs over to start playing the harmonica
with the guy playing the accordion. Oh my god.
Jam. He could use the help. He could use the
help. He's not doing great today. I guess, yeah,
he's a little off key. It's been forever since
I've been able to run off from the group and
do some weird shit. Yeah, she goes, welcome to
the group. Hi, I think we need three rooms. Oh.
Okay, let me see here. And she will, um, you
know, open up her book. She has like a booking,
you know, thing and she's kind of looking. She
goes, um, I can, I only have two rooms available.
Um, would that suffice? The prince has two beds.
Do not need a room. I saw a very handsome tree
outside. oh yeah there's some really nice trees
and it's kind of like it's it's a little like
it's kind of tropical up here like a little bit
if that makes sense like boney yeah just the
hell i like it's hot yeah it's hot it's it's
humid it's not as humid as it has been but it's
still pretty humid and yeah it's it's you know
you've been probably been enjoying the weather
quite a bit honestly um My hair's been frizzy
the whole time. Does the one with the bigger
one have a shower? Do you have the one with the
bigger bed? Oh, no, there's no showers. I'm sorry.
That's fine. We will take the two rooms. Yeah,
okay, yeah. Absolutely. It's one silver per night.
I'll give you no gold. Oh, wow. Oh, thank you.
So, what brings you guys to... to Little Ivywood.
Just passing through. It seemed like a really
nice place just to be relaxed and be safe in,
you know? We just came through the Black Forest
so we just needed something, somewhere to be
safe. Yeah, I see, yeah. Yeah, you know what,
normally it's pretty safe around here. Things
have been getting a little rowdy here and there,
but lately I think, you know... What do you mean?
Well, um... We've been getting the occasional
creature from the world. I'm coming through last
Last week it was a bone stalkers He's killed
some of us but the Primrose Xander and it's off
take care of you know, those types things for
us Do you accept drink tokens from the Rat Bird
Tavern? Uh, no. Serve drinks. We're just an inn,
we do breakfast, but we don't serve drinks. We'll
have like water, if you like to eat water, but
you know, but you can go to the Booze Hound and
uh... But yeah, she'll basically say like, yeah,
Primrose said that the load has been disturbed.
And it's, I guess, been going on for quite a
while now. And it's getting, I guess, worse.
That's where we're headed to. Oh! To help figure
out what's going on. Goodness, are you sure?
I think so, right? That's where we're going?
Mm -hmm. Yep, that's where we're going. Well,
um... Good luck with that, yeah. That's why we
need to rest before we got there. Oh, absolutely,
yeah. Yeah, please. Your room numbers are six
and seven. Which one do you want? I'll take six.
Okay, is that the one with the big bed? Because
I want you to have whichever one you want. Seven
is the one with the big bed. She's final six.
Okay. Six has two beds. Then I'll take seven.
Are you okay for the night? I was gonna... I
just... Yes, I am fine. Drift is like, um...
Oh yeah, Drift. He's like, I like to sleep in
the trees as well. Okay. But don't worry. I saw
you mark the tree, like, I won't mess with it.
I mean, I like you and all, but a cat and a frog
sharing a tree, it's unheard of where I come
from. He goes, he's like, hi friend, me too.
Me too. But... It has been a - it has been an
arsehole battle with you and whatever's going
on with your people, we're gonna get it sorted
out by Sylvanas. Uh, I don't know what that means,
but I'll read it. Um, was it - I just - I - I
sent Zara a message. There's reasons why Rae
wanted to go straight to the end. I sent her
a letter, I swear. All the messages happening.
Dirk, what is the song that you end up playing?
Let's see here. As soon as the accordion music
playing, I'm just harmonizing. I'm playing along.
And I picked this entirely at random and it's
pretty fucking perfect. It's so good. It's called
Paris Pugel by Ralph Gershadel. Good. Shout out
to Ralph. What? Gershadel. That guy's de -shadle.
Can you say it one more time? A little bit slower.
De -shadle. De -shadle. I still haven't found
a good use for my two pounds of wild magic cocaine.
There's use right there. I'm going through my
inventory of all the stuff that I've collected.
I've got some weird things. What the hell? What
am I adding? Is it perfect? um the cocaine i
got you and it's a song reference whatever you
think is relevant because it's not necessarily
a performance okay i was just over there whatever
yeah i trust you to make your best judgment on
the math what else you're doing are you just
playing with them mr dart yeah for now uh yeah
and he um Yeah, he's having a great time with
you. Um, what player are you? Birdie. Well, we
will say that his name is Jonathan. It's a pleasure
to meet you, Dart. You're quite the harmonica
smith. Harmonica smith? Harmonica? Harmonicist?
I'll take it. Thank you. My name is Jonathan.
It's lovely to meet you. What brings you guys
in town? They seem like the adventuring type.
Yeah, we're on our way to the Great Wode. Oh,
really? Yeah, you haven't by chance seen any
other other people that look like me recently,
have you? No, I can't say I have, but... If they're
in the Wode, um, I haven't gone in there personally
for many years now. But, you know, it's more
of an adventurer's gambit. I'm a simple working
man. Understood. I just, uh... And an accordionist,
I guess. I feel like you used to see more frog
folk around these parts. Uh, yeah. Yeah, no,
you're right. Definitely. Without a doubt. But
it's been probably a few years. we're guessing
about as long as i'm being gone i agree sure
well they jam their feelings out they jam their
feelings out roll to see how good of a jam session
is this Performance. Performance? Yeah. I got
a 25. Oh! Well, he got an 18. I'm jamming my
freaking heart out. Yeah, he got an 18, so you
guys are really, you guys are making some beautiful
fucking music. Seems sweet. Yeah, it's a really
good time and you feel like he hears you and
understands you through the music. Hear your
pain. Can we hear it in the hotel rooms? Oh,
yeah. Yeah, you do. The painful music. Yeah.
What? I said that was her fighting. Oh, I was
like, what are you doing? Are you guys up in
your rooms? Yeah. If they're gonna... Go to their
rooms. I might make a quick trip to the tavern.
Okay. So you head over to the booze hound. And
it is at this time, it's quite a busy little
tavern and you can see that there are halflings
working behind the counter. They have like a
shorter counter. And there are a number of other
halflings running around cleaning, working, waiting
tables. They all have brown or red hair. And
they all kind of look related, if that makes
sense. There's a young man who's bartending.
He's probably like... 19 and uh and he's like
pouring some drinks for someone else and slide
and like kind of slides them over to him and
like and you know and then he looks at you and
he goes hey can i get you something and depends
do you accept drink tokens from the rat bird
tavern rat bird where's that you know i honestly
don't remember they've been in my inventory for
like 140 seconds yeah i'll just um pay with normal
money. Do you want ale, wine, or something much
something stronger? I like whiskey or moonshine.
Feels like a wine evening. Oh sure, yeah absolutely.
Just out of curiosity, have you seen like a,
that's a good way to put this, like a man snake
hanging around? A man -snake? Yeah, he's like
a snake, but kind of like arms and stuff. Um,
you know, I can't say I have. Oh, well, if one
happens to pass through, would you tell them
I'm sleeping in that tree over there? I mean,
it's dirt. Yeah. That's living like a ghost.
Sure. um dart make a perception check look at
this 19 um so the man who would just order the
drinks that he slid over to him he looks like
a normal guy but he kind of looks he kind of
squints at you just a little and then like for
a moment his eyes become like reptilian slits
and then he blinks and they go back to normal
and he kind of like nods and turns his head My
god. I wink at him. Like a big, bulgy -eyed wink.
Excellent. In no way, shape, or form, subtle.
Crockless. They're not necessary here. The message
definitely is getting across. And the bartender
kind of looks at you and just like... Okay, yeah,
if I see yeah, I'll do that. Yeah It's a it's
a two copper for the wine Here's like two silver.
Oh, thanks We accept tips here for sure and he
will give you wine and it is like It's probably
like Apple and like berry wine um has pretty
high sugar content to it but it's not bad it's
nothing like super special but it's kind of like
a sangria almost means like a dragonfly chaser
so through the window sylvanas throws you a dragonfly
it just lands right in your drink like it like
sticks up perfectly like a you know like a little
stir yeah You stick two olives on it? Big ups
to the man upstairs. Capital H -I -M. Who is
one person in your character's life that changed
the course of their story? I mean... I have 20
answers for that one. Possibly 30. So I feel
like the answer has got to be Walter He was the
like the kid to that Like pretty much everyone
you were able to get set up with their like mentor
and whatnot, but he We tried to get him set up
with a blacksmith, but it just didn't it just
didn't work out And then we tried to encourage
him to do jewelry making because it was like
he still got to swing a hammer It was just much
smaller But like The only kids who really stayed
with me are Walter and Hesperos. Walter because
like he's too tiny and he still needs me and
Hesperos because he wants to like literally be
me. And the rest of them were just like, money
please. Rain's one person would be Lady Chaywin.
She found her in the forest of Mimicry after
she'd lived in this spooky scary forest for a
year and a half, um, and gave her her first scrap.
And she is basically the mayor of Colia and the
leader of a secret organization helping disabled
elves. Another folk. Well, no, actually I think
if I really wanted to get technical the person
that would have to be my answer for that question
would be you Reign Yeah Yeah Because like I Was
on a different path until I like Hooked up with
you and started actually trying to do things
for the people I mean clearly I was still in
my quest of vengeance against orcs that were
currently dealing with in the campaign. But like,
who I was before I met you and who I was after
I met you were clearly very different people.
Coming in on the back end of that, I will give
two answers because I've already backed Rain.
but I'm just going to talk more about rain for
a little bit now. This is worse than people talking
about rain, though. For Zavari, when she started
the campaign, she was, um... Littria. Littria,
first of all. And she was a much more closed
off person because of her experiences in Dalarath,
which like, she hasn't really talked about. It
hasn't been like outside of the stuff you already
know, it hasn't been relevant. And the last person
she was really close to fucking died. Zivari
decided to honor her by taking up the name and
naming herself after somebody that she wanted
to model herself after. It didn't work very well.
So enters Reign. Reign has shown her incredible
kindness and sometimes, in her opinion, incredible
cruelty that she has been thankful for and she
does not know she would have the strength to
accept the blessings of Asmodeus if she wasn't
looking for Reign's strength. For better and
for worse. So that's her first answer. The other
answer is Tace, honestly. She met Tace during
literally probably the worst span of months in
her entire fucking life. Tace still trusted her
and loved her and saw the best in her when she
thought that there was nothing left to love,
that she was not a lovable person. And she could
never repay that. She could never thank him enough
for loving her as she is. And she loves him back
so very much. I'm gonna go and sit down at that
other dude's table. Oh, he's like at the bar.
Oh, well I'm gonna sit down right next to him.
Do you want me to meet you later in the tree?
No, I feel like this is probably fine. Oh. Are
you... Yes. Alright. And he pulls down his cloak,
um, but he's just, you know, he looks like a
guy with brown hair and obviously I do not look
like this normally. As I say, you weren't what
I was expecting. Wasn't I dispensed? That's probably
smart. Yes. Would you like me to reveal nature?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're
good. You're good. Subtlety is best. It's exactly
what I hired you for. Excellent. Um, that being
said, I feel like it's probably wise that you
meet the team that way. I figured that would
be inevitable. Um... That way, they're not surprised,
should you need to intervene. Of course. Right?
Do we get our drinks to go? Can I get this wine
wrapped up? You guys got to -go cups? Is there
Styrofoam in this universe? It's a festival,
Mr. Prime will take us around. They have a...
No, they don't have anything. You can't take
it to go. Alright, I'll just chug it. And yeah,
it's not enough to get you drunk, but it's good.
I mean, it's like a small cup of wine. It's not
like a big glass of it. And even though you're
a small guy, it's probably not enough to get
you drunk. But you do feel it maybe a little.
And this man will get up and follow you. All
right, I go back to the end. You go back to the
end. And it's, you know. We go back to the end.
Okay. And yeah, he'll just follow you like wordlessly.
You know, just give me the, you know. And you
can already tell like as you guys are walking
around that he's like, he seems very alert. We'll
go back to, we'll go to one of the rooms, but
like knock on the door of the other room. I need
to gather the team. Guys, can I talk to you for
just like a hot second? Yeah, sure. I'm writing
your your boyfriend and yeah, very fine. Yeah.
Oh, sure. And should I push this stuff away?
They're always writing her boyfriend. Side by
side in Ruby's. Cause it's hot and even. Yeah.
Same thing. Yeah. So you gathered the team and
you see that there is a man who is wearing a
like brown cloak and some very, like, some very
simple, like, loose robes underneath. And he
has brown hair and brown eyes and a, like, sort
of very neutral expression. So I did something.
Is this another kid? Who is something? Calm down,
everybody. I have hired myself. a bodyguard.
What's his CV? What's his credentials? I looked
into that plenty. He is... It's been 10 minutes.
Plenty dangerous, but the whole job that I've
hired him for is not to get directly involved
in combat. He's not going to be out there fighting
in our fights with us. His very specific job
is to only intervene... if it seems like someone's
gonna assassinate me. Okay. So basically his
job is to just like me in the background in the
shadows watching over me in case anything goes
down. He is so tempted to like pretend to like
hit you. I would advise against that. He's very
good. But I just wanted to let you know So you
wouldn't be curious about what he's doing. I
need an insight check. Go ahead. You think somebody's
going to try to assassinate you? Nat 20. Oh,
Nat 20 plus 9. So, he is like, so he has an extremely
usual expression. He is like... somewhat inscrutable,
if that makes sense, if you look at his face.
But really, if you look at his body language
and stuff, that starts to tell more of a story.
And you get the impression that this is a professional,
if that makes sense. The way he is carrying himself,
he's relatively formidable. He does not seem
to have any ill intent. I know how you feel about
shady dudes, but this is my shady dude. Hello.
Hey, shady dude. Do you want to tell him your
name? That thing? Well, I am Shadow Viper. Shady
dude, got it. And he will reveal his true form.
Oh my god. It's a magic girl transformation.
I don't have like a... Um, a specific picture?
Any place you're saying this name. Shadow Viper.
Shadow Viper. Is he a follower? That's what they're,
that's their thing, right? Um, yes, but um...
He just looks like Psy. I don't know if you wanted
to make him look like one of these more specific
images. But in like... There's lots of good ones.
Vigour form. A little bit of a virgin water in
there. But black. Right, or what is the we're
kind of right there, right? I was thinking why
she was like black you were like Yeah So basically
he has He has the head of a snake And it is like
we're talking like Yes, he's a wanty. For what?
Wanty. He's basically like a snake person. In
his like true form, he does not have legs. He
has like a snaky body, but he has like a humanoid
upper body. Yes. And he has like a He's kind
of like a he's like a black mamba. So he's like
completely black and it kind of has this like
sort of like wide head And his scales glib they're
kind of like glitter. They're really beautiful.
They're really beautiful and And yeah, and that's
like that's why he has such like a empty sort
of emotionless expression is just because Yeah,
something like that. Yeah, it kind of looks like
that something like that. Yeah But in close.
He says, you know, worry not. Worry not. I know
that my appearance is quite disturbing to some.
First Friar's Mouth Snakes. When he talks you
can tell he has like big fangs that are bent,
like they're like tucked in into his mouth. Because
that's like how snakes, they're like fangs like
they deploy kind of like, you know. You can see
that he's got big fangs tucked into his mouth.
It's like the meme with the calculations of -
It's like Men in Black. He's an edger. He wears
a skin suit. You have skin in both sides. Dope,
right? Yeah, he says, you know, I don't wish
to interfere with any of your work, but it is
likely that you will see me in this true form
occasionally. And I would like you to be made
aware of it and me. Okay, thanks for the transparency.
It seems like I'm gonna get killed. This guy's
gonna be all over. I mean, snake and a frog?
I'm a little nervous. Is that racist? Yes. Okay,
I apologize. Okay. Is this a race? Let's see.
You may occasionally see him eating small animals.
I mean, I just don't eat daru and wasabi. Daru
flux or daru thin. I'm like, well, I'm capable
of controlling myself. Okay. From what I've heard,
he's also really good at interrogation. I would
never eat my boss. I'm an understanding. I signed
those checks. Figuratively speaking. Precisely.
Don't eat the frog that it pays you. Gotcha.
So anyway, yeah. I am a personal security expert.
I used to do security for my birth mother. Oh,
isn't he awesome? I technically hired this guy
before we started Curse of Strahd. Oh, it's been
a while, but it's been quite a while. Yeah. How'd
you find him? Well, I had to finish up a job,
and then we both forgot about him, and then we
remembered. So now here he is. Okay. Oh, shoot.
That's crazy. Well, I have a - Welcome to the
team. Welcome to the team. You don't have benefits.
Except for a little holidays and - Oh, that being
said, um - That was disgust. Real quick, uh,
go. Do you think you'd want a jar of poison?
Sure. Uh, two pints of purple worm poison. Yes.
And also four other vials of poison. Yes. I don't
feel like I used those. Yeah, you can just like,
yeah, just text it to me. Yeah, I guess I'll
get poison from it. If you would like, I can
wash your companion's backs as well, but I do
not. I do not think it will not interfere with
my focus on you as my primary projection target,
just if I happen to see. So I can alert them.
I mean, if things get really dicey, that's your
time to jump in. I am comfortable with this.
You will hardly notice that I am here. Thanks.
Hired me a bodyguard. Now you're really cooking.
A big scary one. That's what I've always wanted.
He is pretty unnerving. Every humanoid has a
natural sort of innate fear of snakes. It's just
built in to having skin and a skeleton. being
vulnerable to it, basically. So like, yeah, it's
kind of unnerving. But he's like, he's not making
any sudden movements. He's very still and like,
very like... If anything, that's kind of unnerving
as well. Probably. His aura. Probably, yeah.
Because he's not like, he's definitely not like...
Doing anything to like to seem human, you know
what I mean? He maybe he was like maybe when
he first walked up and he was disguised But now
that he's dropped to this guy's he's not doing
anything to seem human Yeah, and so it's a little
just different but yeah shadow viper. He does
that that is his code name He has a name, but
he does not think that you need to know that
But dark is aware of my true name, so So I sent
him all of my poisons. Freeing up a little room
in the healer inventory. Cool, so you just, uh,
you know, you do you. Excellent. I think we'll
be, uh... I have a room at this inn, but not
as new, but as the man I was before. Top notch.
Good stuff. And I think we'll probably be shipping
out in the morning? Presumably? Um... That's
a big part of the reason why I don't want to
do stuff anymore. If there's anything else that
you guys want to do in town before you leave,
you can. But, you know, we can advance the clock.
We'll have to carry for healing stuff after we
wake up, but I'm really tired, guys. I just...
That just took it out of me, and I'm benacious,
and now I just need to unmask and go hang out
in my room. Do you need me for anything else?
No. Are you tired? and then she gives like a
quick check in with Zavari. She'd be like, hey
I know it was stressful, thanks for all your
help. I always knew you had my back and that
just like was really helpful and I hope you know
that I always have your back. If you need me
you can message me or if you need me I can talk
to you now. I'll be fine. You have fun. I'm not
sure how much fun I'm gonna have. We'll see.
Is this like a Zavari is like seeing through
me situation? Okay. I was like, do you have fun?
Um, I'll try to come to see you. He does not.
Okay, that's fun. There were one thing and one
thing over. Damn. Spending time with you. You
know, whatever form that takes. Yeah. But in
the morning, the next day, Zavari, you do get
a letter. I have a question. Is it possible to
get from the general store a customized signet
ring? I'll write the little stamp back onto my
letters so people know they're officially from
Dirk. Yes, but it would take like probably a
day or so to complete, so you'd have to hang
out in town for another day. But yeah, you could
do it for sure. and it wouldn't be like super
expensive or difficult like you're like you know
that's a pretty yeah pretty easy there's like
a local metal work room do you guys feel like
hanging out here for a day checks fine that sounds
i mean we're we're here to support you dart like
whatever you need if we want to hang out here
for a day there's like a guy in the background
you can kind of turn his head and he's looking
at dart and um you like look at him and you're
like wait is that shadow wiper or Oh shit, now
Rain is like, fuck. Like, could be anybody. You
know, to come up with a hand signal or something
to ease your anxiety. Or just like something
visual to you. I could make him be the guy always
rolling a coin on his knuckles. Oh god. Oh god.
It's an inside thing! But no, there's gonna be
a coin guy and we hate him. Maybe something going
guy. I know Bumpleton and we gave him a shitty
name Yeah Yeah Yeah, I'm good with that. I'm
good. I'm getting a special I'm made so Well,
you can give me some sort of signal and I can
blink my lizard eyes at you My reptile eyes,
I should say I always are reptile eyes rail fix
her Ribbons when she needs to know where yeah
so make eye contact with me fix your ribbons
and i will flash my lizard eyes at you if it's
me if not then you know it's not me so okay fair
fair and i won't do it if it's like in like situations
where you can be found out or whatever it means
to me like like if i can't flash my lizard eyes
um i'll like i'll find a different way to subtly
It depends on the situation. If I can't flash
my lizard eye, because that's very not obvious,
or snake eyes, that's very not obvious, I'll
figure out something else. Or, you know, just
be patient with me sometimes. Now I've got a
dancing shadow and a non -dancing shadow. But
yeah, so you want to go to the apothecary? I
want healing stuff. My name is Grace. It's a
good time for a ride. I forgot about Grace. My
name. I have her. I'll list it. You go to the
Roots and Petal. It is a small shop. There is
like, um, there's like active plants growing
everywhere inside of this shop. And there are,
um, There's like a very specific like color scheme.
It's like pink and peach and orange and I'm trying
to think of like and then also like a deeper
pink and you see that there are Two women like
sitting behind. It's not even a counter. It's
just kind of like a table But you can see like
on the table they have like a sign You know,
like a little sign that's on a stand. And they're
sitting there, like, on a love seat. And one
of them, and they're just two, you know, human
women. One of them's, like, much tanner than
the other one and has, like, long brown hair.
And the other one has, like, a short cut. of
like dark brown hair and she is braiding the
other woman's hair when you guys come in or when
you come in and she's and then the like the bell
goes off she goes uh the the girl who's uh braiding
goes oh welcome to the welcome to the rosenpedal
let me know if you need anything oh wow this
is really a beautiful place um and she is just
like Rain is on cloud nine. I feel like she is
on the top of the world, feeling confident, feeling
into herself. Had a good night. Had a real good
night. And wants to kind of treat herself a little
bit as well as give something. Sorry. Because,
yeah. And maybe talk. Well, we have a special
homemade tea mixes. That would be wonderful.
I would love to get some tea. This one's called
the Lavender Lovers. It's like a 20 minute stream.
Lavender Lovers? Oh no, that's not the name of
it. Okay, and she smells it and she's like, okay,
that's interesting. What other ones do you have?
Well, there's a local orchard that we have like
an apple cider tea. Oh, that would be amazing.
Can I have one ounce of that? Yeah, yeah, of
course. And then... they also have like regular
green and black tea um they have uh what kind
of tea does zavari drinks because i know rain
would know it but i rachel donnelly so um i think
that she's probably an herbal tea kind of girly
honestly and probably just green teas oh i feel
like she doesn't really do black tea okay so
it sticks with the green tea variety i trust
you i can just like a flight like a five ounces
we already know the one ounce so you just pick
four more ounces of like um Someone who really
loves herbal teas and maybe some greens in there.
Is this for a special lady? Um, it is, but like
festy. Oh, not like us. And they kind of laugh
and you know, they're like touchy. They're clearly
like this. So the colors I was trying to pull
out were the lesbian fly colors. Yeah. So totally
lesbian. Yes, lesbians doing their apothecary
thing. One of them looks kind of crunchy -munchy,
one of them's more like hippie -dippy, you know?
I mean, I would, but not with her. Not if I was
dying, or rather... They give each other a knowing
look, but they don't say anything else. They're
like... They're like, yes, she probably would
love this and that and was there anything else
that you need? Um, even if you get something
that could like help heal or help like, um, help
with poisons or anything like that. Uh, we have,
we have a lot of poison -y things. Yeah, we have
antitoxin. Yeah, can I just get some antitoxin
and - Would you like it in a vial or as like
a powder? Both. Uh, sure. How many of each? I'm
like, she's like in the mood to like treat herself.
Well, I'm like buy the barrel. I Okay, I would
maybe just want what like five things of each
or five. Five of each. Five portions. Yeah. Yeah,
they could do that for you. They pack it up.
The powder is like packed in like a little like
waxy leaves. Does that make sense to you? Like
you can like either bite off the end and kind
of pour it into your mouth. You can like open
it up and It's like you adjust it. Yeah, and
then And yeah, and then the vials are they're
they're like little they're little it's a small
it's a small dose and It's gonna be I think anti
-toxin is like I want to say it's like 20 gold
Each so if you bought 10, it's water. Okay They
have healing potions But it's just like the regular
ones like the 2d4 and they they are I Don't know.
I think I think the golden ring is like is it
50 or something like that? 50 gold each and they
have four of them so you know, there's a laundry
that's expensive I would like to do three anti
-toxins. Okay, and She's like she's like these
things and then just like sticker shock and like
realize like maybe i should calm down a little
bit you know i just had a really good night i
was trying to treat myself but i would like one
of the flowers maybe um i'm trying to think of
something dart would like um so three anti -toxins
i would like four of those small um or maybe
Show of those small healing things. Let's just
do two. Do they sell teas that make it taste
like bog water? Do you have bog water tea? Uh,
no, but, uh, we do have a, uh, a blooming bug
catcher tea. So it's a little ball of tea leaves
and you drop it into some, uh, some warm water
And like as it steeps it becomes this like it
becomes a tea that's irresistible to bugs so
like attracts bugs and she's like basically,
you know, you can do that to like keep bugs away
from your food or You know, whatever, but they'll
basically gather to drink the tea. Yeah, create
a bug trap Yeah, you need to make a bug trap
basically. So I want the flight of the one ounces
of herbal teas A bouquet of flowers for her,
if possible too, in a bestie way. You have to
insist in a bestie way. The non -gay bouquet.
For sure, yeah. It's not gay. Yeah, well, it's
the definitely not gay bouquet. For sure. Kim,
I... Well, no, I want to get the two antitoxins.
Sorry, there's so many things. I'm trying not
to support this small business. But that's somewhat
of a budget to heal into taxes and to bloom and
bug catching teams for the flight of keys. Plus
the flight is not expensive. Yeah, the team is
like a couple of silver each. So yeah, I mean,
just I'm going to say you should get to say 200
gold. Sounds like a yeah, you get whatever you
fucking want for tomorrow for the sake of wordplay
I think that you bought the not gay bouquet and
the platonic tonic. Oh, yeah Just a little not
good where it's not gay But yeah, so you do your
shopping is there any other other place you could
go You know It's like, you know, it's Probably
like, is there anything that you wanted to do
in town? Sorry. No, okay. So we advance the clock.
You guys kind of meet, you guys meet at the inn,
I assume. Yeah. So as you guys are like, you
guys, you know, you're wandering around town
or whatever and you guys kind of come together
and you're standing, you know, in front of the
inn you're about to go in. Dart and Rain both
feel a shift in their diplomats pouch. It's like
a buzzing. It's like a... Like normally you just
feel like a one sort of like, you know? And this
is like... Oh my god. We're getting actual wax
sealed? Oh, it's purple and totally wet. That's
right, right? I did it right. It's really awkward
to me that I just bought a signet ring. It's
so funny that you did that. Yeah, you just bought
a signet ring and it's funny because it's like...
Oh good, now I can sign this back. So yeah, you
guys pull out these very nicely pressed wax sealed
letters with mountains on the seal. And if they
feel a little bit tingly and magical in your
hands, do they know that it's gonna be opened?
We're gonna open it. I found that, like, going
through the side and going under deserves it
pretty well. So as you open it, like, it, like,
sparks and, like, the shimmery, shiny sparkle
and this, like, this, like... Sort of like shimmery
missile kind of like shoots up into the sky.
It's like it's silent, but it's really sparkly
and beautiful and and then like the like the
entire town like a 50 -foot radius around you
just sparkles with this like shimmering sort
of like illusionary glitter and And the clouds
start to like reform and And it writes like across
the sky the Sapphire Jubilee And then a like
rainbow shoots over it's like this big grand
illusion when you like open the open the invitation
I've never been so tempted to be as kingly as
possible as I have but this invitation Frank
was just like, yeah, I'll go to a party with
you. And I was like, you are their esteemed guest.
In order to accommodate a king as important as
myself, I'll need to stay in the Umbermoor parents'
suite. I'll be staying in your bedroom. You can
sleep on the couch. I'm coming into your house.
I was just thinking that this is the perfect
occasion I can finally wear the kingly silk robes
that I've had since like the third session of
the game. It's true. I'm going full king. Do
you want to say the idea that you shared with
me? I haven't told him. I think I'm not fully...
We were tossing around the idea of like when
the ball comes around maybe like... being a little
fancy having a little dress up session i feel
like you did mention this to me or she did i
said maybe um it does mean that i'm going to
have to order like a like a halloween costume
for like a king it's going to be like a scepter
but the whole thing Now, I would like to wear
a tiara. That's why I came up, because she asked
me if it was okay if you could wear a tiara if
I also wore the crown. Okay, cool. The crown
is like your thing. I'm like, I've lost one of
my crowns. You've had that crown since forever.
I mean, you remember the old crown? Yeah. It
was majestic and regal. Those dying days. Probably
around somewhere still. Probably. And you got
your letter, right? Um, the previous one. From?
From, yeah. Yeah, I got that. Any thoughts? Yes.
He just hadn't said anything about it. I - I
- Yeah. You don't have to, like - I can't respond
to it right now. You don't have to, like, respond.
I just didn't know if, like, you know, you wanted
to tell anybody else about it. She will, but
she hasn't seen her any yet. Oh, fair. you guys
just met up and when you guys met up they got
the oh it's like this happened and you see the
sparkles and the the sky right the sky right
spell goes off and it writes a sapphire jubilee
in the sky and there's a rainbow and you're like
god that's what those look like from the other
side yeah it's like kind of magical i don't know
wow We can say is that you met the notary off
-screen because they literally they just want
to like a signature So let's have like a witness
with them. Yeah And yeah, and it is a full annulment
like a complete never happen. Yeah It's like
outside of the normal parameters of time, but
it's like It's exceptional. Yeah, exceptional
circumstances and all that stuff. Yeah. Yeah,
so good. They're glad. They're so glad to get
that over with. Yeah, so now it's time for the
girlies to discuss. They are really, really hot.
You knew I was going to get this? No. I got a
note from your dad. Did you get an extra note
inside? No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, Zara's arrived, rolled
us, passed it us, um, our number one. That's
just a long name. But it like, that's a lot of
- that's a - that's a lot of names. My name is
longer than that. Oh shit. We'll get a second
one. I've had more time with me. Girl -makers
is really long. Yeah. But that's really nice.
Hmm? Doesn't look like you really want to. I
mean, really nice. I mean... I really like Zaurus.
I mean, I need to... If I really like Zaurus,
then he's gonna need to accept everything about
them. Right? I mean, Zaurus is my brother, so...
Right. What's your dad's name? Remu. R -E -N
-U. He's Count Remu. Count Count, yep. Count
Remu, but his first name is Remu. Like... maybe
not everything but i have to at least there's
some inevitability yes of course but i don't
know i don't want to do anything bad what do
you mean do anything i don't want to i want to
know who people are and like make sure i don't
embarrass myself in front of everyone i said
yes to going to a party and now i'm an esteemed
guest like i need to i need to figure shit out
so um Zebaria knows everyone who goes to the
ball is an invited guest. Yeah, everyone asks.
It's invite only. Well, yes, but it's like even
- But you're on Lord Zorah's estate. It's a little
different. Yeah. I will just say, try not to
overthink it too much. I know it's easier said
than done, but the people that go to the Sapphire
Jubilee, yeah. i feel like if anything they will
be very interested with all of us honestly it's
very rare that new people get invited like it
does happen but it's not all the time you know
i don't i don't think it will be as harsh as
you're thinking Okay, I mean it is a party. It's
not like yeah, it's a part like you're going
to see things people gonna get really trashed
Yeah, I'm assuming you're going to the after
party. So that's really when it's kind of free
for all I sent you my RSVP. Would you like me
to read it aloud? Sure dearest count Remu Umbermore
By the grace of Almighty Sylvanas and the honor
of our esteemed realms, I graciously acknowledge
your most noble invitation to the forthcoming
celebration. It is with profound pleasure and
regal delight that I accept your esteemed offer
and shall be in attendance to partake in the
merriment and festivities. May our gathering
be graced with joy, prosperity, and the exalted
company of distinguished guests. I eagerly await
the occasion to revel in the splendor of your
hospitality. Yours in noble service, King Dart
of the Hopkins, Lord of Bedegard, benevolent
ruler of Andorra. Amazing. Inspiration. I knew
I'd get that back. Without a doubt. And I give
you your case too. Oh, here, by the way. And
she pulls out the bag I'm holding, like here.
Like a not -gay bouquet and a botanic tonic.
It's not, it's not, you see the label. I can't
read. She can read, she's just not looking at
it. Okay, she gets it, she gets it. She has the
second thoughts. She'll have second thoughts
about the validity of it being straight later.
And she blushes. Aw. Just right now. Bestie gifts.
I like to give besties gifts. I'm sorry we snapped
at you yesterday. It was on hold for... Mm -hmm.
I understand. This has been such a crazy series
of events and it's been a crazy... Two months?
Mm -hmm. Oh, should I have been the last two
months? I'm not like... Yeah, I'll be going through
it. Every damn day. Every damn day. I'm still
here. you deserve this and she gives you tea
and flowers and a platonic tonic and it's pomegranate
like bubbly with mint and um pomegranate symbolism
shit it's well it was like i could buy it there
it's what i could buy there damn it is the lavender
one in here too They put lavender above her.
This is extremely gay. I let them pick. I figured
you'd like the lavender. I'm sorry, it says lover.
My friend lover. She's blushing even more. She
is. Thank you. Here Darn, here's your gifts.
It just like completely cuts you off. I heard
that this tea attracts bugs and you do it and
it blooms and then bugs come and it makes it
into a bug tea. And so I think it's maybe boggy.
I have some news myself. An ounce of bug tea?
Mm -hmm. No, you have two. Two ounces of bug
tea? Mm -hmm. I'm divorced. Okay, they came this
morning and I just signed some paperwork. Nothing
exciting. Okay, but you're official. Let's go
to the monitor. Alright, what are you, um, chairman?
And also, my husband. Or whatever it's called
here. I wonder if the yard is fine with you.
Yeah, tuned in. I'm glad what - you can give
it to yourself, but I'm glad that they were -
if you want me to know stuff, that's fine with
me. I don't mind you reading it, it's pretty
sweet of you. Excellent. No. Damn. You have any
other things? I mean - I know that's it. Do you
have more stuff? I don't have more stuff. I just
had a really good night in my room. In my room
by myself. Alone. You got yours taken up there.
Sorry. Don't worry. We didn't share a room at
all. How can we stay house? You were just that
loud. You were just that loud. Bro -self. Disadvantage.
What disadvantage? Fourteen. Fourteen? She heard
you. But it wasn't like, quite a bit loud, if
that makes sense. But you definitely heard me.
It's fine. It's fine. I can't read this all,
it's so long. I can't read it all right now.
It's okay. You can send it to the guy and he'll
read it later. So, Zabari, make an insight check.
Oh. 18. 18. There's something like a little unusual
about the letter. About which letter? From Zaris.
Oh. Now that you're looking at it again, you
notice that, like, um, his handwriting is different
in some places? And, um, yeah, I don't know,
you get just kind of, like, a little bit of a
tense vibe. Can I compare it to one of his previous
letters? Sure. Yeah. Um, well, it kind of won't
with that fear. Um... I don't know if this feature
would help, but I can... Copy the handwriting
of anybody that I sees. I don't know if that
would help with the nuances. I don't think it
does. Make an investigation check with advantage.
16 and then a 21. Yeah, there's like a couple.
So like, um, so his handwriting is just a little
inconsistent in places. Like there's a couple
of words that are written differently. Can I,
if I can see the words, they're written differently.
Can I like put them together? or like the letters
um read your letter again gosh oh no i have to
i have to actually do it do you want me to do
it do you want to send it to me so we both can
read your stuff wait it's just not normally how
like zaris writes like it seemed like when you
first read it you're like oh they're just emphasizing
words or whatever you know that's what i thought
too that's what samari actually thought that's
like going crazy interesting historical fact
The Oklahoma City bomber did not like the way
the phrase have your cake and eat it too was
phrased linguistically so he said it slightly
different and that was the clue that his brother
saw his like letters on TV and was like oh shit
my brother says that weird phrase like that.
That's how he got caught. Oh no. Oh damn. Oh.
Because people notice shit like that. It matters.
What? It says crazy spell truth. forbidden huh
there's a couple more there's a couple more oh
no oh wait wait wait there is more oh my god
there's weird shit in mine too that i just missed
it okay no crazy spell truth forbidden secret
maybe the emperor's you're skipping you're missing
one i'm missing one oh my god Third paragraph.
Oh, I missed it. Yeah Crazy spell truth. I can't
tell forbidden secret Yes, she is now she is
incredibly stressed out she doesn't know the
context of what this means, but she doesn't need
to to know that this is not a good situation.
What a great thing. That she feels for them like
they have - that there's so much pressure and
they just had like a really great night and like
didn't - didn't know. I just like was trying
to like let them blow off and spit it up. but
i feel like rain can't say shit like i feel like
rain wants to stay like the like you guys can
talk about like stuff but rain wants to stay
in the same space um so that xaris can be xaris
for a little bit like you can tell me whatever
you tell me we can pass things back and forth
and you can let them know that i know if you
want but i just I can't message them that, right?
Yeah, no, they've already agreed. You getting
involved is not, at this point in time, the right
call. No. Gotta keep being a dime piece, the
dime dame. It's okay. I got a message from Graham
earlier, basically telling me that the heart's
like, wasn't telling them everything. Mm -hmm.
Like, Zars have been partying a lot, but wasn't
saying why. Granted, we didn't know that Zars
had that meaning. Yeah. Which is unusual. Yeah.
But we knew. But we knew. Somebody had it. But
that's all good. Or does he trust his brain?
Oh, of course. Are you sure now? Yeah. I mean,
if there's some crazy spell, then he can't tell
the truth surrounding it. That's true. Yeah.
Saris. Saris's brain is just so sad. Like...
I literally just have my notes. OMG. Yeah. Exclamation
point. And me trying to figure this shit out
twice. Her secret code. Her like secret message
and... Yeah. She did this mentally and it took
her not nearly as long as it took me. Yeah, they
were already doing this right away. Yeah, she
knew. All along. It was me. I don't know what
to do with this information. I don't think I
should mention this to my father. Absolutely.
I don't think he should know. No. I think the
people that know now are the people that need
to know, which is us. Does Dart know? If Dart's
here with us and he heard her figure this all
out, I'm willing to say. What do I know? Are
you there with us? I assume so. Yeah, okay. I
assume at this point you guys are, you know,
you're getting ready to pack it in for day or
leave in the morning because you guys said you
were going to stick around one more day. What
did you learn? Your brother sent you a secret
message saying some big secret he can't tell
because there's a spell making him tell the truth?
Uh, no, the thing says crazy spell truth. I can't
tell forbidden secret. Oh, well, don't want me
to find out. Go there after we're done doing
this. We gotta figure out how to get you home,
Zavari. I know how. You know how? Yeah. How?
Don't worry about it. Oh, come on. You're gonna
tell her? Ever everything? I'll say, it's not
hard. Don't worry about it. It's definitely like,
she can be persuaded about it pretty easily.
Okay. So if you keep... But Brayden has decided
she wants to keep pushing it. Yeah. Me not worry
about it? Who the fuck? I thought we were besties.
Or on our way to be besties. I guess maybe I
don't know what our friendships are. I don't
know either. I thought we were getting close
in, like... To our future. What is that? It is
hard being a girl. What is... I... I... I'm trying,
Samari. Okay, that broke me, so you gotta leave.
I will tell you on one condition. I need you
to not judge me. If you don't think you can do
that, that's fine. But that is my one requirement.
So clearly, that something to do is to change.
That's the only thing I'm ever judging. And my
bloodline is where I come from. Oh, damn, that
shit. Yeah. That's what I believe anyway. Maybe
you should tell me. Can't. Can't. I feel like
that's been invalid. Can you withhold your judgment?
Oh, I can't. So I have to just... You have to
hop to the stand. Yeah, besides the player. Even
the dice said, mm -mm. Staying out of this. Rayna's
trying her hardest and she wants it. Like, she
wants to be better friends and be better connected.
So, like, she, like, breathes it out. And I'm
just like, okay. Okay. This... came to me in
a prayer, a vision of sorts. I was pretty much
thinking to myself, yes, what can I do to be
able to show home finally? And he made it crystal
clear to me that it's not a curse, this is a
test. And I've just been looking at it all wrong.
The test now is somebody that I love needs to
swear themselves jasmodious, in a way. They don't
need to join the church. They don't need to become
one of his warlocks. So you mean like how I do
when I accept his, like, dude, you don't love
me, so maybe not, but like, I'm just saying,
it's just, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh runs away from the dice and...
The roleplay is scalding hot. I'm like standing
in my hair. It's literally... Yeah, I mean, so...
It has to be somebody that I love, and there
are very few people that fit that requirement.
And this is something I was scared of at first,
but I think I get it now. To have somebody understand
me, even in my religion and my beliefs, that's
something important. And I think he's just helping
me drive myself there. And once that's done,
I can go home. He just breathes it out. That's
honestly a valid viewpoint. And I guess that
that's a healthy relationship, I suppose. I just,
yes. No, no justs. This is physically painful
for Rainy. It is. You want to go fishing? Yeah.
I do. Me too. I'm like really bad at this. I
just hear people start calling out at Modia's
randomly. This is girl's business and we're not
in it. Yeah, um, I think it was for listening.
A triad. Our drama was nothing compared to this.
This was insane. Thank you for sharing. Thank
you for listening. So it's your turn to talk.
She will awkwardly, slowly move in for a hug
if you will let it. Rain lets in. Friend hug.
Yeah. You get that dopamine rush from hugging
a friend. Historically best friends. Historically
so say. Rain knows now. Rain knows a lot now.
Rain feels the weight of the Umbermorsk Empire.
Oh, they're the Empire. Oh, they would be. like
what that's rain has the will of fire they're
going oh gotcha gotcha i realize what she wants
i realize that about rain is that like it's the
umbermore siblings the um like chaewyn is the
the daughter of like the Ember of the Quill,
Edmund is like the child of a baron. If she can't
change the things that are happening now, she
can change the future by aligning herself with
younger royalty or heirs or what have you. Or
frog kings, newly acquired frog kings. With leadership
you believe it. Reign shift on royalty because
of everyone. That's pretty big shift, honestly.
Yeah. Very profitable. That's awesome. So inspiration
for the girlies. I don't even know where the
hell my character is. You are also getting gay
inspiration. That's right. And so for gay inspiration,
you can re -roll one role for gayness. Gayism.
So Reign can make that inside check. Whenever
she wants to. It's always open. I feel like she's
not doing it right now because there's going
on. She just had a really good night. Yeah. You
guys look up from your super deep emotional conversation
and I'm just in the corner picking my toe trustees
and I'm like, what? Honestly, they do this all
the time. Like really like every other day. Drift
is filing his nails and talking to his ferret
familiar. What's his ferret's name? That's a
good question. Let's see here. So he's drifting
a leaf. So maybe his ferret would be... His parents
name is Splashing Sunlight, so it just calls
him Sonny. Yeah So yeah, he's talking to Sonny
and filing his nails and you know Generally keeping
his own business to himself. You see like there's
a guy who kind of is like He's got his head on
a swivel a little bit And then you like make
eye contact with him. I do? Yeah. He makes eye
contact with you. You make eye contact with him.
You can see he's like looking at you guys. We're
done now. Heads up. We've, we've, we hugged it
out. We're good. He blinks and he flashes snake
eyes at you. Oh. And then he like looks away.
Oh my god. I don't know if I'm gonna like this.
Literally, it's always like, I am so unnerved.
Shadow Viper is always there. Staring, blinking.
At your most vulnerable moments. Yeah. Totally
disinterested. Oh yeah, there you go, shit. Soft
-bellied emotions are boring. Understimulating.
Understimulating. I wish my wishes were under
stimulating God. It would be so much easier.
To him they're under stimulating. I wish I was
like that. But yeah, if there's anything else
you guys want to do before we close out the night,
in the morning you guys will head into the Wode.
Drift will tell you that he recommends that you
guys like stable your horses Yeah, that's how
I'm gonna get really dense and there is luckily
a stable here. We'll save Yeah, so the Yeah,
the stables are fortunes Philly and it's run
by a half -orc and his son and yeah, you know,
they'll be happy to board your horses and Get
an extra for Charlie big button And advise him
that he only eats rotting meat. Oh, okay. Well,
luckily, there's a butcher in town. Yeah, that's
fine. Yeah. And basically, so what you do is
you pay a deposit now, depending on how long
you have to hold your horses. It'll, you know,
help you pay again to get them out. But it's
not like, it's nothing that, like, adventurers
can't afford. Like, adventures such as yourselves.
So, yeah. I mean, if you guys are ready, you
can head. to the great woad where things are
surely to be great and woady. Yeah. And maybe
you will discover what happened to Dark's people
and what can be done as a result. Thank you for
listening to Roll Forth. This has been the Empire
Initiative featuring Samaria Hawkins as Lady
Zavari slash Lady Litria. Ryan Musgrove as King
Dart of the Hopkins, Rachel Voss as Rainn Vosgrove,
and our wonderful M .D. Shanahan, too. You know,
since we were invited to the Sapphire Jubilee,
we want to also invite you and your friends to
the Sapphire Jubilee, but that means they need
to know about us. to get to the Sapphire Jubilee.
So make sure you're telling your friends. I know
we've talked about this before. We're going to
talk about this again in a later future outro.
I already know. But please tell your friends,
tell everyone you know that might be interested
in some authentic disability and LGBTQ representation
in fantasy, in games, in our world. We would
love to have even more followers and more listeners
to this podcast. So please We invite you to invite
them. That would be great. And we also want to
make sure you're inviting yourself to fun things
as well. Like not, not unimpromptively, but like
something that you've been wanting to do lately.
Give yourself permission to go do it. Invite
yourself to go do to that fun thing. Cause you
deserve it. And you know, while you're there,
please stay safe friends. Why does everybody
think I know who's getting invites? It's really
embarrassing. Look at the whole sky.