Hey guys, it's me again.
So I told you that I was going to do another episode telling you about the second guy I
dated to show you how I learned lessons from the first guy but I really didn't.
You'll see what I mean.
Listen to episode 5 before listening to this as you will then understand.
You'll need to hear it prior to.
So the second guy I've dated.
Same thing.
Quite attractive, has the money, owns a successful company, the cars, the houses, the clothes, everything
Right?
The same shit.
Has it all.
I don't know what I was doing to attract the same type of men.
They were all the same!
I had a brief moment where a little voice in my head said to
Maybe, just maybe try the opposite next go round lol. I ignored that too.
So we started dating.
Three years later, he asks me to move in.
At the time, I was living in my house. I had to find a renter if I was going to take him up on his offer and move in together. Selling the house was not an option so I found a renter.
The renter loved the placed, signed a lease but couldn't move in until a month down the road.
And I was ok with that.
That gave me time to pack at my own accord. Just
like that.
So I moved in with guy number two.
After our first night together, I woke the next morning and noticed he has a beer in hand and it's 730 in the morning.
I thought, oh, maybe he's just excited, right?
Because he may still be celebrating that this is a big milestone, right?
Moving in with one another is a big move.
So I thought, okay, he's still celebrating whatever.
I didn't say anything.
The second morning I rise and noticed a beer in hand and it's 8 o'clock in the morning.
So, now I'm thinking, okay, seriously there's something fucking wrong here.
I don't like this.
Like I'm not feeling really happy about this
Didn't say anything.
The third morning, same fucking thing happened and that's when I spoke up and said, listen, we need
to sit down.
And talk about something.
He sat, and I said very calmly, that
I think it was premature to move in and think
He has things to work through.
With a blank look on his face he
Asks, "what's going on"? Why would you say that?
He seemed clueless! I simply said I don't care for seeing booze in hand for breakfast.
For the last 3 days at 7 or 8am all I've seen you do for breakfast is drink beer.
Is there something I need to know?
Don't tell me you're still celebrating.
What's going on?
Is this you?
Is this something I never noticed, I never paid attention to?
Why didn't you tell me about having a drinking problem?
Or whatever you happen to be battling?
His response, "it's nothing, man".
I'm fine.
I said, no, this is not fine.
I'm not living with someone who has to drink at fucking 7.30 in the morning,
Now he owned his own company, we both were working from home and maybe I didn't see it
because I wasn't around when I had to go to the office and this was way pre-COVID.
If anybody's thinking that, it's way, way pre-COVID.
And I'm thinking, oh my God, am I with an alcoholic?
What the fuck is going on here?
First, I get a guy that tells me he's fucking married for 20 years.
And now this guy that can't fucking put a drink down.
What the fuck is going on?
So I looked at him and I said,
I think it's best if I move back to my place.
I don't think I want to live in this.
If you have something to deal with, deal with it.
You'll feel good.
Just deal with it.
Don't drag me into it because I have nothing to do with that.
I shouldn't have to go through your ups and downs with you because you're not or haven't dealt
with whatever is ailing you.
I"m out.
You must put yourself first!
First!
Single moms.
Single dads.
It's crucial to put yourself first.
First.
I repeat...first!
Put yourself still first.
No ego.
Just be your authentic self.
I'm tired of saying that, but we all need reminders.
If you don't take care of yourself, who will?
Be leaders, not followers.
If you don't take care of your bodies and your minds and you have children, how are
you going to be strong for your children? Let's raise leaders, not followers.
You know what I mean?
So anyway, now this one's got a fucking drinking problem.
So, I'm outta here. Grateful I have somewhere to go.
In my mind it was already over.
Thank God I haven't unpacked everything I had.
So, the packing begins and I'm moving back to my place.
Right?
He fucking lost it.
Holy shit.
I thought he was going to beat the crap out of me.
I really did.
I finally had to calm his ass down and say, whoa.
I held his hands and calmly caressed his face to keep him calm
It worked.
He finally calmed down and when he did I told him I was going for a walk
to clear my head. While out, I call 3 friends who have trucks
And told them to be over in 2 hours
I rose off the couch, put my boots on and walked out locking the door behind me. While out, I called 3 buddies who have trucks and told them to be over in 2 hours as I'm moving back home and need their help.
I returned 2 hours later and couldn't get in to the unit.
Thought maybe I used the wrong key.
Tried the other key and it didn't work.
I only had 2 keys
He changed the fucking locks!
He changed the locks and he had all my clothes and furniture in there
Like what the fuck?
Is this guy for real?
Stunned! Was not expecting this...at all!
Long story short, I ended up having to call the police.
They arrived and he wouldn't .
Let them in.
He knew his rights.
What the hell?
Has this guy's pulled this trick before or what?
The police had to get a warrant to let them and me in
Finally, after a couple of hours we finally get access and I begin packing quickly lol
All I hear while packing are threats from him. I'm fucking going to come after you.
I'm going to dot, dot, dot
The police are trying to calm him down.
Nothing's working.
He had no problems letting it all go.
I had just realized, I had no idea who
this person is
So, I continue to pack in shock
My buddies show up, thankfully
And they begin moving my belongings out listening to my ex throw threat after threat
I just let it go in one ear and out the other
The more he opened his mouth, the more I knew I was making the right decision to get out of there
I couldn't stop thinking, "this guy is an alcoholic"! I didn't see it!
For the past three years!
What the hell?
He's a fucking full blown alcoholic.
I need to get out of here.
This is HIS shit to deal with and he's not taking me down with him.
And remember, I'm a single parent.
If I haven't said that in my other episodes, I am a single parent.
So I'm not interested in bringing shit like that into my fucking house for my child to
take on.
What's he or she got to do with it?
Right?
They don't know that person and ask to have them in their life
They didn't ask to be put in that situation.
You see what I'm saying?
So no.
Anyway, they're all on standby.
My 3 buddies were working hard and fast.
We loaded everything!
I threw things together and they
Moved the boxes and bags out and loaded it all up
Next thing I know
I'm on my way home and in shock
Took a couple of days off work, explained to my boss, I had something to deal with
I feel like I've just walked through the twilight zone.
I don't know what happened and how did I not see this?
Why would I allow this?
Why did I ignore my intuition? Why did I ignore other signs?
Right?
Back to questioning me again.
Finally, I was ready to go to work.
Thinking it was all over. I opened my front door as transit was on its way
And saw him crunched over on my front step highly inebriated.
It's around 6 AM.
Slurring how much he loves and misses me
Utter shock!
Who is this guy?
What the fuck is going on?
Why is this happening?
I told him to leave
He started with the I miss you bullshit
I went into the house.
Locked the door
And called the police
I now knew this guy is not all there
If it hadn't clicked in yet
I was now scared for me
And for my child
The police show up, handcuff him,
He had a nice sleep in
The drunk tank
For the night
A couple of days later
I open the front door to head to work
And low and behold,
Back on my front step in the
Exactly same state he was in a couple of days earlier
The only difference, he
Was passed out cold. I slipped by and ran to the bus stop lol
He stayed on that front step for a fucking week.
I couldn't believe it.
As time went by, I ended having to leave out the side door of my house
Because he wouldn't leave me alone
It's clear he was depended on me
And he wasn't comfortable being alone.
Long story short,
I ended up getting a restraining order on the guy.
And that was that.
After many years later,
I find out, from my sister, they have been fucking emailing.
Back and forth for a while
How the hell did they get each other's email addresses? When? How did I miss this?
What the fuck is going on?
Yeah, after I found that out from my sister, trust was destroyed for good!
I don't trust her! Not one fucking iota.
And don't give a shit about removing her from my life.
Over my 50s now and know my worth, and I have boundaries!
Period!
Fuck you, motherfucker.
I don't give a shit who the fuck you are in my life.
I don't care if you're my parent.
If you mistreat me, I'm done. It's so freeing as you get older and learn your worth!
I understand if I steal my parents car
Crash it, I have no license, something like that.
You know what I mean?
Ground me, whatever. There's consequences - should be anyway.
I would write off my fucking parents in an instant if disrespected
So to find out my sister swapped emails with my ex and has been communicating
back and forth?
What the fuck?
Oh, she's reaping her karma now.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
She's now getting what she put out.
You get what you give!
So many questions running through my mind. I thought I was going crazy!
A fucking alcoholic dealing with my sister, having move out
Only after 3 days of moving in
Good Lord!
I feel bad for the person who was going to rent my place that he no longer could
And explained why.
I had signs from the universe during the past 3 years, and ignored them.
I saw them, but ignored them all
Oh my God!
Even when we were just dating and not living with each other, we would go out for dinner
and he'd rip through a bottle of wine and I thought, nothing of it.
I noticed it.
I saw it with my own two eyes, but I ignored it.
So number two is down.
I ended up having to get a restraining order on him.
That was that.
Never saw him until probably about 6 years later lol. He resurfaces and
Found out he got married.
He had a couple of kids. One boy, one girl.
His family was judgmental. The sisters were not worst!
Ugh!.
I couldn't stand his fucking sisters.
Oh my God!
I hated their energy.
Very judgmental.
Very, ugh, yuck.
Parents were really nice.
They lived on a very beautiful, cared for farm
They've done very well for themselves.
Their house was really beautiful, and the surrounding land was very well manicured.
So, he calls me one day to get together. Hmm, my guard was up and now paying attention to all of his actions.Now his parents have disowned him.
We get together to only find out his parents have disowned him. His mother alone instructed her husband (his father) to not let him on their property.
So, he's gone from having a successful company...everything to losing it all along with his dignity. Why?
Because he refuses
To learn lessons
Right?
Apparently he's divorced now.
His daughter doesn't want to have anything to do with him
He reached out to me for money. LOL
For money!
This guy owned his own company and had money coming out of the wazoo.
Where did it all go?
What happened to it?
When did you lose it?
How did you lose it?
Later to find out it's gambling.
So we got another habit going on here.
Isn't that fucked up?
You think you know somebody after three years.
So I get home, unpack, start questioning myself.
Have to go through the whole fucking shit all over again of forgiving myself.
Why did you let this happen again?
Not for the first time, but again!
What the fuck is the matter with me?
All sex based again?
All illusions again?
All lies again?
What the fuck?
When am I going to fucking get it?
So, it's time...again
Time to go through the healing process again
Right?
It's not easy.
Because when you go through things like that, the first thing that comes out of my mouth
is what the fuck?
Am I stupid, or what?
By the way, don't speak to yourself in a negative tone. NEVER!
The universe is listening.
Be kind to yourself.
Back to knowing your worth and loving yourself.
Back then, I was talking to myself in a negative tone as I was not learning my lessons and becoming quite frustrated with the dating process
I can't believe I just fucking did that again.
What the hell is the matter with me?
Seriously, what is fucking wrong with me?
I did it to myself again.
The next episode of guy #3 gets the trophy.
This is the one that finished me right off. I was forced by the Universe and felt it to move on
The Universe spoke and I had no option but to listen. 310
Look forward to sharing this one with you.
The well needed and
Deserved change.
Anyway,
Until then
I love you.