1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:07,900 Warning. You have just wandered into the unpopular playground arena, a unique space specifically 2 00:00:07,900 --> 00:00:13,860 designed for young adults and those soon becoming where curiosity meets unconventional learning 3 00:00:13,860 --> 00:00:19,720 and dialogue with brutal honesty. If you're a bold and daring rebel who wants more options 4 00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:29,840 on your life journey than you have now, keep listening. Welcome Jen Lin. 5 00:00:29,840 --> 00:00:38,280 Welcome back to the unpopular playground. This is Jen Lin and in this episode we're going to talk about 6 00:00:38,280 --> 00:00:49,520 how much you matter and we're going to prioritize your support and making connections that matter. 7 00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:59,000 There's three points that I want to talk about and that is the fact that a lot of young people, 8 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:08,000 teenagers and adults are unwelcome. All of the empty spaces and our space are going to talk about 9 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:18,080 what it's like that there's a place for you with us. So first of all, unwelcome, a lot of you are 10 00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:28,080 unwelcome by society. Teenagers and young adults are not made to feel welcome. Many are marginalized, 11 00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:39,560 excluded, made to feel unsafe and unwelcome. A lot of judgments, bullying and a lot of it is based on 12 00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:50,800 appearances, personal interests, lack of experience and simply the background which leads to isolation. 13 00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:56,800 They're in a world of their own because they're not welcome. They're too old. They're a young 14 00:01:56,800 --> 00:02:03,360 person listening to this. You know the feeling. You're a teenager and young adult. You're often too 15 00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:12,600 old to be a child and participate in those activities and you're not old enough to participate in 16 00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:21,480 adulting. Even if you're 18, even if you're 21, you're still not old enough. Most people can't 17 00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:30,080 even rent a car until they're 25 and you're not taken seriously until you're maybe in your 30s. 18 00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:37,560 There just doesn't seem to be a place for you and a lot of you are discriminated against. You 19 00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:46,080 have your typical discriminations that are illegal, skin color, hair color. Well that can always be 20 00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:53,440 changed. Maybe no hair. Maybe that can't be changed at all. So many things but what's not 21 00:02:53,440 --> 00:03:02,120 discussed a lot is the elephant in the room and that is socioeconomics and that's the driving force 22 00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:10,120 that motivates a lot of people to change it because let's be honest, we can't get anywhere 23 00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:17,320 without money. Money drives the world and if you don't have it, you don't get to be in the club, 24 00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:27,240 you don't get to participate. You will be excluded. Some of those effects are academic, 25 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:36,160 limited resources, no technology, low technology, school quality, underfunded, increased class sizes. 26 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:42,480 I don't know how that goes and how does that make us feel? We're stressed out, high anxiety, 27 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:52,320 which all of this and along with poor nutrition, that's going to create medical issues, mental 28 00:03:52,320 --> 00:04:00,440 health issues that often go untreated in the classroom. It's spilled out into behavioral 29 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:08,080 challenges with stress and anxiety and poor nutrition. That's an elevation of cortisol and 30 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:17,960 insulin which leads to the rise in obesity of a lot of our children turning into teenagers and 31 00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:26,040 young adults and society and it just the cycle just repeats and that leads to social isolation 32 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:33,320 because there's a stigma on your status, your socioeconomic status. If you don't have what 33 00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:41,640 the cool kids have, then you're often isolated. Even in your lunches, they discriminate against 34 00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:51,480 everything. Kids want to be long and have their thing and if they can exclude somebody, they will 35 00:04:51,480 --> 00:05:01,160 because it's a competition. There's a pecking order. If you don't have something, your social, 36 00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:09,320 your lack of money status is often what will put you out of the club because you're not going to be 37 00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:16,520 able to have the things that they do to identify you as belonging. That's why a lot of people join 38 00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:23,640 gangs because there's a certain sense of belonging there. I'm not talking about the gangsters on 39 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:29,480 the street, though that does happen. People end up forming their own little gangs and they're called 40 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:38,040 cliques. A lot of these things reduce future opportunities, reduce access, employment challenges 41 00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:45,800 for stable and well-paying employment. That's what this whole thing about school preparation and 42 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:53,400 all of the status, what it's all about, right? So that you can be able to have what you want 43 00:05:53,960 --> 00:06:02,280 and live a good life and be successful. Very often, the cycle of poverty often just keeps 44 00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:08,280 churning because of all of these things. A great many of these things. It's not exclusive, 45 00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:15,320 but it's also not limited to these things. Just because you might have money, just because you're 46 00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:21,640 rich doesn't mean that you're immune from being isolated as well. If you're out of your zone and 47 00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:26,920 you stand out, people will they'll isolate you because you have money. If you're the only one, 48 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:34,760 if you're very few because you're not like them. So it can go both ways. And then you have work 49 00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:43,720 places. Well, at least for the young adult crew. The availability of work spaces for young teens 50 00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:51,640 is somewhat dwindled. Many people do not hire anybody under 18 because they just don't want to 51 00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:59,400 deal with the child labor laws. So good luck, kids, with that. But you can definitely get creative and 52 00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:07,240 we can definitely explore those opportunities that you can create for yourself in another episode. 53 00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:14,600 If you're having problems finding employment under 18, if you're in high school, put it in the chat. 54 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:22,360 Let's talk about it. But generally, workplaces, if you are lucky enough to find one, even young 55 00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:31,400 adults, heck, all adults, they're having a hard time finding a job one or another. Even as you get 56 00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:40,840 older in the workforce, then you get pushed out because you're too old. Ageism. So it's really 57 00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:48,280 everywhere. The discrimination. And you have workplaces, like I said, lack of mentorship, 58 00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:56,200 lack of respect, young people are exploited. And your contributions are not valued or taken 59 00:07:56,200 --> 00:08:03,000 or taken seriously. Then you have cultural gaps. They don't respect your values, your perspective. 60 00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:11,720 There's strict expectations for you to conform. Traditional roles, sacrifice, you're, in order 61 00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:18,200 to conform to those, you're forced to sacrifice your identity with who you are, your personality, 62 00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:24,280 and your self-expression. And don't forget the clubs and the sports teams. A lot of times, 63 00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:30,920 you're not welcomed there either because they have the good old boy club. And they're often overly 64 00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:37,240 competitive in those places because they need their spots and they don't want to give them up. 65 00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:45,080 And if you, you might not be aware of all of your talents and everything that you have, 66 00:08:45,080 --> 00:08:54,920 your natural abilities, but if you appear to have more talent than them, they're not even going to 67 00:08:54,920 --> 00:09:00,600 let you in. And you're not going to have any idea why. But it's because they're threatened by you 68 00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:09,000 and your excitement. And they're real comfortable with where they're at in both workplaces and 69 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:15,880 the clubs, the teams, and your little social groups, your little cliques are that way too. 70 00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:27,400 So that's that. Now you have your empty spaces. And I call them empty spaces because 71 00:09:28,440 --> 00:09:35,560 it's, there's nowhere else for you to go. If you can't, if you're not welcome and decide by society 72 00:09:35,560 --> 00:09:41,320 in general is what it seems like. That's what I've noticed. Where are you going to hang out? 73 00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:50,600 So many of the main hangout places have been taken away. When I was younger, we hung out in 74 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:59,320 arcades, record stores, the roller rink, drive-ins, movie theaters, parks, malls, theme parks, and 75 00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:04,600 bookstores in the library. But a lot of those have been taken away. A lot of them are really 76 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:11,640 obsolete. There's no more stand-up arcades, no more record stores because everybody streams 77 00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:18,200 very few drive-ins. A lot of eating places, a lot of diners, they don't, they don't permit 78 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:23,880 people to hang out for too long. They weren't. I think there's a few roller rinks. There's just 79 00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:32,920 there's not a thing like it was. Skate parks, I'm not so sure. But basically a lot of them 80 00:10:32,920 --> 00:10:39,800 are anti-lordy. If they're still around today, they're anti-lordy. They want you to buy your stuff 81 00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:48,840 and go. Hashtag unwelcome. So my thought is how can you even begin to assimilate into a world 82 00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:54,920 that is seemingly keeping you back and pushing you back from even being in it? 83 00:10:54,920 --> 00:11:03,480 And then you have your empty spaces that I've been thinking about. It reminds me of empty 84 00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:12,120 calories. And that's where I get that. And what it is is the spaces that give short-term energy 85 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:19,240 and they don't fill you up. And that will be, so if you're not a lot of hanging out in these places, 86 00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:25,400 you're going to hang out in abandoned buildings, maybe adult venues, clubs, bars. If you're a 87 00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:31,400 teenager trying to sneak into the clubs and the bars, online spaces, you're trying to get into 88 00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:39,720 those groups with the fake toxic comparing and the luxury brand obsessing with trying to give 89 00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:46,200 an image of a life that you don't have so that you can feel like you belong somewhere. And then 90 00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:53,560 constantly changing yourself, somebody that you're not to conform to somebody else's idea, 91 00:11:54,120 --> 00:12:00,920 even book choices, whatever you're doing, anything to belong. It's not lasting. 92 00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:07,080 Everyone needs belonging though. Belonging and understanding. And it's so sad that many are 93 00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:15,800 so desperate to find it as to sacrifice who you are as a person or that you get so fed up that 94 00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:23,400 you self-isolate because it's much easier to protect what's left. Either choice leaves generations 95 00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:30,920 upon generations unfulfilled before they even start. And that leads me to the final point, 96 00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:40,600 our space. Here at the end, popular playground. We want to have a space for you where you matter. 97 00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:46,840 There's so many matter movements. This matters, that matters, hashtag this matters. Well, you know 98 00:12:46,840 --> 00:12:55,480 what? Here you matter. Hashtag you matter. And all of what I wanted to share based on the other 99 00:12:55,480 --> 00:13:02,680 first two points, creating the space for us, for our space, our league, and in our own league, 100 00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:11,480 where you can be the real you as you are. So if any of this is resonating with you, 101 00:13:11,480 --> 00:13:17,960 you definitely belong in our space. Here on the unpopular playground, follow and subscribe 102 00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:25,160 on whatever platform you may be listening on. But if you've not done so, you definitely want to 103 00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:32,440 migrate over to YouTube, especially that's going to be our main channel where we can 104 00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:40,600 grow and hang out here, have our community discussions here, and as well as the private 105 00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:46,600 spaces that we create for things that probably, and discussions that probably would not be allowed 106 00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:56,360 on YouTube, because it seems that everything is offensive and I don't want to have my YouTube 107 00:13:56,360 --> 00:14:07,400 channel demonetized and shut down. Meanwhile, I did find some places where people, young people 108 00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:14,600 specifically, and young adults can hang out where they are hanging out. And I'm seeing it for myself. 109 00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:21,560 I see a lot of people in fitness clubs, the sports clubs, and there, believe it or not, 110 00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:29,080 there are some malls still out there. And coffee shops, and I'm not talking about Starbucks here, 111 00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:40,920 there's a lot of really cool, quaint, very homey coffee shops where I see a lot of young people 112 00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:46,680 hanging out and they're welcoming them. They're welcoming you. Libraries, it's not like how it 113 00:14:46,680 --> 00:14:52,520 was when I was in the library where you can't talk. Libraries had to be hush-hush, but now even 114 00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:59,320 libraries seem to be a little bit of a community center. Gaming lounges and music concerts. So 115 00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:04,120 those might be some helpful places to start if you don't have a place to hang out with your friends. 116 00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:12,680 If you can't hang out at home, these might be some places for you. Some kind of iffy would be the 117 00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:21,000 park recreations, community centers, and I would say air quote youth clubs. You might, I mean, 118 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:28,920 even though it says they welcome teenagers and young people, I was never attracted to them 119 00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:36,520 because to me they were over-regulated. They just, there always had to be an activity going on. 120 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:44,680 I mean, it's nice to have that to bond or whatever, but I think that, well, I take that back. I know 121 00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:54,200 that everyone, but especially teenagers and young adults, need a place to hang out where you can just 122 00:15:54,200 --> 00:16:02,680 unwind and not do anything and just enjoy each other's company and talk about whatever you talk 123 00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:11,800 about. So look there. I've run out of time. I am all done and I hope that you join me in the next 124 00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:22,840 episode. Take care and stay curious. This is Jen Lynn and Jen Lynn has now left the arena. 125 00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:31,560 You've been listening to the unpopular playground. Thanks for tuning in. If you enjoyed today's 126 00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:37,560 episode, please make sure to subscribe for more thought-provoking conversations. We'd love your 127 00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:43,640 feedback, so drop a comment and let us know your thoughts. Don't forget to share this podcast with 128 00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:49,640 another bold and brave friend who might appreciate our adventurous journey together. And remember 129 00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:57,480 to return next Wednesday for our next episode, if you dare. And as always, stay curious. There's 130 00:16:57,480 --> 00:17:03,480 so much more to explore.