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Hey everyone, welcome to the show. Have you ever

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thought about all the things that go unspoken

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in families? The silences, the figures who just

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vanish, leaving these echoes behind them? Yeah,

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it's fascinating, isn't it? It's like trying

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to solve a puzzle where some of the pieces are

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deliberately missing. It's like trying to figure

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out who you are by piecing together these like

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fragments of lives that were almost, I don't

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know, deliberately obscured or something. And

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that's what makes the memoir we're discussing

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today, Missing Men by Joyce Johnson, so powerful,

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I think. Memoirs are great for that kind of exploration,

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aren't they? They give you such a personal perspective

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on these big universal themes. Totally. And Missing

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Men is all about Johnson trying to understand

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these two like pivotal figures in her life. Her

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grandfather, Samuel, who she never even met.

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And then later her partner, Jim Johnson. And

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both of them gone, leaving these holes in her

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life. Exactly. And the book is about how their

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absence, you know, like resonated throughout

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her life and really kind of shaped her family's

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whole trajectory. The title itself, Missing Men

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is so evocative, isn't it? It speaks to the literal

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absence of these men, but also maybe to a missing

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piece in Johnson's own understanding of herself,

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her history. Oh, I agree. It's incredibly skillful

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how she weaves together these fragmented memories.

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It's very much like how we try to remember the

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past, right? Not as this like neat linear story,

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but through these flashes and impressions. It's

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almost like she invites you, the listener, to

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participate in that reconstruction process. And

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here's where it gets even more interesting, right?

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The book hints at this like undercurrent of family

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secrets. Maybe even trauma. You get this feeling

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of something unspoken hanging over everything.

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There's this one part about the burning of her

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grandfather's writings. It's so potent, you know,

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you can almost feel those buried stories trying

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to get out. Did that resonate with you at all?

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Absolutely. That image of the burned writings

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is so powerful. It makes you ask, what was being

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hidden and why? Was it shame, fear? a need to

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protect something. And how did that act of erasing

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the past impact the generations that came after,

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even if they didn't know the full story? It's

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like what stories in our own families have been,

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I don't know, lost or deliberately hidden, you

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know? It really makes you think. Makes you think

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about the silences in your own life. OK, so shifting

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gears a little bit. Another thing I found fascinating

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was the book's depiction of the New York City

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art scene in the 1960s, where Johnson's life

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intersected with a gym and all these other artists.

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It's like this vibrant backdrop to her personal

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story. How did you see that interplay between

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the personal and the cultural? I think it's essential.

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It shows that our lives aren't lived in isolation.

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Right. Johnson's personal journey is intertwined

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with the artistic and social movements of her

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time. And that wider context. gives us, I think,

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a much richer understanding of her experiences.

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Definitely. Now, I think it's fair to say that

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there are some aspects of the book that might

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be challenging for some readers. The narrative

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itself, like those memories we were talking about,

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is a little fragmented. It's not always a straightforward,

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linear story. What are your thoughts on that?

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Well, I think that nonlinear structure is both

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a strength and a potential, I don't know. stumbling

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block you know it it does mirror the way memory

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actually works that difficulty of trying to make

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sense of the past but some listeners might crave

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a more traditional structure something with clearer

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chronological markers did you feel that way at

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all i did actually and that kind of leads into

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another point the memoir leaves you with some

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like lingering questions these unresolved mysteries

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particularly about her grandfather it reflects

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the reality of trying to piece together a life

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from the past sure but some readers might want

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i don't know more concrete answers I think that

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open -endedness is often a characteristic of

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good memoirs, particularly the ones that genuinely

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grapple with the uncertainties of the past. Life

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doesn't always give us neat resolutions, right?

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Maybe Johnson leaving some things unresolved

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is a reflection of that reality. It definitely

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makes you think. For sure. So for our listeners,

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what does this all mean? Missing Men gives us

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this really compelling, introspective look at

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how absence can shape our lives, both individually

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and as families. It's the kind of book that stays

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with you, makes you think about the untold stories

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in your own family's past. It's not really about

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finding all the answers, but more about the importance

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of trying to understand. I think it encourages

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us to listen to those silences, to pay attention

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to the gaps in the stories we tell ourselves,

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and to realize how much we can be influenced

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by those who are no longer physically present.

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It also makes us think about how we construct

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our own personal histories from incomplete information.

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So, considering all of that, I would give Missing

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Men a strong 4 out of 5 stars. It's beautifully

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written. It really makes you think. And it explores

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memory and absence in such a profound way, even

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though it doesn't always give you easy answers.

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I think that's a very fair rating. It acknowledges

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the book's literary strengths and its ability

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to provoke thought, but also recognizes that

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the structure and open -endedness might not be

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for everyone. So if this deep dive into missing

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men has made you curious about these themes of

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memory, absence, and family secrets, we'd love

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it if you'd hit that like and subscribe button.

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You can find a link to the book on Amazon in

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the description below if you'd like to explore

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it further. Memoirs like this give us a chance

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to reflect on these shared human experiences

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and to consider the complexities of our own family

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histories. thanks for joining us for this deep

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dive into missing men if you've already read

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the book we'd love to hear what stood out to

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you what resonated or even what questions it

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left you with share your thoughts in the comments

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below and feel free to share this episode with

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anyone who you think might be interested we'll

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see you next time on the deep dive