Hey everyone, welcome to the show. Have you ever
thought about all the things that go unspoken
in families? The silences, the figures who just
vanish, leaving these echoes behind them? Yeah,
it's fascinating, isn't it? It's like trying
to solve a puzzle where some of the pieces are
deliberately missing. It's like trying to figure
out who you are by piecing together these like
fragments of lives that were almost, I don't
know, deliberately obscured or something. And
that's what makes the memoir we're discussing
today, Missing Men by Joyce Johnson, so powerful,
I think. Memoirs are great for that kind of exploration,
aren't they? They give you such a personal perspective
on these big universal themes. Totally. And Missing
Men is all about Johnson trying to understand
these two like pivotal figures in her life. Her
grandfather, Samuel, who she never even met.
And then later her partner, Jim Johnson. And
both of them gone, leaving these holes in her
life. Exactly. And the book is about how their
absence, you know, like resonated throughout
her life and really kind of shaped her family's
whole trajectory. The title itself, Missing Men
is so evocative, isn't it? It speaks to the literal
absence of these men, but also maybe to a missing
piece in Johnson's own understanding of herself,
her history. Oh, I agree. It's incredibly skillful
how she weaves together these fragmented memories.
It's very much like how we try to remember the
past, right? Not as this like neat linear story,
but through these flashes and impressions. It's
almost like she invites you, the listener, to
participate in that reconstruction process. And
here's where it gets even more interesting, right?
The book hints at this like undercurrent of family
secrets. Maybe even trauma. You get this feeling
of something unspoken hanging over everything.
There's this one part about the burning of her
grandfather's writings. It's so potent, you know,
you can almost feel those buried stories trying
to get out. Did that resonate with you at all?
Absolutely. That image of the burned writings
is so powerful. It makes you ask, what was being
hidden and why? Was it shame, fear? a need to
protect something. And how did that act of erasing
the past impact the generations that came after,
even if they didn't know the full story? It's
like what stories in our own families have been,
I don't know, lost or deliberately hidden, you
know? It really makes you think. Makes you think
about the silences in your own life. OK, so shifting
gears a little bit. Another thing I found fascinating
was the book's depiction of the New York City
art scene in the 1960s, where Johnson's life
intersected with a gym and all these other artists.
It's like this vibrant backdrop to her personal
story. How did you see that interplay between
the personal and the cultural? I think it's essential.
It shows that our lives aren't lived in isolation.
Right. Johnson's personal journey is intertwined
with the artistic and social movements of her
time. And that wider context. gives us, I think,
a much richer understanding of her experiences.
Definitely. Now, I think it's fair to say that
there are some aspects of the book that might
be challenging for some readers. The narrative
itself, like those memories we were talking about,
is a little fragmented. It's not always a straightforward,
linear story. What are your thoughts on that?
Well, I think that nonlinear structure is both
a strength and a potential, I don't know. stumbling
block you know it it does mirror the way memory
actually works that difficulty of trying to make
sense of the past but some listeners might crave
a more traditional structure something with clearer
chronological markers did you feel that way at
all i did actually and that kind of leads into
another point the memoir leaves you with some
like lingering questions these unresolved mysteries
particularly about her grandfather it reflects
the reality of trying to piece together a life
from the past sure but some readers might want
i don't know more concrete answers I think that
open -endedness is often a characteristic of
good memoirs, particularly the ones that genuinely
grapple with the uncertainties of the past. Life
doesn't always give us neat resolutions, right?
Maybe Johnson leaving some things unresolved
is a reflection of that reality. It definitely
makes you think. For sure. So for our listeners,
what does this all mean? Missing Men gives us
this really compelling, introspective look at
how absence can shape our lives, both individually
and as families. It's the kind of book that stays
with you, makes you think about the untold stories
in your own family's past. It's not really about
finding all the answers, but more about the importance
of trying to understand. I think it encourages
us to listen to those silences, to pay attention
to the gaps in the stories we tell ourselves,
and to realize how much we can be influenced
by those who are no longer physically present.
It also makes us think about how we construct
our own personal histories from incomplete information.
So, considering all of that, I would give Missing
Men a strong 4 out of 5 stars. It's beautifully
written. It really makes you think. And it explores
memory and absence in such a profound way, even
though it doesn't always give you easy answers.
I think that's a very fair rating. It acknowledges
the book's literary strengths and its ability
to provoke thought, but also recognizes that
the structure and open -endedness might not be
for everyone. So if this deep dive into missing
men has made you curious about these themes of
memory, absence, and family secrets, we'd love
it if you'd hit that like and subscribe button.
You can find a link to the book on Amazon in
the description below if you'd like to explore
it further. Memoirs like this give us a chance
to reflect on these shared human experiences
and to consider the complexities of our own family
histories. thanks for joining us for this deep
dive into missing men if you've already read
the book we'd love to hear what stood out to
you what resonated or even what questions it
left you with share your thoughts in the comments
below and feel free to share this episode with
anyone who you think might be interested we'll
see you next time on the deep dive