WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.480 Hey, everyone. Welcome to the show. I don't know 00:00:02.480 --> 00:00:04.519 about you, but have you ever felt that like really 00:00:04.519 --> 00:00:09.019 just chilling grip of fear? You know, that feeling 00:00:09.019 --> 00:00:11.119 where your blood runs cold. You know what I mean? 00:00:11.199 --> 00:00:13.240 Yeah. That's the feeling that I think I killed 00:00:13.240 --> 00:00:15.779 her by Kenneth Preston hits you with right away. 00:00:15.939 --> 00:00:18.280 Oh, wow. It just throws you right into this world 00:00:18.280 --> 00:00:22.219 of like shattered trust, broken memories and 00:00:22.219 --> 00:00:25.739 just a past that won't stay buried. It's so true. 00:00:25.899 --> 00:00:28.059 And what's really fascinating right from the 00:00:28.059 --> 00:00:32.679 start is just how the author creates this suffocating 00:00:32.679 --> 00:00:35.039 sense of dread. You're immediately in Rachel's 00:00:35.039 --> 00:00:37.659 shoes. Like you can feel that sense of being 00:00:37.659 --> 00:00:40.840 trapped in this terrifying cycle. Yeah. And just 00:00:40.840 --> 00:00:43.359 to be clear, we are diving deep into a thriller 00:00:43.359 --> 00:00:45.920 today. Absolutely. A real page turner. So if 00:00:45.920 --> 00:00:47.619 you are enjoying this exploration, please hit 00:00:47.619 --> 00:00:49.679 that like button and subscribe to get more deep 00:00:49.679 --> 00:00:51.600 dives like this one delivered right to you. Yeah. 00:00:51.700 --> 00:00:54.149 We'd love to go deep. We are going to be dissecting 00:00:54.149 --> 00:00:56.250 the first few chapters of I Think I Killed Her 00:00:56.250 --> 00:00:58.750 by Kenneth Preston. And of course, you can find 00:00:58.750 --> 00:01:00.189 a link to buy the book down in the description 00:01:00.189 --> 00:01:01.950 below. Definitely check it out. But you know 00:01:01.950 --> 00:01:03.770 what? It's not just about like solving a crime. 00:01:03.850 --> 00:01:06.030 Yeah. You know? Right. Preston does something 00:01:06.030 --> 00:01:08.170 really clever. He weaves in these really complex 00:01:08.170 --> 00:01:11.379 themes right from the beginning. I agree. We're 00:01:11.379 --> 00:01:13.859 going to be looking at toxic relationships, the 00:01:13.859 --> 00:01:15.879 tricks our minds can play on us with memory and 00:01:15.879 --> 00:01:18.859 perception, the constant threat of violence and 00:01:18.859 --> 00:01:20.659 that struggle for inner strength. Absolutely. 00:01:20.719 --> 00:01:23.000 So we've got excerpts from the early parts of 00:01:23.000 --> 00:01:24.939 the book, and they really give us this fascinating, 00:01:25.180 --> 00:01:28.540 often unsettling look through the eyes of both 00:01:28.540 --> 00:01:30.900 Rachel and Billy. It's a dual perspective, which 00:01:30.900 --> 00:01:33.760 always adds intrigue. Right. What unfolds is 00:01:33.760 --> 00:01:36.420 this story of escalating fear, memories that 00:01:36.420 --> 00:01:39.260 feel like shifting sands, and this really looming 00:01:39.260 --> 00:01:42.319 possibility. of a truly terrible act. And it 00:01:42.319 --> 00:01:44.980 grabs you from the first page. It does. So our 00:01:44.980 --> 00:01:46.780 goal with this deep dive is to kind of get under 00:01:46.780 --> 00:01:49.420 the skin of these initial mysteries and that 00:01:49.420 --> 00:01:52.060 intense emotional landscape. Yes. We want to 00:01:52.060 --> 00:01:54.680 help you understand the core conflicts that are 00:01:54.680 --> 00:01:57.739 driving both Rachel and Billy and explore the 00:01:57.739 --> 00:01:59.659 psychological states they're in during these 00:01:59.659 --> 00:02:02.420 early chapters. Yes, exactly. Okay, so let's 00:02:02.420 --> 00:02:04.239 unpack this, starting with Rachel's experience 00:02:04.239 --> 00:02:06.959 in chapter one. Okay, sounds good. So right away 00:02:06.959 --> 00:02:10.159 on the first page, you are... plunged into her 00:02:10.159 --> 00:02:13.219 fear, this really, really real fear that she's 00:02:13.219 --> 00:02:15.699 being stalked by her ex -boyfriend Billy. And 00:02:15.699 --> 00:02:18.099 this isn't new to her. Right. She even thinks 00:02:18.099 --> 00:02:20.500 to herself, this is not your first rodeo. And 00:02:20.500 --> 00:02:22.599 I think that line really speaks volumes about 00:02:22.599 --> 00:02:25.419 her past. It really does. It instantly suggests 00:02:25.419 --> 00:02:29.680 this history, this pattern of unhealthy and potentially 00:02:29.680 --> 00:02:33.340 dangerous relationships. Yes. It hints at a grim 00:02:33.340 --> 00:02:35.759 familiarity with this kind of fear. For sure. 00:02:35.879 --> 00:02:37.800 So how about the setting where she's at at Suffolk 00:02:37.800 --> 00:02:39.680 County Community College? How did that strike 00:02:39.680 --> 00:02:42.020 you? Well, I think the setting adds a layer of 00:02:42.020 --> 00:02:44.240 tension to this whole situation. Right. It's 00:02:44.240 --> 00:02:46.960 nighttime. She's alone after teaching this literature 00:02:46.960 --> 00:02:48.900 class, which she obviously doesn't like. Right. 00:02:48.960 --> 00:02:51.819 And that walk to her car, it becomes this journey 00:02:51.819 --> 00:02:54.500 into the unknown, you know? Yeah. Every shadow 00:02:54.500 --> 00:02:56.520 is a potential threat. Every shadow is a potential 00:02:56.520 --> 00:02:58.000 threat. Even though she's on a college campus, 00:02:58.180 --> 00:03:01.159 you get this real sense of isolation and vulnerability. 00:03:01.680 --> 00:03:03.560 Right. And then she has this confrontation with 00:03:03.560 --> 00:03:06.539 Billy. What were your initial thoughts on that 00:03:06.539 --> 00:03:09.139 encounter? Well, it's immediately uncomfortable, 00:03:09.340 --> 00:03:12.259 isn't it? The smell of alcohol on him, even though 00:03:12.259 --> 00:03:14.639 he's supposedly recovering. Yeah. That's jarring. 00:03:14.680 --> 00:03:17.300 And then him grabbing her arm and causing her 00:03:17.300 --> 00:03:20.099 pain. Yes. That's a physical threat right there. 00:03:20.199 --> 00:03:22.740 It's not just words. Exactly. You see those manipulative 00:03:22.740 --> 00:03:26.419 tactics coming out, too. You do, don't you? Please 00:03:26.419 --> 00:03:28.699 the emotional blackmail with the threats of suicide. 00:03:28.879 --> 00:03:32.039 It's all about control. Absolutely. So how does 00:03:32.039 --> 00:03:35.680 Rachel respond internally to this? Well, she 00:03:35.680 --> 00:03:38.280 freezes, doesn't she? She does. She's torn between 00:03:38.280 --> 00:03:41.000 wanting to run and being frozen by fear. And 00:03:41.000 --> 00:03:44.139 we get this really vivid flashback to her abusive 00:03:44.139 --> 00:03:46.840 ex -husband, David. Yeah. And it really highlights 00:03:46.840 --> 00:03:50.419 how past trauma can dictate your reactions in 00:03:50.419 --> 00:03:51.800 the present. Absolutely. And then there's that 00:03:51.800 --> 00:03:54.039 chilling moment where she forces herself to say, 00:03:54.159 --> 00:03:57.729 Billy, I love you. Wow. And it's just for survival. 00:03:57.849 --> 00:03:59.849 It's purely a survival tactic. Right. Think about 00:03:59.849 --> 00:04:02.069 how heavy those words are. They're not out of 00:04:02.069 --> 00:04:05.449 love, but out of sheer terror. Really powerful 00:04:05.449 --> 00:04:08.090 stuff. And from there, the situation just escalates 00:04:08.090 --> 00:04:10.530 rapidly. He gets so angry. He calls her, you 00:04:10.530 --> 00:04:13.810 cold bitch, grabs her face, and then the unthinkable 00:04:13.810 --> 00:04:16.009 happens. Oh, yeah. The blow to the temple and 00:04:16.009 --> 00:04:19.350 her last thoughts are. Then I see red. Then I 00:04:19.350 --> 00:04:22.389 see nothing. It's a brutal blackout. And as a 00:04:22.389 --> 00:04:25.009 reader, you are just left reeling. Totally. It's 00:04:25.009 --> 00:04:27.689 like, what happened next? Is she okay? Exactly. 00:04:27.870 --> 00:04:30.089 Yes. And this is where Preston takes us into 00:04:30.089 --> 00:04:32.529 chapter two, right into Billy's perspective. 00:04:32.930 --> 00:04:36.170 Right. And it's a stark contrast to Rachel's 00:04:36.170 --> 00:04:39.949 clear, terrifying experience. Yes. His mind is 00:04:39.949 --> 00:04:42.230 clouded with darkness. It is. His memories of 00:04:42.230 --> 00:04:45.189 the night before are fragmented, unreliable, 00:04:45.230 --> 00:04:48.240 you know, because of all the alcohol. He even 00:04:48.240 --> 00:04:51.300 mentions this persistent pain in his chest. He 00:04:51.300 --> 00:04:53.660 does. It's fascinating, isn't it? Yeah. And he 00:04:53.660 --> 00:04:55.379 says it's always been there, but his feelings 00:04:55.379 --> 00:04:57.680 for Rachel make it so much worse. And then you've 00:04:57.680 --> 00:04:59.720 got the fact that he's a blackout drinker. Right. 00:04:59.839 --> 00:05:02.240 Which makes him an unreliable narrator. It does. 00:05:02.480 --> 00:05:04.920 He's not just dealing with a hangover. He's genuinely 00:05:04.920 --> 00:05:07.019 terrified of what he might have done while he 00:05:07.019 --> 00:05:09.240 was blacked out. So what does he remember about 00:05:09.240 --> 00:05:11.980 that night? Well, he remembers bits and pieces, 00:05:12.060 --> 00:05:14.579 right? Right. Leaving the bar and being fixated 00:05:14.579 --> 00:05:17.610 on seeing Rachel outside. the humanities building 00:05:17.610 --> 00:05:19.529 yeah he's surprised he even managed to drive 00:05:19.529 --> 00:05:21.930 there in his state right and he remembers some 00:05:21.930 --> 00:05:24.550 of the confrontation with rachel he felt pathetic 00:05:24.550 --> 00:05:27.430 and desperate yeah but the details of what happened 00:05:27.430 --> 00:05:29.949 after that are just gone right it's like trying 00:05:29.949 --> 00:05:33.290 to grab smoke it is and that fear is so palpable 00:05:33.290 --> 00:05:35.810 in his narrative he knows something bad happened 00:05:35.810 --> 00:05:39.569 but the specifics are just out of reach so what 00:05:39.569 --> 00:05:42.230 about his physical state when he wakes up how 00:05:42.230 --> 00:05:44.990 is he feeling well you know classic hangover 00:05:45.639 --> 00:05:48.459 throbbing headache nausea he wakes up on the 00:05:48.459 --> 00:05:50.860 couch and immediately thinks about his wife rose 00:05:50.860 --> 00:05:53.759 and how she's going to react right it's obvious 00:05:53.759 --> 00:05:56.660 his sobriety was so fragile and this slip up 00:05:56.660 --> 00:05:59.379 has huge implications for him and that interaction 00:05:59.379 --> 00:06:01.720 with rose is pretty revealing it is isn't it 00:06:01.720 --> 00:06:04.199 she knows he struggles she looks worried she 00:06:04.199 --> 00:06:06.839 does and he avoids telling her the truth she's 00:06:06.839 --> 00:06:08.500 just he blacked out what did you think about 00:06:08.500 --> 00:06:10.759 their dynamic in that conversation well there's 00:06:10.759 --> 00:06:13.519 this unspoken tension between them I agree. He's 00:06:13.519 --> 00:06:15.560 definitely hiding something more serious than 00:06:15.560 --> 00:06:18.439 just a relapse. Right. Rose is concerned. She 00:06:18.439 --> 00:06:20.980 asks specific questions. And he's just deflecting. 00:06:21.000 --> 00:06:24.019 Yeah. Creating this atmosphere of suspicion and 00:06:24.019 --> 00:06:26.899 mistrust. It's interesting because even with 00:06:26.899 --> 00:06:29.860 this fog in his mind, Billy keeps experiencing 00:06:29.860 --> 00:06:32.959 these disturbing memories. He does, doesn't he? 00:06:32.980 --> 00:06:34.579 But he just pushes them away. And then he has 00:06:34.579 --> 00:06:39.540 this really strange dreamlike image. What was 00:06:39.540 --> 00:06:42.689 that about? So in this fragmented memory. He 00:06:42.689 --> 00:06:46.029 sees someone attacking Rachel. Oh, wow. With 00:06:46.029 --> 00:06:48.449 a rock. With a rock. Yeah, he tries to intervene, 00:06:48.689 --> 00:06:52.350 falls down, and the rock hits Rachel. Oh, my 00:06:52.350 --> 00:06:55.269 gosh. But he's completely unsure if it actually 00:06:55.269 --> 00:06:57.670 happened or if it was just a nightmare fueled 00:06:57.670 --> 00:06:59.949 by guilt and the alcohol. That unreliability 00:06:59.949 --> 00:07:02.970 is so key to this thriller. It is. It really 00:07:02.970 --> 00:07:04.769 keeps you on the edge of your seat, not knowing 00:07:04.769 --> 00:07:07.029 what's real and what's not. So what does he do 00:07:07.029 --> 00:07:09.740 to try and figure things out? Well, he does what 00:07:09.740 --> 00:07:12.220 anyone would do in a panic. He frantically checks 00:07:12.220 --> 00:07:14.920 the news online. Of course. Looking for any reports 00:07:14.920 --> 00:07:17.139 of an incident near the college, he needs some 00:07:17.139 --> 00:07:19.259 kind of confirmation. Right. And then he decides 00:07:19.259 --> 00:07:21.779 he has to go to the college himself. Okay. He 00:07:21.779 --> 00:07:23.399 needs to see for himself if anything happened. 00:07:23.740 --> 00:07:26.319 So let's jump ahead a bit to chapters 8 through 00:07:26.319 --> 00:07:28.899 10. This is where things get really intense for 00:07:28.899 --> 00:07:31.220 Billy, and some pretty damning evidence starts 00:07:31.220 --> 00:07:33.319 to appear. Absolutely, there's this real shift 00:07:33.319 --> 00:07:35.740 in the narrative. Billy is overcome by this urge 00:07:35.740 --> 00:07:38.800 to wash his hands. Yeah, he can't stop. He keeps 00:07:38.800 --> 00:07:41.259 seeing and feeling blood, even though Rose tries 00:07:41.259 --> 00:07:43.399 to rationalize it away. Right, like his body 00:07:43.399 --> 00:07:45.360 is betraying him. Exactly, and then comes the 00:07:45.360 --> 00:07:47.620 discovery that really sends chills down your 00:07:47.620 --> 00:07:51.040 spine. Some blood under his fingernails. Oh, 00:07:51.060 --> 00:07:53.259 no. It's a tiny detail, but it just triggers 00:07:53.259 --> 00:07:56.139 this huge wave of panic and disbelief in him. 00:07:56.259 --> 00:07:58.360 Right. He tries to scrub it away, but that image 00:07:58.360 --> 00:08:01.000 is seared in his mind. Exactly. And this is where 00:08:01.000 --> 00:08:04.019 things change for Billy. His fear of Rose grows, 00:08:04.160 --> 00:08:07.160 and he's terrified of facing what he might have 00:08:07.160 --> 00:08:09.879 done. His internal struggle is so intense. It 00:08:09.879 --> 00:08:12.459 is. So then what happens? What does he do next? 00:08:12.819 --> 00:08:14.959 Well, he needs to find Rose. He becomes consumed 00:08:14.959 --> 00:08:17.689 by this need to find her. And he's scared to 00:08:17.689 --> 00:08:20.110 drive, which isn't like him. No, it's not. And 00:08:20.110 --> 00:08:22.310 then he has this incredibly disturbing image 00:08:22.310 --> 00:08:25.069 of Rachel in his trunk. Oh, God. Like a hallucination 00:08:25.069 --> 00:08:28.389 almost blurring the lines between reality and 00:08:28.389 --> 00:08:31.910 his worst fears. This image is so powerful. It 00:08:31.910 --> 00:08:34.909 really drives his actions. What does he do? He 00:08:34.909 --> 00:08:36.730 has to know. He has to check the trunk. Oh, my 00:08:36.730 --> 00:08:39.149 God. And when he opens it, he doesn't find Rachel. 00:08:39.490 --> 00:08:42.730 Right. But he finds his gray hoodie, the one 00:08:42.730 --> 00:08:44.750 he was wearing that night, and it's covered in 00:08:44.750 --> 00:08:47.309 blood. This is like a huge turning point. This 00:08:47.309 --> 00:08:49.889 isn't a nightmare anymore. It's real tangible 00:08:49.889 --> 00:08:52.629 evidence. So now we are getting into chapters 00:08:52.629 --> 00:08:56.289 11 through 16. Okay. This is where the suspicion 00:08:56.289 --> 00:08:59.450 against Billy really starts to ramp up and the 00:08:59.450 --> 00:09:01.909 interrogation begins. The walls are closing in. 00:09:02.240 --> 00:09:04.879 They are. When he sees that blood on his hoodie, 00:09:04.960 --> 00:09:07.799 it seems to break through his denial. Yeah. He 00:09:07.799 --> 00:09:10.039 remembers killing his father and it creates this 00:09:10.039 --> 00:09:13.659 terrifying parallel. That past trauma is resurfacing 00:09:13.659 --> 00:09:15.879 and it's haunting him. And then the outside world 00:09:15.879 --> 00:09:18.899 starts to reflect his internal fears. Absolutely. 00:09:18.919 --> 00:09:22.200 The news reports Rachel's disappearance. They 00:09:22.200 --> 00:09:24.480 find blood at the scene near the college. Oh, 00:09:24.519 --> 00:09:27.639 no. And it's just. intensifies his guilt and 00:09:27.639 --> 00:09:29.659 fear. Right. It's all coming together and it 00:09:29.659 --> 00:09:31.740 doesn't look good for him. So what happens when 00:09:31.740 --> 00:09:34.019 Rose confronts him about Rachel? Well, it's super 00:09:34.019 --> 00:09:35.740 tense. She doesn't believe his lies anymore. 00:09:36.080 --> 00:09:38.519 She's a smart woman. She is. And Billy's torn 00:09:38.519 --> 00:09:41.779 between confessing to the affair and the possibility 00:09:41.779 --> 00:09:44.799 of something much worse. He's in a terrible position. 00:09:45.019 --> 00:09:47.899 He is. And then Detective Ryan arrives, which 00:09:47.899 --> 00:09:50.519 changes everything. Oh, yeah. Now it's official. 00:09:50.740 --> 00:09:52.960 Right. Billy knows he's a person of interest 00:09:52.960 --> 00:09:55.990 now. Not just a worried boyfriend. Nope. And 00:09:55.990 --> 00:09:58.149 the questioning begins, and you can feel his 00:09:58.149 --> 00:10:00.730 internal struggle. He wants to tell the truth, 00:10:00.850 --> 00:10:03.389 but he's so scared of the consequences. It's 00:10:03.389 --> 00:10:06.009 a classic battle between guilt and self -preservation. 00:10:06.590 --> 00:10:08.789 So how does he describe the attack during the 00:10:08.789 --> 00:10:11.509 interrogation? Well, his memory is still distorted. 00:10:11.750 --> 00:10:14.850 He talks about this dark hooded figure with piercing 00:10:14.850 --> 00:10:17.870 eyes. OK. Which conveniently shifts the blame 00:10:17.870 --> 00:10:20.250 away from him, even though it sounds really far 00:10:20.250 --> 00:10:22.470 fetched at this point. Right. But despite all 00:10:22.470 --> 00:10:24.110 the evidence against him, he doesn't confess. 00:10:24.250 --> 00:10:26.649 It's a desperate attempt to save himself. Yeah. 00:10:26.750 --> 00:10:30.129 A gamble born out of fear. Exactly. So what happens 00:10:30.129 --> 00:10:31.710 at the end of the interrogation? Does he crack? 00:10:32.139 --> 00:10:35.500 He agrees to take a polygraph test. Wow. A high 00:10:35.500 --> 00:10:37.879 -stakes move? It is. It shows that there's a 00:10:37.879 --> 00:10:40.179 tiny bit of hope left in him that he can prove 00:10:40.179 --> 00:10:43.639 his innocence. Okay. So let's shift back to Rachel's 00:10:43.639 --> 00:10:46.179 perspective. Okay. We need to go back to Chapter 00:10:46.179 --> 00:10:49.840 7. Okay. This chapter is so important for understanding 00:10:49.840 --> 00:10:52.539 her character. I agree. Before we see what happens 00:10:52.539 --> 00:10:55.240 to her after the attack, we need to understand 00:10:55.240 --> 00:10:57.899 her past. Right. We learn about her traumatic 00:10:57.899 --> 00:11:00.720 childhood with an abusive father. Yeah. And these 00:11:00.720 --> 00:11:03.399 violent fantasies she had as a coping mechanism. 00:11:03.700 --> 00:11:06.200 Like the gasoline and matches. Exactly. It shows 00:11:06.200 --> 00:11:10.100 just how much fear and powerlessness she felt 00:11:10.100 --> 00:11:13.139 as a child. She creates this tough exterior to 00:11:13.139 --> 00:11:15.620 protect herself. Right. Mirroring her mother's 00:11:15.620 --> 00:11:17.799 behavior. It's like a shield against the constant 00:11:17.799 --> 00:11:19.919 threat. It's interesting, though, because despite 00:11:19.919 --> 00:11:22.779 this strength, she makes a decision that seems 00:11:22.779 --> 00:11:25.000 to contradict it. What do you mean? Well, she 00:11:25.000 --> 00:11:27.299 decides to go to a bar looking for casual sex. 00:11:27.480 --> 00:11:30.240 Oh, yeah. It really highlights her deep fear 00:11:30.240 --> 00:11:32.919 of intimacy, which stems from her past trauma. 00:11:33.059 --> 00:11:35.799 Right. And then she meets David. And her reaction 00:11:35.799 --> 00:11:38.519 is so visceral, it suggests a really significant 00:11:38.519 --> 00:11:41.179 and possibly negative history there. Okay, so 00:11:41.179 --> 00:11:44.240 now let's go to chapter 17. This is right after 00:11:44.240 --> 00:11:47.649 the attack. Okay. Rachel wakes up. Injured and 00:11:47.649 --> 00:11:51.009 confused in this creepy basement. It's a terrifying 00:11:51.009 --> 00:11:53.289 situation. She's weak. She has a concussion. 00:11:53.870 --> 00:11:56.950 She's lost a lot of blood. She's completely at 00:11:56.950 --> 00:11:59.509 the mercy of whoever took her. It's every victim's 00:11:59.509 --> 00:12:01.730 worst nightmare. What are her instincts in this 00:12:01.730 --> 00:12:04.470 moment? Survival. Right. She has to escape. Even 00:12:04.470 --> 00:12:06.549 though she's so weak, she's desperately trying 00:12:06.549 --> 00:12:08.389 to find a way out of that basement. That inner 00:12:08.389 --> 00:12:11.289 strength is still there. It is. And it leads 00:12:11.289 --> 00:12:14.090 to a confrontation with her captor. Right. It's 00:12:14.090 --> 00:12:16.610 heavily implied that this is David, someone from 00:12:16.610 --> 00:12:20.289 her past who has abused her before. Oh, wow. 00:12:20.409 --> 00:12:21.990 And there's this really powerful moment where 00:12:21.990 --> 00:12:25.049 Rachel grabs a shard of glass. Okay. It's a small 00:12:25.049 --> 00:12:28.330 act of resistance. Right. But she ends up submitting, 00:12:28.429 --> 00:12:31.289 again, it's a heartbreaking reminder of the lasting 00:12:31.289 --> 00:12:34.230 impact of abuse. So that moment with the glass 00:12:34.230 --> 00:12:36.289 is so important. Even though it's brief, it shows 00:12:36.289 --> 00:12:39.720 that she still has that fight in her. So what 00:12:39.720 --> 00:12:42.379 happens? Does she manage to escape? She does. 00:12:42.480 --> 00:12:44.580 Eventually she gets out of the basement in the 00:12:44.580 --> 00:12:46.340 woods, although we don't get all the details 00:12:46.340 --> 00:12:48.620 in these early chapters. Okay, so fast forward 00:12:48.620 --> 00:12:52.320 to chapter 37. Okay. How does she react to the 00:12:52.320 --> 00:12:56.940 news about Billy? It's complicated. She's obviously 00:12:56.940 --> 00:12:59.220 terrified of him and what he did to her. Right. 00:12:59.320 --> 00:13:01.779 But when she learns about his suicide, she feels 00:13:01.779 --> 00:13:04.919 genuine sadness. Wow, that's surprising. Yeah, 00:13:04.980 --> 00:13:07.399 she acknowledges that he hurt her, but she also 00:13:07.399 --> 00:13:10.039 recognizes that he tried to help her later on. 00:13:10.159 --> 00:13:12.620 So it's a mixed bag of emotions. It is. It shows 00:13:12.620 --> 00:13:15.519 how complex their relationship was. And how about 00:13:15.519 --> 00:13:18.019 her confrontation with David, her ex -husband, 00:13:18.159 --> 00:13:21.490 in Chapter 27? That scene is really powerful. 00:13:21.549 --> 00:13:24.169 It's like a moment of transformation. Well, she 00:13:24.169 --> 00:13:26.070 stands up to him in the pouring rain and it's 00:13:26.070 --> 00:13:27.909 like she finally becomes that fierce warrior 00:13:27.909 --> 00:13:30.230 that her mom talked about. Right. She's breaking 00:13:30.230 --> 00:13:32.590 free from her past. She's reclaiming her power. 00:13:32.809 --> 00:13:37.269 Exactly. And what about Rose, Billy's wife? What 00:13:37.269 --> 00:13:39.330 do you think about her role in all of this? Well, 00:13:39.370 --> 00:13:41.330 it's interesting, isn't it? It is. She seems 00:13:41.330 --> 00:13:43.190 to be much more perceptive than she lets on. 00:13:43.309 --> 00:13:46.549 Right. Billy is paranoid. He's scared of her. 00:13:46.789 --> 00:13:49.649 She seems to know things. It feels like she's 00:13:49.649 --> 00:13:51.470 putting the pieces together. And do you think 00:13:51.470 --> 00:13:53.830 she's actively involved in what happens? I think 00:13:53.830 --> 00:13:55.990 it's very likely. Remember the bloodstained hoodie 00:13:55.990 --> 00:13:58.110 in the trunk? Oh, yeah. And later on, we hear 00:13:58.110 --> 00:14:00.909 about an anonymous tip. Right. It all points 00:14:00.909 --> 00:14:03.049 to Rose taking action, maybe out of jealousy, 00:14:03.230 --> 00:14:05.970 maybe anger. Maybe she's protecting herself. 00:14:06.230 --> 00:14:07.970 It definitely adds another layer of suspense 00:14:07.970 --> 00:14:10.929 to the story. It does. So what stands out to 00:14:10.929 --> 00:14:13.710 you about how the author is crafting this thriller? 00:14:14.169 --> 00:14:16.389 Well, the constant shifting between Rachel's 00:14:16.389 --> 00:14:19.549 fear and Billy's confusion is really effective. 00:14:20.009 --> 00:14:22.909 It is. You're constantly questioning what's real, 00:14:23.009 --> 00:14:25.230 what actually happened that night. And both narrators 00:14:25.230 --> 00:14:28.269 are unreliable. Absolutely. Rachel's past trauma 00:14:28.269 --> 00:14:31.809 influences how she sees things. And Billy's blackouts 00:14:31.809 --> 00:14:34.350 create these huge gaps in his memory. So as a 00:14:34.350 --> 00:14:35.830 listener, you're constantly trying to fill in 00:14:35.830 --> 00:14:37.789 those blanks. You're part of the mystery. Exactly. 00:14:37.990 --> 00:14:39.950 So what are some of the questions you're left 00:14:39.950 --> 00:14:42.450 with at this point? So many questions. Did Billy 00:14:42.450 --> 00:14:45.289 really kill Rachel? Was the hooded figure real 00:14:45.289 --> 00:14:48.230 or just a figment of his imagination? And who 00:14:48.230 --> 00:14:50.769 is this other David? What's his connection to 00:14:50.769 --> 00:14:53.769 Rachel? And what about Rose? What is she really 00:14:53.769 --> 00:14:56.370 capable of? There's a feeling that we've only 00:14:56.370 --> 00:14:58.610 scratched the surface of this story. And what 00:14:58.610 --> 00:15:00.610 about the character's motivations? What drives 00:15:00.610 --> 00:15:02.370 them? Right. What makes Billy so destructive? 00:15:02.669 --> 00:15:04.889 What's at the root of Rachel's fear? It feels 00:15:04.889 --> 00:15:07.710 like there's so much more to uncover. So after 00:15:07.710 --> 00:15:11.610 this deep dive into I think I killed her, what 00:15:11.610 --> 00:15:14.110 do you think really happened that night? What 00:15:14.110 --> 00:15:16.289 do you think happened? And think about the darkness 00:15:16.289 --> 00:15:19.909 that each character faces. Is it something external 00:15:19.909 --> 00:15:22.820 or is it internal? And what does that say about 00:15:22.820 --> 00:15:24.860 the nature of violence? It's a question that 00:15:24.860 --> 00:15:27.019 I think will stay with you long after you finish 00:15:27.019 --> 00:15:29.659 the book. Absolutely. Thank you so much for joining 00:15:29.659 --> 00:15:32.379 us for this intense deep dive. It was a pleasure. 00:15:32.600 --> 00:15:34.539 We really hope you enjoyed it. If you did, let 00:15:34.539 --> 00:15:36.779 us know your favorite moment or your biggest 00:15:36.779 --> 00:15:39.120 surprise in the comments below. Yeah, we love 00:15:39.120 --> 00:15:41.220 hearing from you. And please share this deep 00:15:41.220 --> 00:15:43.559 dive with anyone you know who loves a good thriller 00:15:43.559 --> 00:15:47.159 and enjoys unpacking a good mystery. Absolutely. 00:15:47.179 --> 00:15:49.139 Spread the word. Thanks again for listening.