Welcome to Terra Deusa, episode 2.
Warning, this episode deals with child abuse and childhood trauma.
We will be a few months forward.
You guys have spent that time training and honing your respective skills with your teachers.
Enos, you would have come over a few times, maybe like four or five by this point.
Pretty much like once or twice a week.
Sleepovers?
No, actually. So far, Enos has never actually spent a significant amount of time with you guys.
It's always been for specific instances of magical training.
And speaking of said magical training, who's first on the chopping block today?
Oh, one. Beautiful. Yes.
Vanna, that's you.
So, we will just go over some of the training, some of the moments for all of you before we really get into things.
So, how did we get from the screaming little gremlin to, well, whatever we have at the moment?
Still minorly feral, because it's only been a couple months, but as we have mentioned,
Vanna will mature very quickly due to being an aginocid.
And relatively quickly, for all things considered, with how resistant they are to learning, apparently,
their learning language, they're catching up, they're figuring out what the fuck is going on.
They still don't completely understand why they keep on being trapped into a room.
But at least now they're more friendly with the other three, as well as being friendly with Clara.
Beautiful. Thank you so much.
So, we will just open up. I will stay.
Clara, whenever I see the Frenchman, goes, fuck.
He's an aginocid, just fuck.
Of course. I assume this much.
We will just open up on one of those scenes.
So, you are in your base.
Clara is trying their very best to teach you some magic,
teach you how to feel and how to breathe in and out magic.
Ideally without setting random things on fire by chucking fireball without any discern.
Hopefully. So, yes.
So, she's sitting there. I assume... What is Vanna doing in this moment?
Probably has thoroughly explored their space, has kind of begun making it feel like their own,
in the way of being able to actually be in the air again and feeling not as trapped,
even if they do still feel very trapped.
I don't think you've gained flights just yet.
I mean climbing.
They absolutely will sack random furniture and climb it.
100%. So, Clara is currently just sitting on the floor sort of meditating.
You see this swirl of color and light that sort of almost always seems to surround them,
whether it be from their hands, their forearms, or most often from their cloak.
It's a large brown cloak with several spots of glowing purple, blue, and red.
There have been many times by now where Vanna has come up to like sneak up and try to take a look,
but upon being spotted, fucking ran.
Amazing.
It's like a feral cat and you have...
Beautiful. So, now we move on.
Just quickly going through two events.
You are back at your house, I assume.
Would you be training? It's like mid-afternoon, early evening.
Do you think you would be training out in the woods or doing more wholesome things?
Definitely out in the woods, just shooting.
Awesome. Yeah. Go ahead and give me a roll to hit, I guess.
One plus five.
So that is...
I don't know.
So you fire off a few arrows, one after the other, whizzing by, not hitting your target,
but as they sort of pierce into the ground, your target is cornered and trapped.
I'd say it's a large elk by this point, a magical creature, sort of.
It's a very common in the forest, but they're livestock.
What is your response to this? What are you doing, Dad?
Going to go collect the arrows, obviously.
Awesome. Yeah.
As you move down to collect the arrows, this thing is going to try and run away.
It does run at you.
In a sort of moment of self-defense, can you go ahead and give me a dex check with disadvantage?
Safe.
Oh, dex safe. So that's going to be a 20.
Also, yeah. Go ahead and take nine points of bludgeon damage,
as this thing barrels straight past you, knocking you to the ground.
Oh.
Yes.
And as you see this, you hear a sort of hearty, small chuckling in the background
as your uncle, who has been watching all of this transpire, comes to help you up.
It's just like, you okay there, kid? Quite the tumble.
Yeah, okay. Let's get you something to eat, you foe.
Despite my protest, you've got your magical training in a few hours, so.
All right.
Awesome. Thank you very much, and let's just head home.
Why? Everyone's confused.
And with that, you do. You head home. What do general meal times look like for you?
I forgot the words that I was using, so I'm just going to use literal.
Okay, so grandmother's usually the one cooking.
Obviously, Eris is helping out because Eris has a little recipe book that they carry with them.
Can you give me an insight check real quick?
Er, that's a six.
Awesome. Well, this person is definitely part of your family.
You've known them for a while. You love them greatly.
Confirmably not your mom. A little too old, a little not magical enough, but they look fine.
And then grandfather would get home from his day at the market, and I remember when we sat at the table, too.
Awesome. It's a quiet meal tonight. That's not generally the normal atmosphere.
But on the days we have magical training, things tend to be a bit quieter.
Afterwards, your grandmother offers to take you to the compound just to sort of freshen things up, give you a good evening.
Do you say anything? Do anything on your way there?
Yes. That's right there. Beautiful.
And with that, we now have Tikal. You good?
Hello.
Hello. Are you able to interact?
Yeah, I was just muting because I'm on the street, so cars. I don't want to interrupt.
Ah. With that, you spend most of your time either, I assume, getting into wonderful hijinks or training with the Frenchmen, yes?
Yes, absolutely.
Yes.
Look at me.
This is one of the lovely yet rare moments where in which everyone, well, mostly everyone, is taken in order to do magical training.
She doesn't want to, so she's not going to. She's going to go hide in her room. Wait, how old are they supposed to be at this point?
Awesome. Yeah, they're about like seven-ish by now.
Seven? Okay.
Yeah.
Like seven, the older ones or seven Tikal?
The older ones are seven Tikal. It's only been a few months since you've got there. You're still sort of settling in, still not quite, you know, working like clockwork.
Okay, so yeah, she's just hiding under the bed.
Awesome.
With the kitchen knife.
With the kitchen knife. Beautiful. So after you hide there for a few moments, you see someone enter the room. You can't tell which instructor it is, but it is definitely one of them. If you'd like to give me an insight investigation or perception check, please feel free to do so.
Absolutely, I would. Let me figure out which one of those is the highest.
Valid.
Okay, insight investigation or perception you said?
Yep.
Okay, beautiful. Investigation, which will be a 16.
Okay.
And these are not those footsteps. These are very recognizable.
Dance like jumpy footsteps that just sort of pitter patter everywhere near constantly. He's almost always doing something.
He takes a seat on the bed. He knows you're there. He can see you hiding under the bed with your kitchen knife. It's not the first time this has happened.
And those, you know, you do have to do this.
It's unfortunate.
But you do not have a choice.
She's not going to say anything. She's just going to like scooch further back under the bed.
All right. Well, I, I would call Gustav. He could lift the bed. He could lift the bed. And then I could grab you. You're not terribly heavy, so it would not be difficult.
Or instead, you could come willingly.
There could be less screaming.
And, you know, perhaps the legs on your bed don't get broken.
He's still very, very silent.
But will fall out from under the bed.
And just stare at him.
Going to step right back. Would you like to make an intimidation check. Oh, absolutely. I would. Awesome. I gave myself.
Oh, no, I didn't. I was. I thought I gave myself proficiency on that.
This will be contested with his intimidation check.
Okay, that's a 14.
That is a no.
You met to him.
He nods. He's not scared so much as he's just proud.
He's looking at you and he's like, yeah, it's scary, scary fucking toddler.
I scary, scary fucking toddler.
And he offers you one of his gloves, not his hand because.
He doesn't offer people his hands for handshakes, high fives, anything. He will just sort of pass his glove over.
For you to take and follow him in to what is Vana's room for magical training.
They don't release Vana, do they?
Very rarely.
Like a caged animal.
Feral.
Based on the fact that you're all hiding in cupboards and climbing into walls.
I don't think feral animals is a bad assessment.
Well, but also it is Tikal and Vana.
Well, yeah, fair enough.
And finally, Felix.
Hello.
Everything all good?
Good.
So Felix, you don't partake in magical training.
So currently you are training with Gustav.
In this training, he stands about five, ten feet away from you.
With a wooden greatsword in his hands and he tosses to your feet a short sword, a long sword and a greatsword.
A weapon?
Yes.
Felix goes to try and pick up the biggest one first and he kind of buckles under the weight.
Go ahead and give me a strength check or a strength save if you want to put your whole body into it and not really care about what happens to you.
Wait, is this save for me to gain myself?
It's an option.
You can make a strength check if you just want to lift it or a strength save if you want to put your whole body and possibly dislocate your arms a little into lifting this object far heavier than you should probably be able to lift.
Okay, try hard Felix.
You're going to try to be the strength save.
Beautiful.
That is a ten.
Okay, so you get it off the ground.
You feel your arms start to like wobble and shake and you keep pulling.
Go ahead and take, ooh, that's rough.
Twelve points of force damage as you pick up this sword and it falls back on top of you.
Joseph lands flat on his back and he's like, at least I can lift this thing.
Gustav Watzard here and he says that it's really unfortunate that you're not as strong as you think you are.
But it's simple.
Do what works.
You don't have to try.
There's no need to throw everything to every counter.
Do what works.
If you are battling a field mouse, don't attack as much as you can as hard as you can.
Just kick it.
I guess that's what it's done.
But I feel like if I don't try as hard as I can right off the bat, I'm not going to get anywhere.
I understand.
But what you need to realize is that there's a difference between being strong and being reckless.
But I thought you said be strong but dumb.
No.
I said you do not need to be smart to be strong.
Then why can't I just pick up the great sword?
Clearly because you're not strong enough.
So be smarter.
Pick up something lighter.
And be quicker.
Great swords are good, but they're slow.
Felix is just going to bite his lip and score him out from underneath the great sword and then try to pick up again.
Awesome.
Give me another strength save, this time with advantage.
Yeah.
That is a 15.
Uniple, you get it up off the ground.
This is a great sword almost the size of you.
You are a child and this is a big ass sword.
You're like propping it up on your shoulder.
You've got it.
But Gustav looks kind of wary.
Look, I did it.
As well, yes, you did.
But having a weapon is worthless if you can't swing the damn thing.
So go ahead.
Swing it at me.
Felix is going to like tip his body forward and try to use the momentum of his weight to push it.
Just to fall in Gustav's direction.
Awesome. Yeah, I'll take it.
That is a 14 plus six.
Nice.
So you brought this sword up and you sort of see it lined up very clearly.
As since it's a wooden sword, it's not going to do much.
As it slams into Gustav of breaking completely.
The sword?
Yes. He looks stunned.
As you see a small bruise slowly growing into quite a large one start bubbling up on his shoulder.
You okay?
I'm fine. I've had worse wounds and they have healed.
I think that blow gave me a couple splinters too.
Well, go talk to the Frenchman. He's not busy. He's more of a medic than I'll ever be.
And with that, we will move on to magical training.
So for the record, upon seeing Tikal enter the room, Vona is actually going to leave their perch and fucking dart to like basically hug on to her.
What is Tikal's pronouns?
I'm pretty sure she's a girl.
Yeah.
Okay. Vona is going to dart and immediately like grab onto her arm and just Tikal.
It's Tikal.
Tikal.
He's going to poke Vona with the knife.
Your tika, your tika to me.
Vona had to make one point of piercing damage.
No!
Alright.
So with that, Klara is sort of sitting in the middle, still like dancing around.
She never really stops moving.
She's always spinning very light on her feet, seem very calm and collected with those colors dancing around her.
She's like, alright kids, so today we're going to work on something very simple.
All you need to do is hit the target.
It's a moving target, so it's going to be a little more difficult than last time, but as long as you can hit it, congratulations.
And we will wait until the next lesson to move on any further.
I assume you're all just sort of paused there at this.
I can't tell if anyone is speaking or if we're just silent right now.
No one is speaking. Not a word.
Because I can't hear anybody.
Like I said, Vona is just...
Tika!
Enos?
Yes, everyone except Felix is here doing sort of their magical training.
Very mandatory, very official.
Can Felix sit and watch?
Of course.
You are sitting and watching as the Frenchman sort of pulls splinters out of your hand.
That's so sweet.
Give me a calm save.
That is a natural 20.
Beautiful. So you take this like a hand.
He is pulling like entire tree stumps out of your hand, and you do not wince for a moment.
You are just sitting there like be strong, be strong, be strong.
Felix is going to ask the Frenchman why is a murderer so good at fixing people?
Well, little one, murder is more of a side effect of what I do.
It's not the goal, and it's not really what I'm trying to accomplish,
but few people may end up dead here, few people may end up dead there.
It happens, you know?
Yeah, I guess so.
But keep watching, because these are the people nearly to make sure do not end up dead.
So pay attention, learn their weaknesses, and come for them.
I will.
Good one.
And back over to the magical training.
What are you guys doing?
You don't really see a target, but Clara is moving around a lot more than normal.
Normally she just sort of dances in place.
Here she is almost gating and gliding across the floor as if it was made of ice.
She's the target?
Yes.
What do you think, Gav?
She's the target.
Fire bolts.
Roll to hit.
Thirteenth.
Thirteenth? Awesome.
This whizzes right back.
You go, okay, you're the target.
Catch this and pitch this little ball of spinning flames,
and as it grows and pierces towards her, it misses completely.
Can I do an insight to see if she's actually the target?
Yeah, go for it.
It would be perception, but yes.
Perception?
There's zero thoughts for Vonna.
Just, okay.
Eleven. She's the target.
Cool.
Just trying to remember, because I forgot to do the spell real quick.
Feel free to only use cantrips here, and if you do use a level spell,
don't worry about the spell slots.
Cool.
This is training.
Magic Missile. Awesome.
That's three.
Three bolts?
Yep.
With one roll?
I think it's three separate rolls.
Awesome. Go ahead and give me those rolls.
That's a seventeen, an eleven, and an eight.
What's your bonus to that?
It doesn't get a bonus.
It doesn't get a bonus? Awesome.
What does it do now?
No, it doesn't.
Awesome.
You generate these three sort of mystical spires of glowing,
like pink and blue energy, and as you throw them at the instructor,
two of them, just like Vonna's fire bolt, just go right and left,
breeze right past them,
and she goes, you're going to have to try a little harder than that
as the other one goes.
And you can see from every conceivable angle, it's going to connect.
But as she's dancing and moving, her cloak begins to light up,
and it is moved, hitting the floor, completely missing it.
As she looks at you, she's like, excellent work.
But again, you're going to have to do a little bit better than that.
How did she do that?
Felix, go ahead and give me an arcana check.
Okay.
Can I do that as well? Like the arcana check?
No, you are a little busy hanging on to another child for dear life.
That was a twelve.
Awesome. So this cloak is definitely magical.
Definitely going back to this room.
Yeah, that's about as far as you get.
Tikal, what are you going to do to try and hit this target?
So you know that knife that she has?
God damn it. Yeah.
She's going to throw it.
Is this a magical knife or just a regular ass kitchen knife?
This is just a kitchen knife.
God damn it. Go ahead, roll the hit.
That is a throwing knife or a dagger if you have the stats for it?
Yeah. Awesome.
That is an eighteen.
Eighteen. Awesome.
So you watch where she's going, tracking it with your fingers.
You see she's moving in a small, triangular formation,
dancing as her shadows move.
Again, somehow even more than she is.
You take the knife by the blade and hit it.
It goes screaming through the air.
And all movements that she's doing stops completely.
As she stares dead on to this kitchen knife,
as the handle of it, not the blade, hits her square between the eyes.
Go ahead and roll.
Are they? Roll damage, did you say? Yep.
D4. That's five points of damage.
Awesome. As soon as this hits her, you see that she is directly in front of you.
Every shadow cast in this room begins to stretch and pull around you,
concaving and making a sort of box.
Go ahead and give me an arcana check or a wisdom save.
So Vona's hanging on to call, right?
Yeah, you're also experiencing this as this lady who's generally nice and flowing
is trying to put the fear of God in you.
I don't think that's very hard with Vona.
That is a ten arcana check.
Awesome. You are stuck. You cannot move.
You are in magical vines of shadow.
And if you try to move, it's going to hurt.
Do I need terrible as well for Vona?
No, you sort of just like fall to the floor, clattering away like a small animal.
Yeah.
You scape her away to hide behind probably Felix at this point.
Yeah.
Awesome.
Felix is already running to call to try and get the shadows off of them.
Yep. Go ahead and give me a debt check.
But before you can be the result of that to call you see as her eyes sort of fractal,
spreading out and caving around you.
She speaks in a voice that sounds like many more people talking.
She says that is not what you are here for.
It is magical training.
We are not trying to kill anyone.
We are trying to teach you so you don't die and we can keep living.
Now, I'm going to let that slide because I'm in a good mood.
But if you try that again, you will be removed and we will find another way.
That's crazy.
If you call and perfect for five year old this is going to start stopping.
Yeah. Felix, at this point you do reach to call and this felt does seem to be disbanded.
He kneels down and rubbed her back and he is going to be like, are you okay?
Awesome. Can you go ahead and make a charisma save?
Oh, what? Sorry?
Charisma saving throw.
Anybody would like to attack Cloud while they are distracted?
I would like to turn invisible.
I will throw fireballs.
From both angles I assume you will turn invisible and go behind.
I will also do a magic missile.
Another magic missile. Beautiful.
I get it.
Chill touch is a touch range spell.
No, actually it is a range.
Confusing.
You create a ghostly skeletal hand in the space of a creature within range.
Beautiful range.
So, yeah.
You want to hit.
I get advantage on this because I'm invisible.
You do get advantage.
Attack is going to be a 13.
Second attack is going to be a 20.
That 20.
Third attack is going to be a 19.
God damn.
What is that roll?
I rolled a 15 to hit.
15 does not hit.
Crazy.
Can I just spam a bunch of them basically?
I will let you cast it again.
Beautiful, go ahead and roll to hit.
Fuck.
Nat 1.
Beautiful.
Roll damage.
You hurt me.
It backfired on you.
It was a crit.
Critical damage.
I rolled an 8.
Beautiful.
Roll it again.
That's a 4.
That's 4.
Awesome.
That's 12.
Beautiful.
Thank you so much.
As soon as you see that she's calming down collecting herself.
Maybe I shouldn't scream at children.
I'm going to try to reduce it to a healthy work environment.
You see Eros turn invisible in an instant.
These small inner patterns on the ground as they dart behind.
Throwing magic missile after magic missile after magic missile.
The first collection of magic missiles react the same.
They go 1, 2, 3 and the cloak seems to bend the light around them.
To crash them into the floor doing jack shit.
As you throw this chill touch out, it does the same thing.
Pulling the ghostly hand apart and breaking it into the ground.
You see it's bony icy fingers sticking up before they dissipate.
And with one more magic missile darting into the ground.
The last two that Eros throw collide with the cloak itself.
Missing the runes entirely.
One of which poking a hole and sort of charring a bit of this cloak.
The other one connecting solidly.
Hitting them square in the chest.
Knocking them to the floor.
Go ahead and roll damage.
Nice shot Eros.
Is only one on?
No, two.
Okay cool.
So that's going to be eight damage.
Eight damage.
Roll the green d4 again.
Nine, ten, eleven. Beautiful.
Awesome.
So as this happens she is knocked on the floor.
And you see her hair begin to twist.
Her hat, her sort of typical witch's hat with the horns poking out.
Begin to buckle and fold up.
And then nothing.
The winds around her calm.
She stands up.
A sort of burn mark on her chest.
As she slowly and almost begrudgingly claps.
Congratulations.
You have all passed your magical training.
And with that, with all you have done,
in a few weeks I believe you will be ready to go on your first mission.
Heading out of the compound for the first time.
And doing some real adventure.
Yes.
You don't need to think this world for what it is.
You may not have a back for this.
Oh.
But if you do, you will be stronger because of it.
It will be very proud.
What does proud mean?
Five years old, guys.
I don't even want to die.
What?
Is that years old?
Yup.
Being sent out into the world to go kill things.
With all that being said, this whole scene sprawled out in front of you.
Clara leaves and for the night, for the next little while,
about a few hours, you're all just left there.
Is the Frenchman still around?
The Frenchman is definitely still around, yeah.
What's your name?
John.
John!
John.
J-U-A-N.
I don't know.
J-E-A-N.
You're the record.
That was out of character.
Me screaming John was out of character.
That was a Juan.
I was in a Juan.
J-U-A-N is Juan.
What's that?
J-E-A-N is more French.
Mm-hmm.
And they're going to go pray back to the line sharing him,
just like they were the first.
They've kind of dealt with it at this point.
They're just like, yes, yes, yes, yes.
You should meet my grandmother.
Understood.
Fuck.
You're scarier than me.
Uh, oh.
I'm just wondering how.
I'm drooling over you.
Can I?
With disadvantage.
Damn.
Oh, wait.
Two of these.
That's a two.
So, I have curiosity.
What happened with the chill touch that, uh, failed?
Oh, don't worry about it.
Don't worry at all.
It's still there.
It's hard to take the hit.
The ghostly hand is still stuck into the ground.
And unlike most spells that dissipate after a few,
you seem to have put a little bit more oomph into this one,
and it's sticking around.
Oh, god.
What was that?
That was what, mouth damage again?
What?
Yeah.
Awesome.
I'm almost just going to like pretty much go and grab on to any of the three,
whoever's closest, and just be sticky.
The only person to you would be Gustav at the moment?
Of the three, not of the weird instructors.
Pardon?
So, I assume Felix, Tikal, and Vada are just sort of sobbing silently in a corner somewhere.
He looks just kind of like white Tikal's tears away,
but like his handkerchief is like bloody from like his own accidents.
And this Frenchman is just standing over arrows.
He shouldn't. He's sometimes...
Directly down at you, he just goes, fuck off.
Fuck!
And leaving.
Crazy.
Bye bye, fuck.
Me and I call it love.
But yeah, after this session, everybody please feel free to level up.
A level?
Yes, again.
I mean, I would hope so.
Can we level up now or at the end of the session?
At the end of the session. I'm just telling you now, just in case I forget.
I don't know what I was going to do right now.
That's why I asked.
I did. I'm level three before you get your subclass, and that's pretty big to say.
So, everything being said.
Well...
I feel like I need to say, for the record, upon seeing the Frenchman leave,
Bono is going bye bye, fuck.
Really? Is it like seal or like...
Hey, yes, bye bye.
Sorry, you cut out.
Yes.
You cut out.
Oh, so sorry.
He's just waving goodbye and is like, yes, yes, farewell child.
So, don't be missed.
He calls us like, oh, she's done crying now, but she's sniffling and embarrassed,
so she's facing the wall and refusing to speak to anyone.
Ah, yeah. As is the toddler way.
Yes.
What could go wrong? Did they leave the door open?
Yeah, you guys can explore about the facility.
Isn't it like four or five brooms corded off by fencing,
giant stone walls surrounding?
Do I really need to say what's going to happen to Ivana?
You cannot climb the giant stone walls.
Ha ha.
Doesn't mean they won't try.
All right, then. Go ahead, give it a shot.
It's athletics, right?
Yeah.
What's your movement speed?
13. Let me find it. Walking is 30 feet.
Awesome. So you can climb 15 feet in about a minute,
which is still better than most professional rock climbers,
but after about like 10 minutes, no, like three,
you do see the spectral ghostly form of one of the prophets
staring daggers down at you,
and you feel very compelled to get off this wall.
Go ahead and give me a charisma save.
Okay, I was going to say.
That was a nat 20, motherfucker!
Awesome. So you stare back at this ghost and you're like, you know,
that was a 25 for the record.
Fuck yourself.
And you keep climbing.
You are about halfway up the wall.
You can see the evening light peer over the edge.
The fog from the beautiful day that must be happening outside of
whatever nightmare facility you're trapped in.
As Gustav, of all people, is waiting at the top of the wall,
just waiting down at you.
He's got like a, he's got a little basket.
He puts down a small rope.
He's like, go on.
I'm not going to hurt you.
You're pretty much fine.
Like the rope is to get up or to get down?
Get up.
And for a very rare moment in Vana, not just screaming at the sight of them,
Vana will take the rope and climb up.
Awesome. Beautiful.
With one foul cough, you are thrown into the air by this rope.
And as you land on the edge of the wall, seated and surprisingly comfortable,
your legs and arms have been bound.
And this is when we get the screaming child again.
This time it's repeating, fuck shit, fuck shit, fuck off, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Not your hands, sorry.
Just your feet have been bound.
So if you tried to double back over the wall, Gustav would just be able to, you know, grab you.
And you say that like Vana is really aware of why exactly Gustav did this.
They just know it's a trap.
Oh.
One moment, please. I need to blow my nose.
Okay.
It's okay. I'll keep you guys entertained.
Thank you so much.
And then Vana gets freed and the children get freed.
Yes.
We get to have proper childhood. Yes.
And Gustav is standing there.
Sorry. Eating probably like an entire baguette to himself.
And Vana is absolutely like trying to untie themselves.
Awesome.
Go ahead and give me a slight hand shake with disadvantage.
Okay.
That's a ten.
Awesome. Not even close.
Damn. Where's the shot?
Yeah. Gustav takes a sort of sweet roll.
Well, you don't know what a sweet roll is.
You've never seen this thing in your life.
But it's a bun of bread.
It's got something dripping out the side of it, whether that's oil, cheese or applesauce.
You can't quite tell.
And it's incredible.
You also don't know what that is.
And with his hand about the size of your entire lower half, he just hands it right to you and goes, eat.
You will die if you don't.
Somehow Gustav is on that somehow befriending this child that otherwise is feral.
And yes, Vana will eat it, be very confused and probably make a mess, but willing to eat.
Awesome. Go ahead and give me a Constitution save.
Oh, no.
That's my highest save, so it's fine.
Yeah, that's a 24.
Awesome. It's the most delicious thing you've ever had.
It's not poisoned. There's nothing wrong with it.
It's an apple fritter. Some of the apples are a little raw. It's a bit crunchy.
But hey, that's the taste.
It's probably the best thing you've ever eaten.
And realistically, what are the only things you've ever eaten?
You guys have had a very consistent diet of rice, chicken and potatoes.
Oh, we're on the, we're on the pulmonary now.
You're on that protein diet.
So I'm getting to hear Vana almost, you're like a feral cat when you give them food and they like growl while eating.
Yes.
That's Vana.
As the owner of the food.
Just like devouring.
I do.
Vana is devouring this fritter.
It was a concerning speed and a very aggressive manner of don't you dare try to take this away from me.
As you're just munching on it and just completely destroying this thing, you realize that you're being slowly and carefully lowered back to the ground by Gustav.
He's just sort of got you in his arms like a feral cat, but he's just like with one.
Unfortunately upon realizing, Vana will one shove the fritter into their mouth fully, whatever's left, and immediately start clawing to get back up.
Awesome.
Gustav just grabs the rope tied to your feet and you dangle for a moment, upside down as he slowly descends back to the ground.
Once again, feral Vana.
Just before you're at the bottom, you do finally get out of these bonds.
You pry your legs apart and fall, taking seven points of damage.
And with that, you are back on the ground and for everyone, including Enos, who is home by now, it is dinner time with your very appetizing meal of steamed vegetables and porridge.
Ugh.
You've known nothing else.
Well, no, Felix, you would.
Felix, you hate this shit.
It is bland and tasteless.
It has a very calculated but healthy amount of protein and nutrients.
Vana, this is the only food you've ever eaten.
This is alcohol.
Now I'm a fritter.
Yeah.
You kind of despise going back to this after the god-tier dessert that is an apple fritter.
You're sort of, you're making do.
Tikal, you were fed pretty poorly.
Most of the things you had were, you know, like soup.
Rice.
Soup.
A lot of seafood soup specifically because you grew up in a small little fishing village.
Let's go back to his home cooking meals, please.
You feel like every bite just reminds you of like really awful shepherd's pie that you've tried to make.
I hate shepherd's pie.
I don't know.
How dare you?
I love shepherd's pie.
I know.
I guess I've fed it to the whole population.
I'm so sorry.
But with all that being said, it is the next step.
Real quick, before we move on, just because can Vodafine Gustav again?
Yeah, 100%.
And just how make good food?
How?
See, Gustav, he's sort of sitting in a giant stone chair.
It would be a throne if it wasn't surrounded by other giant stone chairs.
I mean, he's just sort of staring off into the darkness at, well, at something.
You can try and see it if you'd like.
You're still hidden for now.
No, you're just going to walk right up.
Yeah.
Why would Vodafine think that far ahead?
You're going to want to be surprised.
That is far too little to realize you were there.
So he's absolutely terrified.
He'll just appear from God knows where and he pops out of his chair,
grabbing one hand around your entire face and the other holding a dagger right next to the middle of your body.
Ow.
And with that, he drops the dagger, lets go, turns you around very sharply,
just sort of like skinning you along the dirt floor.
It's just like, what in God's name are you doing awake?
How good food?
I stole it from the Frenchman. I have no sweet clue.
Oh.
I have more.
What?
Yeah, they're supposed to be for when one of you does a really good job at something,
but bribery seems to work a little better.
What happened to Gustav's accent?
I would also like to know the answer to that question.
Sorry, I just love, Vodafine scares the living shit out of this guy after scaling a wall out of spite.
I just gave him so hard his voice went away.
I'm getting blinded with treats.
Yeah, like a feral cat.
Yeah, that's how you befriend a feral cat, Ken confirmed.
He sort of, he puts a finger to his lips, shushing you and is like, I will get more.
More?
More.
Sleep.
Go back to bed.
Sleep.
Why?
God, because I need to sleep.
And if you're awake, I need to make sure you're not climbing any more buildings.
Building.
Walls.
The things around you.
Awful thing.
Go.
Yeah.
Okay.
He seems so tired.
Or like the oracle.
I was just going to like stare for a moment, look at the chair thing, like kind of poke it weirdly,
before looking over to him and just, you tired.
Yes.
Go.
What?
Go.
With all of the like, you're such a dumbass energy and expression that a seven year old can have on us telling him to go as if that makes any sense.
He trunks, walks forwards just beyond what you can see, picking up a very large greatsword with a gem in the middle, before sheathing it over his back and sitting back in the chair, closing his eyes, and for a while going to sleep.
And then he just nods to themselves as if this is some major accomplishment, which for them might as well be.
It just actually goes back to their room.
Oh shit, I didn't expect that.
I expected some evening shenanigans.
Alright.
Well, I think most people did.
With all that, it's the next day.
This is, again, one of those days, normal simple day.
Eros is not supposed to come to the training facility.
But whether or not they do anyways is entirely their decision.
You're gonna go?
Yes.
Are you sleeping out or are you saying you're going?
Just heading right.
Just heading right out.
Not sneaking per se, just going.
A little note, like, gone to hell.
Gone to hell.
It smells terrible.
Like G-O-N to H-L-P.
H-L-P.
B-B-S, right?
It's just a bunch of like B-L-P.
Isn't it?
And yeah, as you make your way there, can you go ahead and give me a perception check?
Using Eros in order to get all the lore in, not Alil just ignored?
Yes.
And it's Vada, not Alil.
So that's 19.
19, awesome.
Those are my characters, I'm used to it.
There's something in these woods.
Something magical, something powerful, and something you need to find.
As soon as you sort of become aware of its existence, it is as if you are incomplete without it, without even knowing what it is.
You get this intense drive to search, find, tear the forest to pieces to get something.
Damn.
But before you can act on these thoughts, one of the prophets appears behind you and just pushes you the rest of the way.
Not even, not asking, not giving a second for thought, just slowly pushing this child.
And with that, on a day, they're not even supposed to be here.
As you're all just like chilling out, it's meal time, you're eating probably oatmeal, raw, unseasoned, not raw, sorry, unseasoned oatmeal, maybe a bit of vanilla in it, you know, as a reward.
And you see, Eros, just come in.
They're not supposed to be there.
This is a wonderful surprise for all of you.
Boom!
Awesome, Vade, go ahead and give me a wisdom save.
Fuck!
That is a nine.
Awesome.
There's something missing.
You had something.
It's gone.
It's in the forest somewhere.
You need it.
Oh, God.
Anybody else?
Eros, Eros is going to be like, do you want to eat my oatmeal?
Awesome.
Give me a wisdom save.
All the instructors are like, oh, fuck.
I got a 15.
Awesome.
There's something in the woods.
It's yours.
It's powerful.
You get this sense that it's magic itself.
All the other worries you have about not being a good hero, because you're not strong enough, will be solved when you find what you've lost.
Felix is just immediately thinking, can I cast Fireball now with that thing?
No, you came across that.
You physically interacted with these objects.
Now they've like, got you.
Take all.
Sorry, my dad came outside.
I am lost.
Am I also making a wisdom save?
So you can look at anybody who's made a wisdom save and failed it?
Am I looking at anybody who's made a wisdom save?
Yeah.
Are you looking at any of the other heroes?
Probably with hatred in her eyes.
Yeah.
Awesome.
Go ahead and give me a wisdom save.
That's a nine.
Awesome.
Yeah.
There's something in the woods.
You know, prize of all surprise, you feel like you need it.
It feels familiar to you.
This feeling of missing something, of not knowing what you're missing.
It's not something you haven't felt before, but this feels more tangible.
This is an option.
You can go and get it.
And it might be your death.
It could be.
Pick it inside.
Alil is like just going to spring up from whatever table there's being forced to eat at.
And should I try to book it for a door?
Yeah, go ahead and give me a death trap.
There it is.
That's a 15.
Awesome.
The door is still open.
You all have a chance.
You all have a moment.
You all have an opportunity.
You can get out.
For the first time, probably ever, you see the open fields and forest, and you think you have a shot.
Tikal runs.
Awesome.
Anybody else?
Oh, well, Alil is awesome.
Everyone's booking it.
It's a field trip.
The forklift is immediately chasing after you.
He drops his bowl of leftover oatmeal with brown sugar, vanilla, and sprinkles in it, because he's weird like that.
And he is just looking after you.
Three prophets stand at the door and do nothing.
Any of you would like to make an insight investigation or perception check before you get out?
Arcana checks are also fine.
No, just one check per person.
I'm going to do an Arcana.
Arcana or insight, you said?
Arcana, insight, perception, investigation.
16.
13.
So that's a non-pat 20.
Beautiful.
Dirty 20 for you.
I'm going to add 12 for perception.
Perception.
What did you roll again?
Insight.
Awesome.
I got a 14 for investigation.
Thank you.
It seems really odd, but yeah, the prophets, the three of them perched at the door as they always are, stopping your escape at every possible chance.
They're doing nothing.
Hell, that's cool.
It almost looks like one of them is holding the door open.
I just want to congratulate everyone for picking a different role to do that was actually so smooth.
Well, I'm running out of things.
Sorry, guys.
I forgot something.
Bye.
Let's do this several times.
They just fucking booked it.
Who made the Arcana check?
Me.
Awesome.
Anna.
You're all good?
What did you get on the Arcana check?
13.
Awesome.
There's something to the woods.
It's very magical.
They're in a cave.
They're underground.
You'll need to find the cave entrance, and you'll need to probably fight your way to them.
Bet.
Who made the perception check?
I did.
Awesome.
What did you get?
12.
The Frenchman is absolutely booking it.
This guy is waiting on you with every step.
And you see him take out this beautiful right here.
The sort of hand guard is seemingly custom made.
It's got his name engraved on it.
It does not say Jean.
Crazy.
It says something with much more letters than that.
So he gave us a nickname, I guess?
I knew it!
His name is actually Jean Valjean.
No, it's 24601.
Damn, that was the... yeah, okay.
I'll die now.
Who made the investigation check?
Me.
What did you get?
14.
Awesome.
Gustave and Clara don't look like they're running to catch you.
They look like they're trying to stop Jean.
Oh, you want to kill us?
Gustave specifically has this sort of solid look in his eyes.
Like, he's been warned about something,
and the Frenchman is not in on whatever secret is letting you guys get the fuck out of here.
And with that, you breach the gates, breathe in the open air for the first time in like six months
of just hard training, awful food, and honestly even worse instructors.
Gustave is generally nice, but the rest of them are kind of jackasses.
You almost left it over.
But with that, you're in the forest.
There's something here, you need it, and I will see you all next week.
Thank you for joining us in Terra di Oso.
We'll see you next time.