Okay, so ready to dive into something kind of fun.
Yeah.
It might seem, I don't know,
light and bubbly on the surface,
but it actually has a whole bunch of hidden etiquette.
Being a guest at a wedding dress shopping trip.
Ooh.
You've probably seen the movies, right?
The Champagne, the Happy Tears.
But trust me, there's a lot more to it
than meets the eye.
Right.
So today we're gonna give you all the info you need
so you can be the best possible support system
for your bride to be.
Absolutely, and to do that,
we're gonna go straight to the source.
Yes.
Daria Capaldi.
Okay.
Manager of Dariana Bridal & Tuxedo.
That sounds fancy.
She's amazing, a total expert in all things bridal.
Okay.
Her article, guest etiquette tips
when wedding dress shopping.
Is that right?
On the Dariana Bridal & Tuxedo website.
Got it.
It's packed with insights.
Yeah.
From over a decade of her experience.
And let me tell you,
some of these tips are real eye-openers.
Yeah.
It's not just about gushing over every dress.
There are some surprisingly common things
that guests do that can actually hurt the bride.
Oh, absolutely.
It's a delicate balance between being supportive
and letting the bride lead the way.
Yeah.
One of the biggest things Daria stresses
is letting the bride speak first.
Interesting, okay.
She actually tells the story about a bride
who found the dress.
Oh, wow.
Came out beaming.
Right.
And the first thing a guest said was,
I don't like that one at all.
Oh.
Imagine the deflation.
Oh, yeah.
That's got to sting.
Right.
And I bet it puts the bride on the defensive right.
Oh, yeah.
Like now she has to justify why she likes it.
Exactly.
Remember, she's already in a vulnerable position.
Right.
You know, seeking validation from her loved ones.
Sure.
So that early negative feedback
can really throw her off balance.
Oh, yeah.
Make her doubt herself.
Totally, okay, that makes sense.
Yeah.
And then she's thinking about the flip side.
What if the bride is clearly struggling to make a decision?
Yeah, yeah.
Or seems to be gravitating towards a dress that,
well, maybe isn't the most flattering.
Yeah.
Is it ever okay to offer an opinion then?
That's where it gets tricky.
Okay.
While honesty is important,
Daria emphasizes being gentle with your words.
Even when you're trying to be helpful.
She says to focus on the dress,
not the bride.
Okay.
So instead of saying,
that dress makes you look boxy.
Right.
You could try, that dress is kind of a little boxy.
Okay.
It's a subtle shift.
Right.
But it avoids making it a personal critique.
Oh, I see, so it's like you're giving feedback
on the design of the dress,
not on how it looks on her.
Exactly, and it's about knowing the bride too.
Right.
Is she someone who wants your honest opinion,
even if it's not sugarcoated?
Or is she more sensitive and needs reassurance?
You have to tailor your approach accordingly.
You know, that reminds me of a time
I went dress shopping with a friend.
Do tell.
Well, she was trying on this dress.
Uh-huh.
And it just wasn't doing her any favors.
Okay.
But she was so excited about it.
No.
I was like, how do I tell her?
Right.
This is not the one.
Yeah.
Without crushing her.
That's the eternal dilemma.
I did actually.
Okay, good.
I asked her, how do you feel in this dress?
Uh-huh.
You know what?
What?
She paused.
And said, you know, now that you mention it.
Right.
I don't feel as comfortable in it as I thought I would.
Wow.
So simply prompting her to reflect on her own feelings
was enough to guide her in the right direction.
It avoided any awkwardness or hurt feelings.
That's a perfect example of how sometimes
just a little nudge towards self-reflection
can be more helpful than offering your own opinion.
I like that.
Yeah.
Okay, so we've talked about letting the bride speak first.
Mm-hmm.
Be mindful of our words.
What's another key etiquette tip?
Well, this one might seem obvious.
Okay.
But it's worth emphasizing.
Okay.
The bride guides the appointment.
Got it.
You're there to support.
Right.
Not to take over.
Yeah, I can totally see how that could go wrong.
Right.
Like the overzealous friend who starts pulling dresses.
Oh yeah.
That are way out of budget.
Or insists on a veil.
Yeah.
The bride said she doesn't want one.
Precisely.
Daria actually mentions guests.
Really?
Who try to dictate the entire appointment.
Oh wow.
Pulling dresses, the bride has no interest
in pushing their own style preferences.
Gotcha.
On to her.
Okay.
It's all about respecting boundaries.
Right.
Remembering that this is her moment.
Right, it's her big day, not yours.
Exactly.
And it's easy to get caught up in the excitement.
Mm-hmm.
Forget that.
You have to be mindful of that power dynamic.
Yeah.
Make sure we're not unintentionally
steamrolling the bride.
Totally.
Daria gives some great advice.
Oh yeah.
On how to phrase things.
Okay.
Like instead of saying you have to try on a mermaid style.
Right.
You could ask, have you considered trying a mermaid style?
I love that.
Right.
It's a simple change.
Yeah.
But it gives the bride control.
Yeah.
Empowers her to make her own decision.
Okay, so we've covered letting the bride speak first.
Mm-hmm.
Being careful with our words.
Yes.
Making sure we're not hijacking the appointment.
Right.
What else should guests keep in mind?
Well, this next one.
Okay.
Is something a lot of people don't realize.
Oh no, what is it?
Wedding dress sizing.
Okay.
Is different.
Oh really?
From regular clothing sizes.
That's crazy.
They know, right?
I had no idea.
Daria says wedding dresses typically run
one to two sizes smaller.
Wow.
Than street clothes.
Okay.
And she tells this story.
Uh-oh.
About a plus size bride.
Mm-hmm.
Who was having a great time.
Yeah.
Trying on dresses.
Until a guest starts pulling size six gowns.
Oh no.
Cringe.
Talk about missing the mark.
It just goes to show.
Yeah.
That even with the best intentions.
Right.
Guests can make some pretty major faux pas.
Yeah.
If they're not aware of the nuances of bridal fashion.
Okay, so what's the takeaway here?
I think it's two-fold.
Okay.
First, be mindful of the bride size.
Right.
Second, you know what will fit her.
Yeah.
And second, if you're ever unsure.
Uh-huh.
Just defer to the bridal stylist.
Oh, good point.
They're the experts after all.
Makes sense.
Right.
All right, so we got the dress situation covered.
Okay.
But what about the emotional side of things?
What are some tips for supporting the bride's feelings?
That's a great question.
Yeah.
It leads us to one of Daria's most important points.
Okay.
Don't steal a bride's moment.
Ooh, I remember this part of the article.
Yeah.
She talks about the bride who has found the dress.
Right.
She's ready to say yes.
Uh-huh.
Then a guest chimes in with,
you can't say yes now, you have to sleep on it.
Talk about a buzzkill.
Exactly, it's such a classic example
of well-meaning but ultimately unhelpful advice.
So why is that such a big no-no?
Well, think about it from the bride's perspective.
Okay.
She's finally found the dress of her dreams.
She's emotional.
Right.
She's excited.
She's ready to commit.
Wow.
And then someone throws a wrench in the works.
Right.
Telling her to second-guess herself.
Totally.
That's like taking a pin.
Yeah.
To her balloon of excitement.
It totally takes away from that magical yes moment, right?
Absolutely, and while it's true.
Yeah.
That some brides might benefit
from taking some time to think things over.
Sure.
That decision should entirely up to them.
It goes back to respecting her boundaries.
Exactly.
Pressing her judgment.
Plus, as Daria points out,
that initial yes moment is so special.
Yeah.
Even if she comes back later and buys the dress,
it's not quite the same feeling.
There's a certain magic that happens.
Sure.
In the moment when she's surrounded by her loved ones.
Right.
Makes that decision from the heart.
Okay, so we've covered a lot of ground here.
We have.
We've talked about letting the bride speak first,
being gentle with our words.
Right.
Respecting her boundaries.
Yeah.
Understanding the quirks of wedding dress sizing.
Mm-hmm.
And not stealing her moment.
Right.
Phew.
That's a lot to keep in mind.
It is, but it's all about being a supportive
and thoughtful guest.
Right.
And thankfully, Daria gives us some super practical advice
in the form of specific phrases
to avoid helpful alternatives to use.
Oh yeah, I was just getting to that.
Okay.
She has a whole section.
It does.
On cringe-worthy comments
that guests should never say.
Right.
Like, you look fat in that.
Oh my gosh.
Or, your fiancee will hate that.
Right.
I mean, come on, people.
No.
Who actually says those things?
Right.
It's astonishing, but sadly, it happens more often.
Oh wow.
Than you might think.
Okay.
That's why Daria's advice is so valuable.
Right.
She gives us a roadmap for how to be encouraging.
Yeah.
Without crossing the line.
So what are some of those cringe-worthy phrases
we should avoid at all costs?
Yeah.
And more importantly,
what are some better alternatives we can use instead?
Right.
We'll dive into those right after this quick break.
That's good.
All right, so let's get into some
of those cringe-worthy phrases.
Okay, yeah.
One that Daria specifically calls out is,
you look fat in that.
Oh my gosh.
I mean, seriously.
Who says that?
No.
To a bride trying on wedding dresses.
It's her wedding day.
Right.
She's supposed to feel beautiful and confident.
Exactly.
Last thing she needs.
Right.
And making her feel self-conscious about her body.
And it's not just about being hurtful.
No.
It's also completely unhelpful.
Yeah.
It doesn't give her any constructive feedback
about the dress.
Right.
Right, so what's a better way to approach it?
Okay.
If you're genuinely concerned about how a dress looks.
Daria suggests focusing on how the dress fits.
Or drapes.
Okay.
For example, instead of saying,
that dress makes you look wide.
Right.
You could say something like,
that dress seems a little snug in the hips.
Do you feel comfortable moving around in it?
Okay, yeah, that's much more tactful.
Right.
It's about being honest.
Right.
But also being kind and respectful.
Exactly.
Another phrase Daria says to avoid.
Okay.
Is, your fiancee will hate that.
Ooh, that's a bad one.
It's like you're bringing a whole other person's
opinion into the mix.
Yeah.
Putting pressure on the bride.
Right.
To please someone else.
The focus should be on what the bride wants.
Right.
How she feels in the dress.
Exactly.
It's her day, and she should be the one
making the decisions.
So what's a better way to phrase it,
if you're concerned.
Okay.
That a dress might not, you know,
be aligned with her, or the groom's overall vision.
You could try something like,
that dress is beautiful, but does it feel like you?
Does it fit the style you've been envisioning
for your wedding?
I like that.
Yeah, it gently prompts her to think.
Right.
About the bigger picture.
Yeah.
Without imposing your own opinions.
I love that, it encourages her to reflect
on her own vision for the day.
Exactly, and that's what it's all about, right?
Right.
Helping the bride find a dress
that makes her feel confident, beautiful.
Right.
And true to herself.
Okay, so we've talked about some of the phrases to avoid.
What are some positive, supportive things
guests should say?
Okay, Daria suggests focusing on
how the bride feels in the dress.
Okay.
So instead of saying, that dress is amazing,
you could ask, how do you feel in that dress?
Does it make you feel beautiful?
Yeah.
Confident, like a bride?
I see, it's all about her experience.
Right.
Not just our opinions on the dress itself.
You can also offer specific compliments
that focus on her best features.
Like, that neckline really accentuates
your beautiful shoulders.
Well, yeah.
Or that silhouette shows off your gorgeous curves.
Those are great.
Yeah, it's about celebrating her,
making her feel special.
Sometimes the best thing you can say is simply,
I can see you getting married in that dress.
Oh, I love that.
Short, sweet, captures that magical feeling
of finding the one.
It acknowledges the emotion of the moment.
Yeah.
Without overwhelming the bride.
Right.
With a million opinions.
All right, so we've covered a lot
of the big picture etiquette tips.
But Daria's article also has a bunch
of smaller practical tips that can make a big difference.
Absolutely.
These are those little things
that guests might not even think about,
but can really enhance the day for everyone involved.
Okay, hit me with those practical tips.
First up, bring hair ties.
Oh, that's a good one.
It sounds simple, but it can be super helpful
for the bride to be able to pull her hair back
so she can see the neckline.
Especially if she has long hair.
Yeah.
It can be hard to envision how a dress will look
with her hair up or down.
Exactly, another tip.
Okay.
Eat beforehand.
Oh, that's important.
Apparently hanger is a real thing.
Yeah, I can totally see that.
It's a long process.
Yeah.
It can be emotionally draining.
You don't wanna be dealing with a rumbling stomach.
No, no.
On top of everything else.
And it's not just about the bride.
Right.
If the guests are hungry and cranky,
that can affect the whole vibe of the appointment.
Right, so grab a snack before you head to the salon.
Good tip.
And speaking of vibes.
Okay.
Daria recommends keeping the guest list small.
Oh, okay.
Especially for the first appointment.
Makes sense.
Too many opinions can overwhelm the bride.
Oh, I learned that one the hard way.
Oh no, what happened?
I once went dress shopping with a friend
who brought her entire extended family.
Oh my goodness.
Just like a circus.
Oh wow.
Everyone had an opinion.
My friend was so flustered trying to please everyone.
Right.
She completely lost sight of what she wanted.
That's a perfect example of why it's so important
to keep the group small and intimate.
Right.
At least for that initial appointment.
Yeah.
Allows the bride to feel more relaxed and focused.
Well, that's a good number to aim for.
Daria suggests two to three.
Okay.
Close friends or family members.
Got it, keep it small and supportive.
Yes, and here's one that might seem obvious.
Right.
But it bears repeating.
Okay.
Don't jump up for every dress the bride tries on.
Right.
Let'll guide the pace.
It can be tempting.
Right.
To want to see her in every single dress.
Oh yeah.
But it's important to respect her energy levels.
Exactly.
Let her take breaks when she needs them.
It's her day.
Yeah.
She should set the pace.
Makes sense.
Another important tip, don't go into the fitting room.
Oh, okay.
Unless you're invited.
That seems pretty self-explanatory.
You'd be surprised.
Yeah.
How many people overstep that boundary.
Wow, okay.
The fitting room is the bride's private space.
Sure.
To get dressed and feel comfortable.
It's important to respect that.
So hands off the fitting room door.
Exactly.
Unless you're specifically asked to come in.
And finally, one of the most important
practical tips Daria offers.
Okay.
Is to trust the stylist.
Oh yes.
They're the experts after all.
Let them do their job.
Exactly.
Resist the urge to micromanage the appointment.
Trust the process and let the stylist work their magic.
Okay, so we've covered a lot of ground here.
We have.
From big picture etiquette tips.
Right.
To practical advice on how to be a supportive
and helpful guest.
Yes.
At a wedding dress shopping trip.
And I think the key takeaway here
is that it's all about being mindful and respectful.
Yeah.
Of the bride's experience.
Absolutely.
It's her day and we're there to celebrate her.
Right.
Help her find the dress of her dreams.
So next time you're invited to a wedding dress
shopping extravaganza.
Oh.
Remember these tips.
Yes.
You'll be the MVP guest for sure.
You got it.
But before you go.
Okay.
We have one final thought provoking question.
Ooh, I like it.
For you to ponder.
Yeah.
We've talked about all the things you shouldn't do
as a guest at a wedding dress shopping trip.
Right.
But now I'm curious.
Okay.
What's one thing you can do.
Yeah.
To be like an amazing guest.
That truly supportive friend.
Right.
Who makes the experience even more special.
That's such a great question.
Right.
Is it about being the person who keeps the energy
positive and fun.
Yeah. Yeah.
No matter what dresses get tried on.
Or is it about being that quiet calming presence.
Right.
For a bride who might be feeling overwhelmed.
Maybe it's being the one who remembers to bring the snacks.
Oh, that's a good one.
Cause let's be real.
Hangers can strike at any moment.
You know, you're absolutely right.
Sometimes the most supportive thing you can do
is anticipate the bride's needs.
Right.
Before she even realizes she has them.
Yeah.
A little foresight goes a long way.
It really does.
I think it's also about being present.
Putting your phone away.
Yes.
Actively listening to the bride's thoughts and feelings.
Absolutely.
Truly being there in the moment with her.
That's so important.
Yeah.
Wedding dress shopping is such a personal
and emotional experience.
Right.
And having someone there who's fully present
and engaged makes all the difference.
It's about being her cheerleader.
Right.
Her confidant partner in crime.
Exactly.
As she embarks on this exciting journey.
It's about creating a safe and supportive space
for her to explore her options, express her feelings,
and ultimately find a dress that makes her feel
like the best version of herself.
So as we wrap up this deep dive.
Okay.
Into wedding dress shopping guest etiquette.
Mm-hmm.
I wanna leave you with this.
Okay.
Think about the brides.
You know? Yeah.
Their personalities.
Uh-huh.
Their styles.
Right.
What kind of support would they need from US
to make their dress shopping experience truly special?
Keep that question in mind.
Yeah.
The next time you find yourself invited
to a bridal salon.
Right.
And remember, whether you're sipping champagne,
offering compliments, simply holding in the bride's hand
as she steps onto the pedestal.
Yeah.
Your presence and support mean the world to her.
And if you wanna dive deeper into any other topic.
Yay.
Wedding related or otherwise.
Mm-hmm.
Send us your sources.
Yes.
We'll create a deep dive just for you.
Awesome.
Until next time.
Okay.
Happy learning.