WEBVTT 00:00:10.030 --> 00:00:12.390 Peace, peace, peace. I am Dr. Philip Rowntree 00:00:12.390 --> 00:00:14.769 and you are tuned into Hashtag You Good Man, 00:00:15.089 --> 00:00:17.649 a men's wellness conversation. This is a safe 00:00:17.649 --> 00:00:20.649 space where we invite you into open, honest dialogue 00:00:20.649 --> 00:00:23.510 around our healing, our health, and our attempts 00:00:23.510 --> 00:00:26.329 at holding it all together in real time. This 00:00:26.329 --> 00:00:28.850 week, I'm joined by a brother whose work lives 00:00:28.850 --> 00:00:32.289 at the intersection of story, strategy, and soul, 00:00:32.929 --> 00:00:35.810 Donnie Moreland Jr. He's a multidisciplinary 00:00:35.810 --> 00:00:39.030 artist, storyteller, health educator and brand 00:00:39.030 --> 00:00:41.670 strategist. He's a founding member of Fellowship 00:00:41.670 --> 00:00:44.649 of the Grio, where Donnie is helping build community 00:00:44.649 --> 00:00:46.789 through the voices of Black writers and their 00:00:46.789 --> 00:00:49.829 allies. He's also the author of My Daddy Never 00:00:49.829 --> 00:00:52.770 Taught Me How to Write a Love Song, a lyrical 00:00:52.770 --> 00:00:56.009 and vulnerable meditation on love, legacy, and 00:00:56.009 --> 00:00:58.450 fatherhood through the eyes of a Black man raising 00:00:58.450 --> 00:01:01.450 a Black daughter. I definitely feel that. Donnie, 00:01:01.469 --> 00:01:04.219 welcome to the show, man. I appreciate you having 00:01:04.219 --> 00:01:07.219 me. Yeah, I was looking forward to this conversation. 00:01:07.560 --> 00:01:10.480 So yeah, I appreciate the invitation. No doubt, 00:01:10.640 --> 00:01:13.060 no doubt. So before we dive into the conversation, 00:01:13.140 --> 00:01:15.099 I want to ask you the most important question 00:01:15.099 --> 00:01:17.900 I'll ask you today. You ready for it? For sure. 00:01:19.120 --> 00:01:22.260 How are you really feeling? Or more succinctly, 00:01:22.519 --> 00:01:26.200 you good man? Oh man, about an hour ago I had 00:01:26.200 --> 00:01:29.099 an incredibly intensive therapy session with 00:01:29.099 --> 00:01:30.959 my therapist. I hadn't seen her in about two 00:01:30.959 --> 00:01:34.219 months. So I'm still processing a lot of what 00:01:34.219 --> 00:01:37.060 she put down. And I told her at the top when 00:01:37.060 --> 00:01:41.439 we first met, don't hold back. I've been in therapy 00:01:41.439 --> 00:01:43.739 since I was a teenager. Like, let's just get 00:01:43.739 --> 00:01:46.659 into it. I have these needs and she been... Should 00:01:46.659 --> 00:01:48.819 be going at it. So today was one of them ones. 00:01:49.959 --> 00:01:52.219 So if I got that look in my eyes, like that's 00:01:52.219 --> 00:01:54.239 my, I'm still, you know, but that's perfect. 00:01:54.299 --> 00:01:55.760 That's perfect. You know, to kind of come into 00:01:55.760 --> 00:02:00.159 this platform with that energy. Yeah. So for 00:02:00.159 --> 00:02:02.040 sure. Thank you for that. To answer the question, 00:02:02.099 --> 00:02:06.340 I'm here. No, and sometimes that's where we are. 00:02:06.459 --> 00:02:09.060 Right. That's where we are with it. Right. Sometimes 00:02:09.060 --> 00:02:11.620 we look for the extraordinary, but the ordinary 00:02:11.620 --> 00:02:14.360 can be extraordinary. We need to be present as 00:02:14.360 --> 00:02:17.400 often as possible. Listen, as a therapist myself. 00:02:18.069 --> 00:02:21.710 that post -therapy clarity, it'll have you like, 00:02:22.069 --> 00:02:24.930 who am I cutting off today? What has happened 00:02:24.930 --> 00:02:27.849 in my life? I need to make a thousand changes, 00:02:28.509 --> 00:02:31.189 right? So it's like fresh out the gym, right? 00:02:31.349 --> 00:02:34.030 Or fresh out something where it's just like you're 00:02:34.030 --> 00:02:36.610 energized, but you're contemplative, right? So 00:02:36.610 --> 00:02:39.349 I appreciate you being vulnerable enough to share 00:02:39.349 --> 00:02:42.750 that, right? And let folk know, listen, Therapy 00:02:42.750 --> 00:02:46.090 is a is another safe space, right? And it's an 00:02:46.090 --> 00:02:49.069 important space where us as black men specifically 00:02:49.069 --> 00:02:52.169 need to find ourselves where we can have these 00:02:52.169 --> 00:02:55.090 these healthy conversations that include healthy 00:02:55.090 --> 00:02:57.370 pushback. So again, I appreciate you for that. 00:02:57.569 --> 00:03:01.469 So so. So with that being said, right, I want 00:03:01.469 --> 00:03:03.669 to pause and name something that's been heavy 00:03:03.669 --> 00:03:07.310 on a lot of us. The passing of Malcolm Jamal 00:03:07.310 --> 00:03:10.659 Warner. That hit us hard. So Donnie what came 00:03:10.659 --> 00:03:14.939 up for you when you heard the news? Oh Man, so 00:03:14.939 --> 00:03:17.900 um, I was driving to get some lunch yesterday 00:03:17.900 --> 00:03:20.319 I got a text message from another poet here in 00:03:20.319 --> 00:03:25.219 Houston and um, they broke the news Of course, 00:03:25.219 --> 00:03:27.099 you know, some folks know that Michael Jamal 00:03:27.099 --> 00:03:29.659 Warner was a poet or the damn good with that 00:03:29.659 --> 00:03:32.419 You know some folks don't but like, you know, 00:03:32.419 --> 00:03:35.340 I know him as it's an actor But then later on 00:03:35.340 --> 00:03:40.020 down the line knew his work as a poet And that 00:03:40.020 --> 00:03:43.099 was context of why the other poet hit me up. 00:03:44.139 --> 00:03:47.460 I immediately called my mother. And the reason 00:03:47.460 --> 00:03:52.900 I called her was because there's one thing that 00:03:52.900 --> 00:03:55.039 she's allowed me, Space Force, I've gotten older, 00:03:56.060 --> 00:04:01.900 is to be a container for conversations about 00:04:01.900 --> 00:04:05.000 things I don't understand. Even if she doesn't 00:04:05.000 --> 00:04:07.479 have an answer. If there are things you don't 00:04:07.479 --> 00:04:09.340 understand, you can call me. Whenever you're 00:04:09.340 --> 00:04:15.039 confused, you can call me. And I just had this 00:04:15.039 --> 00:04:17.480 heaviness on me. I don't know Michael Jamal Warner, 00:04:17.660 --> 00:04:21.600 right? It is not like a... I didn't have some 00:04:21.600 --> 00:04:24.040 intensive relationship with his acting or his 00:04:24.040 --> 00:04:28.600 work, you know, but there's something about just... 00:04:28.670 --> 00:04:32.930 life, living, the susceptibility that we all 00:04:32.930 --> 00:04:37.550 have. I mean, we're all gonna pass on, but we 00:04:37.550 --> 00:04:41.310 think about our relationship with death, especially 00:04:41.310 --> 00:04:43.730 as black men, early transition, and we recognize 00:04:43.730 --> 00:04:48.629 the accident, but still, it's on you, right? 00:04:48.629 --> 00:04:54.490 It's like 54, it's like, man, 32. And so I was 00:04:54.490 --> 00:04:59.490 talking to her just about my thoughts I've been 00:04:59.490 --> 00:05:02.149 having a lot lately just about how we affirm 00:05:02.149 --> 00:05:06.930 life and, you know, how do we sustain a measure 00:05:06.930 --> 00:05:10.129 of sacrality around life and living, especially 00:05:10.129 --> 00:05:12.529 when we come from, you know, conditions where 00:05:12.529 --> 00:05:17.069 we've been dehumanized to the point of it being 00:05:17.069 --> 00:05:19.959 policy, right? Like it being policy. So we hear, 00:05:20.060 --> 00:05:21.560 right? It's like, I ask the question all the 00:05:21.560 --> 00:05:23.720 time, like, what does it mean to be bred? Like, 00:05:23.860 --> 00:05:27.980 that's the beginning conversation for us, right? 00:05:27.980 --> 00:05:29.480 Like, we're not talking about the history of 00:05:29.480 --> 00:05:32.819 Africa, but like, as Black folk in this country, 00:05:33.040 --> 00:05:37.579 like, what does it mean to be bred? So, you know, 00:05:37.579 --> 00:05:39.899 not to get too heady about it, but it's like 00:05:39.899 --> 00:05:45.060 the idea of like, affirming life. Like, what 00:05:45.060 --> 00:05:47.819 does that mean in practice, right? Because it's 00:05:47.819 --> 00:05:50.189 like, You know, we look up, we lost Brenda Flack 00:05:50.189 --> 00:05:51.870 this year. And I do believe there's something 00:05:51.870 --> 00:05:55.689 to be said about, you know, people that use their 00:05:55.689 --> 00:06:02.250 creativity to allow space for folks to feel or 00:06:02.250 --> 00:06:05.490 engage with love, feel or engage with joy. I 00:06:05.490 --> 00:06:08.129 feel like when those folks, when, you know, when 00:06:08.129 --> 00:06:10.769 they pass on, we are missing something. There 00:06:10.769 --> 00:06:12.990 is something missing. It's not categorizing them, 00:06:13.089 --> 00:06:15.009 putting them in hierarchy, you know, people pass, 00:06:15.029 --> 00:06:18.740 but it's just like, we talk about how it is someone 00:06:18.740 --> 00:06:23.199 uses their life, right? To put out, you know, 00:06:23.259 --> 00:06:27.100 whether it be messaging, art, you know, their 00:06:27.100 --> 00:06:29.560 principles like that has to do with like sustaining 00:06:29.560 --> 00:06:32.040 joy, sustaining love. When that person is gone, 00:06:32.220 --> 00:06:35.860 it does feel like something missing. We're not 00:06:35.860 --> 00:06:38.019 gonna get that back, right? We're not gonna get 00:06:38.019 --> 00:06:42.160 that back. And so, you know, it's just talking 00:06:42.160 --> 00:06:45.329 to her just about like, you know, again. creating 00:06:45.329 --> 00:06:47.790 space for affirming life and how to do that, 00:06:47.790 --> 00:06:50.350 how to do that in my work, right? Like, especially 00:06:50.350 --> 00:06:57.149 like creating space for, for affirming life amongst 00:06:57.149 --> 00:07:01.709 us, right? You know, amongst us, because, you 00:07:01.709 --> 00:07:03.389 know, there's a different strategy, different 00:07:03.389 --> 00:07:05.889 practice I feel like, different conversations 00:07:05.889 --> 00:07:09.889 to be had. And so it hit me, it hit me the way 00:07:09.889 --> 00:07:14.439 I wasn't expecting, but, you know, It was a long 00:07:14.439 --> 00:07:16.759 -standing conversation I've just been having 00:07:16.759 --> 00:07:20.439 about, like, sacrality in life, affirming life, 00:07:20.800 --> 00:07:24.120 and how, as an artist, you know, how you do that 00:07:24.120 --> 00:07:27.980 and provide space for that. Well, listen, I appreciate 00:07:27.980 --> 00:07:29.740 you sharing that. And I'll offer my thoughts 00:07:29.740 --> 00:07:33.220 on Malcolm Jamal Warner a bit later. But what 00:07:33.220 --> 00:07:35.339 I will say is, for so many of us, especially 00:07:35.339 --> 00:07:37.839 Black men of a certain age, Malcolm represented 00:07:37.839 --> 00:07:40.899 something real. right he was for many of us he 00:07:40.899 --> 00:07:44.220 was the first one to show us tenderness to show 00:07:44.220 --> 00:07:46.240 us what it looked like to grapple with identity 00:07:46.240 --> 00:07:49.600 emotions and relationships and public and so 00:07:49.600 --> 00:07:52.180 that's what and that's part of what makes your 00:07:52.180 --> 00:07:55.660 book so so needed and so timely so i want to 00:07:55.660 --> 00:08:00.639 get into that right so your book my daddy never 00:08:00.639 --> 00:08:03.500 taught me how to write a love song why this book 00:08:03.500 --> 00:08:08.720 why now Oh man, I mean, you know, there's a lot 00:08:08.720 --> 00:08:10.839 of answers to that, but I try to keep it succinct. 00:08:11.779 --> 00:08:13.720 You know, it was, it was now or never really, 00:08:13.959 --> 00:08:15.759 right? Like I've been working on different iterations 00:08:15.759 --> 00:08:18.660 of this book for the last 10 years, and specifically 00:08:18.660 --> 00:08:21.100 within this iteration, which covers, you know, 00:08:21.180 --> 00:08:23.439 kind of my becoming a father, then becoming a 00:08:23.439 --> 00:08:25.079 quote unquote single father. I'm trying to move 00:08:25.079 --> 00:08:27.319 away from that, you know, that language. It has 00:08:27.319 --> 00:08:29.180 a particular connotation I don't appreciate, 00:08:30.180 --> 00:08:33.460 but either way, like being the primary caretaker 00:08:33.460 --> 00:08:38.129 for my child, you know, there's a story that 00:08:38.129 --> 00:08:41.929 comes with that, that I needed to exercise. And 00:08:41.929 --> 00:08:46.789 I wrote the book, I wrote this iteration over 00:08:46.789 --> 00:08:49.730 the course of like three months, and then, you 00:08:49.730 --> 00:08:52.409 know, worked to get it in a publishable shape, 00:08:52.769 --> 00:08:54.870 and then get it published. You know, part of 00:08:54.870 --> 00:08:56.570 being a publisher is like, you get rejection, 00:08:56.789 --> 00:08:58.929 rejections, rejections, being like, I'm moving 00:08:58.929 --> 00:09:00.970 on from the story. I'm not gonna want to be talking 00:09:00.970 --> 00:09:03.909 about this story when I'm, you know, I'm 32 now, 00:09:03.909 --> 00:09:07.750 when I'm 42. Even when I'm 37, I think about 00:09:07.750 --> 00:09:12.549 that a lot. It's like, I don't want to be in 00:09:12.549 --> 00:09:14.669 that narrative. It's a part of my narrative, 00:09:14.690 --> 00:09:20.169 but I don't want to be in it anymore. So it was 00:09:20.169 --> 00:09:24.649 like now or never. And I reached out to a wonderful 00:09:24.649 --> 00:09:31.429 artist in Wisconsin, Nakesha Roberts and... you 00:09:31.429 --> 00:09:35.009 know, she has an organization and a publishing 00:09:35.009 --> 00:09:38.309 company, John Urban Arts. I said, hey, look, 00:09:38.350 --> 00:09:41.990 you know, I wanna, I would love to pitch my work. 00:09:42.070 --> 00:09:43.190 I would love for y 'all to take on the work. 00:09:43.350 --> 00:09:48.429 She was just, you know, without question. Cause 00:09:48.429 --> 00:09:52.149 she'd already been, you know, incredibly supportive 00:09:52.149 --> 00:09:55.610 of my, you know, of my poetry, especially for 00:09:55.610 --> 00:09:57.750 like the last year or two. And so she was like, 00:09:57.789 --> 00:09:59.929 without question. you know, that question. So 00:09:59.929 --> 00:10:03.850 sorry. You know, it was, it was, it was time. 00:10:04.370 --> 00:10:06.049 It was time. But I told myself a few months, 00:10:06.070 --> 00:10:10.429 it was like few months before. If not this year, 00:10:11.169 --> 00:10:14.669 I'm putting this up. We'll move on because I 00:10:14.669 --> 00:10:17.210 can't live in this narrative anymore. I'll be 00:10:17.210 --> 00:10:21.840 telling myself. lies about where I am now as 00:10:21.840 --> 00:10:24.240 compared to where I was. And I don't wanna do 00:10:24.240 --> 00:10:26.679 that. Like I've moved forward from certain things. 00:10:26.720 --> 00:10:29.539 So let's just put this out, let's get it out. 00:10:29.559 --> 00:10:32.139 Let's get this out there, yeah. Yeah. So with 00:10:32.139 --> 00:10:34.740 that being said, what were you reckoning with 00:10:34.740 --> 00:10:38.820 as you wrote it? And so having somebody who's 00:10:38.820 --> 00:10:43.330 navigated. I'm here today, right? Because I was 00:10:43.330 --> 00:10:45.149 questioning, vacillating whether I was going 00:10:45.149 --> 00:10:46.889 to say successfully or not. But again, I'm here 00:10:46.889 --> 00:10:48.990 in this moment, which is truly the only thing 00:10:48.990 --> 00:10:52.350 that matters, right? So that is success. And 00:10:52.350 --> 00:10:57.049 so I can only imagine me writing my story about 00:10:57.049 --> 00:10:59.789 navigating fatherhood, being the father of a 00:10:59.789 --> 00:11:02.750 daughter and now a son, all the things that may 00:11:02.750 --> 00:11:05.529 come up for me in this. So again, with that being 00:11:05.529 --> 00:11:07.889 said, what were you reckoning with as you wrote 00:11:07.889 --> 00:11:13.289 it? I mean, quite a bit, you know, it was, the 00:11:13.289 --> 00:11:15.629 first thing is like, you know, how do you protect 00:11:15.629 --> 00:11:19.809 people, right? Like, you know, I don't, I'm not 00:11:19.809 --> 00:11:23.110 a father without other people, right, who are 00:11:23.110 --> 00:11:25.929 involved in my becoming a father. So how do you 00:11:25.929 --> 00:11:28.389 protect that person, right? How do you protect, 00:11:28.690 --> 00:11:30.549 I mean, the title of my daddy never taught me 00:11:30.549 --> 00:11:32.590 how to write a love song. Like, how do you protect 00:11:32.590 --> 00:11:34.509 my father? How do you protect certain people 00:11:34.509 --> 00:11:38.250 that, you know, are pivotal to, you know, the 00:11:38.250 --> 00:11:40.830 poems in this book without it being exploitative 00:11:40.830 --> 00:11:49.950 and extractive, but it being to sustain, it existing 00:11:49.950 --> 00:11:53.809 to sustain my voice as the primary kind of attention 00:11:53.809 --> 00:11:56.090 -bearer and holder for the audience. Like this 00:11:56.090 --> 00:11:58.669 is not about. them this is about me because they 00:11:58.669 --> 00:12:01.690 have stories their own you know and and they 00:12:01.690 --> 00:12:04.629 get to own those right but how they show up in 00:12:04.629 --> 00:12:07.289 my story i get to own but it's all but it's still 00:12:07.289 --> 00:12:09.350 navigating within that how do you protect people 00:12:09.350 --> 00:12:11.370 that's one thing and second thing is like my 00:12:11.370 --> 00:12:14.409 kids gonna read this one day you know it's like 00:12:14.409 --> 00:12:17.889 what you know i need to make sure that it's something 00:12:17.889 --> 00:12:20.629 that when she picks up she's not looking at me 00:12:20.629 --> 00:12:25.490 like Like, what's going on? Like, you know, why 00:12:25.490 --> 00:12:31.149 did you write this? And third, you know, it's 00:12:31.149 --> 00:12:35.210 making sure it's truthful, right? And truth can 00:12:35.210 --> 00:12:38.490 be, truth is already a gray area word, right? 00:12:38.490 --> 00:12:40.610 There's a lot of ambiguity in truth. Like, what's 00:12:40.610 --> 00:12:42.470 my truth for sure? Oh, it's your truth, my truth, 00:12:42.529 --> 00:12:44.750 and the truth. It's like, there's really no truth. 00:12:44.909 --> 00:12:47.330 Like, it's all stories at the end of the day, 00:12:47.809 --> 00:12:50.250 right? It's like operating from places of memory 00:12:50.250 --> 00:12:54.600 that is, you know, could be. could be filled 00:12:54.600 --> 00:12:57.980 by misinformation and, you know, filled by, you 00:12:57.980 --> 00:13:01.600 know, whatever else that can, you know, interrupt 00:13:01.600 --> 00:13:05.779 the facts of, you know, the facts of history, 00:13:06.139 --> 00:13:09.360 personal histories otherwise. And so, okay, what's 00:13:09.360 --> 00:13:11.220 the truth here, which ultimately is asking the 00:13:11.220 --> 00:13:15.740 question, like, what's my truth and the complete 00:13:15.740 --> 00:13:18.779 truth? Like, where was I a contradiction? Or 00:13:18.779 --> 00:13:21.580 what was I contradictory? Like, where was I at 00:13:21.580 --> 00:13:25.960 fault? Where was, you know, where am I the person 00:13:25.960 --> 00:13:27.899 that needs to hold or bear the responsibility 00:13:27.899 --> 00:13:30.460 of the story, regardless of how I feel, regardless 00:13:30.460 --> 00:13:33.879 of the resentment I bear? It's like, I have ownership. 00:13:34.360 --> 00:13:36.679 I need to take ownership of certain things and 00:13:36.679 --> 00:13:38.840 be honest about that if I'm going to write this. 00:13:38.899 --> 00:13:40.179 Because if I can't do that, you'll need to write 00:13:40.179 --> 00:13:44.659 this. So all those things, right? And then, of 00:13:44.659 --> 00:13:46.120 course, there's the artist thing. It's like, 00:13:46.980 --> 00:13:50.460 do I have the talent, the skill enough to pull 00:13:50.460 --> 00:13:53.379 this off? So, you know, those are the different 00:13:53.379 --> 00:13:57.220 things I was working through. You highlighted 00:13:57.220 --> 00:14:01.279 this idea of protection, right? When we're writing 00:14:01.279 --> 00:14:04.440 stories that involve other people, as you articulated, 00:14:05.299 --> 00:14:08.700 we aren't necessarily single fathers. We interact 00:14:08.700 --> 00:14:11.799 with so many different entities that influence 00:14:11.799 --> 00:14:16.179 how we show up as fathers. It reminded me of 00:14:16.179 --> 00:14:18.440 my dissertation, which was, I'm not going to 00:14:18.440 --> 00:14:20.799 bore folk with the details, but it's an autoethnography 00:14:20.799 --> 00:14:24.620 of stories of me navigating my mental health, 00:14:24.740 --> 00:14:28.320 which is based in a memoir, and then juxtaposing 00:14:28.320 --> 00:14:31.519 that with Black men's mental health here in Philadelphia 00:14:31.519 --> 00:14:33.759 and here in America. And one of the things I 00:14:33.759 --> 00:14:37.080 learned when writing this auto -ethnographic 00:14:38.080 --> 00:14:41.580 endeavor was this idea of triangulation, right? 00:14:41.679 --> 00:14:45.840 When it comes to specifically coming to, because 00:14:45.840 --> 00:14:49.320 it's data, right? It's data. And so when we talk 00:14:49.320 --> 00:14:51.580 about this idea of truth, right? And so we have 00:14:51.580 --> 00:14:55.259 this emotional truth that exists, right? These 00:14:55.259 --> 00:14:57.899 feelings connected to these experiences that 00:14:57.899 --> 00:15:01.000 we have. And then when we're able to step outside 00:15:01.000 --> 00:15:03.960 of that emotion, we have this cognitive awareness, 00:15:03.960 --> 00:15:07.679 right? That, hey, this what was happening, this 00:15:07.679 --> 00:15:10.000 was the context of which it was happening. Not 00:15:10.000 --> 00:15:12.539 to say that invalidates how you're feeling, right? 00:15:12.539 --> 00:15:14.860 But we also have to be mindful of that. And then 00:15:14.860 --> 00:15:17.539 we have this input from others, right? Because, 00:15:17.639 --> 00:15:20.759 again, there's other people in this story, which, 00:15:20.759 --> 00:15:23.659 again, goes to the ideas of protection. How am 00:15:23.659 --> 00:15:26.960 I going to tell this story that's authentic to 00:15:26.960 --> 00:15:31.919 me? while still respecting that somebody else 00:15:31.919 --> 00:15:34.519 who's a part of this story and who I may be talking 00:15:34.519 --> 00:15:36.840 about didn't necessarily experience it that way 00:15:36.840 --> 00:15:40.899 and see it this way. And so I think you highlighted 00:15:40.899 --> 00:15:45.740 how we're consistently negotiating that when 00:15:45.740 --> 00:15:49.679 we are writing from this first person perspective. 00:15:50.100 --> 00:15:54.970 So I appreciate you bringing that up. Now, in 00:15:54.970 --> 00:15:57.429 your book, you talk about legacy, right? You 00:15:57.429 --> 00:16:01.350 talk about learning to love with intention. What 00:16:01.350 --> 00:16:04.269 did writing this book reveal to you about love, 00:16:04.309 --> 00:16:10.269 and maybe what love isn't? So, you know, the 00:16:10.269 --> 00:16:12.289 title, my daddy never told me how to write love 00:16:12.289 --> 00:16:15.110 songs. Love songs, you know, are an anchor for 00:16:15.110 --> 00:16:18.750 the book, right? Because that's, I look at, you 00:16:18.750 --> 00:16:22.429 know, I look at soul, R &B, blues. I look at 00:16:22.429 --> 00:16:25.340 the legacies of this music. that kind of illustrate 00:16:25.340 --> 00:16:27.919 for us how love should be. But a lot of that 00:16:27.919 --> 00:16:30.700 stuff is like, you know, it's people know now 00:16:30.700 --> 00:16:33.899 is trademark, it trademarks codependency, right? 00:16:34.220 --> 00:16:36.759 Like emotional abuse, manipulation, emotional 00:16:36.759 --> 00:16:38.899 terrorism, like all these things. And I talk 00:16:38.899 --> 00:16:43.759 about that, right? But for me, it's looking at 00:16:43.759 --> 00:16:46.720 what are the, there's a section that's specifically 00:16:46.720 --> 00:16:49.120 was my experience learning how to care for my 00:16:49.120 --> 00:16:51.600 child by myself, like principally by myself. 00:16:52.210 --> 00:16:57.450 or as the principal character. And, you know, 00:16:57.610 --> 00:16:59.889 thinking about like the pop cultural imprints, 00:17:00.289 --> 00:17:01.809 thinking about the cultural imprints, thinking 00:17:01.809 --> 00:17:04.210 about all the things that kind of show up in 00:17:04.210 --> 00:17:06.269 the world around me as I'm like trying to navigate, 00:17:06.410 --> 00:17:10.049 how do I do this? And then looking out and seeing 00:17:10.049 --> 00:17:13.730 like, oh, these are the relationships in my community 00:17:13.730 --> 00:17:16.190 that I'm seeing take shape around me, or these 00:17:16.190 --> 00:17:18.109 are the relationships that I'm seeing kind of 00:17:18.109 --> 00:17:20.890 unfold. And it's like, that's not love. That's 00:17:20.890 --> 00:17:22.349 not what it should be. I may not be able to name 00:17:22.349 --> 00:17:24.970 what it is, but it can't be that, because, you 00:17:24.970 --> 00:17:26.730 know, where are y 'all? I had these neighbors, 00:17:26.990 --> 00:17:28.789 there's a poem I wrote about my neighbors, like 00:17:28.789 --> 00:17:31.950 every day it was F -U, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, 00:17:31.950 --> 00:17:32.809 nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, 00:17:32.809 --> 00:17:33.190 nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, 00:17:33.190 --> 00:17:33.250 nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, 00:17:33.250 --> 00:17:36.470 nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, 00:17:36.470 --> 00:17:36.470 nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, 00:17:36.690 --> 00:17:36.690 nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, 00:17:36.690 --> 00:17:36.690 nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, 00:17:36.690 --> 00:17:41.710 nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, 00:17:41.710 --> 00:17:50.759 nah, nah, nah, nah, nah existed in my family, 00:17:50.980 --> 00:17:53.259 exist in my family, right? Like that their friends 00:17:53.259 --> 00:17:55.480 could kind of call upon as like touch points 00:17:55.480 --> 00:18:00.019 of like, you know, where they've seen people, 00:18:00.019 --> 00:18:03.359 you know, try to find love in these explosive, 00:18:03.359 --> 00:18:06.960 you know, emotionally terroristic terrains. And 00:18:06.960 --> 00:18:10.680 there's a lot that goes into it. But to me, one 00:18:10.680 --> 00:18:12.579 of the most important things was like, naming 00:18:12.579 --> 00:18:15.940 what it isn't, right? Like where it wasn't in 00:18:15.940 --> 00:18:20.019 my story. with people I've dated, with the relationship 00:18:20.019 --> 00:18:23.420 with my child's mother, relationships I've had 00:18:23.420 --> 00:18:27.799 with paternal figures of my life, places where 00:18:27.799 --> 00:18:31.720 it wasn't, without naming or without shaming 00:18:31.720 --> 00:18:33.619 or passing judgments like, but this just wasn't 00:18:33.619 --> 00:18:35.420 what it was. And maybe this is why it wasn't 00:18:35.420 --> 00:18:37.859 what it was, but still the name of this wasn't 00:18:37.859 --> 00:18:40.720 what it was. But it still gets to be, it's just, 00:18:41.059 --> 00:18:43.000 we're gonna figure it out next time. But right 00:18:43.000 --> 00:18:47.079 now, we talk about what it's not. Because a lot 00:18:47.079 --> 00:18:50.079 of touch points for people, like what it is in 00:18:50.079 --> 00:18:52.539 popular culture, in the things we hold on to 00:18:52.539 --> 00:18:56.079 very tightly, right? Like music, the arts, it's 00:18:56.079 --> 00:18:59.680 not an expression of love. It's not an expression 00:18:59.680 --> 00:19:03.180 of what love has to be for us to get to the place 00:19:03.180 --> 00:19:06.359 that we want to. We have other conversations 00:19:06.359 --> 00:19:11.400 about our people, right? So that was the me. 00:19:11.950 --> 00:19:15.150 what I was learning in real time, but then also, 00:19:15.190 --> 00:19:17.190 you know, what I was attempting to illustrate 00:19:17.190 --> 00:19:20.470 and how all these things play a role in just 00:19:20.470 --> 00:19:23.410 like my day -to -day, right? And loving my daughter, 00:19:23.630 --> 00:19:25.809 learning to figure out what loving my daughter 00:19:25.809 --> 00:19:27.329 looks like. Learning to figure out what loving 00:19:27.329 --> 00:19:31.670 myself can look like, you know, while raising 00:19:31.670 --> 00:19:38.819 a child. So yeah, just a lot of heady work. No, 00:19:39.019 --> 00:19:43.059 I think that's important to go a little bit deeper. 00:19:43.259 --> 00:19:45.880 When we talk about writing as a tool, it's not 00:19:45.880 --> 00:19:49.460 just for expression. It's also for healing. It's 00:19:49.460 --> 00:19:52.940 also for coping. It's also for understanding. 00:19:53.200 --> 00:19:55.240 I think we talked about Malcolm Jamal Warner. 00:19:56.440 --> 00:19:59.640 He's grown up. God bless the ancestor. He's grown 00:19:59.640 --> 00:20:03.640 up in the spotlight from a young teenager. to 00:20:03.640 --> 00:20:08.059 an adult man on television, right? With the Tracee 00:20:08.059 --> 00:20:11.099 Ellis Ross show, which was him and Tracee Ellis 00:20:11.099 --> 00:20:14.960 Ross on, I believe it was BET, right? We've seen 00:20:14.960 --> 00:20:18.619 this change, right? This evolution. Again, we 00:20:18.619 --> 00:20:21.099 don't know him personally, right? But then when 00:20:21.099 --> 00:20:24.400 we see him in the spotlight and we see him talking 00:20:24.400 --> 00:20:26.420 about Black folk, when we hear him through his 00:20:26.420 --> 00:20:28.599 music, when we see him through his poetry, it's 00:20:28.599 --> 00:20:32.630 just this profound love. that he has for folk. 00:20:33.029 --> 00:20:35.890 And we like, that used to be Lil' Theo. Now Lil' 00:20:35.970 --> 00:20:39.569 Theo is this grown man who, again, who centers 00:20:39.569 --> 00:20:42.950 Black folk. So what I hear you talking about, 00:20:43.190 --> 00:20:45.230 again, it's about healing. It's about coping. 00:20:45.450 --> 00:20:47.970 It's about understanding. And that's why I believe 00:20:47.970 --> 00:20:52.190 that writing is such an important tool when we 00:20:52.190 --> 00:20:55.549 talk about this healing journey that so many 00:20:55.549 --> 00:20:58.750 of us say that we're on. Writing can be such 00:20:58.750 --> 00:21:02.240 an integral part. Can you speak to that? Absolutely. 00:21:02.740 --> 00:21:04.680 I'm going to actually, you know, I have this 00:21:04.680 --> 00:21:06.839 book here, this is my book, this is Essex Hemphill's 00:21:06.839 --> 00:21:10.920 Ceremonies. And I always, you know, I always 00:21:10.920 --> 00:21:13.039 talk Essex Hemphill when I talk about my work, 00:21:13.160 --> 00:21:15.660 because like that, he was, he's my North Star 00:21:15.660 --> 00:21:17.619 in a lot of ways. There's a few authors and poets 00:21:17.619 --> 00:21:20.420 that are my North Stars, Essex, Chris Sabani, 00:21:20.500 --> 00:21:22.960 and so on and so forth. But Essex, you know, 00:21:23.019 --> 00:21:25.819 he was, he was deeply involved in, you know, 00:21:26.710 --> 00:21:30.029 in the 90s, you know, during the AIDS crisis 00:21:30.029 --> 00:21:33.789 as a Black gay man, as an artist, as a poet, 00:21:33.910 --> 00:21:36.930 as an activist. But he did it, right? It's like, 00:21:37.029 --> 00:21:39.809 we talk about writing with vigor, emotional vigor. 00:21:40.250 --> 00:21:43.650 writing from a place of love, even when it seems 00:21:43.650 --> 00:21:45.789 like love can't be found, right? You're talking 00:21:45.789 --> 00:21:48.609 about a brother who passed away in 94 in D .C. 00:21:48.910 --> 00:21:50.609 Like what else happened in D .C. around that 00:21:50.609 --> 00:21:51.890 time? May and May had marched. There was a lot 00:21:51.890 --> 00:21:53.930 of brothers who weren't there that should have 00:21:53.930 --> 00:21:58.009 been there. But, you know, for him, the anchor, 00:21:58.150 --> 00:22:02.130 you know, is... Joseph Beams, you know, one of 00:22:02.130 --> 00:22:04.829 his comrades who also passed, that Black men 00:22:04.829 --> 00:22:06.789 loving Black men is a revolutionary act. So, 00:22:06.789 --> 00:22:09.650 like, what does that mean, writing about Black 00:22:09.650 --> 00:22:11.410 men when it seems like there's a lot of brothers 00:22:11.410 --> 00:22:13.789 that don't love you? How do you write about love 00:22:13.789 --> 00:22:15.950 in that respect? So when you work from that, 00:22:16.109 --> 00:22:18.470 you know, you did it, right? And people can talk 00:22:18.470 --> 00:22:20.069 about, like, some extra contradictions. Well, 00:22:20.109 --> 00:22:22.490 we all have contradictions, but it's just, like, 00:22:22.710 --> 00:22:26.470 for me to get to, you know, my book, it's like... 00:22:26.440 --> 00:22:28.619 I gotta start with those who already did it, 00:22:28.740 --> 00:22:32.539 right? Essex, Baldwin, Chris Sabani, right? These 00:22:32.539 --> 00:22:36.019 cats that like, they took into a writing with 00:22:36.019 --> 00:22:39.220 vigor, they took it on. But it also is poetry 00:22:39.220 --> 00:22:42.880 as intervention, right? It's something I'm also 00:22:42.880 --> 00:22:47.059 looking to explore. You know, poetry that could 00:22:47.059 --> 00:22:49.730 be, it could operate as a tool. It's like, it 00:22:49.730 --> 00:22:51.950 doesn't always have to be cathartic. I feel like 00:22:51.950 --> 00:22:56.089 catharsis is fine, but when we talk about art 00:22:56.089 --> 00:23:02.089 operating as a tool for wellness, as a tool for 00:23:02.089 --> 00:23:05.009 violence prevention, as a tool, as a public health 00:23:05.009 --> 00:23:08.109 tool, it's like, it can't just be cathartic. 00:23:08.599 --> 00:23:10.980 But how do you write out of catharsis and move 00:23:10.980 --> 00:23:13.119 into writing with a kind of vigor, writing with 00:23:13.119 --> 00:23:14.720 a kind of emotional truth, writing with a kind 00:23:14.720 --> 00:23:18.440 of intention to be impactful? And that takes 00:23:18.440 --> 00:23:20.160 reading the cats that have done it. It takes 00:23:20.160 --> 00:23:23.400 reading the cats that have written in kind of, 00:23:23.619 --> 00:23:27.019 written from a place of like, written from an 00:23:27.019 --> 00:23:31.220 emotional real estate that... is so vast and 00:23:31.220 --> 00:23:34.680 so grand and encompasses so many different complex 00:23:34.680 --> 00:23:40.480 colored emotions like Essex had to do with ceremonies. 00:23:42.779 --> 00:23:49.599 You got to do the knowledge. You got to study. 00:23:49.839 --> 00:23:52.259 You got to read. You cannot be a good writer 00:23:52.259 --> 00:23:54.680 if you're not a reader. And not just reading, 00:23:54.859 --> 00:23:58.700 but processing. Right. Um, so you gotta you gotta 00:23:58.700 --> 00:24:01.579 read nothing to me. It's like that. That's where 00:24:01.579 --> 00:24:03.839 it begins, like knowing who's done it. I'm not 00:24:03.839 --> 00:24:05.779 the first one to do it. And there's a lot of 00:24:05.779 --> 00:24:08.599 things I still need to do to get to where I would 00:24:08.599 --> 00:24:11.500 like to. But, you know, yeah, you know, I shout 00:24:11.500 --> 00:24:14.339 out Essex when it comes to being a model. Yeah. 00:24:14.400 --> 00:24:15.839 And what you're talking about, right? You're 00:24:15.839 --> 00:24:17.779 talking about tradition, right? We're talking 00:24:17.779 --> 00:24:21.779 about tradition of black men using storytelling. 00:24:22.379 --> 00:24:24.859 as we can't even get to healing if we're not 00:24:24.859 --> 00:24:26.759 surviving, right? So first and foremost, we're 00:24:26.759 --> 00:24:29.380 talking about survival. And so with that being 00:24:29.380 --> 00:24:32.480 said, and you being a part of this tradition, 00:24:32.700 --> 00:24:37.160 I'm certain that'll be a black boy, a black man, 00:24:37.339 --> 00:24:39.960 or somebody who loves black boys and black men, 00:24:40.220 --> 00:24:43.539 who'll watch this and who'll look at you as, 00:24:43.539 --> 00:24:46.410 hey, you know what, you're my North Star. Right. 00:24:46.509 --> 00:24:49.869 So what's a prompt that you can offer to those 00:24:49.869 --> 00:24:52.869 who are watching for them to begin their own 00:24:52.869 --> 00:24:56.230 reflection process? What's the problem? That's 00:24:56.230 --> 00:25:03.250 a good question. That's a good question. I would 00:25:03.250 --> 00:25:08.430 say you start with the basics, like write about 00:25:08.430 --> 00:25:12.430 what it means to feel good. Yeah, write about 00:25:12.430 --> 00:25:16.059 what it means to feel good. Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna 00:25:16.059 --> 00:25:19.539 tell you what Sonia Sanchez, you know, the Jagna, 00:25:19.819 --> 00:25:22.839 when she told me I was writing the aforementioned 00:25:22.839 --> 00:25:25.079 dissertation, I was sitting in the coffee shop, 00:25:25.200 --> 00:25:28.240 shout out to Uncle Bobby's, my cheers. And I 00:25:28.240 --> 00:25:31.200 was sitting in there and she came in, you know, 00:25:31.400 --> 00:25:34.500 I'm on chapter like. like four or five, whatever 00:25:34.500 --> 00:25:36.859 chapter I was on. And I was like, listen, I'm 00:25:36.859 --> 00:25:38.039 going to say something to her. I just got to 00:25:38.039 --> 00:25:40.960 say hello, right? I got to say hi. And so I went 00:25:40.960 --> 00:25:44.980 up to her. She's so short in stature, but big 00:25:44.980 --> 00:25:48.440 in personality and all of these things. And so 00:25:48.440 --> 00:25:51.759 I said, listen, I'm struggling, Sister Sanchez, 00:25:52.319 --> 00:25:54.599 to just get my thoughts out for this. And she 00:25:54.599 --> 00:25:57.519 said, Phil, listen. She said, just write what 00:25:57.519 --> 00:26:00.880 you see. Write what you see right now, right? 00:26:00.960 --> 00:26:04.250 And I'm like, Initially, I was just like, huh? 00:26:04.589 --> 00:26:07.349 Wait, what? No, I'm supposed to be writing on 00:26:07.349 --> 00:26:10.390 this. I got to write for the assignment. I have 00:26:10.390 --> 00:26:13.009 to write for the work. I have to just write what 00:26:13.009 --> 00:26:16.029 you see. And so that's what I did. I sat. I had 00:26:16.029 --> 00:26:18.049 the person next to me who was drinking coffee, 00:26:18.069 --> 00:26:20.809 who was laughing. I had the person outside just 00:26:20.809 --> 00:26:22.910 walking back and forth. And I started writing 00:26:22.910 --> 00:26:25.190 about these things. And what that did was that 00:26:25.190 --> 00:26:30.029 freed me up from the bondage that was this writer's 00:26:30.029 --> 00:26:34.839 block. And so, hey, what feels good to you? That's 00:26:34.839 --> 00:26:38.220 a start. It doesn't have to be anything, again, 00:26:38.599 --> 00:26:41.000 extraordinary, even just an ordinary, a smile 00:26:41.000 --> 00:26:44.480 or so forth. So I appreciate you offering that. 00:26:44.880 --> 00:26:46.759 Now, with that being said, will you feel comfortable 00:26:46.759 --> 00:26:50.299 in sharing just a short piece from your book? 00:26:50.589 --> 00:26:54.910 For sure, for sure. Just the equivalent of, I 00:26:54.910 --> 00:26:56.990 don't even know if you old enough, you 32, right? 00:26:57.390 --> 00:27:00.390 You might remember the boy who outside the store 00:27:00.390 --> 00:27:02.630 hustling in the city. He's like, yo, I spit high 00:27:02.630 --> 00:27:04.410 five. Well, give me something then. Give me something. 00:27:05.609 --> 00:27:08.609 No, this is for the beast. So I'm writing what 00:27:08.609 --> 00:27:13.349 you see. This piece called Unit 201. Yeah, I 00:27:13.349 --> 00:27:15.299 think a lot of times we can... so wrapped up 00:27:15.299 --> 00:27:17.720 and kind of moving forward like we we tend to 00:27:17.720 --> 00:27:19.460 forget that things have happened and those things 00:27:19.460 --> 00:27:22.660 should be memorialized um and we should still 00:27:22.660 --> 00:27:25.299 hold space for like honoring those things so 00:27:25.299 --> 00:27:31.279 uh this is unit 201 i wonder if my sweat haunts 00:27:31.279 --> 00:27:34.980 the shower water or if what i heard was my upstairs 00:27:34.980 --> 00:27:39.759 neighbors or just us from the year before i knocked 00:27:39.759 --> 00:27:43.099 on the ceiling but no one answered me At night, 00:27:43.279 --> 00:27:45.839 I swear I heard stomping above my head. Thing 00:27:45.839 --> 00:27:49.220 is, it sounded like my daughter during lunchtime 00:27:49.220 --> 00:27:51.720 running away from the choo -choo train of carrots 00:27:51.720 --> 00:27:55.019 smushed in the carpet, and that was her first 00:27:55.019 --> 00:27:58.700 wake. And that woman who used to say my name 00:27:58.700 --> 00:28:01.539 before confession, I wonder if the floorboard 00:28:01.539 --> 00:28:04.599 still accounts for her weight. The pounds that 00:28:04.599 --> 00:28:06.839 have gone missing since I've become a single 00:28:06.839 --> 00:28:10.650 father. And new paint keeps our family dinners 00:28:10.650 --> 00:28:13.869 secret to new tenants, but we did live. We did 00:28:13.869 --> 00:28:17.130 fight and dance and miscommunicate and added 00:28:17.130 --> 00:28:20.210 too much salt to our jollof rice. And we did 00:28:20.210 --> 00:28:23.250 arrive as two and became three before we departed 00:28:23.250 --> 00:28:28.329 in our original numbers. And what is the mathematics 00:28:28.329 --> 00:28:31.589 of a poltergeist if the hallways are a record 00:28:31.589 --> 00:28:35.890 of a family that didn't keep? Call it an archive, 00:28:36.049 --> 00:28:39.829 a tomb, but we did live. I wonder if the Uno 00:28:39.829 --> 00:28:43.230 cards left in the closet are Ouija board and 00:28:43.230 --> 00:28:45.490 if the children who occupy my daughter's room 00:28:45.490 --> 00:28:49.029 can conjure the first time she rolled over. And 00:28:49.029 --> 00:28:53.230 I wonder if they could give that back to me if 00:28:53.230 --> 00:28:56.730 I ask nice enough. I wonder if they ever cleaned 00:28:56.730 --> 00:28:59.230 out the microwave or if the kitchen still smells 00:28:59.230 --> 00:29:01.670 like two kids who didn't know what to do, but 00:29:01.670 --> 00:29:06.460 still we did live. We did. We lived and cried 00:29:06.460 --> 00:29:09.079 and double socked infant feet up to the ankle 00:29:09.079 --> 00:29:12.200 when the snow suffocated the winter. And we ignored 00:29:12.200 --> 00:29:14.859 the mail piled on the counter until it was a 00:29:14.859 --> 00:29:19.640 mountain. Does the counter weigh the same? How 00:29:19.640 --> 00:29:22.019 much of my breath lingers in the liminal space 00:29:22.019 --> 00:29:25.380 of the second floor hallway? I ask the same of 00:29:25.380 --> 00:29:28.759 the songs I hummed to carry me. Where are the 00:29:28.759 --> 00:29:31.579 fingerprints on the books we've read? The same 00:29:31.579 --> 00:29:34.680 for the crib we built. Do the mothers who can 00:29:34.680 --> 00:29:37.700 walk through the living room feel her contractions? 00:29:38.539 --> 00:29:42.180 And when I asked her what they said, when I asked 00:29:42.180 --> 00:29:44.960 her what they would say, if all that were found 00:29:44.960 --> 00:29:49.779 here was as we left it, she replied, they'd say 00:29:49.779 --> 00:29:57.059 they tried. A few studies there, but yeah, you 00:29:57.059 --> 00:30:00.759 get the idea. No, no, that's love. We ain't gotta 00:30:00.759 --> 00:30:04.960 do that. Well, you got to do that. No, that was 00:30:04.960 --> 00:30:07.839 the wow. Wow. Thank you for that. Thank you for 00:30:07.839 --> 00:30:10.400 that. Listen, Donnie, I want to thank you again 00:30:10.400 --> 00:30:12.640 for coming through and for sharing so vulnerably 00:30:12.640 --> 00:30:15.359 today. How and where can folks support you and 00:30:15.359 --> 00:30:18.569 your work? You know, a beautiful thing. You said 00:30:18.569 --> 00:30:20.009 to me before, it's like when you Google a book, 00:30:20.009 --> 00:30:24.849 it's pretty easy. You can look me up, Donnie 00:30:24.849 --> 00:30:26.690 Moreland on Google. You'll see everything from 00:30:26.690 --> 00:30:29.490 my link tree for Fellowship of the Griots, which 00:30:29.490 --> 00:30:31.769 can be found on Instagram, Fellowship of the 00:30:31.769 --> 00:30:34.490 Griots. Or you can find me, you can say Donnie 00:30:34.490 --> 00:30:36.630 Moreland. I'm all on the first page of Google. 00:30:36.809 --> 00:30:39.730 So, you know, you'll find my writings, the book, 00:30:39.829 --> 00:30:42.670 all that. But if you want to know like more specifically, 00:30:43.009 --> 00:30:45.329 Donnie Moreland, link tree, everything's on there. 00:30:45.420 --> 00:30:48.259 So we're we're well, thank you again. Thank you 00:30:48.259 --> 00:30:52.259 again, brother. I appreciate it. Listen, before 00:30:52.259 --> 00:30:54.980 we close, I want to offer a reflection of my 00:30:54.980 --> 00:30:57.660 own, something I wrote after learning about Malcolm 00:30:57.660 --> 00:31:01.700 Jamal Warner's passing, because this loss hit 00:31:01.700 --> 00:31:05.519 different. Here's what I wrote. This Malcolm 00:31:05.519 --> 00:31:08.619 Jamal Warner def has me in shambles, more grief 00:31:08.619 --> 00:31:11.359 and loss for black folk of a certain age to process. 00:31:11.769 --> 00:31:14.490 Certain celebrities have such a profound impact 00:31:14.490 --> 00:31:17.109 on our lives. Through his portrayal of Theo, 00:31:17.750 --> 00:31:21.250 Malcolm showed me vulnerability, naivete, and 00:31:21.250 --> 00:31:24.670 identity grappling. He introduced us to neurodivergence 00:31:24.670 --> 00:31:28.329 through strength, not shame. In his roles, Malcolm 00:31:28.329 --> 00:31:30.650 showed us the importance and influence of Black 00:31:30.650 --> 00:31:33.730 boy and men relationships. Malcolm showed our 00:31:33.730 --> 00:31:36.609 tenderness, evident in his booming smile and 00:31:36.609 --> 00:31:40.750 always elegant reflection on Black life. He loved 00:31:40.750 --> 00:31:47.230 us. This hurts. Malcolm loved us, and that still 00:31:47.230 --> 00:31:50.150 matters. He showed us what it could look like 00:31:50.150 --> 00:31:53.450 to be seen, not just for our strength, but for 00:31:53.450 --> 00:31:56.950 our softness. And Donnie, your work is part of 00:31:56.950 --> 00:32:00.269 that same lineage. To those watching, I want 00:32:00.269 --> 00:32:02.890 to leave you with this. What's something you 00:32:02.890 --> 00:32:05.450 inherited from a man in your life that you've 00:32:05.450 --> 00:32:08.470 had to unlearn? What's a kind of love you're 00:32:08.470 --> 00:32:12.549 still learning how to give? Take a moment. Write 00:32:12.549 --> 00:32:17.609 it down. Speak it aloud. Tell someone you trust, 00:32:17.970 --> 00:32:19.910 because when it comes to men's mental health 00:32:19.910 --> 00:32:24.130 and wellness, the road isn't easy, but it's worth 00:32:24.130 --> 00:32:25.789 it. Peace.