I'm very curious how this episode is going to be received because in case you haven't noticed
It's pollen season. It's allergy season and there's so much pollen you could physically scrape it off the goddamn walls here
Welcome back to the meat wheat podcast where I am now 26 years old and I really fucking feeling it this
These allergies were not this bad last year. Okay, that's not how bad it was
This this year I can't I can't breathe. Okay, I
Thought I woke up sick, but this is just how I sound like with with allergies in the air
Doesn't help that Benadryl is making me real sleepy right now, but at the same time I'm excited to record again
It's not gonna stop me. I'm just gonna sound weird this episode. But yeah, I turned 26. That's let's look back on the year actually
Let's not do that. Let's just do what we feel like that's that's what this episode is strong strongly about
You know what I mean? Like when I don't have an agenda, that's one of my best episodes come out
But let's see where this goes. All right
Well, this isn't right literally as I was starting to record and
Edit the audio my voice started getting better. Are you kidding me?
it's
It's probably all the medicine I'm taking to be honest. I
Hmm
Yeah, it's definitely the medicine the thing about Benadryl right is it works but it knocks your ass out and not only that I
Don't know if a lot of people know the side effects of Benadryl. One of them is that if you take it before bed
It'll give you nightmares
But only for certain people
there's no real way to know until you try it and
then there was that whole meme where it's like
If you take 40 Benadryl's you'll trip balls
But like the thing is you guys got to understand if you take 40 Benadryl's that leads to psychosis
It's a bit more on the edge. Okay, think of it this way if you want to feel what it's like to be a paranoid schizophrenic
Yeah, you know what? I'm not even gonna encourage you to try that. Don't just don't try it. Okay. It was a meme calm down
Having said that speaking of memes I
Have I guess a unique stance right now, right with this damn voice. Who knows if I could actually
Okay, I'm gonna try to pull this off but like legitimately I've done this bit before but I'm gonna try it again
Okay, so originally I wanted to do like a Ford truck ad but this is way more difficult. I have an idea
My girlfriend knows this bit because I'm always telling her at random
It's the been far meme if you guys don't know what that is
I'm gonna have to try to read the whole thing with like an announcer voice and it's not easy because I've been practicing
I've been genuinely practicing so
Has you really been far even as to decide to use even go to want and look more like call nine eight five six five five
Twenty five hundred inside the details for go further and even decide even to use you can really be as far as decide twice as
Much to use and go wish for it
When you decide far ever wants to use and go wants get real even far as to describe to use and look more like
And go after a fuck. That's so hard
It's genuinely difficult this is like a transcript right it's not supposed to make sense that's the point but you got to get everything
Just right
All right. Let me try again
Has you really been far even as to decide to use even go want to look more like call nine eight five six five five
Twenty five hundred inside the details for go further and even more decide to use you could really be far as to decide twice as
Much to use and go wish for it when you decide far even wants to use and go wants get
Really far even as to decide to use and look more like
It's just common sense applied today. God that was hard
You guys don't know what I'm talking about the video is just called been far question mark
It's 11 years old doesn't make any sense and that's the whole point. That's
My type of humor right there. I fucking love that type of humor. It doesn't make any absurdist humor
Just like that show Stella came out. I had like one season. That's it
Stella Stella fans you should
Bring it back. You know what I mean? Oh, by the way that YouTube video is received well
So thank you guys all for watching that and those two subscribed, you know more videos coming up
There's a part two. I'm working on actually so heads up on that. I'm gonna wait until I recover from this fucking
This pollen thing or at least until my nose clears up a bit more but
That is in the works. I have all the clips. There's a part two
It's gonna be way longer actually and if you guys didn't understand what I was referencing
It's a dank pod style video when he goes to cashies the hard part is
When he does that his bit lasts two or three minutes. That's it, right mine lasted five
So I'm actually trying to do a bit more
Even too far as to decide to use
Damn it. I can't stop when they start. Okay. All right. Next thing next thing we gotta do
The Ford commercial but I gotta make it weird really really weird. Okay, I'm gonna quote another meme
Let's see if I can do it right
Here it is. This one's um, this one's a bit older, but you know what? It's a meme
Nonetheless, a funny memes always good. Actually, it's only a year old. All right still well the shop life of a meme is still pretty
Yeah, how that's hard still pretty damn short. So, uh, all right
Bear with me on this one. I haven't practiced this one
Have you ever been beat by what spaghetti noodle by a girlfriend cuz she had a twin sister and you fucked her dad
That's how it's like to drive a Ford F-150. I was actually not bad enough. I was actually not that was not hard. I
Feel like there was more wasn't there there was definitely a lot more
No, that's definitely it
Have you ever been beaten by what spaghetti noodle by your girlfriend because she had a twin sister you got confused and fucked your dad
No, that's literally it it wasn't even that okay that was not that like I don't know
I was expecting more to be honest, but it is what it is. You know what I mean?
Fucking hell then there's that um, I googled wet spaghetti noodle meme and I forgot the other one where it's like
Oh, I'm straight just like spaghetti until it's hot and wet and then it's like what the fuck bro
Like who you trying to be trying to hit on some weird shit right there
Anyway, I gotta go shower
Anyway, I'm back from my shower a full 24 hours later because I shower a lot
Let me tell you something right now. There's one thing that I don't care about
I got a fucking gripe to pick
This podcast was on hiatus not because I wanted to not because I wanted to rest but because my fucking Mac decided not to work
Are you like are you kidding me Mac or Apple? Whatever the fuck if you can't make an Apple product that doesn't
Completely stall out just because I paused a recording. Well, maybe you can go fuck yourself. How about that?
Steve Jobs is probably rolling his fucking grave right now. Fuck you guys
Having said that I went Mac and never go back
I'm not gonna lie that doesn't stop me from using another Mac anyway
All right, all the bullshit aside. I saw this fucking stupid ass tick-tock from this idiot moron girl
Who was talking
Damn, we put the bitch on blast. Um, anyway, I saw this tick-tock from this girl. It said
Masturbation is a form of witchcraft. Well, isn't that crazy half you motherfuckers are wizards. Isn't that great?
Shadow wizard money game. We love casting spells
Man, tick-tock is a goldmine sometimes actually let me tell you right now. What's what's a goldmine right now is um
I've recently discovered that one youtuber um
Wendigoon
I mean that guy's got a whole catalog like of just crazy ass videos
Not particularly videos that I've normally watched. You know what I mean?
But at the same time he makes he makes it comfortable to watch
It's not like watching his things are like a guilty pleasure, but it's definitely something that's interesting because he teaches you things about like
Government secrets or conspiracies, but he doesn't make it like oh you got to believe this
No, he just tells you what the conspiracy is and then you'll go
Yeah, it's kind of plausible maybe or he'll go
No, this one's just straight-up bullshit, but he'll tell you what it is. That's the thing. I like that in an age of misinformation or people having an agenda
I like when someone tells me something but doesn't go you should agree with this you should disagree with that if you're telling me something
If you're explaining something to me in great detail, and then you tell me you should agree with this
I'm gonna assume that you have an agenda. Okay, wait a minute. I'm gonna assume that you have an agenda
I'm gonna assume that you have an agenda. Okay, when the goon on the other hand does not that's why when the goon is my fucking
My my my hats off to when the goon this week, okay
I normally don't do that right or okay, maybe every now and then I'll shout out a youtuber or tik tok or whatever
And it's been a while since I've done that when the goon I'm shouting you out
Despite the fact that you have a millions more millions of more subs than I do still you know might as well credit where credit is due
I've actually been watching a series on the conspiracy iceberg, which is basically explaining what conspiracy is what right?
I don't believe any of them. Don't get me wrong. I really don't I
I never cared for the subject all that much
But it's the way he explains it that I enjoy because it doesn't make it go like he doesn't make it like oh you should believe this
You should believe that he just says this theory means that people believe this
You know that it's as simple as that he lays it out, and he tells you what's what that's why I like about it
Hats off to when the goon yo
Yo fuck
Okay that pause right okay, I had to pause that real quick holy shit
So I don't know what my neighbors are doing, but that sounded like a straight-up war like like a battle feel me
Like a battle feel me
Life in the hood
Everyone's shooting at everybody
Seriously though what the fuck was that it was loud enough that I could be heard
Yeah, that it could be heard in the mic
And like I didn't want to interrupt the podcast with that, but here we are last because that took longer than I thought
So holy shit this this broadcast was interrupted by my fucking warfare I guess
Damn
That's uh that's my life
Damn that actually caught me off guard
Like I paused it right
But I paused it in the nick of time
Because I heard something going on and I thought that's gonna pick up on the mic and then it just started everywhere holy shit
Bet they fucking missed too
So I just like sneezed really hard right now like I'm not gonna go into details right
But I think my voice changed again I think it's going back to normal
Which is great you can progressively hear as the episode goes that I'm slowly healing
Because I'm gonna be honest it's taken a few days to record work finally picked up again which I'm happy about
But at the same time well I mean listen to me
The problem is where I work I'm surrounded constantly by a shit ton of flowers and I mean an absolute grotesque amount for someone with my allergies
It wasn't bad at first but I actually saw today why my allergies were so bad
And the reason being is because in the fields they've got this giant fan I don't know what the name of it is called
But it literally blows the pollen and some of the um the flowers like off the trees
I don't know how to explain it but damn that pollen shoots into the air
And when you have like I had light allergies right mine weren't that bad
This year they're kicking my ass like listen to me
Do I sound at all the same? It's because of all these damn allergies I'm not sick I don't feel bad
It's just my nose that's it it's my nose slightly squinched and it sucks ass and I really don't like it
Also have you guys seen that commercial that came out in Israel um in McDonald's in Israel right?
It's called um they're advertising something for like McDonald's Israel like the big American and Obama just pulls up
Up the drive-thru he goes God bless Israel but like in his voice like real accurately
I don't know I just thought it was kind of funny
I've got a quick announcement for everyone who's listening on Spotify
If you are listening on Spotify open up the app right now
Click on the episode that you're currently listening to or some of the previous ones
Because I started opening up some Q&A's just to see if people actually react to them
And if they do I might do something with that in the future
Spotify has recently released a new feature and I want to see what I could do with it
Because apparently you can comment on some of the episodes now and I love that I want that
I want that fan engagement okay I mean that too if you hear me talking right now
I'm telling you right now send me an email to the the email in the description
And I want fan engagement because I want people to send me either memes or something to talk about you know
Or maybe just you want to shout out something for someone's um someone's birthday or anything
I won't I won't uh I won't charge you for that so uh don't worry about that I'll just shout you out
And um my god my sinuses are killing me
Okay before I before I talk about this next subject uh just a little bit of a warning for those who are um
Sensitive to certain topics okay it's a bit of a sensitive topic
At least I would say so it's regarding the war or Russia currently
I know I said I wouldn't talk about it but this kind of has to do with it
So I don't know if I'm late to the meme or not but what's this I hear about Russian paratroopers landing in Chicago
I mean they didn't land in there yet right they said
Basically the meme is Russia's not gonna land in Chicago because Chicago's already a war zone
And everyone's just agreeing with it like right here hang on Russian paratroopers landing in Chicago it's already a war zone
If I hear Putin talking sweet on Chief Keefe I'm beating his fucking ass I'm not fucking playing no more
Um thank you residents of Chicago for lending a hand in the war effort
But Jesus I could see a Hellcat charge in front lines with extended Uzi
No shot they're dropping in Chirac
The O Block Finneby air defense I'm reading comments okay don't think I'm actually talking like this no
There's so much of it oh my god people from Chicago you guys fucking rock I'm not even lying
I love this other comment I don't think countries understand we've been dreaming about this since modern warfare 2 came out
God damn I really think they have
I'm just reading the comments I don't know which one to pick there's just so many oh my god
Oh here's a good one the potholes are gonna get them first
That's funny to me because our crumbling infrastructure is a joke
Laugh at the social commentary
I would laugh myself but my nose is so stuffed again I thought I blew it out but I guess not
I guess not
That's the wrong instrument let me pull up the other one
Anyway here's Wonderwall
How do the lyrics go again?
The certified freak seven days a week
What the fuck am I doing
By the way to anyone first learning guitar don't learn Wonderwall as your first song I know it's super easy but it's also very cheesy
You should learn any other song but that one
Alright if I sound a bit different now I caked in I could not continue after that
That little bit right
It kind of knocked my throat it knocked it into a different level of pain I'm not even gonna lie I caked in and got some day quill
And I sound a bit different I think I don't know but regardless let's move on
So I had a bit too the whole reason I stopped it is because I was actually gonna play House of the Rising Sun
But I could not I mean that shit hurt
So there's a trend going on on TikTok right
I don't know if you people know about this but I thought I'd bring it up because thanks to
Thanks to Samito Media always sharing horny stuff on Twitter I found out about a TikTok trend that's probably a bit risqué
In fact risqué is not the right word I would just be blunt and say it is straight up porn like it's softcore porn
What's going on right is there are people who edit videos in such a way where they can show a boob or flash their pussy
But the thing is it'll be a split second right so the people watching are gonna notice
But the editors or people who report it for nudity or anything else are not gonna see that
And the reason it's interesting to me is because I was not aware of it right
It was brought to my attention thanks to someone sharing this Twitter video
I don't know if the videos were taken down or not but the first time I saw it it was meant to be a humorous video
I had to pause again my voice is starting to hurt like straight up hurt
But yeah the whole way it started was for me anyway the way I discovered it someone shared a video and I didn't get it at first
There was this lady well endowed lady if you don't know what that means I mean she got big ass tits
And the caption was simply look at this strange doorknob and she records the doorknob but it's a very reflective doorknob mind you
Very you know keep that in mind in the reflection of the doorknob you can clearly see she is completely naked
However the tick tock sensors did not and were not able to pick it up so there it is alive and well
So this exact same person made different accounts with different names and it's all one person right
And I guess it's some sort of porn star trying to show off her things you know what I mean
And it's funny to me because I mean that's definitely one way to get attention
There's one specific page on Twitter that keeps sharing it and every time they do it they say haha look at this funny video
And they just keep sharing it and the annoying part for me right is I've already unfollowed them and blocked them and everything but I still keep getting them
Over and over again
So what I imagine is happening is this person or these people because I notice it's more than one now
Have begun paying tick tock and Twitter pages to post their quote unquote memes when in reality it's just them flashing a titty flashing a vagina whatever
But it's interesting to me how the porn industry has started to seep its way into you know I mean it's always going to make its way into any media
You know what I mean and now it's on my Twitter even though I don't want it to be it's on my tick tock
Because all of the meme pages I follow are deciding to quote unquote share a funny meme when in reality they were paid a few bucks for it
And by a few it's actually usually a few thousand like I'm not gonna lie these are substantial amounts of money being thrown around
So if you ever see a page or a Twitter and someone is saying okay let me preface this right because I've seen this way too many times
Every time I see it I know it's fucking bullshit so if you're on Twitter here's a bit of a guide stone okay hear me out
Peggy just finished vacuuming
Think of it this way there's gonna be one specific video that I'll bring as an example
This lady was supposedly a target employee and the caption is always gonna read she was fired for this video
And it's a guy walking up to her saying hey is this your only fans and she giggles and says yes
And then somebody mysteriously comments oh guys I found it it's this and it's always the same only fans and it's the same tactic
So basically it's a very thin veil bullshit technique where a meme page will be paid a substantial amount of money
And they'll promote somebody's only fans which you know whatever get your money up I guess
That doesn't bother me all that much what bothers me is how annoying it is because it's so frequent now
There needs to be a limit on that you know what I mean
There was like this this Twitter page called images preceding legendary events whatever
It's a fucking bullshit page now and it's all sharing only fans and it's all fucking bullshit and I'm so tired of it
Because it's all the same thin veiled gimmick bullshit and it's the same fucking only fans and I'm actually genuinely pissed about it
You can hear my fucking voice or maybe you can because I have the same fucking monotone voice and I can't get rid of it
It has been a week and now I have sniffles great I'm actually really hot in this room even though it's cold so I'm a little concerned now
The fuck was in that kombucha man oh my god I recently got a haircut and like immediately I realized how thin my hair is getting
Like bro I am going bald I just turned 26 I already look 36 god damn bro that was a quick jump
There's this thing that I read on Instagram Twitter and like a bunch of other social media pages where it's like
The Mexican gene is essentially you look okay and as soon as you hit a certain age you like skyrocket in age
I think I hit that shit already man I probably hit it when I was younger I don't know
Bad haircuts are not even bad haircuts just getting a haircut in general because like when I have long hair I'm annoyed by it
When I have short hair I miss my long hair basically I'm never happy shout out to those who can relate
Oh by the way it was brought to my attention that I mentioned that there's quote unquote links in the description of every episode
Well the truth is I decided to do some research on my own podcast so if you're listening on audible and what was the other one
I heart radio I believe the descriptions won't actually show up nor will the cover art so for a lot of these pages there will not be a description unfortunately
And the way that works right the reason that's important is because I keep telling people to send like funny videos or comments to the email
And it's linked in the description and it will be for a lot of pages but for some there will not be so remember that email is mgsbusinesscontact at gmail.com
Send me emails send me memes send me funny shit I've only ever been sent memes once everything else has either been spam or recently
I don't know which one of you fuckers did this but some one of you signed me up for a gay porn website could you not do that okay
I'll look that up on my own time don't worry about that there will be thorough single-handed research many a skin flute will be played
Ew I get it I'm bisexual whatever anyway that's enough of that topic but seriously whoever the fuck signed me up for a gay porn website could you cut that shit out
I have one email for this shit okay there's a reason I have not shared the other email and it's because I know this shit is gonna happen
Because last time it happened it was annoying I now have a bunch of spam email as opposed to like actual you know either fan email or memes right
But yeah okay I'm not even gonna lie that was um that was funny the first time that that email popped up I was like oh this must just be spam
And then I saw the name that a certain someone used right and I immediately knew who it was so yeah you fucking asshole fucking not to mention somebody else right
Has decided to try and dox me so you know good luck with that and to be fair I live in the ghetto you know so like what's the point
Mexican lives in the ghetto big surprise how I just clear my throat hey you know something came up in my 26th birthday right I found this little pinata
I don't know what to I don't know what to do with him right I'm holding right now it only cost me five bucks and it turns out I bought it in the store where they just sell a shit ton of these
And the point is to break them right but I'm thinking I could do something with it I'm looking at it thinking I could probably fill it with something
It's pretty hollow it's actually very flimsy I'm trying not I'm trying my hardest not to drop it because I know the moment I drop it will probably break here let's see
Okay it's it's sturdy enough to drop on the ground without breaking but just by holding it's like completely hollow
Interestingly enough okay the store is a Vallarta by the way I don't know how common those are I know in California they're everywhere but still
This pinata right I can't open it there's no opening in it and I think you're supposed to cut the opening itself probably fill it with like small gifts or ideally you could smash it in a creative way
However there's a big metal part in it I'm not gonna lie part of me was thinking of hitting it with my car just recording it in slow motion but I know my phone doesn't have that much data on it so I can't really do that
And if I could do that I don't have a secluded area or a safe area to do it I don't know how to explain it I wouldn't do it I know YouTube has recently finally lacked oh oh shit I should probably mention that I'll mention that later but yeah
It was um YouTube's rules have calmed down a bit I don't know if you guys knew that which is good because now I can make some of the videos that I wanted to make and in case you guys didn't know I started learning how to edit videos
So Deng Pot style videos and other stuff I don't know what the other stuff is yet but I already have Hawaii Trip part 2 coming out I've I'm almost done with it and I got some free time now so I'm gonna go ahead and finish that by the end of the week
Um but I need a creative way to destroy this thing an idea came to my head and it's a pretty easy idea but I'm gonna need a blast shield of some kind I don't have explosives don't get me wrong I was thinking more like to protect my phone
And I don't know you know I just looked to my left and I found the solution so you know what scratch that idea I just yeah fuck it let's do it alright that's gonna Peggy scared the shit out of me just now Peggy's been doing this thing right where she turns herself on
At the middle of the night she turned on started cleaning the floor and started banging on my bed and I'm pretty sure I'm almost positive that it was a Benadryl dream in fact I hope it was because that shit scared the shit out of me I'm not gonna sugarcoat it okay
Benadryl I don't trust it because the thing is whenever I take Benadryl it works for my for my allergy sure but that shit gives me the worst fucking nightmares and I just get exhausted the whole day
If there's a non drowsy Benadryl could someone let me know I used to be a pharmaceutical technician and I don't know because I'm too lazy to Google this shit I just assume I'm right all the time and it's a very arrogant way to live I'm not gonna lie anyway that's gonna do it for this episode of the Meat Wheat Podcast my voice can literally not handle anymore I'm really trying here hopefully my allergies at least calm down by next week or you're gonna hear it in the next YouTube video that I release which is gonna be the next video
I'm not gonna say soon because to be honest the hard part isn't editing the videos it's audio editing for some reason my MacBook has been acting funny and I know I'm gonna need a new one soon but I've also been looking for a house so I try to save money but help a brother out on the Patreon come on one or five dollar tiers that's all you need you don't gotta be as generous as my one contributor okay what the fuck was that
Peggy what the fuck okay Peggy just smashed in a dryer
What is up with my fucking Roomba man that thing's taking a mind of its own I started recording and it turned on
Is it voice activated is my shit AI I talked to one AI bot it tries to have sex with me and now my fucking Roomba is trying to get my attention while I'm recording the podcast this shit is
The modern world is a strange one isn't it
Did I expect to have Benadryl dreams of my Roomba trying to have sex with me no
Wow that was a very very quick generalization of everything I was about to say but kind of good that I could do that because I'm out of time I got 10 seconds left so anyway it's gonna do it for this episode of the weekly podcast I try to say that really fast but I really can't with this voice
I'll see you guys next week hopefully my voice will be better follow me on Instagram follow me on Twitter mostly on Twitter I'm not that into Instagram anymore I'm just sharing memes on there alright see you guys next week