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This week has been interesting to me, okay? Because I got a little blast from the fa-

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Fucking hell. A little blast from the past today. Look at that. Five seconds in, I'm already swearing like a sailor.

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I remember something vividly from the past and I cannot-

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I can't explain what it is. There's a phenomenon when-

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when you're on a cruise ship or in this case an aircraft carrier where

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the planes landing, they need a bit of a boost. So they'll have these giant cables that hold on to them and kind of like pull them back, you know?

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Basically a really high tension cable. The thing is every now and then these cables snap and

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when they fly back, they fly back with such a force that

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that it'll tear off a leg or shatter a completely-

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completely

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pummel a bone until it's nothing but dust still in your body. Really fucked up stuff, right?

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Okay, the thing is no matter what I googled or looked up on YouTube, I swear to God, this is a word.

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There's a word for it. I couldn't find the word. I remember hearing it. It was- it was something called like-

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like

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hyper-powered- something, right? There's a term for it. It's like when you hear water pressure and-

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in

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nautical engineering and stuff like that where it's like delta P. You know that stuff, right?

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It's a term like that where once you hear it, you know the phenomena. The thing is this cable snapping thing,

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it does have a word. I just can't find it. Google is now bullshit. I mean Google sucks.

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I can't explain it. Google has been running

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into the ground and YouTube was no help either surprisingly.

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But if anyone knows the term for when a cable snaps and it flies in a direction taking out everything in its path,

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there is a word for it. I swear to God. I'm going crazy looking for it,

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but I swear to God I remember hearing it in like an old naval training video something like that, right?

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If I find it midway through the episode, this is going to be embarrassing. I'll let you guys know. Anyway.

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Okay, after careful research, I

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may have gotten two words confused.

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Unfortunately, I even mentioned it in the beginning of the podcast, but I'm just going to say it again.

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The thing is I mentioned Delta P as an example, but it might be Delta P

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as a term for when a cable snaps and it flies in a direction taking out everything in its path.

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I'm going to let you guys know. I'm going to explain it in a little bit.

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I'm going to say it again. The thing is I mentioned Delta P as an example, but it might be Delta P that I was labeling as the...

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I had the mix, you know, I had some wires crossed. That's what happens when you don't get enough sleep.

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But I've gotten enough sleep now and I can tell you right now, I'm almost positive

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it was Delta P that I was thinking about, but I

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misinterpreted it as another video because I have this unusual obsession, right? I'm going to talk about my YouTube habits, right?

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Glasses off for this one. It's a bit of a serious episode.

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No, not really. But my YouTube recommended, as well as the videos I watch, and how do I even put this?

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Look, WowMao responded to me on Twitter. If you guys don't know who WowMao is, he makes content on the internet.

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I don't know how to explain it. You'd have to watch it yourself. It's...

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You either love it or you hate it kind of thing, but at the same time, I don't know about that. There's a lot of nuance behind it.

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I learned about multiple cultures because of WowMao insulting them.

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He's not racist. Okay? I got to make that very clear. He insults them the way that they insult themselves.

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It's like Americans when we say, ha ha, we're so fat. It's the same thing. Okay?

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The only difference is it would be like someone from Glasgow saying, ha ha, we only have this drink. You know, stuff like that.

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And with WowMao, it's not...

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It's not... I don't know. There's a lot of stuff that he makes. You know what? I'm thinking I'm getting him confused with someone else.

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Because I just remembered he also made that video. What president would you smoke with? What communist dictator would you smoke with?

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I did not know about these communist dictators until I listened to... until I watched WowMao.

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That's... that's me being legit, okay? WowMao, you responded to me on Twitter. I'm just saying, okay?

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I might even post this just so you know that you're in the next episode. Fuck it. Why not?

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This... this whole week, I'm not gonna lie. What was I talking about? Right, my YouTube habits.

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I've been watching... well, I've been watching the Elko... the epic of Gilgamesh in Sumerian, that one song.

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And Weep for Ankidu, that one guy who made the song, the really old song.

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In ancient Sumerian. He sang it in the language. Along with playing the instrument that he had.

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It's a really cool video for me. Every time I hear it, it feels unique. You know?

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Like, it feels like something that is almost... familiar. Like, obviously I'm not Sumerian, okay?

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But the thing is, Sumeria was one of the first places that was civilized, you know?

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So maybe we all are. A little percentage of it, anyway. I did a DNA test.

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In fact, let's do that. Let's look at my DNA test and see what... let me pull it up first. Fuck, I might have to sign in.

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Alright, I pulled that up. Lucky for me, I didn't have to sign in or anything.

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But I forgot that this thing says I'm 41% indigenous American. It's 41.0... uh,.2%, by the way.

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The thing I didn't know is, I don't know why it says this. It says I'm 48% southern European.

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Oh, it's because of Spain. Right, right. I'm Mexican. Um...

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Let's see. I'm looking it up, right? Here's the problem. There's 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19...

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...plus 20... okay, 20, 21, 22... 20... what the fuck? Alright.

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Okay, there's... damn it, let me start over. Alright, so there are 23 races that I am.

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I am 23 races. All mixed together. Along with 4% unassigned.

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Let's look at the explanation, okay? By the way, why do I bring up my DNA test a lot?

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Let me tell you why. Because I spent $120 and I'm gonna get my fucking money's worth, okay?

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You fucking hear me. If you're listening while I'm out, fuck you.

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I don't even know why I called you out. But there's a wide range of human diversity in the world...

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...and sometimes our algorithm is unable to match a region of your DNA to a specific population with confidence.

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Individuals whose ancestors came from multiple continents and who mixed many generations are...

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...and who mixed many generations ago typically see more unassigned ancestry in their ancestry composition.

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Individuals whose ancestors came from just one continent or individuals whose ancestors intermixed...

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...most recently typically see less unassigned ancestry.

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So, 4% of my DNA, after doing a DNA test, they don't know where it came from.

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I don't know what that means. I did just explain it, right? There's a whole fucking, you know, red tape, whatever.

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But, cool. Anyway, what the hell was I even talking about?

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I went off so far, okay? I'm on like an energy drink. I'm on a lot of stuff right now. None of which are illegal.

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What the fuck am I saying? Okay, I'm on an energy drink and I had a Gatorade.

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I also had this sausage thing that I ate when I got home.

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There was this plant-based food that I saw at Winko the other day. I was shopping with my girlfriend.

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We now have similar schedules so we can meet up after work. It's really nice.

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The thing is, I saw the plant-based version and I thought it looks like good seasoning for something else.

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So, I found the sausage with chicken meat instead of like pork and stuff. I'm trying not to eat so much pork.

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But, I also need to eat more vegetables so kind of an oxymoron, I guess.

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I don't know what oxymorons mean. I'm just assuming I'm using it right. And I'm saying it with confidence so you might be believing me.

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Fucking hell, what is this show?

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Anyway, I bought those chicken sausages. I cooked them up. I ate them a few minutes ago.

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And they fill me really fucking quickly and they taste really good.

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Why am I saying this? I don't know. My diet habit has been weird. Let me explain something, okay?

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If I felt...if I sounded like I had less energy in the previous episodes of the podcast for the last...about last month, four weeks.

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The thing is, I was doing intermittent fasting. Did it work? Absolutely. My weight, unfortunately, goes up and down and it's really fucking annoying.

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And this was mixed with exercise, okay? There's a thing about my body. I don't know what it is.

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I don't know what it is, but it keeps going up and down in weight. I'm pretty sure it's water weight.

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But at the same time, I have no choice but to be hydrated. You know what I mean?

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Let me explain something else. I don't mind it. You know, I don't mind my weight going up and down because my body is changing shape.

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I have more muscle now. Awesome. Great. Fucking based. But I really just call myself based. You know what?

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That's...I've been on Twitter way too fucking long, okay? Anyway, I like how my body is going in a direction, okay? Cool.

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I also finally found a tattoo artist who is willing to fix the tattoo that I fucked up.

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Because if you guys have the Patreon, okay? If you guys are subscribed to the Patreon, there is a video on there of me tattooing myself.

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And fucking it up badly. Very, very badly. The end result was a cat tattoo with lopsided ears that is not filled in.

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So, if you're not subscribed to the Patreon, you will not see that video. It is on there, but you can't watch it unless you're subbed.

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And later on, I'm going to do a follow up. I'm going to record when she fixes it.

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Because the thing is, it was a pre-done tattoo. It was a little cat silhouette. It was my first tattoo that I ever got.

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I paid way too much for it, and I got it after work. Instead of going home and relaxing.

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Which I probably should have done because this was during a...this is when I had a job where they specifically said I can't have tattoos.

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So I got one. Don't tell me what to do. Ooh, I'm such a rebel. No. No visible tattoos. I got it on my chest.

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So, it's all good. The only problem is, again, I got the silhouette as in...not the silhouette, the fucking outline.

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I got the outline of a cat. Because my old nickname...this is something that I waited...I think I said it in previous episodes, but no one really remembers.

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My old nickname was Kitty. K-I-T-T-Y. Don't ask me why. It was a...you know what? I miss Kara. I wonder what she's doing.

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It's an old friend of mine who gave me the nickname. We were close, and she's awesome, you know?

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I wonder what she's doing now. I don't know where she's at. I haven't heard from her in a while.

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I wish her the best in life, and I hope she's doing good. But she gave me that nickname. And the thing is, it stuck.

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And now it's a part of me forever. That cat tattoo is from when I was Kitty.

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What am I now? I guess I'm Mr. Meat Wheat? I don't know. Um...that's um...I don't know. It's sentimental, okay?

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Every tattoo I have has some sort of meaning. Which, I guess now that I'm a little bigger in the podcast...

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I'm saying this now, by the way. More viewership has come in. People have been spreading the word. Thank you all for listening, by the way.

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If you're all new to the podcast, I'm always this fucking weird.

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Except for the previous four episodes where I had a little less energy. That's because of the fasting.

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That's done with. I stopped doing intermittent fasting. I'm just...I'm probably gonna do keto. Why not? Let's see what that goes.

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By the way, thanks to the diet and the exercise, I've lost a total of like seven pounds already.

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So we're doing good. We're making progress. We just have 40 more to go, but still.

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Anyway. These tattoos. Finally time for me to tell you the meaning. My cat tattoo on my right breast.

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Right above...right above? Let me check. Oh, yeah. Right above my nipple is the little cat silhouette.

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Because my nickname Kitty, which was a very big part of my life for a while. Three or four years. It was like a late high school, early college thing.

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There's a giant tattoo in the middle that I had to hold my breath for. It took about two hours to get done.

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It's a giant black rose. Completely filled in. There was no detail or anything, right?

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It's just a solid black rose painted in. And yeah, it hurt like a bitch.

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Because it's right in the spot where...in my chest. Where if I get punched there, I'll run out of breath.

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I forget what that spot in your chest is called, but I got it right there. So my whole chest had to be shaved.

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I got it from some guy on Instagram. Really cool dude, by the way. I wish I could get more from him, but I don't know where he's been.

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I got the tattoo from him. And here's how it was done. About one minute.

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In a certain spot he was tattooing me, I had to hold my breath. And he would go for it. And then he'd say, okay. And then I would breathe.

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I had to breathe intermittently. I don't know what that noise was. That was my nose.

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But yeah, I got that tattoo done. And the thing is, there's a big story behind it, okay?

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Back in the day, before the podcast, before I was in a more clearer mental state, that tattoo was essentially a preventative measure.

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That was me putting a rose on my chest with solid black ink, basically signifying that if I die, I got you covered.

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You don't have to bring flowers to my grave. I got it for you. That's what that meant.

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Basically it was me accepting that a lot of my old friends had gone, and this was a parting gift.

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This was like me saying, even though you're gone, even though we haven't talked in a while, well, I mean, when I'm gone,

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this will be all I have to remember you, a solid black rose right on my chest, close to my heart.

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That's what that means. Anyway, next one. Ah, you thought I was going to get sentimental. No, no, no, no.

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It's just when it comes to me talking about my tattoos, every single one has to have a meaning, okay?

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I can't just get a tattoo willy-nilly. There has to be some sort of meaning behind it, or I just get them because they look cool.

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Speaking of which, my most expensive one on my right, left arm. Every time I hang out my arm from the truck when I'm driving,

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you'll see it. It's on my deltoid muscle. A really big one. Let me see how big it is. It's honestly about as big as a mic.

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I'm thinking of getting a sleeve done just because, but the thing is, I watched videos years ago about people getting tattoos

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that were cheap, like in other places, and they would form like these really big ink deposits underneath their skin,

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or they could just move it around. It traumatized me. It was absolutely terrifying. You also got to be incredibly careful

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when you get a tattoo. You have to disinfect it. You have to use a special soap. You have to use Aquafor,

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and really heal that stuff as quick as you can. This big tattoo on my arm attracted mosquitoes.

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That's how much I was bleeding for like three days. Three days of constant bleeding, Aquafor, non-scented soaps,

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just disinfected soap all over it, making sure it was pristine and beautiful. This tattoo was done by, let me look them up.

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I just wanted to make sure I got the name right. This tattoo was done by Zeke Gomez. He did an absolutely amazing job

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right there in body art in Tulare in California. It was well done. In fact, it was so well done that me and my girlfriend

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wanted me to get matching tattoos. We're pretty sure we're going to go to him because the thing is, when I saw the amount of work

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and detail and dedication that he did on my tattoo, I was hooked. The guy knows art, so if you're in the Tulare area,

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or if I sail the area now, if you want a tattoo, get it from Zeke Gomez. I'm serious, okay? Look him up on his Instagram.

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Hit him up. I'm looking at the tattoo right now, right? It's the clown tattoo where he's sitting on, it's a jester tattoo

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where he's sitting on a moon. Originally, the design was slightly different, but I wanted it more minimalist, just a little.

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Zeke had designed the face of the clown, right? Entirely the lines underneath the eyes and everything. He did a lot of stuff.

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I just wanted the eyes to be like a little flex, a little silhouette of the eyes. I didn't want it super detailed.

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What does that mean? What does that clown tattoo mean? Well, let me bring it this way. One of our previous episodes of the

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Meatweed Podcast, we mentioned the sad clown paradox, and it struck a chord with me. Now, you might be wondering,

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why mention the sad clown paradox? The thing is, the jester has always been known as the fool, you know?

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The one that the king laughs at and stuff like that. And unfortunately, people get that wrong about the jester,

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because the thing is, what other person in the kingdom can insult the king? The jester is the only one who could do that.

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While making the king laugh. Also, the tattoo's sick as fuck, I'm not going to lie. That's the main reason.

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But I also think about the amount of, I also think about that sad clown paradox. When I think of sad clowns,

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I don't think of the jester. The jester, I don't think is sad. I think it would have been Piero, Piero the clown,

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who, historically, Piero has always been the sad one. Literally, like, you can make people laugh, they'll throw tomatoes at you,

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they'll see you as a fool, they'll be like, huh, look at the funny clown, you're making people laugh, but deep down you're hurting.

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That's, that's struck a chord with me, because we also have stuff like, the sad clown paradox is, I'm just giving an example at first,

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but this is going more into, more into the nuance. The sad clown paradox would be something like Robin Williams,

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who took his own life, even though he made millions laugh, okay? It would be the silence behind the smile.

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It would be the artist who makes people laugh, makes them cry, makes them having a great time.

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Everyone watching them, absolutely blown away by the amount of detail and art, everything they do.

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Their life is cinema, their life is funny, they want, they want to spread joy in the world.

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And here's where the sad clown paradox comes in, they want to spread joy in the world because they have none.

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Because deep down, there is a sad void, a sad emptiness.

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And that struck a chord with me, because there are way too many artists, there are way too many people,

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the stigma of mental illness needs to stop, we need to talk about our problems. Now, I'm fucking serious, okay?

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Put down your giggling and everything, I'm talking real serious, every man out there listening, you gotta hear this.

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Because men are more statistically going to kill themselves, you know? Statistically more men kill themselves than women.

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Don't do it, okay? Always get help, talk to your family, talk to your loved ones. It's important, okay?

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We're seeing this shit out together, you hear me? But yeah, I didn't want to get too serious in the episode,

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but that's, that's the tattoo story, you know? It's a, it's a strong meaning, right? Every tattoo has to have a meaning.

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At first, I didn't care, but I guess I assigned the meaning after I get them.

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You know, there's always a reason for doing something, whether you want to think that there is not a reason for something, there always is.

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This is me saying it as a person who did stuff for years thinking, I don't give a fuck, so I'll do this.

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But in reality, thanks to psychology and a lot of studying that I've been doing, we know for a fact that there's always, always, always a fucking reason.

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There is no just because, there is no, I don't know, there is a reason, okay?

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There's an episode of Arthur, right? Yes, the TV show for kids. When 9-11 happened, it was, it was, let me put this, let me put it this way.

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It had to do with 9-11, but they couldn't show the towers falling, so they depicted the school burning down, and every character goes through a different stage of grief.

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Muffy loses something, Arthur himself almost loses his father, he feels like he is, but his dad gets out safe, and because of that, he's dealing with some form of PTSD where he can't leave his father's side because he's always worried he'll never see his dad again.

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Very reasonable thing. The thing is, the big bully kid, Binky, he's the only one who actually saw the flames themselves, the actual big fire destroying things.

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He has PTSD afterwards. The thing is, it never shows it directly, it never directly tells the audience he has PTSD. No, no, no, no, no. Instead it shows it. How?

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Well, let me put it this way. There are multiple reasons that, there's a lot of things. Let me skip to the end, because there's too many details for that one. But at the end, near the end anyway, Binky will go to another school.

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He's at another school at this point. He pulls the fire alarm, and he counts to the millisecond when the firefighters show up. And the reason for it, he admits, yeah I did it, I pulled the fire alarm.

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And when they ask him, why did you do that? He goes, I don't know. That's a good example of PTSD right there. People will act because there's always a reason, okay? In this case, Binky pulled the fire alarm because clearly he was trying to see how long it would take for the firefighters to actually respond in this location, as opposed to the other one where the school sadly burnt down.

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And what gets to him as well, is at some point he's watching TV and there's a fire on the TV. And because there's the same fire, you know, like, because he had that flashback moment where he remembered the fire that he saw, he has to turn off the TV and he just whimpers and cries.

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It's not a good moment. PTSD is not a beautiful thing, you know? PTSD is a...it manifests only in the person who has it. Everyone else won't see it. Normally throughout their day to day life they'll be okay. Something's got to trigger it, okay? Something's got to set it off.

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Okay, for a second I lost my train of thought, but I guess I was going somewhere with it. The main reason I'm saying this, right? Binky pulled the fire alarm because he has PTSD, but he himself goes, I don't know.

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Someone who does not have PTSD will act in certain ways as well. Why? They will act entirely based on their past. You know, maybe you had a bad childhood, maybe you had a good one.

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The problem is, these are blanket terms. When I say I had a bad childhood, what do I mean? Did I get molested? No. Did I get abused? No. Nothing bad happened to me like that, you know what I mean? Maybe I was bullied a bit as a kid? Yeah, that happened.

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You know, there's a lot of stuff. There's a lot of subtlety and nuances and we gotta quit using blanket terms. I feel like that's the problem. Too many people use blanket terms and we gotta quit doing that.

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We need to go and just think, okay, there was a reason for it. That's it. You could stop there. Because if you want to go and you want to dismember the entire process of the human thought, you will be there forever, okay?

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It's like the Buddha said. I think he said that. I remember a Buddhist story, something like that, where if you try to learn everything, it will not fit in your brain, you will go crazy.

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You know, if you try to understand everything, you will go crazy. There's some things, we're curious human beings, okay? We want to learn things, we want to know things.

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But the sad reality is we can't handle every bit of knowledge. There are some things that we will not know. This is one of them.

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And damn, I'm really like, I don't know. It's interesting for me. I've been self-reflecting, that's the thing. I've been self-reflecting a lot.

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And there's a thing that came up recently. I found a Buddhist temple nearby. I'm thinking of going as a regular participant.

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Because I've been meditating for years, but I've never actually seen a Buddhist temple this close to my house.

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The closest one I saw is when me and my girlfriend went to Hawaii. And this is significantly closer. It's a 45 minute drive, but still, you know, it looks awesome.

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Even if I don't believe the religious beliefs, I still believe in meditation, you know, self-reflection. We need to learn from our past, otherwise we're doomed to make the same mistakes.

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But at the same time, we made those mistakes and we learned from them, you know? That's the point I'm trying to get across.

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On a completely unrelated note, I mean completely unrelated, I got to try the Mr. Beast chocolate. It's not bad, I actually like it.

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It's just chocolate, you know? If anything, it tastes like a crunch bar, you know, the Nestle Crunch? There's the regular chocolate.

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I had the one with the little rice bits in it. That's why it tasted like a Nestle Crunch. The thing is, they're really small.

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I was surprised with how small they were. They're not like the size at all of a regular chocolate bar. I think it's the same amount of chocolate, but more condensed.

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I don't know, man. Fuck. I've been sitting here talking about tattoos, self-reflection, and I don't even remember what else.

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But there's another announcement. We're getting near the end of the episode, so I think I might as well go into it now.

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I reached out to some friends and I'm going to... I think I mentioned this in a previous episode, but I'm going to mention it again just in case people didn't hear it.

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I run Morbid Universe, the podcast, and episode 2 is in the works. The thing is, it is significantly longer than I thought it was going to be.

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The thing is, I reached out to some friends to get their feedback. Two people have responded with recordings and they're in the episode now.

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But I'm trying to make it like... I want to make this series a bit more serious because this specific topic is really creepy.

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But at the same time, I love how my friends are lighthearted sometimes. That's cool. I love that.

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I said I wasn't going to burp, so I burped away from the mic. But, you know, that is in the works.

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I've also done some more research as well.

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Um... um...

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Um... okay, fuck. Look, I had some chicken sausage earlier. I think I mentioned it. I may have undercooked it. Um... oh fuck.

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Okay, I'll be right back. Okay, I was not indeed right back.

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The night took way too many turns. What the fuck? First off, I left because I thought I was going to vomit. I was fine. I just gagged a bit. A little bit of gas. That's fine.

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And some stuff came up. My dogs are pregnant. Good for them, right? So we found a spot for them to get birthed.

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The problem is, before this, I took a shower. I did my routine, everything. Men take care of themselves too, you know.

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But... we left out a key detail, right?

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Well, one of my dogs is older than the other. She's pregnant again. I think a third time at this point.

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And... ugh. Okay. When dogs give birth, you know, like with any person, animal, mammal gives birth, they let out some fluids, you know, it's part of it. It's normal.

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What my mom neglected to tell me is the pillow that I moved was covered in dry afterbirth. Dry dog afterbirth, which kicked up and got on my arm.

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The smell was...

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I just showered, man. Come on.

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Did you expect to hear this after everything you heard in this podcast? No, you did not. But that's the fucking twists and turns that my life takes.

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And yours too, probably.

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I mean, fuck, man. Come on. Alright. Alright. You know what?

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No. I... I'm not gagging. I'm not gagging.

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Look, I just, you know, I didn't expect to end my night covered in dry dog afterbirth, but you know, you never know.

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So I dusted my... I'm gonna dust myself. You know what? I still feel dirty. I'm already clean, but like, I still feel dirty. You know what I mean?

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I don't know. Yeah.

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Anyway, before I leave, before I conclude this podcast episode, I bought the Tmoo collapsible washing machine.

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The one that washes a little bit of clothes. It's not bad. It's just...

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There's a lot of stuff about it that I would do differently. The thing about it, right? It comes with a plastic piece. You're not actually supposed to use it.

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And nowhere on the instructions does it say that. You're not supposed to use it because once you put it in, you can't take it out, and it makes it like...

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It has like one-tenth the capacity. So there's this little plastic thing. Don't put it in the little notches at the bottom if you ever buy it.

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I know this makes no sense to you, but if you have the machine, it'll make all the sense.

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Anyway, this is gonna do it for this episode of the Meatweed Podcast. I'm currently recovering from flashbacks of dry afterbirth.

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I'm spewing in the air like the fucking spores from The Last of Us.

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It's not going good. I just recovered from gagging from chicken sausage, man. What the fuck is this episode?

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Speaking of episodes, I'm working on the Morbid Universe episode 2. That one's gonna be a lot longer than this one.

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It's gonna be an hour, but I'm thinking of doing it way longer. I was thinking of going into a much, much deeper deep dive.

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Something far more substantial, but I think an hour's gonna have to do.

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Anyway, it's gonna do it for this episode of the Meatweed Podcast. Linktree's in the description.

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Be sure to like, comment, subscribe. Apparently that does help if I say that, so do that.

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You know, subscribe to the podcast on the YouTube channel as well. And go to the Linktree, just click around.

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Every now and then I'll have random stuff in there. There's some Easter eggs in there too. I don't know if I told you guys that, but...

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That's kind of the point of an Easter egg. You're not supposed to tell people that they're there.

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I'll just tell you, there are Easter eggs in my Linktree that go to my Twitter. I don't know, it's a lot.

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Okay, I have a big... I have a big, um... I guess internet... What's the term? What's the term?

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Internet footprint. I have a really big one. I'm also thinking of buying a VPN, which I think I need now.

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Anyway, see you guys next week.