My name's Helen Tuffy. I'm co -host of the Family
Tree Talk podcast with Nathan Ward. Hello there.
And with us today, we have a very special guest
who has joined us before and this is Jana Hauschstein.
So welcome back, Jana. Hello. And thank you for
having me. I'm having so much fun with both of
you. That's our pleasure. Last time, honestly,
guys, when we pressed stop record at the end
of the interview, then we were kind of chatting,
chatting, chatting, because there were so many
cool things that we just loved talking about.
Kind of family history in our very kind of real
sense, the way Hyana brings it to life and makes
us realize that we are part of this family history.
We might not like to think we're old, but we
are part of it, even as we live our lives, aren't
we? Definitely. Every single day. We are. So
we thought we'd have you back just so we could
carry on chatting. So should we pick up with
grandma's pickles? Like, I have to say, I've
got the words grandma pickles in my head, but
I have no idea what you were talking about or
what our train of thought was or anything. So
what on earth is so special about your grandma's
pickles? Well, let's start with the fact that
they are the tastiest pickles you have ever tasted
in your life. Well, for me, her pickles were
the only pickles I was willing to have. Because
there was, really, honestly, it was just, that
was so good. And my grandma died over 22 years,
I think 22, 23 years ago. So that was the last
time I actually tasted her pickles. Because nobody
knew how she made them. And then... what, 2026.
So three years ago, we had our 50th anniversary
of coming to Israel. So we celebrated 50 years.
And we had a huge celebration, documented everything.
All the food was everything that my grandmother
used to make. That's the only food that was allowed
on the table. And everything was photographed
and I had recipes for everything. Two weeks before
the celebration, my aunt finds my grandmother,
my grandmother's original handwritten recipe
notebook that disappeared. Nobody knew where
it was. And two weeks before the celebration,
it just appeared like. Out of nowhere. So going
through her notebook, I find the recipe for the
pickles. And I was ecstatic. I mean, for me,
that was better than lottery. That was like finding
a treasure. So I went to my mom because it was
written in Russian and I don't read or write
Russian. So she translated everything for me.
And then I said, OK, I'm going to do that. I'm
going to follow her instruction and I'm going
to have my pickles. But I wanted to do more than
that. I wanted to do two things. One, document
it. Because it wasn't enough. Her recipes went
into a family book that turned into a family
recipe book. But I wanted to do more than that.
I wanted to include the younger generation. Now,
my youngest son never met my grandmother because
he was about a year old when she died. So she
actually got to hold him. But of course, he doesn't
remember. You know, he hears stories all the
time because I always talk about my grandparents.
So I got my son, Jonathan, and he's a really
good photographer. And what I decided we're going
to do is take photos of each and every step of
the process of making those pickles. basically
taking the whole you know the whole recipe and
cutting it down into very small bits even the
ingredients when my grandmother writes the ingredients
so you know it's carrots it's of course cucumbers
and so we photographed each of them separately
and then put it into like a video like it every
every ingredient is adding up to the previous
ones and of course we made the pickles and I
could remember my grandmother because I always
used to sneak into the kitchen and try and get
my hand into the jar before it was ready so I
could hear my grandmother don't don't give it
the two weeks that you know that I needed and
once once they were ready Um, you know, I have
tears in my eyes just thinking about it because
when I, you know, took a bite of that pickle,
I was right back in my grandmother's kitchen
and it was, it was so emotional. I guess that
if somebody looking from the outside would look
at me and would think I was ridiculous, all you're
doing is just eating a pickle, you know. Get
a grip, girl. But for me, I was instantly in
my grandmother's kitchen. So I took it a step
further. And at the time, there weren't too many
options working with animation. And it was easy
with MyHeritage at the time because they had
deep story. So I had a video made. of my grandmother
giving the instructions. Of course, I animated
her, giving the instructions of how to make the
pickles step by step. I made it in Russian because
you have the option of choosing any language.
And I had one in English, but it's a language
my grandmother never spoke. So that was kind
of awkward. So I made it and Yiddish was just
too much of a hassle for me because that was
the main language she spoke. So I made one in
Russian with, I had two, I've got two videos,
one with English subtitles, one with Russian,
with Hebrew subtitles. And once I made that video
and I sent it to all my, you know, all the members
of the family that were very, very excited. And
actually two weeks ago, my aunt wrote me a message
on WhatsApp saying, I'm using the video to make,
you know, to my mother, you know, her mother's
pickles. So it's something that I have it now
on YouTube and I can send it to anyone who wants.
I promise you, best pickles ever. But also people
in the family have it. I was overjoyed when she
told me that she's making the pickles using the
video because for me that meant that it wasn't
just something on the computer. It was something
that was used and talked about and that was the
whole purpose. So that's the story of my grandmother's
pickles. I love it. I love it for two really
special reasons. One... that you often say about
it doesn't have to be like a big momentous thing
like often a little ordinary thing which is really
special and unique to us which means a lot and
then two as you say that you aren't picking up
the recipe and then when she makes it presumably
sure if she has any children or relatives living
nearby she'll say come and taste the pickles
and the story will continue and it will inevitably
kind of spark a conversation about loads of other
things. Nathan what do you think? Yeah, no, that's
lovely. That's a really nice way to remember
someone, isn't it? And yeah, I've had a similar
thing with my Nana where she was like my person
and she used to make a blackcurrant jam. And
I think I've mentioned this on the podcast before,
but she always made this big batch of blackcurrant
jam. And we had like a few in the in the larder.
And then when she died, I remember one day opening
the final jar of her jam. And it was a really
emotional thing. I thought this is the last time
I'm going to get to taste this jam of hers. And
unfortunately, she didn't leave a recipe. But
now I've had an allotment and I've got blackcurrant
bushes in my garden. I always make a point of
making jam and remembering her on that day. It's
not her recipe, but it ties me to her. And I
like that sort of thing. And that's exactly the
thing. Like you said, Helen, it doesn't have
to be big things. It's the idea of taking...
daily stuff. And whether it's, you know, in my
case, those are the pickles, but it can be any
hair, it can be a brooch, it can be, you know,
a pin, anything. Once you put a story behind
it or with it, and in 50 years, in 100 years,
in 500 years, That will be present and you will
be present with it because it comes with a story.
Nobody cares about a pen that they find, but
put a story behind it or with it, like I said,
and it gets a completely different feel to it
because now it actually feels heavier because
it has its story. And it's special. It's special
because somebody in your family held that pen
and, I don't know, wrote a letter or it was dear
to him. Or maybe that pen was received from somebody,
you know, even earlier. So as soon as something
has a story with it, that goes with it, it changes
everything. I had a really lovely experience
recently. Again, it's a really small thing. So
my dad had his 80th birthday recently. And at
the party were some people who I've known since
I was a tiny kid, like toddler. And I have a
really fond memory of them. When I was four...
And they took me, my mum and my brother sailing.
And this was really exciting for us. They had
a little yacht so we could sleep on it. And I
remember my mum was really neurotic. We were
going to fall overboard and drown. So we even
had to sleep wearing our life jackets. And that
was the biggest thing that stuck with me. And
I was quite a willful child, but she was like,
you mustn't take off the life jacket. And so
I was like, okay, this is one of those things
where I just do actually have to obey it. I have
a really fond memory, blah, blah, blah. Anyway,
scroll forward all these many, many decades.
I'm at my dad's 80th and I... see the husband
and mike and i go hey mike um because i have
my little grandson with me who's the same age
as me and my brother who was three at a time
when we went on this yacht trip so i was saying
hey to my grandson this man took me on a yacht
trip when i was your age and i was relating and
he's like i don't remember this and i was like
i can't believe he doesn't remember the yacht
trip this was like one of the most exciting things
of my childhood okay so then i went over i was
like where they even found his wife. And I was
like, Janet, Janet, I can't believe Mike doesn't
remember the yacht trip. It was so exciting to
remember you took me on the yacht with my little
brother and my mum. And she was like, oh, Mike
wasn't there. And it turned out it was Janet
and my mum who had taken these two little toddlers
on the yacht trip. So I was like, wow, go girls.
Like in the 70s, this is quite good, isn't it?
Like to have the confidence to... bat off and
the skills with two little kids on a yacht blah
blah blah because i'm always like i love retelling
the same so then i on the phone to my mom mom
can you remember like the yacht trip and she
was like oh no the reason we had to go on the
yacht trip was because janet's husband was away
and she had a really handsome friend who was
a man and she needed a chaperone so the neighbors
didn't neighbors tongues didn't lag So me and
my mum and my little brother went to the yacht
trip so that her reputation stayed clean, like
in the 1970s, so that nobody thought she was
having a dirty weekend on the yacht with her
friend who was just her friend. So then my mum
said, so what happened was my mum was giving
me and my little brother a bath. She hears thundering
up the stairs. And it's her friend Janet coming
to the bathroom going, we're going on the yacht
trip in the morning. You have to be ready to
leave. This is two little kids. Anyone who's
got little kids, you're like, whoa, we're going
sailing in the morning. We've never been sailing
in our lives. So it was quite a big thing. So
then why I love this is because I've had my mum's,
Janet, Janet's perspective being like, no, we're
just two women. Our husbands are away. We're
going off and having fun. I love that. And then
my mum's perspective. So it's really busy being
a mum and it was quite hard. Both their husbands
were in the army. So they're away a lot. So that's
quite a lot. you're effectively a single parent
a lot of the time we didn't have loads of money
um my mum worked really hard growing vegetables
and you know quite wasn't loads of money around
or anything um i have this perspective of my
mum at home looking after us she's got a friend
who doesn't knock on the door who just thunders
into the house not just into the house but up
the stairs we're full of enthusiasm we're like
we're having fun so i just have that lovely memory
of my imagining my mum in a whole different way
how I normally saw her waffle over but what I
love about these memories is the more you talk
about them you these are things which have been
stored in each person's head but it's when we
talk about them and pass them on that we they
become so much richer and more fun and and you
learn that little bit more about other people
who were part of that memory I just love it all
it's made me so happy for days and days ago I'm
still happy about it I think that Well, the two
things there. One is that, like you showed, you
know, like you told us, you had one vision or
one memory, but it's not necessarily the reality
of that moment. And that happens a lot that we
stay in our mature version with the memories,
the thoughts. the judgment that we had as children
judging other people. And we are left with that.
And unless we have the opportunity like you had,
you had Janet's perspective, you had your mom's
perspective, and you had sort of like, in a way,
reality put in front of you, that is what happened.
But that was not your experience. And what you
remember is your experience. In your case, that
was, you know, that was an amazing one. But I
had people, I've met people where the experience
was not that something that is fun to remember
because the mother was away or the father wasn't
paying attention and that's what they remember.
And I found out that once you bring it up, you
talk about it, and then you... in a way, show
them what really happened. It's not that the
mother was away. It just, she worked three, two
or three jobs and she had to, you know, she had
to keep the family. She had to get them, bring
the money home. So that is why she wasn't home
much, not because she didn't love you, but just,
you know, she was a working mother or somebody
who said, my father was never there. And he was
always angry because 50 years ago, PTSD was not
something that you actually talked about or even
realized that that's what he was. But he wasn't
just angry all the time. He was just post -traumatic.
And that was one of the things. He was angry.
He was isolated. But the experience of the child,
unless we get the opportunity to actually see
what was going on and understand it from a grown
-up point of view, we are left with that very
bitter taste and we take it on into our lives.
And it hurts. It manages us without us even realizing
that that... bit in our mind manages the way
we choose the way we look at the world the way
we make our you know make decisions and it makes
a big difference when you have this opportunity
to understand as a grown -up and in a way you
know I hope you're not thinking that I'm taking
it too far in a way you have this inner conversation
with your inner child explaining hugging, holding,
whatever. And that helps you sort of like let
go of that bitter feeling and judgment and resentment
even to your parents and understanding what was
going on. And from the grown -up point of view,
and then letting all these bad feelings go. And
that's amazing. It is amazing when you see it
happen because then all of a sudden they realize,
oh, wow, it's not that she didn't love me. She
just had to work. So in September, just to fill
anyone in if they don't know, she's doing a wonderful
course with us called The Story of You. It's
a four -week online course. When you sign up
for it, you get posted a time capsule, an actual
box with actual things in for you to actually
fill with memories and knickknacks and reflections
on your life so that you can pass it on to the
future. And you can include pickle recipes. You
can include fountain pens. You can include photographs,
whatever you like. Yeah, just as you choose.
So in there, so I've been... Yana and I would
be working really hard in the background preparing
all these course materials and I was reading
them the other day and I was really struck by
this because one of the things you wrote was
it is not therapy. And I was like, ooh, because
when Yana and I have been talking over past months
planning this course, I've definitely found reflecting
on the past really therapeutic. I'm not saying
it's official therapy, but I find it really beneficial.
And as you say, sometimes you have memories from
the past that show you're positive, sometimes
you have stressful or confusing or bitter or
all sorts of negative memories. And reflecting
on them and having that other perspective is
really helpful to stop having that. If you have
like cyclic thoughts, I'm a great one for cyclic
thoughts, which can be great if it's a point
of enthusiasm or my latest obsession with feeding
the hedgehogs. And it's really bad if it's something
negative. So I don't know, Nathan, do you want
to chip in? What do you reckon about all of this?
Yeah, I totally agree. I've definitely got loads
of like. preconceptions of the world that have
come from my parents and being able to like address
them in in adult life and just let go of it is
um it's fantastic isn't it um for me like my
parents always used to comment on other people's
children been really messy and I was very conscious
not to them be messy and I would keep everything
pristine and look after stuff I would never bend
the spine of a book because you know I wanted
to keep it as neat and tidy as ever And a few
weeks ago, my run group had a thing where we
entered a scarecrow building competition. And
the first thing we had to do was make a paper
mache head around a balloon. And it was so triggering,
this moment, because I don't get messy. I don't
touch slimy things. I don't do dirty things.
And I was so resistant to help. But then once
I started helping with it... it felt really cathartic
and I'd like I'd released something in myself
and it's like this is just pure and simple and
fun and something that has kind of been taken
away from me because I always had to be the neat
tidy one and it's it's crazy to see reflect on
these things as an adult like you're saying and
just actually be right okay I can address this
have these memories but they're not me they're
not actually who I am yeah so right so right
I think that the reason I wrote that, I honestly,
with all my heart, do believe that it's therapeutic.
I think that in a way what I try to do is, you
know, basically two things. One, when you put
the word therapy, it might create two things.
One, expectation. And two, resentment or something
that you push away because you don't want to
deal with it. So I wanted to take that kind of
out of the equation. We're doing what we're doing.
And I'm not going to have any spoilers on this
program because each and every step is a surprise.
touching something from a different perspective,
different point of view. And I 100 % believe,
and I think that our sessions actually proved
that, the ones that we did, Helen, I think that
proved it, that it is therapeutic, but I didn't
want it to be there as something that people
will either resent or expect too much. really
fair because it's a group setting isn't it so
um obviously people can be as private or as open
as they wish and they'll be like what goes on
in the group stays in the group but it can just
be family history because imagine if it's your
granny um if she is leaving you her pen and her
pickle recipe that's not deep psychological insights
but nevertheless is really strong bonding things
so people can just take it as you know that level
of interaction and that's completely fine and
then if in the process they find that they are
having moments which are, I guess, for me, when
I found it with Yen, I found it very enlightening,
calming, healing. I did. But maybe that was just
me. Maybe that was just a fluke. Maybe if I did
it again, I wouldn't do. Who knows? But I definitely
did find it a really rewarding experience on
a family history front and personal. Like, you
moved me on a bit in my life. Like, I just have
a new perspective. I find that really nice. Yeah?
So I think you're right not to... If anybody
wants to do the course, come along. You will
definitely have a great time and you'll definitely
thank your family history self for it. And any
future family will thank you for it, for having
taken that time to create your little time capsule.
And if you have any other bonuses along the side,
that's great. Exactly. I think that what I wanted
is to let people have their choices. How deep?
Because you can go with... You can take this
whole program. And like I said, I've done it
before. I've done it five times already. And
it was the things that people shared with me
as far as transformation were just, I mean, they
left me speechless. Having said that, I don't
want people to feel pressured because you can
take it as deep as you want. Just leave it, you
know, on the surface and just do the exercise.
Do any, you know, stuff that only talk about
family history. I got to say that the way it
evolves from the first session, even within the
first session, I, you know, something will happen
for sure. But I want people. to have the choice
of how far they go with it. And like you said,
we're going to be a group. So I don't, I don't,
you know, take it personally. If people don't
feel like going on camera, that's fine with me.
I know that some people or some lecturers feel
very intimidated when people are not on camera.
I really don't mind. And I want people to feel
free because once you don't feel pressured you
don't feel pressure to perform or to share then
you can be the real you and that's the purpose
of the whole thing it's the story of you and
people can take it as deep as they want and they
I want them to do whatever it takes to feel free
enough to be truthful to themselves They don't
need to tell anybody. They don't need to share
what they, you know, intimate moments of their
lives. The only thing I ask them is to be true
to themselves. And that is the starting point.
And from that point, they are free to take it
how low and how deep they want. When Yana and
I were doing it, it was just both of us two on
Zoom. And so Yana would give me like the writing
exercise. She'd go, write this, that and the
other. And so I'd be sitting there and Yana would
be in silence. And I'd be like, scratching away.
And then I'd be like, yeah, I finished. And then
sometimes I'd share with you things. And then
sometimes I wouldn't. I'd be like, no, I've just
finished writing. And it's just staying with
me. And so it's kind of, you can just play it
how you like. Yeah. Nathan you're a really um
self -reflective person aren't you like me and
Nathan both are we both try I think we both maybe
I'm saying this wrong so forgive me if I am Nathan
but I think we both view ourselves as a bit of
a project like our life's mission is to work
ourselves out and try and get better at being
us and have more fun is that right? I love learning
about myself um the last few years I've really
been exploring like what makes me me and yeah
not in like an egomaniac sort of way but just
knowing my triggers and what changes me and how
I am a better how to be a better person in life
by learning who I am and stuff so yeah I'm very
reflective I like to quote unquote do the work
yeah I don't think you can move anywhere or be
anything or anyone if you don't reflect and you
because sometimes or so many times especially
when I was very much involved with a group of
adoptees, if you don't understand what is going
on, what was behind or what was going on in your
mind when you were an infant and how your surroundings
and the people that you grew up with influenced
what you think and what you feel and the way
you grow up, the way you... structure relationships,
then people don't realize that the blueprint
that we experience up to the age of 18 months,
that would be the blueprint that will go with
us for the rest of our lives. Unless we understand
it, realize that, you know, that's what we're
doing. and make a conscious change. But I think
that I learned it over 10 years ago, but I remember
the first time that I had that realization or
I learned that bit. What we experience up to
the age of 18 months is the blueprint for the
rest of our lives. That's scary. I mean, I freaked
out. I'm like, wow. So now I have to go back
and understand what was the surroundings I lived
in up to the age of 18 months. Because it's so
crucial. Like Nathan said, you can't make a change
unless you, first of all, realize that something
else is managing you. And then make a conscious
choice to change. what do you think Nathan that
was that what happened to you yeah pretty much
yeah I've just been like basically my dad's got
Alzheimer's and when he hit with that that caused
me to have massive amount of depression and coming
out of the other side of it I was like right
I need to turn this into a positive because it's
such a dark thing and it just caused me to be
massively reflective on my entire life and then
also trying like work out who I am and who I
want to be going forward and what I want to get
out of the time that I've got whilst I'm here.
So, yeah, definitely. That's exciting. Understanding
things about yourself, I find it invigorating.
I had a really interesting experience when, you
know, I've been talking about the story of you
for a few years now and... I think that with
each workshop and with each masterclass, I go
through sort of like a process myself. And I
was looking at myself as a child coming to Israel.
I was six years old. And coming from the Soviet
Union at the time, my name was Zhanna. And I
think a week later, I was already enrolled in
school. And my first grade teacher, what she
said to me was, Jana is no good. We're going
to call you Rina. No explanation. God forbid,
never talk to my parents. She made her decision,
which I believe was, you know. Rina is a very,
very, very Israeli name. So I think that she
thought she was doing me a favor and giving me
a name that would not stand out because Zhanna
was very Russian at the time. I mean, today you
find Zhanna's left and right. But at the time,
that was so... such an outsider name and she
decided to name me differently so at six years
old I was a child living split lives or living
I had two entities I had to sort of like internalize
two entities because I was Reena at school and
with the school kids and I was still Jana at
home because that's who I was and Only so many
years later, I realized what that did to me throughout
my life and where this feeling of not good enough
came. Because at home, at home, I was the firstborn
for my parents. I was the first female grandchild.
So at home, I had the Midas touch. Everything
I said. was the most clever thing. I was the
most beautiful. I was the most funny. I was like
everything. The whole world evolved around me.
And a couple of steps to the side, going to school,
I was this newcomer with not that much of a language.
You know, I didn't speak Hebrew and I was an
outsider. And I had to... internalize those two
entities and I guess one child might say might
take the strength from home and come to class
and say well this is who I am and I'm the best
and blah blah blah and some children I guess
I was one of them at a certain point I went to
my parents and I said you are lying to me because
you have to love me because you have to think
I'm the best because I'm your daughter And I
think about it today and it, you know, it's just
sad. It's really sad. And she did something.
She never understood what was behind, what was
going on in the mind of a six -year -old and
how it all, you know, and the fact that at a
six -year -old, she told me Jada was no good.
And the effect that that had. So I went because
I wanted to belong. I went because, you know,
I am a genealogist, so I save everything. And
I have my end of the year scores from first grade.
When I came to Israel, the year has already started.
And the year at the time was divided into three.
So I actually... So there was three semesters
and I actually arrived at the close, towards
the end of the second semester. And I looked
at my, you know, at my score report and in language,
I had in, you know, in your terms, that would
be an F, a fail. At the end of the third semester,
I had an A plus in language. And all of a sudden
I realized that my need to belong, not to be
different, how strong that was that within a
few months I mastered the language. And I had
a higher score than other Israeli kids in my
class as far as written form and language and
explanation. I mean, everything that... Language,
you know, encompasses in it. And I had a higher
score than other Israeli kids in my class. That's
how desperate I was to be just as good as anybody
else. And that is something that you take with
you. You don't realize where it comes from. And
it took me a very long time to understand that.
not only I am enough, but I'm real good. I mean,
I'm good. I'm okay. And that was a realization
for me that was very emotional because the way
I saw myself was not how people saw me even as
a grown -up. I didn't see what they saw. And
once I started looking through their lens, It
was very emotional for me because it was looking
at somebody that I wanted to be but did not realise
that I'm already there. If you get what I mean.
Yeah, definitely relate to that quite a lot.
Obviously not via the history side of it. I'm
an extrovert, but I was brought up by two introverts.
And I, as a child, only child, I didn't want
to cause any trouble. So I was very quiet. Probably
until I was about 18, 19. And even then I wasn't
very loud. And now, through doing all my quote
-unquote self -reflection, unfortunately my friends
are getting unfiltered Nathan now. And I just
don't care, but I've never been more me than
now. It's quite an interesting process. That's
invigorating, I think. I mean, when you realise
that you're in the right spot, that whatever
you're doing... fills you with so much joy and
you feel so much freedom and when you say well
yeah this is not the Nathan that you've known
so far but you know newsflash this is who I am
exactly exactly that yeah my poor friends not
your poor friends I think your lucky friends
because then you do sometimes you when you meet
people who are just totally happy in their own
skin being them and then you do give other people
permission just to let their own hair down and
be like hang it i'm gonna just be myself as well
and you just like be a good good crazy ripple
in the pond and then everyone else can just stop
getting in a stew about things they don't care
about like it's fine to get in a stew about things
that you're passionate about and mean a lot to
you but if it's someone else's values that just
making you stressed just like date shit this
is this has tended to therapy session now but
um but i It's all linked, isn't it? Because I
think I got a letter recently and somebody actually
said family history isn't therapy. And I was
just like, wait a minute. I do family believe
that family history is whatever you want to make
it, which might sound a bit flim flam or whatever.
But some people are going to want to make it
into a massive research project about the village
your ancestors lived in. Other people are going
to want to. We get all the family recipes. Other
people just want to grow the massive tree or
find a long -lost parent. We all have our different
reasons. We might have a bunch of those reasons.
The thing I feel uncompromising about is we shouldn't
be telling other people what family history is.
We each can deal with it as we wish and get what
we want out of it. And I think that's okay, isn't
it? That we each have our own version of it.
Otherwise, it's trying to say the only kind of
novel you can read is this kind of novel. It's
like, no, no, there's loads of different kinds.
Oh, 100%. 100%. And also to say to someone, well,
first of all, you cannot tell anyone how to feel
about anything. You know, whatever we're feeling,
that's what we're feeling and that's okay. And
we might feel something else tomorrow and something
completely different the day after. But what
we feel... At that moment, it's like, you know,
when we talk to kids and a kid is upset because
somebody said something to him. You can't say,
oh, you know, rubbish or don't pay attention
or whatever because then you're not addressing
the fact that that child is upset and you sort
of like disregard his feelings. And that's...
We don't like when people do that to us, not
when we're kids and definitely not when we're
adults. So nobody can tell you what to feel about
anything. But also, I truly believe that to say
history repeats itself, it might sound, you know,
a little bit too big. But I do believe that if
we go back and we'll learn the stories. of our
ancestors and their lives not just the data when
they lived when they died where they're buried
you know where they moved to but actually learn
about what kind of people they were we'll find
the commonalities we'll find the threads that
follow through from generation to generation
and um and i think that if you if you you know
sort of like disregard that you are actually
uh turning away or turning your back to a very
important part within you because I I you know
it's DNA okay we get our DNA from I um well we're
talking about you know DNA so we're talking about
five or four or five maybe six generations back
but we can't You know, we can't say otherwise
because that's the way DNA works. So at least
five generations back, I've got my ancestors'
DNA inside me. And with that DNA comes other
stuff. And today we've got epigenetics and, you
know, and so many things that we know today as
science that are passed on. that are not just
the DNA, but other stuff. And just, you know,
disregarding that is, like I said, I believe
that it's actually not be willing to look at
a part of who you are. So you have to go back,
you have to look back in order to understand
why you choose what you choose, why your patterns
are the way they are. And then you can choose.
to, you know, give a gift for future generations.
And that's one of the main goals of the time
capsule is to understand who you are, what makes
you tick, decide what's important. And then those
important bits, those stories, those mantras,
though, you know, whatever is you feel that is
valued. in your life make sure that the next
generation and the generation after that is aware
of it appreciates it and can um you know embrace
it as their own and then it just goes forward
it's good looking forward to it we're doing some
of it aren't we already Yana, thank you so much
for your time today chatting with us. It's just
fun. I mean, Nathan, we're at work. I mean, you
couldn't get a much better time at work than
this morning, could you? Yeah, this is great
to get paid for. Yes, sometimes we do work really
hard at really, really boring things. So this
is a treat to be able to do fun stuff like this
and still call it work. So thank you so much,
Yana. And we're looking forward to your course
in September. And I know Nathan and I are going
to absolutely love it. And anyone else who comes
along as well will do. And so if anybody would
like to find out more, just... head over to our
website, which you know what it is. It's family
-tree .co .uk and hop in the shop and you'll
find the course there. It's called The Story
of You. So that's nice and easy to remember.
And thank you, Ed. And we'll see you all next
week then. Happy researching, guys. Thank you.
Looking forward to seeing everyone.