WEBVTT

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Motherhood, where sleep is a rumor and laundry

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is eternal. And somehow, we're supposed to be

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raising tiny humans through it all. We're here

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to laugh at the chaos, cry when necessary, and

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remind you that none of us actually know what

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we're doing. This is No Manual, a momcast. Your

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mom friend group chat, but with microphones.

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Welcome back to No Manual, a momcast. Hi everyone,

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welcome back to No Manual, a momcast. We're excited

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you're listening today. Today, we're just chatting

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about... Kind of the overarching question of

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do we have too much information as moms? And

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so before we hop into that, let's share our mom

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moments of the week. Do you want to go first?

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Yeah, I can go first. So Zeta's kind of at this

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point with sleep where we've gotten a couple

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like full nights. She's fully slept through the

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night. That's not like a regular thing yet, but

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it's happening often enough that we're like,

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okay, we're working our way there. But the biggest

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issue is, and this also means that sometimes

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like if she wakes up, like obviously if she's

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crying I go get her. But if she's just kind of

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like fussing a little bit, I try to give her

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a few minutes to be like maybe, you know, learning

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to like get yourself back down. Yeah. But the

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thing that has started to happen is she'll wake

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up enough that like I obviously need to go get

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her or she'll even just start fussing right when

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I'm in that space between being awake and asleep.

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So it's like I'm almost asleep. And that's the

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worst. I do think I would rather be fully woken

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up. Oh, yeah. Like to be actually asleep. Like,

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yes, I'm going to be groggier. Especially, you

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know, like REM cycles or whatever. It might take

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you a minute to be like, what's happening? Yeah,

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so I come to. And this happened the other night.

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I think I talked about it a little bit on our

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last episode where. She woke up at three and

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didn't go back down until five. And that is what

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kept happening is so she like woke up and she

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wasn't really crying. So I was like, okay, I'm

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going to give her a few minutes. And I like checked

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the camera and it looks like she was going to

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get herself back down. So like, okay, cool. I'm

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going to like roll over, get comfy, like right

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into the like almost asleep. She starts fussing,

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like get myself up. She stops fussing again.

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I'm like, do I just, like, go nurse her? Do I,

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like, wait? I did eventually nurse her. I don't

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remember what time that was. I did eventually

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nurse her. And then I was like, okay, like, she

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should be good. Because usually, like, the nights

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that she does wake up, that's all it is. It's

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like, I nurse her once. She's good. She goes

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back to sleep. And this time, it was like, I

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nursed her. And then, again, I thought she was

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fine. go back get like comfy in bed right between

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like right about to like be conked and she started

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crying again and it's just the worst like it's

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awful this is why i co -sleep more than i would

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would like to because of moments like yeah where

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i'm like i just can't i can't sit in a recliner

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any longer and feed this baby i'm just gonna

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lay down Which makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. And I

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mean, she does. She generally does pretty good

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in her crib. And I feel like it's just been the

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last couple of weeks. It's like she has a radar

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and she knows that I'm not asleep yet, but I'm

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almost there. And that's when she needs to cry.

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That's when I'm going to wake up. That's what

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it feels like. Yes. Because it's so consistent.

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Even we had one night last week. So our family

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has been just like trading off being sick. And

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so we were going to bed. I think we had lights

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out like. almost before 10. Wow. Because both

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Stuart and I were sick and we're like, we just

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need to go to sleep. Need to go to sleep. And

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of course that's the night she wakes up at like

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1030. Oh, brutal. Just so frequent. It's so brutal.

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So annoying. I feel like Cruz does almost the

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exact same thing. It's like, he knows when my

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head hits the pillow. Yeah. And like last night

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he was still asleep when I'm like laying in bed.

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And part of me was like, I should just stay awake

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until he decides to wake up because I know it's

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going to be soon, which it did end up being soon.

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But, like, it's, like, this part of me just fears

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the, like, when I close my eyes and settle because

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I know. That's when it happens. I know it's coming.

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So I might as well just stay awake. And then

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maybe my kids will continue to sleep. Yeah. But,

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man, brutal. It's so brutal. All right. What's

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your mom moment? Okay. So mine. Oh, my gosh.

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I felt like the worst mom in the world. I was

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right before this podcast. I was telling you

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about me crashing out this last week. This isn't

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even this case. Different crash out. Different.

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I wouldn't even say it was like a crash out,

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but it was like a moment of like frustration

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with Cole. I think it was like a solo parenting

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night. And I'm like, bedtime is always the hardest

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whenever you're solo parenting, or at least in

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my house it is. For sure. I think Colt was like

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just he would not settle and was like not he

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just kept talking. So I'm like telling him like,

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hey, buddy, you got to you got to try to calm.

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Like, yeah, it's time to time to be quiet. And

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I'm usually like trying to nurse Cruz. And so

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he's trying to fall asleep, but it's keeping

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Cruz awake. I've had many of those nights. Yes.

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Yeah. And I I got frustrated at Colt. And I don't

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remember what I said, but it was something that

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Cole, he then, he, he stopped talking. He cried.

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He was crying a little bit. And then I finally

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was like, Cole, I'm like, I'm so sorry, buddy.

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Like, what were you, what were you trying to

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tell me? What were you trying to tell mommy?

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And he just shook his head and turned the other

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way. And I was like, oh my God, I am the world's

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worst mother. I literally, my child will not

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tell me what he was saying because he's so frustrated

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at me right now. And I just cried because I felt

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so terrible. That's what we should have named

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our podcast is I feel like the World Tourist

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Mom. I feel like, yes. So many of the moments.

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I've never had that exact moment. But yeah, the

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solo bedtimes, same thing. Like just chatty,

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chatty, chatty. There was one time I told Lloyd

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that he wouldn't get mom snuggles after I finished

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nursing Zeta if he didn't stop talking. And after

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that, I was like, I probably shouldn't like.

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have my affection be something that he like has

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to earn has to earn or like i take away to take

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away his elephant if he doesn't stop talking

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yeah it's so hard because i'm like i know a lot

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of it is like at nighttime he's trying to like

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digest the day yes he's like recalling everything

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that happened he wants to talk about different

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things which i love and there's a time and a

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place for it and the hard part is when i'm like

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trying to get my other child to sleep yeah And

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that's when he wants to do that. So it's like

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it's such a hard balance because I want like

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I want to have those conversations. And yeah,

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we can stay up a little bit later to talk about

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your day. Yeah, I love that. But if it's faulting

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your sibling from sleeping, that's the hard part.

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None of us are getting sleep. No, no. And that

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is such a hard balance whenever it's solo parenting

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night. So shout out to all the single parents

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out there that are just doing this every single

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night. I don't know how you do it. I don't. And,

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you know, you deserve the world. But I felt so

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terrible when Colt just he looks at me and he

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just shakes his head and turns the other way.

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And I'm like, oh, my God. I will never know what

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you wanted to say to me in that moment. I will

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regret that for the rest of my life. I'll feel

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terrible. I also wish in those moments, what

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are they thinking? Are they just sad? Are they

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angry? Do they feel hurt? I don't know. I think

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that Colt actually felt hurt by me. He didn't

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know how to express that other than just being

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like, nope, I'm done. I'm like, oh, my God. It's

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the worst. Yeah. It makes me want to cry right

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now because I'm just like, I know we're going

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to have a bajillion more moments of that in some

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type of experience. But to have that first moment

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where I'm like, oh, my God, you just like what

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you're saying right now. I just shut you down.

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Yeah, I just shut you down because you frustrated

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me or hurt me. And so, oof, man, heartbroken

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that night. Yeah, that's rough. Okay, so what

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we're chatting about today is do we as moms have

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too much information? What would you – your first

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answer to that question? So the first thing I

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thought of when I was like – so we talked about

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this. Neither of us like really like in -depth

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prepped for this. No. Like if you're looking

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for an informational episode – There's no statistics.

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No. But the first thing I thought about – today

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as i was thinking about this is there have been

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two reality tv scandals in the past week yes

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and i have way too much information about both

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of them oh yeah because we have the taylor frankie

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paul bachelorette being canceled which also rumors

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are it's not canceled i have no idea oh really

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i don't know apparently opinions towards that

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we don't talk about it that could be another

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episode um yes so taylor frankie paul if you're

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not interested you didn't listen come to this

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for reality tv stuff but i have like way too

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much information on like what happened if they

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cancel did they not cancel like what's happening

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with her other show what actually happened in

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the video what blah blah like i don't need to

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know this much about this person i don't know

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um and then the other one i don't know this one's

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much sad well they're both terrible is one of

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the dugger from the 19 kids and counting family

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one of the so one of the sons is already in prison

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and then another one just got arrested and his

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wife also got arrested oh gosh and i didn't see

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that i like went down a rabbit hole with that

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today of like what happened why was he arrested

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why was she arrested like all of this and so

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yeah my first thought as i was preparing like

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Yes. We just have too much information in general

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because I don't need to know about any of like,

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neither of those situations affect my kids, my

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family, me, you know, like, okay, so maybe I'm

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not going to watch a TV show I was planning on

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watching because it was canceled. Like that's

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the most that affects me. And so if like. With

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this situation of just like TV shows, if I have

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way too much information there, where else do

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I have way too much information? Yeah. If that

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makes sense. Yes. Yeah. That is, I think, the

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perfect example of just we have so much exposure

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to anything that we could want to get our hands

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on. Yeah. On all sides of the spectrum. Yeah.

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The thing that I thought of when we first talked

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about doing this episode is sleep training as

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a whole. Like whatever side you are on, you can

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get information to back that side up. Oh, 100%.

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And it's really up to you to kind of filter out

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that information on what you want to believe

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or think to be true. But for someone like me,

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I'm such a like – I can be convinced very easily

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to like – switch sides of an argument or and

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this is probably like at a fault for me but like

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if someone has a very convincing argument you

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can pretty much convince good i'm like oh yeah

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that sounds great i get it so like when it comes

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to sleep training i've gone so back and forth

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on what my opinion is yeah because i can see

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the convincing argument on both sides rather

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than trying myself to form my own opinion. And

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then again, especially with sleep training, I

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feel like there are people on both sides who,

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again, have like actual data behind them. So

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then that makes it even harder, right? Because

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if you have one person who's like, you should

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do this, but they have nothing to back them up,

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then you're like, oh, they're like. not as trustworthy

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as the person who's like hey i've done all this

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research and here's all the information and all

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the studies and blah blah but when you have like

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studies on both sides like hey here are the kids

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who were sleep trained and benefited and here

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are the kids who were sleep trained and it ruined

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their lives or whatever yeah yeah you can just

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like literally get any sort of information that

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you need which we all know but like as a mom

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I think your feed is the same as mine pretty

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much because a lot of the times like you'll send

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me a reel and I'm like, oh, I've already seen

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this on my feed. But I just think that like our

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feeds, like social media feeds are curated for

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what we're looking for and what stage of life

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we're in. I don't know. It just, it knows us,

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which is crazy. But I think it's like social

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media. is so great but it can be at such a harm

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for us too of like everything is just right it's

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just right there yeah and at least for me like

00:13:19.200 --> 00:13:22.039
i can go down the like rabbit hole of like so

00:13:22.039 --> 00:13:25.120
fast i can turn off my phone and think i'm the

00:13:25.120 --> 00:13:28.440
world's worst mom Because I don't do this A,

00:13:28.539 --> 00:13:31.600
B, and C. Yeah. Well, again, like it happened

00:13:31.600 --> 00:13:35.179
so quick. Like with the reality TV things, it's

00:13:35.179 --> 00:13:38.120
like it took me less than five minutes to look

00:13:38.120 --> 00:13:41.840
at probably 10 different articles on like one

00:13:41.840 --> 00:13:46.559
situation. And this is a situation that doesn't

00:13:46.559 --> 00:13:49.080
directly affect my kids. And I'm not making decisions

00:13:49.080 --> 00:13:52.799
on. So then you have this, you know, these things

00:13:52.799 --> 00:13:55.750
where you are making decisions. everyone wants

00:13:55.750 --> 00:13:59.830
what's best for their kids so it's so like it

00:13:59.830 --> 00:14:03.850
gets paralyzing yeah because again you spend

00:14:03.850 --> 00:14:07.850
five minutes just scrolling and you have 15 different

00:14:07.850 --> 00:14:10.090
opinions that somehow are all different you're

00:14:10.090 --> 00:14:11.889
like i don't even know there could be 15 different

00:14:11.889 --> 00:14:14.730
opinions on this subject but somehow there are

00:14:14.730 --> 00:14:18.299
and they all have like somewhat valid points

00:14:18.299 --> 00:14:22.799
yeah and like what do i believe yeah yeah so

00:14:22.799 --> 00:14:25.080
then yeah that's the like whole like filtering

00:14:25.080 --> 00:14:28.679
like figuring out what works best for your family

00:14:28.679 --> 00:14:31.639
or what yeah what information you actually need

00:14:31.639 --> 00:14:35.600
to take or is affecting you at all but yeah i

00:14:35.600 --> 00:14:38.279
don't know well it's tough because like i'm also

00:14:38.279 --> 00:14:41.240
so thankful like we had my mom on i think it's

00:14:41.240 --> 00:14:46.440
almost a she experienced an ectopic pregnancy

00:14:46.440 --> 00:14:50.919
in 1997 and she didn't know what that was yeah

00:14:50.919 --> 00:14:54.919
and google didn't exist or it was young and i

00:14:54.919 --> 00:14:56.960
don't remember what your google was created but

00:14:56.960 --> 00:14:59.399
it's definitely at least young enough that it

00:14:59.399 --> 00:15:01.539
wasn't just something you did. Like it wasn't

00:15:01.539 --> 00:15:04.820
a verb yet like it is now. So even if she had

00:15:04.820 --> 00:15:06.440
gotten, you know, if her doctor was like, hey,

00:15:06.460 --> 00:15:09.059
this is what's happening. Like she told us you

00:15:09.059 --> 00:15:11.539
couldn't just like look up what does this mean.

00:15:11.740 --> 00:15:14.340
Exactly. Where now you have, you know, we have

00:15:14.340 --> 00:15:17.220
that at our disposal, which is really nice in

00:15:17.220 --> 00:15:19.960
some situations because you can look at some,

00:15:20.019 --> 00:15:23.720
you know, Google what something means or, and

00:15:23.720 --> 00:15:25.899
of course not to use that as like the be all

00:15:25.899 --> 00:15:28.190
end all, but then that can give you like. face

00:15:28.190 --> 00:15:29.830
this information and you know what questions

00:15:29.830 --> 00:15:32.549
to ask better yeah so I think so frequently you

00:15:32.549 --> 00:15:34.809
just don't even know where to start exactly and

00:15:34.809 --> 00:15:37.590
so it's nice to have this like okay now this

00:15:37.590 --> 00:15:39.429
helps me know where to start what you know again

00:15:39.429 --> 00:15:41.789
what questions to ask or should I panic should

00:15:41.789 --> 00:15:44.850
I not panic yeah and that is so nice and so helpful

00:15:44.850 --> 00:15:48.070
like I can't imagine being a mom at a time when

00:15:48.070 --> 00:15:51.389
you didn't have access to information but then

00:15:51.389 --> 00:15:54.779
like where's the balance of like no information

00:15:54.779 --> 00:15:57.460
or like you're only trusting your doctor yeah

00:15:57.460 --> 00:16:00.419
which isn't always bad but then what if you have

00:16:00.419 --> 00:16:04.179
a doctor who has who's outdated or is a bad doctor

00:16:04.179 --> 00:16:06.960
like that happens yeah then you know to swing

00:16:06.960 --> 00:16:09.860
to this other side of everyone is giving you

00:16:09.860 --> 00:16:12.980
information all the time yep it is like i think

00:16:12.980 --> 00:16:17.190
of chat GPT has been such a beneficial thing

00:16:17.190 --> 00:16:20.309
for me especially with Colt as we're trying to

00:16:20.309 --> 00:16:22.610
figure out his asthma or whatever he's dealing

00:16:22.610 --> 00:16:26.929
with and he's got really bad eczema so chat GPT

00:16:26.929 --> 00:16:30.590
has like helped us kind of figure out if those

00:16:30.590 --> 00:16:33.429
things are correlated which we think are and

00:16:33.429 --> 00:16:38.210
like just I don't know it's just been so beneficial

00:16:38.210 --> 00:16:43.389
and not being like yes I can get down the avenue

00:16:43.389 --> 00:16:45.870
of like being information overload. Yeah. But

00:16:45.870 --> 00:16:49.269
at least for us, it's like personalized in a

00:16:49.269 --> 00:16:51.110
way that we can figure out the information that

00:16:51.110 --> 00:16:53.850
we want, like we want to figure out if that makes

00:16:53.850 --> 00:16:58.490
sense. And I'm appreciative of it. And I cannot

00:16:58.490 --> 00:17:02.330
imagine being a mom of going back to like being

00:17:02.330 --> 00:17:05.869
a first time mom. Yeah. And I definitely was

00:17:05.869 --> 00:17:09.390
someone who took my first born to the pediatrician

00:17:09.390 --> 00:17:12.859
probably a little bit too much. I can't imagine

00:17:12.859 --> 00:17:16.599
how many times I may have taken him if I didn't

00:17:16.599 --> 00:17:21.099
have the internet to calm me down or just to

00:17:21.099 --> 00:17:23.740
help me like figure out like, oh, maybe, you

00:17:23.740 --> 00:17:26.779
know, wait a little bit and see if the figure

00:17:26.779 --> 00:17:29.500
drops or observe. Yeah, you don't need to freak

00:17:29.500 --> 00:17:32.720
out. And so I've talked to my mom about this

00:17:32.720 --> 00:17:35.380
multiple times about them just kind of like figuring

00:17:35.380 --> 00:17:38.619
out parenting in a sense because they didn't

00:17:38.619 --> 00:17:42.299
have. chat gpt or social media or the yeah the

00:17:42.299 --> 00:17:46.680
internet like yeah google was around but it wasn't

00:17:46.680 --> 00:17:49.039
really like just type in your question get the

00:17:49.039 --> 00:17:52.299
answer you need and so it was very much like

00:17:52.299 --> 00:17:55.059
i don't know you just figure it out figure out

00:17:55.059 --> 00:17:58.299
what works for you which i think is like a beneficial

00:17:58.299 --> 00:18:01.900
thing and yeah in a sense then there's also this

00:18:01.900 --> 00:18:05.619
piece of it where with like the whole internet

00:18:05.619 --> 00:18:10.240
you have everyone's opinion so then even if you

00:18:10.240 --> 00:18:12.960
like sit down you're like hey i looked at all

00:18:12.960 --> 00:18:16.180
the options we you know we talked about it maybe

00:18:16.180 --> 00:18:18.779
we even prayed about it like this is a decision

00:18:18.779 --> 00:18:21.039
that we feel is right for our family then you

00:18:21.039 --> 00:18:22.720
are for sure going to see someone online who

00:18:22.720 --> 00:18:25.119
is saying that like well everyone who does this

00:18:25.119 --> 00:18:27.680
hates their kids or you know maybe not in those

00:18:27.680 --> 00:18:31.000
words but is extremely you know you're going

00:18:31.000 --> 00:18:32.740
to find someone who disagrees with your decision

00:18:32.740 --> 00:18:35.720
is very vocal about it all this and you have

00:18:35.720 --> 00:18:39.640
to ignore that you know or i don't know like

00:18:39.640 --> 00:18:42.599
it used to be like when we were kids and when

00:18:42.599 --> 00:18:45.680
our parents were kids the only people like giving

00:18:45.680 --> 00:18:48.599
opinions on how you were parenting were people

00:18:48.599 --> 00:18:50.720
who either you knew personally or at least had

00:18:50.720 --> 00:18:52.960
to interact with personally yeah right so it's

00:18:52.960 --> 00:18:55.140
like maybe you would run into like someone at

00:18:55.140 --> 00:18:57.079
the grocery store who was like kind of rude because

00:18:57.079 --> 00:18:59.779
they didn't like you know the color of your kids

00:18:59.779 --> 00:19:02.670
shoes or how your kids were behaving yeah But

00:19:02.670 --> 00:19:06.470
now that is open to the world and that makes

00:19:06.470 --> 00:19:08.789
it way harder because you, then you doubt every

00:19:08.789 --> 00:19:11.430
single decision or it's easier to doubt every

00:19:11.430 --> 00:19:15.329
single decision. And yeah. And then I think now

00:19:15.329 --> 00:19:18.609
another thing is with therapy culture, which

00:19:18.609 --> 00:19:21.410
like I am pro therapy, but it's also turned into

00:19:21.410 --> 00:19:25.289
this thing where we know so much about how actions

00:19:25.289 --> 00:19:28.390
of parents can affect kids in positive and negative

00:19:28.390 --> 00:19:31.420
ways. And so then you're like, well. I don't

00:19:31.420 --> 00:19:33.740
want my kids to feel like they have to go to

00:19:33.740 --> 00:19:37.200
therapy or, you know, when they do, I don't want

00:19:37.200 --> 00:19:39.119
it to be like, oh, wow, I was the world's worst

00:19:39.119 --> 00:19:41.420
mom because of X, Y, and Z. And so you just like

00:19:41.420 --> 00:19:44.220
overthink every little decision, which of course

00:19:44.220 --> 00:19:46.680
is probably going to cause other issues. Yeah.

00:19:47.019 --> 00:19:50.119
Yeah. Oh my gosh. I completely agree with you.

00:19:50.259 --> 00:19:53.599
Like it makes me think of just, I wonder what

00:19:53.599 --> 00:19:56.539
type of mom I would be if I was a mom in the.

00:19:56.990 --> 00:20:01.369
80s or 90s just like a no internet mom yeah yeah

00:20:01.369 --> 00:20:06.009
would i be more confident i would probably say

00:20:06.009 --> 00:20:09.650
yes just because like yeah i think the people

00:20:09.650 --> 00:20:12.509
you're relying on are your close -knit circle

00:20:12.509 --> 00:20:15.250
of friends and family that are hopefully they're

00:20:15.250 --> 00:20:17.069
supporting you and teaching you and helping you

00:20:17.740 --> 00:20:20.619
Whereas now, like, we can so easily just rely

00:20:20.619 --> 00:20:23.000
on the internet or rely on social media to be

00:20:23.000 --> 00:20:26.160
like, okay, how do I do X, Y, and Z the correct

00:20:26.160 --> 00:20:31.359
way according to these other moms? Yeah. Versus,

00:20:31.359 --> 00:20:34.240
like, trusting my instinct or trusting the people

00:20:34.240 --> 00:20:36.519
around me. Yeah. Well, and that does make me

00:20:36.519 --> 00:20:38.339
wonder, too, because we've talked about, like,

00:20:38.359 --> 00:20:40.440
the whole concept of a village and, like, what

00:20:40.440 --> 00:20:43.259
does that look like now? If that is part of,

00:20:43.319 --> 00:20:45.579
like, more or less the downfall of the traditional

00:20:45.579 --> 00:20:49.549
village is, When you have a question, you know,

00:20:49.549 --> 00:20:51.930
moms have always had these questions, right?

00:20:52.009 --> 00:20:56.230
It's not like overnight moms just like all of

00:20:56.230 --> 00:20:58.309
a sudden we don't know what we're doing. Like

00:20:58.309 --> 00:21:00.730
moms have always been, you know, worried about

00:21:00.730 --> 00:21:02.549
fevers and stuff like that. And yes, there's

00:21:02.549 --> 00:21:05.369
more information now for us to maybe panic more,

00:21:05.509 --> 00:21:08.660
but. moms have always had to have questions but

00:21:08.660 --> 00:21:11.880
before it was like oh you go to your mom or your

00:21:11.880 --> 00:21:14.079
grandma your neighbor your friend who also has

00:21:14.079 --> 00:21:16.680
a baby and now it's so much easier to bypass

00:21:16.680 --> 00:21:19.359
all of those resources yep whether it's because

00:21:19.359 --> 00:21:21.519
you want an answer right now instead of waiting

00:21:21.519 --> 00:21:23.759
for someone to call you or text you back yeah

00:21:23.759 --> 00:21:27.000
or what but yeah so i wonder like how different

00:21:27.000 --> 00:21:30.299
our lives would be if we relied on the people

00:21:30.299 --> 00:21:32.940
we knew more than the internet for every question

00:21:32.940 --> 00:21:37.319
we had yeah if that would i mean I would imagine

00:21:37.319 --> 00:21:39.700
it has to be better. Right. Cause you have human

00:21:39.700 --> 00:21:43.480
connection and then they already know your opinions

00:21:43.480 --> 00:21:45.420
on certain things a little bit more like, Oh,

00:21:45.420 --> 00:21:47.920
you try to avoid these things. So this is what

00:21:47.920 --> 00:21:50.539
I'm going to recommend for you. Um, and again,

00:21:50.619 --> 00:21:52.599
you're not getting opinions from every person

00:21:52.599 --> 00:21:55.819
you've ever, or you've never met. Yeah. I think

00:21:55.819 --> 00:21:58.140
it's a lot of like, I keep going back to the

00:21:58.140 --> 00:22:02.519
world word filter, but like, I think that with

00:22:02.519 --> 00:22:06.210
family and friends, I think I just would be so

00:22:06.210 --> 00:22:09.190
much better at filtering like all of that content

00:22:09.190 --> 00:22:13.269
or all of the, maybe the opinions or like advice

00:22:13.269 --> 00:22:17.069
that they have. It's also like with real people,

00:22:17.170 --> 00:22:19.329
you know, not the internet's not real people,

00:22:19.349 --> 00:22:22.250
but they're not real people in your life. There's

00:22:22.250 --> 00:22:25.950
this level of, this might sound bad, but I think

00:22:25.950 --> 00:22:27.829
this is the only way I can phrase it. You already

00:22:27.829 --> 00:22:31.730
have opinions of them, right? In the part of,

00:22:31.849 --> 00:22:35.700
in the aspect. of like you know how they live

00:22:35.700 --> 00:22:39.579
their life so you kind of know who you're going

00:22:39.579 --> 00:22:41.460
to take and leave advice from you know there's

00:22:41.460 --> 00:22:43.880
certain people i know in our lives i'm like if

00:22:43.880 --> 00:22:45.859
they gave me parenting advice i would say thank

00:22:45.859 --> 00:22:47.720
you and i would never listen i would maybe do

00:22:47.720 --> 00:22:50.619
the exact opposite yeah because of what i know

00:22:50.619 --> 00:22:52.740
from who they are how they raise their kids like

00:22:52.740 --> 00:22:54.500
how their kids turned out whatever that might

00:22:54.500 --> 00:22:56.740
look like and then there are other people who

00:22:56.740 --> 00:23:00.200
if they give me advice i'm like oh no like i

00:23:00.200 --> 00:23:04.319
trust you You know, absolutely. If you say this

00:23:04.319 --> 00:23:06.940
is the world's best cough medicine, I'm going

00:23:06.940 --> 00:23:08.480
to trust that you're telling me the truth or

00:23:08.480 --> 00:23:11.380
at least that that's your experience. Your kids

00:23:11.380 --> 00:23:13.759
are, you know, I like you. I see how you live

00:23:13.759 --> 00:23:16.400
your life, that kind of thing. And again, it

00:23:16.400 --> 00:23:17.839
might not even be that you don't like the other

00:23:17.839 --> 00:23:20.660
person. You know, you're just like, hey, we have

00:23:20.660 --> 00:23:23.680
different opinions on how we want to do things

00:23:23.680 --> 00:23:27.119
and that's okay. But I already know how you live

00:23:27.119 --> 00:23:30.160
your life. I live my life different. And with

00:23:30.160 --> 00:23:32.539
the internet, with all this information, you

00:23:32.539 --> 00:23:34.819
know, you don't know that. You don't know how

00:23:34.819 --> 00:23:36.880
their kids actually behave in real life. You

00:23:36.880 --> 00:23:39.240
don't know. We're just seeing snippets. Yeah.

00:23:39.500 --> 00:23:43.180
What their true beliefs are, you know, are they

00:23:43.180 --> 00:23:45.640
advertising this product because they are like,

00:23:45.700 --> 00:23:47.720
Hey, I use it. And then the company said they'd

00:23:47.720 --> 00:23:51.500
pay me to advertise it. Or is it just because

00:23:51.500 --> 00:23:56.539
they were given a offer? You know? Yes. Oh my

00:23:56.539 --> 00:24:00.029
gosh. I am such a, fall into the influencer.

00:24:01.549 --> 00:24:03.809
I've had a few really good things. Click on the

00:24:03.809 --> 00:24:07.670
links that they are advertising and purchase.

00:24:08.009 --> 00:24:10.289
What's the best and worst thing that you've gotten?

00:24:11.589 --> 00:24:16.069
I mean, I oftentimes buy clothes that people

00:24:16.069 --> 00:24:20.710
are advertising. Worst thing that I've purchased?

00:24:22.700 --> 00:24:24.960
Probably some type of like skincare product.

00:24:25.259 --> 00:24:29.259
Yeah. Yeah. And like everyone's skin is so different.

00:24:29.319 --> 00:24:31.880
And so something that's going to clear up someone

00:24:31.880 --> 00:24:34.700
else's face is going to break out my face. Yeah.

00:24:34.720 --> 00:24:38.779
Yeah. So probably some type of skincare product.

00:24:38.980 --> 00:24:43.299
Yeah. Which I am like such a, yeah, such a purchaser

00:24:43.299 --> 00:24:47.920
of my Amazon saved for later cart is like. Thousands

00:24:47.920 --> 00:24:51.140
of dollars. Oh, thousands of dollars. Absolutely.

00:24:51.759 --> 00:24:54.640
It's almost satisfactory to me to just put it

00:24:54.640 --> 00:24:59.099
in my cart. It's like that dopamine hit is just

00:24:59.099 --> 00:25:01.500
from putting it in your cart. Yes. And then going

00:25:01.500 --> 00:25:03.799
back a couple days later and being like, oh,

00:25:03.839 --> 00:25:05.680
I actually don't need that. But I'm going to

00:25:05.680 --> 00:25:10.279
save it for later in case I change my mind. But

00:25:10.279 --> 00:25:13.440
I, like, I have a few, like, influencers that

00:25:13.440 --> 00:25:16.599
I follow on Instagram that, like, if they advertise

00:25:16.599 --> 00:25:19.400
anything, well, they could easily. They could

00:25:19.400 --> 00:25:20.519
sell you anything. Yeah, they could sell you

00:25:20.519 --> 00:25:22.440
anything. Although I also feel like this is,

00:25:22.539 --> 00:25:25.140
we're in just, like, a very chatty mood today,

00:25:25.220 --> 00:25:27.380
I feel like. I feel like I have found a few specific

00:25:27.380 --> 00:25:29.779
influencers that I'm like, oh, no, I do trust

00:25:29.779 --> 00:25:32.359
your opinion. Yes, yep. Because there are a few

00:25:32.359 --> 00:25:34.440
people that I've, like. bought something after

00:25:34.440 --> 00:25:37.099
they've advertised and it's been good so i'm

00:25:37.099 --> 00:25:39.380
like okay like you've convinced yeah you've convinced

00:25:39.380 --> 00:25:42.200
me that like you actually believe in the products

00:25:42.200 --> 00:25:45.539
that you're advertising versus just taking whatever

00:25:45.539 --> 00:25:49.059
yeah whatever money comes your way exactly i

00:25:49.059 --> 00:25:50.980
mean there's been multiple times there's a specific

00:25:50.980 --> 00:25:53.680
influencer that i follow she must have a brand

00:25:53.680 --> 00:25:59.960
deal with this poop pill like tmi everybody but

00:25:59.960 --> 00:26:03.579
like these poop pills for adults basically to

00:26:03.579 --> 00:26:06.920
like help you regulate yeah and i have been multiple

00:26:06.920 --> 00:26:09.740
times almost convinced that i need to buy this

00:26:09.740 --> 00:26:13.880
whereas tmi i'm sorry i don't have any problem

00:26:13.880 --> 00:26:17.819
with this currently and so i don't know why i've

00:26:17.819 --> 00:26:20.500
been like well i mean she's selling it to me

00:26:20.500 --> 00:26:23.420
so i need it i need it and i'm like this is why

00:26:23.420 --> 00:26:25.660
you have millions of followers on instagram it's

00:26:25.660 --> 00:26:27.220
because you're so good at this it's because you

00:26:27.220 --> 00:26:29.970
are so convincing and like you can get someone

00:26:29.970 --> 00:26:33.930
like me to buy poop pills. And so social media

00:26:33.930 --> 00:26:39.829
really just, you know, background to our real

00:26:39.829 --> 00:26:43.670
topic, our real top topic. Social media is very

00:26:43.670 --> 00:26:47.789
convincing to me. And if it's word, something

00:26:47.789 --> 00:26:53.180
is worded in a certain fashion. I can be convinced

00:26:53.180 --> 00:26:56.900
of anything basically, which I think is not out

00:26:56.900 --> 00:26:59.880
of the norm. Maybe, maybe it is. Yeah. I mean,

00:26:59.900 --> 00:27:03.940
I think part of it is like the, they, you know,

00:27:03.940 --> 00:27:06.779
have figured out like how to word things right.

00:27:06.880 --> 00:27:09.420
That like it hits you in the right spots in the

00:27:09.420 --> 00:27:12.839
brain to, to convince you of things. And like,

00:27:12.960 --> 00:27:16.380
we know that there are like certain words and

00:27:16.380 --> 00:27:19.259
certain triggers and certain. you know, where

00:27:19.259 --> 00:27:22.640
like when you pull an emotion, it is more convincing

00:27:22.640 --> 00:27:26.160
than logic most of the time. Not for everyone,

00:27:26.220 --> 00:27:29.359
but yeah, I don't think it's just you in just

00:27:29.359 --> 00:27:32.140
that like, yeah, when you get someone's emotions

00:27:32.140 --> 00:27:35.279
involved or again, just phrasing something just

00:27:35.279 --> 00:27:38.119
the right way, it makes it easier to convince

00:27:38.119 --> 00:27:40.720
someone to do anything. Oh yeah. I swear my feed,

00:27:40.779 --> 00:27:43.900
like my Instagram feed specifically, is like

00:27:43.900 --> 00:27:48.170
tailored to me even by time of day. This just

00:27:48.170 --> 00:27:50.069
kind of went through my brain right now. But

00:27:50.069 --> 00:27:52.049
like anytime I'm sending you a reel that's like

00:27:52.049 --> 00:27:55.190
emotional, like the one I sent you last night

00:27:55.190 --> 00:27:58.650
where I was like, this made me cry. It just was

00:27:58.650 --> 00:28:02.089
like one of those ones where like 70 years from

00:28:02.089 --> 00:28:05.349
now when you drive by your old house. Why are

00:28:05.349 --> 00:28:06.769
you doing this to me? Yeah, and I'm like, this

00:28:06.769 --> 00:28:10.029
legit made me cry. And you were probably nursing

00:28:10.029 --> 00:28:13.430
Chris to sleep. Oh, actually, yes. I'm like,

00:28:13.470 --> 00:28:15.559
these are the types of. And I only know that

00:28:15.559 --> 00:28:18.299
because I had just gotten my kids down. Which

00:28:18.299 --> 00:28:21.339
is usually how our – Erica gets her kids down

00:28:21.339 --> 00:28:25.339
first because their schedule is much better than

00:28:25.339 --> 00:28:28.819
ours and usually we're rolling far behind that.

00:28:29.160 --> 00:28:31.920
Yeah, I feel like those are the types of posts

00:28:31.920 --> 00:28:34.480
that like pop up on my feed at like 8, 9 o 'clock

00:28:34.480 --> 00:28:37.039
at night where it's like the emotional like –

00:28:37.470 --> 00:28:41.250
Looking back years from now, you're living in

00:28:41.250 --> 00:28:45.490
the good old days. Cherish every moment. Capture

00:28:45.490 --> 00:28:50.910
every experience and study their hands and all

00:28:50.910 --> 00:28:53.569
those things. And then during the day, it's all

00:28:53.569 --> 00:28:58.349
the chaotic mom, balancing stay -at -home mom

00:28:58.349 --> 00:29:03.069
stuff. Here's activities for your kids. Here's

00:29:03.069 --> 00:29:07.509
quick recipes, blah, blah, blah. Instagram, the

00:29:07.509 --> 00:29:10.690
algorithm, it knows what it's doing. It knows

00:29:10.690 --> 00:29:16.710
when and what emotions it needs to put out for

00:29:16.710 --> 00:29:20.170
me to connect with it the most and continue to

00:29:20.170 --> 00:29:25.630
scroll and convince me of things or just get

00:29:25.630 --> 00:29:29.769
me in the headspace of I'm going to continue

00:29:29.769 --> 00:29:33.109
just to be on this app. Yeah. So, I mean, good

00:29:33.109 --> 00:29:35.930
for them. They figured it out. They figured it

00:29:35.930 --> 00:29:39.049
out. And I feel like it's just tailored so perfectly

00:29:39.049 --> 00:29:44.630
for me to what stage of life I'm in, which can

00:29:44.630 --> 00:29:47.630
some days be at fault, like make me feel like

00:29:47.630 --> 00:29:49.829
the world's worst mom, like we talked about.

00:29:49.950 --> 00:29:52.809
Some days it makes me feel like I'm like, okay,

00:29:52.849 --> 00:29:56.359
I've got this. I'm doing okay. Other moms are

00:29:56.359 --> 00:29:59.160
like feeling the chaos that I'm feeling. Like

00:29:59.160 --> 00:30:01.819
we're all in this together. Yeah. And so I think

00:30:01.819 --> 00:30:04.359
that's a big part of it too is like with all

00:30:04.359 --> 00:30:07.420
of the information that is being given to us,

00:30:07.460 --> 00:30:11.759
it makes me almost feel like I'm not the only

00:30:11.759 --> 00:30:16.380
one. Yeah. And that moms are like. uh wrestling

00:30:16.380 --> 00:30:19.579
the same emotions that i'm wrestling with yeah

00:30:19.579 --> 00:30:22.759
that is one of the like huge benefits i think

00:30:22.759 --> 00:30:28.380
is seeing like oh this is universal yeah um and

00:30:28.380 --> 00:30:31.200
it's you know it's not just me and it's not just

00:30:31.200 --> 00:30:34.059
you know and it's not just me and you like this

00:30:34.059 --> 00:30:37.500
is something all over i saw a reel today of actually

00:30:37.500 --> 00:30:42.079
a grandma saying she was watching her toddler

00:30:42.079 --> 00:30:44.839
grandchild like for a weekend or something like

00:30:44.839 --> 00:30:49.440
that so that her kid and their spouse could go

00:30:49.440 --> 00:30:52.759
away for a weekend something like that and she

00:30:52.759 --> 00:30:54.460
was saying you know it's been a long time since

00:30:54.460 --> 00:30:57.460
i've had a toddler 24 7 and i forgot how hard

00:30:57.460 --> 00:31:01.579
it was and that was like so nice to hear yeah

00:31:01.579 --> 00:31:06.140
because so often it just feels like oh, I'm just

00:31:06.140 --> 00:31:08.599
failing. Like this isn't supposed to be hard

00:31:08.599 --> 00:31:11.140
and I'm just like not doing a good job. But so

00:31:11.140 --> 00:31:13.200
then, you know, I mean, this is kind of turning

00:31:13.200 --> 00:31:18.200
more into like just internet thing. But yeah,

00:31:18.279 --> 00:31:20.539
so then it was nice to hear like this older mom

00:31:20.539 --> 00:31:25.940
who now has grandkids saying, no, it is hard.

00:31:26.180 --> 00:31:28.640
And being out of it and going back into it, I

00:31:28.640 --> 00:31:32.500
can say for a fact, like this just is a difficult

00:31:32.500 --> 00:31:35.660
thing to deal with. Yeah, because then it's like,

00:31:35.779 --> 00:31:38.759
oh, okay, I'm doing a hard thing and that's why

00:31:38.759 --> 00:31:42.019
it's hard. I'm not just bad at it. Exactly. Because

00:31:42.019 --> 00:31:44.980
so frequently, and then again, the bad part of,

00:31:45.000 --> 00:31:46.839
you know, scrolling through Instagram, then you

00:31:46.839 --> 00:31:48.700
see the mom who, like, her hair is perfectly

00:31:48.700 --> 00:31:51.259
coiffed. You're like, how did you, like, I didn't

00:31:51.259 --> 00:31:53.640
have time to even, like, brush my hair today.

00:31:53.759 --> 00:31:56.299
I still have no bra on and it's 4 p .m. And,

00:31:56.359 --> 00:31:59.440
you know, she's... Got the, you know, the little

00:31:59.440 --> 00:32:02.519
heart shaped salad or sandwiches and all of the

00:32:02.519 --> 00:32:04.920
things. And like my kids were lucky that they

00:32:04.920 --> 00:32:07.599
ate today because. Yeah. Because it's just so

00:32:07.599 --> 00:32:11.500
chaotic. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. So like there's

00:32:11.500 --> 00:32:15.180
kind of this, again, double edged sword of seeing

00:32:15.180 --> 00:32:18.200
like people who honestly that's probably not

00:32:18.200 --> 00:32:20.940
their reality. Or if it is, they just have a

00:32:20.940 --> 00:32:23.019
different like set of resources than most of

00:32:23.019 --> 00:32:25.819
us. Like most of us are not paying for house

00:32:25.819 --> 00:32:30.470
cleaners and. all of the benefits like that.

00:32:30.589 --> 00:32:33.930
Um, but then, yeah, to see the videos, to see,

00:32:34.009 --> 00:32:36.210
you know, a grandma like that or other moms saying

00:32:36.210 --> 00:32:39.049
like, Oh, this is really hard. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

00:32:39.089 --> 00:32:41.990
They forgot. That was like, so my dad and stepmom

00:32:41.990 --> 00:32:45.130
are in town right now. Um, and my, I was doing

00:32:45.130 --> 00:32:47.750
the dishes last night and this was after a rough

00:32:47.750 --> 00:32:50.630
bedtime and my dad like came up to me and he

00:32:50.630 --> 00:32:52.869
was like, I'm proud of you. Like you're balancing

00:32:52.869 --> 00:32:57.680
a lot right now. And like, I, I, cannot imagine

00:32:57.680 --> 00:33:01.599
you're handling it so well. And I just was like,

00:33:01.640 --> 00:33:05.619
that's exactly what I needed to hear in that

00:33:05.619 --> 00:33:09.779
moment because I feel like I'm supposed to carry

00:33:09.779 --> 00:33:13.079
it all and carry it all well and gracefully.

00:33:13.279 --> 00:33:16.920
And most of the time I feel like I'm one of those

00:33:16.920 --> 00:33:21.160
waiters who's holding a really large amount of

00:33:21.160 --> 00:33:24.960
dishes and just drops them all and they shatter.

00:33:25.839 --> 00:33:28.700
And that's more times than not, I feel like that

00:33:28.700 --> 00:33:32.359
type of like waitress and rather than someone

00:33:32.359 --> 00:33:35.680
who can balance it all. And so just to hear that,

00:33:35.740 --> 00:33:38.440
like that's oftentimes like all I need to hear.

00:33:38.619 --> 00:33:42.539
Yeah. Is like, no, you're balancing a lot right

00:33:42.539 --> 00:33:45.740
now and you're doing a good job. Yeah. Even just

00:33:45.740 --> 00:33:47.940
the acknowledgement of like. no you're doing

00:33:47.940 --> 00:33:50.839
a lot it's nice because you're like oh no oh

00:33:50.839 --> 00:33:54.279
yeah I am yeah because I do this every day so

00:33:54.279 --> 00:33:56.759
I forget this is not just like yeah everyone's

00:33:56.759 --> 00:34:00.299
life or the norm yeah I think it goes both ways

00:34:00.299 --> 00:34:03.279
just to bring it kind of back around like I think

00:34:03.279 --> 00:34:06.319
the information that we that is accessible to

00:34:06.319 --> 00:34:10.599
us can be both good and bad depending on the

00:34:10.599 --> 00:34:14.030
way that we like consume it consume it yeah yeah

00:34:14.030 --> 00:34:16.909
i think so i don't know if i said this on mic

00:34:16.909 --> 00:34:19.170
i don't know if i said this to you actually uh

00:34:19.170 --> 00:34:24.150
i heard someone online uh say how the world was

00:34:24.150 --> 00:34:26.670
better when the internet stayed in one room and

00:34:26.670 --> 00:34:28.650
i thought that was really interesting and like

00:34:28.650 --> 00:34:30.829
it's like yeah that's how it was when we were

00:34:30.829 --> 00:34:33.840
kids it's like you had a desktop computer My

00:34:33.840 --> 00:34:35.400
family was crazy because my dad had a laptop

00:34:35.400 --> 00:34:38.960
because he is a computer, he's a software engineer.

00:34:39.400 --> 00:34:42.539
We definitely did not have a laptop. So we had

00:34:42.539 --> 00:34:44.559
two whole computers in my house because my dad

00:34:44.559 --> 00:34:46.619
had his and then we had the family computer,

00:34:46.719 --> 00:34:49.199
but it stayed on a desk in the, desktop stayed

00:34:49.199 --> 00:34:52.139
on a desk in the kitchen. Was it one like you

00:34:52.139 --> 00:34:54.300
couldn't be on the phone and the internet at

00:34:54.300 --> 00:34:56.780
the same time? So I do remember that, but again,

00:34:56.820 --> 00:34:59.260
with my dad's job and he, he didn't fully work

00:34:59.260 --> 00:35:01.300
from home, but he would do work from home. We

00:35:01.300 --> 00:35:06.119
had to like get, separate yeah pretty quick yeah

00:35:06.119 --> 00:35:09.099
so like i do remember dial -up yeah but i feel

00:35:09.099 --> 00:35:11.420
like we got rid of it sooner than a lot of people

00:35:11.420 --> 00:35:15.860
because of just like dad working from home and

00:35:15.860 --> 00:35:19.059
yeah yeah i love that so yeah for me i'm like

00:35:19.059 --> 00:35:22.679
how how do i make that like a reality because

00:35:22.679 --> 00:35:25.280
that's true where it's like if i could go google

00:35:25.280 --> 00:35:29.019
something but it wasn't in my pocket like i had

00:35:29.019 --> 00:35:32.380
to go do something so actually one of the things

00:35:32.380 --> 00:35:35.079
i've done because i felt super convicted of how

00:35:35.079 --> 00:35:37.219
much time i spend on my phone yeah around the

00:35:37.219 --> 00:35:40.280
kids have you gotten the targeted ads for brick

00:35:40.280 --> 00:35:43.219
oh i know what it is but i haven't gotten ads

00:35:43.219 --> 00:35:45.599
for it i'm sure i will now yeah it heard me and

00:35:45.599 --> 00:35:47.539
so you'll see it yes um so if you don't know

00:35:47.539 --> 00:35:49.739
what it is it connects to the screen time on

00:35:49.739 --> 00:35:54.519
your phone and you can select up to 50 apps but

00:35:54.519 --> 00:35:57.280
basically more or less as many apps within 50

00:35:57.280 --> 00:36:00.880
as you want to brick them so it makes it so you

00:36:00.880 --> 00:36:03.340
can't access them but the way to turn it off

00:36:03.340 --> 00:36:05.800
is you have to go physically tap something um

00:36:05.800 --> 00:36:09.579
instead of like the built -in screen time for

00:36:09.579 --> 00:36:11.840
your phone you can just like tap a button and

00:36:11.840 --> 00:36:14.840
it might require a pass i want more time yeah

00:36:14.840 --> 00:36:17.820
so you have to like go physically tap something

00:36:17.820 --> 00:36:22.449
and that has helped me just like not doom scroll.

00:36:22.809 --> 00:36:24.989
Yeah, that's good. Because I have to – I need

00:36:24.989 --> 00:36:27.150
to get that. I have it set up on a schedule so

00:36:27.150 --> 00:36:29.590
it like automatically shuts down certain apps

00:36:29.590 --> 00:36:32.150
for certain times of the day. And then if I want

00:36:32.150 --> 00:36:33.929
to change that, I have to like go do something.

00:36:34.030 --> 00:36:36.989
And most of the time when I do open Instagram,

00:36:37.110 --> 00:36:39.610
like this is such an embarrassing thing. I don't

00:36:39.610 --> 00:36:41.449
even think about it. It's just like all of a

00:36:41.449 --> 00:36:43.929
sudden it's open. Yeah, like you open your phone

00:36:43.929 --> 00:36:45.809
and then it's like – And then five minutes later

00:36:45.809 --> 00:36:48.730
you're like, what? What am I doing? Why am I

00:36:48.730 --> 00:36:50.809
not paying attention to my kids right now? Why

00:36:50.809 --> 00:36:53.170
am I scrolling on Instagram and letting them

00:36:53.170 --> 00:36:57.409
do whatever? So I feel like stuff like that is

00:36:57.409 --> 00:37:01.289
kind of a nice like step in the direction of

00:37:01.289 --> 00:37:04.489
keeping the internet in one place because you

00:37:04.489 --> 00:37:06.869
can't shut things down to an extent. And then

00:37:06.869 --> 00:37:10.159
it's like, do I want to get up? yeah to do this

00:37:10.159 --> 00:37:12.539
and most of the time the answer is no or at least

00:37:12.539 --> 00:37:14.760
makes you second guess i'm like okay i can do

00:37:14.760 --> 00:37:17.019
this yeah i don't need to be doing this right

00:37:17.019 --> 00:37:20.019
now right i can look this up later um and then

00:37:20.019 --> 00:37:21.960
for that it's nice because since you can pick

00:37:21.960 --> 00:37:25.079
the apps there are certain things like like the

00:37:25.079 --> 00:37:27.539
king supers app where it's like i order our groceries

00:37:27.539 --> 00:37:29.500
on the king supers app so like i'm not gonna

00:37:29.500 --> 00:37:32.099
like access yeah i'm not gonna keep that shut

00:37:32.099 --> 00:37:34.059
down i also don't just like scroll the kings

00:37:34.059 --> 00:37:36.579
like that is a purely functional that's like

00:37:36.579 --> 00:37:38.920
a whole new level of like oh my god i need to

00:37:38.920 --> 00:37:41.159
figure this out if i'm just scrolling through

00:37:41.159 --> 00:37:43.440
groceries yeah i haven't gotten there yet so

00:37:43.440 --> 00:37:47.000
if i do uh then i think i need someone come get

00:37:47.000 --> 00:37:49.579
me yeah that's when i just go to a flip phone

00:37:49.579 --> 00:37:52.019
and yeah for real throw away the smartphone oh

00:37:52.019 --> 00:37:55.019
my gosh yeah to like have access to the internet

00:37:55.019 --> 00:37:58.420
but have it be limited so it's not with you all

00:37:58.420 --> 00:38:01.360
the time and you can enjoy time in places with

00:38:01.360 --> 00:38:04.159
people and if you want to look something up you

00:38:04.159 --> 00:38:07.320
kind of have to like take a beat before you do

00:38:07.320 --> 00:38:11.179
just by nature so i yeah i think that's one of

00:38:11.179 --> 00:38:12.519
the things that i've been trying to figure out

00:38:12.519 --> 00:38:16.219
with both like my own brain and access to information

00:38:16.219 --> 00:38:20.300
but then also then for my kids and like showing

00:38:20.300 --> 00:38:22.659
them an example like how do we keep things in

00:38:22.659 --> 00:38:26.679
one place yeah or like certain times yeah that's

00:38:26.679 --> 00:38:29.099
so true it's like going back to like wanting

00:38:29.099 --> 00:38:32.719
your kids to experience a 90s childhood like

00:38:32.719 --> 00:38:36.659
i so badly like My childhood was like we spent

00:38:36.659 --> 00:38:38.980
so much time outside. Oh, yeah. You're outside

00:38:38.980 --> 00:38:41.199
all the time. Yeah. So many of my childhood memories

00:38:41.199 --> 00:38:44.679
are just me and my siblings literally like playing

00:38:44.679 --> 00:38:48.699
in the dirt or making miniature golf courses

00:38:48.699 --> 00:38:52.619
out of nothing, like the most random things.

00:38:52.960 --> 00:38:55.739
And I'm like, that's what I want for my kids.

00:38:56.039 --> 00:38:58.179
Yeah. Yesterday at your house, our boys were

00:38:58.179 --> 00:39:00.619
throwing dirt at each other. I was kind of like.

00:39:00.909 --> 00:39:02.750
All right. I'm fine with it. Yeah. I don't really

00:39:02.750 --> 00:39:05.989
care. Like this is wholesome. Is it going to

00:39:05.989 --> 00:39:08.289
be kind of annoying to clean you up? Yeah. Probably.

00:39:08.849 --> 00:39:12.190
But like that's also the cost of just letting

00:39:12.190 --> 00:39:15.429
you be little boys. Yes. Yep. Yeah. That's like

00:39:15.429 --> 00:39:18.570
that's one thing that is so hard for me. Is the

00:39:18.570 --> 00:39:20.909
cleaning up. Is the mess. Yeah. Like Cole is

00:39:20.909 --> 00:39:24.230
really into painting right now and. At least

00:39:24.230 --> 00:39:26.329
it's nice out so you can start sending him outside

00:39:26.329 --> 00:39:29.170
for that. That's so true. And Cruz is really

00:39:29.170 --> 00:39:32.550
into digging in the dirt. And I love that for

00:39:32.550 --> 00:39:37.130
them. I hate the cleanup. And I'm so like trying

00:39:37.130 --> 00:39:40.789
so hard to just let it go and realize like bath

00:39:40.789 --> 00:39:42.929
night is going to be pretty much every night

00:39:42.929 --> 00:39:46.070
now, especially in the summer. Yes. And that's

00:39:46.070 --> 00:39:48.510
okay. But I would much rather that than have

00:39:48.510 --> 00:39:51.909
kids that are like addicted to screens or gaining

00:39:51.909 --> 00:39:56.639
too much information from watching TV or. scrolling

00:39:56.639 --> 00:39:58.460
on my phone there's also just like an innocence

00:39:58.460 --> 00:40:01.739
that you want to protect i do and again back

00:40:01.739 --> 00:40:03.840
to like too much infinite information for moms

00:40:03.840 --> 00:40:06.579
there's a level of innocence i wish i had yeah

00:40:06.579 --> 00:40:09.139
you know yes there are things that i'm so grateful

00:40:09.139 --> 00:40:11.920
that i know and know like how to protect my kids

00:40:11.920 --> 00:40:14.159
from certain things but then there are days when

00:40:14.159 --> 00:40:16.139
i you know i read something i hear something

00:40:16.139 --> 00:40:18.619
like that's it you are never leaving our house

00:40:18.619 --> 00:40:21.130
ever No one is ever allowed to babysit you. I'm

00:40:21.130 --> 00:40:23.389
not leaving you alone with anyone. I don't care

00:40:23.389 --> 00:40:25.349
who they are, how long I've known them. You're

00:40:25.349 --> 00:40:28.630
never, ever going to public school. You're never

00:40:28.630 --> 00:40:32.269
having a sleepover. Absolutely not. You're never

00:40:32.269 --> 00:40:36.909
leaving my line of vision in your life. And obviously

00:40:36.909 --> 00:40:40.210
I know that's not realistic, but you get a certain

00:40:40.210 --> 00:40:43.010
amount of information and it feels like that's

00:40:43.010 --> 00:40:45.949
your only option. So there's a level of wanting

00:40:45.949 --> 00:40:49.619
to protect myself and go, okay, I want, pieces

00:40:49.619 --> 00:40:53.539
of this and also not to know details and not

00:40:53.539 --> 00:40:56.219
to know so much that it like paralyzes me and

00:40:56.219 --> 00:40:58.619
i can't just let my kids be kids yeah and again

00:40:58.619 --> 00:41:00.960
with the balance of knowing enough that i can

00:41:00.960 --> 00:41:04.139
protect them yeah you know and especially in

00:41:04.139 --> 00:41:07.320
today's world like it is it really is such a

00:41:07.320 --> 00:41:09.900
different world than when we were kids and that

00:41:09.900 --> 00:41:14.519
is so frightening to me because a lot of it is

00:41:14.519 --> 00:41:17.969
like yeah you have to kind of let go and trust

00:41:17.969 --> 00:41:21.469
that the Lord is going to protect your kids or

00:41:21.469 --> 00:41:24.769
you become, you're not leaving my line of vision.

00:41:24.849 --> 00:41:27.050
Yeah. Which then causes all sorts of other issues

00:41:27.050 --> 00:41:30.510
that we all know. Cause we all know that kid.

00:41:30.630 --> 00:41:34.429
We all know the person. Like I always think of

00:41:34.429 --> 00:41:37.170
other kids I knew growing up and the ones with

00:41:37.170 --> 00:41:39.469
the strictest parents, like they were the ones

00:41:39.469 --> 00:41:42.929
doing the worst things. Like the parents who,

00:41:43.030 --> 00:41:47.480
I mean, there is the other extreme too but yeah

00:41:47.480 --> 00:41:50.519
the parents who were like had rules but weren't

00:41:50.519 --> 00:41:54.619
so strict like their kids were doing like normal

00:41:54.619 --> 00:41:57.820
kid things like maybe testing boundaries they're

00:41:57.820 --> 00:41:59.900
like no i know the ones and i know how they were

00:41:59.900 --> 00:42:01.579
getting away with things too because they told

00:42:01.579 --> 00:42:06.219
me yeah yes yeah i know that's such a fine balance

00:42:06.219 --> 00:42:09.800
of like as we're thinking about how are we going

00:42:09.800 --> 00:42:12.400
to discipline or raise like what information

00:42:12.400 --> 00:42:15.960
do we allow our kids to know? What kind of exposure,

00:42:15.960 --> 00:42:17.579
like they're going to be exposed to things we

00:42:17.579 --> 00:42:20.059
don't want them to be exposed to probably younger

00:42:20.059 --> 00:42:23.059
than we want them to be. Like going to try real

00:42:23.059 --> 00:42:26.059
hard to not make that happen. But like, I can't

00:42:26.059 --> 00:42:29.179
keep you locked in your room for forever. And

00:42:29.179 --> 00:42:32.519
so that is, it's such a hard balance of like,

00:42:32.619 --> 00:42:36.760
no, we have to let them. learn and be exposed

00:42:36.760 --> 00:42:39.420
to things we don't want them to be exposed to

00:42:39.420 --> 00:42:43.039
potentially and trust that like our parenting

00:42:43.039 --> 00:42:45.980
and stuff can help bring them back and yeah yeah

00:42:45.980 --> 00:42:49.719
gosh I'm grateful that I was a kid in the 90s

00:42:49.719 --> 00:42:54.130
and yes yeah prayers up for parents all these

00:42:54.130 --> 00:42:58.190
kids now parents today and kids now and I truly

00:42:58.190 --> 00:43:01.050
and wholeheartedly believe like a lot of people

00:43:01.050 --> 00:43:03.269
are saying like oh they don't want to have kids

00:43:03.269 --> 00:43:06.590
in today's day and age but I truly and wholeheartedly

00:43:06.590 --> 00:43:10.289
believe like our kids are built for like today's

00:43:10.289 --> 00:43:13.210
world and yeah when I think one of the things

00:43:13.210 --> 00:43:17.730
Stuart and I talked about recently is this is

00:43:17.730 --> 00:43:21.409
how you change the world like yes there are things

00:43:21.409 --> 00:43:25.869
that we can do while we're here but then we die

00:43:25.869 --> 00:43:29.769
yeah and that's and then we're dead that's it

00:43:29.769 --> 00:43:32.690
yeah you know it doesn't matter how much people

00:43:32.690 --> 00:43:34.750
liked us like yes there are things like you can

00:43:34.750 --> 00:43:37.730
leave a legacy and you know whatever but the

00:43:37.730 --> 00:43:41.889
real impact is raising other humans and how they're

00:43:41.889 --> 00:43:45.199
gonna then affect the world. Yeah. Yeah. It's

00:43:45.199 --> 00:43:47.440
kind of a lot of weight to carry in a sense.

00:43:47.619 --> 00:43:51.300
It's just like a nice light. Yeah. There's like

00:43:51.300 --> 00:43:53.400
a lot of pressure towards it, especially like

00:43:53.400 --> 00:43:55.719
with the chaos of this world. Like I want my

00:43:55.719 --> 00:44:00.260
kids to be kind. I want my kids to be generous

00:44:00.260 --> 00:44:04.139
and giving. And I also want them to be strong

00:44:04.139 --> 00:44:09.880
and brave and be able to navigate the world with

00:44:09.880 --> 00:44:14.900
confidence. Those are all qualities that we have

00:44:14.900 --> 00:44:17.139
to teach them and instill in them. Some of it,

00:44:17.139 --> 00:44:19.280
yeah, maybe they're born more confident than.

00:44:19.340 --> 00:44:22.639
Sure, yeah, there's personalities. I feel like

00:44:22.639 --> 00:44:25.780
sometimes I can really feel the weight of that

00:44:25.780 --> 00:44:30.059
and knowing we're responsible to help them grow

00:44:30.059 --> 00:44:32.539
to be those types of people. Yeah, it's this

00:44:32.539 --> 00:44:36.739
weird balance of being very exciting and being

00:44:36.739 --> 00:44:38.519
very scary because you're like, I don't want

00:44:38.519 --> 00:44:42.730
to mess this up. And also like, It's really cool

00:44:42.730 --> 00:44:46.989
that this is that, you know, me going down slides

00:44:46.989 --> 00:44:50.690
at a playground and pushing swings is eventually

00:44:50.690 --> 00:44:53.989
going to affect the world in a sense, you know.

00:44:54.030 --> 00:44:57.150
And, you know, I don't expect either of my kids

00:44:57.150 --> 00:44:59.309
or any kids that we have to necessarily be like

00:44:59.309 --> 00:45:01.909
these huge influential, everyone knows their

00:45:01.909 --> 00:45:04.500
names. If that happens, like. That's great. I

00:45:04.500 --> 00:45:05.820
hope it's for a positive thing. Yeah, I hope

00:45:05.820 --> 00:45:08.679
it's positive. You know, I hope they have a really

00:45:08.679 --> 00:45:10.800
good influence in a major way if that's what

00:45:10.800 --> 00:45:14.719
happens. But then also just like looking at the

00:45:14.719 --> 00:45:17.599
small things that, you know, a lot of times that

00:45:17.599 --> 00:45:20.920
is a much bigger impact than we give it credit

00:45:20.920 --> 00:45:24.960
for. Yep, 100%. Okay. I don't know we're going

00:45:24.960 --> 00:45:26.940
to title this episode because we started in one

00:45:26.940 --> 00:45:30.300
place. I know. We probably have too much information

00:45:30.300 --> 00:45:33.139
as moms. But I think we can make the best of

00:45:33.139 --> 00:45:36.059
it. It just depends on how we choose to accept

00:45:36.059 --> 00:45:39.219
it and consume it. Maybe not taking everything

00:45:39.219 --> 00:45:43.820
as fact. Forming your own opinion. Looking to

00:45:43.820 --> 00:45:46.900
those around you to help you form your own opinion.

00:45:49.210 --> 00:45:52.150
of our like takeaway at least for me now that

00:45:52.150 --> 00:45:54.110
we're talking about this i'm like i think maybe

00:45:54.110 --> 00:45:58.150
i want to ask people around me first before i

00:45:58.150 --> 00:46:01.349
like google something which is easier said than

00:46:01.349 --> 00:46:04.630
done yeah and then also it's just so quick and

00:46:04.630 --> 00:46:08.449
it is yeah yeah my first instinct is to go like

00:46:08.449 --> 00:46:11.130
oh well why is my kid doing blah blah blah versus

00:46:11.130 --> 00:46:15.230
let me call my mom really quick why is he doing

00:46:15.230 --> 00:46:18.650
this And it's just so much easier and at the

00:46:18.650 --> 00:46:21.269
push of a button. But I completely agree with

00:46:21.269 --> 00:46:23.650
you. Yeah. And then trying to find the internet,

00:46:23.769 --> 00:46:25.710
a way to make the internet live in one place

00:46:25.710 --> 00:46:27.869
instead of being with me all the time. I love

00:46:27.869 --> 00:46:29.789
that. I need to look into getting a brick. I

00:46:29.789 --> 00:46:32.530
think I can send you a link now. Oh, cool. Give

00:46:32.530 --> 00:46:33.909
you like 10 % off or something like that. Oh,

00:46:33.909 --> 00:46:39.130
love it. Influencer status. Okay. Well, do you

00:46:39.130 --> 00:46:41.909
want to share your win of the week? Yeah. So

00:46:41.909 --> 00:46:45.289
it's really just that we've had such nice weather

00:46:45.289 --> 00:46:50.420
lately. Oh my God. That's my win. We don't talk

00:46:50.420 --> 00:46:54.039
about these things before we hit record. Yeah,

00:46:54.179 --> 00:46:57.059
we've had such nice weather. I think the only

00:46:57.059 --> 00:46:59.079
day this week we did not go to a playground was

00:46:59.079 --> 00:47:01.539
because we went to Costco. Yes, which is also

00:47:01.539 --> 00:47:03.199
a playground in itself. In its own way, yeah.

00:47:03.980 --> 00:47:06.400
And I think we've gone to a different playground

00:47:06.400 --> 00:47:09.619
every day, which has been fun. Our neighborhood

00:47:09.619 --> 00:47:12.960
itself doesn't have great options. Yeah, so you

00:47:12.960 --> 00:47:14.860
guys usually drive to. We usually drive to one.

00:47:16.460 --> 00:47:18.559
Yeah, so we have like a couple go -to and then

00:47:18.559 --> 00:47:21.360
we tried a new one that was not good. It was

00:47:21.360 --> 00:47:24.219
all sand. Like there was a play structure on

00:47:24.219 --> 00:47:27.920
it, but instead of like wood chips or that like

00:47:27.920 --> 00:47:30.719
weird rubbery stuff, it was all sand. And both

00:47:30.719 --> 00:47:33.800
Stuart and I were like, we don't want to do this

00:47:33.800 --> 00:47:37.219
again because it just turned into a mess. Speaking

00:47:37.219 --> 00:47:39.739
of the mess. Yeah, but it's just been, it's so

00:47:39.739 --> 00:47:42.780
nice. We like open the windows up every day and

00:47:42.780 --> 00:47:46.119
go on little walks. That's what Lloyd likes to

00:47:46.119 --> 00:47:49.360
go on, a little walk. Will you say that, mom,

00:47:49.440 --> 00:47:52.179
little walk? That's cute. That's how he says

00:47:52.179 --> 00:47:56.079
it. And so even for my lunch break, it's kind

00:47:56.079 --> 00:47:59.000
of, usually it's just like getting lunch on the

00:47:59.000 --> 00:48:01.739
table and then try to get them down for a nap

00:48:01.739 --> 00:48:04.260
before my lunch break is over. But I've kind

00:48:04.260 --> 00:48:07.139
of shifted this. So it's like, hey. I'm probably

00:48:07.139 --> 00:48:08.880
going to get them down for a nap after my lunch

00:48:08.880 --> 00:48:10.440
breaks over. But we're going to go on a walk

00:48:10.440 --> 00:48:12.460
and get outside and get some fresh air. Yeah,

00:48:12.460 --> 00:48:15.440
that's great. And I feel like it's helped everyone's

00:48:15.440 --> 00:48:18.119
mood. And yeah, it's just so nice. That's so

00:48:18.119 --> 00:48:21.119
great. Yeah, that's literally my win. We've pretty

00:48:21.119 --> 00:48:23.139
much gone to the park every single day. Like

00:48:23.139 --> 00:48:25.679
if you don't know, we're in Colorado, which like

00:48:25.679 --> 00:48:28.400
usually this time of year, it's still quite snowy

00:48:28.400 --> 00:48:30.780
and cold. I mean, usually we don't, at least

00:48:30.780 --> 00:48:32.219
don't have this much. Like we would have like

00:48:32.219 --> 00:48:34.219
one day that's really nice and you can go to

00:48:34.219 --> 00:48:36.659
the park, but not. Like it's legit been like

00:48:36.659 --> 00:48:39.300
in the 70s and 80s for the past like week and

00:48:39.300 --> 00:48:43.199
a half. And it has like been so good for, I just

00:48:43.199 --> 00:48:46.579
can see it in every, like all of our mental health.

00:48:47.719 --> 00:48:50.440
When I can just open up the windows or, like,

00:48:50.460 --> 00:48:53.599
just have the front door open, like, and let

00:48:53.599 --> 00:48:56.199
some light in, some fresh air in, and we can

00:48:56.199 --> 00:48:59.699
just play in the backyard, like, that helps all

00:48:59.699 --> 00:49:02.360
of our moods. Yeah. And, yeah, we've been going

00:49:02.360 --> 00:49:04.119
to the park pretty much every day. Like, Colt

00:49:04.119 --> 00:49:06.119
will – I'll, like, put Cruz in the stroller,

00:49:06.139 --> 00:49:08.739
and Colt will ride his – we have, like, an ATV

00:49:08.739 --> 00:49:12.539
for him. Oh, yeah. And he will ride his ATV to

00:49:12.539 --> 00:49:16.719
the park and then play, and it just has created

00:49:16.719 --> 00:49:19.739
– such a different energy in our house i think

00:49:19.739 --> 00:49:22.480
yeah i think like we're all designed to get outside

00:49:22.480 --> 00:49:26.960
more um i saw something that when i saw it just

00:49:26.960 --> 00:49:30.199
it makes me feel like so guilty as mom but also

00:49:30.199 --> 00:49:33.059
this is just like our reality is that like for

00:49:33.059 --> 00:49:34.820
development kids should be spending two hours

00:49:34.820 --> 00:49:37.679
a day outside and of course just with working

00:49:37.679 --> 00:49:41.039
yeah that's not realistic for me at all and you

00:49:41.039 --> 00:49:43.380
guys don't really have a backyard like you yeah

00:49:43.380 --> 00:49:45.760
yeah that's one thing Stuart and I have decided

00:49:45.760 --> 00:49:48.599
for our next house for like outdoor space is

00:49:48.599 --> 00:49:51.800
like one of our top priorities yeah because it's

00:49:51.800 --> 00:49:53.780
so nice just like go outside and run around like

00:49:53.780 --> 00:49:55.719
all of us just sit outside I don't know something

00:49:55.719 --> 00:49:58.820
yeah but yeah so of course like reading that

00:49:58.820 --> 00:50:01.039
I'm like oh I'm a terrible mom because I can't

00:50:01.039 --> 00:50:03.420
do that but that of course Again, this is just

00:50:03.420 --> 00:50:05.579
our reality is I work, so we can't go outside

00:50:05.579 --> 00:50:08.219
every day or at least definitely not for two

00:50:08.219 --> 00:50:09.840
hours. Have you seen that challenge where it's

00:50:09.840 --> 00:50:12.739
like in a year spending a thousand hours outside?

00:50:13.000 --> 00:50:16.119
No. Yeah. It's like something I've seen a couple

00:50:16.119 --> 00:50:18.599
of times that families have like taken on like

00:50:18.599 --> 00:50:21.480
as a New Year's resolution, basically like, okay,

00:50:21.500 --> 00:50:23.460
we're going to spend a thousand hours outside

00:50:23.460 --> 00:50:27.440
this year, which I think is so great, which comes

00:50:27.440 --> 00:50:30.590
down to it's like. two and a half ish hours oh

00:50:30.590 --> 00:50:33.929
actually no like three like three hours a day

00:50:33.929 --> 00:50:36.090
okay and that's not bad especially because you're

00:50:36.090 --> 00:50:38.389
gonna have like saturdays where you can spend

00:50:38.389 --> 00:50:40.710
all day outside and then you have you know winter

00:50:40.710 --> 00:50:43.989
days where maybe not at all yeah but i think

00:50:43.989 --> 00:50:46.349
that's such a cool challenge i don't think i

00:50:46.349 --> 00:50:49.269
would really track it but it's also just like

00:50:49.269 --> 00:50:51.929
a good goal to have is like spending as much

00:50:51.929 --> 00:50:54.949
time outside focusing on that yeah um yeah because

00:50:54.949 --> 00:50:57.989
it definitely helps everyone and oh my gosh yes

00:50:57.989 --> 00:51:01.969
lloyd loves just like just running in grass that's

00:51:01.969 --> 00:51:04.289
it we don't have to even i mean he loves going

00:51:04.289 --> 00:51:06.909
to playgrounds but again our neighborhood doesn't

00:51:06.909 --> 00:51:08.570
have a lot so if we're just like trying to do

00:51:08.570 --> 00:51:10.789
something quick there's like a grassy area near

00:51:10.789 --> 00:51:13.230
our house and just run around yeah like do you

00:51:13.230 --> 00:51:15.230
want to go run in the grass run in the grass

00:51:16.380 --> 00:51:19.280
okay and then we just let's go yeah walk over

00:51:19.280 --> 00:51:22.099
and he just runs around and runs up the hill

00:51:22.099 --> 00:51:26.320
and laughs and yeah see let's bring those childhoods

00:51:26.320 --> 00:51:30.039
back yes let's do it okay well thanks for um

00:51:30.039 --> 00:51:33.739
tuning in to today's podcast hopefully we can

00:51:33.739 --> 00:51:35.559
all kind of filter out that information that

00:51:35.559 --> 00:51:39.280
we get um the internet's not all true no yeah

00:51:39.280 --> 00:51:42.000
wherever you get your information just hopefully

00:51:42.000 --> 00:51:45.329
you can Use your discretion. Use at your discretion.

00:51:45.650 --> 00:51:48.650
Follow us on social media at nomanualpodcast.

00:51:48.869 --> 00:51:51.670
Speaking of too much information, follow us on

00:51:51.670 --> 00:51:53.530
social media. But we don't post information.

00:51:53.650 --> 00:51:56.750
We don't post a ton. Just reels and, yeah, give

00:51:56.750 --> 00:52:00.070
us a follow. Send us to your friends, fellow

00:52:00.070 --> 00:52:03.449
moms. But thanks for tuning in. We love you guys,

00:52:03.489 --> 00:52:05.070
and we'll see you next week. See you next week.

00:52:05.590 --> 00:52:09.000
Well, that's enough oversharing for today. If

00:52:09.000 --> 00:52:10.800
you enjoyed hanging out with us, hit subscribe

00:52:10.800 --> 00:52:13.860
so you don't miss the next round of chaos. And

00:52:13.860 --> 00:52:15.519
if you're listening while hiding in the bathroom

00:52:15.519 --> 00:52:18.219
from your kids, no judgment, we see you. Thanks

00:52:18.219 --> 00:52:21.019
for joining us on No Manual Momcast, where motherhood

00:52:21.019 --> 00:52:24.679
is messy. At least we can laugh about it together.

00:52:41.449 --> 00:52:44.309
Chocolate chip cookie. That's so cute. Sorry.