WEBVTT 00:00:19.299 --> 00:00:21.539 motherhood where sleep is a rumor and laundry 00:00:21.539 --> 00:00:24.300 is eternal and somehow we're supposed to be raising 00:00:24.300 --> 00:00:26.920 tiny humans through it all we're here to laugh 00:00:26.920 --> 00:00:29.859 at the chaos cry when necessary and remind you 00:00:29.859 --> 00:00:31.940 that none of us actually know what we're doing 00:00:31.940 --> 00:00:35.100 this is no manual a mom cast your mom friend 00:00:35.100 --> 00:00:38.159 group chat but with microphones well welcome 00:00:38.159 --> 00:00:42.200 back to no manual a mom cast this week laura 00:00:42.200 --> 00:00:45.200 is actually enjoying some time with her family 00:00:45.200 --> 00:00:49.960 they're on vacation so my Co -host today is my 00:00:49.960 --> 00:00:52.299 husband, Stuart, and we're just going to do a 00:00:52.299 --> 00:00:55.200 fun episode where you're going to talk kind of 00:00:55.200 --> 00:00:57.880 about, really you're running this one. I've done 00:00:57.880 --> 00:01:01.079 like almost no prep, which is kind of nice, but 00:01:01.079 --> 00:01:04.120 you're going to kind of talk about what you want 00:01:04.120 --> 00:01:06.379 to teach our kids more or less. Yeah, things 00:01:06.379 --> 00:01:09.579 that I want to pass on to our kids. Yeah. But 00:01:09.579 --> 00:01:12.400 before we start that, do you have a mom moment 00:01:12.400 --> 00:01:16.810 you'd like to share for this week? Yes. I have 00:01:16.810 --> 00:01:19.090 kind of become the parent that I said I never 00:01:19.090 --> 00:01:23.189 would who dishes out empty threats. Which also 00:01:23.189 --> 00:01:25.650 drives me crazy. I know because they can't be 00:01:25.650 --> 00:01:27.750 enforced. Like last week we were at church and 00:01:27.750 --> 00:01:30.310 Lloyd was running off like right before Sunday 00:01:30.310 --> 00:01:32.790 school opened. And I said, Lloyd, do you want 00:01:32.790 --> 00:01:34.870 to go to class or do you want to go home? And 00:01:34.870 --> 00:01:37.390 you had no intention of taking the kids home 00:01:37.390 --> 00:01:40.150 after you got them up, got them to church, got 00:01:40.150 --> 00:01:42.269 the whole day ready. There's no way you're just 00:01:42.269 --> 00:01:45.420 going to bail. It did mean something to him. 00:01:45.420 --> 00:01:47.260 And he was like, oh, I want to go to Sunday school. 00:01:47.359 --> 00:01:49.840 So we dodged a bullet there. There was another 00:01:49.840 --> 00:01:52.959 time at dinner that I said, Lloyd, do you want 00:01:52.959 --> 00:01:55.319 to finish your dinner? Do you need to go to bed 00:01:55.319 --> 00:01:58.659 right now without a book? And it was like six 00:01:58.659 --> 00:02:00.280 o 'clock. There's no way we're doing bedtime. 00:02:00.439 --> 00:02:01.959 That's going to make the whole next day just 00:02:01.959 --> 00:02:05.180 hell for you. So that was a complete empty threat. 00:02:05.280 --> 00:02:07.700 And I don't know if that one took. I can't really 00:02:07.700 --> 00:02:11.080 remember. Completely empty. I think for a second 00:02:11.080 --> 00:02:13.039 he was like, go to bed. And we're like, you want 00:02:13.039 --> 00:02:15.060 to go to bed right now? And then he kind of changed 00:02:15.060 --> 00:02:18.099 his mind. Well, the other terrible thing that 00:02:18.099 --> 00:02:20.860 we both have a hard time with is when there's 00:02:20.860 --> 00:02:23.280 something that like we're looking forward to. 00:02:23.800 --> 00:02:27.259 So I think it was probably last week. We were 00:02:27.259 --> 00:02:29.620 like, Kate, tonight is our family movie night. 00:02:29.699 --> 00:02:32.219 We're going to watch Cars 3 together. We tried 00:02:32.219 --> 00:02:33.620 to convince Lloyd to watch a different movie, 00:02:33.719 --> 00:02:36.960 but he said Cars 3 was the only choice. And he 00:02:36.960 --> 00:02:39.419 was just like not behaving well at dinner. And 00:02:39.419 --> 00:02:42.099 we were both like, we don't want to take this 00:02:42.099 --> 00:02:45.080 movie away from us. We've both had a long week. 00:02:45.080 --> 00:02:47.319 We're tired. We're getting the futon out. Yeah, 00:02:47.360 --> 00:02:49.460 we just want to have like a fun, snuggly movie 00:02:49.460 --> 00:02:52.860 night. But he's not behaving. So like this also 00:02:52.860 --> 00:02:56.099 punishes ourselves if we take this away. But 00:02:56.099 --> 00:02:58.680 also he needs some sort of discipline and punishment 00:02:58.680 --> 00:03:02.280 for spitting his milk on the floor. Yeah. What 00:03:02.280 --> 00:03:06.439 about your mom moment? So mine. You were there 00:03:06.439 --> 00:03:10.460 for, of course. But we took the kids to the playground 00:03:10.460 --> 00:03:12.659 one day this week and Lloyd was on the big kid 00:03:12.659 --> 00:03:15.020 swings for the first time. Like we've set him 00:03:15.020 --> 00:03:17.039 on the big kid swings a couple times, but usually 00:03:17.039 --> 00:03:18.659 he gets scared and he just wants to get down. 00:03:18.879 --> 00:03:21.240 But he swung for probably like 20 minutes. Yeah, 00:03:21.300 --> 00:03:24.159 it was great. So also like very proud of him, 00:03:24.259 --> 00:03:27.699 core memory. But since he's not used to them, 00:03:27.759 --> 00:03:30.139 we both kept reminding him to like hold on really 00:03:30.139 --> 00:03:33.169 tight. And the thing he kept doing to let us 00:03:33.169 --> 00:03:35.490 know that he was holding on really tight is he 00:03:35.490 --> 00:03:38.870 would let go and then show us his fists of holding, 00:03:38.990 --> 00:03:43.229 like, how tightly he was holding on. So he would 00:03:43.229 --> 00:03:45.569 let go to let us know he was holding on tight. 00:03:45.870 --> 00:03:49.389 It was great. It was so funny. And I think one 00:03:49.389 --> 00:03:51.629 time he did almost slip and he like caught himself, 00:03:51.689 --> 00:03:53.870 which he's like, I shouldn't do that. I should 00:03:53.870 --> 00:03:56.009 hold on tight. And then when I was looking at 00:03:56.009 --> 00:03:57.909 the pictures we took, it's funny to look at his 00:03:57.909 --> 00:04:01.550 hands. Cause he's like white knuckle. So, so 00:04:01.550 --> 00:04:05.389 much. Yeah. Which at this age is what I want 00:04:05.389 --> 00:04:08.409 him to do. And yeah, safe. In a year, he'll learn 00:04:08.409 --> 00:04:10.330 to jump off and do flips and stuff like that. 00:04:10.370 --> 00:04:12.110 And that will be great. Rule number three, safety 00:04:12.110 --> 00:04:16.910 first. Exactly. All right. Well, do you just 00:04:16.910 --> 00:04:19.290 kind of want to take off then with what you got? 00:04:19.350 --> 00:04:21.110 Yeah, for sure. Okay. Well, some things I want 00:04:21.110 --> 00:04:23.389 to instill in our children that some of these 00:04:23.389 --> 00:04:25.550 are like uniquely dad. Some of these are things 00:04:25.550 --> 00:04:29.490 I wish had been done for me. And some of them 00:04:29.490 --> 00:04:32.459 are just things that are uniquely me. that I 00:04:32.459 --> 00:04:33.000 know you probably won't do. I think you should 00:04:33.000 --> 00:04:34.939 specify the ones that your parents did terribly. 00:04:35.120 --> 00:04:37.680 Yeah, just straight childhood trauma. That's 00:04:37.680 --> 00:04:39.899 all this episode is, is a dump. My first one 00:04:39.899 --> 00:04:42.920 is kind of mushy and basic, is Christ comes first. 00:04:43.300 --> 00:04:47.740 And I feel like since Lloyd is starting to understand 00:04:47.740 --> 00:04:51.459 things and gain some rationale and situational 00:04:51.459 --> 00:04:54.199 awareness, we're doing better about introducing 00:04:54.199 --> 00:04:57.939 the Bible verses and teaching him that God loves 00:04:57.939 --> 00:05:00.629 him even more than mom and dad do. And things 00:05:00.629 --> 00:05:02.709 like that, because my parents, I mean, they were 00:05:02.709 --> 00:05:04.670 Christian when I was born, but they didn't really 00:05:04.670 --> 00:05:08.370 get super into it until I was like three or four. 00:05:08.509 --> 00:05:11.129 And so Lloyd's approaching that age where he's 00:05:11.129 --> 00:05:12.970 going to start understanding. And I think that 00:05:12.970 --> 00:05:14.790 we can really take opportunities that present 00:05:14.790 --> 00:05:17.930 themselves to instill like faithfulness and God's 00:05:17.930 --> 00:05:20.209 love into him. Yeah, obviously, I agree with 00:05:20.209 --> 00:05:21.870 that one. And that's something that's important 00:05:21.870 --> 00:05:24.910 to me, too. I mean, you know this, I just got 00:05:24.910 --> 00:05:28.449 like a box of... I think it's like 600 Bible 00:05:28.449 --> 00:05:30.649 verses or something like that on index cards. 00:05:31.009 --> 00:05:33.949 So we can have like a weekly Bible verse. And 00:05:33.949 --> 00:05:37.269 part of that is for myself to better my knowledge. 00:05:37.449 --> 00:05:40.670 And I mean, there's a lot of Bible verses that 00:05:40.670 --> 00:05:42.889 I know I know, but kind of remind myself of that 00:05:42.889 --> 00:05:45.870 and then learn new ones along with him. So I 00:05:45.870 --> 00:05:49.920 also think so many now adults. When they look 00:05:49.920 --> 00:05:51.639 back at their Christian childhood, they're like, 00:05:51.699 --> 00:05:53.660 well, this was like, quote unquote, instilled 00:05:53.660 --> 00:05:55.500 on me. But in my home, like no one practiced 00:05:55.500 --> 00:05:58.439 anything. Right. Which is like, yes, the hard 00:05:58.439 --> 00:06:01.259 part of like literally practicing what you preached 00:06:01.259 --> 00:06:03.740 to your kid. And having the flashcards around 00:06:03.740 --> 00:06:07.560 is even like a reminder to do it. And it takes 00:06:07.560 --> 00:06:09.519 away the analysis paralysis of like, well, what 00:06:09.519 --> 00:06:10.759 do I want to teach him? Do I want to teach him 00:06:10.759 --> 00:06:13.040 Jeremiah or like Proverbs? Yeah. Well, and the 00:06:13.040 --> 00:06:15.519 other reason I decided to get the flashcards 00:06:15.519 --> 00:06:19.120 is there's that of like. Where do we even start? 00:06:19.560 --> 00:06:22.180 But then there are verses that I know I would 00:06:22.180 --> 00:06:24.879 never think. So like we literally, I got the 00:06:24.879 --> 00:06:29.420 box, I think two days ago and I pulled one out 00:06:29.420 --> 00:06:31.480 today. So like, that's how new this is for us. 00:06:31.819 --> 00:06:34.579 And naturally at the very front of the box is 00:06:34.579 --> 00:06:37.060 Genesis one, one, the very first verse of the 00:06:37.060 --> 00:06:40.339 Bible, which is funny. Cause I never would have 00:06:40.339 --> 00:06:43.800 thought to teach him that. But when I was thinking 00:06:43.800 --> 00:06:46.730 it through, I was like, Oh, I have. like probably 00:06:46.730 --> 00:06:49.990 the first three verses memorized because that 00:06:49.990 --> 00:06:51.529 was something I was taught when I was a kid. 00:06:51.730 --> 00:06:53.910 Um, so like, obviously this is one that makes 00:06:53.910 --> 00:06:56.490 sense to teach him, but it would not have occurred 00:06:56.490 --> 00:06:59.529 to me on my own. God created the heaven and the, 00:06:59.629 --> 00:07:01.689 well, he does it through a mouthful of Ebbabas. 00:07:02.170 --> 00:07:05.490 Heaven and the earth. It's great. And he can 00:07:05.490 --> 00:07:08.209 kind of pronounce Genesis, which is really impressive. 00:07:08.310 --> 00:07:11.490 Genesis one, one. Yep. The next one I have is 00:07:11.490 --> 00:07:14.670 you can always afford to help other people. And 00:07:14.670 --> 00:07:16.689 I feel like we've talked about this before that 00:07:16.689 --> 00:07:19.850 you've commented on my generosity and I just 00:07:19.850 --> 00:07:22.810 thought it was like a good thing to help other 00:07:22.810 --> 00:07:25.629 people financially or do what you can for other 00:07:25.629 --> 00:07:28.529 people. But the more I think about it, the more 00:07:28.529 --> 00:07:31.529 I realize that's not a universal value. And no, 00:07:31.589 --> 00:07:33.769 there was even like one time that I think I spent 00:07:33.769 --> 00:07:36.189 my last $2 in my bank account to buy you a Red 00:07:36.189 --> 00:07:38.850 Bull because you asked for one. I was like, well, 00:07:38.889 --> 00:07:40.230 of course I'm going to do that. Like, why would 00:07:40.230 --> 00:07:43.870 I not? Yeah, definitely. We live in a very selfish 00:07:43.870 --> 00:07:47.449 culture. It's really easy to justify. We can't 00:07:47.449 --> 00:07:49.449 afford to help people because of X, Y, and Z. 00:07:49.689 --> 00:07:51.550 And obviously there comes a point where it is 00:07:51.550 --> 00:07:53.889 unwise. You probably shouldn't have spent your 00:07:53.889 --> 00:07:57.730 last $2 to buy me a Red Bull at that time. But 00:07:57.730 --> 00:08:00.240 yeah, so there are times when it's like... You 00:08:00.240 --> 00:08:02.660 can still be generous. It just maybe looks a 00:08:02.660 --> 00:08:04.740 little bit different, right? Where it's like, 00:08:04.839 --> 00:08:06.720 okay, maybe it's not spending money, but it's 00:08:06.720 --> 00:08:09.459 spending time. Or, you know, like actually this 00:08:09.459 --> 00:08:11.480 happened today. We were getting gas and you saw 00:08:11.480 --> 00:08:13.740 someone, we saw someone who was pushing their 00:08:13.740 --> 00:08:15.639 car into a gas station. And so you just like 00:08:15.639 --> 00:08:18.160 pulled the car over and helped them push. I mean, 00:08:18.180 --> 00:08:21.259 it was like 50 feet. It wasn't much. And it's 00:08:21.259 --> 00:08:22.939 not like it made us late to anything or anything 00:08:22.939 --> 00:08:25.480 like that. But that's also like a form of generosity. 00:08:25.860 --> 00:08:28.980 It was cold and windy and like a miserable day 00:08:28.980 --> 00:08:31.959 to do that. But that's another form of generosity 00:08:31.959 --> 00:08:34.519 that I think you were really good at showing 00:08:34.519 --> 00:08:38.480 to our kids. Like, yeah, we help people. That's 00:08:38.480 --> 00:08:41.259 what we do. It looks different from time to time. 00:08:41.360 --> 00:08:44.320 And again, what's a wise way to help people? 00:08:44.360 --> 00:08:46.539 What's not a wise way to help people? Like that. 00:08:46.659 --> 00:08:48.779 Maybe next time that happens, our kids will be 00:08:48.779 --> 00:08:51.740 in front facing car seats. They'll see dad push 00:08:51.740 --> 00:08:54.100 a car instead of just try and make it out through 00:08:54.100 --> 00:08:56.860 some mirrors. Yep. Yep. But I think generosity 00:08:56.860 --> 00:09:00.600 should. just be a given in our family even if 00:09:00.600 --> 00:09:03.759 it's not given back or even sometimes like when 00:09:03.759 --> 00:09:06.379 it's not totally necessary like yeah we had a 00:09:06.379 --> 00:09:08.620 friend who just got in a car accident like a 00:09:08.620 --> 00:09:11.419 month or two ago and so we just without thinking 00:09:11.419 --> 00:09:14.940 gave them a hundred dollar door dash and we thought 00:09:14.940 --> 00:09:16.740 she was like in the hospital and everything and 00:09:16.740 --> 00:09:18.519 then it turns out it's just like oh no she just 00:09:18.519 --> 00:09:21.120 needed a new car But we know that that helped 00:09:21.120 --> 00:09:23.320 them and that that took some stress off of their 00:09:23.320 --> 00:09:26.799 week. So even if it's not like the biggest, most 00:09:26.799 --> 00:09:29.480 necessary gesture, it was appreciated and it 00:09:29.480 --> 00:09:31.620 was helpful. Yeah. And I think actually going 00:09:31.620 --> 00:09:35.240 back to the first thing of Christ first, like 00:09:35.240 --> 00:09:38.440 that is such a good way to show that, right, 00:09:38.519 --> 00:09:41.679 is taking care of people. Like that's the number 00:09:41.679 --> 00:09:45.259 one command is love God and love people. So doing 00:09:45.259 --> 00:09:47.919 things like sending a gift card or pushing someone's 00:09:47.919 --> 00:09:51.850 car. as minimal as they may seem or unimportant 00:09:51.850 --> 00:09:55.029 as they may seem that shows that we love people 00:09:55.029 --> 00:09:59.330 in reality yeah next i have never assume or act 00:09:59.330 --> 00:10:02.509 like you're better than someone else and i think 00:10:02.509 --> 00:10:05.610 that that's a uniquely like a dad can instill 00:10:05.610 --> 00:10:08.870 that better than a mom could because you come 00:10:08.870 --> 00:10:10.629 from the point of authority in the house you 00:10:10.629 --> 00:10:13.610 come from like the person who supposedly has 00:10:13.610 --> 00:10:16.950 the whole ship running smoothly just knowing 00:10:16.950 --> 00:10:20.509 that other people have complete other lives that 00:10:20.509 --> 00:10:22.309 you know nothing about they they are guiding 00:10:22.309 --> 00:10:24.809 their own ships through the night and you can't 00:10:24.809 --> 00:10:29.129 judge how they're running things or you can't 00:10:29.129 --> 00:10:31.809 judge them from the outside on what's happening 00:10:31.809 --> 00:10:35.850 on the inside and really it's just better to 00:10:35.850 --> 00:10:38.789 come from a place of humility when you're approaching 00:10:38.789 --> 00:10:43.850 people is just assume that you can better your 00:10:43.850 --> 00:10:46.450 life through their experience and through their 00:10:46.450 --> 00:10:49.889 past experience. Like one example is we have 00:10:49.889 --> 00:10:52.889 someone at church who is just on the video team, 00:10:52.950 --> 00:10:56.330 like he runs mobile cam. And it took like a year 00:10:56.330 --> 00:10:59.389 for me to find out. His job is buying and selling 00:10:59.389 --> 00:11:02.289 businesses. And whenever he sells a business, 00:11:02.509 --> 00:11:05.190 he and his partner celebrate by buying luxury 00:11:05.190 --> 00:11:09.029 cars. So he's got like a Lamborghini, some Porsche. 00:11:09.210 --> 00:11:13.049 He's just rolling in it. But he just runs mobile 00:11:13.049 --> 00:11:15.789 cam. On stage and he's the nicest guy. Yeah, 00:11:15.889 --> 00:11:18.289 you would never assume that he is an extremely 00:11:18.289 --> 00:11:20.470 wealthy man Lives in a wonderful neighborhood 00:11:20.470 --> 00:11:23.210 like a mile away from us. That doesn't mean we 00:11:23.210 --> 00:11:25.110 live in a wonderful neighborhood He loves our 00:11:25.110 --> 00:11:27.590 kids loves holding our kids But I think that 00:11:27.590 --> 00:11:29.909 it's better that we didn't know anything like 00:11:29.909 --> 00:11:32.649 that about him when when we first met him I mean 00:11:32.649 --> 00:11:35.470 you met him before I did. Yeah for a while. Yeah, 00:11:35.549 --> 00:11:38.590 I had no idea I knew because I knew him from 00:11:38.590 --> 00:11:41.450 a youth group and I knew he like gave jobs or 00:11:41.450 --> 00:11:44.000 like helped some like high schoolers out getting 00:11:44.000 --> 00:11:46.360 jobs and stuff like that but that could be anyone 00:11:46.360 --> 00:11:48.759 right you know it's like oh you might just like 00:11:48.759 --> 00:11:52.519 have a connection with whatever so yeah i didn't 00:11:52.519 --> 00:11:54.899 know until you told me that like that's his yeah 00:11:54.899 --> 00:11:56.799 one of my friends like hung out with him and 00:11:56.799 --> 00:11:58.299 he's like oh sorry i couldn't bring the lambo 00:11:58.299 --> 00:12:01.019 out today so we got a ride in the porsche it's 00:12:01.019 --> 00:12:06.100 fine next i have fixing your own car and your 00:12:06.100 --> 00:12:09.919 own stuff is about more than saving money And 00:12:09.919 --> 00:12:12.940 I think some of this is just learning the value 00:12:12.940 --> 00:12:15.940 of a dollar or the value of your own possessions 00:12:15.940 --> 00:12:19.940 or what it's worth to have nice things. Because 00:12:19.940 --> 00:12:23.519 my dad, he didn't make us like do big fixes on 00:12:23.519 --> 00:12:26.460 the car, but he would say like, okay, next weekend, 00:12:26.580 --> 00:12:28.899 the car needs an oil change. It's not leaving 00:12:28.899 --> 00:12:31.539 the house until it gets an oil change. And I'm 00:12:31.539 --> 00:12:33.080 pretty sure your parents said like, you have 00:12:33.080 --> 00:12:35.080 to learn how to change a tire, right? Yeah, I 00:12:35.080 --> 00:12:37.100 had to know how to change a tire and drive a 00:12:37.100 --> 00:12:40.259 manual transmission. I was told to move out of 00:12:40.259 --> 00:12:41.659 the house if I wanted to move out of the house. 00:12:41.659 --> 00:12:44.000 I only got like 16, though. My parents grew up 00:12:44.000 --> 00:12:46.139 in the inner city, so they did not like driving 00:12:46.139 --> 00:12:49.259 stick. Yeah. Yeah. But they also did not like 00:12:49.259 --> 00:12:53.100 paying for oil changes. So on all the cars we've 00:12:53.100 --> 00:12:55.919 had, I've done like big fixes. I've done some 00:12:55.919 --> 00:12:58.809 big fixes. I've done... All the minor stuff. 00:12:59.169 --> 00:13:02.509 I will not mess with belts, so I won't do alternators. 00:13:02.950 --> 00:13:04.830 Yes, there is a few things we've learned. Like, 00:13:04.970 --> 00:13:08.009 oh, this is not a home fix. We'll pay for that 00:13:08.009 --> 00:13:11.110 one. But like even on your dying Xterra, it was 00:13:11.110 --> 00:13:12.909 like, oh, the leaf suspension. I can figure that 00:13:12.909 --> 00:13:14.909 out in a weekend. And then my brother and I, 00:13:14.909 --> 00:13:17.009 yeah, we had so much fun just getting under the 00:13:17.009 --> 00:13:19.570 car and risking our own lives changing the leaf 00:13:19.570 --> 00:13:21.470 suspension on an Xterra. And now I know how. 00:13:21.730 --> 00:13:24.509 Yeah. So next time. That was not the thing that 00:13:24.509 --> 00:13:26.789 killed the Xterra. No. It was something that 00:13:26.789 --> 00:13:28.659 I... Don't think you could have fixed or prevented 00:13:28.659 --> 00:13:31.460 anyways. No, it was a bent rod. No, just total. 00:13:31.659 --> 00:13:35.179 Yeah, I mean, I did not grow up. My dad is not 00:13:35.179 --> 00:13:37.679 really a car guy. So, you know, he didn't fix 00:13:37.679 --> 00:13:40.039 our cars or anything like that. But there is 00:13:40.039 --> 00:13:43.320 so much value in, and it's not even car specific, 00:13:43.500 --> 00:13:45.919 right? Just like knowing how to take care of 00:13:45.919 --> 00:13:48.899 your own things, even if you can and do pay for 00:13:48.899 --> 00:13:51.279 someone else to do it sometimes. Like you said, 00:13:51.299 --> 00:13:55.559 the value of your things and your own work. And 00:13:55.559 --> 00:13:58.129 also, I think being able to. Just knowing that 00:13:58.129 --> 00:14:02.649 you are able to do that is huge. And really just 00:14:02.649 --> 00:14:06.789 a willingness to learn. Yeah. Like even our KitchenAid, 00:14:06.850 --> 00:14:09.629 it's still not usable yet, but we're not giving 00:14:09.629 --> 00:14:12.350 up on it. We're not buying a new one. It's got 00:14:12.350 --> 00:14:15.169 to be something simple. It is. It does technically 00:14:15.169 --> 00:14:17.549 work. The motor works. Yes. Everything works. 00:14:17.649 --> 00:14:21.090 It just doesn't lock. Yes. But fixing your stuff, 00:14:21.330 --> 00:14:23.730 keeping your things nice, being able to work 00:14:23.730 --> 00:14:26.879 on your stuff and not just discarding it. and 00:14:26.879 --> 00:14:30.379 not relying on planned obsolescence. Yeah, and 00:14:30.379 --> 00:14:32.500 I think what you were saying about being willing 00:14:32.500 --> 00:14:34.799 to learn, going back to my dad, one of the things 00:14:34.799 --> 00:14:37.340 that you and I have joked about is there's an 00:14:37.340 --> 00:14:39.960 ongoing joke about the Simpson cult of just like 00:14:39.960 --> 00:14:43.039 our family. all of our extended family so parents 00:14:43.039 --> 00:14:44.919 and aunts and uncles and everything buying some 00:14:44.919 --> 00:14:46.980 land and we all just like live off the grid together 00:14:46.980 --> 00:14:50.039 on this land and we were talking about our family 00:14:50.039 --> 00:14:52.879 specifically like with our parents and siblings 00:14:52.879 --> 00:14:55.539 we're like actually our family's fairly well 00:14:55.539 --> 00:14:58.860 set up for this situation in when it comes to 00:14:58.860 --> 00:15:03.179 skill sets and I joked that my dad is probably 00:15:03.769 --> 00:15:06.330 the most useless because of his skill set, but 00:15:06.330 --> 00:15:09.389 he is willing to learn. Like if we were in a 00:15:09.389 --> 00:15:11.669 situation where we're like, we all need to get 00:15:11.669 --> 00:15:14.070 off the grid, the skills that he already has, 00:15:14.169 --> 00:15:16.370 like we don't need a software engineer for getting 00:15:16.370 --> 00:15:19.629 off the grid, but he would be so willing to learn 00:15:19.629 --> 00:15:22.769 to build a house and garden and engineering and 00:15:22.769 --> 00:15:25.169 whatever we needed. He'll be our tractor repair 00:15:25.169 --> 00:15:27.570 man. Exactly. He would figure it out because 00:15:27.570 --> 00:15:30.500 yeah, that's, I think something that. I was taught 00:15:30.500 --> 00:15:32.720 by life is you always want to learn something 00:15:32.720 --> 00:15:35.740 new. And be willing to and open to it. Yeah. 00:15:35.820 --> 00:15:39.519 Also with cars is I have drive stick and drive 00:15:39.519 --> 00:15:43.080 well. Yes. And my parents, like I said, completely 00:15:43.080 --> 00:15:46.620 against stick. I think the last manual car that 00:15:46.620 --> 00:15:48.879 they had, they gave to a homeless man when I 00:15:48.879 --> 00:15:52.200 was eight or nine. Until Nick bought his Porsche. 00:15:52.360 --> 00:15:55.820 Until my dad bought a Porsche. But I don't remember 00:15:55.820 --> 00:15:57.899 them ever driving stick. They swear that our 00:15:57.899 --> 00:16:00.620 two family cars. When we were really, really 00:16:00.620 --> 00:16:03.200 young, we're both manual, the station wagon and 00:16:03.200 --> 00:16:05.980 the Nissan. But I do not recall either of those 00:16:05.980 --> 00:16:08.360 at all having a gear shift in the middle. But 00:16:08.360 --> 00:16:10.740 my brother got a stick when I was in high school 00:16:10.740 --> 00:16:12.440 and I was like, well, that's cool. And then it 00:16:12.440 --> 00:16:14.519 also just opens up a whole new world of cars 00:16:14.519 --> 00:16:18.120 you can get like a Porsche or other luxury cars 00:16:18.120 --> 00:16:20.519 or old cars. I mean, the thing that I say now 00:16:20.519 --> 00:16:23.500 is I'm the only daughter -in -law who's gotten 00:16:23.500 --> 00:16:25.299 to drive the Porsche. That's because I'm the 00:16:25.299 --> 00:16:26.659 only daughter -in -law who knows how to drive 00:16:26.659 --> 00:16:29.559 a stick. Yeah. other reasons too because i'm 00:16:29.559 --> 00:16:31.299 the only daughter -in -law who knows how to drive 00:16:31.299 --> 00:16:35.000 a stick so you know it opens up possibilities 00:16:35.000 --> 00:16:37.440 the batmobile we know is a manual transmission 00:16:37.440 --> 00:16:40.559 if batman ever offers that how much of a bummer 00:16:40.559 --> 00:16:45.480 would it be like sorry can't take the batmobile 00:16:45.480 --> 00:16:48.240 for a spin because no or i know someone who straight 00:16:48.240 --> 00:16:50.879 up does not want to drive stick like i've offered 00:16:50.879 --> 00:16:53.879 to teach him and he's like no i i never do and 00:16:53.879 --> 00:16:57.720 he i he's a cop yeah like how how many cops have 00:16:57.720 --> 00:17:00.399 the fantasy of like, police, I need to commandeer 00:17:00.399 --> 00:17:02.899 this vehicle. I don't know if that actually happens 00:17:02.899 --> 00:17:05.220 in real life. No, but it happens in movies and 00:17:05.220 --> 00:17:07.420 shows. And what if you're in that situation, 00:17:07.579 --> 00:17:10.240 then you get into the Ferrari that you just commandeered 00:17:10.240 --> 00:17:12.700 and you're like, ah, well. Very realistic situation 00:17:12.700 --> 00:17:18.400 in this person's scenario. I'll get him. But 00:17:18.400 --> 00:17:21.559 he deserves that experience. And to drive well, 00:17:21.720 --> 00:17:25.640 I feel like you're a good driver. I mean, you 00:17:25.640 --> 00:17:27.579 don't drive me around very often. Usually when 00:17:27.579 --> 00:17:29.599 I do, you've had a couple drinks, and then you're 00:17:29.599 --> 00:17:33.140 always very complimentary. Am I? Always. That's 00:17:33.140 --> 00:17:34.839 great. It's not that I don't remember. It's just 00:17:34.839 --> 00:17:37.640 that I don't realize that. But I learned how 00:17:37.640 --> 00:17:39.700 to drive. I don't know how I did this, but I 00:17:39.700 --> 00:17:43.480 learned how to drive at 17 in a rear -wheel drive 00:17:43.480 --> 00:17:47.579 minivan in the Colorado winter. And somehow I 00:17:47.579 --> 00:17:50.000 survived, never got in an accident. It almost 00:17:50.000 --> 00:17:52.960 blew over on Marshall Road a couple times. But 00:17:52.960 --> 00:17:56.299 never flipped it, never spun out, never rear 00:17:56.299 --> 00:17:59.079 -ended anyone. That's impressive. Yeah. So maybe 00:17:59.079 --> 00:18:00.940 that's the key to our kids is just get them a 00:18:00.940 --> 00:18:04.380 94 Ford Aerostar. Go have fun. Just come back 00:18:04.380 --> 00:18:08.359 in one piece. The car, one or two. It's fine. 00:18:08.740 --> 00:18:12.200 Next I have, I want our kids to know how to play 00:18:12.200 --> 00:18:16.019 and record music. And, I mean, obviously they 00:18:16.019 --> 00:18:20.160 both love music so much. And I feel that growing 00:18:20.160 --> 00:18:23.789 up with the equipment, that i have and the experiences 00:18:23.789 --> 00:18:26.230 that we've put them in like at church seeing 00:18:26.230 --> 00:18:28.690 all the instruments up close seeing everybody 00:18:28.690 --> 00:18:31.009 play music i think they're both going to take 00:18:31.009 --> 00:18:33.369 a real interest in it and yeah i mean they already 00:18:33.369 --> 00:18:36.490 do lloyd knows the difference between an electric 00:18:36.490 --> 00:18:39.809 guitar and a bass guitar yeah it's like i don't 00:18:39.809 --> 00:18:41.829 think either of us taught him that he just knows 00:18:41.829 --> 00:18:45.769 last week on our way to church he was not behaving 00:18:45.769 --> 00:18:48.670 well he was not listening to me he was Getting 00:18:48.670 --> 00:18:50.970 out the door was a bear. And his punishment was 00:18:50.970 --> 00:18:52.529 that he wasn't allowed to play drums at church. 00:18:52.730 --> 00:18:56.210 And that was a rough punishment. He was so sad. 00:18:56.369 --> 00:18:58.730 And I like, it's one of those times where I feel 00:18:58.730 --> 00:19:00.890 kind of bad, but also you needed to listen to 00:19:00.890 --> 00:19:03.069 me and you didn't. And we didn't have time for 00:19:03.069 --> 00:19:06.089 a timeout, so no drums at church. And then Zeta, 00:19:06.190 --> 00:19:10.190 she already has more rhythm than I ever will. 00:19:12.990 --> 00:19:15.250 13 months do you have her sitting on the drum 00:19:15.250 --> 00:19:18.750 set and she does really well yep she's using 00:19:18.750 --> 00:19:20.410 one hand on the hi -hat one hand on the snare 00:19:20.410 --> 00:19:23.269 it's crazy yeah neither of them can reach or 00:19:23.269 --> 00:19:25.670 push down the kick pedal yet not yet Lloyd's 00:19:25.670 --> 00:19:27.910 getting there and then we got Zeta like a little 00:19:27.910 --> 00:19:31.789 electric keyboard for her birthday and both of 00:19:31.789 --> 00:19:34.450 the kids love it and are just like learning things 00:19:34.450 --> 00:19:37.470 because they'll just sit there and noodle on 00:19:37.470 --> 00:19:39.329 the piano yeah so now they know that the left 00:19:39.329 --> 00:19:41.769 side is low and the right side is high yeah figuring 00:19:41.769 --> 00:19:44.299 that out Yeah, so they both already love music 00:19:44.299 --> 00:19:47.559 so much, and Lloyd is always asking for different 00:19:47.559 --> 00:19:50.680 songs to play. Good songs. Good songs, yep. No 00:19:50.680 --> 00:19:52.640 wheels on the bus. No, we do not allow that in 00:19:52.640 --> 00:19:55.539 our house. No, he's never heard Baby Shark. No, 00:19:55.559 --> 00:19:57.859 then yeah, like today in the car, he requested 00:19:57.859 --> 00:20:00.799 a song, and then Zeta was just like bopping to 00:20:00.799 --> 00:20:02.920 it. She was so excited. She was singing along 00:20:02.920 --> 00:20:07.099 and clapping, and yeah, it's so fun. Yep, thanks 00:20:07.099 --> 00:20:10.930 Dan Auerbach for the Cars 3 soundtrack. Run that 00:20:10.930 --> 00:20:13.829 race. And then recording music for kids. I think 00:20:13.829 --> 00:20:17.670 it's so cool to not just learn something, but 00:20:17.670 --> 00:20:20.789 to see it, like see the fruits of it. And if 00:20:20.789 --> 00:20:23.769 you record a song, no matter what it is, if you 00:20:23.769 --> 00:20:26.150 can hear it back, you're like, oh, wow. I did 00:20:26.150 --> 00:20:28.950 that. I made that. And it came out and I can 00:20:28.950 --> 00:20:31.589 show other people. And I think that'll give them 00:20:31.589 --> 00:20:34.289 an extra enthusiasm for playing music and learning 00:20:34.289 --> 00:20:37.950 how to do it well. Also, they're just going to 00:20:37.950 --> 00:20:40.390 be so much better than me, even without being 00:20:40.390 --> 00:20:43.910 music majors or audio engineer majors. They're 00:20:43.910 --> 00:20:46.049 just going to have it kind of inherent. Whenever 00:20:46.049 --> 00:20:48.309 they learn like what a computer is and what it 00:20:48.309 --> 00:20:49.930 really does and how it works, they're going to 00:20:49.930 --> 00:20:53.190 know how to press record on a logic session and 00:20:53.190 --> 00:20:55.910 yell into a microphone or plug in a keyboard. 00:20:56.210 --> 00:20:59.500 Yeah. And I mean, even just like. They both already 00:20:59.500 --> 00:21:02.700 know how to open the cameras on our phones. Lloyd 00:21:02.700 --> 00:21:05.180 knows how to swipe through pictures on our phones. 00:21:05.500 --> 00:21:08.160 So they're just learning these skills so young 00:21:08.160 --> 00:21:10.940 that you never thought you'd be the parent that's 00:21:10.940 --> 00:21:13.900 like, technology. But that's for sure going to 00:21:13.900 --> 00:21:15.180 be us. They're just going to be like, oh my god, 00:21:15.200 --> 00:21:18.559 mom. This is how you do this. And yeah, I think 00:21:18.559 --> 00:21:22.200 they'll learn recording so quickly. And they'll 00:21:22.200 --> 00:21:24.059 get so good at it. Yeah, inherently. Hopefully, 00:21:24.079 --> 00:21:25.880 like my dream is for them to have friends over 00:21:25.880 --> 00:21:27.500 and be like, oh, let's go downstairs and record 00:21:27.500 --> 00:21:30.119 a song. You play drums, you play guitar, you 00:21:30.119 --> 00:21:31.980 play bass guitar. That's different because it 00:21:31.980 --> 00:21:34.480 has four strings. It'll be so great. And the 00:21:34.480 --> 00:21:37.029 thing is with... All of the people we know who 00:21:37.029 --> 00:21:39.269 have kids, they're all already going to know 00:21:39.269 --> 00:21:41.950 these instruments. Like we have different bands 00:21:41.950 --> 00:21:45.250 that our kids can be a part of. And then they 00:21:45.250 --> 00:21:48.009 can all switch instruments and just keep it fresh. 00:21:48.190 --> 00:21:50.430 Yeah. Change your name a little bit. Yeah. Skinnered 00:21:50.430 --> 00:21:53.450 Leonard. Exactly. The last one that I have is 00:21:53.450 --> 00:21:55.670 not just a dad thing, but I think it's uniquely 00:21:55.670 --> 00:21:58.210 me is you're never too cool to have fun and be 00:21:58.210 --> 00:22:02.190 goofy. And I've heard that I'm a goofy person. 00:22:02.509 --> 00:22:05.980 I've been told directly. And I don't think you 00:22:05.980 --> 00:22:07.519 would say that. I think you would say I'm strictly 00:22:07.519 --> 00:22:10.180 professional, just straight up business. Like 00:22:10.180 --> 00:22:12.619 never have fun. I never have to be like, stop. 00:22:12.839 --> 00:22:15.740 Yeah, like picture of fuddy -duddy is me. For 00:22:15.740 --> 00:22:18.400 sure. In the dictionary. That sentence made no 00:22:18.400 --> 00:22:22.460 sense. But I've seen so many people who just 00:22:22.460 --> 00:22:25.880 like lose their sense of wonder and lose all 00:22:25.880 --> 00:22:29.140 joy that you can have in life in little things 00:22:29.140 --> 00:22:33.019 like throwing rocks in a pond or jumping off 00:22:33.019 --> 00:22:36.619 of the slide way too high. Or having fun on the 00:22:36.619 --> 00:22:38.700 swings. Like, obviously, these aren't things 00:22:38.700 --> 00:22:41.079 that an adult should do by themselves. You shouldn't 00:22:41.079 --> 00:22:43.500 go to the playground and go on the swings. But 00:22:43.500 --> 00:22:45.599 if you're going to swing with your kids. But 00:22:45.599 --> 00:22:47.339 maybe that's the problem. Yeah, that might be 00:22:47.339 --> 00:22:49.079 the issue. But if you're going to go on the swings 00:22:49.079 --> 00:22:51.440 with your kids, you should have fun with it. 00:22:51.460 --> 00:22:55.000 You shouldn't just be a robot and a total professional 00:22:55.000 --> 00:22:58.299 adult. You should be able to smile and laugh 00:22:58.299 --> 00:23:01.119 and make your kids laugh. and make memories for 00:23:01.119 --> 00:23:02.980 them and get them excited about stuff like that. 00:23:03.059 --> 00:23:05.400 I think one thing we've done well is since we 00:23:05.400 --> 00:23:08.319 do so little screen time, they're still really 00:23:08.319 --> 00:23:12.240 young, obviously, but it just kind of makes childhood 00:23:12.240 --> 00:23:15.859 magical again. I think so many people our age 00:23:15.859 --> 00:23:18.140 are like, how do we make the 90s happen again? 00:23:18.740 --> 00:23:20.500 Which is hard because there are certain things 00:23:20.500 --> 00:23:23.119 like... I would never just let my kids like run 00:23:23.119 --> 00:23:26.500 rampant outside. But part of it is the neighborhoods 00:23:26.500 --> 00:23:28.759 we live in and stuff like that. Yeah, I just 00:23:28.759 --> 00:23:31.099 think with like we just get instant gratification 00:23:31.099 --> 00:23:32.759 and technology and we're always being entertained 00:23:32.759 --> 00:23:35.299 and all of that all the time. It does take away 00:23:35.299 --> 00:23:37.700 the joys and like just swinging on the swings 00:23:37.700 --> 00:23:41.259 with your kids. And I think that's just been 00:23:41.259 --> 00:23:44.420 like an unexpected side effect of making the 00:23:44.420 --> 00:23:47.059 decision to have like we have kind of limited 00:23:47.059 --> 00:23:51.170 toys. limited screen time and stuff like that 00:23:51.170 --> 00:23:55.410 is we get to just like have fun with, you know, 00:23:55.430 --> 00:23:57.569 well, he just wants to run outside and we're 00:23:57.569 --> 00:24:00.849 like, great. Just run. Go on a little walk, run 00:24:00.849 --> 00:24:02.950 in the grass. Yeah. Like absolutely. See the 00:24:02.950 --> 00:24:05.269 cats. Yeah. That's what he wants to do. The best 00:24:05.269 --> 00:24:07.509 walk to the mailbox. Yeah. And he just wants 00:24:07.509 --> 00:24:10.029 to run and sometimes take a car and put it in 00:24:10.029 --> 00:24:12.930 the dirt. And there's just so much joy in that. 00:24:13.630 --> 00:24:16.670 Well, you also wanted me to say if there's anything 00:24:16.670 --> 00:24:19.470 that. you didn't add on your list that I had. 00:24:19.890 --> 00:24:23.029 So the first one that I had was kind of just 00:24:23.029 --> 00:24:26.869 like practical. Is there skills that you have 00:24:26.869 --> 00:24:30.130 that I do not, or I would have to learn better 00:24:30.130 --> 00:24:35.369 to teach our kids like fixing cars. I could potentially 00:24:35.369 --> 00:24:36.890 teach them those things, but I would have to 00:24:36.890 --> 00:24:39.269 learn it all first. Stuff like building things 00:24:39.269 --> 00:24:41.410 and using power tools. Again, like I know the 00:24:41.410 --> 00:24:44.009 basics of how to build things. You have been 00:24:44.009 --> 00:24:46.009 doing that professionally for four years now. 00:24:47.119 --> 00:24:49.900 So I think they're just like, those are the two 00:24:49.900 --> 00:24:51.940 main ones that come to mind. And I'm sure again, 00:24:52.059 --> 00:24:55.180 music is another one, just like practical skills 00:24:55.180 --> 00:24:59.039 that I want our kids to have, whether they use 00:24:59.039 --> 00:25:01.660 them long -term or not. Like one of the things 00:25:01.660 --> 00:25:05.380 we've kind of joked about with music is it's 00:25:05.380 --> 00:25:07.240 way more impressive to have someone who's like 00:25:07.240 --> 00:25:10.990 an accountant. who then whips out a guitar or 00:25:10.990 --> 00:25:13.710 a piano and is just amazing at it than it is 00:25:13.710 --> 00:25:15.829 to have someone be a professional musician at 00:25:15.829 --> 00:25:18.410 a party just playing their instrument. Yeah, 00:25:18.430 --> 00:25:21.250 even if our kids are doctors or lawyers, they're 00:25:21.250 --> 00:25:23.869 going to be competent at an instrument. Yeah, 00:25:23.950 --> 00:25:27.049 just for fun. So yeah, I think that was the first 00:25:27.049 --> 00:25:29.450 one I came up with was just practical skills 00:25:29.450 --> 00:25:31.990 that I don't have that you do and you can teach 00:25:31.990 --> 00:25:35.549 them. And then the other two are like... Different 00:25:35.549 --> 00:25:38.589 sides of the same coin and very like overarching 00:25:38.589 --> 00:25:41.750 and maybe a lot of pressure. But that's also 00:25:41.750 --> 00:25:45.049 your job as a dad. It's just like showing each 00:25:45.049 --> 00:25:49.369 of our kids like what a man is for who they are. 00:25:49.470 --> 00:25:52.700 It's like we have a boy and we have a girl. and 00:25:52.700 --> 00:25:54.779 I remember when I was pregnant with Lloyd, of 00:25:54.779 --> 00:25:56.220 course we didn't know if we were having a boy 00:25:56.220 --> 00:25:57.980 or a girl, and someone was, like, asking me about 00:25:57.980 --> 00:26:00.839 it. And I remember saying something about, well, 00:26:00.880 --> 00:26:02.599 if I have a boy, I want to make sure he's a man. 00:26:03.160 --> 00:26:05.819 And with who I was with, I don't know if they, 00:26:05.859 --> 00:26:07.859 like, quite took it the way I meant it. I'm like, 00:26:07.980 --> 00:26:11.640 I don't care if he's, like, big and buff. Obviously, 00:26:11.640 --> 00:26:14.779 I want him to be healthy and strong. But more 00:26:14.779 --> 00:26:16.680 importantly, it's like, how do you use the strength 00:26:16.680 --> 00:26:19.559 that you do have? Whether that's power in a situation, 00:26:19.960 --> 00:26:23.259 physical strength, obviously, taking care of 00:26:23.259 --> 00:26:25.519 people when you can. What does that look like? 00:26:25.660 --> 00:26:27.539 And that's something that I could be the best 00:26:27.539 --> 00:26:29.799 mom in the world, but I can't show him how to 00:26:29.799 --> 00:26:32.839 behave as a good man. And of course, Lloyd also 00:26:32.839 --> 00:26:34.759 has other good men in his life, but he's going 00:26:34.759 --> 00:26:36.700 to look to you first before he's going to look 00:26:36.700 --> 00:26:39.299 to grandpas or friends or uncles or anything 00:26:39.299 --> 00:26:42.440 like that. What does a good man look like? What 00:26:42.440 --> 00:26:45.339 does using your strength appropriately look like? 00:26:45.380 --> 00:26:48.519 Again, physical strength or strength of character 00:26:48.519 --> 00:26:52.759 and situation. Are you in a situation where someone's 00:26:52.759 --> 00:26:54.759 like kind of being a jerk and you call them out 00:26:54.759 --> 00:26:57.819 on it? That kind of thing. And then for Zeta, 00:26:57.940 --> 00:27:00.240 of course, it's the same thing, but on the flip 00:27:00.240 --> 00:27:03.440 side, right? Where it's like, okay, what do you 00:27:03.440 --> 00:27:06.000 look for in a good man? You know, how do you 00:27:06.000 --> 00:27:09.859 want to be treated? both hope that if she gets 00:27:09.859 --> 00:27:11.980 married, she has really high standards and doesn't 00:27:11.980 --> 00:27:15.059 end up with a deadbeat. And that starts with 00:27:15.059 --> 00:27:17.599 how she sees how you treat her, how you treat 00:27:17.599 --> 00:27:20.140 me, how you treat the other women in our life. 00:27:20.559 --> 00:27:22.599 Yeah, I mean, we have a couple friends who have 00:27:22.599 --> 00:27:24.920 daughters who are a little bit older, like three 00:27:24.920 --> 00:27:27.000 and four, and they're starting to do like daddy 00:27:27.000 --> 00:27:30.339 -daughter dances. And I don't know if we'll have, 00:27:30.460 --> 00:27:32.480 I'm sure we can find one somewhere at like rec 00:27:32.480 --> 00:27:34.240 center or something if our kids don't go to school, 00:27:34.339 --> 00:27:37.109 but it's really sweet to see like. the daughters 00:27:37.109 --> 00:27:39.069 get really excited and like want to get dressed 00:27:39.069 --> 00:27:41.029 up and go out with dad and like get flowers from 00:27:41.029 --> 00:27:43.170 dad and stuff like that. So I am excited for 00:27:43.170 --> 00:27:46.109 that kind of stuff. And just her to see like, 00:27:46.190 --> 00:27:50.690 this is how you deserve to be treated. And don't 00:27:50.690 --> 00:27:54.069 settle for, not that like you're going to do 00:27:54.069 --> 00:27:56.910 it perfectly, not to settle for someone who's 00:27:56.910 --> 00:27:59.069 not going to treat you really well. So that was 00:27:59.069 --> 00:28:02.309 one that I. thought about didn't write down was 00:28:02.309 --> 00:28:05.529 strength comes from bridled power and knowing 00:28:05.529 --> 00:28:07.609 that you could beat someone up but you know when 00:28:07.609 --> 00:28:10.049 to like i feel like it's appropriate to say our 00:28:10.049 --> 00:28:12.150 kids should probably have swung a punch and had 00:28:12.150 --> 00:28:13.710 a punch swung at them by the time they're eight 00:28:13.710 --> 00:28:16.289 or nine because it's just something that happens 00:28:16.289 --> 00:28:18.670 i mean lloyd has a big cousin so it's probably 00:28:18.670 --> 00:28:22.069 gonna happen yeah absolutely but just to to not 00:28:22.069 --> 00:28:24.589 be afraid of plus there's a story there yeah 00:28:25.069 --> 00:28:27.710 What a story. And a good one. But sometimes it's 00:28:27.710 --> 00:28:29.990 appropriate to show your strength, like, if anyone's 00:28:29.990 --> 00:28:31.970 harming someone that you care about or one of 00:28:31.970 --> 00:28:34.750 your siblings. That is one thing we've explicitly 00:28:34.750 --> 00:28:37.910 told Lloyd, because right now, like, he doesn't 00:28:37.910 --> 00:28:41.650 really pick on Zeta too much, but every once 00:28:41.650 --> 00:28:43.230 in a while he'll, like, push her around or something. 00:28:43.650 --> 00:28:46.450 And so, like, Lloyd, you do not hurt Zeta. You 00:28:46.450 --> 00:28:49.210 don't hit people. Unless they're hurting Zeta. 00:28:49.589 --> 00:28:51.089 You're allowed to hit someone. Then you can hit 00:28:51.089 --> 00:28:53.410 them a lot. Yeah, if they're hurting your sister, 00:28:53.490 --> 00:28:56.329 you're allowed to hit them. Well, thank you for 00:28:56.329 --> 00:28:59.829 hopping in for Laura and sharing your perspective 00:28:59.829 --> 00:29:02.569 on what you want to teach our kids. Yeah, this 00:29:02.569 --> 00:29:05.069 is a bit of an abridged. So maybe if I come up 00:29:05.069 --> 00:29:06.470 with some others and we need another episode, 00:29:06.549 --> 00:29:08.970 we can do it again. Yeah. Just behind the scenes 00:29:08.970 --> 00:29:10.869 for us, we were planning on recording two nights 00:29:10.869 --> 00:29:13.089 ago, and then our whole house was sick and we 00:29:13.089 --> 00:29:14.569 were dying, so we were like, okay, we're not 00:29:14.569 --> 00:29:17.250 going to do this tonight. Then we were going 00:29:17.250 --> 00:29:20.410 to record again last night, and it was just not 00:29:20.410 --> 00:29:22.009 a good day, and we weren't really happy with 00:29:22.009 --> 00:29:24.950 each other. So we were like, we don't want to 00:29:24.950 --> 00:29:26.789 fake it that much. But look at us now, less than 00:29:26.789 --> 00:29:30.930 24 hours later. Yeah. Both of us are alive. We 00:29:30.930 --> 00:29:32.809 haven't killed each other. No, and our kids are 00:29:32.809 --> 00:29:34.490 probably alive. We haven't checked the monitors 00:29:34.490 --> 00:29:38.549 in an hour. Yeah. I'm sure they're fine. Well, 00:29:38.690 --> 00:29:42.190 do you have a win you want to share? Yeah. Mine 00:29:42.190 --> 00:29:45.089 is just that it has really come in clutch this 00:29:45.089 --> 00:29:48.509 week that I am competent with the snot straw. 00:29:48.890 --> 00:29:53.759 Yes. Probably four nights this week it has really 00:29:53.759 --> 00:29:56.019 saved the night. Yeah. And gotten some people 00:29:56.019 --> 00:29:58.859 some sleep is that I'm not squeamish with the 00:29:58.859 --> 00:30:01.559 actual Frida straw. Not the mechanical one or 00:30:01.559 --> 00:30:03.660 the electric ones. Those don't work apparently. 00:30:03.859 --> 00:30:06.759 I did find out there's one that's like $100 that 00:30:06.759 --> 00:30:10.519 is actually worth it. But the normal one's $12. 00:30:10.960 --> 00:30:13.500 No, no, like an electric one. Yeah, I know. But 00:30:13.500 --> 00:30:18.500 then the normal just is $12. Yeah, and I can't 00:30:18.500 --> 00:30:22.069 do it. No. But really, you have been the bravest 00:30:22.069 --> 00:30:24.430 of all. You've let me do it while the kid's in 00:30:24.430 --> 00:30:26.490 your lap and you only gagged like twice tonight. 00:30:26.650 --> 00:30:29.369 I know. And that was both kids without cleaning 00:30:29.369 --> 00:30:32.009 in between. Yeah, that's better than them getting 00:30:32.009 --> 00:30:35.410 their brains sucked out. So middle of the night, 00:30:35.470 --> 00:30:37.970 like two nights, I've just gone in and given 00:30:37.970 --> 00:30:41.410 Zeta a good snot sucking and it saved it. Yeah. 00:30:41.890 --> 00:30:44.769 Yeah, I don't know what I would do if... If you 00:30:44.769 --> 00:30:46.789 couldn't do that. Well, you would just have to 00:30:46.789 --> 00:30:49.170 change the litter and do your own snot straws 00:30:49.170 --> 00:30:51.690 all by yourself. I guess so. And also clean up 00:30:51.690 --> 00:30:54.210 the vomit along the way. Oh, yeah. Your own? 00:30:54.309 --> 00:30:56.009 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because that's the biggest 00:30:56.009 --> 00:30:58.789 issue. What's your mom win of the week? Mine 00:30:58.789 --> 00:31:02.410 is this morning we were getting ready for church. 00:31:02.430 --> 00:31:05.450 You were already at church. And we were, like, 00:31:05.470 --> 00:31:07.910 about to go downstairs to the garage. And Lloyd 00:31:07.910 --> 00:31:11.230 had his car in his hand. And I said something 00:31:11.230 --> 00:31:13.789 about how Zeta didn't have a car. like a toy 00:31:13.789 --> 00:31:17.569 car to take in the car with us. And he stopped, 00:31:17.849 --> 00:31:21.849 ran, and got his Lightning McQueen and came back 00:31:21.849 --> 00:31:24.769 and handed it to Zeta to make sure that she had 00:31:24.769 --> 00:31:27.690 a car to take in the car with her and had a toy. 00:31:27.809 --> 00:31:31.349 And he loves his Lightning McQueen. So that's 00:31:31.349 --> 00:31:35.170 also like a very kind toy for him to share. He 00:31:35.170 --> 00:31:37.009 didn't just pick like the random one that he 00:31:37.009 --> 00:31:39.029 doesn't care about. That's like sharing your 00:31:39.029 --> 00:31:41.559 blankie. Pretty close. Yeah. I mean, I don't 00:31:41.559 --> 00:31:44.579 think he would ever share Eboba. No. But so it 00:31:44.579 --> 00:31:47.440 was just very sweet that not only did he share 00:31:47.440 --> 00:31:50.460 like a really important toy, but when he realized 00:31:50.460 --> 00:31:52.680 that she didn't have a toy to take in the car 00:31:52.680 --> 00:31:56.099 with her, he went out of his way to go and get 00:31:56.099 --> 00:31:58.339 something. His favorite. One of his favorites 00:31:58.339 --> 00:32:01.930 to share with her to make sure she had. a toy 00:32:01.930 --> 00:32:03.630 in the car, which, of course, she threw on the 00:32:03.630 --> 00:32:06.630 floor within 37 seconds of being in the car. 00:32:07.009 --> 00:32:09.329 Yeah, it doesn't matter. It's the gesture. It's 00:32:09.329 --> 00:32:11.490 the thought. Yeah, it was very sweet. And which 00:32:11.490 --> 00:32:14.289 car did he have? He had Ramon. Oh, it wasn't 00:32:14.289 --> 00:32:16.789 even Cruz. It wasn't Cruz this time because Ramon 00:32:16.789 --> 00:32:20.750 is new. And fancy. I was going to say he probably 00:32:20.750 --> 00:32:23.730 had Cruz, which is Zeta's car anyways. Well, 00:32:23.910 --> 00:32:28.140 he wanted to take Ramon and Cruz. typically have 00:32:28.140 --> 00:32:32.680 a one toy in the car policy so i told him he 00:32:32.680 --> 00:32:35.400 had to choose and it's so funny watching him 00:32:35.400 --> 00:32:38.440 now because he like for sure actually considers 00:32:38.440 --> 00:32:40.940 it like you see him with a car in each hand like 00:32:40.940 --> 00:32:43.980 looking back and forth which car do i want to 00:32:43.980 --> 00:32:46.279 take and then but he's really good about setting 00:32:46.279 --> 00:32:48.299 one down after you tell him we're just taking 00:32:48.299 --> 00:32:51.849 one it's a real sophie's choice it is yeah Ramona 00:32:51.849 --> 00:32:54.430 Cruz. Lightning Cruz. Well, thank you for listening 00:32:54.430 --> 00:32:57.309 to No Manual. Please rate, review, subscribe. 00:32:58.130 --> 00:33:01.210 Follow us on Instagram. And we will see you next 00:33:01.210 --> 00:33:03.849 week. See you next week. Well, that's enough 00:33:03.849 --> 00:33:06.450 oversharing for today. If you enjoyed hanging 00:33:06.450 --> 00:33:08.430 out with us, hit subscribe so you don't miss 00:33:08.430 --> 00:33:11.309 the next round of chaos. And if you're listening 00:33:11.309 --> 00:33:12.990 while hiding in the bathroom from your kids, 00:33:13.170 --> 00:33:15.710 no judgment. We see you. Thanks for joining us 00:33:15.710 --> 00:33:19.210 on No Manual Momcast, where motherhood is messy. 00:33:19.569 --> 00:33:39.650 At least we can laugh about it together. Chocolate 00:33:39.650 --> 00:33:41.910 chip cookie. That's so cute. Sorry.