motherhood where sleep is a rumor and laundry
is eternal and somehow we're supposed to be raising
tiny humans through it all we're here to laugh
at the chaos cry when necessary and remind you
that none of us actually know what we're doing
this is no manual a mom cast your mom friend
group chat but with microphones welcome back
to no manual mom cast Hi, everyone. Welcome back
to No Manual, a mom cast. We are super excited
to just chat about our spouses a little bit more
today. And before we hop into what we're really
talking about today, do we want to talk about
our mom moments of the week? Sure. I can go first.
Okay. So I think I've talked about it before,
but part of our bedtime routine is I nurse Zeta.
And then while I do that, Stuart and Lloyd have
dad snuggles, which really don't involve much
snuggling because Lloyd is usually like jumping
on the bed and trying to keep himself awake.
That's funny. As a two -year -old does. Yeah.
So I'll just like tell this whole experience
from my perspective. Okay, great. Which is...
I'm like in the kid's room, dark, nursing Zeta.
She's like pretty much asleep. And I hear something
fall from our bedroom. And I didn't hear tears
right away. So I was like, okay, I mean. You're
like, pause. Let me just listen. Because also
like, you know how it is when you hear something
fall. Like a phone and a kid can sound the same.
For sure. Right. So I'm like, okay, maybe it
was a kid. Maybe it was a cat jumping down from
a bed. I don't know. So I'm like, okay, get Zeta
down. And then as soon as I like open the nursery
door to walk to our room, just hear like. sobbing
something okay so it was lloyd so i go in there
and stewart's like it finally happened lloyd
fell off the bed and our bed like isn't short
oh really it's probably like two feet off the
floor okay so it's like a decent fall yeah and
it also has like a ledge on it So that on the
way down. So we're like, we know he hit that
at some point. We're like, buddy, like trying
to get him to calm down, finally get him to calm
down. Then we go to take him to bed and we see
his face for the first time because he had just
been like crying into Stewart's chest. And he's
just got a fat bloody lip. That's like gushing
blood. He's got blood all over his elephant that
he sleeps with every night. So we're like, well,
okay, we got to get this cleaned up and taken
care of. Like this is not how we were expecting
bedtime to go. That's fine. So we like go to
get them cleaned up. And it's like a whole process
because every time we like do something that
you're supposed to do to like get. bleeding to
stop or to help you know ice cold water alcohol
hydrogen peroxide we tried a styptic pen we tried
like all the things and like any mouth related
injuries bleed way more oh yeah um so like we're
already we're already there um but then also
he just he does not want us to touch it he doesn't
want us to do anything yeah um so like i have
to right so we like get him calmed down and then
we do something to like you know we even just
like cold water on a paper towel yeah and he
starts freaking out again and so it took us probably
45 minutes we had to do like a quick wash of
his elephant quick wash and dry because it was
drenched in blood at that point like we obviously
can't send him to bed with a bloody a bloody
stuffy stuffy yeah so yeah it was probably 45
minutes to an hour of us like calmed down and
you know that thing where like you're upset about
something and you get calmed down and then like
you remember yeah you could tell that was happening
in his brain oh and then at the end of all this
i looked down and the shirt that i was wearing
for the second time just covered covered in blood
and that does not come out super easy it actually
came out faster better than i expected i just
like as soon as we got him down i took it off
and soaked it and then washed it so it surprisingly
it did oh good but of course i was like this
isn't like my pajama shirt that has graduated
to a pajama shirt because it already is disgusting
and assholes in it no this is a shirt that i
bought a week ago yeah you're like i actually
like this shirt yeah yeah so also i feel like
people probably think i'm a terrible mom because
half my mom moments are just like so my kid got
hurt this week and here's how no it's called
having a two -year -old boy for real though yeah
i feel that 100 Okay, my mom moment. So as you
can tell by my voice, I sound like I smoke a
pack a day right now. So you picked up smoking?
Yeah, picked up smoking just really hard. No,
I've been sick for – so Michael actually was
sick first this time with some head cold. Then
Colt got it. Then Cruz got it. And then I got
it. And that's just how it works in our family.
So I have this like gnarly cough right now. Pretty
much every time I get like a head cold, I either
get a sinus infection or bronchitis. Oh, great.
And so I think I have like just like the end
of bronchitis at this point where I just cough
and it just sounds like I have croup basically.
So maybe I have croup. I don't know. So sorry.
I apologize in advance if you hear that on this
episode. But pretty much every time I like have
a coughing fit, I don't know if you feel this
way. But my muscles like down there are just,
you know. They're not what they used to be for
sure. They're not what they used to be. And the
amount of times that I've peed my pants in the
last three days, like not like a full bladder,
but like enough to be like, I should go change
my pants. Great. Is countless. Because also you
have one more thing that you need to think about
anyways. Yeah. Yeah. And so the amount of times
in. in public. This has happened the past couple
of days, definitely at home a bunch of times.
And yeah, it's just my muscles are not the same.
No, just a lot of coughing and peeing at the
same time. Might be TMI, but. you know what is
this podcast i feel like yeah oh my gosh well
today we kind of have like a fun and also like
loving episode i guess you would say i feel like
if you know a new dad this is maybe a good one
to send him yeah yeah absolutely yeah really
we just we're going to talk about all the ways
that our husbands have helped us make mom life
easier Yeah. Yeah. And so we're just going to
kind of go back and forth and I'm sure some of
our things will be similar or the same. Yeah.
I'm going to make sure that my husband listens
to this episode so that he can listen to it whenever
we're mad at each other or something. Perfect.
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Do you want to go first? Sure.
Yeah. So my first one is showers. So Stuart has
been really good about making sure I have time
every day to shower. And of course right now
it's... less of a big deal because so i shower
at night before bed and so usually it's like
kids are asleep and there's a little bit of time
it's not a big deal but there have definitely
been times like with newborns where my entire
shower he's just like had a screaming baby yeah
and just like dealt with it But, yeah, he's just,
like, always been really good about making sure
I have time to shower. Like, he never brings
me the screaming baby while I'm in the shower.
It's just, like, okay. Like, you take your time.
Yeah, you take your time. And then, you know,
obviously there are times when it's, like, five
minutes and you do the basics and get out. And
then you have to deal with, you know, whatever
a kid's upset about. And, yeah, now there's definitely
been times when I've, like, gotten out of the
shower and he's nowhere to be found. And then
I look on the camera and he's. taking care of
one or two kids that were started crying while
i was in there but it is like i mean i think
as a mom we all know like i mean it's basic hygiene
but it is like super important for just like
your mental health and taking care of yourself
yep just like those 10 minutes like yeah yeah
that you couldn't get and especially unbothered
or like okay no one's gonna knock on the door
and say they need something unless it's like
life or death so yeah that's my first one and
it's definitely been huge yeah Okay, my first
one is Michael does the dishes and takes out
the trash every night. And yeah, there's the
occasional like if he's gone at youth group or
whatever, like I take care of it. But it's a
no questions. Like we try to – after the kids
go to bed, we try to reset the house at nighttime
just to like gently pick up the – like it's not
like a deep clean or anything like that usually.
But he always, we run the dishwasher every single
night. So he'll unload the dishwasher from the
night before, load it again, start it, and then
he takes the trash out. And that is like super
helpful. I also don't like doing those things.
I don't like doing a lot of chores. Who really
does? That's why they're chores. Yeah. But he,
yeah, just he takes care of it. I don't have
to like ask him to do it. I don't have to, yeah,
I don't have to question it. He's just like.
on it yeah he does it and yeah i don't know i
could probably count like on my hands the amount
of times i've taken out the trash in our marriage
yeah because I mean, like, obviously there are
times that I have. Yeah. When you have to. Right.
Yeah. But yes, it's the same thing. Stuart just,
he takes out the trash. I don't think I've ever
had to pull the trash cans to the curb. Yeah.
That's definitely something I've never done in
our marriage. But, you know, sometimes it's like
taking it downstairs or, you know, to the dumpster
or whatever, but. But never out to the street.
Yeah. Yeah. That's great. All right. What's your
next one? Okay. My next one kind of goes hand
in hand with my last one, but it's, we call it
dadder day breakfast. And then I have Saturday
showers. Nice. So every Saturday morning, Stuart
makes breakfast. And then I have usually about
an hour where I take like a full shower. I wash
my hair. So even if it's like, that's the only
time that week I wash my hair sometimes. And
they're definitely more than one time that that's
the case. For sure. Like I wash my hair if I
want to, you know, do an everything shower. Yeah.
You know, that can happen. And then he makes
breakfast and watch the kids. Nice. And it takes
a full hours to make breakfast because he has
to watch the kids. For sure. Yeah. But that is
pretty much every single Saturday unless like
we have plans or, you know, something differs
in our schedule. Yeah. And again, it's super
nice to one, have a meal a week that. I don't
think about and take care of and sometimes he
goes crazy and it's like this week I made like
this week he made french toast with sourdough
that we bought from like our friend's bakery
you know there are weeks where he like goes crazy
and then sometimes like here is eggs and bacon
yeah and that's it but I don't have to make it
I don't have to think about it every once in
a while I'll make a request but yeah I don't
have to worry about it so yeah I don't have to
worry about the meal and then I just have this
time to like actually take my time getting ready
yeah and yeah that's so great clean hair sometimes
even have time to style it but that you know
those that's crazy that's um whoa slow down so
yeah and it's nice to just like kind of have
a reset yeah between like the week and the weekend
and yeah I definitely don't have time to do that
on Sunday getting both kids ready for church
by myself so I feel that yeah yeah Okay, my next
one is Michael always asks if I need anything
on the way home. So yeah, so he works in office
full time and I'm home with the kids. Two out
of the four, like. work days during the week
and then on the days that we do have child care
I still get home earlier right and so he comes
home a little bit later he always will be like
I'm on my way do you want me to stop and get
anything or do we need anything and most of the
time it's nope we're good sometimes it's like
I'll take a McDonald's Diet Coke Or, yeah, or
like, hey, can you grab me a Starbucks? Or, hey,
I put in a Target pickup order. Can you just
pick that up on the way home? Things like that,
that it's just like, it's like a little extra
special thing that he would maybe get me. A sweet
treat, if you will. Yeah, a sweet treat after
maybe a hard day. But, yeah, he's just always,
it's not just a, I'm on my way home. It's a,
I'm on my way home. Do you need anything? That's
super nice. Yeah. Super nice. And I also feel
like logistically, I know, so Stuart and I have
each other's locations on our phone, which I
know is controversial for some people, but I
don't get that. I definitely have his location.
I mean, that's a different conversation, but
I have definitely like tracked him to be like,
okay, have you left? So if I call you now. Yeah.
It won't be inconvenient. Yeah. Can you still
pick up hot dog buns or whatever thing I inevitably
forgot on our grocery picket this week? Because
you always forget something. Oh, every single
time. And it makes me so angry. And it's always
like for weeks now we've been meaning to buy
sriracha, which it's like sometimes hard to find.
It's hard to find. Stuart is a huge sriracha
guy. So when there was a shortage, it was like
a whole thing. I feel like I have a harder time
with the staples because I'll be like, oh, there
was something that this happened just the other
day where I didn't put it on our grocery list
because we always have it. And I didn't realize
how little we had. And I needed like a cup and
we had a tablespoon or whatever that is. Yeah.
So then Stuart had to run to the store. Special
trip. Yeah. Yeah. No, I feel that for sure. Thankfully
with like Target pickup, it's like, do you want
to order your usuals? And so I can like. Usually
I just go, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. But always,
I always still forget something. It's terrible.
Every time. Yeah. Okay, what's your next one?
My next one is he always takes care of things
during meals. So when we sit down to dinner and
you swear you've gotten everything for everyone
and then Lloyd's like. Cup of water, please.
Yeah. Stuart gets up and gets it. Nice. And then
when we forget to grab napkins or when we forget
to grab sriracha or when we forget, you know,
when Lloyd threw his fork on the floor and needs
a new one. No, we actually just pick it up and
we don't give him a new one. No. He's fine. Pretty
much every request at dinner, he gets up and
takes care of it. And is that just like something
you guys have established or like he just automatically
started doing it? He just automatically started
doing it. As I was like writing these down. And
actually, this is one of the things that made
me think of this idea for an episode. Because
I always hear the, like, stories of moms never
having a warm meal. Like, that's the joke, right?
Moms don't have warm meals. And obviously, like,
that's been situations in my life where it's
like. Never get to eat it. Yeah. Right when it's,
yeah, ready. So consistently, I'm like, I don't
relate with that because Stuart has always been
really good at making sure I eat, probably partially
because I get hangry and he doesn't want to deal
with that. And then for getting stuff for the
kids, I mean, I think it might partially be like
his chair is actually just closer to the kitchen.
I don't know. Like this isn't something. He's
like, I might as well grab it. Right. This isn't
something we've ever like talked about or established.
But it's one of those moments where it's like,
oh, you're serving me without me asking. It's
like, oh, I can just eat my dinner and I feel
a little bit bad because I'm like, no, you're
the one that's eating the cold dinner. You haven't
had a bite of dinner by the time everyone else
is done or whatever. He's like, I can relate
to those moms that say that. But yeah, it is
nice, especially since like being in a situation
I'm in and we're in of being like a stay -at
-home working mom. That means for most of the
meals, I'm by myself with the kids. So to have
this one meal where it's like, oh no, he's taking
care of this stuff. Yeah, that's nice. It's just
like. It's really nice. Again, I don't know if
he even intentionally does this, but it feels
super thoughtful and caring. Yeah, it's so nice.
That is nice. I saw this. We actually, our No
Manual page we follow, Chaos with Kara. I feel
like she always pops up right when I go to our
page. But she talks about how she's established
a rule that no kid can sit on her lap while she's
eating. That's a good one. And I'm like, oh,
that. I think that's a really great rule. I don't
think my kids would understand that at this moment.
Yeah. It is, I feel like, an age thing because
her kids are a little – like I think her youngest
is two, which is very different than your oldest
being two. Yep, exactly. And so I'm like, oh,
that's a great rule of like, hey, mommy's eating
right now. Like it can either wait or you can
figure it out. Yeah. And I think that's a good
way to establish like it's important for me to
eat too. Yeah. Yeah. Mom needs to take care of
herself so everyone else can like also be taken
care of. Yeah, exactly. Okay. My next one, this
is going to be cheesy, but Michael solo parents
so I can record this podcast. And so we like
our rhythm is kind of, we record like almost.
probably biweekly, every two weeks. Yeah, and
we'll record like two episodes at a time. And
it's a no questions asked. Like if I figure out
a time with you and I just tell Michael like,
hey, I'm going to go record with Erica on Saturday
at 11. He says, okay. And it's not like a, ugh.
Can you push it later? Yeah, can you push it
later? Can you help me with nap time before you
go? It's just. he understands that this is important
to me and is like cheering us on. Yeah. I just
feel like he's really in my corner on it and
wants to see like us succeed in this. And so
him being like on the other side of it and solo
parenting through when we record is just like,
it's so, I don't think he realizes how, how much
it means to me and how intentional it is. Yeah.
I think cause Stuart does the same is exactly
the same. And I honestly don't think people who
listen realize how much this wouldn't exist if
it wasn't for Stuart and Michael. Absolutely.
There's the week -to -week, like, they take care
of our kids. And they're not babysitting. No.
They're just being dads. Yeah. But also, like,
logistically, if they didn't want to, like, we
wouldn't be able to make this happen. And then
also there's... Other pieces of it, too, like
no one obviously saw you saw it. Stuart just
spent like half an hour before we started this
episode trying to get something set up for us
that unfortunately didn't work this time. Yeah.
Yes. But and Michael has done a bunch of our
graphic design and stuff like that. So there's
just. Yeah. They're in our corner. And that's.
It's so nice. Yeah. That's invaluable. So. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. OK. What's your next? All right.
My next one. So this is especially important.
early on when i'm breastfeeding but he does this
all the time is making sure i have snacks nice
um and so yeah like when the kids were like little
babies and you're just like breastfeeding constantly
because that's what you do starving and ravenous
yeah he always makes sure i have like a snack
close by and refills my water nice um and then
now of course zeta is almost a year she's turning
a year next week which is crazy now it's less
of like that and more like we're at the stories
like what Do you have snacks at home? What snack?
Like, do you want a snack treat? And I mean,
he gets me my water before bed very frequently,
which is, you know, classic husband move, but
so important. And like, I, I don't know if you're
this way. I have to have a snack before bed.
If I don't have a snack before bed. Always a
bowl of cereal or popcorn for me. It's like 1130
or 12. And I'm like, well, now I'm starving.
Yes. And you're like, I've already brushed my
teeth. Do I... Do I just power through and go
to sleep and then wake up really hangry? No,
never power through. Or do I get up now that
I'm comfortable in bed and go have a snack and
then give a... Then do I brush my teeth? What's
your go -to snack? So right now, cereal is a
big one. The other one, so for Christmas, Stuart
got me this, a cast iron pan that's probably
like... Ooh, cute. This big, so like... maybe
six inches i don't something like that pretty
small it's a great size for a large chocolate
chip cookie so that is my go -to nice it's a
cast i'm gonna make a singular chocolate chip
cookie it's great um so that's my go -to but
so yeah then in the evening if he like notices
it's getting late i'll be like have you had your
bedtime snack yet You should have a snack. Have
you had your bedtime snack? So sweet. He makes
sure I'm fed, which again, might be a little
bit selfish because I do get hangry and I'm not.
He's like, I'm actually just looking out for
myself. My own well -being. Yeah. Yeah. But it
comes across as loving. So that's what matters.
Yeah. My go -to is usually honey bunches of oats.
Makes me sound like I'm 80 years old. No, when
I was pregnant with Zeta, that's what I had constantly.
I love it. And then Michael always has a. bag
of popcorn and i've recently like picked up on
that too and so we'll we don't share a bag we
have our own perfect bags and mine's usually
kettle corn and his is like full butter popcorn
we the like spice shop that I get all of our
spices from because I'm a little bit bougie that
way. They have popcorn seasonings. And they've
all been really good. Stuart got me a cookies
and cream one for Christmas that we haven't tried
yet. Cookies and cream? Popcorn? What? So we'll
have to try it and report back. Interesting.
Yeah, they have like a cinnamon roll one that's
really good. And they had like a garlic and dill
or something like that. That sounds very good.
I'll just send them your way. Are you like an...
Sorry, I'm going on a popcorn rant. Are you an
M &M's in the popcorn person? Because I am. I
don't know if I've ever actually done that, but
I feel like I would like it. I like salty sweet.
It is good because the M &M's get a little bit
melty. Very good. And there's also a little bit
of a different crunch with the M &M's. So I could
see it being really good, but I don't know if
I've ever actually done it. Very good. Okay,
rant over. My next one is Michael lays with Colt
every night so I can focus on Cruz. Kind of similar
to what you were saying with... in your mom moment
and you know there's the occasional night where
i'm putting both kids to bed and we just we make
it work but right now so we finally moved colt's
recliner into cruz's room so i can now feed cruz
in his room by not like sitting on the ground
or whatever and so yeah that's just kind of been
our routine now so colt and michael will go in
his room and read books and Colt wants us to
lay with him until he falls asleep. And so then
I can focus on Cruz and feed him and get him
down. And usually I am out of the room before
Michael's out of the room. So then I'll like
start cleaning or whatever. But it's just like
that divide and conquer mentality is, is totally
where, like where we're at right now. For sure.
Yeah. And so, yeah, it's just super nice that
it's like, it's a no, no brainer. Like I'm going
to put Cruz down while you put Cole down. And
obviously he doesn't have lactating boobs to
be able to feed Cruz, but. Right. Yes. To know
that like you are both accomplishing what you
need to. Yeah. I'll actually skip ahead because
I have one that is. goes hand in hand with that
which is stewart always gets up with lloyd so
at night if one of the kids cries if it's lloyd
it's pretty much no question to ask that stewart
will be the one up to get him like obviously
if it's like stewart is dead asleep i'm not gonna
just let lloyd cry or whatever yeah but And again,
it's not because he's not taking care of Zeta.
It's just because nine times out of 10, if he
goes and gets Zeta, then it's going to end up
being like, she just wants to nurse. She doesn't
want me. Yeah. But because again. because i'm
the one that has lactating boobs and i'm the
one that can nurse her and for zeta i'm usually
the only answer at night yeah that means that
when it is lloyd he kind of just handles yeah
because lloyd will take either of us most of
the time yeah and so he's the one that gets up
and takes care of lloyd which is super nice yeah
again the divide and conquer and not feeling
like you're the only one taking care of everyone
is so nice yep yeah Absolutely. Okay. My next
one is Michael's always willing to help when
I ask for it. So not only is it during the night
or whatever, it's literally any time if I'm like,
can you help me? It's a no, not a like, what
do you need help with? Or what do you? It sounds
so bad. What do you want? Yeah. Yeah. It's always
like a, yep, I'll be right there or what can
I do? And it goes back to like he's a parent
too. Absolutely. Right. But sometimes it is like,
hey, can you take both the kids so I can go to
the bathroom or like take a quick shower or can
I just go lay down for 15 minutes? Like the other
day, yeah, I was like super not feeling good
just with. this whole head cold thing and and
I like texted him on his way home from work and
I'm like he's had a long work day he's tired
too it's a different type of tired but I text
him and I was like when you get home can I Can
I just go lay down for 15 minutes? And I ended
up falling asleep and I slept for like over an
hour. And he like, it was like a, yeah, of course
you can go lay down. And when I come down, I'm
like, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep
for so long. And he's like, you don't need to
be sorry. You needed the rest. Yeah. Yeah. It's
very understanding. And in my head, I'm like,
oh, I feel so bad that you had to watch your
kids for. Yeah. I don't know what that like.
complex is because i definitely run into that
too where yeah like i feel bad for asking you
to be a parent even though you are a parent and
yeah yeah yeah it's totally a and i do the same
thing if the roles are reversed yeah without
being asked usually so yeah absolutely yeah so
he's just always super helpful and always it's
a no -brainer that he's gonna help and i can
rely on him and that is something that i feel
really lucky to have yeah yeah that's so nice
yeah all right my next one is he always says
bath time nice i think i don't think i've done
a single bath time since ada was born actually
yeah maybe once um but he always handles bath
time i help him get the kids into the bath and
out of the bath and then To be honest, usually
I'm like cleaning or putting laundry away or
changing sheets or something during bath time.
Trying to get something done that you can't get
done. Right. But then also that's kind of nice
because that means once the kids are down and
asleep, I don't have to do that. Yeah. Totally.
Because it's like this has to happen at some
point. And then every once in a while it's like,
no, I'm just going to sit and brain rot on my
phone for 15 minutes while bath time happens.
But yeah, typically it's like. How often do you
guys do bath? Is it? So we usually do like three
days a week. Okay. Yep. same obviously if there's
like we have sour cream for dinner yeah almost
a guarantee that you know bath time's gonna happen
because sour cream makes great hair gel um but
yeah so typically like three days a week and
he never complains no it's just you know that's
like part of the routine it's part of the routine
yeah That's super sweet. Again, it's just like
one of those things that's super nice to be like,
I don't have to worry about that. This is a kind
of you responsibility. Yeah. I remember like
a little while ago you talked about how Stuart
does kids' bath time together and that you're
like, I don't know how he does it, but he does
it. And I remember that week I went home and
I was like, all right, I'm going to try to get
the kids in the bath together. Stuart can do
it. I can do it. Yes. And so ever since then
I've been doing bath time together and it works
out so much better because it's like, I'm not
draining the water, refilling it. And it's just,
I don't know. Yeah, I mean, now it is a lot easier.
When he first started doing their bath time together,
Zeta was like itty bitty. Teeny tiny. So it was
like we had the baby bath in the tub and then
Lloyd and Zeta in that and then Lloyd in the
tub outside of the baby bath and trying not to
like. To drown her. Drown her. Yeah. And so now
that she can like sit up and she's not standing
quite on her own yet, but she can stand assisted
and stuff like that. Yeah. Yeah. Anytime I go
in there, it's like, you know, it's like a cartoon
of kids in a bath where, you know, the water's
up and they're playing with their toys. Cute.
Yeah. That's really cute. Okay. My next one is
Michael always, if he's home, he always makes
dinner. And that is like. I mean, I cook. Yeah.
It's not going to be elaborate. If it's anything
that I have to follow a recipe for, I follow
it to a T. Like I'm not creative in the kitchen
at all. And so, and Michael's like a no recipe,
just, yeah, chef it up. And so, yeah, even after
a long day at work, like. No matter what, obviously
if he's like getting home at seven o 'clock or
whatever, I'll handle it. But he makes dinner,
no questions asked. I usually plan what we're
going to eat and order it or whatever we need
to do. Make sure you have the ingredients. Yeah,
make sure the meat is defrosted. But he always,
he makes it. And that's super, like, I don't
have to think about it. And I love that. That's
so nice. Yeah, yeah. All right. My next one is
he always makes sure I have playtime with Lloyd
at parks. So I feel like, I don't know if other
moms feel this way, but as mom, it's really easy
to fall in the like boring parent role or like
even maybe the main parent role where like you're
the one doing the scolding and being like, no,
don't throw a ball at your sister's face. Yes.
No, don't. jump off the couch because you're
gonna get hurt no no like don't don't do that
no we can't go to the park today no we can't
do this no we can't do that and especially like
again working it's like if he wants to go to
the playground like i would love to do that buddy
but like mom's gotta mom's gotta do emails so
right so like it's really easy to fall into that
role which is really really frustrating so when
we do go to the park as a family almost always
like we always we switch off at some point but
he'll be like go play with lloyd so that way
we can like you know i chase him around and we
go down slides together and push him on the swings
then usually at some point you know it's like
we switch off and so i do like you know some
of the calmer stuff with zeta too but it's really
nice that he just like prioritizes and knows
that hey i need to like also have fun with my
kids because like that's one of the joys of motherhood
yeah and that can get lost super super easily
but also to like kind of establish that's like
mom's not just like stick in the mud parent and
like she has fun with you too yeah so yeah and
pretty much every time like we get out of the
car at the park or we like show up you know drive
the stroller up to the park whatever he's like
okay go have fun with lloyd and then you know,
20 minutes in or whenever we'll switch off. That's
really sweet. A really nice, that is one of those
things I know he does intentionally. Yeah. And
it's a very sweet thing that he prioritizes for
me and for us and like Lloyd and I's relationship.
And it's so important for like our olders to
not forget that, like that we can really just
giving them the full attention that they don't
necessarily get the majority of the time. Yeah.
So I feel that for sure. OK, my next one is this
is just going to sound cheesy again, but Michael
goes to work full time to provide for us. And,
you know, he could choose not to do that. He
could choose to just say, hey, we're going to,
I don't know, figure it out along the way. But
it's like he knows the importance of working
and his job and knows that. it provides for us.
And I view it as like a way that he leads our
family well. And he's also like establishing
a good work ethic for Colt and Cruz for like
for the future. Yeah. Yeah. And showing like,
hey, sometimes you don't necessarily want to
go to work or yeah, do these things, but you
do it because you have to or or it provides for
your family or yeah. That is just something that
I don't take for granted. Like we're very blessed
with our jobs and he goes to work every day no
matter what. And I really appreciate that. That's
great. Yeah. Mine actually kind of goes with
that, which is Stuart always has energy for our
kids. So he did recently change jobs, but up
until like less than a month ago, he was working.
10 plus hour days in a wood shop yeah so physical
labor all day long and then he'd come home and
still be down on the floor playing with the kids
and doing things for the kids no just no matter
what yeah um he has changed jobs so he's still
working at the same place yeah he's still working
in the same place but an office job which does
mean he has more energy for them just inherently
which is really nice but he still works at long
hours he still gets there at 6 a .m every day
day works till like four yeah that's a long day
so yeah he works really long days he definitely
gets not a lot of sleep just because of how life
works then yep um and yeah he just always has
energy to play with it to go on little walks
and to go to the park and you know do whatever
Read books. It's like unexplained energy. Are
you getting this? I don't know if part of it
is just looking back historically and knowing
how little time dads used to spend with their
kids. Anytime I see statistics, it's like, boomer
dads spent 2 % of their time with their kids
or something crazy like that. Knowing just how
honestly like he could do that if he wanted you
know i would not be happy and we we would be
fighting a lot yeah but you know it's like it
is an option that other dads have and i'm sure
still do take to just be like i'm tired i'm not
gonna help and that's never his attitude where
it's like he gets home from work and the kids
are Like as soon as they hear the garage door
open, they run to the living room window to watch
him. And he's like excited to see them in the
window and that he gets excited to like come
in and see them. They're, you know, dad. And
Lloyd usually has a card that he's showing him
as he walks up the stairs. And yeah. And so it's
like they're so excited to see him and he meets
that energy. Even when he's exhausted and doesn't
have it in him, I'm sure. I'm sure it gives him
a little bit of energy, like seeing the kids
like that, be so excited. Yeah, when someone's
happy to see you, it always makes you feel good.
Yeah, absolutely. Okay, my next one is going
back to postpartum and just that Michael was
the most attentive during postpartum and especially
during like his paternity leave and allowing
me to really spend time with. cruise as a newborn
and take not necessarily take colts off my hands
but like yeah but he would yeah yeah he would
take him on walks or take him on errands like
always go get us coffee or whatever and it just
it he was the most attentive and caring he would
always you know make my little postpartum uh
ice packs and nice yeah would just ask me what
i needed and would always He just same with the
water and snacks, make sure I had water, make
sure I had snacks, make sure I was eating. Cause
like I said, you're like ravenous and postpartum.
Like I just remember being starving and we had
a lot of people that. Brought us meals and we
were super grateful for that. So we'd always
make sure like, okay, have you eaten lunch yet?
Let me heat this up for you. Yeah. So I'm super
appreciative of that time. And I didn't like
feel like I was just navigating it alone or.
Yeah. Yeah. That's great. My next one is he takes
lots of pictures of us. Now, to be fair, not
all of them are the most flattering of me. For
sure. But I also know that someday I'm going
to look back and be like, I'm glad that that
picture exists, even if it's not, you know, even
if my hair hasn't been washed in seven years
and I'm in holy sweats and all of that. But he's
really good at taking pictures of the kids and
of me and the kids. And every time I like end
up. looking at his phone for something, like
I'm looking at his pictures for whatever reason,
I realize how many more he has than I realized,
which is really sweet. That is sweet. That is
really sweet. Okay. My next one is Michael. This
is, I just feel like my neural is so cheesy,
but that Michael's really just the best dad.
And I think that he's kind of broken the cycle.
Like, so his dad. did not raise him. And so I
have an episode about that. Yes. If you'd like
to tune back to like a year ago or whatever.
So yeah, he just has broken the, broken the cycle
and that, and I know he was like really a little
bit nervous going into fatherhood about. I always
– I mean I knew he was going to be a great dad.
I wouldn't have had kids with him if I didn't
know that. Right. And he just has like exceeded
my expectations, like always so attentive and
getting on the ground and playing with the boys
and like roughhousing all the things and also
caring for me on top of that and reading about
different ways to be the best dad. Like just
all the avenues that I think – aren't necessarily
the norm in today's world unfortunately but I
think I'm just really proud of him that's great
yeah yeah Stuart's such a good dad too yeah he's
just like the perfect dad for our kids which
is so fun it is it's seriously so fun to be in
this stage of life when like you've dreamt about
it for so long or you're talking about it for
so long and then you you're like I just can't
wait to see you step into that role yeah and
then when you do it's like it seems like the
perfect role for them like it's they don't have
to get used to it or anything like that it's
just it's just so natural yeah exactly exactly
okay okay i think this is my last one but i do
have a bonus one that's just like kind of funny
cool so my last one is when he plans a date night
he just like does it like he talks to grandparents
about babysitting and nice There have been a
couple times when it's funny because my mother
-in -law always asks me the questions. And you're
like, I have no idea. There have literally been
multiple times I'm like, I don't know. Like,
oh, we're going on a date? Cool. Yeah. I mean,
usually I know that much. But yeah, where she'll
be like, what time should I be there? I'm like,
Stuart actually didn't tell me what time our
plans were. So you've got to talk to him, which
is like just kind of a nice. thing to not have
to deal with and there are times that i plan
it too you know i mean typically like if my parents
are babysitting i talk to them yeah um like the
last date night we had there was a movie that
i wanted to see so it's like okay i found the
showing and the all of that and then planned
it all i kind of planned it all but when he plans
it he Even if it's not like this big extravagant
date, which it pretty much rarely is because
that's just not our life right now. He makes
sure the kids are taken care of and that there's
a plan. And yeah, frequently I'm like, I know
generally what we're doing. Yeah. But he. He's
got all the logistics down and. Yeah. Or. All
the details. There have also been multiple times
that afterwards he's like, I actually had no
plan and it was super fun anyways. I just knew
we were going on a date. I didn't know what we
were doing, but yeah. Yeah. I love it. The kids
were taken care of and we got out of the house
and had dinner and the rest of the night we kind
of just figured out as we went. That's so fun.
But it was fun. Nice. Yeah. That's really nice.
Yeah. Okay. I've got one more. And you kind of
already talked about this too, but Michael does
not stray away from the difficult. And I would
say we're in one of the most difficult stages
of parenting we've experienced right now just
with like, I mean, Cole is two and a half, so
he's got. a big personality that we love so much,
but also his tantrums are really big. And now
that Cruz is like really on the move, it's just
adds a whole nother level there. And Cole is
like, totally wants to roughhouse with Cruz.
So literally like, we'll come up behind Cruz
and like headlock him and like pull him down.
Which you're like, that's going to be really
fun in like five years. Yeah. Right now he's
too little. Yes. And so Michael, like, I would
say especially in the nighttime, like with Colt,
it's like 25 % of the time when Colt wakes up
in the middle of the night, which is an every
night sort of situation right now, he will wake
up inconsolable. And since I'm with Cruz or like
I need to be available for Cruz, he always handles
Colt and goes in there and is just so patient.
Whereas like me at two in the morning, I am not
a patient human being. Go back to sleep as fast
as you possibly can, please. Yes. And he just
is so patient with him. And yeah, some of the
times it just looks like Michael just laying
there and just like kind of waiting it out. And
for me, that is, I don't know how he does it.
Because when someone's screaming, crying in my
face at two in the morning, it's like so difficult
for me to be. and just like let it happen without
saying something. And so he just, he's the most
patient human being I know. That's so great.
Stuart definitely has way more patience. Yeah.
And I don't know if it's like my hormones or
what, but like I feel like my patience has been
lacking in some areas and Michael just makes
up for that. And I don't know how he does it.
He's like, he has so much on his shoulders. And
he like balances it all so well. And yeah, I'm
sure his mind would say otherwise. Sure, yeah.
But on the outside, it looks like he's handling
it. And even if there's something stressful at
work or stressful with us or whatever, he never
shows that to the kids and is always just super
patient and attentive to them. That's great.
Okay, what's your bonus one? My last bonus one
is he hates it when people call it babysitting.
Yes. When he's taking care of his kids. Yep.
Or dad duty. He's like, what are you talking
about? I am not babysitting my children. They're
my children too. That is so true. Yeah, dad duty
is the other one because it kind of signifies
that like there are times you're not on dad duty,
which like. Michael totally has a hat that says
on dad duty. so he just wears it constantly yeah
right uh yeah we're like if he it's especially
with zeta i don't know maybe if it's because
she's a girl or what or because she's so little
um if he like runs an errand with her obviously
he draws all the attention yeah in the entire
world like oh you must be a single dad and apparently
yeah because why else would you be running an
errand with your small child by yourself yeah
um that deadbeat mom you know yeah right must
be at home drinking a whole bottle of vodka yeah
um but he yeah he just hates it when people call
it babysitting or dad duty or like yeah just
implicate that he's not an equal parent in this
and like obviously It looks different because
he's not home with them all the time. But like
if I called him during his work day because our
house was burning down and, you know, I mean,
obviously this wasn't literal. But the other
day, like that did happen where it was like we're
really struggling. And he went into work late
because he like called his boss. He's like, hey,
listen, the one year old, she woke up screaming.
We don't know what's going on. We like we honestly
thought maybe she needs to go to the hospital
because of how much she was screaming. He's like,
I'm going to be in late. And yeah, so it's just
like stuff like that where it's like he just
understands like he's a dad and he hates it when
people imply that like. Like, oh, this is just.
You're a lesser parent for some reason. Yeah.
Because you're not. Yeah. That is. I love. Yeah.
I love to when people say like babysit. Yeah.
Babysitting their kids. I'm like. No. Actually,
he's not babysitting his kids. I'm not paying
him. I'm not paying him and he is a parent. So
yeah. Well, and it's funny because my parents
even get upset, like not like upset, upset, but
like they don't call it babysitting. They're
like, we're grandparents. We're grandparents
taking care of our grandkids. Yeah. Babysitting
is like when you hire someone or like when you
get additional help that's outside of like, we're
not babysitting. So yeah. I think it's really
funny because he's like. so avidly against it
and i am too like i think it's so dumb if someone
says that to him will he will he say like oh
i'm not babysitting my kids i'm or will he just
be like i think typically he kind of just like
rolls his eyes it also depends probably like
circumstance and like the mood he's in i think
if he was in like a really feisty mood he would
say something he would definitely say something
oh i like that i want to be on a fly on the wall
for when that happens yes yeah okay well hopefully
for those of you that are parenting alongside
somebody, I hope that this helps you to stop
and slow down and realize the intentionality
that each of you are putting into it and maybe
point some of that out. I know I definitely need
to point it out with Michael, like my appreciation.
And yeah, I think when someone appreciates me
for something I do for them, it can really like
change my demeanor. And so, yeah, maybe try it
out as an encouragement for you this week. But
you want to hop into your win of the week? Sure.
So Zeta had her first eye appointment. Oh, nice.
Which also just like as kind of a side note.
I meant to look this up and didn't have time
because I don't know if this is a national program
or not, but at least in Colorado, there's a program
called Infancy, like infant and then S -E -E.
Oh, S -E -E. That some pediatric eye doctors
will do free eye exams for babies under a year.
Oh. And it's like part of kind of like some sort
of study that they're doing for like progressive
diseases or something like that. I don't know
all the details, but. We have a friend who's
an eye doctor, and so she told us about that.
So that's who we go see. Yeah, so Zeta had her
first eye appointment yesterday, and she just
did so good. Because, like, obviously it's hard
to check a baby's eyes because they're moving.
And they obviously do it different than, you
know, they're not like, do you see the letter
A? A or B? Which one do you see better? Yeah,
which one's better? Obviously we're not doing
that. They do like kind of an old school like
exam of the actual eyes themselves. And she just
did so good. Like they had to dilate her eyes
and she didn't cry with the eye drops. Wow. Or
after because that's like a weird. She cried
once we got in the car. But the sun was like
kind of blasting her. So I'm like, yeah, that
makes sense. So but yeah, she just did so good.
I was so proud of her. Yeah, that's awesome.
That's that reminds me. I still need to get.
Colton for a night doctor appointment. So thanks
for that reminder. Cool. Okay. My win. So we've
been really working on the crib with Cruz and
Michael and I, we were actually away for two
nights this last week for a work, like a work
trip conference thing that we were putting on
in Boulder. And we had Michael's aunt. She was
in town and she watched the boys for us for two
nights. And I no longer have frozen milk available.
So Cruz drank formula for like those two days.
And I mean, sleep is like not a thing in our
home right now. And so I just felt really bad
like leaving the boys and being like, fend for
yourself. And it's just one person like having
to handle both kids. They both did like fairly
good sleeping wise. And of course they would
whenever we're not there. But then the first
night back, Cruz did a six and a half hour stretch
in his crib. Wow. Which was just like. That's
a huge stretch even on his crib for him. Yeah.
For him, it was just, I was like, what's wrong?
But I, I think I've amounted it to that. He had
had formula a little bit that day, which I think
fills his belly. Yeah. I know formula babies
are more likely to sleep through the night faster.
And so it hasn't happened again since then. But
you got the one. Yes. And so I literally like,
I think I put him down at like eight or something
and he was up at like, it was like 2 .45 was
his first wake up. Wow. And I, yeah, I like slept
in my own bed for like almost four hours or something
like that. I feel like there was one night that
you text me and you're like, I got three hours
of consecutive sleep last night. Yeah. And it
like, when he woke up, I like, I was not frustrated
at all. I was just like, all right. That's so
nice when you get to the point where you're like,
okay, like I can feed you and go back to sleep.
Yeah, yeah. And at that point, like I brought
him into bed with me because I was like, eh.
I don't want to fight this. Yeah, I don't want
to fight this. But even just like that six and
a half hour stretch, I was like, I kept checking
the monitor like, are you breathing? Yeah. Are
you breathing? But yeah, it was just a glorious
situation. That's so nice. So I'm hoping, I'm
hoping. that it can be a little more consistent.
Now, as we continue to like, we're trying to
do the crib for all naps and like just be consistent.
Yeah. Yeah. Cause he's just, he's just getting
too big. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We definitely got
to, I mean, not too big, but too wiggly at least
in our bed for Zeta. Yep. Okay, well. Thanks
for listening. Yeah, maybe we'll put some question
boxes out this week for, you know, if you guys
want to share some of the things your spouse
or your partner does that really support you
in motherhood. And we'll see you next week. See
you next week. Well, that's enough oversharing
for today. If you enjoyed hanging out with us,
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MomCast, where motherhood is messy. At least
we can laugh about it together. Chocolate chip
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