motherhood where sleep is a rumor and laundry
is eternal and somehow we're supposed to be raising
tiny humans through it all we're here to laugh
at the chaos cry when necessary and remind you
that none of us actually know what we're doing
this is no manual a mom cast your mom friend
group chat but with microphones welcome back
to no manual mom cast Hi everyone, welcome back
to No Manual on MomCast. We're excited you're
listening today. Today we're, this is kind of
a cool like statistics episode, I would say.
I think this is probably the most research we've
ever done for an episode. Oh, for sure, for sure.
So we're just talking about like parenting around
the world. And all like the differences, all
the similarities. Different traditions. Different
traditions, everything like that. So that's kind
of cool. But before we hop into that, do you
want to start with your mom moment? Sure. So
we went to the park the other day. And I'm trying
to give Lloyd a little more independence. You
know, not just like following him around on the
playground the entire time. So, which is kind
of a cool stage to be at a little bit where you're
like, you can step back and let them like do
their thing. Yeah. Um, so we were at the playground
and he went all the way up to like. biggest tallest
slide right away and we've been to this playground
before he's like gone down the slide before it's
not a big deal but it was also one of the like
spinning ones so he like got to the top and then
a bigger kid was climbing up and like he what
lloyd wasn't expecting this kid to just like
pop up right as he was about to go down the slide
and so it spooked him and then he like turned
around to look for me and I wasn't there because
I wasn't following him and I just like I could
see him the whole time but he couldn't see me
so I just like see him turn around and like get
his big big sad frown and just mom hug and then
since he couldn't find me he just like burst
into tears So, obviously, I, like, scrambled
up on the playground and, like, picked him up.
Like, I'm so sorry, buddy. Like, I'm right here.
Yeah. And, I mean, we ended up having a great
time in the park. That's so sad. It's funny because
he's, like, crying. And I'm like, do you want
to go down a different slide? Do you want to
go down this? Like, no one's coming up this slide
now. Do you want to go down this slide? Go down
big yellow slide. I'm like, okay, you can go
down this slide, buddy. So, we recovered, but
it was one of those things where you're like.
Am I the world's worst mom? Because like this
is his village. This is his villain origin story.
Yeah. That like he got scared at the playground
and mom wasn't like right there to. So he feels
abandoned. And yeah. But it was just so sad.
Oh, isn't that the worst when you're like, you
can see your child searching for you and you're
like, I'm right here, honey. Yeah. I'm right
here. They're not registering. Yeah. Yeah. Oh
gosh. I just feel awful. Oh, poor little buddy.
Okay. My mom moment. We were just chatting about
this off, off camera. So we, Cruz is like learning
all the things right now. So crawling, standing
up on things. He's like doing some weird clicky
thing with his mouth. He's also cutting. He,
his top two just like just broke through within
the last two nights. He now has four on the bottom,
which all like he had two before, but the other
two just cut through like a week ago. And so
I, I feel like it's just all the things which
like, in that case relates to like just terrible
sleep yep and i've talked about it before we
fully co -sleep with cruise and i'm getting to
that point where i just i don't think i can do
it anymore And like last night was I woke up
this morning and I like told Michael, I was like,
I think that might have been the worst night's
sleep I've gotten in my entire lifetime, which
is not true. But like it sure felt like it this
morning. There's like a difference between I've
had a few nights in my life where I've gotten
like two and a half hours of sleep because of
whatever is going down. But it's like solid.
yeah dead to the world sleep so then when i wake
up i'm like listen i'm tired but i'm so but i
got a survivable amount of sleep but when it's
like uninterrupted and you like never get like
a solid No, I don't think I ever, I think I had
one. I remember waking up this morning after
my alarm went off because of course it was the
one, one of the mornings Cole had to go to tumbling
class. So it was like, we had to get up by a
certain time. I couldn't just lay there. But
I remember in between like snoozing my alarm
for the 15th time, I like had some, a dream of
some sort. I don't remember it now, but pretty
much all night. So like Cruz last night, he was
it was super difficult to get him down. And he
just like every time I sat him down, he literally
would just like sit back up. And it's not like
he was upset or anything. He was just like wide
awake. Who needs sleep? And then he'd like start
crawling around. And that's the other thing,
too, is like if we leave, like we'll we'll put
Cruz down. And then I kind of just like like
I'll put him in the bed. We have the camera on
him so we can see him. But I kind of just like
place the pillows like far enough around him
where I'm like. oh, if he rolls, he's not going
to fall off the bed, all the things. Now it's
to the point where he's crawling so quickly that
if you see him wake up and sit up, you've got
to book it to the room or else he's going to
just do -do -do -do -do and then fall off the
bed. Yep. He hasn't yet, thank the Lord. But,
man, so it was, like, so hard to get him down.
And then, like, of course, when I went to go
to bed, that woke him up, like, me just, like,
climbing into bed. And then he was up, like,
an hour and a half later. And he was up for,
like, an extended period of time, too. It was,
like, he woke up at, like, 2 .45, and then he
was up until, like, probably 4. And then was
up again at like, I think it was like 5 .30.
And then was up until my alarm went off at 7.
And then he finally fell asleep at like 7 .15,
only until 7 .30. And I was like. Dear God. But
he woke up happy as a clam. Yeah. I'm like, at
least you're happy, but I'm not. At least you're
not calming down a crying baby, because that's
worse at 3 a .m. Yes. Sort of. They're worse
in different ways. Yes. Right? So at least a
crying baby, you're like, oh, you need something,
and maybe I can figure out what that is. But
then also crying at 3 a .m. is not fun. No. Gosh.
So I think tonight we're going to – this is at
least what I've said. I'm going to try the crib
tonight. And just see if that's like he just
needs a little bit of space from us. I'm not
necessarily like wanting that, but like something's
got to give here. I also am thinking as I'm drinking
a Diet Coke that maybe I'm consuming a little
bit too much caffeine. And I was reading, I was
chat GPT -ing about caffeine consumption and
how it affects like how much gets into your breast
milk. It definitely gets into your breast milk
and it can affect the baby depending on how much
you consume. I don't think I'm consuming that
that much, but maybe he's just a little more
sensitive. I don't know. I'm trying to find answers,
but super fun. All the things that you think
about when you're like, I just need some sleep.
You'll come up with anything. Yeah, for reals.
If I clap three times, spin around. Then something.
Yeah, I don't know. Um, okay. So, uh, where do
you want to start with this? Do you want to like,
we could start kind of like birth and yeah. So
I looked up birth traditions around the world.
Also, I apologize in advance. My notes are not
nearly as organized as I normally am. No. Oh
gosh. Mine are literally screenshots of things.
So, okay, cool. Stuart, I'm sorry. You're probably
going to have to clean more up. Um, okay. So
I just looked up. birth traditions around the
world that i found interesting so in turkey to
celebrate the new baby and get milk flowing mothers
drink a traditional beverage called i don't think
i should say this because i i'll say it wrong
lojasa serbeti oh sounds right postpartum sherbet
It's made with water, sugar, cloves, cinnamon,
and red food coloring. Red food coloring? That's
kind of weird. Interesting. Everything else,
I'm like, that sounds delicious. I would just
think that just... Sounds like kind of Christmassy.
Yeah. But the red food coloring is weird. It's
served in the hospital, and there are no baby
showers in Turkey, but celebrations are postponed
to after the baby's born. Mom and baby stay home
for 20 days after delivery. And then after that,
friends stop by for this sorbetti. Once the 20
days have passed and people bring gifts and,
like, share this drink. I thought that was. That
is very interesting. Yeah. I understand, like,
the tradition of the drink. I feel like 20 days
at home just alone would be really hard for me.
Like, I understand, like, the healing process,
like, all that. I think I would go stir crazy.
Yeah, that was one thing I've thought about with,
so we've had a summer baby and a winter baby.
I don't think Lloyd was born on the hottest day
of the year, but pretty close. Zeta was in fact
born on one of the coldest days of the year.
And honestly, I would take a summer pregnancy
to have a summer postpartum. yeah every day because
like when lloyd was born we got outside every
day we weren't like doing crazy things but we're
just sitting in the sun sit in the sun like maybe
take like just a little walk you know in the
area nearby yeah so then when zeta was born we
literally went to church when she was like six
days old i remember that yeah i was like because
i'm going crazy because it's two degrees out
and we can't go outside and i need to leave the
house so yeah no i same for us our kids are literally
like just a few weeks apart on each end. But
I, yeah, I remember with, with Cruz, Michael
would like take Colt places like, or he would
literally go outside and like, they would go
puddle jumping because it was like, that was
kind of. And then I would just stay inside because
it was too cold for me and baby. So yeah, I don't
know how, I think that sounds like a great idea.
I think it would be really hard. Yeah. I think
it would be really hard for me. Yeah. I think
it also depends on like, it feels like it depends
on a lot of things for me. All right. In Germany,
they're very strict about names. So you have
to have like an approved name. Oh, wait, I've
heard this before. So there's some like obvious
options, obvious things that are not allowed,
but you're not allowed to like last names. So
like a Smith, you can name your kid to Smith.
I don't know if that's an actual example, but
like a surname can't be a first name. It can't
be like an object. And it looks like you can
make a case with the state, but they would have
to approve it. Whoa. Which is crazy to me that
you'd have to get like state approval to name
your kid. Whoa. Okay. I've also seen something
similar. I might totally butcher this. I can't
remember what country it was. I want to say it
was like Denmark or something like that. But
they have to go to like a council. I don't think
it was Denmark. I think I made that up. But they
had to go to like a council to... Then ask permission
for them to, like the baby's already born. The
baby is unnamed at this point. And then they
have to get approval to then name the baby. That's
crazy. I'm like, whoa. I don't want that many
people's opinions on what I'm naming my kid.
People already have opinions. And what if they
say no? You're like, okay, let me go back home
and think about this again. I guess. I'll make
another appointment in three weeks from now.
Something like that. Yeah, that's interesting.
Okay, next we have in Ecuador. In rural areas,
a father gives his wife a shirt that's damp from
his sweat after a hard day's work while she's
in labor. Gross. That's the last thing I want.
Which folklore says will give her strength. It's
also common for parents to talk to baby inside
mom's belly and ask her for an easy delivery.
After the birth, mom and baby are carefully shielded
from sunlight, which like we were just talking
about, that seems weird to me. Like I want to
like go see the sun. I want the sunlight. But
carefully shielded from sunlight. And if like
the baby's jaundice is not like a really healthy
thing. Even inside the house where a canopy is
hung over the bed. Moms are given a bath with
herbs, perfume, and a cup of milk or rose petals
to mark their re -entry into everyday world.
Interesting. I think it's really interesting
to hear these cultural norms or traditions. Hearing
the bath thing, is it right postpartum? Because
at least in the U .S., you're not allowed to
take a bath or go in a hot tub for six weeks
postpartum. Does it not say? It sounds like it's
like after a period of time. Okay. Okay. That's
interesting. Oh, yeah. It's after a 40 -day period.
Oh, okay. Okay. Never mind. Yeah. Got it. Okay.
This was one of the ones that... I thought is
craziest, mostly because I would hate it. So
in Japan, well, there's a bunch of information
here, but so in Japan, most moms aim to deliver
their babies natural sans painkillers as an ancient
belief that stems from the Buddhist belief that
labor pains must be endured as a test to prepare
for difficulties of motherhood, which I thought
that was super interesting. That is an interesting
perspective. Yeah, and even as a mom, like, I
gave... birth naturally both times and I never
even thought about it that way yeah I kind of
like that perspective yeah that is cool um so
I thought that was super interesting fathers
aren't allowed in the delivery room unless they've
taken a prenatal class with the mom okay which
like I don't like that being a like a rule but
that's smart yeah that is smart But, yeah, how
sad would it be, though, if he's just like, I
missed my prenatal class and now I can't be there
for your natural birth. Yeah, I would be pissed.
But, like, it makes sense. I mean, that's one
of the number one recommendations I give first
time pregnant moms. Like, take a prenatal class
with your husband. Yeah. Okay, this is the part
that I'm like, nope, absolutely not. After baby
arrives, the new mom traditionally stays at her
parents' home for at least a month and rests
in bed for 21 days to recuperate and bond with
baby. I can get done with this part while family
members pitch in with chores. During this period,
friends visit and eat the celebratory red rice
and red bean dish. Yeah. I was like, I don't
want to move back in. I like my parents. Don't
want to move back in with them. Yeah. Especially
postpartum. Appreciate the help. Also would like
to sleep in my own bed. yes yeah use my own bathroom
yep especially postpartum like yeah that can
be rough and but if people want to come over
and do chores i'll accept that open to it yeah
and then again the 21 day bed rest i'm sure that's
great like that has to be so good for your body
and everything but i feel like i would go crazy
i think like the reality of it is like i think
the u .s We're just more like go, go, go. And
that's like the expectation. I cannot imagine,
especially now having two kids, like first postpartum.
Yeah, that would be awesome. I think it would
still be hard for me. I'd get stir crazy. That's
just my personality. But with two kids, I think
I was like down on the ground, like playing with
Colt. The day after I got home from the hospital
or something like that. Like just because it's
so different. Like I just, I don't know. Yeah.
And I feel like second time there was a lot of
things I was like sad about. I was like, I want
to go do that with Lloyd. Like I simultaneously
want to like stay home and take a nap and just
like snuggle. And Stuart would be like, okay,
I'll go take Lloyd to like the children's museum.
But I want to go do that too. Yeah. So. Yeah,
that would be really hard. Yeah. Oh, gosh. Okay.
The Netherlands. So, though home births have
been trending in the U .S., Holland takes the
cake for the highest number of home births in
the Western world. Whoa. The Dutch embrace natural
childbirth, and their medical system reflects
that. Most expectant moms see a midwife and only
go to OBGYNs for high -risk pregnancies and complications.
Whoa. All pregnant women are required to pick
up a crumb pocket. Don't know what that is. I'm
sure I butchered that. We'll have to ask our
friends who live in the Netherlands. I'll call
them and have them tell me how to pronounce that.
That includes all the medical supplies needed
for a home birth. Wow. To announce a baby's birth,
parents place a stuffed stork in the window facing
the street so it looks like the stork just flew
in to make the delivery. That's cute. When guests
visit, the couple serves a traditional snack
called... I'm not going to try to pronounce it,
but it's called... Basically called biscuits
with mice. The mice are mini licorice pieces
covered in pink for girls or blue for boys. Okay.
That scared me at first. Yeah. Also, are they
making these themselves or is this like a store
-bought thing? Yeah. Because there are a couple
of these I don't... uh seems like a lot of work
for after just yeah there are a couple of these
where it's like and then family comes over and
has like this treat and i'm like i don't want
to be making things for other people when i just
had a baby at home really quick and then let
me whip up some biscuits yeah but i the stork
thing's cute but that is cute it feels weird
to me but i think mostly because like again with
american culture So we know some of our neighbors.
We don't know any of them super well, but they're
definitely not the first people I'm announcing
my pregnancy or my birth to. Yeah. Yes. So like
that's the thing that makes it weird, which I'm
sure if we were like in a different situation
where it's like our neighbors were our closest
friends. Yeah. Then that's like kind of a fun
way. I'm assuming that's kind of like the culture
there. It's a little bit different. Yeah. Yeah.
You live close to like your community and your
family potentially. So it seems it. Yeah, it's
interesting to hear, like, the, because I don't
know even what the U .S. traditions are. There's
not. Yeah, I mean, we have baby showers. Yes,
okay, that is, yeah. So it sounds like a couple
places, like, this next one, Brazil doesn't have
baby showers. I love a baby shower. Yeah, so
it's like we have baby showers. I feel like food
trains are kind of. Yes, that's a. Tradition,
but also not even, like. It's just more like
helpful. Yeah. Because we've even had a couple
of friends who've had kids and were like, oh,
is there going to be a meal train? Like, we'll
set it up for you. We'll sign up for it. Yeah.
They're like, what do you mean? Yeah. People
bring you food. They're like, we don't need that.
We're like, yes, you do. You'd be surprised.
You're going to want that. So, yeah, I guess
that's kind of an American tradition. Yeah. Other
than that, I mean, maybe like most families usually
come around to help. Yeah. Yeah. But I don't,
yeah, I would agree that we don't have like.
said i mean and i guess part of it is because
america is like a melting pot of people who've
come from so many different places yeah that's
fair that it's a little more like you maybe stick
with like your culture's traditions but then
when you're like me i'm like i'm just like a
mutt of all sorts of different yeah you know
at this point i'm just white yeah yes so i'm
like so am i supposed to Do Canadian, Scottish,
German, and Italian, and Polish, and use all
of those traditions? That's not how that's going
to go. Yes, you are. Okay. We'll figure out what
all of those are next, baby. Just the crumb packet
or whatever it was. Yeah. And the stork and all
the things. There we go. Okay. So the next one
is Brazil. and it's, they said, new moms miss
out on a lot of fun. Instead of being showered
with gifts when the baby is born, it's the opposite.
In Brazil, guests come to see the mother and
child, and she gives them a basket of presents
instead. No! They're small items like candy and
souvenirs, and she includes a note from the baby
thanking friends and family for visiting. So
it's like a goodie bag. Yeah. Goodie bag to take
home. Oh, gosh. Again, this just feels like so
much work. It does. I would hope those were prepared
before. Yeah, but even so, like the end of pregnancy,
that's not what I want to be doing. No, not at
all. Okay, that was the last four. Okay. birthing
traditions what do you perfect okay so i kind
of um i looked up a lot of info on maternity
leave um which i thought was interesting because
i feel like it showed that the u .s has zero
weeks paid federally there's no guaranteed maternity
leave at the federal level and other than the
u .s because i was like okay what other countries
also have zero weight zero weeks paid maternity
leave federally and some of these countries i
don't know if i can pronounce correctly okay
but like the only other countries were the marshall
islands micronesia palau papua new guinea naoru
naiu suriname and tonga and that's it okay my
thing at least multiple those are african countries
yes and and this is it also said According to
the World Policy Center report, most of these
are only small countries or mostly less developed
nations. So it's just like they don't maybe they
don't have like a federal level of deciding that.
Yeah. But other than that, like so like the UK
is up to 52 weeks leave is allowed, 39 being
paid. Germany, actually cut off my screenshot
on Germany, but also higher. France was around
16 weeks. Sweden was like 480 days, so over a
year. That's crazy. Norway is 49 weeks at 100
% pay. Bulgaria is 58 .6 weeks. not with full
pay Canada was up to 15 weeks, India 26 and Spain
was 16 weeks. And that's kind of like the list
that it gave me. But I just like it, I've always
been mind blown by the fact that maternity leave
is such a difficult thing for like the U S like,
thankfully. So this time around, actually for
both of my pregnancies, it was 12 weeks fully
paid maternity leave, but that was decided by.
the nonprofit, the church that I work for. And
they like had decided that it was like, I think
it was like four weeks was paid fully by the
church of maternity leave. And then the remainder
I had to apply for, um, FMLA. Yep. And then like
60 % of my pay came from that. And then 40 %
came from the church. They were like, they decided
to compensate. Yeah, they can. Yep. And then
for, for Michael to go on the other side of paternity
leave, He only got two weeks of paid paternity
leave. But with Cruz, he could take up to 12
weeks, but not at full pay. It ended up being
like 60 % of his pay. But I think it's mind -blowing
to me that there's states where fathers get nothing
or mothers, it's like you just have to use your
PTO. For us, I'm super lucky. Just I work for
a company that's like honestly a huge corporation.
And as much as I don't like working for a huge
corporation, there's definitely some benefits.
Yeah. Like the literal benefits. So, yes, like
we have really good health care options where
we could pick pretty much any insurance company
we want and pay as much or as little as we want.
And then maternity leave has been one of them
because they let me for both pregnancies. They
let me stack short term disability. and what
they call it like parent parental bonding leave
or family bonding leave or whatever um so they
let me stack those so there's 12 weeks of bonding
leave and then five weeks of short -term disability
got it that's like that's technically for like
physical recovery and then the bonding leave
on top of that um so like i'm super super grateful
for that and but again that's like That's a decision
my company's made. Yeah, that's something your
company's opted into. It's not federally. It's
funny because it's a worldwide company. So when
I got pregnant with Lloyd, I was like, do we
move to the UK so that I can get the year of
maternity leave? For reals. Yeah. But then Stuart,
his company offers no paid maternity leave. Wow.
So for Lloyd, he saved up his PTO and took two
weeks off using PTO. And then with Zeta. He used
the same state -funded leave that Michael used,
right? So it was like, again, it's partially
paid. It's not his full paycheck. And it's 12
weeks over the year, which that part is super
nice because I think he only took three weeks
off when Zeta was born. And at that point, he
was going stir -crazy and wanted to go back to
work anyways. But then like he took a couple
weeks off in the summer. He's going to take almost
the whole month of December off. Nice. So that
he still had some left. So it's like 12 weeks
over the first year of birth. And there have
been a couple of times when it's like, oh, he's
sick. So he's been able to like use that instead
of sick leave or something. Yeah. So, yeah. But
his company doesn't do anything. It's all been
the like state thing that Colorado offers. But
yeah, I know a lot of states don't offer that.
And this is new because it wasn't around when
Lloyd and Cole were born. 2025 is when it started.
yeah i don't know i just like was when i was
reading those like those numbers i was like just
mind blown about the fact that like i don't know
that the u .s was really the only country like
i've heard of some of these other countries like
papua new guinea but other than that like pretty
much every other country is some federal federal
mandated not mandated federal yeah paid leave
yeah um yeah there was one country when i was
looking No, I don't remember. And I don't have,
like, the screenshot. But there was one country
when I was looking that I saw that they had,
it was, like, 400 and something. Maybe it was,
like, 410. It was kind of a random number. But
let's just say it was 410 days allocated for,
like, the parents combined. And then 90 days,
like, specifically for each. So it's, like, Stuart
and I would both have a set aside 90 days. And
then there's, like. like 400 days total yeah
that so it's like he could take a week off and
i could take a week that's cool um which i thought
was a really interesting way to do it yeah i
was like for us i would probably take most of
it for sure but then like we could save some
so yeah you know stewart could take some extra
days off or whatever it would yeah but i thought
that was a really interesting way to do it like
hey this is for the family and like yes you both
have set like allocated this is for each of you
but So whatever makes most sense for the family,
which obviously usually is going to be mom staying
home. Yeah. If you're, especially if you're breastfeeding
or whatever. It's almost like a year of just
like solely the mom staying home, which I think
is so cool because I don't know. I like for me,
I understand like, so yeah, I took 12 weeks off.
I swear though, like going back to work was right
when that like four month, almost the four month
sleep regression hit. And it's like, I'm like,
of course it's right when I go back to work.
Yeah. And there's also just like adjustments
that happen, right? Because anytime there's a
change in routine for kids, even for as an adult,
when I have a change in routine, I'm like a little
bit thrown off and don't sleep as well or whatever.
Yeah. So. Yeah. Yeah. So I thought that was really
interesting. Okay. I looked up just. I think
I just looked up like parenting styles or traditions
around the world. So in France, they have what
they call the authoritative approach. So French
parenting is often characterized by the authoritative
style, which strikes a balance between discipline
and freedom. French parents are known for their
firm boundaries, particularly when it comes to
mealtime and manners. Children are expected to
join adult meals, eat what's given, and engage
in conversations. This approach teaches children
patience, appreciation for food, and social skills.
Yet within these boundaries, French children
are given considerable autonomy to explore, play,
fostering independence and confidence. Which
I actually really like just that elevator pitch
of a synopsis. Yeah, I mean, we feed our kids
whatever we eat. I'm not making two meals. I
know there are a lot of moms who do, and if that
works for you, that's fine, I guess, but I'm
not making two meals. I do not make two meals.
It does mean we adjust a lot of what we eat,
or I'll make, like, if I know something's going
to be spicy, I'll, like, take it out and then
add, you know, extra whatever. I would say we
try to err on, like, that. that side almost and
like that's the goal that is the goal successful
all the time is another story yeah yeah like
the the part that stuck out to me was like the
engaging in conversations which like i can i
think that is so so smart to try to to try to
teach your kids to engage in conversation obviously
depending on their age right and depending on
like what's appropriate what's appropriate yeah
i think there's times where it's like it's absolutely
okay for you to let your child down from the
table to go play while you have an adult conversation
with right whoever else is there like and they
can be independently playing and yeah stuff like
that but i do think it is smart like The hope
is I want to teach my kids when we go out to
eat, they can order their own food. I want to
teach them that type of communication with strangers
per se, but yeah, that was interesting. Yeah,
I know. Actually, the funny thing is the only
parenting book I read before Lloyd was born was
it's called Bringing Up Bebe, and it's an American
mom. Her husband, I don't remember if he's American
or he might be. um but they lived and raised
kids in france and so she just like what is french
parenting and comparing things and so obviously
she talks a lot about this um but there was a
lot of things like of course food is really important
so like how do you prevent picky eating like
one of the things is you have to try everything
yeah and i know for us one of the things i've
thought about is i'm like The thing people don't
like about picky eaters is they're not willing
to try things and they're rude. That's usually,
like, no one's really mad if someone has a preference.
But it's when someone's a brat about it, just
in general, whether they're an adult or a child.
So, like, that was one of the things I took from
that book is I'm like, oh, I just want my kids
to be able to try things and to be polite if
they don't like it. Like, you don't have to,
like, I don't like everything. So I'm not going
to expect you to. Yep. And what was one of the
other things that I thought of from that book?
One of the things they were talking about sweets
and just like how they handle sweets in general.
And so she said that it's pretty common for like
the family to like bake a cake or something all
together like once a week. And then they just
kind of eat it throughout the week and it's not
a big deal. But it's also like. it's a whole
thing right where it's like you're baking it
together and like that's part of the process
it's not just like oh you have a cake in the
house yeah but candy is pretty rare and when
they let their kids have candy at like a birthday
party or halloween they just kind of let their
kids eat as much as they want but it was really
interesting she was like because then kids learn
to control themselves instead of having someone
else tell them when they're done because eating
a ton of candy doesn't make you feel good like
no for anyone so then you start to like learn
as a young kid to be like oh actually eating
an entire bucket of candy makes me feel sick
so they don't do that as much which i thought
was super interesting because there's like i
think in america we feel like we have to control
it like yeah only have this much candy or sweets.
And then it turns into this like forbidden fruit
aspect. Yeah. So I thought that was super interesting.
That is very interesting. I would recommend that
book to anyone. It's just interesting and a very
different perspective. Yeah. That's cool. Um,
okay. What else do I have? So the collective
wisdom of African communities and many African
cultures, the proverb, it takes a village to
raise a child is taken to heart. Child rearing
is a communal effort with extended family and
neighbors all playing a role in the upbringing
of the children. The collective parenting style
emphasizes the importance of community, respect
for elders, and a strong sense of belonging.
Children learn from a wide array of adults, adult
figures, and peers, gaining a rich tapestry of
knowledge and experience. Which I do like that.
I do like that a lot. Yeah. Yeah, one of the
things Stuart and I have talked about with our
family is we're like, it's super cool that we
have like... with our parents and aunts and uncles,
everyone has like different sets of knowledge.
So like we can send our kids off, like we've
talked about homeschooling and we're like, we
could send our kids off with any of our parents
and they would learn a different skill set. Grandma's
going to teach you gardening and cooking and
Gina's going to teach you sewing and crocheting.
It's like your elective classes. Yeah. Maybe
Uncle Justin will teach you to fly a plane. We'll
see. Maybe. Maybe. Yeah, that's really cool.
I mean, we just chatted about It Takes a Village
in a couple episodes ago. So, yeah, that's cool
to hear the origin of it. Yeah. All right. The
academic rigor of South Korea. South Korean parents
place a high value on education and academic
success. The parenting style here leans towards
being more authoritarian with a strong emphasis
on structured learning and achievement. After
-school tutoring and study sessions are common,
reflecting the societal expectation for children
to excel academically. While this approach has
led to high educational attainment rates, it
also brings challenges such as stress and reduced
playtime in children. That's not, like, I don't
know. Part of it is the studies I'm seeing is,
like, kids need play for their brain to develop.
So I have a hard time with that one. Yes. Oh,
for sure. But I know it's, like, super traditional.
Yep. australia aussie parents tend to embody
more of a laid -back parenting style with a focus
on outdoor activities and allowing children to
take risks and be independent there's a strong
belief in the benefit of outdoor play for children's
physical and mental development australian parenting
encourages problem solving and resilience as
children navigate both social interactions and
the natural world around them i actually like
that a lot yeah we like if we won the lottery
and could just like do anything we would definitely
buy like a good chunk of property yes and have
like a smaller you know not like a tiny house
but we wouldn't build like a mansion or anything
but like reasonable sized house and then just
have like a bunch of land yeah just go play and
be yes yeah i think that's something that's like
so missing from oh for sure just like current
parenting and like yeah the amount of reels that
michael sends me like on a weekly basis that
it's like a reel of like a family that lives
in like you know in the middle of nowhere and
they just like live off the land and and it says
like is this too much to ask for well how how
do we make money but yeah so yeah maybe but i'm
like that is that is the ultimate dream for us
is to just like be able to live kind of like
off the land and live nowhere in the middle of
nowhere and let the kids just We'll go in on
it together. We'll start a cult. Yes. I love
it. Have our own. We'll just have like a hundred
acres and we'll split it and then we can meet
up for our homeschooling adventures. Perfect.
We might be super poor after that, but that's
okay. Hopefully this podcast will take off. Yeah.
But then we'll have a garden so we'll be able
to make our own food. Yes. We'll call it good.
That sounds like the dream, honestly. It'd be
so nice. I know. We had someone we knew growing,
I knew growing up, they had, like, not a full
-blown farm, but they had, like, goats and chickens
and, you know, kind of little homestead and just
so much property to run around. So nice. And
I was always so jealous. Yeah. The only thing
I can really think of, though, with that is,
like, how many ticks there are and how many bugs.
I'm, like, not a bug person. Not a bug person.
But then you have, like, chickens who eat bugs,
right? Yeah, that's true. A lot of bath times.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Know how to treat for tics
and stuff like that. It's fine. All right. The
respectful upbringing of Japan. Japanese parenting
is deeply rooted in the concept of respect, self
-discipline, and community harmony. From a young
age, Japanese children are taught to be mindful
of others, leading to a society that values order
and cooperation. Parents use positive reinforcement
rather than punishment to guide behavior. And
there is less direct supervision, encouraging
children to become self -reliant and responsible
members of society. That I think is super interesting,
too, because I was just thinking the other day
about, like, kind of how selfish we all are,
like, societally right now. So, like, having
the mindset of, like, hey, we're all supposed
to be, like, taking care of each other and, like,
working together. Like, we're all just, like,
living in our own little worlds. Is that what
you're? Kind of, yeah. Yeah. So I think that
was cool. That is interesting. Scandinavian countries,
such as Sweden and Norway, are renowned for their
permissive parenting style, which is characterized
by an emphasis on children's rights and equality.
Parents encourage their children to express their
opinions and make decisions fostering an environment
of mutual respect and understanding. This approach
also extends to... generous parental leave policies,
and state -supported child care systems, which
reflect the societal support of healthy work
-life balance and family life. Permissive. Interesting.
Yeah. I do think it's good to let kids ask questions.
Oh, for sure. I think we're kind of working away
from it now, but traditional American parenting
is kind of very authoritarian. authoritarian
authoritative something like that yeah uh where
like it's like well i'm the parent and i said
so so you're not allowed to ask questions yeah
which i know one of the things for me that i've
thought about is like well someday my kid is
going to be told to do something by someone who
doesn't care about them and i want them to be
able to ask questions respectfully and that starts
with them asking me questions and not being triggered
by it yeah no i feel like i totally was raised
with like the if i was like why why do i have
to do that it was the because i said so uh -huh
and that was just like the norm i don't know
and i'm i try i don't know i feel like colt's
not quite old enough to ask those questions yeah
we're definitely not quite there where i'm like
answering with a because i said so it's more
of just like I want to give him reasons of why
I'm expecting this of him. Yeah, we try to do
that as much as possible. We're not just telling
you not to touch the toaster oven because we're
not fun. It's because it's going to hurt you.
See, you touched it and you cried. Please don't
put that knife in the toaster oven. Exactly.
Okay, that was the last one I have for those.
Okay, the next thing I looked up was... So I
was curious about like the norm, the cultural
norm for families living in proximity to each
other. Just because like that's one thing that
I found has been difficult in this season for
us is not living close to family. So I was like,
you know, I'm curious like what what other countries
are like. So in East Asia, East Asia. Like China,
Korea, Japan, there's a strong cultural norm
toward proximity or even co -residents. So living
with multi -generational homes is what it says.
And the modern trend is that young adults move
to cities for work, but still prioritize living
near parents when possible. So I actually thought
that was really interesting. I was surprised
by that for East Asia, but it kind of, when you
talked about like the... birth traditions, like
when you talked about Japan and it was like 21
days living with your parents or whatever. I
was like, oh, that correlates with this. Okay,
South Asia. So India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Sri
Lanka. I think I said that right. Sri Lanka.
Sri Lanka. Is joint or extended family remains
like living with them remains common. And even
when nuclear families form. Living in the same
building or neighborhood as parents is typical.
So I thought that was interesting. Southeast
Asia's multi -generational households are common.
Adult children often stay close or live with
parents until marriage and sometimes after. Middle
East and North Africa, cultural norms emphasize
family closeness and obligation. Elder care is
the family's responsibility, not institutions.
And then women often move near the husband's
family after marriage. So that was interesting.
Sub -Saharan Africa, extended family proximity
is the norm. Obviously, you guys are picking
up on like... normal like what the norm is here
across these countries is that family proximity
is the norm Latin America same thing multi -generational
support adult children often live at home into
their late 20s or 30s Southern Europe very strong
norm for family proximity Eastern Europe extended
family support is the norm Okay, here's where
it gets interesting. Western Europe. So the UK,
France, Germany, Netherlands, and Scandinavia
is more individualistic. So living far from family
is the normal. Does it say what far means? It
does not. No. Because I also know, like... I
always think it's funny. There's like a funny
cultural difference in the UK. You'll hear people
be like, oh, I never see my parents. They live
really far away. And it's like, oh, it's a 45
minute drive. Yeah, that is interesting. I'll
go. I'll drive 45 minutes to go to a restaurant.
Yeah. Yeah. Like easily. Yeah. Yeah. When we
lived in California, the majority of our friends
lived like 45 minutes to an hour away. And this
was before we had kids. So it was like more normal.
But we would drive down to see them like three
times a week, probably. And it was just like
that was normal. So this is interesting about
Western Europe too, though, is that young adults
commonly move out early. in their late teens
or early 20s, and elderly parents often rely
on state systems rather than living with children.
And then North America, so U .S. and Canada,
strong emphasis on individual independence. Adult
children often move out for college or jobs,
sometimes across the country, and living near
parents is not an expectation. And I thought
that was just so interesting because I'm like,
I knew, I kind of knew that this was going to
be the answer going into it. That just living
in close proximity to family is not, it's, I
mean, it's common, but it's not super common.
Right. It's like when you hear that someone lives
in like, you guys don't live in the same state
as family. And that's not like. I mean, obviously
I knew that you moved here, but if you just like
told me that it wouldn't shock me because we
also have lots of other friends who it's like,
oh, we don't have family close by or like we
moved away from family for like these reasons,
you know, and it can be as simple as like a job
or cost of living or something like that. Yeah.
Yeah. So, yeah, it's definitely like it's not
uncommon to live near family, but it's also just
as not. Yeah, just as common to live away from
family. Yeah, yeah. So then I did further research
because I was like, hmm, I'm interested now for,
like, okay, for countries and stuff that live
in close proximity to family, does that increase
the stay -at -home mom rate? Because there's,
like, of the support. And it's interesting because
I feel like the research that I did, it kind
of, like, chose both so like it said yes but
also no so uh the question was is the stay -at
-home mom rate higher among families living close
to extended family is what i asked um chat gpt
and it says generally yes but the relationship
differs by region child care availability and
cultural expectations and so and then i was like
okay that's interesting like child care wise
because i was like well yeah if i live close
to family the child care availability for me
would be much higher yeah so would in my case
i feel like i would have a higher likelihood
to then work outside of the home like i i would
feel more okay with it knowing that like sure
well and then there's not paying for child care
maybe as much yeah then there's also the financial
piece because i know multiple families who they're
like well we would both be working except for
one of our entire paychecks was going to go to
child care so it wasn't worth it so i stayed
home yeah whereas if you again have free or lower
child care you know you're not paying your parents
or aunt or uncle or whoever as much yeah It's
interesting, though, because like for the U .S.,
it says mothers who live near their own parents
or in -laws are more likely to leave the workforce
after childbirth if the family culture is traditional.
And that was interesting, too, because it was
like talking about traditional versus. Yeah.
Yeah. It's interesting, but it kind of makes
sense to me because I was thinking I don't even
know how I got on this like. Oh, I was thinking
about how there are the whole attitude of like,
I need a break from my kids and how some people
are super negative about that. Like, who needs
a break from their kids? I don't need a break
from my kids. And I think what it boils down
to is honestly two things. And one is remembering
that you're someone outside of being a mom. And
then, yeah, I think the whole concept of wanting
a break from your kids kind of boils down to
two things. wanting to remember you're someone
outside of being a mom and wanting a break from
not your kids but the responsibility whereas
like yeah especially when you're a stay -at -home
mom a lot of times it's like oh I'm constantly
doing laundry and changing diapers and cleaning
up accidents and making meals and the fun stuff
gets kind of like it disappears in the midst
of that whereas like if you get to take a break
from the responsibility to just have fun yeah
You're like, oh yeah, being a mom's fun. I forgot.
And so I think like if you're close to family
as a stay -at -home mom, then that makes it easier.
Yeah. Right. Where you can be like, oh, I'm going
to call grandma so I can go just get my nails
done or, you know, go to a mom group or I don't
know, do something to remind myself that I'm
someone who's not just a mom, but like I'm a
human being outside of just being a mobile life
support. unit and also sometimes that means that
like i can just have fun and there might be someone
else who's at least like helping carry the burden
a little bit more that's not just my spouse because
sometimes like you need some i mean i think more
often than we admit we need support outside of
just our spouse and second parent to yeah to
just survive and get things done yeah that's
so true i think of like i don't know whenever
like we have a fairly normal we do the same routine
every week kind of but when when we get to have
like glimpses of like like i'm thinking of like
now we're getting into the christmas season like
oh like we're gonna go do a fun like i don't
know go to look at christmas lights like that
is a fun parenting moment where it's not like
yeah there's i don't know the responsibility's
still there obviously to take care of your children
right but when it's like a different experience
i guess it's yeah When you get to like play and
do the things that aren't just mundane and aren't
solely responsibility. I think that's like the
big thing is like making meals and I enjoy cooking,
but like at this point it's like I'm getting
dinner on the table before everyone has a tantrum
and starts crying, including myself. And like,
so that makes cooking not fun anymore because
it's like, this is just getting something done.
So I think when activities become just. responsibility
and the fun gets removed then it like you end
up getting resentful and frustrated and that's
when you're like i need a break from this yes
um but when you have the chance to like kind
of balance it out yeah then it's like you get
to have fun and yeah if i can even say like because
we do have family close by like y 'all know that
and that does make it a lot easier yeah i feel
like oh i I don't know. Like we just need help
with this one thing. Yeah. You just need to do
one thing. Can you watch? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I
thought, um, so I looked up, I was like, I need
some actual like data here. And this is it. It
kind of goes in a different direction here, but
it says a national Bureau of economic research
found that around 25 % of women who live within
25 miles of their mothers get work related childcare
from them versus only. about 4 .2 % for women
who live more than 25 miles away. I thought that
was interesting of like, oh, well, if you live
close, like within 25 miles of your mom, you're
more likely to use that as childcare versus,
which I'm like, oh, that makes sense. The same
study reports that married women with kids under
12 are four to 10 % more likely to work if they
live near their mother or mother -in -law. And
I'm like, okay, that makes sense because, yeah,
it's just like the access to childcare situation.
And it's just, it's really hard to leave your
kid. Yeah. I think even if you have a job that
you love and you're passionate about, that little
of a kid is, they're hard to leave because they
need you in a way that even someone who's, you
know, a grandma can't necessarily provide. Yeah.
And the convenience of like pumping and doing
all those things is just, yeah it's much harder
yeah so the interpretation from that study it
says proximity to a parent strongly supports
child care and that increased child care support
correlates with higher maternal labor labor force
participation not more stay -at -home moms yeah
Well, that's kind of interesting. So I feel like
this, the whole like study, it kind of like shows,
but I don't know. It showed a little bit of both,
but you really have no answers. So other than
you want to live near family, I guess. Yeah.
Yeah. So that was interesting. That's kind of
all the research I did. So you didn't have anything
else, right? Nope. Okay. So then the last thing
that I looked up is kind of going down the line
a little bit is coming of age traditions. I feel
like, I mean, We don't not have them in America.
We have, like, sweet 16 parties and 21st birthdays,
but we don't have, like, a thing. Yeah. You know,
which I think was really interesting. So, of
course, the Jewish coming of age tradition, most
people probably know, is the bar bat mitzvah
is at age 12 or 13 in order to demonstrate their
commitment to their faith and recognize they
are now responsible for following Jewish law
after a religious ceremony and a receptionist
typically ensues. To celebrate the young person's
hard work and accomplishments. Then the... I
can't pronounce this. Should have looked this
up first. Satremaua. Okay. Coming of age tradition
is the Brazilian Amazon young boys belonging
to an indigenous tribe. So that's the tribe name
that I can't pronounce. To mark their coming
of age when they turn 13. The tradition goes
as... So they search in the jungle for bullet
ants, which are sedated by a leader who submerges
them in an herbal solution. The ants are weaved
into gloves with the stingers pointed outwards.
An hour or so later, the ants wake up angrier
than ever, and the initiation begins. Each boy
has to wear the gloves for 10 minutes, enduring
the pain. demonstrates the boy's readiness for
manhood. So if you cry out as doing so would
demonstrate weakness. Each boy will eventually
wear the gloves 20 times over the span of several
months before the initiation is complete. 20
times? That's crazy. Dearest. That sounds awful.
Yeah, that's a less fun tradition. Yeah, that
does not sound like a party. Amish coming of
age tradition is... rump spring do you know how
to pronounce this rump spring uh i nope i know
i'm pronouncing that wrong but it's it marks
the time when you when you turn 16 and they're
able to enjoy unsupervised weekends away from
this family during this time they are encouraged
to enjoy whatever pleasure they like Be that
modern clothing or alcohol, the purpose of this
period is to allow Amish youth the opportunity
to see and experience the world beyond their
culture and upbringing. In this way, returning
to their community and the way of life thus is
entirely their choice. Those who return are then
baptized and become committed members of the
Amish church and community. And then Hispanic
tradition is Quintanillas, which is another.
So it's at 15 and it typically begins with a
Catholic mass. and then it's a party nice and
then this says the american tradition is the
sweet 16 i don't know if i would consider it
like a coming of age tradition yeah i don't i'm
i was trying to think while you're talking about
these i'm like what is the coming of age thing
yeah and i was like for women is it like when
you get your period kind of yeah yeah yeah i
guess it would be 16 maybe that's like the birthday
that's like celebrated the most kind of like
teenage years and then we have the inuit coming
of age tradition in the north baffin island north
in north baffin island inuit boys have traditionally
gone out into the wilderness with their fathers
between the ages of 11 and 12 to test their hunting
skills and acclimate to the harsh arctic weather
As part of the tradition, a shaman would be called
to open the lines of communication between men
and animals. Nowadays, however, the tradition
has been extended to young girls as well as out
camps are established away from the community
in order for the traditional skills to be passed
down and practiced by young men and women. Coming
of age tradition. We should have looked up all
these pronunciations before I started. I'm so
sorry. I think this makes it more entertaining.
Okay, hopefully. Coming of age tradition land
divers. Bungie enthusiast. That's bungie. Please
keep that in there, Stuart. Bungie enthusiasts
will enjoy this. Vanatu, a small island nation
in the middle of the South Pacific, young boys...
come of age by jumping off a 98 -foot -tall tower
with a bungee -like vine tied to their ankles,
just barely preventing them from hitting the
ground. I don't like the bungee -like vine. I
want it to be a bungee. I already don't want
to go bungee jumping with this to make it worse.
Just barely preventing them from hitting the
ground. The catch, unlike a bungee cord, the
vine lacks elasticity, so it's nothing like a
bungee cord. So it just, like, you hope that
it doesn't break at the top? I guess. And a slight
miscalculation in the vine's length could lead
to broken bones or death. Or, yeah, absolutely.
Boys initially begin jumping at around seven
or eight, although they are permitted to jump
from a shorter tower. Well, yeah. In their first
lives, their mothers will hold an item representing
their childhood, and after the jump, the item
will be thrown away, symbolizing the end of childhood.
If I was that mom, I'd be like, I don't know.
I'm throwing this away. Whatever it is. That
would be so sad. Yeah. As boys grow older, they
will jump from taller towers demonstrating their
manliness to the crowd. I just imagine, because
it says no elasticity, that this, like, imagine
when they reach, like, the end. It's like, it's,
I don't know. That's terrifying. Usually with
bungeeing, it's like, oh, you're kind of bouncing.
Yeah. This is just like whiplash. Oh, gosh. I
don't think I could do that as a mom. No. I'd
be like, my child will not be partaking in this
tradition. Yeah. Sounds dangerous. All right.
In Japan, the second Monday of January marks
a special day, the day in which 20 -year -olds
get to dress up in their finest traditional attire,
attend a ceremony in local city offices, receive
gifts, and party to their heart's content among
friends and family. This is their coming -of
-age festival, otherwise known as... shinjin
no hai this tradition started nearly 1200 years
ago and recognizes the age when the japanese
believe youth become a mature contributing member
of society it's also when you get to vote and
drink okay that's the last one that's interesting
yeah it's interesting to hear all the different
norms and traditions and i just feel like the
u .s is so like lacking in those areas and not
that i don't know not that that's necessarily
a bad thing i just it's cool to to hear those
different yeah things and i don't know it seems
like there's more like investment intentionality
importance towards like motherhood and like raising
your kids and for the u .s i feel like it's just
kind of like a free -for -all yeah in a sense
again i think like there's it's it's a level
of like people have come from so many different
cultures and then we've come from like such a
mess of mess is the wrong word but just like
combination of different things that like traditions
have been lost yeah and so then it's like oh
what traditions do we even do yeah yeah yeah
i do i did remember i have the other thing that
i actually i didn't even really look into this
Weirdly, this came up on my Instagram before
we even talked about it. Like the day or two
before we talked about doing this episode, I
saw this and liked it. So I was able to go back
and find it. There's nothing worse than when
you can't find the post that you're looking for.
But it has to do with baby sleep. So Japan has
the lowest SIDS rate in the world. Okay. It's
0 .2 per 1 ,000 births. I don't know who's the
highest, but it says that America is 0 .5. per
1 ,000 births. So when Japanese mothers were
asked, when did your baby start sleeping through
the night, they didn't understand the question.
So some of the things that, let me see if I can
find her account so I can actually give credit.
All right, so it's Ilsa Grace Sleep is the handle.
So some of the things she found is 70 % of Japanese
infants and toddlers are co -sleeping with their
parents. Night waking isn't considered a problem.
whether breastfeeding, formula feeding, or mixed
feeding. Co -sleeping is considered tradition
with mother, baby, and father, and it's meant
to promote feelings of security, and sleep training
isn't even a concept. And then I think I found
some more for other cultures. Same account. She
said she asked mothers in 15 countries how they
put their babies to sleep. So Ghana. I nurse
my baby to sleep, always have. Why would I not
help them fall asleep? So these are all quotes.
Japan, baby falls asleep, nursing or being held,
then sleeps next to me. Tanzania, the baby stays
with me until they fall asleep, usually nursing,
then we sleep together. Italy, I rock or nurse
until asleep. Sometimes my husband holds the
baby. We don't leave them alone to fall asleep.
That would be strange. and then some more things
she said she learned finland bed sharing is normal
till 6 to 12 months night feeds expected until
9 plus months babies will often nap outside Okay,
I've seen that before. Have you heard that one?
Yeah. Yeah, there's like a term for it, like
napping in the cold. Yeah, and they're like,
have you seen the videos? And they're like all
bundled up. Yes, yeah. Germany, sleep training
is a big no -no. Bed sharing is the norm. And
they don't follow strict schedules. Tanzania,
they say we don't have the culture to sleep away
from our babies. We never worry if they sleep
that much. Turkey, late bedtimes, no scheduled
naps. I don't, I need like a little bit of, I
know when nap time's good. Yeah, yeah. No scheduled
nap. Ecuador, bed sharing is common. Babies are
held and rocked to sleep late bedtimes like 9
or 10 p .m. Again, I need a little bit of like.
I need a little bit of me time. I also get up
at 6 a .m. every day. Yeah, there's no me time
with a 10 p .m. bedtime. India, people judge
you for putting your newborn in a crib. No concept
of sleep training. Indonesia, it's normal to
rock, nurse, and snuggle babies to sleep. Norway,
babies nap outside wrapped in wool. Italy, there's
no stigma around bed sharing. Night wakings are
a part of parental life. Switzerland, I only
know of one woman who admits to sleep training.
Spain, late bedtimes, like 10 or 11 p .m. But
also, that's culture there. They have dinner
at like 9 or 10 p .m., I think. And bed sharing
is encouraged. In Zimbabwe, babies always slept
next to mom. Wow. So I just thought that was
all super interesting. So pretty much co -sleeping
in every single one of those countries. Yeah,
it's just, it's us. It's we're the weird ones,
I think. Yeah, which honestly, like, I think
I could co -sleep longer if we had, like, a different
bed situation. Yeah. And, like, Zeta, I had to,
like, physically hold her. So that was a little
bit of an issue. Yep. But. I'm like, I will nurse
to sleep until it doesn't work for us anymore,
which I think I've talked about this, where it's
like, we worked away from nursing to sleep, and
then she got sick and she was teething, and I
was like, no. I'm not doing this anymore. Then
I also think about it in terms of what do I want
as an adult? I sleep better when Stuart's next
to me than when he went out of town for a weekend.
When you're alone. I didn't not sleep, but I
definitely didn't sleep as well as when... Yep.
I know he's home and he's next to me. Yeah. Yep.
We're just like made for, I don't know, biblically,
we're like made to be with each other. Yeah.
And so originally when I first had Cole, I was
like, no co -sleeping, like the risk is too high.
Which is interesting, again, with Japan having
the lowest rate of SIDS. Yeah. They're pretty
much like we wouldn't do anything other than
like, what are you talking about? Yeah. Of course
we're co -sleeping. Yes. Yeah. And so that is
really interesting to me. I always was like super
against it until it was like the only thing that
we could do to sleep. Yeah. And so now it's just
like the norm for us. And moms, you got to find
out. what the norm is for you yeah what works
for yeah your babies yeah exactly so very interesting
yeah yeah i liked this one yeah this is yeah
yeah if you are like a mom from someplace else
yeah whether it's like you grew up someplace
else or and you're now in america or you're listening
from a different country like i will try to post
some stuff and yeah comment let us know i'm yeah
i'm just more interested in what like different
traditions are and stuff like that it's really
cool to hear so like I said the book I read on
French parenting I thought was super interesting
because there was a bunch of stuff where I'm
like 100 % do not agree with that like not taking
this but then there were a bunch of things I
was like oh I would never have thought about
this growing up in the American culture that
I did but I like this so I'm going to take this
and I don't think any country or culture or anything
is like we have it 100 % right nailed it great
But like learning from other cultures is really
fun to go like, oh, okay, like this makes sense
to me and I understand this. So I'm going to
take these pieces and leave those and all that.
Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, let us know what you
guys think. We'd love to hear more of any info
you guys know that maybe we didn't talk about
today. Okay, should we hop into our wins of the
week? So my win is the same day as my mom moment
when Lloyd broke down crying. Oh, yes. Okay.
And that's not just the duality of motherhood.
Yeah. Oh, for sure. So it's literally like the
same trip to the park. Oh. So within an hour.
Okay. So we obviously calmed down from the slide
incident. And then he went down all the slides
like a million times. at this playground there's
one set of slides that's like three in a row
so you can go down at the same time and he had
been running up the playground without me and
doing great and then at one point he like starts
to climb up and he goes mom go upstairs i was
like oh like yeah i'll go up on the playground
with you buddy and then he like runs over to
the slides that are three in a row it's like
mom goes down slide and he just like sat down
like we sat down on the slides next to each other
and he just wanted to go down slides together
cute want to do that like three or four times
and he like specifically requested it which was
that's so sweet and i was like okay so i guess
i'm not failing as a mother no like he got over
the trauma from the first slide and already forgotten
yep But it was just so sweet and so fun. So fun.
Okay, my win. So we were in California last week.
And so my stepdad, he's a garbage man. And Colt
is obsessed with garbage trucks right now. He's
Colt's hero. Yes. Oh, absolutely. And I think,
like, so originally this love of trash trucks
came from the fact that his papa is a garbage
man. And so we've just kind of like emphasized
it. Like second birthday party was a trash truck
party. He like, I don't know. He has lots of
shirts that are trash truck. We always look for
the trash truck on Fridays when it comes. Like,
but when we were out in California, it lined
up with the, so my stepdad picks up his own trash
on Thursday mornings. And so we like. drove up
to his house and met him there when he was going
to pick up his trash so that colt was able to
go into the trash truck and like help him dump
the trash and then like honk the horn and stuff
and it i swear that was like the best moment
of colt's life i mean i feel like that would
be fun for me yes like yeah 29 year old woman
like i would still be like that's fun but for
a two -year -old boy that's oh my gosh it was
the best day of his life and now papa he calls
him trash truck papa because he's got another
papa too so like we gotta differentiate slightly
let's get out of papa meatball so papa meatball
Did he eat a lot of meatballs? He's Italian.
Okay, okay, okay. But now, like, everything,
like, he's, he, like, ruminates on stories. And
so he's, like, talked about that story a bajillion
times and, like, dumping the trash. And it was
funny because he, like, he would dump the trash
and then, like, bring the can back down and then
just, like, dump it again. So that poor trash
can was dumped, like, 37 times. Of course. But,
uh, it just was like, it was the sweetest moment.
Like I could tell Colt was having the best time.
My stepdad was having the best time and that
it just was really sweet. That's so fun. Yeah.
Yeah. So that was my win. I love it. Well, thanks
guys for tuning in to, uh, this episode all about
differences in parenting across the world. So
we had fun with this one. Yeah, it was really
fun. Let us know what you think. Follow us on
Instagram at no manual mom cast, no manual podcast.
Yeah. No manual podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There
it is. No manual podcast. And we'll see you guys
next week. We'll see you next week. Well, that's
enough oversharing for today. If you enjoyed
hanging out with us, hit subscribe so you don't
miss the next round of chaos. And if you're listening
while hiding in the bathroom from your kids,
no judgment. We see you. Thanks for joining us
on No Manual Momcast, where motherhood is messy.
At least we can laugh about it together.