motherhood where sleep is a rumor and laundry
is eternal and somehow we're supposed to be raising
tiny humans through it all we're here to laugh
at the chaos cry when necessary and remind you
that none of us actually know what we're doing
this is no manual a mom cast your mom friend
group chat but with microphones welcome back
to no manual mom cast Well, this week is Thanksgiving,
and I realized a while ago we're really bad at
acknowledging holidays. So happy Thanksgiving!
So happy Thanksgiving! But yeah, happy Thanksgiving
before we get started. Grateful for you guys
as listeners. Grateful for our families. Hopefully
you can get some good family time this week.
Yeah. Well, welcome back, everyone. Today, we
thought we would just do kind of like, I guess,
a check -in on... Where we're at, just we both
have two -year -olds and ZZ's just about nine
months. Chris is almost eight months. Yeah. 202.
Yep. Just kind of talking like how we're doing
and maybe make you feel less alone if you're
in a similar season of not feeling crazy. Yep.
But before we get started on that, do you want
to start with your mom moment? I would love to.
So I... started kind of telling you about this
before recording but then I was like you know
what I'm not gonna tell you because I'm just
gonna save it for this so this was Wednesday
today is Friday when we're recording this so
this is was this last Wednesday so two days ago
and Wednesdays are my long parent it's like solo
parenting days because Michael has youth group
on Wednesday nights and this one was specifically
long because the first uh Wednesday of the month
they do a an event called rally it's like um
a big, large student event that they hold for
all students from all campuses at our church.
So Michael usually has to go into work a little
bit earlier. And then he's usually there until
like 11, 1130 at night cleaning. So it's just
a long, long day. And so we kind of had had a
rough morning. Colt did not sleep well the night
before. And so he was just like super whiny.
Like everything was just like, eh. And we have
those days. Yeah. And I'm like, I just like that.
I know that he's too. I do. I just get really
annoyed sometimes when it's like everything.
Like it's, it's, Oh, if mom does this, it's the
wrong thing. So he's whining about it. But if
I don't do it, then he's whining about it. Cause
I'm not doing it. So I'm like, I don't know what
the right thing to do. He'll say mom hug and
then run the other direction. So I'm like, do
you want to, do you want to hug or not? So yeah.
Right there with you. Yeah. Yeah. And so I finally
got Colt down for a nap and Cruz, I was, I was
getting him down for a nap and just got him down.
And I was like, okay, that like went really smooth.
And Colt's new thing right now is he like has
to fall asleep with his door open. And so I'm
like, yeah, I'm not, that's totally fine. And
then I usually close it after he falls asleep.
And he just was like coughing a ton. in his room
and i'm like i couldn't tell if he was like getting
sick or i don't know i kind of little kid in
november so he's always sick anyways yes and
i'm kind of like starting to think maybe as asthma
um so trying to like manage that whatever that
looks like um but finally got cruised to sleep
and i thought colt was asleep in there and he
was like coughing in his sleep and so i was like
okay i'm just You know what? I actually have
a minute. I'm just going to like I'm just going
to close my eyes for a second. So I like literally
just lay down and all of a sudden like Cole is
sitting up. He's coughing and then he starts
crying. I like look on the monitor and he's just
sitting there and I'm like, OK, I'm going to
go check on him. And I go in there and he had
thrown up all over himself and all over his bed.
Buddy. And he just was like. just sitting there
stunned and like kind of crying and it made me
so sad and so then obviously I did not get to
nap no and also Colt did not nap because then
I'm like taking his clothes off we get him in
the bath get the sheets off the bed in the wash
I ended up making him some like honey water he
calls it his honey wawa like when he's sick we'll
do like his version of tea Um, so I like, we
made that and then remade his bed with new sheets,
get him laying back down and Cruz is still asleep,
thankfully. And so I'm like, I let, I'm laying
with Colt. And then of course Cruz wakes up.
So then I'm like, I leave Colt in his room, go
get Cruz, try to get him back down to sleep,
get him back down, go back in with Colt. And
then at that point he just was like so awake
and he was like, go downstairs, go downstairs.
And so then I'm like, okay. Let's go downstairs.
You, I, but you have to lay on the couch and
we're just going to be calm. We're going to have
a calm body on the couch. And he's like, okay.
But then, you know, it doesn't turn out that
way. Never. Yeah. So then like we ended up going
to visit Michael at work, which is kind of, we've
been doing that on Wednesdays. It kind of breaks
up our day. We'll go and like visit him while
he's setting up for youth group. And Colt falls
asleep on the way there, which I knew was going
to happen. But of course this was at like 4 PM.
So, like, not ideal time for a nap. Right. Yeah.
And there's, like, a level of you're kind of
thankful because at least he'll have some sleep
so the evening won't be awful. But then you're
like, well, are you going to sleep ever tonight?
Yes. So, all that to say, he got, like, a 20
-minute power nap in. And then we had fun at
church, which was great. Get back home. And then,
like, the whining starts again. Dinner was just,
like, he didn't eat well. Thankfully, we'd already
done bath time earlier in the day because of
the throw up situation. Get him into bed, which
like putting both kids to bed on my own is not
like the most ideal, especially when both of
my kids are very high need sleeping kids right
now. And Colt like usually wants us to lay with
him until he falls asleep. And so my thing that
I've been doing right now when I. I'll put Colt
down and I tell him like, hey, buddy, mommy's
going to go put Cruz to sleep and then I will
come back and check on you. And it's usually
like 50 -50 where it's like he's like, okay,
mama, or it's not okay. Tonight was a that's
not okay situation. Like you need to stay with
me and like just go put Cruz down and leave Cruz.
Cruz doesn't need you. No. And so obviously Cruz
needed me. So I like I had to leave Colt in there.
crying you're doing like the back and forth yes
and so i finally get cruised to sleep lay him
down go back in with colt laying with him and
colt is just like wide awake singing wheels on
the bus just all the things mama turn like i'll
like try to turn the other way so that i'm not
like giving him attention so that maybe he'll
calm down yeah i'll go turn around mom turn around
so then i turn around i'm like yes buddy and
he's like sing with me sing with me So demanding.
Yeah, he is a demanding boy. I love his confidence.
I do. And then Cruz woke up, so I had to leave
Colt in there. Then he starts crying again. It
starts the whole thing over. Get Cruz back asleep.
I swear I did this back and forth four times,
probably. And I felt like I was going to crash
out. I was like, I'm about to lose my mind. I
think by like the second time, I would have been
like, I'm going to let them both cry for five
minutes while I walk away because I'm going to
lose it. The hard part with Cruz, so Cruz still
sleeps in our bed. And when he wakes up, he'll
like sit up and he just starts crawling. And
so it's like, I got to get there quick or he's
going to crawl off the bed. And I will do like
the pillow barrier. But it only works so far.
Yeah. Yeah. And so it was I'm not even kidding.
Colt fell asleep for maybe 20 minutes and then
woke up coughing at one point again. So then
I had to go back in there again. And Michael
got home at 1115, I think. And I was in Colt's
room trying not to cry. And he was texting me
like, let's just switch because Colt was still
wide awake. At that point. And I was like, I
am literally going to lose my mind. So Michael
switched me. Michael ended up falling asleep
in there for like five hours. But I like went
downstairs and I just I had a full on meant to
be mental breakdown. And I was like, what was
that day? That was the hardest parenting day.
Every single time that. Stuart has, we both have
the same thing where it's like for you it's Wednesdays,
for me it's Thursdays, where it's like our long
day. Yeah. Dad is gone in the evening. That's
always the day something happens. Always. And
it's like, I think as a two -year -old, he's
testing every single boundary right now. And
it's always towards me. Oh, for sure. Yeah. Yeah,
definitely. I mean, Stuart gets it a little bit.
Yeah. And I mean, there is a level of like, I
know I spend more time with him or with Lloyd.
So there's more opportunity. But then, yeah,
it's definitely not the same for like me and
Stuart. Like the way he tests and the way he
like. Like the level of it. Yeah. I feel that
for sure. So, you know, that was my mom moment.
It was like not a fun day at all. Yeah. And there
was like little pieces of fun in it, but it was
just. exhausting yeah we have those days too
okay what about you so mine is a couple weeks
ago i shared that zeta was no longer nursing
to sleep and i'm here to report that that is
no longer true we're definitely back to nursing
to sleep every single time I mean, that reel
you sent me today, that was like a breastfeeding
mom that was like, I have a just a question for
all those that bottle feed or, you know, whether
it's breast milk or formula that feed their kids
not on demand. How do you do that? Yeah. I'm
like, that is so true. That's exact. Well, and
so Zeta is teething. She just had one come up
and I think she's cutting. another one if not
another two right now because she's just gonna
have a full head of teeth before she hits one
and she's been sick so i'm like there's just
no other option yeah i i and we tried um i mean
to be fair before when i was like we got to cut
this out she was nursing for like an hour at
a time yeah and i was like i can't do this because
i can't leave my two -year -old alone for an
hour like i'm fine leaving him on his own for
a few minutes at a time yeah but like 15 max.
And that's if I don't hear things going on downstairs.
Like, so it was just taking way too long. It
wasn't realistic. So at least we've cut that
down and she's like more normal nursing times
now. That's good. Um, but yeah, but still, I
mean, back to nursing the sleep and I, I honestly,
when you were talking about that in the first
place, I was like, I don't know how you do it
because nursing is such like my crutch that like,
yeah, if teething or if he's fussy or like just
needs to sleep, like literally nursing is just
my go -to and yeah. And it works every time.
It does. Yeah. So why not use it? Yeah. Yeah.
So we're back to nourishing the sleep. And that's
just, that's where we're at for pretty much every
nap. Yeah. Bedtime. All the things. Yep. So.
Yep. Hey, I do not judge you at all with that.
And we'll get back off of it someday when she's
not teething and sick. Yep. Great. You know,
whatever works for you. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well,
let's just hop right in. How are you doing? No,
overall, I feel like I'm good. There's definitely
things that I'm like, this is really hard. Yeah.
What's like the hard for you right now? So right
now, I think, I mean, other than having a job
and like, we've kind of talked about this. I
don't know how much we've talked about this on
Mike, but both of us work full -time jobs. Yeah.
You all know that. both of us would love to not
work full -time jobs yeah just like to be able
to spend time with our kids and i think that's
like one of the hardest it's elevating all the
hard things yeah i think is the big problem right
now where yeah it's like we have a hard day and
we can't just like go to the playground yeah
or get out of the house because mom has to answer
emails so i think that's like one of the hard
things what about you i'm like how real do we
want to get here i'm really struggling And I
think that this season has been extra hard for
me. Yes, work wise. I think emotionally, like
mentally, I think I'm just extremely tired. And
I think like work, yes, plays a part in all of
those areas. I think my exhaustion and my mental
exhaustion, sleep deprivation, all the things
is what. elevates everything for me and i'm not
saying like a one good night's sleep is gonna
fix it all for me for sure it's not but i yeah
i'm just struggling and i don't i feel it like
a lack of like i don't know how to fix it right
now yeah and i'm like yes everything is a season
i'm we're gonna go through ups and downs you
know um And yes, this is just the season we're
in. And like my kids are my everything. My kids
are amazing and everything I prayed for. And
I just I get so in my head about like, why am
I not feeling more gratitude towards that and
like soaking up the moment of that? Yeah. And
then I'm like, I get frustrated with myself that
I'm not like that. I'm not feeling that. And
I think I just I don't know how to fix things
right now. And I think I'm struggling. because
of that yeah that's super hard I think one of
the things for me right now is I have such a
love -hate relationship with the age two um and
so I think I've said this before where I try
really hard not to say the terrible twos yeah
mostly for my own mindset yeah we have terrible
days don't get me wrong we have days that are
awful yeah but I I don't want that to be like
the focus of my attitude towards this whole year
of Lloyd's life and then you know Zeta's life
and any future kids yeah but yeah and I say love
hate because there are certain things that are
so so sweet like Lloyd loves reading books and
there's a couple books that he's like kind of
memorized and so he like knows the words on the
page and you know you switch like green tractor
is one of them so I think we have some recordings
maybe I'll make Stuart put them in yeah like
the way he says green tractor is like just the
sweetest thing in the world and just like seeing
his personality start to like come out and i
think i don't know if i said this right now or
when we were recording earlier last night we
like all broke down in tears at the dinner table
by all i mean yeah me lloyd and zeta um and then
this morning lloyd was like mama's okay now which
is just like so sweet that like he noticed so
empathetic yeah which like love that and it's
like so fun to see and you know we're coming
up on holiday season i'm so excited to see like
lloyd loves his family for the past few weeks
he keeps asking to go to my in -laws house and
so finally we're like lloyd why do you want to
go to g -mon op pop's house and he just started
listing everyone in the family and it's like
Oh, you want family dinner. You like want everyone
to get together, which is so sweet. That is really
sweet. So like I love those moments and I love
the moments when we're like cuddling on the couch
and reading books and seeing his excitement over
everything Lightning McQueen right now. Yeah.
And then there's like this other side of it where,
like you said, testing boundaries. Super real.
For some reason, he started getting on the table
again. Like, we had this issue for a while where
he'd climb onto the kitchen table, and then that
stopped, and now he's started doing it again.
And, you know, try to tell him to get down, and
he just doesn't. I have to unplug the Xbox every
day because he'll just... Turn it on and off
and on and off and on. And I was like, we can't
afford to replace our Xbox right now. So we got
to unplug that. I also have to hide the remotes
because he's found that if he throws them, the
batteries fly out and he thinks it's really funny.
But then also we have a nine -month -old crawling
around who's for sure just going to grab the
battery and eat it. The other day he smacked
me in the face because I told him not to touch
my work computer. And so there's just like all
this stuff that's so hard. And I know it's developmentally
appropriate. Yeah. And I like tell myself that.
But then when you're in the moment. You're like,
why is my kid doing this? Yeah. It's just frustrating.
You're like, I just want you to get off the table.
I just want you to not pour out your water right
in front of me. Like, I just want you to like
behave the way I want you to behave. And then
there's like that guilt of like, oh. Well, like,
I guess I'm a terrible mom because I'm asking
my two -year -old to behave ways that he literally
doesn't know how to yet. Yeah. Yeah. That is
so true. I feel I can relate on every single
one of those levels of just it's such a hard
age with two. And, like, I heard someone call
it the terrific twos. And you have those moments,
too. It is really terrific. It really is. But
it's so true. They're testing every single one
of your boundaries and really kind of seeing
what they can and cannot do. Yeah. But then,
yeah, the other side of it is it is so sweet.
Like, the empathy. I feel like Colt is very empathetic.
Yeah. Like, anytime I sneeze, just, you okay,
Mama? You okay, Mama? Yeah, buddy. I'm okay.
Bless you, mama. That's so cute. And I'm like,
I want to remember these things and hold on to
them. And I want, I want to not take it for granted.
And I feel like I so often, I'm just like, I
just want this day to be over. And I hate that.
I don't want that mindset. And like, it's, I
mean, there's so many reels out there. I'm sure.
all of you listening have seen these reels of
like, when I'm 80, I want to go back to this
moment. Like, and it's just like you hugging
your little kid and playing with them. And I'm
like, yeah, like these really are just the best
days of our lives. And I'm like, so often in
my head, I'm like, this is such a hard season.
You know, I don't want to just, which it can
be both. I don't know. Yeah. A mom I follow on
Instagram, she. posted today actually um and
her son is i think he's also an august baby and
so he's right around our boy's age they were
in the car and she's like you okay buddy like
he was making some noise and he just like screams
no and then she's like i'm gonna miss this i'm
gonna miss this and just like for like two minutes
she's like i know someday i am going to miss
this It was just like so real. Like, yep, someday
I am going to miss this. But today is not that
day. Yeah, that is Colt's new thing. He goes,
no, mama. And I'm like, what? Come on, buddy.
You're not 15. Let's go. Lloyd says no to everything,
but it's just like random. Yeah. Like, do you
want to go to the playground? No. I'm like, that's
a lie. I know that you want to go to the playground
all the time. Yeah, that's so true. Do you? I
don't know. Do you feel like you are struggling
in any other area? Like for me, I feel like one
area I'm really lacking in is self -care. Do
you feel like there's anything like that that
you're like, oh, well, I feel like if I could
increase this or. I mean, I'm sure. Yes, I'm
sure self -care is like I probably don't feed
myself enough if I'm being really honest. Yeah,
it is super helpful. That I have to feed the
kids. Like, I know that sounds crazy, but it's
like, okay, if I'm going to make them breakfast
and lunch and dinner, then I also am just going
to make myself breakfast, lunch and dinner. Yeah.
But then, yeah, I probably like don't necessarily
eat as much as I should for each of those or
whatever. Yeah. It's too hard to just. Yeah.
Or I'm like, I don't really want to have breakfast
at 11 a .m. or I mean lunch at 11 a .m. Yeah.
But this is the time you're eating because you're
going to eat before your nap. And so I guess
this is when I'm going to. So I'm just eating
because I should right now, not because I'm hungry.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I think I'm bad at feeding
myself, which is weird because I'm like, that's
never been something I've been bad at before.
Mine's like the protein side of it. I think if
I could just get some more protein, maybe that
would be helpful. I mainly eat protein. A little
less Dutch Bros coffee and a little bit more.
I don't know. Yeah. Dr. Pepper probably shouldn't
be like my main. Your main liquid for the day.
But it is. Diet Coke. Yeah. Yeah. I think this,
I'm currently drinking a Diet Coke. I think this
is my third Diet Coke of the day. You know, you
do what you got to do. Yeah. Yeah. I think the
other thing, this is less like for myself, but
Zeta's growing up so fast. I don't know if you
feel that with Cruz. Yeah. I feel like she's
growing up way faster than Lloyd did. Yes. And
I mean, part of that is visually, like I said,
She, she'll be nine months this weekend and she
has eight teeth. That's crazy. Which is crazy.
Lloyd had like two teeth barely popping up at
this point. Yeah. So part of it is just like
visually, I feel like she, even though she's
still so tiny, she looks older. Yeah. But yeah,
just like every night that I put her down, I'm
like, what happened to my tiny little peanut
baby? Like she's. Full on crawling around. Yeah,
she's crawling and getting into things and. I
swear she's going to start talking any day. Yeah.
Like, I know this is super young, but there have
been a couple times where, like, no, she's definitely
mimicking the sounds we're making. Yep. Yep.
A hundred percent. Yep. Which, like, is so fun.
Mm -hmm. But, yeah, I feel like it's gone so
much faster. I completely agree. And that's really
tough. Yeah. I feel like with Cruz, he, I mean,
he's. the opposite side of the spectrum he's
a big boy and he's almost eight months just started
crawling but I feel like he was just so little
for just little for so little time I guess like
it I feel like it just this time it went by in
a blink of an eye yeah and I think it's because
like my focus wasn't entirely on him but also
on my toddler that it like, it feels like it
goes by so much quicker. Cause I'm not as attentive
to it maybe. Or it's like, I'm not as aware of
it. You just have other things going on. Whereas
with like with one child with when it was just
cool, it was like, he's my entire attention goes
to him. And I'm just like holding onto every
little moment. Whereas with cruise, it's like,
yeah, I'm holding on to every moment, but it
just goes by so much quicker. It feels like,
which makes me so sad. And like, I feel like
I just kind of missed it. And. Now he's, yeah,
literally pulling himself up on things and crawling
everywhere and starting to mimic. I swear it's
like just this last week, I'm like, it's not
a ton of things that he's mimicking, but like
if I start going, va, va, va, he'll do the same
thing. We were reading The Very Hungry Caterpillar
the other night for bed, and multiple times Stuart
said, and the, you know, the cat. caterpillar
was still hungry and zeta would go we're like
what the heck are did you just say hungry is
her first word gonna be hungry or lloyd says
all done for dinner and she has a noise that
sounds like all done yeah i'm like what what
is happening what happened and it like it just
makes me want to have more babies and like i'm
not ready i can't do this yeah but also it's
like I don't know. It's just gone by so quick
and it makes me sad. I feel the same. Well, I
have like mixed feelings on that too because
I have certain days where I'm like, I can't imagine
having any more kids. Like I'm so overwhelmed.
And then it's like bedtime hits and I'm like,
I can't imagine not having more kids. What like
hormonally is going on in our brains? I don't
know. What happens? It's like the motherly instinct
or I don't even know. But, yeah, I feel like
they're just growing up way too fast. Not only,
like, our young, you know, the youngest, the
babies. But, yeah, I feel like Colt is, like,
I was just looking at pictures of, like, when
Cruz was a newborn because I was like, oh, he
was so little. And then I'm like, oh, my gosh,
Colt was so little then, too. And I'm like, he
just, like, shot up in height. He's still, like,
he's our little guy, like. he's little for his
age and i'm like still like oh the pants he was
wearing then were so big on him and now they're
so little on him like yeah it's just crazy i
got laid out from his nap today and for some
reason he just looked so old like i don't know
what it was but i just like i picked him up and
then we like went in the bathroom and i looked
in the mirror i was like this what you're a kid
yeah you're not a toddler you're a full -grown
kid what happened yeah yeah i'm curious like
for our listeners that have like teenagers or
older like does that ever realization kind of
just like go away or is it like always you're
picturing because like for me with colt i'm like
i still picture him as like this little like
either a little baby or just like you know a
young toddler i'm like does that ever go away
or am i always just gonna like picture him as
like this little little boy Or, yeah, I just
have no clue. Yeah, I have no idea. I'm like,
does the grief just get stronger as we go? But
then it's also so exciting. Like, there have
been a few things. And that's actually second
baby. One of the things that's been super helpful
is when the, like, baby things are tough, now
it's like, oh, but, like, I see Lloyd now and
know what I have to look forward to is Zeta.
So it's like when I'm up at 3 a .m. again feeding
her, I'm like, oh. But someday like I'm going
to get to hear her little voice saying things
and her belly laugh and all of that. So like
that's super encouraging. There's so much to
look forward to. Yeah. So it's like it's fun
to have things to look forward to. And there
have been a few things like that recently where
I don't know. I got excited about playing board
games with. our kids like we did that a lot when
i was a kid it's just played all sorts of different
games and we stewart and i did that a lot when
we first got married too so we got married during
covid so we couldn't do anything yeah and we
have a ton of board games that are all in the
kids closet that we haven't touched in years
but i was like oh that's gonna be so fun in like
a few years when they actually care like actually
can understand and you know we can play Monopoly
and ticket to ride. Yes. That's going to be so
fun. But then I also don't want to like focus
on that and miss this moment. Yeah. Yeah. That
is so true. I'm really looking forward to those,
those types of things too with the boys and who
knows. Yeah. If we end up having more kids, it's
like you get to kind of walk through all of those
seasons altogether, which is fun also. Yeah.
Yeah. One of the things that. I super love right
now is now that Zeta is getting bigger and more
interactive, seeing her and Lloyd's relationship
is just like the sweetest, best thing in the
world. Like the amount of times I pull up their
camera because they're in the same bedroom and
they're like reaching across holding each other's
hands. Wait, that's so cute. It's the sweetest
thing. I didn't realize their beds were so close.
Yeah. Well, it's funny because all of the recommendations
everywhere is like keep them as far away as possible.
But with the layout of their room, it's just
like kind of not realistic. Yeah. So, yeah, their
beds are like. maybe six inches apart, and that's
probably being generous. That's so sweet. Yeah,
so Lloyd will, like, reach over and hold her
hand, and it's so sweet. That makes me want to
cry. Honestly, I think, like, having them close
together has worked out better for us. There
have been a few times when that has woken each
other up. Yeah. Which is not ideal, but overall,
like... I think it brings them both comfort that
they're like that close. Because Zeta, if she's
sleeping in there by herself, she's more likely
to wake up crying or upset. But if like it's
the nap time that they're both in there or waking
up for the day, she's way less likely to wake
up crying. She just like looks over and sees
her brother. And Lloyd's there. Do you do a blackout
room or what do you guys do? We like technically
have blackout curtains, but they don't cover
the window fully. Okay. So it's like some light
is let in on the sides and stuff. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah. Which I'm kind of okay with partially because
I realized I'm like, I don't want my kids to
be so sensitive that like if we go to someone's
house or if we go on vacation and they don't
have like our brand of blackout curtains that
it's going to turn into a thing. So like at my
parents' house, They don't have blackout curtains
in the room they sleep in. And, I mean, they
definitely nap worse at my parents' house, but
they nap. Like, it's not like they're skipping
naps altogether usually. Yeah. Most of the time.
Yeah. Okay, that is so sweet and makes me want
to cry, and I'm sure that makes you cry when
you see that on the monitor and stuff. It's the
sweetest thing in the whole world. And it makes...
the tough times. Like I definitely have. This
is why we're in this. This is why we're doing
this. Yeah. That's so sweet. Yeah. I completely
agree. Like now that Cruz is like a little bit
more interactive, I feel like, like he, Colt
can make Cruz laugh. Like. More than any of us
can. That's the same. With the simplest things,
Colt will just make a noise and Cruz will think
it's hilarious. It's the same. We can try to
make Zayna laugh. She'll laugh at some of our
stuff, but Lloyd is the person who makes her
laugh more than anyone. Yes. And that, I'm like,
this is everything I've dreamed of. This is worth
every late night. This is worth every tantrum.
All the difficult of having two kids is this
moment right here. you know this is not only
benefiting us but it's benefiting them and lloyd's
been super into giving her hugs yes which is
my favorite i'm like baby hug like yeah you can
give say does he give gentle hugs or is it like
sometimes it's like oh yeah sometimes we're like
i don't think she loves that right now buddy
um the other thing he really likes so What he
likes to do with us is what we call a running
hug, where we like sit on the floor and he comes
running and then like knocks us over. Yeah. And
I think he wants Zeta to do that to him because
there have been a couple of times he's like,
baby, stand up. So I'll like hold her up. And
then he like goes and gives her a hug and pulls
her on top of him. So I think he's like trying
to mimic that with them. doesn't really work
like what's happening that's funny but it's it's
super funny but it's so sweet yeah colt will
do like he's always been a big head butter so
now like we've he's kind of gotten out of the
phase of like just head butting everything like
when he's upset or now it's like a mom headbutt
and he'll like look at the couch and like headbutt
and i'm like yeah that's the safe like you can
headbutt the couch that's that's safe then he'll
like point to cruise headbutt and i'm like no
we don't headbutt we don't you gotta teach him
noggin Oh, yes. Noggin. Fin. Noggin. Just like
a gentle little headbutt. Yes. So we're trying
to not headbutt our brother. So we definitely
have moments of like, okay, more gentle. Gentle,
buddy. Gentle. gentle, but Cruz is a pretty,
I mean, he's like, he's a tank. So he's like,
I'm like, this is why he's a tank for moments
like this. Keep up with his big brother. Yes.
He's got to. So it's so fun. It is so fun. And
I'm like, I, yes, I feel like I'm struggling
so much in this season, like mentally. And just,
there's a lot going on with my family, uh, outside
of just like my, my direct family, but my parents
and stuff. So I feel like I, am just emotionally
kind of spent right now and i feel like i have
a good support system i do but it's like i just
i don't know what i need to change or what needs
to happen in order to like yeah i don't know
feel better other than just like this is just
the season i'm in yeah um and i would be interested
to hear from more veteran moms yeah like is it
just survival mode for a few years or is that
what it's like for everyone? Yeah. Or is it just
like, I know it's not just us, but is it like
a generational thing? Is there something we're
missing? Yeah. I do feel like that is like a
good question as far as generational. Like I
would be interested to hear from like our listeners
that are maybe empty nesters now that did you
feel like this is something you could get a handle
on when you were raising your kids or. Like,
was it just like the name of the game? Yeah.
Like, no, this is just like it's motherhood.
You just you're tired. You're exhausted. You're
maybe mentally not doing well. And it's just
like the season, you know, it's just is what
it is. Or is it like now kind of more prevalent
in this in this day and age? I don't know. Yeah.
Yeah. That would be really interesting to hear.
Mm hmm. So I don't know what I need to do. I
think I need to add in some more self -care pieces.
I think it would be helpful to have like a little
bit of me time away from the kids outside of
just going to work. Right. Which is like, for
me, that's like pretty much my only time away
from the kids is when I, other than like recording
this podcast every couple of weeks. Yeah. But
I pretty much, yeah, I go to go into the office
on Tuesdays and Thursdays and that's really my.
only time away from the kids yeah i had a night
away a couple nights ago and it was crazy and
just like yeah super rejuvenating and like i
think we talked about this on a different episode
where it like gets you back to neutral yeah and
also actually that day was this whole week has
just been a mess i guess it's daylight savings
yeah yeah we're recording this right after daylight
savings so that's probably a big part of it yeah
but Yeah. So in that whole day, it was super
helpful to be like, OK, I just have to make it
to four. And then like I have plans this evening,
so I don't have to worry about dinner. I don't
have to worry about bedtime. And I feel like
having that on like a somewhat regular basis.
Yeah. You know, it's like I don't want to be
like working for the weekend, so to speak. But
sometimes that is just helpful to be like, OK,
I have this to look forward to. Yeah. Whether
it's something like it doesn't have to be anything
big, just like. something to get away you know
yeah again a gross night of some kind or I don't
know yeah I've heard the term of like working
from rest not to rest yeah so like it's better
to like you were saying you're not like working
like just desiring for the weekend but you've
like you've re -energized from the weekend that
you can like now go into the week strong yeah
I know part of me, like, I think this is maybe
how I was raised and just feeling guilt, kind
of guilty, I guess, for like those moments away
from my kids. Like, like, I almost feel bad being
like, hey, Michael, can you do bedtime on your
own so that I can go hang out with a friend?
Sure. Like that. I almost feel bad and it's not
him like he does not make me feel bad for that
at all and he knows that I need that and that
I desire that but I think it's like just kind
of ingrained in me of like I feel bad I feel
like it's unfair for me to ask that because Stuart's
also working a full time job so then it's like
why why do I get so yeah I feel that too it's
just like it feels unfair and like something
i shouldn't ask for yeah or whatever but then
i also feel a little bit justified where i'm
like i do this like so yeah this thing i did
tuesday my aunt has season tickets to the opera
so i'm not like a huge opera person but she takes
me fun to all the shows and so it's like me and
my mom and my aunt and then her friend and so
this happens like quarterly and so i'm like okay
i can justify going now once a quarter it's like
kind of annoying because we have to leave super
early so we can like get to all the things on
time but so i do feel like that justification
a little bit like i don't do this often yeah
but then yeah it's like you just you've been
up since 5 30 this morning and working really
hard and now yeah you like you also don't get
a break yeah the hard part too is i forget who
i think it was michael that said this to me like
these are my kids too. Like I'm a parent too.
Like I was teasing Stuart when I left the other
night. Oh no, I was teasing him about tonight
because he made a joke about like, Oh dad night,
two nights in one week or something like that.
Yeah. Um, and I was like, yeah, are you going
to be on dad duty and babysit your kids? Because
that drives him crazy. These are my kids too.
Yeah. When he like goes out and someone like
makes a comment about, he's like, they're my
kids. What do you mean? Like they're my kids.
I'm a parent. That's all it is. Yeah. Yeah. I
think that it's hard for me to not feel that
guilt around it. And so I think I find myself
not planning things or not. desiring to want
to go out and do those things because I'm like
no I should be at home with my kids and yeah
for like for the benefit of my kids like oh if
they don't have one bedtime routine with mom
like that's gonna like drastically change their
lives no but like in my head that's kind of what
like yeah no I shouldn't go have fun because
I need to like put my kids to bed I also feel
I don't know if you feel this way almost like
i don't have the capacity to plan things yes
yeah where i might feel different if i had a
friend who's like hey like actually this is one
of the nice things about the opera the date is
picked i i just have to say if i'm showing up
or not like that's all i have to do sometimes
there's a little bit of like Oh, hey, Grandpa,
can you come watch the kids for, like, an hour
between when I leave and Stuart gets home? Something
like that. But that's, like, the most planning
I have to do. Yeah. It's, like, that and what
I have to wear. Yeah. And so I think that's one
of the reasons why that's, like, super nice versus,
like. trying to plan with a friend you're like
hey you want to get together tonight or yeah
you want to get together and then well i don't
have four saturdays from now right and like you
go back and forth on when you're both free and
then you have to decide where you want to go
and what you want to do like are we getting dinner
are we getting coffee are we getting drinks like
what is happening too overwhelming and it's just
it's a lot and i don't want to put that on someone
else but then i'm like there's only so much i
know i have in me for planning so then that i
think is a big part of why i'm like i don't even
like bother reaching out yeah yes that's so true
we should uh we should challenge ourselves just
to have a mom's night together like mom's night
out just we can have stewart and michael just
take all the kids honestly they could do it Yeah.
No, I feel that 100%. It's just like, it's just
too hard. And so then I just like going back
to the routine thing, we talked about this and
I think it was last week's episode. Like I find
myself not being able to get out of routine because
it's just, it's just too hard to break it. And
like our routine somewhat works, I guess sometimes,
but like. I just get too caught in it. Yeah.
It's like, it's chaotic, but it's a chaos. I
know. Exactly. Trying to mix it up. Exactly.
So I don't know. Self -care is a really hard
one for me and I know I need it. And I just,
I don't know if you guys can relate. Probably.
I feel like most moms can. I mean, hopefully
not. Hopefully everyone else is taking care of
themselves. Yeah. Maybe we sound crazy. I don't
know. I'm sure. Yeah. I'm sure no one else can
relate to us. Yeah. But love to hear what you
guys are doing to help navigate the hard seasons.
What's the thing you're like, is there anything
you feel like is thriving right now? Even if
it's something just like super tiny. I think
that we've been doing really well with. Yes,
we eat out probably a couple, maybe two times
a week. But we've been like, I've been able to
plan our meals pretty good. And I feel like we've
had pretty well balanced meals, I guess. That's
good. Like even like our breakfast, like you
fairly stay the same. We usually have like eggs
or egg bites. Colt loves egg bites, which are
freaking expensive. And so I'm like, I need to
make these at home. super easy to make they are
see i've made them once before and he didn't
like them so i'm like i need to like change the
recipe but yeah so our meals like breakfast will
usually be like eggs toast and a fruit um lunch
we'll do like turkey and cottage cheese some
type of fruit and then like a veggie so like
he likes snap peas or a pickle great dinners
we'll do like rice or potatoes usually of some
sort some chicken or steak and then like a veggie.
And I just think we, like I, we've been doing
pretty good at planning the meals out like that
for the past couple of weeks. And I think that
has like helped us save some money, I guess.
And also like we're eating a little bit healthier.
That's yeah. That's great. I think that's a good
example. A good one. I think generally. I wouldn't
say I'm thriving at this, but I've been doing
better about being patient. Good job. This isn't,
like, I mean, there are definitely days when
I'm, like, that's not true at all. But I'd say,
like, overall, I'm, like, going up on the scale
of, like. That's great. What have you done to,
like, help that? Okay, this is going to sound
like this is such a Christian response. But.
I have been reading my Bible daily. So we had
like the church had the like challenge thing,
which I didn't do most of it. But I did start
getting back into my habit of reading my Bible
every morning. That's awesome. And I have like,
I think that is the main correlation. That's
awesome. Yeah. Because there have been other
things where it's like sleep has been hit or
miss. Again, eating depends on the day. All sorts
of, everything else is, like, a variable right
now, I guess. And that's been, like, the one
thing that's been consistent. So, like, that's
such a churchy answer, but that is, like, the
only thing that's changed. Yeah, that's good.
And, again, this isn't, like, I am magically
this patient mother who never gets frustrated.
That's not at all true. I definitely, you know,
yell and respond poorly all the time. Yeah. But
I, like, feel my, like. I guess I've gotten better
at, like, seeing in the moment, like, okay, I
need to take a breath. Yeah. Or being able to,
like, not necessarily backpedal, but be like,
I'm sorry, Lloyd. Like, I just responded really
badly. Like, you know, mama's sorry. Mama shouldn't
have responded like that. Yeah. And I guess,
like, not let my, like, anger and rage get quite
the best of me. Yeah. That's good. Yeah. Not
the case all the time. That's awesome. Especially
depends on the time of day. Oh, for sure. Yeah,
I would say that's a great that's a great example.
Yeah. Have you like for me, I've found myself
like being OK with like needing to walk away
for a second. Yes. Rather than like snapping.
Yeah. For the most part, I am getting better
about that or being able to take a breath. It
also depends on like specifically what Lloyd
is doing. Yeah. For some reason, when he throws
the cat food. That is one of the things that
just like gets me every time. And I don't know
why that's the thing that makes me so mad. Maybe
it's because it like requires clean up, but it's
also like kind of annoying clean up. I don't
know. That's the one thing that gets me every
time. But she doesn't do it often anymore. He
went through like a little phase, but of course
he did it this week. on you know the week that
we're having a tough day yeah yeah oh gosh yeah
mine's whenever like colt will push crews over
or like try to purposefully hurt him yeah that's
what gets me so that's great that's a great example
of we're driving yeah you know we're it's one
step at a time yeah one little change at a time
Make the world of difference. Yeah. Yeah. But
yeah, I would love to hear from you guys. See
where you're at. Just a general check in. Would
love to. Maybe we can put up a question box and
just kind of get a general gauge on where everyone's
at and how everyone's feeling in the season.
And yeah. And see that we're all kind of, you
know, we can all relate to each other. Yeah.
Okay. Well, um, do we want to hop into our wins
of the week? Sure. So mine, anyone who knows
me super well knows I love Tom Petty, huge Tom
Petty fan. And this week we were, Lloyd was just,
we were listening to music. And so of course,
first like. Play Barbara Ann. We're like, okay,
we play Barbara Ann. Oh, yeah, we're big Barbara
Ann people, too. His next request is always Bye
Bye Bye by NSYNC. So, like, okay, Siri, play
Bye Bye Bye by NSYNC. I'm like, okay. And then
that played through, and then he goes, Tom Petty.
And he just requested Tom Petty. I was like,
oh. I'm so proud. Like, I've taught you well,
son. Yep. Now, so far, there are only two songs
he, like, recognizes as Tom Petty, which are
Free Fallen and Wildflowers, which are great.
So we're, you know, working on the whole discography
and, you know, making sure he knows all the songs.
But it was just so fun. I'm so proud. I love
it. And also so thankful that those are the songs
he's requesting. My son is requesting Justin
Bieber recently. Could be worse. Also so proud.
Okay, my win. So, Cruz started on solids, like,
I don't know, maybe a month ago. And hates everything
that we've given him. And we, like, with Colt,
we kind of did the same thing. Whereas, like,
we started off with, like, mashing everything
up. And then kind of, like, started the baby
-led weaning a little bit. With more like just
chunks of things and stuff. And Cruz only has
two teeth. So it's like Cole at this age probably
had eight -ish teeth. And Cruz only has two.
So it just makes me really nervous with like
chunks of things. But he's hated everything.
He's done like avocado, banana. What else have
we done? Obviously carrots. Like just normal.
things to start with but uh this last week we
had steak and so we just like handed him a chunk
of steak to just like non non and this kid went
to town on this steak i have a video of it i
should probably post it you've just been feeding
the wrong yeah I'm like this kid just is a carnivore
he just wants meat and it was like Michael cooked
it like medium rare so it was like kind of bloody
still this might be really gross for people but
literally like the blood and the juice was like
dripping down Cruz's arms and he like he sucked
all the juice out of this piece of meat where
it was just like This is it just sounds disgusting,
but like a shriveled up like piece of meat. I
mean, that's the stuff like for babies. That's
actually really good. Yeah. Yeah. It has all
the nutrients. Yes. And so I took this piece
of meat away from him and I have never seen him
cry to like the depths of his soul. And he was
so mad at me, so, so mad at me. So I handed him
another piece and he like sucked that thing dry
too. And by the third piece, we were like, we
can, like, he's got to, he's got to chill. Like
this is the first solid he's actually like tried
to eat and been okay with. And he just wants
steak and steak is expensive. So we will not
be eating steak a lot. But now I'm like, okay,
this kid just wants like real food. He doesn't
want like mashed up. banana you know and so the
next night I gave him like a chunk of banana
and he like actually kind of ate it a little
bit so I'm like okay I think I've just been feeding
him the wrong things I can send you the book
we did for baby led weaning yeah that'd be great
that was super helpful for like what to serve
and how to serve it yeah that'd be awesome because
I just yeah I'm super nervous because he's like
not really like chewing like He hasn't quite
figured it out. Yeah. Colt was like such a like
easy, liked everything pretty much that we gave
him. And Cruz is just being a little more difficult,
which is surprising to me because he's a big
boy that I was like, oh, he's going to love food.
You know, I just correlated that. I don't know.
Nope. No, he does not. He loves mama's milkies.
Yes. Yeah. So, yeah, that was my win. But that's
great. yeah well thanks for tuning in guys would
love like we said would love to hear how you're
doing yeah yeah we'll post some stuff on stories
and on instagram yeah but follow us at no manual
podcast if you don't already and we will see
you next week see you next week well that's enough
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Momcast, where motherhood is messy. At least
we can laugh about it together.