WEBVTT 00:00:12.870 --> 00:00:15.050 motherhood where sleep is a rumor and laundry 00:00:15.050 --> 00:00:17.809 is eternal and somehow we're supposed to be raising 00:00:17.809 --> 00:00:20.429 tiny humans through it all we're here to laugh 00:00:20.429 --> 00:00:23.390 at the chaos cry when necessary and remind you 00:00:23.390 --> 00:00:25.469 that none of us actually know what we're doing 00:00:25.469 --> 00:00:28.629 this is no manual a mom cast your mom friend 00:00:28.629 --> 00:00:31.210 group chat but with microphones welcome back 00:00:31.210 --> 00:00:34.549 to no manual mom cast Hi everyone, welcome back 00:00:34.549 --> 00:00:38.570 to No Manual on MomCast. Today we are chatting 00:00:38.570 --> 00:00:42.310 a little bit more about just community and motherhood, 00:00:42.369 --> 00:00:45.609 all about our villages. That's kind of like, 00:00:45.750 --> 00:00:48.390 I don't know, a term that, like, it takes a village. 00:00:48.710 --> 00:00:51.310 That's a cliche at least. Yeah, yeah. So we're 00:00:51.310 --> 00:00:53.070 going to be chatting about that today, but before 00:00:53.070 --> 00:00:55.710 we hop in, should we share our mom moments of 00:00:55.710 --> 00:00:59.520 the week? Sure, I can start. Okay, great. Lloyd 00:00:59.520 --> 00:01:03.259 has two books specifically about construction 00:01:03.259 --> 00:01:07.200 vehicles. Big vehicle guy. He is, yep. So one 00:01:07.200 --> 00:01:10.459 is called Road Builders, and I think it's fairly 00:01:10.459 --> 00:01:13.819 accurate. I mean, I've never built a road, so 00:01:13.819 --> 00:01:17.400 I don't know. But it goes through the steps of 00:01:17.400 --> 00:01:21.739 the dump truck carries dirt away and all these 00:01:21.739 --> 00:01:23.840 things. And at the very beginning, it talks about 00:01:23.840 --> 00:01:27.599 there's a team. So it's Buddy, John, Ed, Fran, 00:01:27.659 --> 00:01:29.980 Joe, Jesse, and Chuck. And Buddy is the boss. 00:01:30.180 --> 00:01:33.180 That was a mouthful. I've read this a couple 00:01:33.180 --> 00:01:35.480 times. Yeah, I can tell. And Buddy's the boss. 00:01:35.519 --> 00:01:37.700 And Lloyd knows this every time. Buddy boss. 00:01:37.920 --> 00:01:41.219 And he tells everyone what to do. His other book, 00:01:41.219 --> 00:01:43.659 I think, is called, like, The Noisy Construction 00:01:43.659 --> 00:01:47.400 Site or something like that. And in this construction 00:01:47.400 --> 00:01:52.560 site, it's run by Little B. Okay. Who's a bulldozer, 00:01:52.579 --> 00:01:54.819 which obviously makes sense. But it's a kid's 00:01:54.819 --> 00:01:57.420 book, whatever. Yeah. The problem is the book 00:01:57.420 --> 00:02:01.140 is just a mess. little b just like lets everyone 00:02:01.140 --> 00:02:03.640 do what they want and like that's kind of the 00:02:03.640 --> 00:02:05.859 point at the end is like oh we should all work 00:02:05.859 --> 00:02:08.460 together whatever yeah but stewart and i just 00:02:08.460 --> 00:02:11.740 like can't get over what a bad boss he is to 00:02:11.740 --> 00:02:15.080 the point where the other night we're in bed 00:02:15.080 --> 00:02:17.319 like kids are asleep we have not read a kid's 00:02:17.319 --> 00:02:20.039 book in a couple hours and we're both just like 00:02:20.039 --> 00:02:24.310 riffing on what a bad boss And like construction 00:02:24.310 --> 00:02:26.530 manager little B is like, could you imagine a 00:02:26.530 --> 00:02:28.750 construction site where the manager is just like, 00:02:28.830 --> 00:02:31.590 what are we going to do today, you guys? I don't 00:02:31.590 --> 00:02:34.009 know. Let's see. You're like, thank God my boss 00:02:34.009 --> 00:02:37.810 isn't like that. So now when we read that one, 00:02:37.889 --> 00:02:39.530 we're like, here's the thing. His other book, 00:02:39.650 --> 00:02:41.610 Buddy, he knows what he's doing. Great boss. 00:02:41.949 --> 00:02:44.009 He tells everyone what to do. That's his thing. 00:02:44.169 --> 00:02:47.569 But yeah, so we just like go off. And every time 00:02:47.569 --> 00:02:50.009 now that I read it, I just tell Lloyd that this 00:02:50.009 --> 00:02:54.330 is a cautionary tale of bad management. and he 00:02:54.330 --> 00:02:57.930 obviously he's like okay mom yeah it has buttons 00:02:57.930 --> 00:02:59.449 that makes noise so he's like i just want to 00:02:59.449 --> 00:03:01.689 press the buttons i don't care he's like i don't 00:03:01.689 --> 00:03:03.250 actually know what this book is really about 00:03:03.250 --> 00:03:06.270 i just like the buttons but just like how deeply 00:03:06.270 --> 00:03:09.449 this children's book about construction has affected 00:03:09.449 --> 00:03:12.569 our lives yeah yeah we're very passionate that 00:03:12.569 --> 00:03:15.849 reminds me terrible that reminds me this is not 00:03:15.849 --> 00:03:18.030 my mom moment but that reminds me so we've been 00:03:18.030 --> 00:03:22.129 watching we found this weird like person on youtube 00:03:22.129 --> 00:03:24.909 that has these music videos called move with 00:03:24.909 --> 00:03:28.669 Jason kind of weird dude, but he has this song 00:03:28.669 --> 00:03:33.729 called my arms are snakes. And for the longest 00:03:33.729 --> 00:03:37.430 time, I thought it said moms are snakes. And 00:03:37.430 --> 00:03:42.949 I was like, this is not a good song saying moms 00:03:42.949 --> 00:03:45.150 are snakes. Cause it's like, I don't know. It 00:03:45.150 --> 00:03:47.750 kind of makes sense with the song. But finally 00:03:47.750 --> 00:03:50.389 I think it was, Michael was like, You know that 00:03:50.389 --> 00:03:55.169 it says my arms are snakes. And it, like, I don't 00:03:55.169 --> 00:03:56.569 know why I wouldn't think that. Like, they're 00:03:56.569 --> 00:03:58.889 literally, like, moving their arms like snakes. 00:03:58.889 --> 00:04:01.870 And I'm like, duh. Like, the internet these days 00:04:01.870 --> 00:04:04.090 shows bad influence. Yeah, for real. That's so 00:04:04.090 --> 00:04:08.270 funny. Yeah. Okay, my mom moment. So, Cruz just 00:04:08.270 --> 00:04:11.500 started, like. kind of standing up on things. 00:04:11.659 --> 00:04:15.199 And so, um, he's done it like four times, I think 00:04:15.199 --> 00:04:18.439 on the couch. But last night I was like washing 00:04:18.439 --> 00:04:21.680 my face, getting ready for bed or to put him 00:04:21.680 --> 00:04:24.500 to bed. But I try to like put my pajamas on and 00:04:24.500 --> 00:04:27.240 like wash my face so that like I can then just 00:04:27.240 --> 00:04:30.819 chill for the rest of the night. Um, so I. Michael 00:04:30.819 --> 00:04:33.000 was putting Colt to bed. So I'm just like washing 00:04:33.000 --> 00:04:34.720 my face and Cruz is just like sitting in the 00:04:34.720 --> 00:04:36.839 bathroom and he'll just like crawl around in 00:04:36.839 --> 00:04:39.480 there and like grab things, whatever. And all 00:04:39.480 --> 00:04:42.399 of a sudden I look over and he's like, he's climbed 00:04:42.399 --> 00:04:45.759 up on the edge of the toilet and he has his mouth 00:04:45.759 --> 00:04:49.220 on the edge of the toilet. Perfect. And I like 00:04:49.220 --> 00:04:51.660 grab him really quick. And I was like, you know 00:04:51.660 --> 00:04:55.579 that, yeah, that was like not my best, uh, parenting 00:04:55.579 --> 00:04:58.920 moment. And I'm like, he literally like boys 00:04:58.920 --> 00:05:01.889 don't pee the, cleanest all the time and i'm 00:05:01.889 --> 00:05:05.790 like legit my child just put his mouth right 00:05:05.790 --> 00:05:08.149 on the edge of the toilet where that drippage 00:05:08.149 --> 00:05:12.019 would have been so that was you know he'll survive 00:05:12.019 --> 00:05:14.660 he was fine he like i pulled him away really 00:05:14.660 --> 00:05:17.360 quick and i just was like laughing in my head 00:05:17.360 --> 00:05:20.079 and i was like whatever what honestly probably 00:05:20.079 --> 00:05:22.540 not the grossest thing he has or will put in 00:05:22.540 --> 00:05:24.560 his mouth in his life that's so true that is 00:05:24.560 --> 00:05:26.660 so true and if i would not have pulled him away 00:05:26.660 --> 00:05:28.620 from it he would have continued to of course 00:05:28.620 --> 00:05:31.800 yeah yeah yeah so love that's my mom moment but 00:05:31.800 --> 00:05:35.240 um okay should we just hop right in yeah okay 00:05:35.240 --> 00:05:39.810 so Do you feel like you have a village? Because 00:05:39.810 --> 00:05:41.350 that's kind of our theme, I guess, for this episode. 00:05:41.410 --> 00:05:43.550 It's like, it takes a village. And that's what 00:05:43.550 --> 00:05:46.410 everyone says when you're pregnant. And it's 00:05:46.410 --> 00:05:48.810 super unhelpful when you're pregnant. But would 00:05:48.810 --> 00:05:51.329 you say that you have a village or a community 00:05:51.329 --> 00:05:53.709 or a group of people that you feel you're supported 00:05:53.709 --> 00:05:57.810 by? Yes, I do feel support. I don't feel like 00:05:57.810 --> 00:06:02.769 I have... a village on like a daily basis, if 00:06:02.769 --> 00:06:07.269 that makes sense. Like, I think I have a lot 00:06:07.269 --> 00:06:11.689 of jealousy for people who have family that are 00:06:11.689 --> 00:06:14.889 in town that can just like, you know, at the 00:06:14.889 --> 00:06:18.410 drop of a hat will come over and help or friends 00:06:18.410 --> 00:06:21.949 that are like willing to, I don't know, watch 00:06:21.949 --> 00:06:25.129 kids for a date night or like, I don't feel like 00:06:25.129 --> 00:06:29.139 I have. that village to that extent i do feel 00:06:29.139 --> 00:06:31.420 like i have i have friends that are in the same 00:06:31.420 --> 00:06:34.639 season and like that in itself i think is really 00:06:34.639 --> 00:06:38.819 hard to like be as supportive as maybe you would 00:06:38.819 --> 00:06:41.680 want to be if you're like yeah in the same season 00:06:41.680 --> 00:06:44.879 i guess so i feel like i have support i feel 00:06:44.879 --> 00:06:46.839 like i could i have a lot of people that i can 00:06:46.839 --> 00:06:49.279 reach out to especially to vent and like that 00:06:49.279 --> 00:06:52.980 would help if i asked for it absolutely but i 00:06:52.980 --> 00:06:56.560 don't think I necessarily have like the on a 00:06:56.560 --> 00:06:58.740 daily basis village, if that makes sense. Yeah. 00:06:58.779 --> 00:07:02.819 No, I was trying to figure out how I felt. And 00:07:02.819 --> 00:07:05.300 I would say like maybe that's a good way to explain 00:07:05.300 --> 00:07:08.139 it. Yeah. I mean, so we do have family in town, 00:07:08.220 --> 00:07:11.079 which I'm like super, super grateful for. And 00:07:11.079 --> 00:07:12.759 I think that's part of it for me is I'm like, 00:07:12.759 --> 00:07:15.839 I feel like I can't complain even though I don't 00:07:15.839 --> 00:07:18.300 necessarily have all the support I wish I had. 00:07:18.379 --> 00:07:21.220 Yeah. If that makes sense. Yeah. And it's definitely 00:07:21.220 --> 00:07:24.839 like the daily thing. where just like yeah yeah 00:07:24.839 --> 00:07:28.360 going in and out of every day like I wish I had 00:07:28.360 --> 00:07:31.939 more people or yeah and I would also say like 00:07:31.939 --> 00:07:34.480 the jealousy thing I know social media is like 00:07:34.480 --> 00:07:36.480 awful for this and I know that like for sure 00:07:36.480 --> 00:07:39.139 I should just delete it or whatever but you you 00:07:39.139 --> 00:07:40.699 know you go on Instagram and you're scrolling 00:07:40.699 --> 00:07:43.879 and you see The mom who's like, oh, I was having 00:07:43.879 --> 00:07:46.720 a bad day. So my friend brought me like coffee 00:07:46.720 --> 00:07:48.360 and lunch. And I'm like, cool, cool, cool, cool. 00:07:48.439 --> 00:07:51.319 Yeah. I've been in tears all day. Yeah. And so 00:07:51.319 --> 00:07:52.879 there's definitely like that jealousy of like 00:07:52.879 --> 00:07:55.839 you see other people. But then also, you know, 00:07:55.860 --> 00:07:58.180 you don't know their entire life. Like maybe 00:07:58.180 --> 00:08:00.120 this is like the one off where it happened and 00:08:00.120 --> 00:08:03.399 that's not normal. Yeah. I think you have, I 00:08:03.399 --> 00:08:06.279 don't know. I think you have every right to complain. 00:08:06.980 --> 00:08:09.839 I don't think necessarily you having like your 00:08:09.839 --> 00:08:13.949 family as a support system. gives you or like 00:08:13.949 --> 00:08:17.449 makes you have to kind of hold in that sure complaint 00:08:17.449 --> 00:08:19.490 but i can see where you're coming from you're 00:08:19.490 --> 00:08:22.350 like well i have people you know yeah well i 00:08:22.350 --> 00:08:24.769 think it's just like am i just not grateful for 00:08:24.769 --> 00:08:28.910 what i have you know um or it's like super grateful 00:08:28.910 --> 00:08:31.810 like right now i mean stewart has the kids but 00:08:31.810 --> 00:08:33.590 he just went over to his parents house because 00:08:33.590 --> 00:08:38.159 it's dark out now at you know 2 p .m. 4 30 p 00:08:38.159 --> 00:08:40.480 .m. that's how things are the worst daylight 00:08:40.480 --> 00:08:42.779 savings and so he's like we can't go to a park 00:08:42.779 --> 00:08:45.179 really so yeah so it's like we have stuff like 00:08:45.179 --> 00:08:48.879 that that I am super grateful for but then there's 00:08:48.879 --> 00:08:52.779 like this deeper level that partially is there's 00:08:52.779 --> 00:08:55.460 just like pieces that like grandparents just 00:08:55.460 --> 00:08:58.200 can't fill in yeah and I mean I definitely like 00:08:58.200 --> 00:09:00.360 I have you guys and there's like you know other 00:09:00.360 --> 00:09:03.620 people who I know who have kids in a similar 00:09:03.620 --> 00:09:05.700 age, which is super helpful. Yeah. But then like 00:09:05.700 --> 00:09:07.500 you said, it's really hard when you have kids 00:09:07.500 --> 00:09:09.840 in the same age. When you're all just kind of 00:09:09.840 --> 00:09:12.000 like surviving every day. It's hard to like, 00:09:12.019 --> 00:09:15.200 and not saying it's not possible. Like there, 00:09:15.240 --> 00:09:17.279 there just has to be more intentionality behind 00:09:17.279 --> 00:09:20.019 it. Yeah. And I think that's, at least for me, 00:09:20.059 --> 00:09:23.080 that's the hard part of like, yeah. Like I love 00:09:23.080 --> 00:09:25.340 hanging out with you guys and like being with 00:09:25.340 --> 00:09:27.279 you guys and you guys are such a good support, 00:09:27.460 --> 00:09:31.820 but on a, weekly basis it's so hard to like get 00:09:31.820 --> 00:09:35.080 out of our rhythm or routine to like I don't 00:09:35.080 --> 00:09:38.320 know not not that that's an excuse at all no 00:09:38.320 --> 00:09:41.620 but I mean it is hard and it is hard like I think 00:09:41.620 --> 00:09:43.379 I brought this up on a different episode too 00:09:43.379 --> 00:09:48.159 where with how like our culture is I guess set 00:09:48.159 --> 00:09:52.070 up now we're generally like relationally close 00:09:52.070 --> 00:09:53.990 with people we're not geographically close with 00:09:53.990 --> 00:09:56.129 yeah it's like you and i would have a very different 00:09:56.129 --> 00:09:58.990 relationship if we lived next door right then 00:09:58.990 --> 00:10:02.009 i'd be like hey i'm losing my mind yeah can we 00:10:02.009 --> 00:10:03.990 just come over like we'll all like sit in the 00:10:03.990 --> 00:10:06.269 front yard together like i'm running to the grocery 00:10:06.269 --> 00:10:08.289 store i'll pick them up but we live 20 minutes 00:10:08.289 --> 00:10:10.470 away so you know if it's like i'm running to 00:10:10.470 --> 00:10:12.840 the grocery store It doesn't make sense for me 00:10:12.840 --> 00:10:14.100 to pick up your groceries. I'm going to pass 00:10:14.100 --> 00:10:16.320 three grocery stores before I get to your house. 00:10:16.620 --> 00:10:20.500 Yeah, exactly. So I think like that makes a big 00:10:20.500 --> 00:10:23.440 challenge for me where it's like, oh, a lot of 00:10:23.440 --> 00:10:26.100 the people who I am relationally close with aren't, 00:10:26.100 --> 00:10:30.259 are like 10, 15, 20 minutes away, if not further. 00:10:30.580 --> 00:10:34.919 So then it kind of takes away like convenience 00:10:34.919 --> 00:10:39.059 of like that village stuff, you know, where it's 00:10:39.059 --> 00:10:41.159 like, I don't want to put them out. Exactly. 00:10:41.320 --> 00:10:45.399 You know, I feel like it's hard to with like 00:10:45.399 --> 00:10:48.759 rhythms that we've set. Like I feel like my kids 00:10:48.759 --> 00:10:52.179 thrive with routine and rhythm. And like if I'm 00:10:52.179 --> 00:10:55.399 like breaking the schedule by like, hey, we're 00:10:55.399 --> 00:10:58.539 going to, I don't know, go over here, but it's 00:10:58.539 --> 00:11:01.340 going to run into nap time. Like then I know 00:11:01.340 --> 00:11:03.759 you're going to skip your nap. Then it's going 00:11:03.759 --> 00:11:06.860 to be like terrible rest of the day. Like I know 00:11:06.860 --> 00:11:09.679 we're all going to be so tired. And so that's 00:11:09.679 --> 00:11:11.820 the hard part for me is I'm like, am I just being 00:11:11.820 --> 00:11:16.500 too strict on routine that I just need to have 00:11:16.500 --> 00:11:20.000 more flexibility in order to like open up doors 00:11:20.000 --> 00:11:22.620 for like more of this village that I'm desiring? 00:11:23.720 --> 00:11:27.360 Probably. But like also being a full -time working 00:11:27.360 --> 00:11:32.049 mom, that puts some... barriers up too yeah that 00:11:32.049 --> 00:11:34.950 was one of the things that i had like kind of 00:11:34.950 --> 00:11:38.690 written down is and i'm sure like a stay -at 00:11:38.690 --> 00:11:40.029 -home mom's gonna listen to this and be like 00:11:40.029 --> 00:11:41.830 you don't know what you're talking about Partially 00:11:41.830 --> 00:11:44.490 true. But as a working mom, I think the challenges 00:11:44.490 --> 00:11:46.269 of having a village as a working mom and as a 00:11:46.269 --> 00:11:48.049 stay -at -home mom are probably different. For 00:11:48.049 --> 00:11:50.889 sure. Because I know for me, when I was pregnant 00:11:50.889 --> 00:11:53.490 with Lloyd and right after I had him, I had multiple 00:11:53.490 --> 00:11:55.309 moms be like, you have to join a moms group. 00:11:55.370 --> 00:11:57.370 Yeah. They're life -saving, blah, blah, blah, 00:11:57.409 --> 00:12:00.110 which I love that idea. But then whenever I look, 00:12:00.149 --> 00:12:02.149 I'm like, they're all like 1030 on a Tuesday. 00:12:02.549 --> 00:12:05.110 Yes. And as much as I would love to be like, 00:12:05.230 --> 00:12:07.809 hey, boss, I need three hours off every Tuesday 00:12:07.809 --> 00:12:10.169 morning or every other Tuesday morning so I can 00:12:10.169 --> 00:12:11.710 go to this mom group. yeah that's just not how 00:12:11.710 --> 00:12:16.049 jobs work and that's not a reality so then those 00:12:16.049 --> 00:12:19.129 kind of resources just don't exist or at least 00:12:19.129 --> 00:12:22.370 don't exist as much yeah for if you're a working 00:12:22.370 --> 00:12:24.889 mom like we are yeah and so I think that's really 00:12:24.889 --> 00:12:27.509 hard yeah and like I know that's one of the things 00:12:27.509 --> 00:12:29.429 where again the jealousy comes in frustration 00:12:29.429 --> 00:12:32.250 comes in yeah so it's like I would like this 00:12:32.250 --> 00:12:34.429 is a resource that exists for a lot of moms but 00:12:34.429 --> 00:12:38.129 then also like the other thing with like I think 00:12:38.129 --> 00:12:39.929 even if I was a stay -at -home mom, that would 00:12:39.929 --> 00:12:44.230 like maybe make me pause is with joining a group 00:12:44.230 --> 00:12:47.210 like that is like, am I going to get along with 00:12:47.210 --> 00:12:49.210 these moms? Like, what's that going to look like? 00:12:49.250 --> 00:12:51.309 Are they going to? Like, you don't want to go 00:12:51.309 --> 00:12:54.950 into something and be like fake or. Yeah. So 00:12:54.950 --> 00:12:57.669 it's like, am I going to go into this and we're 00:12:57.669 --> 00:13:00.460 like not going to. Not going to vibe. At all? 00:13:00.639 --> 00:13:02.519 Yeah. Like, how's that going to go? For sure. 00:13:02.559 --> 00:13:04.580 And I feel like, like, our time is so precious 00:13:04.580 --> 00:13:07.279 now that, like, I don't want to waste my time 00:13:07.279 --> 00:13:09.320 on relationships that don't mean anything to 00:13:09.320 --> 00:13:12.139 me. Yeah. As, like, cocky as that sounds maybe, 00:13:12.259 --> 00:13:15.360 like, I don't know. Like, I just don't have time. 00:13:15.820 --> 00:13:18.820 Yeah. And, like, my time is very limited, especially, 00:13:18.919 --> 00:13:22.700 like, if it's something outside of my kids or, 00:13:22.779 --> 00:13:26.080 you know, I'm not going to necessarily grab coffee 00:13:26.080 --> 00:13:29.100 with someone I don't see. like a further friendship 00:13:29.100 --> 00:13:32.500 or like yeah you know relationship as a mom or 00:13:32.500 --> 00:13:36.059 i don't know yeah i feel it's not worth it and 00:13:36.059 --> 00:13:39.899 then i have like this like paradox i guess of 00:13:39.899 --> 00:13:44.100 i know that to have deeper relationships i have 00:13:44.100 --> 00:13:46.639 to like do those awkward things like the coffee 00:13:46.639 --> 00:13:49.159 dates and stuff like that but then i don't want 00:13:49.159 --> 00:13:51.039 to waste time if it's like oh we're not gonna 00:13:51.039 --> 00:13:53.059 you know so it's like what how do i find this 00:13:53.059 --> 00:13:56.440 balance of like trying to figure out are like 00:13:57.070 --> 00:13:59.830 if i invest in this relationship it's actually 00:13:59.830 --> 00:14:02.529 going to go someplace yeah or am i wasting my 00:14:02.529 --> 00:14:05.149 time and like i know sometimes you are just gonna 00:14:05.149 --> 00:14:07.710 have to waste your time but yeah unfortunately 00:14:07.710 --> 00:14:12.269 again i don't have time or energy no or going 00:14:12.269 --> 00:14:14.289 back to like the groups you're talking about 00:14:14.289 --> 00:14:18.190 so like the other side of it too is yeah we have 00:14:18.190 --> 00:14:20.470 our weekends but i don't know if you feel this 00:14:20.470 --> 00:14:22.809 way like When we finally get to the weekend, 00:14:23.090 --> 00:14:26.029 and so for us, we have Friday and Saturday off. 00:14:26.509 --> 00:14:28.470 Mostly, well, we have Saturday night service. 00:14:28.570 --> 00:14:31.929 So we have Friday and half of Saturday off. And 00:14:31.929 --> 00:14:34.769 for me, I feel like our weekends consist of like 00:14:34.769 --> 00:14:38.389 resetting for the next week. And like, yes, we 00:14:38.389 --> 00:14:41.049 do grocery pickup a lot now, which has been like 00:14:41.049 --> 00:14:43.870 a game changer and has saved us a lot of time. 00:14:43.970 --> 00:14:46.049 But I feel like we're just like trying to catch 00:14:46.049 --> 00:14:49.879 up on. laundry trying to like get back into a 00:14:49.879 --> 00:14:52.919 better routine like maybe try to do one fun family 00:14:52.919 --> 00:14:55.700 thing all together yeah and then there's nap 00:14:55.700 --> 00:14:57.980 times on both of those days that cuts out like 00:14:57.980 --> 00:15:01.779 two three hours of our time and i just feel like 00:15:01.779 --> 00:15:04.519 by the time we like get our day going and like 00:15:04.519 --> 00:15:07.120 go anywhere it's like we have time for maybe 00:15:07.120 --> 00:15:10.600 like one or two errands and then it's like gotta 00:15:10.600 --> 00:15:13.320 get home for nap and lunch and then we've got 00:15:13.320 --> 00:15:16.039 like a couple hours maybe one more thing we can 00:15:16.039 --> 00:15:18.440 do maybe go to the park and then it's like bed 00:15:18.440 --> 00:15:22.080 dinner bedtime yeah i feel i feel the same i 00:15:22.080 --> 00:15:25.960 think where and well and for us i feel like stewart 00:15:25.960 --> 00:15:29.259 has such limited time and with the kids and then 00:15:29.259 --> 00:15:32.740 also like us as a family unit that i want to 00:15:32.740 --> 00:15:36.080 prioritize those times together yes especially 00:15:36.080 --> 00:15:37.840 right now when they're little and i'm like they're 00:15:37.840 --> 00:15:40.419 only gonna be this little once and you know i 00:15:40.419 --> 00:15:42.259 want to do these fun things together as a family 00:15:43.189 --> 00:15:46.690 So that does make it hard too because our weekend 00:15:46.690 --> 00:15:49.090 time and you blink and the weekend's over and 00:15:49.090 --> 00:15:52.830 you're like, what happened? And I know we try 00:15:52.830 --> 00:15:55.029 to be intentional about not being super busy 00:15:55.029 --> 00:15:57.309 and planning stuff every weekend. But I think 00:15:57.309 --> 00:16:00.190 because we do that, we end up saying yes way 00:16:00.190 --> 00:16:03.490 more because it's just like all of a sudden like, 00:16:03.590 --> 00:16:05.889 oh yeah, we don't do stuff. I think I told you 00:16:05.889 --> 00:16:08.269 like October we had something every single Friday, 00:16:08.309 --> 00:16:12.759 which is not. a normal thing for us yeah and 00:16:12.759 --> 00:16:16.080 i'm glad we did all of it but it was just one 00:16:16.080 --> 00:16:19.179 of those things where we're like oh and now like 00:16:19.179 --> 00:16:21.580 we don't have a single friday for us to just 00:16:21.580 --> 00:16:24.759 like be a family yeah watch a movie or go to 00:16:24.759 --> 00:16:26.879 a park or whatever yeah do you feel like those 00:16:26.879 --> 00:16:30.440 things like when you thought about oh man every 00:16:30.440 --> 00:16:32.600 Friday we have something was that an exhausting 00:16:32.600 --> 00:16:35.460 thing for you or was that like by the end of 00:16:35.460 --> 00:16:38.100 whatever event you were going to and like hanging 00:16:38.100 --> 00:16:40.200 out with people whatever it was do you feel like 00:16:40.200 --> 00:16:42.700 you left it like oh I feel rejuvenated I'm so 00:16:42.700 --> 00:16:45.080 glad we I'm so glad we did this or was it like 00:16:45.080 --> 00:16:47.379 oh man I kind of wish we would have just stayed 00:16:47.379 --> 00:16:50.179 home it was exhausting but I'm glad we did all 00:16:50.179 --> 00:16:53.240 of it yeah especially most of it was stuff that 00:16:53.240 --> 00:16:57.199 is like a once a year kind of thing so Okay, 00:16:57.199 --> 00:16:59.960 October, I guess we had a party that we were 00:16:59.960 --> 00:17:01.519 going to go to, and then Lloyd got hand, foot, 00:17:01.519 --> 00:17:03.940 mouth. Fun. Super fun. Yeah, he woke up from 00:17:03.940 --> 00:17:05.859 a nap, and we were like, we probably shouldn't 00:17:05.859 --> 00:17:08.220 go. So we ended up just doing a family thing 00:17:08.220 --> 00:17:09.920 that night. So that was a little bit different, 00:17:10.000 --> 00:17:12.460 and that was super nice. That was good. Then 00:17:12.460 --> 00:17:17.440 the next weekend, Lloyd had an overnight with 00:17:17.440 --> 00:17:19.880 his grandparents, so he was out of the house. 00:17:20.119 --> 00:17:22.319 And then we FaceTimed and played Mario Party 00:17:22.319 --> 00:17:25.299 with... some good friends who live out of state 00:17:25.299 --> 00:17:28.660 and we nice like literally the last time we saw 00:17:28.660 --> 00:17:31.380 them and really talked to them was last october 00:17:31.380 --> 00:17:34.599 when we visited them and then the next week we 00:17:34.599 --> 00:17:36.380 had a halloween party and then the next week 00:17:36.380 --> 00:17:38.599 was halloween so we went to retreating yeah so 00:17:38.599 --> 00:17:41.980 it was all stuff that like was really good but 00:17:41.980 --> 00:17:44.140 then all of a sudden you're like oh we haven't 00:17:44.140 --> 00:17:46.819 just like had a family night yeah in a long time 00:17:46.819 --> 00:17:51.019 then you crave that yeah yeah yeah yeah so like 00:17:51.019 --> 00:17:54.589 i don't know the busyness I don't like that business 00:17:54.589 --> 00:17:58.450 all the time. No. But for this time, it was all 00:17:58.450 --> 00:18:00.269 stuff where it's like Halloween comes once a 00:18:00.269 --> 00:18:01.910 year. It's like, yes, I want to go to this party. 00:18:02.029 --> 00:18:05.049 And obviously we're going to go trick -or -treating 00:18:05.049 --> 00:18:08.170 on Halloween. Yeah. Which was family time too. 00:18:08.769 --> 00:18:12.630 Yeah. Yeah. Going back to like the, I guess the 00:18:12.630 --> 00:18:15.529 village side of things, what is, what do you 00:18:15.529 --> 00:18:19.470 envision for a village? I mean, I think there's 00:18:19.470 --> 00:18:22.529 like a little bit of the. social media aspect 00:18:22.529 --> 00:18:25.950 of it right where again I see like these moms 00:18:25.950 --> 00:18:28.390 who are going grocery shopping together and they're 00:18:28.390 --> 00:18:30.750 always at each other's houses and doing stuff 00:18:30.750 --> 00:18:33.329 like that and that's where the jealousy comes 00:18:33.329 --> 00:18:35.849 in because I'm like I have never done anything 00:18:35.849 --> 00:18:39.609 like that one of the things I did realize recently 00:18:40.589 --> 00:18:43.329 maybe like a month, month and a half ago, I got 00:18:43.329 --> 00:18:46.130 sick. I ended up calling in sick to work. Um, 00:18:46.269 --> 00:18:48.250 and then I called my mom. I was like, Hey, can 00:18:48.250 --> 00:18:51.049 you like help at all? Um, and so she brought 00:18:51.049 --> 00:18:52.769 us breakfast, which was super helpful because 00:18:52.769 --> 00:18:54.690 it was one of those six where I was like, I can't 00:18:54.690 --> 00:18:58.289 move my body. Like I'm just so tired. So she 00:18:58.289 --> 00:19:00.569 brought breakfast for the kids and then she ended 00:19:00.569 --> 00:19:02.849 up like cleaning my kitchen and giving me some 00:19:02.849 --> 00:19:05.450 time to shower, which was so nice and so amazing. 00:19:06.569 --> 00:19:08.170 And then my mother -in -law brought us dinner 00:19:08.170 --> 00:19:09.789 that night. That's nice. And she just like picked 00:19:09.789 --> 00:19:12.230 something up from Costco. Yeah. But it meant 00:19:12.230 --> 00:19:14.269 I didn't have to go to the store or cook anything. 00:19:14.910 --> 00:19:18.470 And the thing that I realized with that is they're 00:19:18.470 --> 00:19:20.230 both in the stages of life where they can do 00:19:20.230 --> 00:19:23.829 that. Like my mom's retired right now. So like 00:19:23.829 --> 00:19:26.829 I'm sure she had plans that day, but she was 00:19:26.829 --> 00:19:28.509 able to adjust. You know, if you have a job, 00:19:28.710 --> 00:19:32.390 you can't. There's no adjustment. Yeah. And my 00:19:32.390 --> 00:19:34.390 mother -in -law, I mean, she retires in a few 00:19:34.390 --> 00:19:37.559 weeks. But she had. She doesn't have kids at 00:19:37.559 --> 00:19:41.420 home, so it's not like, oh, being an hour late 00:19:41.420 --> 00:19:45.619 coming home from work is a huge deal. It is. 00:19:45.740 --> 00:19:47.880 I don't want to dismiss it, but it's different 00:19:47.880 --> 00:19:49.099 than when you have kids in the house, right? 00:19:49.180 --> 00:19:50.940 She doesn't have anyone to pick up or get to 00:19:50.940 --> 00:19:53.619 talk or practice, anything like that. And so 00:19:53.619 --> 00:19:56.400 with that, the thing that I kind of realized 00:19:56.400 --> 00:20:00.240 is when we go back to a traditional village, 00:20:00.359 --> 00:20:03.880 like old school, walking distance kind of situation. 00:20:05.019 --> 00:20:07.140 you have people of lots of different generations. 00:20:07.539 --> 00:20:10.359 And I think that like, that's a God design and 00:20:10.359 --> 00:20:13.700 intentional because like, if you called me and 00:20:13.700 --> 00:20:15.279 you were sick, I would love to come over and 00:20:15.279 --> 00:20:16.839 make breakfast for you and clean your kitchen. 00:20:16.859 --> 00:20:19.680 But also my kitchen's not even clean and my kids 00:20:19.680 --> 00:20:22.640 need breakfast. So that's just, and I have a 00:20:22.640 --> 00:20:24.619 job and you know, all these different aspects. 00:20:24.619 --> 00:20:26.200 It's more like, Hey, I'll send you a DoorDash 00:20:26.200 --> 00:20:30.420 gift card. Exactly. Like that's okay. You know, 00:20:30.440 --> 00:20:32.599 I don't think that makes me like a bad friend. 00:20:32.619 --> 00:20:34.799 Like I wouldn't consider you a bad friend for 00:20:34.799 --> 00:20:37.279 reverse or anything. It's just the season of 00:20:37.279 --> 00:20:40.759 life. And so I think like one of the things that 00:20:40.759 --> 00:20:44.539 is kind of important that we miss and that culturally 00:20:44.539 --> 00:20:48.980 we kind of don't do is just like having people 00:20:48.980 --> 00:20:52.619 around us in all seasons. And like as a mom, 00:20:52.660 --> 00:20:55.799 one of the other things I've realized is it's 00:20:55.799 --> 00:20:58.720 like. I have a mom friend whose kids are like 00:20:58.720 --> 00:21:01.420 two and three years older than my kids. And so 00:21:01.420 --> 00:21:04.420 I know, I'm sure anytime she gets a text from 00:21:04.420 --> 00:21:05.980 me, she's like, oh, one of Erica's kids are six. 00:21:06.559 --> 00:21:09.200 She's like probably 50 % sure. Because I know 00:21:09.200 --> 00:21:10.960 she's been in this recently, so I can ask her 00:21:10.960 --> 00:21:14.299 questions. And she just went through it recently, 00:21:14.400 --> 00:21:17.140 so she knows. So yeah, I think like having... 00:21:17.440 --> 00:21:19.099 And then I have mom friends who have kids who 00:21:19.099 --> 00:21:21.579 are a lot older and that gives me like hope because 00:21:21.579 --> 00:21:24.440 I see you like out doing things like going on 00:21:24.440 --> 00:21:27.180 girls nights and stuff like that. That seems 00:21:27.180 --> 00:21:30.000 so foreign right now. But also you can give me 00:21:30.000 --> 00:21:33.279 advice because you've been there. And so, yeah, 00:21:33.339 --> 00:21:36.460 all that kind of like rant to say, like, I think 00:21:36.460 --> 00:21:41.079 we miss out a lot because. we try really hard 00:21:41.079 --> 00:21:42.940 to have people in the same season as us, which 00:21:42.940 --> 00:21:46.240 is good. It's so good. And like, we like, you 00:21:46.240 --> 00:21:47.839 and I like to get our kids together and like, 00:21:47.900 --> 00:21:50.859 it's so cute and fun. And the amount of texts 00:21:50.859 --> 00:21:53.619 between us that are like, oh, this is how my 00:21:53.619 --> 00:21:56.200 bedtime went. Oh, my bedtime went worse or whatever. 00:21:56.740 --> 00:22:00.059 Like that is super important. But then from like 00:22:00.059 --> 00:22:02.160 the actual support aspect, I think there's a 00:22:02.160 --> 00:22:06.339 level of like having. an intergenerational community 00:22:06.339 --> 00:22:09.299 that's so true that is so true which is also 00:22:09.299 --> 00:22:11.779 hard especially if you don't have family nearby 00:22:11.779 --> 00:22:14.299 to be like how am I gonna make friends with someone 00:22:14.299 --> 00:22:17.680 who's retired yeah right no that is I feel like 00:22:17.680 --> 00:22:21.519 that's so true and totally not the side of like 00:22:21.519 --> 00:22:24.799 thought of before being the intergenerational 00:22:24.799 --> 00:22:26.700 I've always thought like oh it takes a village 00:22:26.700 --> 00:22:30.269 well yeah it's the village of the people in the 00:22:30.269 --> 00:22:33.369 same like in the thick of it again is also so 00:22:33.369 --> 00:22:36.710 important so important and i viewed it as like 00:22:36.710 --> 00:22:38.809 okay people who are in the thick of it together 00:22:38.809 --> 00:22:44.450 and family not like hey who's outside like who's 00:22:44.450 --> 00:22:47.809 maybe moved on from this season who could help 00:22:47.809 --> 00:22:50.670 or step in or you could look to for advice and 00:22:50.670 --> 00:22:53.309 yeah which like i have i mean i definitely have 00:22:53.309 --> 00:22:58.089 people that i ask questions and that give me 00:22:58.089 --> 00:23:02.549 advice and are helpful. Like the, uh, woman who 00:23:02.549 --> 00:23:05.730 watches the boys for us on Tuesdays and Thursdays, 00:23:05.730 --> 00:23:09.710 um, who's Mimi to the boys. She like brings so 00:23:09.710 --> 00:23:13.069 much wisdom and I mean, she's raised three kids 00:23:13.069 --> 00:23:17.930 and so she, she knows so much more than I do 00:23:17.930 --> 00:23:21.430 in so many aspects. And so there's things that 00:23:21.430 --> 00:23:24.269 she's taught Colt. especially that like I'm like 00:23:24.269 --> 00:23:26.430 oh that is a great way to like teach him how 00:23:26.430 --> 00:23:28.809 to sneeze into his elbow like tell him his sneezes 00:23:28.809 --> 00:23:31.609 belong in his elbow like yeah like things like 00:23:31.609 --> 00:23:34.069 that that I'm like oh I love that you know yeah 00:23:34.069 --> 00:23:35.690 we're like I've never taught anyone to sneeze 00:23:35.690 --> 00:23:40.569 before so I don't know yeah I don't know so yeah 00:23:40.569 --> 00:23:42.970 the intergenerational thing is interesting and 00:23:42.970 --> 00:23:46.450 just a new side yeah I literally again I literally 00:23:46.450 --> 00:23:48.750 thought about it because I got sick and my mom 00:23:48.750 --> 00:23:51.799 was able to come over And I was like, none of 00:23:51.799 --> 00:23:54.460 my friends would be able to do this. And even 00:23:54.460 --> 00:23:56.960 my friends who don't have jobs, like they're 00:23:56.960 --> 00:23:58.579 not going to bring their kids over to someone's 00:23:58.579 --> 00:24:00.099 house. Like I wouldn't do that. I don't want 00:24:00.099 --> 00:24:01.980 my kids to get sick. I don't know what you have. 00:24:02.140 --> 00:24:05.180 Yeah, exactly. And I'm not even like overly paranoid 00:24:05.180 --> 00:24:08.279 about my kids getting sick. No, dude, I feel 00:24:08.279 --> 00:24:11.420 like my kids have been so like sick literally 00:24:11.420 --> 00:24:13.460 every other week right now. I don't know if you 00:24:13.460 --> 00:24:15.240 feel that way. It's been pretty bad. Yeah. And 00:24:15.240 --> 00:24:19.000 it's like, it's like the same. cough stuffy nose 00:24:19.000 --> 00:24:21.539 we got hand front mouth went through our house 00:24:21.539 --> 00:24:25.180 and then we've been okay and now zeta's just 00:24:25.180 --> 00:24:28.000 dripping snot i don't know i know and then there's 00:24:28.000 --> 00:24:29.759 other side of it where i'm like is this teething 00:24:29.759 --> 00:24:33.960 or is this are you sick or what's happening here 00:24:33.960 --> 00:24:38.380 i don't know yep rant over but i yeah i feel 00:24:38.380 --> 00:24:41.279 like i hear that term all the time it takes a 00:24:41.279 --> 00:24:45.799 village and i think when i hear that term just 00:24:46.269 --> 00:24:49.769 I think with the lack of family nearby, when 00:24:49.769 --> 00:24:51.390 I hear that term, I'm like, well, I don't have, 00:24:51.490 --> 00:24:54.950 you know, I don't have that. Yeah. And yeah, 00:24:55.009 --> 00:24:57.609 I would love that, but I don't have that. And 00:24:57.609 --> 00:25:00.289 so I like feel bad for myself. I don't know. 00:25:00.349 --> 00:25:03.849 Yeah. But I mean, I have family nearby and I 00:25:03.849 --> 00:25:06.529 feel bad for myself too. Yeah. I'm like, are 00:25:06.529 --> 00:25:08.650 we just all feeling bad for ourselves? Probably. 00:25:09.309 --> 00:25:12.630 Weirdly enough, I had a reel come up on my Instagram. 00:25:13.309 --> 00:25:15.569 like two nights ago while we were preparing for 00:25:15.569 --> 00:25:17.470 this, which I thought was super interesting. 00:25:17.549 --> 00:25:19.410 Maybe I'll find it and see if we can like reshare 00:25:19.410 --> 00:25:22.230 it or something. But she was talking about how 00:25:22.230 --> 00:25:25.210 to have a village, you need to be a villager, 00:25:25.349 --> 00:25:27.410 which I thought was really interesting and like 00:25:27.410 --> 00:25:31.170 also super convicting. Just like the intentionality, 00:25:31.170 --> 00:25:34.890 I guess. Yeah, where she like kind of to your 00:25:34.890 --> 00:25:36.990 point of like, are we too strict with nap times 00:25:36.990 --> 00:25:38.930 and stuff like that? Yeah, she was talking about 00:25:38.930 --> 00:25:41.589 how like our parents in previous generations. 00:25:42.569 --> 00:25:45.309 They weren't as bound by things like nap time 00:25:45.309 --> 00:25:46.710 where it's like, oh, there's a birthday party, 00:25:46.789 --> 00:25:49.309 so we're going to go to that. Yeah. And they 00:25:49.309 --> 00:25:54.630 showed up a lot more where we don't or like generational 00:25:54.630 --> 00:25:58.269 millennials are less likely to show up to things, 00:25:58.349 --> 00:26:01.329 I guess. And obviously not just like the birthday 00:26:01.329 --> 00:26:02.789 parties, but that's kind of where it starts, 00:26:02.829 --> 00:26:05.569 right? That's how relationships start is you 00:26:05.569 --> 00:26:08.049 don't start in the weeds most of the time. Yeah. 00:26:08.069 --> 00:26:10.230 Like, oh, let's do the fun things together. And 00:26:10.230 --> 00:26:13.099 then we realize. Yeah. Like, oh, we kind of get 00:26:13.099 --> 00:26:16.160 along. Yeah. Now let's go in the weeds together. 00:26:16.160 --> 00:26:20.819 Yeah. It's so hard. I feel like I, like the easy 00:26:20.819 --> 00:26:24.339 side is to just stay home. For sure. And that's 00:26:24.339 --> 00:26:26.339 where I think I struggle because I'm like, it's 00:26:26.339 --> 00:26:29.380 like now with two kids, it's even harder to get 00:26:29.380 --> 00:26:31.059 out of the house. And if it's like. Getting two 00:26:31.059 --> 00:26:33.519 kids in car seats and out of car seats. Yeah. 00:26:33.519 --> 00:26:36.579 And if like, if my husband's at work or busy 00:26:36.579 --> 00:26:39.380 or, you know, something and it's just me getting 00:26:39.380 --> 00:26:42.319 it like. i don't want to do that to be honest 00:26:42.319 --> 00:26:45.079 and it depends on where you're going yeah it's 00:26:45.079 --> 00:26:48.640 like trying to go to a playground right now with 00:26:48.640 --> 00:26:51.920 the two of them by myself it depends on the playground 00:26:51.920 --> 00:26:55.079 yeah because there's lots of things lloyd can't 00:26:55.079 --> 00:26:57.599 do by himself so he wants help but then zeta 00:26:57.599 --> 00:26:59.500 has to either be like in the wrap or the stroller 00:26:59.500 --> 00:27:03.380 and so i can't yeah yeah yep exactly yeah i feel 00:27:03.380 --> 00:27:05.819 like one thing i always feel bad about right 00:27:05.819 --> 00:27:07.819 now because we are we've been doing a bunch of 00:27:07.819 --> 00:27:12.930 grocery pickups And usually we do Target, Target 00:27:12.930 --> 00:27:15.210 drive up. And every time I'm like, OK, cool, 00:27:15.250 --> 00:27:17.230 we're going to go to Target. He always goes, 00:27:17.329 --> 00:27:20.509 walk inside, walk inside. And I'm like, no, buddy, 00:27:20.670 --> 00:27:22.589 like I already ordered our groceries. We're just 00:27:22.589 --> 00:27:25.609 picking them up. And he gets so sad. And I'm 00:27:25.609 --> 00:27:29.769 like, it just seems so overwhelming to like go 00:27:29.769 --> 00:27:33.289 inside of Target with both kids. Yeah. But I 00:27:33.289 --> 00:27:35.910 feel so terrible because I'm like, well, yeah, 00:27:35.970 --> 00:27:39.150 we could walk inside, but. We're not going to. 00:27:39.930 --> 00:27:43.809 Sorry, baby. I know. I don't know what that had 00:27:43.809 --> 00:27:47.750 to do with Diggs Village. Yeah, I think things 00:27:47.750 --> 00:27:50.950 are overwhelming. Just getting out of routine 00:27:50.950 --> 00:27:56.609 and doing more. But I know this is a place I'm 00:27:56.609 --> 00:27:59.049 lacking. And I don't know if any of you guys 00:27:59.049 --> 00:28:03.509 listening to this have advice or if you guys 00:28:03.509 --> 00:28:05.710 feel like you're lacking in this area too. But 00:28:05.710 --> 00:28:08.609 I feel like... Really? This is just a cry for 00:28:08.609 --> 00:28:10.509 help for all of our listeners to give us advice. 00:28:11.150 --> 00:28:15.849 Help me. Be my friend. No, but I don't really 00:28:15.849 --> 00:28:20.150 know what to do other than just like trying to 00:28:20.150 --> 00:28:22.130 be okay with breaking the routine a little bit. 00:28:22.509 --> 00:28:24.670 Yeah. And that's where I struggle because I'm 00:28:24.670 --> 00:28:27.609 like, I'm such a routine person. Yeah. And with 00:28:27.609 --> 00:28:29.670 kids, it is hard when you get them out of routine 00:28:29.670 --> 00:28:33.890 for sure. Yeah. Yeah. So I did. find some statistics 00:28:33.890 --> 00:28:37.089 just in general fun so according to a study of 00:28:37.089 --> 00:28:40.150 western countries parents are spending more time 00:28:40.150 --> 00:28:43.769 with their kids now than in the 60s for example 00:28:43.769 --> 00:28:47.849 mothers averaged 54 minutes a day of child care 00:28:47.849 --> 00:28:53.089 in 1965 compared to 104 minutes a day in i guess 00:28:53.089 --> 00:28:58.029 this is 2012 okay so we're spending more time 00:28:58.029 --> 00:29:01.089 with our kids is part of it than historically 00:29:01.089 --> 00:29:04.670 which actually this is a side rant another thing 00:29:04.670 --> 00:29:07.230 i saw on the internet was i saw someone saying 00:29:07.230 --> 00:29:09.690 that the generation of gentle parents or the 00:29:09.690 --> 00:29:11.069 generation of parents who are saying they need 00:29:11.069 --> 00:29:13.809 a break which immediately i was like that doesn't 00:29:13.809 --> 00:29:16.710 sit right and this isn't like against or like 00:29:16.710 --> 00:29:18.609 for or against gentle parenting whatever you 00:29:18.609 --> 00:29:21.069 feel about that but then i realized it's like 00:29:21.069 --> 00:29:23.730 oh i've heard multiple statistics recently about 00:29:23.730 --> 00:29:26.779 how Millennial parents spend more time with their 00:29:26.779 --> 00:29:29.380 kids than any other generation. I don't think 00:29:29.380 --> 00:29:30.920 this has anything to do with parenting style. 00:29:31.500 --> 00:29:33.900 I think it's just how much time we're spending 00:29:33.900 --> 00:29:36.400 with our kids. We have a whole generation of 00:29:36.400 --> 00:29:38.619 people called latchkey kids because they just 00:29:38.619 --> 00:29:40.380 left their house and their parents never knew 00:29:40.380 --> 00:29:43.799 where they were. Which obviously is different 00:29:43.799 --> 00:29:48.319 for us with little kids. Different worlds. Back 00:29:48.319 --> 00:29:52.839 to statistics. A review of parenting literature 00:29:52.839 --> 00:29:56.460 speaks of intensification of parenting, meaning 00:29:56.460 --> 00:29:59.700 parents today are more involved structuring more 00:29:59.700 --> 00:30:02.019 of their child's lives and paying more attention 00:30:02.019 --> 00:30:05.599 to children's perspectives than parents historically 00:30:05.599 --> 00:30:07.940 did. I thought that was super interesting. That 00:30:07.940 --> 00:30:10.519 is interesting. I don't know how you feel. This 00:30:10.519 --> 00:30:14.140 isn't really on topic, but do you feel like you 00:30:14.140 --> 00:30:17.339 have to have activities? I do feel the pressure 00:30:17.339 --> 00:30:22.190 to. but does that happen a lot no i've been trying 00:30:22.190 --> 00:30:24.829 to have more activities for lloyd yeah but anytime 00:30:24.829 --> 00:30:27.470 he's like losing it i feel like i'm like i'm 00:30:27.470 --> 00:30:29.430 feeling his mom because i don't have like a structured 00:30:29.430 --> 00:30:32.930 activity for him to yeah and yeah again then 00:30:32.930 --> 00:30:35.430 you see and hear the moms who are like oh here 00:30:35.430 --> 00:30:38.509 are the 12 things we did today yeah i think we 00:30:38.509 --> 00:30:42.069 follow someone on instagram chaos with kara i 00:30:42.069 --> 00:30:45.450 think who's like very big into like setting up 00:30:45.450 --> 00:30:48.690 an activity like the night before so then the 00:30:48.690 --> 00:30:52.349 kids wake up to an activity which i'm like i'm 00:30:52.349 --> 00:30:55.109 all for that i started using some of her activities 00:30:55.109 --> 00:30:57.789 that's great so far lloyd's been interested for 00:30:57.789 --> 00:31:00.369 like 3 .2 seconds see that's my thing is i'm 00:31:00.369 --> 00:31:02.630 like working on that i'm like i'm gonna spend 00:31:02.630 --> 00:31:05.230 i don't know 15 20 minutes setting this up that 00:31:05.230 --> 00:31:07.130 is one thing for her is she doesn't have long 00:31:07.130 --> 00:31:09.589 setups for anything oh good that's that that 00:31:09.589 --> 00:31:11.950 is nice But I'm like, I'm going to spend this 00:31:11.950 --> 00:31:13.529 time setting this up and then you're going to 00:31:13.529 --> 00:31:20.009 not give like two about it, you know? And I don't 00:31:20.009 --> 00:31:22.349 really want to do that. Whether, you know, like 00:31:22.349 --> 00:31:25.410 rather he's just going to spend all this time 00:31:25.410 --> 00:31:28.730 playing in his play kitchen that he loves. Yeah. 00:31:29.130 --> 00:31:32.970 We built a year ago and he still loves. Or am 00:31:32.970 --> 00:31:35.349 I going to set up this activity and he's going 00:31:35.349 --> 00:31:38.990 to not care about it at all? Yeah. Yeah. But 00:31:38.990 --> 00:31:42.210 I'm all for the activities. It's just like, I 00:31:42.210 --> 00:31:45.690 think I need to buy more like art stuff. And 00:31:45.690 --> 00:31:48.309 we just don't have a lot of like that stuff, 00:31:48.410 --> 00:31:50.410 I guess. We have a lot of toys. I just bought 00:31:50.410 --> 00:31:52.529 a bunch of stuff like that. That's smart. Because 00:31:52.529 --> 00:31:54.349 we had a day that I was super overwhelmed. And 00:31:54.349 --> 00:31:58.450 I was like, I'm just, I'm buying all this so 00:31:58.450 --> 00:32:00.390 that we have activities. And we'll see if they 00:32:00.390 --> 00:32:02.910 work. Hopefully they do. Yeah, I bought like 00:32:02.910 --> 00:32:05.450 a coloring book and crayons not too long ago 00:32:05.450 --> 00:32:09.700 for him. He started coloring on the table, which 00:32:09.700 --> 00:32:12.980 is... To be expected. Yeah, of course. But then 00:32:12.980 --> 00:32:15.200 I'm like, it makes me not want to buy those things 00:32:15.200 --> 00:32:17.279 because I'm like, it creates a mess. And I'm 00:32:17.279 --> 00:32:20.140 like, I just, you know, I got to be okay with 00:32:20.140 --> 00:32:23.519 the mess. I think I need to get out of my OCD 00:32:23.519 --> 00:32:25.400 -ness a little bit. Yeah, I know I need to get 00:32:25.400 --> 00:32:27.740 out of that for a few things too. Yeah, it's 00:32:27.740 --> 00:32:30.759 so tough. But all that to say, I do feel the 00:32:30.759 --> 00:32:33.500 pressure a little bit to have the activities. 00:32:34.680 --> 00:32:37.259 And I think that's just social media has kind 00:32:37.259 --> 00:32:40.079 of put that pressure on me. But I mean, growing 00:32:40.079 --> 00:32:42.680 up, we never had anything like that. It was just 00:32:42.680 --> 00:32:46.720 like, I mean, you figure out like you, your imagination 00:32:46.720 --> 00:32:49.700 is your activity. Yeah. You have to do, you just 00:32:49.700 --> 00:32:53.920 figure it out. Yeah. I don't think like my parents 00:32:53.920 --> 00:32:56.839 are so great. My parents are so, so great. I 00:32:56.839 --> 00:32:59.769 don't think they, I ever woke up to like. hey, 00:32:59.769 --> 00:33:04.750 we put this felt activity for you to build this 00:33:04.750 --> 00:33:08.789 or to create this with. It was like, well, yeah, 00:33:08.910 --> 00:33:11.109 figure it out. You have toys, you have books. 00:33:11.329 --> 00:33:15.609 Yeah. Okay, some more statistics. The same Pew 00:33:15.609 --> 00:33:19.410 survey noted that many parents feel judged, 44 00:33:19.410 --> 00:33:21.210 % saying they feel judged by their own parents, 00:33:21.230 --> 00:33:24.710 at least sometimes, 41 % by their spouse's parents, 00:33:24.970 --> 00:33:30.339 and 35 % by their... by other parents which i 00:33:30.339 --> 00:33:32.400 thought was interesting that actually seems low 00:33:32.400 --> 00:33:36.660 to me i thought so too yeah i thought so too 00:33:36.660 --> 00:33:39.359 maybe they people felt would feel judged if they 00:33:39.359 --> 00:33:43.900 said yes but i thought that was interesting too 00:33:43.900 --> 00:33:48.079 and especially the other parents piece where 00:33:48.079 --> 00:33:50.539 it's like oh well if you feel judged then you're 00:33:50.539 --> 00:33:53.900 not gonna like open up as much and just be as 00:33:53.900 --> 00:33:56.400 vulnerable which then It means you don't have 00:33:56.400 --> 00:33:59.000 this community in the same way. Yeah. That is 00:33:59.000 --> 00:34:01.500 so true. Which I'm like, I'm trying to think 00:34:01.500 --> 00:34:05.140 for my own life. I think I agree with that being 00:34:05.140 --> 00:34:08.940 the least percentage on there. Yeah. Yeah. I 00:34:08.940 --> 00:34:11.960 don't know if I feel judged by other parents 00:34:11.960 --> 00:34:15.599 that are maybe in the same stage. Maybe if they 00:34:15.599 --> 00:34:19.260 have older kids. Okay. I would maybe feel. But 00:34:19.260 --> 00:34:21.739 I can't even think of a situation right now. 00:34:22.139 --> 00:34:26.269 Yeah. I think. There's definitely like a level 00:34:26.269 --> 00:34:29.610 of worry at this point where there's a lot of 00:34:29.610 --> 00:34:32.289 opinions on specific things that are so divided 00:34:32.289 --> 00:34:34.449 that I'm like, oh, I'm just not going to talk 00:34:34.449 --> 00:34:37.909 about that because I am worried that like not. 00:34:38.670 --> 00:34:41.010 that someone's already judging me but if i bring 00:34:41.010 --> 00:34:43.369 up like this is a decision we're making on this 00:34:43.369 --> 00:34:45.230 or that or that we're not making or whatever 00:34:45.230 --> 00:34:48.289 without saying what what you're thinking what 00:34:48.289 --> 00:34:51.050 is like an example i guess of okay so i think 00:34:51.050 --> 00:34:53.230 like a big one right now is schooling right it's 00:34:53.230 --> 00:34:55.349 like that's what i was thinking of public school 00:34:55.349 --> 00:34:57.789 private school yeah whatever like that's a big 00:34:57.789 --> 00:34:59.849 one like and of course i grew up homeschooled 00:34:59.849 --> 00:35:04.309 so i'm not super worried about it um like that's 00:35:04.309 --> 00:35:08.300 one or yeah screen time or like oh yeah do you 00:35:08.300 --> 00:35:09.960 have screen time do you not have screen time 00:35:09.960 --> 00:35:11.840 do you have limited screen time did you throw 00:35:11.840 --> 00:35:14.980 away your tv when you got pregnant whatever and 00:35:14.980 --> 00:35:18.099 i mean some of it is in my own head right where 00:35:18.099 --> 00:35:20.920 i'm like i know that almost no one is judging 00:35:20.920 --> 00:35:22.760 me for the fact that i had a really tough day 00:35:22.760 --> 00:35:25.059 so we put on cars last night yeah oh we watched 00:35:25.059 --> 00:35:27.860 cars last night too it's classic did that actually 00:35:27.860 --> 00:35:29.980 happen it actually happened okay well the funny 00:35:29.980 --> 00:35:33.809 thing is so This week's been rough and I'm pretty 00:35:33.809 --> 00:35:35.730 sure it's because we watched a bunch of movies 00:35:35.730 --> 00:35:38.090 last week. So it's like, okay, we're going to 00:35:38.090 --> 00:35:39.590 limit it. We're not going to watch a bunch of 00:35:39.590 --> 00:35:41.969 movies this week. Yeah. And I was doing really 00:35:41.969 --> 00:35:45.250 good. And then yesterday was. A day from hell. 00:35:45.369 --> 00:35:47.610 It was pretty rough. Yeah. And of course it was 00:35:47.610 --> 00:35:49.349 the day that Stuart was gone and the evening 00:35:49.349 --> 00:35:53.139 too. And our big problem is he comes home for 00:35:53.139 --> 00:35:55.880 like an hour and then he leaves and that makes 00:35:55.880 --> 00:35:57.639 it worse sometimes. I bet. It definitely made 00:35:57.639 --> 00:36:00.900 it worse last night. Yeah. And I was like, I'm 00:36:00.900 --> 00:36:02.440 going to try to do it. We're going to get to 00:36:02.440 --> 00:36:05.139 bedtime without watching a movie. We're going 00:36:05.139 --> 00:36:08.619 to do it. And then two minutes into dinner, Lloyd 00:36:08.619 --> 00:36:10.699 started crying. Zeta was crying because Lloyd 00:36:10.699 --> 00:36:13.960 was crying. And then I started crying. So I was 00:36:13.960 --> 00:36:19.030 like, nope. Cars it is. Cars it is. Randy Newman 00:36:19.030 --> 00:36:22.269 is going to make us all feel better today. That's 00:36:22.269 --> 00:36:25.090 amazing. But yeah, back, I guess, to like divided 00:36:25.090 --> 00:36:28.090 things. Yeah. Yeah. I think there's a lot of 00:36:28.090 --> 00:36:31.070 opinions that people feel very strongly about. 00:36:31.250 --> 00:36:34.809 Yeah. So it makes it really hard to want to be 00:36:34.809 --> 00:36:38.949 like open about certain things, you know? Yeah. 00:36:39.050 --> 00:36:41.369 It's like just easier to kind of keep quiet about 00:36:41.369 --> 00:36:44.369 those things. Yeah. Yeah. And then you like don't 00:36:44.369 --> 00:36:46.949 have connection because you're not really. Yeah. 00:36:47.440 --> 00:36:51.440 talking yep yep no i feel that 100 i feel like 00:36:51.440 --> 00:36:54.440 yeah especially i would say the schooling one 00:36:54.440 --> 00:36:56.880 for us is like a conversation we've been talking 00:36:56.880 --> 00:37:00.420 about a lot which is crazy to i mean colt is 00:37:00.420 --> 00:37:03.059 only two yeah but it's like we actually really 00:37:03.059 --> 00:37:05.280 need to start having this conversation right 00:37:05.280 --> 00:37:08.440 about what our plan is for schooling and i do 00:37:08.440 --> 00:37:11.380 feel like it's not necessarily a conversation 00:37:11.380 --> 00:37:15.840 we're bringing other people into because of Opinions. 00:37:15.840 --> 00:37:19.860 Opinions. And I think I, I can easily fall into 00:37:19.860 --> 00:37:22.920 people's opinions. Like, like I'm one of those 00:37:22.920 --> 00:37:25.619 people, like you can convince me to switch to 00:37:25.619 --> 00:37:27.820 the other side of things pretty easily if you 00:37:27.820 --> 00:37:30.639 have a good argument. Okay. Just, I don't know 00:37:30.639 --> 00:37:33.500 what it is. That's just my personality. I don't 00:37:33.500 --> 00:37:36.619 know. I'm the youngest of four siblings. And 00:37:36.619 --> 00:37:39.860 so I feel like they did that my whole life growing 00:37:39.860 --> 00:37:42.000 up. I don't know if that has anything to do with 00:37:42.000 --> 00:37:45.000 it. But I'm like, I feel like this is a conversation 00:37:45.000 --> 00:37:49.820 for just Michael and I. And I think that's just 00:37:49.820 --> 00:37:52.480 maybe the world we live in right now. Yeah. Yeah. 00:37:52.579 --> 00:37:57.159 And I think one of the hard things is and why 00:37:57.159 --> 00:38:00.079 I think a lot of people feel judgment is that 00:38:00.079 --> 00:38:01.980 like that's totally reasonable. That's just like 00:38:01.980 --> 00:38:03.679 there are lots of decisions that should just 00:38:03.679 --> 00:38:07.210 be. Yeah. As parents. but other people don't 00:38:07.210 --> 00:38:09.250 feel that way so they're like well i'm gonna 00:38:09.250 --> 00:38:11.750 tell you my opinion yeah and that makes it harder 00:38:11.750 --> 00:38:13.650 yeah because you're like oh now you're gonna 00:38:13.650 --> 00:38:16.409 judge me if yeah i do put my kids in this school 00:38:16.409 --> 00:38:20.409 or that school or neither whatever so then yeah 00:38:20.409 --> 00:38:24.730 i guess like that that support system drops yeah 00:38:24.730 --> 00:38:27.489 if you're not maybe if you're not getting that 00:38:27.489 --> 00:38:30.530 outside opinion in some sense i don't know yeah 00:38:30.530 --> 00:38:34.090 or if someone gets mad when you choose the quote 00:38:34.090 --> 00:38:37.329 -unquote wrong opinion wrong choice or yeah yeah 00:38:37.329 --> 00:38:39.610 but i thought that was all those statistics were 00:38:39.610 --> 00:38:42.369 super interesting very interesting and again 00:38:42.369 --> 00:38:45.070 the judgment one i felt like was low yeah i thought 00:38:45.070 --> 00:38:48.269 i had one on like how supported parents feel 00:38:48.269 --> 00:38:51.170 and i felt like that was also it seemed like 00:38:51.170 --> 00:38:54.070 it was low really just because of like the conversations 00:38:54.070 --> 00:38:57.889 i hear from like other moms and online about 00:38:58.590 --> 00:39:00.510 It feels like everyone's struggling and everyone 00:39:00.510 --> 00:39:03.050 doesn't have this like community that they want. 00:39:03.590 --> 00:39:08.190 Yeah. I don't know what the universal fix is 00:39:08.190 --> 00:39:12.690 for that, I guess. Yeah. I mean, I don't think 00:39:12.690 --> 00:39:16.489 there's like a universal one. Yeah. I think that 00:39:16.489 --> 00:39:20.289 the overall theme for me is like my intentionality 00:39:20.289 --> 00:39:23.409 needs to like needs to increase. Yeah. In those 00:39:23.409 --> 00:39:30.050 areas because. yes i'm tired yes like i'm desiring 00:39:30.050 --> 00:39:33.170 this but i'm not i would say i'm not really doing 00:39:33.170 --> 00:39:36.230 anything about it and the reality is is i don't 00:39:36.230 --> 00:39:39.289 have my family in town so like that side of it 00:39:39.289 --> 00:39:43.010 is just it's not present it's not there and that's 00:39:43.010 --> 00:39:46.269 and that's okay but like then my intentionality 00:39:46.269 --> 00:39:49.650 to to find this village or to find the support 00:39:49.650 --> 00:39:53.429 system needs to increase and that's something 00:39:53.429 --> 00:39:56.179 that because we live away from family that like 00:39:56.179 --> 00:39:58.920 I've kind of quote unquote signed up for sure 00:39:58.920 --> 00:40:02.699 in a sense yeah without yeah actually signing 00:40:02.699 --> 00:40:05.320 up for it you know yeah that wasn't your intention 00:40:05.320 --> 00:40:09.659 no it's part of what happened yeah yeah yeah 00:40:09.659 --> 00:40:12.719 I thought the perspective of like we need to 00:40:12.719 --> 00:40:14.719 be better villagers in order to have a village 00:40:14.719 --> 00:40:17.920 made a lot of sense to me yeah and it's also 00:40:17.920 --> 00:40:19.860 super annoying so it's like well what if I don't 00:40:19.860 --> 00:40:23.699 want to I know. That sounds bad because it's 00:40:23.699 --> 00:40:25.880 not that I don't want to. It's just that, like, 00:40:25.900 --> 00:40:28.320 I want it to exist before I've tried anything, 00:40:28.539 --> 00:40:31.920 I think is more what it is. Like, yeah, I'd be 00:40:31.920 --> 00:40:34.300 happy to be a support system if you're already 00:40:34.300 --> 00:40:36.900 the support system for me instead of, like, taking 00:40:36.900 --> 00:40:41.079 that step out and, like, oh, maybe this isn't 00:40:41.079 --> 00:40:42.920 going to work out and I'm going to have bought 00:40:42.920 --> 00:40:46.079 you coffee for no reason. But, yeah, I thought 00:40:46.079 --> 00:40:47.400 that was super interesting and really good. That 00:40:47.400 --> 00:40:50.500 is very interesting. Yeah. We do a – tumbling 00:40:50.500 --> 00:40:53.360 class with colt on saturday mornings and there's 00:40:53.360 --> 00:40:56.280 like a bunch of other parents and moms and it's 00:40:56.280 --> 00:40:59.699 all like a like two year olds two to three year 00:40:59.699 --> 00:41:02.420 olds in the class and i'm like there's so many 00:41:02.420 --> 00:41:05.920 moms you know right here that like i don't know 00:41:05.920 --> 00:41:09.179 i could chat with or exchange numbers with and 00:41:09.179 --> 00:41:11.880 i just i'm like just staying in my little bubble 00:41:12.969 --> 00:41:14.969 Yeah. It's so hard. I've always had a really 00:41:14.969 --> 00:41:18.090 hard time in situations like that too. Yes. Yeah. 00:41:18.449 --> 00:41:21.250 So if you guys have any advice on any of that, 00:41:21.289 --> 00:41:23.690 we'll take it. Let us know. And if you feel the 00:41:23.690 --> 00:41:25.929 same way, like, I think that would be interesting 00:41:25.929 --> 00:41:28.590 to find out. Like, I don't think we're alone 00:41:28.590 --> 00:41:31.409 in this and feeling like we don't have this like 00:41:31.409 --> 00:41:34.369 community that we long for. Yeah. I think this 00:41:34.369 --> 00:41:37.829 topic is very universal, I guess, to say that 00:41:37.829 --> 00:41:42.480 again. we're as moms we all no matter what season 00:41:42.480 --> 00:41:46.059 of life you're in like yes it takes a village 00:41:46.059 --> 00:41:50.440 is so um like cliche like you said but it is 00:41:50.440 --> 00:41:53.719 so true it's like yeah you need that support 00:41:53.719 --> 00:41:56.420 system and if you don't have it like you're probably 00:41:56.420 --> 00:42:00.219 more exhausted maybe than you than you need to 00:42:00.219 --> 00:42:04.380 be yeah yeah but uh yeah give us your advice 00:42:04.380 --> 00:42:07.179 we'd love for you guys to to let us know what 00:42:07.179 --> 00:42:09.599 you're doing outside of kind of what we mentioned 00:42:09.599 --> 00:42:12.440 today yeah yeah maybe we'll post some stuff on 00:42:12.440 --> 00:42:15.219 stories and get see how other people are feeling 00:42:15.219 --> 00:42:18.280 yeah yeah you guys can see yep you're not alone 00:42:18.280 --> 00:42:21.159 you're not alone we're in it together even if 00:42:21.159 --> 00:42:24.619 we're not hanging out all the time yeah okay 00:42:24.619 --> 00:42:28.579 well should we hop into our wins of the week 00:42:28.579 --> 00:42:30.780 sure do you want to go first i would love to 00:42:31.869 --> 00:42:34.869 I don't think I've talked about this before. 00:42:34.949 --> 00:42:37.789 Maybe I did. I think this is maybe a conversation 00:42:37.789 --> 00:42:41.389 we just had outside of this. So we just switched 00:42:41.389 --> 00:42:45.869 Colt to a big boy bed. And meaning we just because 00:42:45.869 --> 00:42:49.889 Cruz needs the crib now. And so we moved our 00:42:49.889 --> 00:42:52.969 guest bed into Colt's room, but just like put 00:42:52.969 --> 00:42:56.130 it on the floor. So it's just. Like this massive 00:42:56.130 --> 00:42:59.110 bed for this little tiny boy. Perfect. And it's 00:42:59.110 --> 00:43:02.550 so cute and he looks so little in it. But yeah, 00:43:02.550 --> 00:43:05.869 we just put it on the ground. And it honestly, 00:43:06.130 --> 00:43:09.090 like Colt has never been a good sleeper and I've 00:43:09.090 --> 00:43:11.329 talked about it. a lot of times on this podcast 00:43:11.329 --> 00:43:15.349 but this has like opened up the ability for us 00:43:15.349 --> 00:43:18.230 to just go in there and lay with him and he's 00:43:18.230 --> 00:43:20.130 kind of in this stage right now where like he 00:43:20.130 --> 00:43:22.769 wants us to lay with him until he falls asleep 00:43:22.769 --> 00:43:26.590 which i just saw a reel about uh this is a tangent 00:43:26.590 --> 00:43:29.710 but i just saw a reel that like around this age 00:43:29.710 --> 00:43:32.469 is like the age where they're kind of connecting 00:43:32.469 --> 00:43:37.130 sleep with like am i safe Yeah. And so, yeah, 00:43:37.230 --> 00:43:38.969 it was like talking about like you shouldn't 00:43:38.969 --> 00:43:41.510 necessarily try to resleep train. You shouldn't 00:43:41.510 --> 00:43:46.230 like just let them like cry. But like giving 00:43:46.230 --> 00:43:48.809 that connection and security is like the most 00:43:48.809 --> 00:43:51.329 important thing for them at this stage. And so 00:43:51.329 --> 00:43:54.289 I think like we were really hesitant to switch 00:43:54.289 --> 00:43:57.309 his crib to the big boy bed. And I'm super grateful 00:43:57.309 --> 00:43:59.570 that we did because it gives us that ability 00:43:59.570 --> 00:44:02.530 to support him more and to like help him through 00:44:02.530 --> 00:44:06.320 that. And yes, it. it is not great to be able 00:44:06.320 --> 00:44:08.880 like to have to lay there for like 45 minutes 00:44:08.880 --> 00:44:10.440 while he's falling asleep. Cause then you're 00:44:10.440 --> 00:44:12.820 like, do I just go to bed now? The amount of 00:44:12.820 --> 00:44:14.539 times that Michael has fallen asleep in there 00:44:14.539 --> 00:44:16.400 and like woken up at like two in the morning 00:44:16.400 --> 00:44:19.559 and tried to sneak out and come to bed has been. 00:44:19.960 --> 00:44:21.940 I can't even count. Every night. Yeah. Practically 00:44:21.940 --> 00:44:23.480 every night. Like I'll text him and be like, 00:44:23.559 --> 00:44:25.699 are you awake? And I don't get a response. And 00:44:25.699 --> 00:44:28.980 I'm like, no, he's clearly asleep. And that's 00:44:28.980 --> 00:44:31.940 okay. So all that to say, it's been a win for 00:44:31.940 --> 00:44:35.280 us to switch him into the big boy bed. He hasn't 00:44:35.280 --> 00:44:37.440 really, like he's fallen out a couple of times. 00:44:37.519 --> 00:44:40.699 So I bought one of those like bed bumpers. But 00:44:40.699 --> 00:44:43.960 yeah, it's been a good thing for us to switch 00:44:43.960 --> 00:44:46.280 it. That's so great. Yeah. Yeah. How about you? 00:44:46.739 --> 00:44:50.750 So last Saturday, I think it was. Zeta was down 00:44:50.750 --> 00:44:53.670 for a nap and then Stuart had some stuff he had 00:44:53.670 --> 00:44:55.369 to get done. So I was like, I'm just going to 00:44:55.369 --> 00:44:57.889 take, actually it was Stuart's idea, just to 00:44:57.889 --> 00:45:00.150 like take Lloyd on a little like mom Lloyd date. 00:45:00.210 --> 00:45:02.670 Oh, cute. And so we went to Starbucks. He did 00:45:02.670 --> 00:45:04.849 not care about the steamer at all. Could not 00:45:04.849 --> 00:45:06.909 care less, but he was all about the cake pop. 00:45:07.050 --> 00:45:09.789 Oh, for sure. And then we just, we went to the 00:45:09.789 --> 00:45:12.289 children's museum that we have a membership to. 00:45:12.429 --> 00:45:15.250 So it was like not a place that was new or exciting, 00:45:15.389 --> 00:45:18.269 but we almost never go just him and me. Yeah. 00:45:19.070 --> 00:45:21.809 either like the whole family or if it's just 00:45:21.809 --> 00:45:24.750 us then Zayda's with us yeah so it was super 00:45:24.750 --> 00:45:27.030 fun to just like be able to go just the two of 00:45:27.030 --> 00:45:29.250 us and probably did like do all the things with 00:45:29.250 --> 00:45:31.389 him and interact yeah yeah like I'm not just 00:45:31.389 --> 00:45:33.750 like sitting holding Zayda like good job buddy 00:45:33.750 --> 00:45:35.769 like we're actually playing together a little 00:45:35.769 --> 00:45:38.449 bit more yeah that's cute and it was just super 00:45:38.449 --> 00:45:41.050 fun and I do want to make it more of a regular 00:45:41.050 --> 00:45:43.769 thing I said this because I did something similar 00:45:43.769 --> 00:45:45.809 like back in the summer and I was like I can 00:45:45.809 --> 00:45:47.869 do this once a month yeah all of a sudden it's 00:45:48.679 --> 00:45:50.960 october november yeah this is the first time 00:45:50.960 --> 00:45:53.309 it's happening again but It was just really sweet 00:45:53.309 --> 00:45:56.070 and really fun. That is sweet. I need to do that 00:45:56.070 --> 00:45:58.070 with Colt. That would be really sweet. I feel 00:45:58.070 --> 00:45:59.909 like it's super valuable, especially for the 00:45:59.909 --> 00:46:02.869 older kiddo who like. Who's desiring that. Yeah. 00:46:02.989 --> 00:46:05.409 That like full attention. Yeah. Where it's like 00:46:05.409 --> 00:46:07.869 Zeta gets that more because I nurse her and that 00:46:07.869 --> 00:46:09.869 kind of stuff. Yeah. Yeah. So that was super 00:46:09.869 --> 00:46:14.210 fun. That's sweet. Well, yeah. Thanks for tuning 00:46:14.210 --> 00:46:16.829 in, guys. Like I said, we'll post some stuff 00:46:16.829 --> 00:46:19.170 on social media. We'd love for you to interact 00:46:19.170 --> 00:46:21.980 and let us know kind of what your village. looks 00:46:21.980 --> 00:46:24.960 like but uh yeah thanks for tuning in follow 00:46:24.960 --> 00:46:27.619 us at no manual podcast on instagram and we'll 00:46:27.619 --> 00:46:30.059 see you next week we'll see you next week well 00:46:30.059 --> 00:46:33.340 that's enough oversharing for today if you enjoyed 00:46:33.340 --> 00:46:35.440 hanging out with us hit subscribe so you don't 00:46:35.440 --> 00:46:38.420 miss the next round of chaos and if you're listening 00:46:38.420 --> 00:46:40.559 while hiding in the bathroom from your kids no 00:46:40.559 --> 00:46:43.019 judgment we see you thanks for joining us on 00:46:43.019 --> 00:46:46.360 no manual mom cast where motherhood is messy 00:46:46.360 --> 00:46:48.719 at least we can laugh about it together