Hi, everyone. Welcome back to No Manual, a mom
cast where this is a place for moms to listen
and connect and hear the realities of motherhood.
And today we are talking about something that
I feel like both of us really can kind of connect
to in a sense. And I know many of our listeners
if not the majority probably turns out it's just
us yeah it's actually just us um but i i don't
know i don't hope that you you have gone through
this but um we're talking about mom rage yeah
today so yeah i hope you haven't gone through
this but if you have i hope us talking about
it makes you feel less alone yeah hopefully it
makes you feel like a better mom because The
majority of us are probably walking through this
a little bit. But before we kind of hop into
that topic, you want to start with your mom moment?
Why don't you start with yours because mine is
a really good entry. Okay, great. Perfect. Okay,
so mine kind of relates to mom rage a little
bit, and I think we'll probably chat a little
bit more about this. But bedtime right now, I've
talked about it. and past podcasts. I've talked
about it in past podcasts about just like our
bedtime routine right now is kind of all over
the place with colds. Some nights go well, some
nights really don't. Um, and especially on, um,
nights where I'm putting the kids to sleep on
my own, I feel like those are for sure the nights
they don't go, it doesn't go out every time.
Yeah. So, um, Last week, my parents were in town
and it was actually on Michael's birthday, which
happened to fall on a Wednesday, which meant
he was at youth group. I ended up taking Colt
to youth group to surprise Michael, which meant
that we got home late. And my parents watched
cruise for me so that we could go and do that.
Then they ended up leaving. This was probably
like. 9 15 at night so i'm like okay now i gotta
get colt to bed i took him to youth group in
his pajamas so i didn't have to change him into
his into his jammies which was i thought was
like i'm the best mom i thought about this beforehand
so then my parents leave i start to get colt
down for bed and he like by the sixth book that
we read he was he kept asking for more and more
books and i was like nobody like I already told
you this was the last book. And at that point,
I felt like my anxiety was starting to build
up. And Cruz was crying because he was so hungry.
And I like tried to put Colt down to bed. And
Colt was just like freaking out, full on tantrum.
Cruz is freaking out in the other room. I could
tell he wants to eat. So I'm like, okay, fine.
I was like, I have got to feed Cruz. And so I
like. bring Colt to my room, start to feed Cruz.
And Colt is like freaking out on the bed, signing
eat. He's like, eat, eat. And I'm like, are you
hungry, buddy? And he's like, yes. And so I'm
like, okay, let's go get you a piece of bread,
get him a piece of bread, bring him back up to
my room. He's eating this piece of sourdough
bread while crying on my bed, getting crumbs
everywhere on the bed, which is one of my pet
peeves. I hate crumbs in bed. And I'm feeding
Cruz to sleep, which, like, that was fine. And
I'm just like, oh, my gosh, it's like 945 at
night at this point. And finally, like, put Cruz
down, get Colt back into his room, end up putting
him in his crib, lay there, hold his hand until
he falls asleep. So that was my mom. That's great.
Mine is similar. Really? Okay, let's hear it.
our fifth wedding anniversary was this week oh
happy anniversary uh so and so we had like an
actual date night on the weekend nice um because
our anniversary landed on a wednesday so like
that's not really like date night but we were
like you know let's just like after the kids
go to bed we're gonna like snuggle close on the
couch watch something like just like kind of
have some intentional time together um that was
not in the cards oh and we moved kids into the
same room at night which had been going well
for the first few nights okay um but so we like
put lloyd down we're like okay i'm gonna feed
zeta to sleep and i'll bring her back okay buddy
and so then she nursed for like half an hour
like okay longer than normal but like whatever
yeah and then lloyd starts crying upstairs and
like this is happening stewart's in the middle
of something so i'm like i just have like zeta's
in the middle of eating so i kind of just have
to let him cry for right now yeah stewart finally
came upstairs and he was like okay like i'll
go check on lloyd he goes he gets him down i
go put zeta down we like get comfy on the couch
put whatever on And then, like, a few minutes
later, Lloyd is up crying. And he's usually pretty
good at getting himself to sleep, which I think
is part of why this was, like, so frustrating.
I feel like this is not normal. So I was like,
okay, I'll go up. And I go up, like, you okay,
buddy? Because I'm like, I also don't want you
to wake up Zeta because then we have two kids
to get back to sleep. I go up there and there's
a mom hug. Like, okay, like, of course I'll give
you a mom hug. So I, like, pick him up. He stops
crying. And then I think. That time I, like,
sat him down. I was like, okay, buddy, like,
go to sleep now, whatever. Go back downstairs
another, like, five, ten minutes. He starts crying
again. So I go upstairs, check on him. I'm like,
dad, hug. I'm like, okay, we'll go get dad. So
we're like, go downstairs. He wants you. Okay.
Dad puts him back down. He goes back down. starts
crying again and zeta's sleeping through all
of this time zeta wakes up so now they're both
awake and now we're trying to get two kids back
to sleep so and we're like lloyd what's going
on like yeah are you hungry are you cold do you
have to go potty like going through the list
and he just won't say anything yeah like it's
sad you won't even say like no or yes or like
hungry like he's giving us nothing so we're like
i don't like i don't even know how to help you
buddy and then finally i don't even remember
how many times we went back up and down but the
only thing that helped is stewart took lloyd
into our bed and waited till lloyd fell asleep
on him i nursed dana back to sleep got her down
and then once lloyd was like finally conked on
stewart he was able to get him into his crib
and that was after 10 p .m oh gosh so that was
how our yeah and by that time you're like let's
go to bed no i was like i need something i mean
like i have not had two seconds to just like
unwind so we watched just an episode of brooklyn
nine nine to have something happy and then that's
how the week has been he doesn't want to like
i don't know if he's teething or going through
a growth spurt or like separation anxiety separation
anxiety my only theory Kind of right now is that
since, like, he knows that I take Zeta and, like,
nurse her to sleep if he's, if it's almost jealousy
of, like, he wants someone to hold him to sleep,
too. So if we need to, like, find a balance of,
like, maybe I nurse her in their room and he
snuggles or something like that, I might try
that tonight. Yeah. That's so true. I'm sure
that's so hard, like, as an older sibling of,
like, you're seeing mom who, like, comfort. comforted
you to sleep so many times and it's like i'm
sure it's a jealousy that he can't like put his
finger on one because you can't they like don't
have the logic of like zeta eats every two hours
or you know like he doesn't know this that like
she's treated different because she has different
needs right now yeah it almost looks like a rip
like a replacement yeah replacement or favoritism
or something like that so sad oh so yeah that's
the only theory i have because it happened again
well last night we didn't do the like back and
forth. It was like, Stuart's like, I'm just going
to go up and hold him. And so Lloyd fell asleep
on Stuart in his chair this time. So then I was
like, I wonder if that might be, or if it, and
it could be like a mixture of things, right?
Where it's like, that's part of it. And there's
a growth spurt in his tummy or whatever. I'm
sure like growing pains is a real thing at this
age too. Like they cannot tell you that. Like
literally your bones and your legs are like stretching.
growing that yeah so and you don't know why when
you're that little yeah uh it could be a combo
of things but yeah yeah i mean i feel you we're
we're kind of in that too so yeah so fun well
that kind of leads us into how we wanted to start
this episode yes you sent me a reel that was
very funny um and it was would you rather have
Your toddler throw a two -hour tantrum in public.
Is it every day for a week? Every day for two
weeks. For two weeks. Or have bedtime take four
hours every day for a month. Yeah. Oh, I would
rather the two -hour tantrum in public all day.
All day. Me too. Yeah, I would definitely take
that too. Why is that for you? So I don't know
what it is about bedtime right now. Bedtime.
If it's stretched out, I think it's because it's
the end of the day. I'm tired. I'm looking forward
to a little bit of me time or a little bit of
me and Michael time. And if it stretches out
any longer, I'm going to lose my mind. And I
think that when bedtime is dragged out, my anxiety
builds up so much quicker. And those moments,
especially like, like I mentioned in my mom moment,
like, especially if Cruz is crying too. And like,
I feel like I need to help him, but I can't because
I'm like helping Colt. I like my anxiety builds
up so quickly in those moments versus a tantrum.
Yes. In a public place is like a whole nother
like added layer to it. Cause like in a public
place, like there is, I feel like judgment from
people of like. Probably less than we think,
but it's still there. And you also don't want
to like make other people uncomfortable. No,
but like, yeah, I feel like a tantrum. I feel
like I'm starting to like learn and accept tantrums
a little bit better slash differently as time
is going on and like figuring them out a little
bit more. But I think, yeah, I think there's
something about tantrums that I'm like, I don't
know, like my anxiety doesn't build up as quickly.
Yeah. What about you? No, I would definitely
take the tantrum over the time. And I was like
trying to figure out why that is. And I think
it's similar. And like, this is like a weird
analogy thought process, but I was like, it's
like, so I worked at Starbucks because everyone's
worked at Starbucks in their life. I've worked
at Starbucks. Yeah. And like, it's kind of, it'd
be comparing like, if you had a customer come
in and yell at you because you got their drink
wrong, you know, that's part of the job. It's
not your favorite part of the job. It sucks.
You're like, come on, you're already spending
$10 on coffee. You can at least be nice to me
when you're telling me it's wrong. Or I know
that you ordered it wrong. Like whatever it is,
it's annoying. Not the best part of the job,
but you kind of know that it's part of the job.
Yeah. But like if you were like, hey boss, so
I'm off next five minutes. Do you need anything
else? And they're like, yeah, can you do this
one last thing? Sure, no problem. And then that
just kept happening. They're like, okay, I brewed
the coffee you asked. They're like, cool. another
thing another thing another thing but you also
can't say no yes so you're like okay now i was
supposed to be off an hour ago and you keep asking
me to do things and i my whole shift i was looking
forward to just getting off yeah when i was like
frustrated it's like it's okay i'm so close to
being off and that's what bedtime feels like
yes it's like okay i'm finally to the point in
the day when it's like I mean, you're never really
off the clock as a mom, but like the closest
thing you get to being off the clock, like I
can take a breath, I can decompress. It makes
me a better mom because I can decompress and
like take some time to myself or again, like
me and Stuart watch something funny, like read
my book, whatever. Yeah. So like you finally,
you're like looking forward to just like taking
a breath and then it's like that breath never
gets to come. Yes. And. Yeah. You're getting
less and less time because then there also comes
a point where you're like, I have to go to sleep.
Yeah. So the later you're up, the less time I
have to like – Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and I feel like
in the delayed bedtime thing that we're going
through right now, it's like they're clearly
overtired. Yes. And I'm clearly overtired too.
Yeah, where you want to be like, dude, if you
went to sleep, it would fix this feeling that
you – have right now yeah yeah last night uh
colt was like having a tantrum and um he went
into our guest bathroom and then closed the door
behind him thankfully it doesn't have a lock
on it but then he laid down in the bathroom and
like yeah in front of the door and he was like
crying but then i could hear him like starting
to try to fall asleep too and i was like uh -uh
this is not like at least if you're gonna fall
asleep in the bathroom at least Not in front
of the door. Yeah. Cause I'm like, I had literally
to like push him out of the way to open the door.
But no, I feel that 100 % bedtime. Like we used
to have a really fast bedtime routine. At least
I thought it was fast. And now it's like a, let
me read these same 12 books. Then let me turn
on your sound machine, turn off the light. Let's
pray 14 times. Then I'll put you down. Maybe
pick you back up. That's like why this week has
been so frustrating where it takes so long is
because usually like we have a quick bedtime.
Yeah. Lloyd maybe doesn't fall asleep right away,
but he just like chills in his crib. Yeah. I'm
like, I get it. Like I need to decompress too.
And like this is his way of like calming down
from the day or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. And now
it's like a whole different challenge. Yeah.
So do you feel like, okay, so like hopping into.
Our topic of mom rage. I feel like there's a
difference between rage and anger. Yeah. So I
like actually looked it up. What is the difference
between rage and anger? And according to Google,
so anger is a temporary emotion. It's controllable
and it has specific triggers. Rage is intense
and explosive. You have a loss of control. It
can be destructive. And rage is usually fueled
by accumulated pain, layered hurts, and past
experiences, which I thought was super interesting.
That is very interesting. So like, I guess, do
you feel like you can tell the difference from
when you're like, I'm just angry versus like
rageful? Oh, absolutely. Yeah. I feel like specifically,
like definitely the uncontrollable, like the
way that I've kind of labeled it in my head is
like it's an outburst. Yes. it is totally uncontrollable
when i think it's like if you haven't experienced
it and you heard someone say that you're like
just like be a better person yeah like i think
if someone had told me that two years ago and
they were like yeah like i just have these like
outbursts of anger where i can't control myself
i'd be like that seems like a personal problem
that you need to work on yeah but there are times
for me where Like I told you this before we started
recording. I literally broke a pair of glasses
one time, which I think Stuart is still mad at
me for. Oh, was it his glasses? No, it was mine
glasses. But I think he's still mad that I did
it. Yeah, because it was just like this moment
of like so much anger that like it has to go
somewhere. Yeah. And you have to do something
tangible. Yes. In that moment. And it's like.
whatever that tangible thing is it happens and
you don't even really realize you did at least
that's how it's been for me is it's like like
with that example i like threw my glasses across
the room and it was like as they were leaving
my hand i was like what the heck am i doing like
this isn't me this isn't how i respond to things
but like it's happening and then like after it
happened it was like what why did i do that and
then you're so mad at yourself yeah or like Almost
like who was that two seconds ago? Like that's
not me. So like what is happening here? What
happened? Like what chemical imbalance or like
chemical firing was happening in my brain to
like have that happen? It feels like something
else is controlling you at that point. And it's
like a bizarre feeling. And it's unsettling too
because you're like, I want to be in control
of my actions. And like I know that ultimately
I am, but in this moment it doesn't feel like
that. Yeah. Yeah. And I feel like, I don't know
for you, like it's a very quick, like risk, I
don't know, a quick outburst. Like if I feel
like I can relate it also to, um, like for someone
who may not understand what we're talking about
is I can relate it to like anxiety. Like anxiety
is not something that, um, is controllable and
it can build up and it can build up and then
you can, you can kind of break. I feel like.
For me, there's like a specific time where I
feel like I have this mom rage mostly and it
is during bedtime. And I don't know for you if
you feel like there's like specific instances
or times. I don't know if there's like, maybe
there are specific times. I know I can tell like
if I'm hungry, which of course is the worst because
usually if I'm hungry, that means Floyd's hungry
and he's like. Yeah. grumpy and hangry and stuff
like that yeah so i know like and i've always
gotten hangry so like that is something for me
for sure like even today there's at one point
where i was like i know i just need to eat lunch
yeah but then also like you were throwing things
that you're not supposed to be throwing and you
know and you're slamming things against the wall
yeah so like that i don't know if that's like
a trigger like yeah yeah one of the causes i
feel that and then i think uh one of the like
toughest times of day for me just in general
is Stuart gets home and of course he he's a carpenter
so he works with chemicals and stuff all day
so he immediately showers and there's like this
half an hour that he obviously deserves and should
have like yeah first of all it's hygiene but
also like he deserves to like come home and decompress
from work before he like jumps into with the
kids but Lloyd sees him and then he just wants
dad. And so nothing I do is good enough. And
he's like, we're throwing tantrums over everything.
It's also getting close to dinner time. So he's
getting hungry. And yeah, so that's usually like
a rough time. And really just like the time leading
up to Stuart getting home. Like, I feel like
it's a joke. It's been a long day. But like the
three to like bedtime time frame for whatever
reason. Oh, gosh. Yeah. Is the roughest. Yeah.
For us, it's like. totally determined on how
the nap was. If you took a 45 minute nap, I know
this is going to be a rough rest of the day.
Yeah. Yeah. But anytime we're getting close to
like sleeping time for us seems to be the hardest.
And there's a fine line of like, okay, we're
going to make it to bedtime, like on a good note.
There's a fine line if we accidentally cross
it if it's like 15 minutes later. Yep. Overtired
kicks in and then like nobody's happy. And I
feel like for me that's when this mom rage I
feel like comes out in me a little bit more.
And it is specific. I feel like specific with
bedtime especially if Cruz. is crying as well.
Cause then you're also getting overstimulated.
Yeah. I'm getting overstimulated and I feel like
I need to help. Like I need to help both kids
and I feel like I'm, I don't have the capacity
to help both kids in the, in that moment. So
then I have to choose and I don't like to choose.
And that's what I feel like it kind of like boils
up in me. And then you're like, am I choosing
the wrong kid? Yeah. And then I have this outburst
of like, okay, I just need to like, I've got
to like, Throw this anger somewhere, like whether
I hit this pillow or, you know, like yell at
my child. Yeah, I want to scream. Like I got
to choose something in that moment. And like,
like you said, like right after it happens or
like even during in my head, like I'm like, what
the heck is happening? And then there's immediate
like I'm. I feel terrible. I'm like, I'm a terrible
mom. Like that's like, yeah, I don't want my
kids to like think that I'm that mom or like
experience that mom. Right. Yeah. I'm like, I
don't want this to be a core memory for them.
Right. More recently, I feel like I've just had
to like almost walk away. I'm like, I need to
put my children in a safe place and I just need,
I need to walk away and I just need to breathe
for a second. Yeah. And then I can like compose
myself and go back into whatever tantrum or bedtime
or whatever is happening. Yeah. I just, I don't
know. I'm like, is this, does it have to do with
hormones? I don't know. Yeah. I mean, I'm sure
that has an effect, right? Yeah. To like. Like
I said, when I saw the, like, definition, I guess,
of rage, and one of the things it said is it's
fueled by accumulated pain, layered hurts, or
past experiences. Do you feel like you can, like,
make any of those connections with, like, when
you are experiencing it? Not when I'm experiencing
it. Sure, sure. Not, like, in the moment. But,
like, do you think when you're, like, looking
at that, like, okay, this is what happened. Do
you feel like you could like follow the string
back or anything like that? Yeah, I do. I feel
like, and this is all specific with Colt right
now, unfortunately. Yeah, I feel the same way.
I mean, he's our toddler. He's two. So he's like,
he's testing all the boundaries, testing my patients,
testing Michael's patients. Like he's learning.
And so I'm like. We're right in the thick of
that. Yeah, right in the thick of it. And I'm
like, I have to remind myself of that. Like,
okay, he's. Like this is all a learning experience
for him. And that is one thing that I have to
remind myself all the time is like he's only
two. I feel like my child is really smart and
I have to like remind myself that he's only two
all the time and that he's not five years old.
Yeah, that he's still learning and he's still
figuring things out. Yeah. And like we try to
talk to him like he's a big kid and I feel like
I have to remind myself that he's two. Anyways,
I'm going on a tangent. feel like after like
an outburst or like I feel like I can track it
back of just whether it's me being overtired
me being hungry and not a lot of it I think has
to do with like the outbursts happen on days
where I'm solo parenting longer like those 12
plus hour days are when they pop up for me mostly
I think When I was prepping for this, one of
the things I realized, because that's totally
true for me too. And just in general, it's worse
when I'm alone. Like the same things could happen
with other people around. And it's not just that
like I'd be ashamed to react that way in front
of someone else. I mean, I'm sure that's like
part of it in my head somewhere. But it's like,
no, I feel calm. Like the rage isn't there when
other people are around. I think one of the things
I realized just in general is like frustrating
things are just inherently worse when you're
alone. Yeah. So imagine if we had, we went on
a girl's trip and it was like plane was delayed.
You know, we got lost on the way to the hotel.
They messed up our reservation, all of these
things. We'd both be super annoyed and super
pissed, but we'd finally like get in our room
and get our takeout and we'd laugh about it.
And like, you know, you would handle the like
plane getting delayed and I would handle that.
And, you know, and. It would, we could like carry
each other's burdens and we'd get over it. Yep.
But like, I know if I went on a trip by myself
and all of those same things happened, I'd get
to the hotel room and call Stuart in tears for
like, this has been the worst day of my life.
Yes. And I feel like that's a lot of what, especially
being a mom home with your kids is and like where
that comes from a lot of times. And it's like,
if someone else was here with me, one. Then when
I tell Lloyd to get down off the table 10 times,
you're saying it five times and I'm saying it
five times. Yes. Or, you know, there's a little
bit of a balance in like the burden of that frustration.
Yeah. Or just like, I can laugh with you because
like this, you know, yes, it's annoying and frustrating,
but at least we're experiencing it together.
Yeah. Where when you're alone, you're just, you
just have to deal. And like, yeah, you have to
get out of this on your own. You're not tag -teaming
it. Yeah, and I think that's one of the hardest
things for me is just, like, the being alone
part. Because, again, there are things that when
Stuart's home, I'm like, if I was alone, I would
be about to blow. But because you're here, like,
even if he's not the one handling it, even if
he's just, like, in the background. And then
that's the other thing as a mom. Kids listen
to their dads way better. Yes. I've talked to
my mom about this. I've talked to, like, other
parents who have older kids, like, in high school.
They're, like, still, like, we have some friends,
and they have, I think, two middle schoolers
and a high schooler. And the dad was, like, yeah,
mom will say, hey, like, kids, time for bed,
go to bed. And they'll just, like, sit there.
And then she'll be, like, can you ask them? And
he does. And they go right to bed. Okay, right
to bed. So, like, that's another thing. I'm,
like, Lloyd, you know. dad tells him to get off
the table he does it maybe not immediately but
it's not like quite as funny and quite as much
of a game it's like i tell him it's like colt
will literally laugh in my face and i'm like
oh that that is one thing that like makes makes
the makes i think the anger i think that's the
anger bubbling up not the rage But yeah, I feel
that for sure. I feel like one thing like we've
done well at Michael and I is like we'll tap
out. Like so I'll like say like, hey, if I feel
like frustrated in a moment or like I can't figure
out how to get out of a situation or move forward,
I'll be like, Michael, I got to tap out. You
got to try. And then, yeah, if Colt hears dad
coming and he's going to switch, then. I don't
know what it is. It's like either he listens
or he's like, no, mom, mom, okay. Then he'll
let me change his diaper. Which then also kind
of makes it worse. Yes. Why couldn't you have
listened when I said something? It would have
made all of our lives so much easier. Yeah. Oh,
yeah. Do you end up feeling, I mean, I guess
we've kind of talked about this, but just like
guilt and shame when the rage does get the best
of you and you have that outburst. whatever it
looks like. Yes. Oh my gosh. Yes. I have felt
this probably, I don't know if it's like, I feel
like the rage is like increasing. I don't think
it's necessarily increasing, but I think our
schedule has been really, really busy lately.
I've been doing like solo parenting a lot more
on my own these past couple of weeks, but like
the guilt that I've been feeling the past few
weeks has been a lot more. Right after like the
outburst or whatever. And I many, many times
have then gone and apologized to Colt. And I
think that's something like that I'm trying to
practice that is actually a healthy reaction
to this. Because I do think like, yes, he's two.
He's probably not going to remember this at all.
But I do think it's a healthy practice to apologize
to your children and to admit like. that you've
made a mistake or that you are, you are wrong
in a situation. And so I think that like, that
is helping me try to overcome this. Yeah. I try
to do that with Lloyd too. Yeah. Mama should
not have acted like that. Yeah. And yeah, I would
agree where it's like, they may not remember
the actual apologies, but one I, for me, I'm
like, I want to set up this habit now because
in 10 years, When it does matter, you know, when
he does have these memories and I mess up again
because I'm going to mess up, whether that's
mom rage or just messing up in a different capacity,
then I already have the habit set in place of
like, you know, I apologize to you for my mistake,
for doing something that's not how you deserve
to be treated. And then I think that's the other
thing is setting from a young age the example
of you deserve to be treated well. Yeah. Not
just, you know, and as your mom, I'm telling
you that even when I don't treat you the way
you're supposed to be treated because I made
a mistake and because I messed up and because
I had a moment of rage or whatever that looks
like, even if it's me, you still deserve to be
treated better than that. And, like, I want that
to be ingrained to my kids. Like, you deserve
to be treated well no matter who it is. Yes.
Yeah. you deserve to be apologized to when they,
when they, anyone makes a mistake. When you're
wrong. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like it's also setting
a healthy example of like, uh, showing them that
they can apologize and admit to when they're
wrong or when they're, you know, they've made
a mistake. Like that's my hope is like, I don't
want my kids to ever feel like they can't come
to me and be like, Hey mom, I messed up. Yeah.
So I'm like, I want to set that example from
day one of like, I can tell Colt like, Hey buddy,
I'm sorry. Like mommy didn't mean to yell and
I'm sorry. I shouldn't have, I should not have
done that. And I hope like these little kind
of like pieces of hopefully a healthy example
of apologizing shows him that he can then do
that in the future with no issue and no problem.
Obviously, like what leads to the apologizing
is where what I need to really work on. You know,
have you found that there's anything that helps
you maybe avoid an outburst or or still like
trying to figure that out? I think I'm still
trying to figure that out right now. Yeah. Like
we kind of talked about. It's like it's so weird
because there's like this energy that needs to
go somewhere. Yeah. It's like. There's no like
if and or but. Like there's just energy that
needs to go somewhere and trying to figure out
the like healthy. Yeah, the healthy. Release,
I guess, of that energy. That's not throwing
my glasses across the room. I've literally thought
about signing up for a kickboxing class because
I was like maybe like something like that would
help me. But I also feel like the side of it
is like it's not that I need that outside of.
It's like. Sure. I need. a punching bag like
right there in the moment yeah i don't need it
but then would that once a week on tuesdays but
then maybe it would help right yeah like that
energy is going somewhere the like build -up
is going somewhere so then like i can be calm
and other yeah i don't know I don't know either.
I'm like, maybe I'll try. Yeah. Yeah. The other
side of it is like, okay, is it something like
that I need to address in therapy or like, do
I need to get on medication for something like
that? Like those are all thoughts that have gone
through my head, especially right after it happens.
I'm like so mad at myself. I'm the world's worst
mom. Yeah. And I think this is like a little
bit of, I don't know if it's a tangent. I just
read a book, had absolutely nothing to do with
motherhood, but he was talking about Valium and
how it used to be called Mother's Little Helper
because it's a sedative that when moms would
go to their doctors and be like, I'm overwhelmed,
they'd just be like, here. Here's some Valium.
Here's some Valium, which obviously not a healthy
way to handle that and cause, I think, lots of
other issues for kids. But it is one of those
things where I'm like, okay, so this has always
existed. Yeah. Which to a certain extent, I'm
like, makes me feel a little better. But then
on the other hand, I'm like, but clearly like
there needs to be a better fix. Yeah. Have some
value. Or, you know, I feel like that's part
of where like mommy wine culture comes from.
It's like you just need something to like. Yeah.
Take the edge off. Take the edge off. And then
it like turns into maybe not a full on addiction,
but like a thing where it's like, I need this
to just like get through the day. Yeah. Yes.
Do you feel like it's any mom rage you've felt
has increased or stayed the same after having
two kids versus one? I think it's definitely
gotten worse this time around. Like with Lloyd,
yeah, when I just had Lloyd and when he was like
a baby, it would come up sometimes, especially
around like sleep, where it's like you're just
sleep deprived. And I think that's a lot of what
I would like chalk it up to is like, I'm just
like really tired and I won't sleep too, whatever.
But this time around, and I don't know if it's
because now I have a two -year -old who is, like
you said, they're full on in the testing boundary
stage. So it's like there's already a frustrating
situation and then the mom rage is there and
they're just like butting heads kind of thing.
Yeah. Or, you know, if I just had a toddler,
would it be this bad? Yeah. Like, you know, I
don't know. I can't answer that question. I know.
I feel like a lot of it for me is like anytime
it's like geared towards Cruz. So if Cole is
like trying to headbutt Cruz. Like, yes, I feel
protective over both of my kids. But in that
moment, I have a certain protection over Cruz
right now. And I think that has to do with I
think that is hormone based. But there is something
like if he's trying to hurt Cruz, like obviously
he's a toddler. He's not really trying to hurt
him. He's just like trying to be physical. Yeah.
In some sense. But yeah, if it's towards Cruz,
it's like my protective mother. like instinct
comes out and i feel like yeah i feel like it's
totally like i feel like a like a mother lion
mama bear comes out yeah yeah i feel like i i
don't know what to, like, I feel like I have
to place that, I don't know, that emotional response
somewhere. Yeah. So one of the things I saw was
specific to mom rage. I guess there's some research
that shows the two major factors, and mom rage
specifically, is violated expectations and compromised
needs. Do you feel like you can relate to either
of those? The compromised needs, I feel like.
Like, I feel like I... I'm just so tired. Especially
on those solo parenting days. Yeah. Like I think
my compromise need is like I need sleep or I
need food or water even. Or just like half a
second to breathe. Yeah. Yeah. Like there's literally
no. No break. And that makes me just feel for
single moms. Oh, yeah. Or solo parents that are
doing this 24 -7. Yeah, I can't imagine. We have
one day of the week that is similar. Stuart does
stop home, but it's like half an hour that he's
home. Yeah. And then he leaves again. Like a
little taste of. Yeah. And so it is one of those
days where it's like I'm from wake up to bedtime.
I'm by myself. Yeah. And those days are definitely
the worst. Yes. And, like, there are some things
I've done to, like, kind of help. Like, those
days we always either get takeout for dinner
or we have, like, a Costco meal that I can just
throw in the oven and there's, like, little snow
cleanup or. Love it. A lot of times I'll, like,
try to have a friend over or something like that.
Yeah, break up the day a little bit. Yeah, try
to break things up. But then even so, the, like,
doing bedtime by yourself and. Doing all the
discipline by yourself and. The cleanup, the
mealtimes. Yeah. And again, you're like, I just
want to like go pee and not like. Not have a
child sitting on my lap while I pee. Yeah, have
someone follow me or like being here, hearing
something like, oh no. Yeah. Is everyone going
to be alive when I get out of the bathroom? Yes.
Because it doesn't seem like it right now. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. I feel that. I feel like the compromise
needs for sure is what. sticks out to me what
was the other one it was violated expectations
no I don't feel like I relate to that necessarily
I feel like I do but in a way that I just need
to like adjust my expectations like it's not
it's that my expectations are wrong not that
like of of Lloyd yeah where it's like kind of
like you were talking about earlier with it's
like oh yeah he's only two yeah you know where
like I have to remind myself like not that i
can't expect a lot from him because i also think
we don't give kids enough credit for how smart
they are at this age but that it's like oh yeah
there are parts of his brain that like literally
don't function yet yeah like he literally does
not have impulse control yet no that that part
of his brain has not clicked on so i think uh
there's a lot of like that where whether it's
like consciously or not i have like i have this
expectation that He should be listening to me
better or not throwing his toys when he gets
frustrated. Or, you know, I have these expectations
that are too much for him. Yeah. And are unfair
of him or unfair of me to have of him. Yeah.
So then I get mad because he's not listening.
I was like, well, he's two. I know. So he's not
going to listen sometimes. Not because he's trying
to spite me. You know, he's not a 16 -year -old
who's deliberately. Going, you said to do this,
so I'm going to do that. Yeah. He's a two -year
-old who just. Doesn't connect all the dots.
Yeah. Is testing the boundaries. Yeah. And all
like age appropriate things. Yeah. So I think
like that's where I have what like the quote
unquote violated expectations where it's like,
I have to remind myself that certain expectations
I have of him. are not fair and I need to adjust
that. But then, of course, in the moment when
you're like, I just want you to listen. Yes.
You're not thinking about brain development of
a two -year -old. You're just mad that. yeah
they're not listening yeah one thing we've been
doing with colt um and i don't know if it works
but like if we need him to listen like anytime
he goes over to mimi's house which is who watches
him for us on tuesdays right before we get there
we say turn on your listening ears and he literally
like takes his hands and puts them by behind
his ears and he goes and turns on his ears and
so i'm like i don't know if that helps but i
feel like it's like reminding him like okay he
has to use his ears. I don't know if he's connecting
the dots at this point, but it like, I don't
know, it helps me a little bit too. But yeah,
I feel that for sure of like, I have to remember
that he's like, I mean, he's learning so much
so quickly right now. He's testing every single
boundary he possibly can. And he also like, he
doesn't understand what's right and what's wrong.
Right. Necessarily. It's our job to teach that.
Yeah. It's our job to teach that. And so then
I have to teach it in a way that brings patience.
And yeah, I have to like, if I'm expecting patience
from him, like. I have to show patience too.
Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I think that's one of the
things that I have most frustration with myself
with the like rageful outbursts is I'm like,
I don't want to set this example, you know, where
it's like, well, of course, like. I don't throw
things all the time. This is going to make it
sound like I'm just, like, constantly throwing
things in my house. No. But it's, like, well,
if I don't want Lloyd to throw things when he's
frustrated. Yeah. Then, like, I can't do that.
Yeah. You know? And so it's, like, I think, yeah,
that's one of the, like, biggest frustrations
is it's, like, I don't want this outburst to,
like, teach my kids things that, like, because
I don't want to act like this, you know? No.
Like, I'm not doing this on purpose. Yeah. Yeah.
I feel like more recently, like. Colt is starting
to express like different emotions, like anger.
And so I'm trying to like with him, I'm trying
to point those out. So like in the moment of
like, like he started, like he'll literally scream
in our faces, which to me is like an outburst.
I'll ask him, I'm like, are you angry, buddy?
And he goes, yes, angry. And I'm like, okay,
we're trying to like label those emotions for
him. I don't know where I was going with that,
but I feel like that's like a helpful tip maybe
for anyone. I know this is like kind of a side,
but child therapists, they have the like stuffed
animals for the inside out emotions because a
lot of kids have like seen the movie and can
relate and understand because the movie did such
a good job of explaining emotions. Yes, such
a great movie. So then like a child counselor,
child therapist can be like. Which one of these
are you feeling? Which I think, I mean, our boys
might be a little bit too young for that. But
I do like that idea. I do too. Like just labeling
it. Yeah. I'm curious. Like, I don't know. I'm
interested to see how, like as time goes on,
what this will look like for me. Because I feel
like more recently, I feel like I'm like, I need
to address this in some capacity of like. I don't
know what it will look like for me, but I'm like,
I don't want to, I don't want my kids to think
of me as rageful or any like. You have to walk
on eggshells around mom because you don't know
how she's going to respond. Yeah, exactly. And
so like, I know I'm a good mom. I do. I think
the fact that I'm like wanting to address this
like shows that I'm. I don't know, shows that
I'm a good mom. It's like the saying, like, if
you think you're not a good mom, then you probably
are a good mom. Yeah. It will, it will be interesting
to see how this like progresses is like, we potentially
have more kids and, um, and like our kids get
older. So I'm like, I'm curious for our listeners
who have kids that are like maybe in 13 years,
like what does mom rage look like for you? like
is this is it still a thing for you like or does
it subside as time goes but yeah i feel like
this is more a topic that's like i don't know
if it's because i'm a newer mom but i feel like
this is a topic that i've heard more about recently
yeah that was one thing i had like kind of thought
about as we were prepping for this is it does
make me feel for moms of like older generations
yeah where it's like clearly the again clearly
this has always existed you know sure maybe there
are things now that make it like worse but then
there's also a level of we can have this conversation
yeah right you know there's a point in time where
it's like if you were feeling this way you just
like you bottle it up yeah you didn't talk about
it and that makes it worse right because then
like you and i can sit across from each other
and be like oh you too you too okay Like, this
makes me feel a little better. Like, yes, I still
need to, like, figure out how to handle this
because it's not healthy. Yeah. But, and, like,
it's not healthy for my kids. It's also not healthy
for me. No. Right? Yeah. We, like, we've talked
a bunch about, like, I don't want this to be
an example for my kids, which is true. But then
it's also, like, I want to, like, not have these
outbursts. Yeah. And, like, be able to control
my emotions and control myself. Yeah. Yeah. How
do you feel like Stuart does in like those moments?
Do you feel like he supports you well or like
is like, OK, let's tap out. I'm going to take
over. And usually if he's home, I'm able to like
tap out before it gets there. I think. Yeah.
More often than not. It's really like when you're
solo parenting. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And usually.
He can see if it's been a bad day or whatever,
and he's like, okay, I'll take a quick shower
today. Yeah, so I think when he's around, he
can tell. I'm like, I'll go get the kid that's
crying for the third time tonight as we're trying
to watch our TV show. Like, I just want a moment.
Yeah, so yes, he's very supportive. What about
you? Oh, yeah, Michael. I mean, Michael's great.
I have had, I feel like, a few of the outbursts
with him. I've just like when, especially when
Colt isn't listening and he's seen it and he
will, he'll like, he'll take over and just say
like, okay, you need like, you just walk away
for a minute or take Cruz and like, and then
I'll just take over with Colt. Do you ever like,
this sounds kind of bad. Do you ever have satisfaction
when things are going as badly as they are? Like
when he's not there, when he is there. Like,
does that make sense? Yeah. Oh yeah. We had a
date like that the other night where first Lloyd
did not want to sit at the table for dinner.
He just like kept trying to get down and it was
like, it was not a good time for anyone. And
it was one of those things where I think Stuart
is getting pretty frustrated with it. But also
I wanted to be like. So just so you know, I deal
with this for at least two meals a day. Also,
I'm working. Also, I'm by myself. Yes. Like if
you're overstimulated, try being me. Yeah. Yeah.
No, for sure. Yeah. I don't want you to experience
the frustration I do. It's satisfying when you
do those, you know, like I'm not totally insane.
It's like almost a moment of like, I want you
to just understand. Yes. Like, if you can just
get a glimpse. Yeah. I'm not necessarily overreacting.
I mean, maybe I am overreacting sometimes. Again,
the rage is a different situation. But, yes,
when I'm like, today was awful, like, I'm not
totally overreacting. No. Because if you had
to deal with this exact same thing all day, every
day. And also working. Yeah. Yeah. And trying
to keep your house in order, all the things.
So, like, I mean, they say. Stay -at -home moms,
it's more than a full -time job. And then especially
if you're a work -from -home mom, like, add that
on top. Like, literally working two jobs at once.
Yeah, yeah. And trying to juggle it all is wild.
So, yeah, I feel like, yeah, this mom rage, like,
is definitely more present this time around,
like, second postpartum. I don't know if it's
hormone imbalance still, like, trying to balance
or so one of the things that i saw and when i
say i did research i like googled this and looked
at like three articles so if anyone's like that
is so factually incorrect please know i will
link the articles i looked at but yeah i i didn't
even go to the second page on google yeah so
yeah so one of the things i saw was that gut
health and mental health are way more connected
than we think. Apparently, 95 % of your serotonin
is produced in the gut. Really? Which I had never
heard that before. So if your gut health is off,
then obviously your serotonin production and
health is off, which then can lead to things
like sadness, hopelessness, irritability, and
rage. Which I just thought was super interesting.
That is very interesting. Obviously, I don't
think that's going to be the case for every single
person all the time. Yeah. But then for me, that
did make me think like, oh, first kid, like you
have some time to yourself. Yes. You have nap
times, right? You know, where you have like a
little bit of time so you can get the extra snacks
and, you know, maybe take care of yourself a
little bit more. Yeah. Where now I feel like.
I have zero time to myself. We have one nap time
that overlaps a little bit, but it's like maybe
an hour. Yeah, and that's if nap goes well. Yes,
that's if everyone goes down well, if everyone
actually sleeps. I'm usually still working at
that point, so it's not like I'm fully. It's
not like you're sitting there and actually taking
a moment to yourself. Yeah, I'm like, am I not
taking as good of care of myself? Yeah. Another
thing. So this is one of those things that like.
It doesn't technically have any scientific backing,
but it has, like, I think a substantial amount
of anecdotal evidence, which is Brazil nuts.
Really? They're supposed to be really good for,
I don't remember what they have in them. I should
have written, yeah, I should have wrote that
down, what it is in Brazil nuts. But there's
something in Brazil nuts that's supposed to,
like, help your mood. So, yeah, so the anecdotal
evidence is that one to five Brazil nuts a day.
can help with things like rage and depression
and like all sorts of stuff. I could eat Brazil
nuts. Yeah. So I was like, they're not my favorite,
but. But five of them, I could choke them down.
Yeah. I can do that. And it's better than getting
on medication in my opinion. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah.
For sure. Yeah. That's very interesting. So I
got some, I had grocery pickup this week. Nice.
Try it out. Let me know. So I got some today.
I was like, I'll give it a try. Cause I did hear
that. A mom I know, she had mentioned that to
me when I was experiencing rage when Lloyd was
little. And I feel like it made it better because
I tried it before. But then also I'm like – Like
is it a placebo? Right, placebo. Or things actually
just getting better. You never know. And like
are things different now? You know what's causing
it this time kind of thing. Hey, I'll try it.
Brazil nuts. Great. Tip of the day. Yeah. Yeah,
that's interesting, the gut health and mental
health because – This time around, I feel like
the self -care, oh, it's kind of gone out the
window. Yes, I could maybe find time to work
out, but not by myself. It's more like, I don't
know, we go on a walk to the park. Yeah, that's
like my exercise. Otherwise, I'm like, do I really
want to work out? 10 30 at night not really yeah
and then especially if you're getting up at night
and you have to get up early yeah so i don't
know it's like that's what's been sacrificed
is like my self -care but then there's like the
negative side of it of like yeah if i'm sacrificing
the self -care then am i not as good of a mom
as i could be because i'm taking care of myself
you know so and then like gut yeah going back
to gut health it's like I feel like I'm not drinking
nearly as much water because I just kind of forget.
Definitely the food. When was the last time I
drank water? The food piece is like eat the,
I don't know, the half -eaten string cheese that
was left on the couch from this morning. Eat
in 3 .7 seconds because you have to keep up with
everyone. Yeah. Yeah. And so I feel like that.
That, I mean, it makes sense. Like that. Yeah.
I mean, everything's connected in your body anyways.
I just never heard that specifically. So I thought
that was super interesting. Yeah. That is very
interesting. But then there's this level of like,
that's super overwhelming. Like if that is like
what I need to change, where do I even start?
I know. And like, I can't take on another thing,
you know? Yeah. I'm like, it's like the. your
head's above water and you're looking, uh, looking
calm, but you're underneath water, you're treading
for all your life, you know, just trying to stay
afloat. And I feel like that just is like the
perfect picture of where we're at in motherhood
right now and what we're kind of going on a tangent,
but what. I mean, what needs to change? Yeah.
Yeah. And so I think I'm trying to put my finger
on that piece of the puzzle. Of like what needs
to change. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because I don't
know what tangibly could change. Yeah. Like I
feel like I'm like, I'm trying to be as present
as possible. Our schedule is super busy. Like,
you know, I'm solo parenting when I have to.
Like Michael is as home as much as he can be
with our jobs. And it's like, I don't know. what
needs to change in order to yeah i yeah i feel
the same way where i'm like i don't i don't know
where to start no um the other thing i think
i wanted to mention was i think so frequently
we use the words common and normal synonymously
and they're not the same word um or it's like
i know i see that i feel like i see that a lot
of times with like pregnancy right where someone's
experiencing a pregnancy symptom that's common.
And the doctors were like, oh, that's just normal.
Yeah. Like, well, sort, you know, no, it's not
normal. Like this isn't how this is supposed
to be, you know, normal is this is how it's supposed
to work. Yeah. And that's not the case here.
Common, sure. Yeah. And like, it may not be concerning,
but they're not the same thing. And so I think
that's one of the things that I want to like
try to remind myself with. things like mom rage
where it's like, okay, this is common, which
is nice because then I can, you know, I can talk
to you. I can talk to other moms and we can relate
and go, okay, I'm not crazy. This is something
a lot of us are experiencing, but it's also not
normal. Like this isn't how this is supposed
to work. This isn't how I'm supposed to respond.
This is, you know, normal would be that I don't
just have this like burst of anger that I can't
control. Again, anger is totally normal and totally.
I think anger is justifiable, but anger you go,
okay, I'm angry. I'm not getting sleep tonight,
but I can like compose myself of it or I can
respond to it in a healthy manner. Whereas like
rage, that's not what it is. You know, rage is
I'm not getting sleep tonight and now I'm screaming
or breaking down or whatever because of that.
Yeah. No, that's a, that's super interesting
because I feel like, yeah, more recently this
topic has, I don't know if it's just because
I feel so connected to it right now because I'm
like trying to address it. Or Instagram's in
your brain. Yeah. Oh, for sure. But I do feel
like more and more I am feeling like people are
talking about it, like especially moms around
me and that it does feel more common. I think
all of us are kind of in the same boat of, like,
no, this is not normal, you know? Yeah, I think
for me it's just, like, I want to make sure I'm,
like, saying it right. Yeah. You know, because
I think it's really easy to just be like, oh,
like, that's normal because everyone experiences
it. And, like, trying to, like, even in my own
brain, like, differentiate that. Like, no, everyone
experiencing the same thing. doesn't make it
normal because normal is more or less like correct.
Yeah. Right. Yes. Yeah. Normal is like the goal,
I guess. Yeah. We, our goal is to get to normal.
Like, like you mentioned, like pregnancy wise,
like a normal pregnancy would be like a healthy
pregnancy, I guess. Common symptoms would be
like preeclampsia, you know, like not normal,
but common. Yes. So I don't know. I feel like,
I don't know where we can like, you know, tie
the pretty bow on. We just end right here. Yeah.
I don't think there's a pretty bow to tie on
this yet because I don't know. I think we're
trying to figure it out. And I think really the
idea behind this episode is like, hopefully you
can feel not alone in this because I think. Maybe
you try some Brazil nuts and it helps. Yeah.
I don't know. Yeah. But I do think this is just
a topic that needs to be talked about more because
it is so common. Yeah, it's common. And I think
that's like kind of the first step of like getting
better. Like it's kind of the like AA thing,
right? Where it's like step one is admitting
you have a problem. Yeah. That's kind of a silly
– I mean maybe it's not even a silly comparison.
But, you know, that's one of the things where
it's like, oh, seeing that other people are experiencing
it, remembering like this isn't – normal no and
you can get past it like i don't know how i um
yeah we're figuring that out and if anyone has
advice if you're an experienced mom and you're
like yes this was my experience yeah and these
are things that i found helped yeah please let
us know because yeah we'll put a question box
and yeah we would love to know and You know,
we want to support other moms. Yeah. But yeah,
I think a big part of this conversation was just
making sure other moms don't feel alone. Especially
if you're a brand new mom listening to this too,
because I mean, your whole life is, has just
flipped like literally a 180 and now you're going
through so much postpartum and hormone imbalance
and all the things and then add this on top of
it. It's like. You're trying to figure out who
you are. Yeah. Yeah. So you're not alone. We're
here for you. Yeah. Yeah. Mom rage. It's a real
thing. Hopefully you can distinguish in your
own life like the difference between rage and
anger because there is, I mean, there is a difference.
And I think that both are common. Yeah. Yeah.
When I think again, anger is the normal one.
Yeah. Anger is the normal one. We all feel angry
sometimes. totally justifiable things and even
things that you can be rageful at you can be
angry at that and that's acceptable yeah it's
the outburst it's the lack of control yeah it's
the like over the top anger yeah well hopefully
you guys can relate to this in some sense i mean
if you haven't experienced rage great we love
that for you we love that for you if you have
you're not alone And if you haven't, maybe reach
out to a mom friend and see if they have and
if they need support. So, I mean, I also think
that's a lot of it. Or, like, there's a whole
adage of, like, it takes a village. But I also
think people don't, like, realize what that means.
And a lot of times that's just, like, existing
together more than it's necessarily, like, active
doing things. Yeah. Just the relatability. Yeah.
Yeah. Well, you want to hop in? We can hop into
our wins. Yeah, we can wrap it up. Yeah, let's
turn it around here. So this one, this is just
one of those like fun things that's like, it
makes me so happy right now. Zeta has this face
she makes that is, we call it her scrunch face.
And she just like scrunches up her nose and her
mouth and she goes. That's the best. Sorry, that
probably sounds terrible on a podcast. But it's
just, it's so cute and so funny. And I don't
know what makes her do it, but she does it multiple
times a day. And I mean, I think part of it is
we're like starting to get to the phase where
it's like, oh, you have a personality. And like,
what is that? And that's just like one of the
things she does right now is her little scrunch
face. That's the cutest thing in the whole world.
That's so cute. It's just, it makes me so happy
every time she does it. Yes. I love it. Okay.
My win of the week. So Colt, I feel like he's
just like starting to become a really good big
brother. That's the best. And it's like, if you've
listened to like right after Cruz was born, Colt
just had like the toughest time adjusting and
just, it was really, really hard. But more recently,
like anytime Cruz is crying or like hungry, like
he'll be like Cruz hungry or. Cruz crying and
then he'll try to like help him. So like this
morning, uh, Cruz was crying and I was like,
Oh, I think Cruz is hungry, buddy. Like mommy
needs to feed him. And Colt runs to the fridge
and grabs like a bottle out of the fridge that
I have like in the fridge and grabs it and like
goes to give it to him. And I'm like, Oh buddy,
mommy's like, mommy's just going to feed him.
It's okay. But that was so nice. That was such
a sweet, like just a sweet moment. I just think
he's like, he's starting to like connect the
dots and like, oh, I'm the big brother. Like
I can help mommy. And it just, oh my gosh, it
melts my heart. Cause I'm like, it's one of those
like step back moments of like, oh my gosh, this
is everything I dreamed of. And to get to like,
see, I don't know, see it happen in real life.
It's just, I love it. It's sweet. That is so
sweet. Yeah. That's so fun. And then that's like
a glimpse into the future. Yeah. They're going
to be little buddies forever. I can't wait. I
seriously can't wait for them to be able to just,
like, play together. And I know it's going to
be chaos because it's, like, two boys. But it'll
be fun chaos. It'll be so fun. And I think, like,
Colt is waiting for that. I can see it in him
that he's just, like, so excited to be able to
play with him. That's what that thing you brought
home for me is. Yep, exactly. Like, oh, this
was for me? Yeah. The whole time? Yeah. So it's
really sweet. Well, thanks for tuning in today.
Hopefully, yeah, you feel connected in some sense
as we talked about mom rage. But we'd love to
hear from you on social media. Follow us at nomanualpodcast
on Instagram. And connect with another mom this
week. And just, yeah, it takes a village. So,
yeah, we hope you guys enjoyed today's episode.
And we will see you next week. See you next week.