Welcome back to No Manual MomCast. If you tuned
in last week, you would have heard our episode
with Ellie Flowers talking about her experience
with foster care. And we have her back this week
to talk about some of the births with her bio
kids and that experience specifically. Your home
birth after a C -section. I'm crazy. Yeah, so
we will get into that first. We want to start
with our mom moments. I can go first. Okay, so
I was just chatting with you guys about this.
So Colt was sick this last week. Like some type
of stomach flu. And when our kids are sick, like
you want to do anything you can to make them
comfortable. And so Colt was not sleeping well.
He's never been a great sleeper. Specifically
this week, he was probably the worst sleeper
ever. So we'd put him down in his crib and he'd
start crying. And so Michael would go in there
and lay next to his crib and hold his hand, which
is so cute. I love it. But Michael couldn't leave
until Cole was asleep. If he left, it would like
start the whole process over again. And so now,
since he was sick and we were doing that, now
he just really likes to do that. And so now that
has become part of the night. routine. I'm sure
actually Michael's probably currently holding
his hand. It's 7 .45 at night, which is bedtime
for our child. And I'm sure Michael is laying
on the ground currently holding his hand to fall
asleep. But actually it was last night. It was
so, so sweet. We put Colt down and we always
try, like we'll walk out of the room, give him
a few minutes to try to fall asleep. And then
he like cries. Michael goes in there. And puts
everything back in his crib because he throws
everything out of his crib. Puts everything back
in. And then as Michael's leaving the room, Colt
goes, hold hand, hold hand, hold hand. And Michael
comes out of the room and he's like, Laura, how
am I supposed to say no to that? And I'm like.
I don't know. And so we like gave him one more
minute and Michael's like, I can't do it. I'm
going to go in there and hold his hand. And I
was like, okay. I was like, we are creating the
worst habit right now, but it's like, but it's
so cute. It's so cute. And I don't know what
else to do except comfort my child. And I love
him so much, but yeah, that's my mom moment.
Yeah. That's very relatable. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
um i can do mine so we're in the no phase lloyd
says no to everything and sometimes it's super
frustrating and sometimes it's just so cute yeah
or it's like that's one of the things when we
get up for the day i'm like i'll go in his room
and open the curtains we're like hey buddy you
ready to get out of bed no no Okay. Okay. Like,
I guess you can just like lay down for a while.
Like, I'm not ready to get out of bed either.
I get you. When I wake up, I want to stay in
bed too. Yeah. So, but just know for absolutely
everything. I'm like trying to do my best to
like phrase things well. So like, if it's something
that is not an option, it's not a question. Like,
I'm not going to ask you if you're ready for
bed because you're going to say no. And then
you're going to think that I just like ignore
you when you say no. That's so hard to phrase
questions with. Like it not being a yes or no.
Yeah. Like it's time for bed. No. No, it is.
No. Yeah. Yeah. But it is like super cute. And
he like shakes his head every time he says no.
And it's so sweet. And also so annoying. Just
like that. Perfect balance of toddlerhood. I
love it. I love it. Okay, Ellie, what's yours?
This happened two nights ago. We're in this stage
where, like, there's just, like, a gaggle of
neighborhood kids that, like, play together.
That's so wholesome, though. Oh, it feels like
the 90s, you know, or, like, our childhood. So
we have, like, boys running in and out of our
house, and there was a little, like, second grader
in there, and Roman, my almost seven -year -old,
was holding. Danny, our four -month -old, and
he was like, isn't she so cute? Like, he's obsessed
with her. And it just, like, somehow came around
to, like, birth. And our kids are very exposed
to birth because I was like, we thought maybe
they were going to be at the home birth, whatever.
And so they had seen, like, birth videos to prep
them. They've seen the birth video of Danny being
born. So they're just like, this is normal to
like talk about vaginas. And so Roman says to
the kid like something about, and I see where
he's going and he's like about to say it. And
I just grab his hand because I'm like, you're
about to say something that's going to traumatize
this child who's probably not into that. And
Roman just looks at me and he was like. And he
just, he knows, like, what I did by just touching
his hand. He just, like, changes the subject.
I was, like, oh, my gosh. That second grader
was, like, what? What is that? What happens in
your home? The parents are going to be, like,
what is going on in the flowers' house? I'm,
like, we're clearly already the weird family
on the block. Like, we have too many kids. Like,
you know, they're always getting into trouble.
yeah so that was that was my i love that yeah
that's so funny okay so you introed your family
for us last week but give us like a a brief intro
again just in case someone's listening that didn't
listen to last week yes if you're into home birth
and not foster care totally understand um yes
so i have a six almost seven year old a five
year old a four year old all adopted through
foster care and then i have a two year old almost
three year old and a four month old Wow. Yes.
And last two were bio kids. Last two were bio
kids. Yep. And then. So, and you went over this
a little bit in our last episode. You found out
you're pregnant with Killian, right? Killian,
yes. When you were, your youngest adoptive kiddo
was eight months old. Yes. And so give us just
like a little bit of what that, I know it's a
pretty complicated experience, but what's your
like elevator pitch for your birth with Killian?
Yes. So with Killian, again, I was, not planned
pregnancy and I'm in the throes of three under
three as is. And so I was just like, I did not,
I did not read a single pregnancy book. I did
not listen to a single birth story. Like I was
just like, they all got here. Like my children.
Yeah. I'm sure their parents didn't read books
and they came out. Like, so I was just like in
the mindset of like, You know, all my friends
who are pregnant at the same time are getting
their doulas. And, like, you should read real
food for pregnancy. And I'm, like. So you had,
like, three or four friends who you all had kids
at the same time. Yeah. Like, yeah. Like, we're.
I'm, like, in the throes of, like, being pregnant
with some of my friends at the same time. So.
Honestly, those things were probably like the
last thing on your mind, too, of like, oh, I
have 303. I'm just I'm literally trying to survive
already. Yes. Exhausted. Yes. Pregnant and foster
care. We're still doing foster care. Yeah. And
I can't imagine I was pregnant with a toddler.
That was exhausting. Like newborn tired with
a toddler is way easier than pregnancy tired
with a toddler. I will die on that hill. Yeah.
But I'd like gone through all that before. Right.
So it's like, OK. I have a general, even if this
birth doesn't go how I expect, I've been through
it before. I know when we go to the hospital,
I, you know, we took a birthing class the first
time around, but this is your first birth. Yes.
So you're in that pregnancy exhaustion, but you
don't, you literally just don't even have time
for like. All of the, like, nesting and kind
of, like, fun things of, like, being pregnant
the first time. Oh, no. Yeah. It was, like, yeah.
We didn't take a birth class. Like, we did nothing.
Like, and I was just, like, the baby will come
out. Yeah. Which I wasn't wrong with the baby
to come out. He's going to get here one way or
the other. Right? Yeah. And so, you know, I didn't.
Like, I just got the OB that Kaiser had in Longmont,
and she was on Tuesday, so I went on Tuesday.
Like, it was literally just, like, the most,
like, I'll do the things. Okay, it's time for
an ultrasound. Okay, great. Fast forward to,
like, I'm 32 weeks pregnant. I'm almost 33 weeks
pregnant, and they do my fundal height, and everything's
been totally fine past my gestational diabetes
test, like, all the things. And so she does my
fundal height, and she was like, you're 37. Like,
you are. my full term baby in there and so she
was like and that came out of nowhere like i
had been measuring on track so all of a sudden
like something was like and so she was like sent
me to denver not the day of but like you know
a week later so how to go to denver to get an
ultrasound to make sure it wasn't fluid like
is it fluid or is it baby so got an ultrasound
and the ultrasound tech you know they're not
really supposed to say much but he goes Well,
you're giving birth to a college student. I was
like, oh, my gosh. You're like, oh, excuse me,
what? Literally. So at 34 weeks, the baby was
measuring seven and a half pounds. Wow. And so
they bring me into the OB, and the OB is like,
listen, like, you're probably going to have a
C -section at this point. We're for sure inducing
you at 39 weeks. Let me tell you about shoulder
dystocia. I knew nothing. Let me tell you about
shoulder dystocia. Like your baby could get brain
damage. We'll have to break their shoulder. Like
gave me the scariest situations, right? And they're
like, and this will happen because your baby
will be 11 and a half pounds at 40 weeks. So
I was like. oh my gosh like so I was like sure
whatever like well in pregnancy is so scary that
way because anything that you're like I want
what's best for my kid oh yeah I'm like I'm not
gonna risk sure whatever like yeah and so again
I didn't I didn't do any research after that
I was just like okay great so I am set to be
induced at 39 weeks um but I go into labor at
38 weeks and three days with my first baby that
just doesn't happen people but it happened to
me I went into labor. My water broke at 3 in
the morning. Contraction started right away.
Very, like, textbook labor. Was this, like, it
was an exciting thing to you of, like, okay,
I've gone into labor naturally? Oh, yeah. Because
I was, like, I've heard being induced is just
harder. Like, and you're there longer because
it takes some time sometimes to, like, get things
going, whatever. And it gives me a higher chance
of not having a C -section, you know, because
the baby's coming out sooner, you know. Less
growing time. So, yes, I was like, great. Like,
here we go. But also I was like, oh, my gosh,
this is painful right away. I was like, I got
to the hospital. I was sobbing. I was like, what
is happening? Like, this is so scary. Again,
I didn't read a book. I didn't watch a video
or hear a podcast. I was just like, this is nuts.
They checked me in. I was two centimeters dilated,
but I was having contractions and my water broke.
And so they're like, yep, here we go. You're
supposed to be induced in five days anyways.
And I was like epidural now. And so I got an
epidural, literally, again, two centimeters dilated.
So I just set myself up for failure there. So
I labored on my back. I did the peanut ball,
whatever. The OB came in like right away, like
the first, you know. say hi to me and she was
like we could go do the c -section now if you
like you're gonna have a big baby we can just
go do it now i was like well i want to try like
i already like my body did it like i wanted to
labor so let's just try i guess so anyhow i know
like i never needed pitocin i just kept dilating
and got to a 10 and they're like it's time to
push and so i pushed for three and a half hours
oh my gosh nothing was happening And the OB came
in and she was like, I'm feeling pretty discouraged.
And I was like. And that's always what you want
to hear your doctor say. She said, I'm feeling.
I'm feeling discouraged. I was like. You're like.
You're not. Like, I'm like, I understand the
nurses. If they're feeling discouraged, they've
been here the whole time. You literally just
pop in every hour to like check in. I'm like.
you're feeling discouraged how about me the one
trying to push a baby out of my vagina seriously
and so she was like i'm feeling really discouraged
like we know this baby's gonna be big like it's
probably just not safe to like keep trying like
your baby's just too big and so no one can hear
how much i'm rolling my eyes oh i know i know
i'm like oh i know so much more now but and i
have in the back of my head like well i don't
want to force this Like, they told me the baby's
going to have brain damage, like, or die. The
obvious choice is right there in front of you.
Yes, totally. Which the statistic now on that,
like, even if they have shoulder scotia, the
chances of, like, a brain damage is, like, .0001%.
Wow. Don't quote me on that. But it's, like,
literally so tiny. So I'm like, cool, cool. Let's
do the C -section. And so. You know, typical
C -section, they wheel me back, whatever. Caleb's
not there. Which is so scary. I also had a C
-section. Yes. Because I listened to both of
your birth stories in preparation for my V -back
and my unmedicated birth. But, like, that. preparation
time is without your spouse yes it's so scary
oh in that room i'm like this is chainsaw massacre
in here like this is scary in here it's the brightest
light ever yes and i'm already have the epidural
so they're like trying to like i feel like a
whale like they're weaving me onto this like
teeny tiny table and so then i yeah so caleb
comes in they're starting to like test the knife
on my stomach and the epidural i knew while i
was in labor like it definitely was not like
doing the whole thing like so they're testing
me and i was like for sure i can feel that yeah
i was like please do not cut me open right now
i can feel that and so they kept being like here
let's roll you to the side and they're like and
i was like still can feel it please you know
whatever so they're like okay we're gonna take
out the epidural and we're gonna do a spinal
tap so do a spinal tap lay back down and they're
like let let us know if you stop feeling your
hands and almost immediately i was like can't
feel my hands. And they're like, try squeezing
Caleb and the nurse or whatever. And I was like,
can't, can't feel my hands. And then I can't
breathe. Like, so I had enough in me to say,
I can't breathe. Like all of a sudden I feel
it. Like my chest is heavy. And so they put a
mask on me and I just look at them like I'm about
to die. Like, like literally I'm not breathing
anymore. And then they go. get the dad out of
here. Everyone start going. And so they shoved
Caleb out of the room to get me under and intubated
as fast as they can. Cause I went to respiratory
failure, which obviously then babies in distress,
like it was a whole like emergency situation.
So I woke up two hours later and I remember the
first thing I saw was like one of my nurses,
like faces all blurry on top of my face. And
she was like, you had a big baby. What just happened?
He was actually big, though. He was nine and
a half pounds. At 38 weeks and three days. He
was a big baby. But doable, A. And B, because
my body knew he was big. And that's why he came
out at 38 weeks and three days. My body was like,
yep, it's time. He's fully cooked. But yeah,
he was a big baby. Because then also, due dates
are the least scientific science maybe in the
world. They're like, I'm going to... assume that
you have a standard an average cycle and take
your period yeah and then pick a day especially
because i've never had a period like i went off
birth control and literally was pregnant so it
was like there was literally you could have been
40 weeks for based on like yeah who knows so
you did have a big baby because that's another
thing i've heard is that ultrasounds can be up
to two pounds inaccurate in either direction
yes yeah so then half the time when they like
this was actually quite spot on Yeah, because
that was also my experience was only opposite.
Yes, she's too small, she's too small, she's
too small. And she was a tiny baby. Yeah. But
then, yeah, one of the first appointments I had
after that, my midwife was like, I mean, I'm
not going to say they're wrong, but ultrasounds
aren't super accurate with weight. So you did
have a big baby. Yes, he was nice and chunky.
And I should also preface, I was so swollen.
I was so miserable. Like that, like that last
few weeks of pregnancy, I had the, I was the
worst insomnia. I could not sleep and I was so
swollen. So like I gave birth, lost the initial
like 10 pound baby weight. And then five days
later I lost 20 pounds. Wow. So I was 20 pounds
of water. immediately dropped like that's how
swollen i was and so i was definitely not healthy
like something was off with that pregnancy for
sure so anyways yeah i woke up to this baby they
like you know hand them to me and they're like
here get pull your gown down nurse them and i
was like huh like can i let this anesthesia literally
oh my gosh it was like yeah i'm thinking of my
experiences with anesthesia i'm like someone
had handed me a baby after that oh i don't know
what caleb was like is she okay to hold the bait
i mean like i yeah and i'm like i'm scratching
like making myself bleed because i'm so itchy
but i like can't feel it and so i'm just like
scratching at myself my mom's like she's bleeding
like whoa i was a hot mess but they handed me
my baby and so i was like oh my gosh yeah do
you feel like you can like does that all feel
like a dream to you or do you feel like you can
remember it really clearly because i have done
some like it's called art and now i can't remember
what the r stands for but accelerated something
therapy so i've done some therapy around it because
it was traumatizing i thought i literally felt
like i was gonna die yeah because i i mean you
were i yeah i was not breathing anymore so Because
you've shared bits and pieces of this on social
media. And I think I always thought that you
had an emergency C -section. Right. Not that
you had a C -section and there was an emergency.
And then they made it emergent because they did
the spinal tap wrong. Yeah. Yeah. Which is crazy.
So crazy. So crazy. Yeah. So it was an elective
C -section because I also hate when people say
it was an emergency. But then I was like, well,
really, I said, okay, I'll stop trying. We can
go do it. cole he was in distress so it was like
it was an emergency yes right you need to make
sure everybody's okay that was not the case for
killian where it's like him i was stable he was
stable it was just like we should just time yeah
yeah we're gonna just do the c -section now so
anyways so yeah that was my experience with killian
it was you know it took me a long time to process
because i was like i honestly had the best postpartum
i was like No one's taking my baby away every
other day to go do a visit. Like no one, no social
workers are here. I get to nurse. Like I was
on cloud nine. Like I, and I, I remember when
I went the night before I went to labor, I remember
texting my sister cause I didn't want a baby.
I was like, I was like, I've done, I've literally
had three babies back to back every year. Like
I literally 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022 was every
year I was having a baby. And my babies were
tough. Like they had issues, you know? And so
I remember texting my sister and being like,
I hate being pregnant. I don't want to be pregnant
anymore. I don't want to do labor. That doesn't
sound fun. And I don't want a baby. And I was
like sobbing. I was like, I hate my life right
now. Like I was, but then I had him and I was
obsessed. I was like, the Lord blessed me with
all the happy hormones. I'm so grateful. So I
just had the best postpartum. And so I didn't
process the birth because I was like, I'm so
happy. So it took a while to process. Like, oh,
at my sixth week, I asked the OB, and she wasn't
the OB that was, you know, there. I was like,
can you tell me what happened? Did I have a panic
attack? Like, I literally didn't know what happened.
Because the anesthesiologist, like the head of
anesthesiologists at the hospital the next day
came in and apologized. And they're like, that
shouldn't have happened. But I still don't understand
what happened. And I was on hardcore drugs still
and sleep deprived. And even just like the hospital
experience is a blur. Oh, yes. Even if things
go well, it's still just like a blur. Totally.
So I had no idea what had happened. So she was
like, I've been in one of those type, like when
the person goes into respiratory failure. She's
like, that's so scary. I'm so sorry that happened
to you. So I was like, okay. So it wasn't a panic
attack. I literally thought I was freaking out
and they just were like, see you later. I was
like, okay. So I really couldn't breathe. Like
I wasn't just making that up. Yeah. So fast forward,
I do therapy. We still have like a ton of small
children. So like another child does not like
cross my mind at this point. But then, you know,
as time goes on, I'm like, I. I want another
one. And so Caleb's on board. And you've got
four boys. So it's like, you're like, should
we try for that girl? And we did. We did the
shuttles method. And we got the girl. Okay, what
is that? It's when you time conception. So the
idea is that sperm that has like the boy chromosome,
whatever, is faster. But it's... Yeah, it's faster.
So it gets there to the egg faster. But the girl
one is stronger. So she hangs out longer, but
she takes longer to get there. Okay. So five
days before I ovulated was the only time that
we had intercourse. And the idea is that the
girl sperm like. Gets there while the boy sperm
dies. But she's, like, she's strong up there.
She's waiting. Mm -hmm. And this is, like, pretty,
like, it's pretty accurate. Wow. They say. And
it worked. Okay. Dang. There you go. I know,
right? So we got ourselves a girl. Yeah. So anyways,
that was, and that was fun. I literally had a
dream, first of all. I had a dream that I had
a boy and a C -section. And in the dream, I cried
because I was so happy. And that gave me, like,
the confirmation that, like, I'm not doing this
to have a girl and have a home birth. Like, I'm
doing this because I want another baby. Like,
I had to have that confirmation that, like, even
if I have a C -section again and even if it's
a boy, like, yes. Yes. And my therapist, when
I said, like, I want a redemption birth, she
was like, we can find redemption without a birth.
Like, so there was a lot of, like, healing I
did before going into this. So would you say...
that first experience did that make you like
apprehensive to have more kids at all or was
it kind of just like no no I don't know why I
mean I definitely I was like fearful of a c -section
again same thing yeah I was like picturing myself
in a c -section room sounds really scary like
not breathing again your husband getting pushed
out the door yes yes yes yep yep so there was
that but like I'm really thankful that I was
able to that my therapist was like it wasn't
the like oh if I have another birth it's gonna
be scary it was like I don't want that experience
yes and I had learned a lot of like how can I
prevent that happening was that even necessary
like just did a lot more research turns out you
can learn more if you read a book so did you
start to do research before you got pregnant
again yes oh yeah eight months before I even
got pregnant I contacted the midwife I wanted
and I was like can I do a v -back at home like
is that what are the laws around that um because
you have to be a certain amount of miles from
the hospital like there are certain has to be
an 18 months difference between birth to second
birth yeah to have a home birth and so she was
like yep yep like you qualify and so I was like
okay great So I was, I was like, I know I'm having
a home birth. Like I knew because I had started
listening to the VBAC link, the podcast. I haven't
heard of that. It's amazing. If you're wanting
a VBAC, VBAC link podcast, it just, it's just
moms telling stories of their VBACs. And so I
listened to all kinds like, and so, but the home
birth ones always resonated with me. I'm just
kind of an extreme person. Like if I'm going
to do something, I'm like going to do the most
extreme thing. So either you're going to have
a terrifying C -section or give birth at home.
I'm either going to be asleep for my birth or
completely awake in my bed. And so I found out
I was pregnant. I literally texted my midwife
the day I found out I was pregnant. I was like,
hello, I'm pregnant. Because they like fill up.
you know differently like I'd like to be your
client totally yeah a hospital it's like we have
doctors and nurses or it's like yes yeah even
a birthing center they're like we have limited
space yes yeah so it was like this is you know
I just I needed to make sure that window I could
be fit in there so yeah so how did you prepare
for your home birth and what was like research
like what was physical preparation like yes okay
so I was just a completely different person I
watched all the videos I listened to all the
podcasts like and my midwife was just very preventative
right like she talked about nutrition almost
every appointment like what are you eating how
much are you drinking you need to do more electrolytes
she was like I mean we focused on nutrition so
much and it made me feel better yeah and then
when you do the typical glucose test she was
like here's your options we could do the glucose
test we could do um like the fresh test you can
decline altogether or you could do like a monitor
and test yourself like for a while and i have
listened to i don't know if you guys have heard
of lily nichols okay she's like the dietician
for she wrote real food for pregnancy real food
for gestational diabetes and real food for fertility
she's amazing I listened to a podcast she was
on, and she said the best way to test for gestational
diabetes is to monitor it yourself throughout
your entire third trimester because you can get
it at any point in your third trimester. It is
not like, oh, I didn't get it at 28 weeks. Okay,
I'll never develop it. And she was like, people
develop it past that, and it doesn't get – people
don't catch it. Which made my head start spinning
of like, I wonder if that's what happened to
me. Especially with all the water weight. I was
so swollen. You all of a sudden was so huge.
So I was like, something was not right there.
So I started testing myself and I was like, oh,
I have to change how I'm eating. I have to change,
like I had to like walk after meals and I tested
myself four times a day my entire third trimester.
And I really had to, like, adjust what I was
doing. And I never got swollen. I felt great
up until I gave birth. Like, it was a completely
– I slept great. Like, it was a completely different
experience. And so – and I was going on lots
of walks. So I was just – I really – Feeling
way more confident, I'm sure. Like, oh, I can
do this. Yes, yes. And I took control. Like,
my midwife was not – She literally said it in
the most black and white, you can do whatever
you want to do. And I was like, I listen to a
podcast. This is what I want to do. I took so
much more control of, again, my experience leading
up to Killian was someone tells me everything
about how to parent. That was foster care. With
killing, I was just like, sure, I'll do whatever.
Like, I'll be induced, whatever. Like, and I
had taken back this whole, like, I had adopted
my kids. I had had a biological kid. And I was
like, my mother intuition was like, all of a
sudden, like, God just gave it to me, you know?
And so it wasn't that my midwife was telling
me what to do. It wasn't that she was saving
me or whatever. Like, it was the Holy Spirit
in me, like, being a mom. so that was i think
that was the biggest prep was like i watched
videos and then i really changed how i lived
like yeah so yeah and you mentioned like originally
you were gonna have your kids there for it tell
us about that decision and then why that changed
because i know that they were not yes yep nope
they were not there uh the younger two was for
sure now like those kids are nuts Just, you know,
being two years old and three years old. Splash
in the water. Goggles. I was like, absolutely
not. My older two, I left it up to them. We watched
some videos and they said, no, thank you. And
I respected that. I was like, you know. I'm good,
mom. Totally. And I was like. You're like, mom,
we're adopted. We already have trauma. We don't
need this trauma. Like, yikes. That's a lot of
blood. Yeah. Yeah. And so I was like, yep. Like,
I don't. I can't be there to support you through
this. Caleb can't be there to support you through
this. If you start crying, I can't help you.
Totally. So I was like, you would have to, like,
they would have to feel very, like, comfortable
and confident on their own. And they weren't.
So that's how we, that was our decision. I think
that's great. Yeah. What was your support system
like when deciding to do a home birth? Do you
feel like you had a great support system from
your family, from your friends, or was it? You
know, mixed feelings? Well, I didn't really know
anybody who had had a home birth. Like, a friend
of mine from college, but she lived in a different
state. Yeah. So, like, in my circle, there was
nobody. Like, my husband's aunt had had a home
birth. She had a 10 -pound baby in call. Like,
the water was still intact. Yeah, that's so cool.
And so she, like, that was about it. Like, that's
the only person I knew. Anyone who had had an
H -back? yeah no no no yeah definitely not a
home birth v -back no yeah so yeah everyone thought
I was crazy but they also know me and you can't
convince me once I've decided something like
like I was like yeah I've done the if you can
if you can convince me otherwise because you've
done more research than me I'm here for it but
I've done a lot of research so yeah so wow But
everyone, I think then was like, okay, like she's
confident. Then here we go. Yeah. And we're just
going to support the decision that's being made.
Yep. Yep. So. Okay. So great pregnancy. Yeah.
You go into labor. What was, what was that like?
Yeah. So again, I went into labor at 38 weeks
and three days with Killian. I went into labor
with Danny at 39 and. six so almost almost to
my due date I could not believe it like but I
also wanted to be I wanted I wanted her birthday
it was like the anniversary of when Caleb first
told me he loved me so it was like that was the
day I wanted yeah so I was so excited so I woke
up that morning and I was like okay I'm going
to my due date because I was convinced I was
going to go into labor at night it's very common
for moms who already have kids to go into labor
at night because even moms who don't have kids
because there's something like the relaxing totally
yeah totally and so I was like all right I guess
I'm going to my due date but then my three boys
were at school and then Killian went to go to
my mother -in -law's house from the morning and
so I was all by myself and I was like do you
feel relaxed buddy yeah and so I literally I
I laid in my bed. I watched Grey's Anatomy and
I pumped. And I had a contraction. And I was
like, oh, my gosh. But then nothing else happened.
And so I was like, weird. Okay. And so – and
I immediately stopped pumping because I was like,
whoa, whoa, oh, my gosh. You're like, do I want
this? Yeah, totally. Like, freak out. And so
the day goes on. Like, killing comes back at
11. I see my mother -in -law. I, you know, say,
I'll see you tomorrow. My sister -in -law was
getting engaged the next day. Like, and so we
had like a surprise party, whatever. So I was
like, see you tomorrow for that. Caleb and all
the boys come home. I don't say anything to Caleb,
but I can tell I'm starting to have contractions.
So I'm making lunch, whatever. And then around
1231, I'm like. hey, cabs, I think we should
probably pack the boys' bags. Like, we should
probably just have those ready to go. And, yeah,
and he was like, yeah, for sure. And I was like,
but, like, probably we probably need to do it
soon. And he's like, are you having contractions?
And I was like, I think so. And he's like, are
you really? And I was like, I don't know. Like,
it's so different. My water broke the first time.
It was the most obvious thing in the world. Like,
felt the pop. There was the gush. Like, you know,
contractions were obvious right away because
they're more intense, you know. This was more
like. I think so. You know. Well, and I would
imagine with a home birth, like, it's almost
more stressful of wanting to make sure it's right.
Because if you go to the hospital and they're
like. No. Yeah. Yeah. These are Braxton Hicks
or whatever. Then you're like. Totally. Okay.
This was annoying that we drove to the hospital,
but we're just going to go home where it's like
with a home birth, you have to like call everyone
to your house. Yes. Just kidding. Totally. Like
stop everything you're doing and drive to my
house. Yeah. So I, you know, I definitely wanted
to be like, sure. And so I started, like, timing
them just to – I was like, okay, I'm having –
It's something. It's something. Yeah. And so
I called my midwife. And at this point, I was
like – I kind of had to, like – if it was happening,
I couldn't just, like, talk. Like, I had to,
like – Focus. Yeah. And so I called her. I told
her. And she was like, it's probably good for
the boys to leave so you can get into, like,
labor land and not mom mode. And so my sister
-in -law picked them up. And I sobbed. Like it
was like the house was quiet. They left. I'm
sitting on my birth ball listening to worship
music. And I was just like, you know, I listened
to your guys' stories. Like that moment of just
like it's all about to be different, you know?
Yeah. And they don't know that it's – Yeah. I'm
like the baby's not the baby anymore. Yeah. And
so, yeah. So I sobbed. You know, Caleb's, like,
setting up the birth tub. Not, like, filling
it, but, like, setting it up. And I had given
him a list of, like, when I go into labor, clean
all the bathrooms. Like, you're going to need
to set up the birth tub. You're going to need
to – you're texting these people. Like, my photographer.
You know, like, I had, like, a chore list for
him. I can go lay down. Yes. You clean the entire
house. Literally. So, which is good. It gave
him something to do instead of stare at me. And
so, we're just kind of, like, doing our thing.
My midwife calls me every hour to check in and
just listen to me. And she lives close. She's
like 15 minutes away. And so she, and my sister
and my mom end up coming all around like three.
And my sister's like my honorary doula. She's
had like one birth and, you know, but I was like,
you're it. Tagging, you know. And so, but she
wanted an unmedicated birth with her first. Ended
up getting the epidural, but she at least understood
the like. concept of it yes yep and so she yeah
so she's like having me sit on the toilet and
whatever and it's still fun I'm like I'm having
fun it's funny to like try in different positions
like I'm kind of having a good time with the
whole thing and then my midwife and her assistant
come and she's taking my blood pressure checking
the baby's heart rate you know and you know I'm
still like Putting a leg up on the couch and,
you know, whatever. And I'm genuinely, like,
having a fun time. Like, I'm, like, it hurts.
It's not fun. But, like, the in -between is,
like, oh, my gosh, I'm doing it. I feel that
way way more with Zeta, too. Yes. Lloyd, between
contractions, it was just, like, survival mode.
Where I remember at one point with Zeta, I was
in the tub at our hospital. And we were just,
like, going through TikTok videos. It'd be, like,
contraction. Stop everything and then in between
be like, what funny video do we see next? Yes.
Yes. Totally. Totally. Okay. I have to say this
before we go on. The reason I chose a home birth
was because it statistically would give me the
highest chance of having a VBAC. And having a
VBAC, which would mean that I would be awake.
And being awake really meant a lot to me because
I had never witnessed any of my kids' births.
Either had Caleb. Wow. Yeah. You know? That's
crazy. I didn't even think about that. Yes. And
so that was, I think, the most painful part of
Killian's birth was I was like, I missed the
beginning again. Like, Caleb, we both missed
it, like, again. The one time that we shouldn't
have. I never even crossed my mind that we would
miss it. Like, I missed the first two hours of
his life. Like, I didn't get the golden hour.
I didn't, you know. Um, I remember Caleb being
like, I just want a gooey baby. Like we've never
gotten that. Like, you know? And so, so that
was like my whole thing. I was like, I want to,
I can't miss the beginning of my baby's life
again. Like, yeah. So I'm doing the labor thing.
I'm having fun. It's, you know, it's great. They
don't do cervical checks. And so I have no idea
what's happening except for like, they're just
watching me and they're making pads of coals
and they're And, like, putting my chicken noodle
soup that I had made in the crock pot. Like,
they're, like, doing their thing, setting up,
like, all their equipment. And eventually, like,
things start to shift where it's, like, uh -oh,
this is not very fun anymore. Yeah. Uh -oh. And
so I'm, like, in the tub, and I just start crying
because I'm, like, all of a sudden, like, the
overwhelming feeling of, like. uh -oh like this
is scary yeah and it like it's scary in the way
of like what is the decision i made what are
all the decisions i've made leaning up to this
moment oh my gosh oh my gosh and my water's still
unbroken so in my head i was like how far am
i like if my freaking two centimeters literally
i was like my water broke first last time and
i'm still like that hasn't happened like and
there's no cervical checks i have literally no
idea what's going on yeah so i had a panic moment
there and i just cried and so And let me paint
this scene. There's worship music on. The person
who's taking my pictures, she is 34 weeks pregnant,
about to have her home birth. And her first home
birth. So this is her third baby, her first home
birth. And so I felt really nervous about traumatizing
her. You're like, I want my experience to be
a good experience so that you feel good about
your future experience. Totally, totally. And
she is a pediatric nurse. So it was just like
a nice extra safety person there. My mom's there.
My sister's there. Caleb's there. And then my
midwife and her two assistants. Everyone loves
Jesus. Like there's worship music playing. There's
lights hanging. It's dark and moody. And it's
like. It's beautiful. And then it's also like
so painful. So I'm doing the toilet. I'm back
in the tub. And I'm like I've got to get my water
to break. Like that's what's going on in my head
because I'm like something's got to like indicate
that like we're progressing here. So I'm not
saying any of this, but I'm like that's like
my goal at this point. And so transition hits,
and it lasts about an hour. And that entire time
I am like. I'm not okay. I'm not okay. I can't
do this. And I'm like, sincerely, I know they
say you're supposed to say that. Isla was like,
no, really. I can't do it. I really cannot keep
doing this. And my midwife was just so calm.
And she loves the Lord so much. And I kept just
being like, oh, my God. And she would be like,
yes, Lord. Like she would just change it into
a prayer. She's like, yes, Lord, you are here,
God. And I was like. Like, is he? I don't think
so. I was, oh my gosh, I was not quite there
at all. Hey, you got to do what you got to do.
I mean, literally afterwards, Caleb was like,
the noises I heard, I thought you would only
hear at an exorcism. I was screeching, like deep,
deep, demon -y voice, then screeching. Like,
it was so painful. um so I'm pushing in the tub
eventually and my water breaks my bloody show
comes out and I'm like okay like it's happening
and I kind of switched from like that like I
can't I can't to like I'm doing it but I'm like
really like tired and after pushing for about
like 45 minutes my midwife was like Well, she
kept telling me to do different positions. And
at that point I was like, absolutely not. Like
I am not moving a toe at this point. Like you
can't. Oh, I was like, that sounds horrible.
They're also like the whole time shoving yogurt
in my mouth, shoving like, yeah, like the electrolytes,
the protein shake. Like, and I was just like,
good gosh, if you, I hated it. but then eventually
she was like let's get on the bed and so i get
on the bed just to like lay down because i was
like my i was my shoulder hurts so bad from like
holding myself up for so long so i get on the
bed and i'm just laying on my back and i'm pushing
and they finally see her head you know like at
this point though they say it and i i am so out
of it like it does not register to me labor at
this point in time I went into labor – I would
say I technically, like, went into labor around,
like, 1230. Like, very baby contractions where
I was like, is this what's happening? Mm -hmm.
At this point, it is – you see her head at 915.
Okay. Which the last – I was fine until transition
and then pushing. So around, like, 8 o 'clock.
Mm -hmm. 7 o 'clock, I would say, is when transition
started. So the hardest part of labor was from
7 to the baby in the morning. And so, yeah, so
they finally see her head. They're telling me
that they see her head, and I just literally
can't hear them. Like, I'm just, like, I'm so
out of it. I'm, like, still just, like, screaming
at my pushes. It hurts so bad. It hurts so bad.
And so then she's not, like, moving after that.
Like, she's still, and they're checking her heart
rate, like, every minute at this point. um then
they switched me back onto my hands and knees
because they're like you know she did have a
big baby last time let's make sure like positioning
is good so I'm back on my hands and knees it
helps her descend more she is like crowning but
then I was like I cannot I'm so tired like I
cannot be on my hands and knees anymore so I
like go back on my back and they finally put
a mirror down and I was like and that was the
first time I like it connected in my head. I
was like, oh my gosh, I'm really close. And at
this point, I've been like 30 minutes of everything
like that and I didn't understand. And also like
once the head's out, it's pretty easy. Yes. I
mean, the shoulders are rough too, I guess, but
like. No, I agree. Once the head's out. Once
the head's out. Because like at that point, everything
kind of just goes. Yeah. And so I was like, okay.
But then like it was so painful. Like I could
feel that like. you know, everything's just stretching
down there. And so I was almost more afraid to
push too fast. Cause I've heard that's, you know,
like how you tear. And so I was like, Oh, like
if I push harder, like I want her out. And so
it was just like, you know, this mental thing.
Do you feel like you were able to like, listen
to your body or were you just so tired at that
point that you were like, I don't even know like
if, when I should be pushing or. Oh, I, I, yes.
I was very tired, but also, like, every time,
like, I felt like it was just, like, obviously
I'm pushing because I just was, you know? But,
like, the extra push in me was hard for me because
I was, like, it was hurting so bad, the ring
of fire. Felt like it lasted so long. But then
my midwife at one point was like, your baby wants
to come out now. And she's seen her head. It's
almost been, like, 40 minutes of her head just
being, like, hurt. She's just on your pubic bone.
That's why it hurts right now. Yes, yes. She's
like, we can be done with this. And so, anyways,
I finally get her head out. And she has her hand,
like, her arm is across her body and her hand's
by her cheek. So it's, like, kind of like a nuchal.
So that was part of why she was stuck. on my
pubic bone is because she was in a funky position
um she also had a cord wrapped around her neck
and they quickly yeah yeah quickly i didn't even
know like yeah yeah they just do it i think it
happens way more than oh yeah i think but the
story says it's one in three births i mean i
can imagine they're so tight and yeah uterus
like yes i yeah how could it not yeah but then
we just hear the like horrifying stories that
are like so that's it that that's the fear yeah
And she was like, probably about like a, you
know, one, four, one, three. It happens. Yeah,
so they pop the little cord off and they're like,
catch your baby. And so, yeah, I put my hands
down and. Did it register to you at that moment?
Like, I just freaking did this. I was still nervous.
I really didn't want to be transferred. I was
still nervous that if I teared bad enough, I
would have to be transferred. So I didn't feel
calm yet until I knew that like, they're like,
oh, it's just a one degree. You're fine. Like,
we're not going anywhere. You're good. Like,
she's good. Like, then I could finally be like,
oh my gosh, like I did the thing. It was, I mean.
It was the craziest feeling, being so aware of
every moment. And so you caught her then, is
what it sounds like. Me and Caleb. That's awesome.
Yeah. He got his gooey baby. He's got gooey baby
hands. How was Caleb in all of this? Do you feel
like he stayed pretty calm, cool, collected?
Oh, yeah. He was super calm. almost to the point
where in the pictures it looks like he's disassociating
like he's never looking at me like he'll be doing
hip compressions looking to the side or like
he's just like focusing i think he said he got
nauseous when i was like really in pain so i
think he was trying to physically be near me
but like wasn't also not be the patient himself
in some ways yes like So you have to, like, defend
him in pictures. Like, I promise he loves me
and our child. He's there, but he's, like, not
there. But, yeah, he was great. And having my
sister there and my mom there, it was just so
special. Yeah, I mean, they, you know, sewed
me up. And then I gave birth to the placenta,
and that was, like, the weirdest jellyfish feeling
in the whole world. And it was probably, like,
an hour. later, after she was born, that they
cut the cord. Wow. So they just had the placenta
chilling in, like, a Ziploc bag for a while.
Whoa. I know. It was so weird. And we got to
look at it. We got to look at her sack. Like,
it was the coolest experience. That's a wild
experience. Oh, yeah. And we're all just, like,
laying on my bed. Like, all the midwives are
just, you know. And then we finally, you know,
once they cut the cord, now we can, like, weigh
her. And she's already nursed. And, like, you
know. Was she also a big baby or no? No. I mean.
She was 8 pounds, 9 ounces. Okay, that's pretty
average. Average baby. I swear it was because
of how I ate and managed my blood sugar. It wasn't
that I wasn't a calorie deficit. Like, let me
be clear, I ate 3 ,000 calories every single
day. But it was managing blood sugar. Yeah. Which
is crazy. Yeah, so, I mean, and then, you know,
I'm eating my chicken noodle soup that I had,
like, meal prepped. everyone's like you know
around me and they're like you know it's just
like this beautiful like it's all the people
that i like wanted to be there and at the end
like the midwives like we all like got in a circle
and the midwives like saying the doxology and
it was like i mean the i mean yes i mean like
what what a night and day difference from like
all my other experiences of becoming a mom like
I was so fully present like I had made every
decision like it was so redemptive and so painful
yeah I will never tell people that it's not painful
no yeah oh my gosh yeah but then you're still
like I mean I don't know if you guys want more
kids but for me every time I'm like but I want
another one yeah it took me a bit afterwards
I was like oh my gosh like I don't even – like
I recommend – hear me say. I recommend home birth
because the three hours that were the most painful
thing I've ever experienced in my entire life
times a million, like nothing has ever compared
to how painful that was. And I'm not going to
sugarcoat it. It was horrible. It was worth it
for my entire prenatal experience for – the postnatal
experience of the midwives coming to my house
like two days after and doing the weight checks.
And then a week later, and like, I never, I didn't
leave my house for two weeks. Like, and yeah,
like that experience of like, of my midwife praying
over me during my birth, like that is what was
worth it, you know? So yeah. What was your experience
then introducing your kids to Danny? They came,
she was born on a Friday night at, like, 1030
-ish. And they came Sunday morning. They came
home back, back home Sunday morning. And, oh,
my gosh, they were so sweet. I mean, the video
of it is just, like, these boys, like, before
MJ, he was three at the time, before he left,
like, when I was going to labor, he went into
his room and, like, picked out a handsome shirt
that he said he wanted to wear when he met his
sister. stop it i mean they're obsessed with
her they're still they not one of them has had
one moment of jealousy Wow. That's crazy. It's
been the craziest thing. They think she's the
best thing ever. And now she has four big brothers,
so if anyone ever messes with her, she's so protected.
And from some of the stories you've told us,
I'm like, I don't think we want to be messing
with her. Oh, no. Yeah, these brothers, they
don't joke around. No, like, yeah, some people
were like, she's going to be, like, really tough
or she's going to be, like, really princess.
And I was like, it's princess. Like, she, I mean,
they call her princess. Like, they're obsessed
with her. I love that. So sweet. It's so sweet.
So is there anything, you did like a ton of research,
we know that. Is there anything that you didn't
know that you wish you had known or you wish
someone had like told you or anything before
you got into home birth? You know, I watched
a lot of home birth videos, but I always typed
in positive. Sure. Yeah. And not that mine wasn't
positive. Nothing bad happened. Like, but it
was typically someone who. this was like their
second or third vaginal birth. And a first vaginal
birth is just different. Like they don't slip
out as easy. Like your body is still like, it's
in a lot of ways, like your first time, you know?
And it's because like, I know for me looking
at, so I've had two natural births and looking
at both of them, the first time you don't know
you can do it. Yes. You know, like maybe in your
head you're like, God made me this way, blah,
blah, blah. Yes. All the mantras you tell yourself,
yeah. Yeah, but you've never done it before.
Yes. So, and the second time, like, because I
definitely had the moment both times, but the
second time was like, I can't do it, I can't
do it. And I literally looked at Stuart, I was
like, I can't do this. He was like, but you've
done it before. Yes. Like, you can do it because
you have. Yes. Like, you can do it a second time.
So you don't have that. If your second birth
is your first natural birth, you're like, I don't
have in my head like, oh, I've done this before.
Totally. So I can. Totally. no the last time
they cut me open and took my baby out and I was
asleep yes so like is that how it's gonna end
this time totally totally so all my videos that
I had watched were like these beautiful water
births of moms who have like this is their fourth
baby they're just flying out of them like and
they're so peaceful and calm and I'm like I remember
afterwards like you know when they came back
like two days later I was like that was crazy
right like And what I experienced was crazy,
right? You're like, say yes, right? I was like,
that was crazy. That is not what I watched in
my videos. And they're like, pretty normal. So
I wish I would have watched. Mind you guys, I
pushed so hard, my eyeballs were bloodshot. Wow.
Blood vessels popped. All throughout my eyes
on both sides. Like, I looked crazy. Just really
nice birth pictures. Oh, oh, I, yeah. It was
not pretty. Like, and it was, that part was,
like, my midwife kept checking on me, like, how
are your eyes doing? Like, that's not super normal.
You're really straining there. Like, I can't
feel these. I can feel that. Right? Oh, my gosh,
yeah. I was about to pop it on my head. But,
so anyways, I wish I would have. I watched like
long birth videos, like hard birth videos, like
typed in something besides like positive. Home
birth. Redemptive birth. Yes. I'm like, I want
to hear someone like growl. I want to hear like
the pushing be hard. I want to hear people say
I can't. Like I didn't, I didn't watch any of
those. Yeah. And like, obviously it makes sense
that you don't want to watch the traumatic ones.
Yes. I'm not saying traumatic. Yeah. Cause I
even am like, if I know someone who's pregnant,
especially for the first time, I'm like. Don't
listen to anyone who has a scary story. Yes.
Like, do research and, like, have information
for sure. Totally. But don't listen to the scary
stories while you're pregnant because that's
going to get in your head. Yes. And, like, obviously
those stories have time and place and, like,
I don't want to dismiss them at all. But when
you're pregnant, it's not the time or place.
Right. Like, you need the support of, like, you
can do this. Yes. You need to ingrain in your
head that it's possible, which I was like, it's
possible. But then I was also like. am I a bad
birther? Cause that was like crazy. And I was
not calm and I was not happy. Like that's not
what I saw in the videos. So yeah. Watch, watch
the loud birth videos. Yeah. Well, what is something
you would tell someone who's either considering
a home birth or prepping for a home birth? Genuinely
like a find, like really try and find a good
midwife. That will change your whole experience.
Same with an OB. Like, the who you pick is going
to change your experience. But then also at the
same time, that OB, that midwife, it's not their
responsibility to, like, do the research for
you. Like, you need to be informed about all
the decisions you're making. Like, don't take
a backseat to the doctor. Don't take a backseat
to even your midwife. Like, even if you feel
like you both align. on like how, like all the
things, it's still your baby. It's still your
body. Like, so I think taking accountability,
cause I, you know, I'd like to think that I can
just blame the OB for my first birth and the
anesthesiologist cause they scared me into my
birth. Yeah. But really like I didn't prep myself.
Like I. I made all those decisions. Be informed.
You can let yourself off the bat a little bit
where I feel like lots of women have that experience.
The doctor just tells you something and you're
like, oh, okay. A lot of times the way they say
it, you don't feel like you have a choice. We
are inducing you at 39 weeks. This is what we
recommend and think is the best option for you.
My midwife, it would be my three -week postpartum
appointment and they would still Can I check
her heart rate? Like, even though she's checked
her heart rate so many times, like, I'm going
to ask you again. I will get consent every single
time to touch her baby. Like, which is, that's
so different. Like, they usually, I mean, they'll
snatch her baby. Like, it's so, I mean, just
the, like. I loved that. Like, and I didn't know
how much I needed that after, especially my foster
care experience of like, yeah, this is my baby.
Like, you know, and just because you're the medical
professional doesn't mean that like you are able
to just touch my baby, you know, you get to decide.
Yes. Yeah. Yeah. That's, I love that your story
is so redemptive and obviously not everyone's
story is going to be like that, but I just think
like, like how cool like i'm so happy i got to
have a v -back yeah like how awesome that you
got to do that at home yeah that's so cool yeah
it was it was yes like you can take it kind of
like do your research you can eat the right things
whatever but like i think what i learned is like
it's like god I did so much research on like,
you know, the curse of birth, right? Like I listened
to the Bible project did something on like that
being the curse, whatever. And how actually that
is like not like labor is not the curse. Like
the curse is that God is the one who gives life.
Like, and it blew my mind because it was like,
it coincides with, you know, when he said it'll
be hard for the man to work, right? It wasn't
like. man like you're gonna have tension in your
office like it's like you providing for your
family like this ground will be hard for you
to provide life for your family and the woman
is like only God can provide life like and so
for me it was this like every all my boys and
Danny like every single one of them like it was
God like God kept my kiddos safe in utero during
hard things. And God, like God gets the glory
of all their births, you know? So I think that
was like, you know, I'm proud of myself. I thought
it was cool. I'm thankful that I got to see it
and be there and be so present. But like, and
also like. God is good in all of my children's
births, you know? That's awesome. All right.
My one last question is how can I convince my
husband that I should have a home birth for our
next baby? That's so funny. You can hang out
with Caleb and you can hear his experience because
honestly, Caleb was like, he hated the hospital.
Like he was like those beds, you know, like.
When I can imagine like being shoved out of the
room while the person you love most is. literally
about to die totally totally that's so scary
yes and like is the baby okay yeah yeah and especially
like i don't know how much he was told too like
i'm imagining not much no just like they like
shoved him in some random room too and my mom
was at that birth but she couldn't go into the
c -section room in general so she was like sitting
on a bench and gets a text from caleb being like
they kicked me out and so yeah so anyways convince
your husband um Honestly, my thing with Caleb,
too, was if you can do more research than me
and prove to me why not, go ahead. Go ahead.
Do the research. But I'm stubborn that way. I'm
like, if you can point to the facts and outprove
me, go ahead. You're not going to, but I've done
more research. You are welcome to try. Love it.
Yeah. Well, do you have any last thoughts, anything
you want to share that we haven't yet? Oh, man.
I also think, like, I kind of said this about
God giving the glory, but it's, like, I think
our births are important, and I also think that
God cares. Like, God, he does care. And also,
like, then you're a mom, right? Like, that is
a small part of your mothering experience. So
if you've had a bad experience, like, that does
not determine who you are as a mom. And so. Yeah.
Yeah. Well, thank you so much for being on for
two episodes. Thanks for having me. You have
such a crazy story and so many facets to it that
I think a lot of moms are going to love to hear
about. Thanks. I love that. Yeah. Well, do we
want to wrap up with our wins of the week? Yes.
I can go first. So my win actually happened tonight
before coming over here. Um, so I was getting
ready to go and I always bring Cruz with me and
Colt this time he, so it was like six o 'clock
when I was starting to head over. Um, so I put
Cruz in the car seat and Colt grabs his shoes
and he likes, he always sits on the bottom stair
to, to get his shoes on and starts putting his
boots on like his, his, um, combat boots. Which
are the only pair of shoes that he can put on
on his own. He's figured it out. And I was like,
oh, buddy, what are you doing? Are you going
to go outside? And he said, no, mama, Colty podcast.
Podcast. Yeah. And I was like, oh, buddy. I was
like, I wish you could come. I would love if
you could come, but it's almost bedtime. You're
going to stay with daddy. And he just like lost
it. And I was like, oh. So we're going to have
to have an episode with Lloyd and Cole. Yes.
It's just going to be, we're going to have to
just follow them around with the mics. There's
going to be lots of, I go potty. Yeah. I go potty.
So, um, yeah, I, that was my win of just like,
I don't know. It was just really cute. So cute.
He wanted to hang out with me. Yes. Yeah. I loved
it. That's so cute. Yep. All right. Uh, so for
me, Our kids share a room, and Zeta's still in
the bassinet with us at night, but for nap time
they're both in their cribs. Okay. And it's been
a little bit of a journey getting them both used
to sharing a room and sleeping. Honestly, that's
so impressive because Zeta's, what, seven months?
Six months. Yeah, six months. But the other day,
it was a short nap, so that, like, wasn't great.
But when I, like, went in to get them up, they
were just, like, looking at each other and giggling.
And it was just the cutest thing in the world.
And, like, I guess I'm just going to, like, let
you hang out. You're like, I've actually whined
in life because of this moment right here. Yeah,
Lloyd would just, like, walk to the edge of his
crib and, like, look down at Zeta. And she would
look up at him. And they would just, like, laugh
at each other. And, like, I don't know what you're
laughing at, but this is the best moment. This
is a core memory for sure. Yeah. So sweet. What
about you? Honestly, this is the longest I've
ever been away from Dani. This right here. So
that's a win in the way that I'm like, Caleb's
got all five at home. Yeah, I was going to ask.
She doesn't take a bottle, but he's going to
try. He's going to try. Yeah. And so I'm like,
okay, like mommy's doing a thing. Yeah. Yeah.
Good for you. Good for you. Yeah, that's a lot.
Yes. Yeah. But it's a win. Yes. I'm here. That's
a great win. Yeah. Yeah. Getting away is tough,
especially if she doesn't take a bottle. Yeah.
I feel you on that one. We just haven't had a
reason to try hard on it. No. Yeah. So. And when
she's with you all the time, it's easier. I'm
like, who wants to pump? Like, that sucks. Moms
who pump exclusively. no shade i just they should
get a huge i don't know i think i would give
up really quickly honestly i for sure would yeah
yeah like just the amount of dishes and cleaning
in and of itself yeah all right well thank you
all for listening to l's episode um we were super
excited to have her on yeah and yeah rate review
subscribe thanks a lot for listening see you
next week