Thank you. Hi, everyone. Welcome back to No Manual
and MomCast, where this is a place for moms to
connect and hear all about the reality of motherhood,
the highs, the lows, everything in between. And
actually, what we're going to be talking about
today is our two -year highs and lows. So Erica's
little guy, Lloyd, just turned two. Yesterday.
Yesterday. And then Colt is about to turn two
this next month. So we're two years into it.
to motherhood, and we've definitely got some
highs and lows to chat about. So we're going
to talk about that today. Yeah. Well, do you
want to hop into your mom moment of the week
first? So last night we went to a concert as
a family. Fun. And it was super fun. The ride
there was... the most stressful experience was
like i legitimately thought i was not gonna have
fun at the concert because that's where the drive
was so for starters the venue is an outdoor venue
it's about an hour away from us i think when
we mapped it out it said it was gonna take like
50 minutes which we're like okay kind of a long
time in the car for the kids but you know it's
fine and then it took over an hour and a half
to get there and then it also started like storming
hailing terrible to drive down so we're like
so your anxiety is just all over the place so
i'm like i don't even know if like in the venue
says that you're gonna do their concerts rain
or shine so i'm like okay so but i don't this
is an outdoor venue it's an outdoor venue so
i'm like but i don't want to be there with my
two little kids if it's like storming also for
driving over an hour i don't want to just turn
around and go home no and then so lloyd is mostly
potty trained at this point And we're about halfway.
Cruz has a lot to say about your concert too.
For anyone listening, both babies are awake,
so they'll be making comments the whole time,
I'm sure. Yeah, so Lloyd's mostly potty trained.
And so we're about halfway there. The GPS is
like, you're still 40 minutes away. And Lloyd
just starts going, potty, potty, potty. You're
like, thank you for telling us. Yeah, we're like,
thanks for telling us, but can you hold it? Like,
can you wait till we get to where we're going?
And he also likes to practice his words. So that's
an unfortunate one because we're like, we can
never really tell if he's just like practicing
his words or if he's saying that he has to go.
But we try to take him seriously when he says
it so that he like has that association. And
then he started getting like frustrated, like
potty, potty, potty, and like upset. Yeah. So
you're like, oh, dang it. So the whole time,
like 40 minutes we're in the car. just like anticipating
we're gonna get there he's gonna have had an
accident yeah like we always have backup clothes
for him because we expect it at this point but
it and it's like pouring rain we're like what
is this night can we just turn around and go
home yeah i'm so done with this traffic is terrible
partially because apparently it's a thing to
just like park your car under an underpass oh
yes while it's raining and hailing yeah so people
were just like parked in the road oh gosh which
was making it worse Yeah, and I mean, we got
there. He made it. He didn't have an accident.
That's really impressive for 40 minutes. Yeah,
we were both like, I don't know. I don't know
how that happened. That's a miracle. It hadn't
rained at the venue and didn't rain while we
were there. So it turned out really well. But
just like the whole drive. And even this morning,
Stuart was like, I bet if we knew that Lloyd
hadn't wet himself in the car seat. We probably
wouldn't have been as anxious, but the whole
drive we were just like, oh, no. Like, if this
is the start of the night, how is the rest of
the night going to go? Yeah. The rest of the
night did go well. It was just a very stressful
drive down. Oh, gosh. I feel like the anxiety
I feel in the car when, like, both kids are not
happy. Yes. Is a whole new level of anxiety.
Yeah. And then add rain or hail and all the things
into it. Yeah. It's like, I'd rather just be
home. Yeah, like, why did we decide that we were
going to go to this? But it worked out great.
Okay, my mom moment. My mom moment's kind of
sad. Kind of, like, sweet in a sense, too. So
our dog died a couple weeks ago. Super unexpected.
He was really young. It just, yeah, it was really
devastating for our family. and along with that
so colt and him were like best buddies and i
think that's the most like sad part of it for
me is like the way that we envisioned our family
is like with our dog brisket and obviously that's
not like the way our kids are gonna grow up now
is with him because i mean brisket was only three
years old when he died and a specific story that
It's really sweet and really, like, makes my
heart just feel really soft towards all of this.
So we were on vacation this last week with my
family, and Colt was taking a nap, and then he
woke up from his nap. He was, like, sleeping
on the couch. And he woke up, and I was, like,
sitting on the ground, I think, like, playing
with Cruz or something. And he goes, Mama, and,
like. For him to wake up from a nap, like, not
crying, too, is, like, pretty rare. And he, like,
didn't know where, he, like, couldn't see me.
He didn't know where I was. And he just went,
mama. And I was like, yeah, buddy. And then I,
like, went up towards him and he went, Bicky.
And I was like, blankie? Because when he says
blankie, it kind of sounds the same as brisky.
And he was like, no. And I was like, oh, brisky?
And he was like, yes, brisky. And I was like,
oh, buddy, did you have a dream about brisky?
And he said, yes. And I said, oh, buddy, that's
so sweet. I was like, what were you guys doing?
And he said, playing. And I went, really, buddy?
I was like, that melts mommy's heart. That makes
me so happy. And I'm like, was it fun? And he
went, yes. And I was like, do you miss Briski?
And he's, yes. I was like, oh, buddy, that is
just so sweet. I'm like, you know, Briski's happy.
Briski's in heaven. And he just was like, yes.
And so, yeah, we've been having a lot of moments
like that, a lot of sad moments where he's like.
he's been looking for him or calling for him
in the house. And I don't think he, like, he
doesn't quite understand yet that he's not there.
And we like, I don't know. We try to explain
to him, but I'm also like, he's only two. So,
or almost two. So he doesn't like, I don't know.
I don't feel like we need to fully explain to
him yet. Right. What's happening. But I also
like the side of it is like, I want him to remember
who brisky was. I don't know, it's just a weird
situation as a whole. It's really sad, and he,
like, I know he, like, recalls, sadly, because
Colt saw the whole situation happen, and so he's,
like, been retelling that story, too, in, like,
his own vocabulary. Which I know is really normal
for, like, toddlers to process. Yeah, process
that way. But he, like, yeah, he'll, like, kind
of reenact, like, what happened, and then, like,
Daddy calling me. And it's so sad. And also there's
little, like, sweet, I don't know, moments of
it all. I think it just shows, like, his character
that's coming out. Yeah. He's such a sweet kid
and loved his dog. Mm -hmm. Yeah. Yeah. He's
having fun with his dog. I know. That's so cute.
I know. It is so cute. I'm so glad. I always
want to know what Lloyd dreams about at night.
Yes. Yeah. I wish he could tell me. Me too. I
mean, obviously, like. I don't know 100 % if
that he actually dreamed about Brisky. But, like,
I think that the fact that he, like, said that
right when he woke up, I was like, oh, something
triggered that in his mind when he was sleeping.
So I'm like, maybe he, like, he must have had
a dream about him. Like, it was so out of the
blue that I'm like, okay, yes, he did. That's
so cute. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, we. I want
to just chat today about two -year highs and
lows. Obviously, motherhood's full of ups and
downs, as all of you listeners know. Good days
and bad days, but we're two years. I mean, you're
just over two years in. I'm just about two years
in. I think there's a lot of highs and lows.
We're going to chat about a few of them today.
I can start. I'll start with my first low, which
is when Lloyd got RSV. Oh. And, I mean, he didn't
get it super seriously. Like, he was never hospitalized
or anything like that. But it was one of those
things where, like, he got sick and we, like,
knew he was sick. And I'm, I feel like I'm a
fairly chill mom. Like, there's a level of, like,
I know my kid is going to get sick. And so I
wasn't super panicked until we, like, woke up
and he was, like. not able to breathe pretty
much and so we're like okay we need to go to
urgent care yeah and while we were like waiting
for the test stewart made a joke he's like lloyd
you can have anything you just can't have rsv
and then like nurse or doctor whoever comes in
and like so he has rsv cool um yeah the one thing
we told you not to do buddy but and i think one
of the things that was so hard about it is you
just hear the horror stories right which is like
RSV is fairly common for little kids and like
Lloyd had it. He was fine. You know, it was a
rough week, but the whole time you're just like
picturing the pictures you see online. Like on
a ventilator. Yeah. And like not to dismiss any
of those stories, but like that's all you think
about. So the whole time you're just like. you're
like we're gonna end up in the hospital right
you're panicked yeah but then also your kid is
sick and anytime your kid is sick and especially
with something like that where it's like he was
having a hard time breathing yeah it's just so
sad it is and it was so sad to watch so I had
RSV too I think similar time yeah Lloyd I think
Lloyd had it like the month before I think so
yeah and we did end up taking Colt to the ER
twice to get suctioned okay and I never in my
life have wanted to take someone's like pain
away from them. Yeah. And I know as a mother,
that's so like, that's so common with your kids,
but like, oh my gosh, that was, that was terrible.
It was terrible. It was so horrible. It's so
sad to watch. Yeah. I think one of my biggest
highs for Cole is when he started walking and
like took those first steps. Obviously all the
milestones are like, really awesome and fun but
when he took those first few steps in actually
the house we currently live in it was like I
felt so much joy and also like flashed before
my eyes of like oh my gosh we gotta put a baby
gate here we gotta put a yeah we gotta do all
these things to like baby proof the house and
yeah it just was I don't know it was just such
a happy a happy moment That's so fun. Yeah. Okay,
so then my next low is from a couple weeks ago.
Lloyd got his first concussion. Oh, yeah. It
was fairly minor. I mean, it was a minor concussion.
happened with my parents and they felt so so
bad not that it was their fault he like tripped
and didn't put his arms out to catch himself
which is weird like what happened yeah i'm like
you know how to catch yourself and so he smacked
his head on some concrete and then like the next
day the next couple of days he was just like
super grumpy and he wasn't eating and it wasn't
just that he wasn't eating like I mean, he's
a toddler, so sometimes he just, like, doesn't
want to eat. But usually if that's the case,
he's, like, throwing food because he thinks it's
a game or just, like, ignoring his food or whatever.
And this time it was, like, he was throwing a
fit when we were trying to get him to eat, and
we're like, this is not you. So finally we took
him in, and the doctor's like, yeah, it sounds
like he probably has a minor concussion. And
it was just so sad. We are glad we took him in,
though, because she was like, the only thing
you should do is avoid screen time. We're like.
Cool, cool, cool, because our plan for this afternoon
was to go home and watch Cars, so now we know
that's not the vibe. So he got some monster trucks
to play with. He got a concussion toy. We went
to Walmart. Concussion toy. And he got to pick
something out. He's like, ooh, a concussion toy?
Let me do this again. Yeah, probably. But it's
so sad. Again, kind of like my last one, where
it's just sad to see your kid go through pain
and just not be themself. Yeah. It's always rough.
Yeah. My next high is this is just kind of a
general high, I guess, not a specific moment.
But I know this to be true that I'm living in
the good old days. And I think that's like just
a good reminder for me in every single moment
of just like these are the like these are the
best days of my life right now. I do think I
take advantage of that. And I do think like,
I, I truly, truly know that. And it just brings
me so much joy to know that, like, I don't know,
this is something like having kids was not something
I thought I could have. And I now have two kids
and I just have never been happier, I guess.
Yeah. I don't know. That's kind of, there's not
a moment to that, but it's just a general, a
general high of being a mother. It's like. it's
so joyful it's so hard it is so hard there are
days when it's really hard to remember that yeah
yeah but like these really are the good old days
and I know like 30 years from now I'm gonna look
back and be like those were the best days of
my life and that just it brings me so much joy
to know that yeah yeah all right my next low
was or is going back to work both times both
when I went back to work after maternity leave
with Lloyd and then I went back to work about
two weeks ago after Zeta's maternity leave and
both times were just so hard yeah the first time
actually was harder I think partially just because
I like didn't know what to expect whereas this
time there was I mean This time was harder in
different ways, but I know the first time my
parents took Lloyd for my first day back, my
dad, like, came to pick him up so I didn't have
to worry about dropping him off. And I just,
like, cried for half an hour after he left. But,
yeah, where it's like, I want to be able to,
like, give my kids as much of my energy as I
can. Kind of like give them my all and it's really
hard to go back to work and not have that option
as much. Yep. And just the adjustment for everyone,
right? Where it's like Lloyd's been a little
bit grumpier the past few weeks and Zeta too.
And I mean, both of them are teething, which
is super fun. So fun to have two kids teething.
So, I mean, I know that's part of it, but then
I also know like part of it is just we're in
this adjustment period of mom wasn't working
for five months and now I'm back to working and
we have to figure that out and what. this new
routine looks like and yeah well and that's like
an extra added level for you that's like it's
just I mean parenthood already is exhausting
yeah adding a full -time job onto that yep wow
yeah I feel like there's a whole nother level
of it too whenever it's you're also working remotely
So it's like you're caring for your, you're like,
you're already doing a full -time job as a mother.
Yep. And then you're adding a full -time job
job. Mm -hmm. So are you working two jobs? Right.
And you want to be a good and present mother.
You also want to be a good and present employee.
Yes. And trying to juggle it both. And it's like,
and also like, we can't afford full -time daycare,
but also I don't want my kids, I want to be around
my kids. Yeah. So I don't want them in full -time
daycare. And I mean, we have. my parents, my
in -laws close. So they're helping with childcare,
which makes a huge difference for me. Cause I'm
like, okay, they're with like, just like having
your kids with someone who, you know, and who,
you know, like actually loves them versus daycare
where it's just like, it is their job. And you
know, it's just a different, get your kid fed
and changed. Right. It's just a different experience.
And I know that some people's only options, but
like, yeah, there's just a piece for me that
comes with like, okay, when they're gone, at
least they're with grandparents who. who love
them but yeah going back to work rough not fun
it is not fun I feel you on that okay another
one of my highs with Colt so like the past couple
of weeks I swear it's almost been a shift of
like now he's almost talking in full sentences
it's not just one word it's like multiple words
like strung together yeah Lloyd started doing
that pretty much in the same last few weeks yeah
and it's so like It's so fun to me because I
feel like now it's shifted from like, oh, I have
like a little toddler to like, oh, he's like
a boy. He's turning into a kid. Yeah, he's a
kid. And he like, he is understanding pretty
much everything I'm saying. And I feel like it
just happened so quickly, that shift. And I know
maybe it didn't happen, but in my head it happened
really fast. No, I feel like. It was like overnight.
Yeah, I feel like Lloyd. It's kind of the same
where it's like he started picking up words and
he was like picking up words regularly. And then
all of a sudden it's like he can say multiple
words. And like this week, I swear he's been
saying a new word every single day. Yeah. Or
like repeating. Yeah. Like you just saw, Stuart
just sent us a video. He said airplane for the
first time, you know. It's the best. Or yeah,
he's been stringing words together too. Like
since he's been potty training, he says no more
potty. No more potty. All done with potty. Yeah.
That's so great. We are going to start potty
training soon. And it, yeah, scares the living
bejesus out of me. But, yeah. Less diapers. Yeah,
less diapers for sure. Okay. What is another
one of your lows? Let's see. Okay. My next one,
speaking of potty training, is the process of
potty training. Just to, you know, give you some
encouragement. Just to give me an encouragement,
yeah. The first. A few weeks are just, like,
kind of rough. Yeah. Because there are lots of
accidents. And we did the, oh, crap, body training
book method. And one of the things that was encouraging
for me was there was a point where I was like,
this isn't working. We should just, like, give
up and come back to this later. And then I, like.
Went back to the like chapter of like where we
were at to see like, are we doing something wrong?
Something like that. And one of the things she
said was like, this is the time when most parents
give up. And that was super encouraging, weirdly,
just because I was like, OK, it's not just me
that feels this way. This also means it's a hump
we have to get over. Not that something's going
wrong. And just like being able to know that
is really nice. But just like the process of
you have like two weeks at least where you're
just like. constantly watching your kid and like
you have cleaning supplies ready to go to like
clean pee or poop off the floor and you know
now we're at the point where he's really good
at communicating and more often than not if he
has an accident it's our fault because we like
didn't we're on top of it yeah so yeah the process
was very very hard fun but can't wait you got
it You know, I'm like, do we have to do this?
Yes, we have to potty train our child. Yes, and
I've heard it's easier at this age than later.
I would bet especially for Colt because he's
just so... He's like showing all the signs that
he's ready. Well, and so I've heard that older,
like once they start to realize they're independent,
then it makes it harder because they want to
assert their independence, which is a normal
thing for, you know, three, four -year -olds
to do. Yeah. So, but that can make potty training
harder. And I feel like Colt is already very
independent for you. In that window. Yeah. I
know we just need to do it. I think I'm terrified
of like, it is going to be a lot of work. And
I'm like, it's going to just be a lot of energy.
There's also everything in parenting is that
way, right? Yeah. You know, it's just a lot of
things are just not as messy, literally. But,
you know, it's like labor was a lot of work,
but it was worth it. I'll be so happy we did
it once we do, but it feels exhausting right
now. Yeah, I will say the first four days was
way more exhausting than we thought. Every time
we went to bed, it was like we ran a marathon
that day. We were so tired. But now I'm super
grateful that we did it. That's so good to know.
Okay, my next high is watching Colt become a
big brother. And I knew... In the beginning,
it was honestly really hard. He just had a really
hard time adjusting. And he still has his moments
for sure, but he has had some of the sweetest
moments with Cruz where he'll just walk up to
him and just kiss him on the head and just be
like, hi, Cruz, or hi, brother. And I'm like,
this is, it just is like little glimpses of their
childhood. I think like I was so afraid going
into like becoming a mom of two because I knew
that my attention would have to shift slightly.
For sure. Or really it just like had to split.
And I think I was like grieving the fact that
Colt wasn't going to get my full attention anymore.
Yep. And now I feel like I'm finally starting
to see like, oh, no, this is like this is a really,
really good thing for him. And like. I've actually
like we've given him a really good gift of his
brother. And I don't know. It just has been it's
been extremely challenging. I feel like with
every high comes its challenges. But I think
that it is just like I'm seeing little glimpses
of just the benefit of it now. And it is, like,
I get to sit back and I'm getting to sit back
and watch a little bit more. And, like, rather
than being on guard of, like, oh, he's going
to hit him in the face. Right. Which he still
does, but. I'm sure he still will until later.
Oh, yeah. For sure. Yeah, Cruz is like, my brother
hits me in the face. Yeah, sorry, dude. Sorry,
buddy. It's a younger sibling reality. Yeah.
Yep. Okay, what's your next low? My final low
is, so Lloyd is really, really sweet. That's
not my low. He's really sweet, and he's really
good at sharing, but other kids aren't, which
is fine. Like, all kids are learning. My child
is not good at sharing. And I understand that,
but there have been a couple times we've been,
like, with other kids, and another kid will just,
like, rip something out of his hands, which,
again, like. I get that as a little kid you're
still learning how to, you know, they're learning
too. But Lloyd doesn't, like, throw a tantrum
or get mad or anything. He just, like, asks for
his toy back. And it's the cutest, sweetest thing.
But then it makes me so sad because I'm like,
do we need to, like, toughen him up and, like.
Oh, he just, like, lets them kind of, like. Yeah.
And so we're like, we need to, like, teach him.
But then I also don't want to ruin this, like,
sweet mentality that just, like, naturally exists
in him. Because then also if you ask him to share.
no hesitation and it's so cute so I'm like I
feel terrible that he like these other kids just
like take things from him and he like doesn't
really understand yeah like it's happened a couple
times and every time it just like breaks my heart
yeah like I don't really know what to do especially
like I'm not gonna parent someone else's kid
that's not my job but like but also look at my
kid yeah he's awesome yeah that's that's a great
um great one Okay, my last high is watching my
husband become a dad. And I know that's not like
about motherhood necessarily, but I feel like
I always dreamed of watching him become a dad.
And when he did become a dad, it's like, I mean,
I'm sure you know, like you fall in love all
over again. And it's like so much, he's such
a good dad. and everything I dreamed of for my
kids and so I think that that is just like such
a big high because I know like I know I can trust
him he's like he's parenting the way that I would
want him to parent and that we've like we've
decided upon and he's just like he's such a good
role model for my kids to grow up with so I feel
like that's just like one of my biggest highs
of the last two years is like everything that
that I've wanted for my kids in a dad is is there
so yeah uh well that's my first tie oh really
is watching stewart become a dad yeah it's been
super fun to see like him step into that role
and then also like as lloyd specifically gets
older zeta isn't quite there yet just seeing
how their relationship develops like i said we
were at a concert last night and stewart was
just like running around with lloyd and like
had lloyd on his shoulders to like watch the
show and it was like so sweet and they were both
having so much fun that's so sweet and someone
one of the people we were with she like leaned
over to me and she's like that's this is just
the first of like years of them being able to
do that together and i was like yeah it is and
yeah so i think watching him become a dad and
then also Yeah, watching this, like, really sweet
relationship between Lloyd and Stuart. Like,
Lloyd goes to the window every day when he knows
Stuart's about to come home and just, like, waits
to watch him get home. He knows the garage door
means Stuart's home, so he, like, runs over to
the stairs to wait for him to walk up. And it's,
yeah, it's been super fun. That's so fun. Yeah,
it really is, like, bittersweet because you're
like, this is, like. my dream and then you're
like this isn't gonna last forever yeah yeah
so that's so sweet okay i'll hop into my lows
one of my biggest lows is head butting and so
colt is he's a big head butter which i've talked
about before on the podcast but um it's actually
getting less and less now i think because he's
able to communicate more and like tell us what's
going on but he still has his times of like headbutting.
It's mostly when he's frustrated, but he used
to probably right around a year -ish old it kind
of started where he would headbutt out of anger,
headbutt the ground, headbutt the wall, headbutt
us, really anything. And he like, I mean, he
would get like bruises on his head. He would,
yeah, he would like not hit his head. lightly
it was like pretty hard and he still has like
little moments of headbutting um when he's really
frustrated but that is a big low for me like
I mean I've heard about kids who've like headbutted
before and I kind of always associated it with
like oh well I don't know something's off and
right or like kids with special needs yeah kids
with special needs or kids with a lot of trauma
Things like that. And, like, I don't think my
child has a lot of trauma or anything. Like,
my kid will never. Yeah. Yeah. And so, like,
I kind of have associated that with, like, well,
I'm doing something wrong. And I don't think
I am. I think that is just kind of who he is.
Yeah, that one was a big low for me as far as
motherhood in general. yeah yeah that's super
rough yeah all right my next high is one of the
same as yours is watching lloyd become a big
brother like it's so special to like see your
kid like Just, again, step into this role and
see how they're going to interact. And, yeah,
Lloyd likes to try to take care of her. You were
just saying that Colt likes to try to pick up
Cruz. I don't know if you said that when we were
recording. No, I don't think so. But Lloyd has
been, like, trying to pick up Zeta, which, I
mean, she weighs, like, half as much as he does.
So that's not going to work out. But he, like,
wants to sit with her and, you know, comfort
her when she's crying. Every night we... put
both of them down for bed even though she doesn't
sleep in her bassinet until we're in the room
um but he like helps us put her down and half
the time she's crying when she's in her bassinet
yeah and then we take him to his crib and he
always points he's like baby baby when she's
crying we'll take care of her but he's like clearly
so worried and then like On, I guess, the flip
side of that, as Zeta's been becoming more, like,
sentient and aware, she's just obsessed with
him. So, like, she wants to see where he is all
the time. When they're with, like, my parents
or my in -laws for, you know, babysitting, all
of them are like, yeah, she has to know where
he is. Yeah. Just, like, constantly looking around,
like, where's big brother? So just, like, seeing
their dynamic and seeing. that relationship develop
has been so sweet and so fun. I love that. I
think that just shows like more into Lloyd's
character of like, he's just like, he's just
a sweet guy and sweet. And yeah, that's so great.
I think that'll be really sweet to watch as he
grows up. Yeah. Yeah. Um, okay. One of my lows,
this is just, I mean, common low sleep deprivation.
I think I'm just used to it now. the sleep deprivation,
but for sure at the beginning, it was like a
shock to my body. Yeah. Yeah. Mostly because,
I mean, at the end of pregnancy, I feel like
I was up like multiple times a night to pee,
which I actually think is a gift from God. I
do think it prepares you a little bit. I really
do. But sleep deprivation and then having to
like, especially working alongside of that, like.
It is just not a great combination. Yeah. And
I am not, I'm not necessarily like the kindest
person when I'm extra tired. And so thankfully
I'm like more used to it now. And I've like.
Stuart and I were talking about this the other
day. in just like the being super tired thing.
And I was like, yeah, most of the time when I'm
up at night feeding Zeta and you're sleeping
soundly next to me, I have to like consciously
remind myself that you're not the worst person
in the world. Yes. Yeah. Like I'm not angry at
you. Yeah. You're just sleeping and you deserve
to sleep. And I chose to breastfeed and that's
where we're at. Like I have to consciously tell
myself that I love you. Yeah. And then when I'm
like, after I get some sleep, then I'm like,
oh yeah, no, like that is true. Yeah. I don't,
you know, I don't have to remind myself, but.
That's so true. I found myself in moments, hopefully,
hopefully Michael doesn't listen to this episode,
but I found myself like, oh, I'm going to like
wrestle the, the wipes a little bit louder to
like. To wake him up. To wake him up. So he can
just be like awake with me while I'm breastfeeding.
But yeah, it's super real. And trying that to
be resentful when they get more sleep. Yes. Over
like. something natural. Like you can't, I mean,
Zeta doesn't take a bottle right now. So literally
Stuart couldn't help, but yeah. Yeah. I am grateful.
Like, I feel like I'm less resentful this time
around now that we have two kids. Cause I'm like,
I get up with Cruz. a couple times a night, and
then Michael will get up with Colt when he wakes
up at, like, 6 a .m. ready for the day and let
me sleep until Cruz wakes up at, like, 7 .30.
So, like, I feel less resentful this time, but
I still have times where I'm, like, so jealous
of you right now. Again, especially when it's
3 a .m. and you're just, like, sitting there
feeding your baby, trying not to fall asleep,
and you're snoring. Yeah, yeah. Okay, my next
high. is learning about the things that Lloyd
gets excited about. Just, like, watching him,
like, learn about life and get excited. Like,
you know he loves lights. I know I've mentioned
this on here before. He's obsessed with lights.
But then now, like, he loves cars and airplanes.
And so it's, like, anytime an airplane flies
over for outside, he, like, stops what he's doing
and points and, like, lets us know. Or, you know,
if we're walking in a parking lot, he points
out every single car. Yeah, just seeing him get
excited about life. Find his interests. Find
his interests and be able to encourage those
interests too I think has been super fun. Yeah,
and I guess just seeing the person he's becoming
and letting him be that person and trying to
figure out how to encourage that. Yeah, that's
so fun. Okay, one of my lows is less date nights.
Yes. I feel like it's extra hard for us since
we don't have family around to help us. So we
do like if we want to have a date night, it's
like, no, we have to really plan, get a babysitter,
pay the babysitter, all the things. So I feel
like we found more than not that we're just not
doing the date night. Well, that's hard because
like when you're first married and when you're
married without kids, it'll be like. So spontaneous.
Yeah, but like, I don't want to cook tonight.
Do you want to go on a date? Yeah. Yeah, let's
do that. Yeah. Oh, there's a baseball game and
we can get $20 tickets. We should go. Yeah. Okay,
let's go. Yeah. Where now that's just. not really
an option you know like maybe you can make it
work or maybe you could decide to like take the
kids with or whatever but then that's not a date
night i know uh yeah where you do have to plan
and then you're like are we even moved to go
on a date tonight like i had a bad day yeah it's
like i actually just want to veg out on the couch
yeah so yeah i think Like we definitely need
to be better about the date nights, but it just
takes so much planning that like it's definitely
less than it was before. And then even just like
planning what to do where you're like. How are
we not going to spend a bajillion dollars? How
are we not going to spend a million dollars?
Leaving the house costs you a thousand dollars
anyways. And then like I don't want to just like.
Let's get dinner and drinks. You know, it's like,
I want to do something different sometimes, but
then you have to think about that. You're like,
I don't have the mental capacity to think about
that. It's the whole thing. And then by that
time you're like, oh, let's not. Yeah. Yeah.
I feel it for sure. Okay. My next high is on
the flip side of one of my lows, having Lloyd
potty trained. Like the potty training process
was really rough, but having him potty trained
is... Such a high, I'm sure. Super helpful. I
mean, there are some days when I'm like, it would
be easier if I just like, if you could just go
and then I change your diaper later because you
were asking to go every 30 seconds. But... You're
like, I want to honor that. Yeah. But overall,
like... Having him potty trained is super nice
and it makes him feel like such a big kid. But
yeah, it's just like a super nice accomplishment
to have and to only have one kid in diapers.
Yeah. Yeah, I bet. It's saving you money. So
much money. Yeah. I mean, he's still in diapers
at night. You're not going through nearly as
much. Yeah, but so he goes through, he has two
a day because one for his nap and one at night
instead of like. Yeah. However many we were going
through before. Yeah. Oh, gosh. Yeah. Okay. My
next low is ending breastfeeding with Colt. I'm
currently breastfeeding Cruz. But with Colt,
it was like I wanted to go a year. And we did
make it a year. But when I got pregnant with
Cruz, Colt was like 10 and a half months old.
My supply just like dipped like crazy. I had
the same experience. At the same time, I feel
like he, like, the taste of it must have changed
or something like that. Because he, like, was
biting me a ton. He was, like, kind of repulsed
by it. He, like, wasn't really liking it. So
we, like, brought in a bunch more formula to,
like, supplement. But it just, like, was such
an emotional. I knew it was going to be an emotional
end. But it wasn't, like, my decision to end
it. And I think that was, like, the hardest part
of it was, like. I just knew like, like it was
ending. Yeah. Yeah. And I, I wanted, we made
it like just to a year with some breastfeeding,
mostly formula at that point. But like that last
breastfeeding session was like, I was like bawling
and he was like, what's going on mom? It's weirdly
emotional for sure. Yeah. Yeah. With Lloyd, my
supply also dropped and. We got to the point
where, and it, cause he was out like 11 months
and he wouldn't take formula. So we just started
giving him whole milk, which the doctor was like,
yeah, that's fine. And then I would nurse him
first thing in the morning and then at bed at
night. And then he wasn't sleeping through the
night. So we're like, he's probably not getting
enough. Let's start whole milk at night. And
then he started sleeping through the night. And
then. there was just like a weekend we were busy
and I didn't, or somebody woke up and he was
fine. And so it was one of those things where
I didn't even have like a, this is the last day.
It was just like, it was just over. It was just
over and he was fine. But it is like weirdly
emotional where on one hand you're super grateful.
Cause you're like breastfeeding is a lot of work.
Yes. And at the same time you're like, but I
don't want it to be. I do, but I don't. It was
such a like up and down experience for me and
Colt. And. It was mostly up. It was mostly good.
And I'm so, so grateful for that. But when, yeah,
when it ended, it was like, I was grateful. It
was like a bittersweet thing. I was like, I knew
it was good. We needed to move on. He wasn't
really enjoying it anyways. It was more for me.
But also I was like, I will never get to breastfeed
this child again. And that, and I was. I just
couldn't, it was hard to come to terms with that.
Yeah. Yeah. So that was a big low. But now I
get to breastfeed Cruz and it's like, we're back
in this like blissful breastfeeding journey in
a sense. Yeah. Yeah. All right. My next one is
Lloyd is currently learning to ride a bike. Nice.
We have one of those striders that doesn't have
pedals. So it's like one of those balance bikes.
And the first few times he didn't like it at
all, but. And then we took a break, and now we're
back at it, and he just, like, all day asks,
like, bike, bike, bike, bike. So cute. And he
loves it, and it's so fun. And, again, it's just
one of those things where you're like, oh, you're
growing up. Like, you're not my baby anymore.
You're turning into, like, a real kid, which
is so bittersweet. So on one hand, you're like,
I want you to be my baby forever. But then you
do, like, you get the full sentences and get
to start hearing what they're thinking, and they're
doing these things that are so fun, like riding
a bike. That's so true. Okay. My last low, you
talked about like going back to work and yes,
that's a huge low for me. I like my job. So it's
not like it's all terrible, but actually the
biggest low for me was when my husband went back
to work during paternity leave. And especially
the first time he had two weeks of paternity
leave. And since I had a C -section with Cole,
I didn't even feel like, like my body was even
nearly close to being healed at that point. And
then I'm just expected to like, I'm going to
care for this child all day. I don't even know
how to care for this child all day. I don't know
what I'm doing. My body's not healed yet. Yeah.
And so that was like, especially that first week
of him going back to work, I was like an emotional
wreck. And then this time around, Michael got,
he could have taken 12 weeks, but he took eight
weeks off of work just due to like the busyness
of. what's happening at church he decided to
or we decided that he would only take eight eight
weeks of his time and I had an additional four
weeks and that transition was really hard too
because I'm like what the heck do I do with two
kids yeah I yeah I was like I hardly know how
to I don't know I was like we don't have a schedule
right now we don't have yeah a big routine and
I'm like how do I get Colt down for a nap when
when I have also have crews like how do I do
this whole routine and we're getting the hang
of it for sure and but when Michael went back
to work it was like it almost was like a harder
shift for me than when I went back to work yeah
I could I could feel that yeah yeah so that's
my last low I do have one more high so we can
end on a high note. Which was just this last
Christmas watching Lloyd. Like, his first Christmas,
he was, like, four or five months old, so he
didn't really, like, know or care what was going
on. But this last Christmas, he just got so excited,
like, being around family. And he got to have,
like, our sugary breakfast that we have for Christmas.
get excited about opening gifts and all of that,
which, so just like seeing his excitement for
something like, both Stuart and I love Christmas.
We love holidays in general, but Christmas in
particular where like all of our family gets
together and Stuart loves giving gifts. So, you
know, we get really excited to like get stuff
for people and see Lloyd get to like be, actually
be a part of that this year instead of kind of
just like existing in it like he did last year.
It was just super fun. That's so cute. super
exciting for again the future of like oh this
year he's gonna be even more excited i know uh
knows what's going on and like he understands
what it means to get new toys yes yeah this as
like a side tangent uh this week so lloyd's birthday
was yesterday and A couple days ago, we were
like having a rough morning. So I was like, maybe
I'll just give him like one of his birthday toys
so that he has like something to occupy him with.
And so I was like, Lloyd, do you want a new toy?
And he just like lit up. He's like, which is
his word for yes right now. And we just got him
some like letter magnets. So that's what I gave
him. And he was so excited and he still loves
them. And yeah, so I'm like seeing that then
makes me excited for like. Yes. Just what he
gets, he's getting excited for Christmas. Like
you get to see all these new things through like
their lens of like, you get to watch them experience
the world. Yes. For the first time. Yeah. And
that's so fun. It is so fun. It is. Well, there's
our highs and lows of the last two years. I feel
like we have so many more that we could share,
but we won't take up more of your day. Well,
honestly, when we were prepping for this, I just
like, my mind went completely blank. I was like,
what has happened in the last few years? I have
no idea. That's so true. Not a single good or
bad thing. I don't know. Yeah. Yep. And then
I know as soon as we like stop recording, I'll
think of every single thing. A bajillion more.
Yep. Yep. Okay, well, should we hop into our
wins? I guess these could be, like, some of our
highs, too. Yeah. Well, I can share mine. Okay,
perfect. So Zeta is rolling over, which is just,
like, really fun. But Lloyd has picked up that
when she rolls over, we're like, yay, Zeta. And
so he'll stop what he's doing if she rolls over
and say, yay, baby, and he starts clapping. It's
so cute. And he calls her baby right now, which
is also just. Very cute. Baby sister. I love
it. Yeah. He claps and cheers for her, which
is so fun. That's so cute. Um, my win is so not
a win. I was like having a mental breakdown at
one point. Yes. And, um, I don't know. I don't
think I've shared this before, but so Cole now,
like if I'm like having a hard time or anything,
he'll go, mommy, you okay? Okay. And I'm like,
yeah, buddy, I'm okay. And it, it was the other
day I was like, I don't know what I was like
having a moment about, but he like took his passy
out of his mouth and like tried to shove it into
my mouth. And then he like patted my back and
went, shh, shh, shh, shh. And I was like, thanks,
buddy. That's so nice. Like, mommy's okay. He's
like, okay. I'm like. Yeah, I'm okay, buddy.
Thank you. That's so sweet, though. Yeah, I know.
I was like, you're so empathetic, buddy. And
also, he just, like, picks up on, like, so much.
And I'm like, okay, we have to be careful with
what we say and what we do because he just picks
up on, like, on everything. Yeah, we started
to do that, too. We're like, we're both pretty
sarcastic. Yeah. So we're like, oh, there's some
things we probably should stop being sarcastic
about. Yeah, right. Because his brain doesn't
comprehend the joke part yet, and he just, like.
He doesn't hear the sarcasm. He hears the words,
not the joke. Well, we would love to hear your
guys' win of the week as well as your highs and
lows of motherhood as a whole. So we'll put a
question box on Instagram this week and would
love to hear your highs and lows of motherhood
so far, wherever you're at, whether you're a
new mom or you're a seasoned mom or an empty
nester. We'd love to hear your highs and lows.
But thanks for tuning in today. And we'd love
for you to rate, review, and subscribe. Follow
us on Instagram at nomanualpodcast. And we will
see you guys next week. See you next week.