WEBVTT 00:00:13.070 --> 00:00:15.429 Hi everyone, welcome back to No Manual MomCast, 00:00:15.630 --> 00:00:17.649 where this is a place for moms to feel connected, 00:00:17.969 --> 00:00:20.850 feel like they're not alone, and we're just talking 00:00:20.850 --> 00:00:24.010 about the reality of motherhood. Today we have 00:00:24.010 --> 00:00:26.469 a really, really special guest, super close to 00:00:26.469 --> 00:00:29.390 my heart, Michael's grandma, my husband Michael, 00:00:29.629 --> 00:00:33.030 Michael's grandma who raised him, Sharon Bauer. 00:00:33.429 --> 00:00:36.969 And Sharon, would you like to introduce yourself 00:00:36.969 --> 00:00:46.020 just a little bit? I'm in my mid -70s now. I 00:00:46.020 --> 00:00:49.799 have four children, nine grandchildren, and two 00:00:49.799 --> 00:00:52.320 great -grandchildren. That's great. Awesome. 00:00:52.420 --> 00:00:55.340 Well, we always like to start all of our episodes 00:00:55.340 --> 00:00:57.939 with our mom moments of the week. And really, 00:00:58.020 --> 00:01:00.579 this is something just, it could be super random, 00:01:00.659 --> 00:01:03.200 it could be good, it could be bad. But Erica, 00:01:03.320 --> 00:01:07.219 do you want to start with yours? Sure. So this 00:01:07.219 --> 00:01:10.480 week... We like got an email from our HOA that 00:01:10.480 --> 00:01:11.819 there was going to be a concert in the park. 00:01:11.879 --> 00:01:14.000 And we're like, oh, that sounds really fun. We 00:01:14.000 --> 00:01:17.400 should go. So we like get everyone packed up 00:01:17.400 --> 00:01:18.959 in the stroller, everything like that. We walked 00:01:18.959 --> 00:01:21.400 to the park that we thought it was at. Definitely 00:01:21.400 --> 00:01:23.519 was not at that correct park. So like, cool, 00:01:23.579 --> 00:01:25.500 cool, cool. We like pull up the email, figure 00:01:25.500 --> 00:01:28.140 out our mistake. Okay. The park that it is at 00:01:28.140 --> 00:01:30.900 is like a 30 minute walk, but it's like a five 00:01:30.900 --> 00:01:32.359 minute drive. So we're like, okay, we're just 00:01:32.359 --> 00:01:35.040 going to walk home, get in the car. Everything 00:01:35.040 --> 00:01:38.939 is going to be fine. Then. we're also potty training 00:01:38.939 --> 00:01:40.359 Lloyd's. We're like, this is probably a good 00:01:40.359 --> 00:01:42.200 place. Like if anything happens, like it's a 00:01:42.200 --> 00:01:45.120 park, it's not a big deal. Um, but in the five 00:01:45.120 --> 00:01:48.579 minute drive between our house and this other 00:01:48.579 --> 00:01:51.120 park, he pees in his car seat. So like the second 00:01:51.120 --> 00:01:53.780 that we get out of the car, we're like in the 00:01:53.780 --> 00:01:55.799 parking lot, pulling down his pants, trying to 00:01:55.799 --> 00:01:59.939 get fresh pants. And then we also realized that 00:01:59.939 --> 00:02:02.439 going to a concert in the park with just the 00:02:02.439 --> 00:02:05.700 two of us and two small children. terrible idea 00:02:05.700 --> 00:02:08.280 uh because lloyd of course is just like trying 00:02:08.280 --> 00:02:11.419 to run away and trying to go on stage to play 00:02:11.419 --> 00:02:14.580 the instruments as he does and you know we're 00:02:14.580 --> 00:02:16.159 trying to take care of zeta we're trying to get 00:02:16.159 --> 00:02:19.939 food all the things so uh next time we go i think 00:02:19.939 --> 00:02:22.699 we'll have grandparents with us or you know somebody 00:02:22.699 --> 00:02:25.180 else at least a third person a third adult to 00:02:25.180 --> 00:02:27.639 help right yeah you're like i need one more set 00:02:27.639 --> 00:02:30.840 of hands yeah yeah it sounded like a really good 00:02:30.840 --> 00:02:33.819 idea when we were like let's go and It did not 00:02:33.819 --> 00:02:35.620 turn out the way we expected. Yeah. But it was 00:02:35.620 --> 00:02:38.300 fun. It just, you know. You know, it's all just 00:02:38.300 --> 00:02:41.240 memories for you guys. Maybe not great memories. 00:02:41.280 --> 00:02:43.599 Lloyd had fun. So that's, you know. Yeah. We 00:02:43.599 --> 00:02:46.020 can't be that upset. Probably wore him out for 00:02:46.020 --> 00:02:50.819 the day. Exactly. Yeah. Nice. Well, my mom moment 00:02:50.819 --> 00:02:54.099 actually was not this week. It was probably like 00:02:54.099 --> 00:02:58.770 two weeks ago. So Colt loves. eggs in general 00:02:58.770 --> 00:03:02.210 so scrambled eggs he loves cooking eggs in his 00:03:02.210 --> 00:03:05.610 play kitchen all the things egg related egg bites 00:03:05.610 --> 00:03:08.849 from Starbucks he talks about those often so 00:03:08.849 --> 00:03:11.129 every morning when we make scrambled eggs we 00:03:11.129 --> 00:03:14.550 let him pick out the eggs that he wants us to 00:03:14.550 --> 00:03:17.509 cook for him so he picks out two eggs out of 00:03:17.509 --> 00:03:19.969 the container and then he carries them over to 00:03:19.969 --> 00:03:23.449 the stove for us and so I let him do that this 00:03:23.449 --> 00:03:26.770 was This was after a really long night, too, 00:03:26.849 --> 00:03:29.229 where it was just like I was up with Cruz all 00:03:29.229 --> 00:03:32.830 night long, it felt like. And I was already just 00:03:32.830 --> 00:03:35.569 so tired. And so I'm like, OK, cool. Like, yeah, 00:03:35.610 --> 00:03:39.189 grab your eggs, bring them over. And then there 00:03:39.189 --> 00:03:41.750 was like something that scared him. I don't know 00:03:41.750 --> 00:03:44.810 what it was, a loud noise or what. And he just 00:03:44.810 --> 00:03:47.969 like chucked the eggs onto the ground because 00:03:47.969 --> 00:03:51.449 he was so scared. And then that like. It frightened 00:03:51.449 --> 00:03:53.789 him because the eggs broke open and he didn't 00:03:53.789 --> 00:03:55.750 know what happened. So then he's like crying 00:03:55.750 --> 00:03:58.490 a ton. And then I'm like, it's okay, buddy. It's 00:03:58.490 --> 00:04:01.270 okay. But then I'm like, I got to clean up eggs 00:04:01.270 --> 00:04:03.330 off the ground, which is like not a really fun 00:04:03.330 --> 00:04:06.530 thing to clean. Like it's not just liquid. It's 00:04:06.530 --> 00:04:10.509 like sticky and gross. And Colt wants to help 00:04:10.509 --> 00:04:12.830 me clean them up. And I'm like, nobody let mommy 00:04:12.830 --> 00:04:16.029 clean these raw eggs up. But he just wanted, 00:04:16.149 --> 00:04:18.110 I mean, he's at that stage where he wants to 00:04:18.110 --> 00:04:20.600 help with everything, which I love. But there's 00:04:20.600 --> 00:04:22.360 some things where it's just like it's just going 00:04:22.360 --> 00:04:25.459 to be easier if I just do this right now and 00:04:25.459 --> 00:04:28.540 you just watch or you go do something else. But 00:04:28.540 --> 00:04:32.000 it just I mean, overall, it was a funny moment. 00:04:32.079 --> 00:04:35.899 But like in in the time. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like 00:04:35.899 --> 00:04:39.180 stressed and tired and then these broken eggs 00:04:39.180 --> 00:04:41.860 on the ground. But overall, it was funny because 00:04:41.860 --> 00:04:45.060 it just like I wish. I had a video of it because 00:04:45.060 --> 00:04:47.420 something startled him and all he knew to do 00:04:47.420 --> 00:04:49.680 was just like chuck the eggs. Love it. Yeah. 00:04:49.939 --> 00:04:52.959 So that's my mom moment. Sharon, can you think 00:04:52.959 --> 00:04:55.620 of anything that you want to share? Yeah, I would 00:04:55.620 --> 00:04:58.319 have so many as a mom, but I'm thinking of being 00:04:58.319 --> 00:05:02.360 a great grandma. Yeah. And today, can I cry? 00:05:02.620 --> 00:05:06.399 Of course you can. Today, Colt took his pacifier 00:05:06.399 --> 00:05:09.089 out of his mouth. crawled up on my lap and he 00:05:09.089 --> 00:05:12.610 kissed me on the cheek and that just was so sweet 00:05:12.610 --> 00:05:15.310 i i mean i haven't seen him since february yeah 00:05:15.310 --> 00:05:18.730 so we don't we talk often yeah we see each other 00:05:18.730 --> 00:05:22.870 on uh on our phones but To have him just crawl 00:05:22.870 --> 00:05:25.329 up on my lap and give me a kiss. Because many 00:05:25.329 --> 00:05:27.329 times he just tells me to move out of the way 00:05:27.329 --> 00:05:30.009 and get out of there. It's also a stage he's 00:05:30.009 --> 00:05:33.290 in right now. Tells everyone to move. Lloyd likes 00:05:33.290 --> 00:05:36.110 to just push me sometimes. I don't know where 00:05:36.110 --> 00:05:39.490 you want me to go. And where did you learn that? 00:05:39.790 --> 00:05:44.709 Oh, that's so sweet. That makes me so happy. 00:05:45.129 --> 00:05:47.129 Yeah, made me happy. He's such a sweet boy. I 00:05:47.129 --> 00:05:50.959 love that. I'm so happy that you're joining us 00:05:50.959 --> 00:05:53.240 today because you have just such a different 00:05:53.240 --> 00:05:56.920 perspective of motherhood. And that's because 00:05:56.920 --> 00:06:00.240 you not only raised your own kids, but you also 00:06:00.240 --> 00:06:02.860 raised your grandkids, which one of them is my 00:06:02.860 --> 00:06:07.000 husband. So that is just super special and dear 00:06:07.000 --> 00:06:09.060 to my heart. And I think you have a lot of wisdom 00:06:09.060 --> 00:06:12.730 to share. So really, first of all, would you 00:06:12.730 --> 00:06:15.529 want to share kind of a little bit of your backstory 00:06:15.529 --> 00:06:19.930 and how you became a mom and then how you became 00:06:19.930 --> 00:06:23.430 the grandma who raised her grandkids? Yes. Well, 00:06:23.569 --> 00:06:26.040 I became a mom. I'm not even going to give you 00:06:26.040 --> 00:06:27.800 the date because my daughter would probably be 00:06:27.800 --> 00:06:32.399 upset with me. But a few years ago, and I had 00:06:32.399 --> 00:06:36.339 two daughters. My first husband left me when 00:06:36.339 --> 00:06:40.519 my second daughter was four months old. So that 00:06:40.519 --> 00:06:45.079 was a really tough time. And then I met my second 00:06:45.079 --> 00:06:48.019 husband, which I certainly never thought I would 00:06:48.019 --> 00:06:52.790 remarry. And he had two boys. And blending our 00:06:52.790 --> 00:06:55.870 families was a lot of work. It was a lot of work. 00:06:56.129 --> 00:06:59.189 Because little girls sit and they play and they 00:06:59.189 --> 00:07:01.709 clean up their toys. And little boys don't do 00:07:01.709 --> 00:07:05.889 that. And it's okay. And I finally, my pastor 00:07:05.889 --> 00:07:08.990 actually said to me one day, do you want a happy 00:07:08.990 --> 00:07:11.750 family or a clean house? And I thought I want 00:07:11.750 --> 00:07:14.470 a happy family. Because I said to him, I'm struggling 00:07:14.470 --> 00:07:18.470 with this. It's been really difficult. At that 00:07:18.470 --> 00:07:23.519 time, they were 10. six and two and a half and 00:07:23.519 --> 00:07:29.040 so uh it was a lot of work getting them all going 00:07:29.040 --> 00:07:32.420 together and our oldest child was deaf my my 00:07:32.420 --> 00:07:36.699 stepson was deaf so I had been taking sign classes 00:07:36.699 --> 00:07:41.639 and I was really blessed that this lady who was 00:07:41.639 --> 00:07:45.939 deaf and taught sign language She had her daughter 00:07:45.939 --> 00:07:49.060 -in -law call me one day and say, why aren't 00:07:49.060 --> 00:07:50.779 you in the class? You need to be in the class. 00:07:50.939 --> 00:07:53.459 You've got this new deaf child. And I said, well, 00:07:53.500 --> 00:07:55.379 I also have this three -year -old that has horrible 00:07:55.379 --> 00:07:59.060 asthma, and she's sick a lot. And then she would 00:07:59.060 --> 00:08:03.100 get ear infections and strep. And she said, then 00:08:03.100 --> 00:08:06.220 come to my house every Tuesday morning. And so 00:08:06.220 --> 00:08:09.139 we did. We dropped the kids at school, and I 00:08:09.139 --> 00:08:12.459 took Sarah, and we went to Bunny White's house. 00:08:13.259 --> 00:08:16.000 And she taught me sign language, and she let 00:08:16.000 --> 00:08:19.199 Sarah play. And it was beautiful, just beautiful. 00:08:19.480 --> 00:08:21.800 So I feel like it was a gift from God that I 00:08:21.800 --> 00:08:25.399 learned to sign so quickly because I hadn't signed 00:08:25.399 --> 00:08:30.110 before that. I ended up being an interpreter 00:08:30.110 --> 00:08:33.409 at an elementary school for about, I think, about 00:08:33.409 --> 00:08:37.009 15 years. And then at the same time was teaching 00:08:37.009 --> 00:08:39.870 Sunday school and working in children's ministries 00:08:39.870 --> 00:08:43.809 and running the preschool department. And then 00:08:43.809 --> 00:08:46.549 finally got a job. I didn't think you should 00:08:46.549 --> 00:08:48.909 get paid to work in a church, but it was kind 00:08:48.909 --> 00:08:52.129 of nice. And so then my background for the last... 00:08:52.440 --> 00:08:55.600 probably 25 years has been in children's ministry. 00:08:55.840 --> 00:09:00.039 And I just love it. I think I'm built to be a 00:09:00.039 --> 00:09:03.240 preschool parent. I know that's my job. It's 00:09:03.240 --> 00:09:06.139 my calling. But Dick and I have been married. 00:09:07.279 --> 00:09:10.379 I think 46 years, we figured out. Yeah. Wow. 00:09:10.539 --> 00:09:13.440 A long time. But then along the way, our oldest 00:09:13.440 --> 00:09:16.100 son, the one that was deaf, he and his girlfriend 00:09:16.100 --> 00:09:18.259 got pregnant, and they had this adorable little 00:09:18.259 --> 00:09:21.379 boy named Michael. And we committed ourselves 00:09:21.379 --> 00:09:25.659 that day when he was born that we would, excuse 00:09:25.659 --> 00:09:30.419 me, that we would always be there for him, no 00:09:30.419 --> 00:09:34.159 matter what. And we signed his parents up for 00:09:34.159 --> 00:09:36.279 parenting classes, and, of course, they wouldn't 00:09:36.279 --> 00:09:40.620 go. And it wasn't that they were abusive. They 00:09:40.620 --> 00:09:44.419 were just very neglectful of him. And it just 00:09:44.419 --> 00:09:48.620 continued and continued. And Dick and I even 00:09:48.620 --> 00:09:51.860 went up the year before he started kindergarten. 00:09:52.220 --> 00:09:55.899 We went to his house, and we would read him stories, 00:09:56.200 --> 00:10:00.620 get him to bed, because we knew they didn't put 00:10:00.620 --> 00:10:03.929 him to bed. He'd fall asleep wherever he was, 00:10:04.049 --> 00:10:07.789 even no matter what time it was. But we said, 00:10:07.809 --> 00:10:11.370 we want to help you, you know, train your child 00:10:11.370 --> 00:10:14.370 to go to bed. And so we worked on that for a 00:10:14.370 --> 00:10:17.509 while. And then the parents separated. And at 00:10:17.509 --> 00:10:19.610 that moment we knew we had to step in and do 00:10:19.610 --> 00:10:25.470 something. We had, gosh, it's hard thinking back 00:10:25.470 --> 00:10:30.620 on all this. We had two attorneys. that people 00:10:30.620 --> 00:10:33.659 had told us about. One was a man who was a Christian, 00:10:33.840 --> 00:10:37.980 who was very gentle, very kind, and very fair. 00:10:38.279 --> 00:10:41.100 The other one was a lady who the people said 00:10:41.100 --> 00:10:43.519 is a Christian, but she's a very hard nose, she 00:10:43.519 --> 00:10:46.899 works very hard, she will win this for you. And 00:10:46.899 --> 00:10:49.159 we thought, oh gosh, okay, what do we need to 00:10:49.159 --> 00:10:51.419 do? And then we realized we needed the fair man. 00:10:51.740 --> 00:10:55.419 We needed to be fair in this. So we went to meet 00:10:55.419 --> 00:10:58.779 with this attorney. And we wanted to make sure 00:10:58.779 --> 00:11:01.559 our son got 50 % of the time because then we 00:11:01.559 --> 00:11:04.899 knew we would get 50 % of the time. So at that 00:11:04.899 --> 00:11:09.059 meeting, he says to us, do you want to apply 00:11:09.059 --> 00:11:12.080 to get the kids? And we said, can we do that? 00:11:12.279 --> 00:11:16.059 And he goes, of course you can. And I said, yes, 00:11:16.120 --> 00:11:19.100 we would love to. I don't think we have a chance. 00:11:19.279 --> 00:11:21.360 Well, within six weeks, we had custody of both 00:11:21.360 --> 00:11:24.220 of our grandchildren, which he said is a gift 00:11:24.220 --> 00:11:27.240 from God because this does not happen. It's always 00:11:27.240 --> 00:11:30.399 such a long process. I know, I know. Even the 00:11:30.399 --> 00:11:33.179 judge said to us, you have an uphill battle to 00:11:33.179 --> 00:11:37.340 find here. And we were shocked. But it was almost 00:11:37.340 --> 00:11:42.500 like they said, we'll let you keep them, but 00:11:42.500 --> 00:11:44.120 we want to take them back when we want them. 00:11:44.840 --> 00:11:47.799 So we had like joint custody. We had total physical 00:11:47.799 --> 00:11:51.580 custody and they had joint legal custody. But 00:11:51.580 --> 00:11:54.220 written in there was we didn't have to ask permission 00:11:54.220 --> 00:11:58.000 for anything at school, any doctors, anything, 00:11:58.200 --> 00:12:02.220 which worked out to be to our advantage. We really 00:12:02.220 --> 00:12:05.059 thought the mom would get her act together and 00:12:05.059 --> 00:12:07.600 come and take care of the kids, but she didn't. 00:12:07.759 --> 00:12:12.360 Now, Michael and Michaela are five years apart. 00:12:15.389 --> 00:12:18.309 Michaela was only one when we got her. Michael 00:12:18.309 --> 00:12:22.409 was six. And before that, Michael was at our 00:12:22.409 --> 00:12:25.149 house most of the time. His parents would drop 00:12:25.149 --> 00:12:28.169 him off to go grocery shopping, and we would 00:12:28.169 --> 00:12:31.210 see him maybe three days later. Wow. Which, you 00:12:31.210 --> 00:12:34.389 know, we loved it. We loved having him. He was 00:12:34.389 --> 00:12:37.850 so fun. But at the same time, we wanted them 00:12:37.850 --> 00:12:41.590 to be good parents. We wanted to help them and 00:12:41.590 --> 00:12:44.940 role model for them and teach them. It just was 00:12:44.940 --> 00:12:50.279 not working. So we got full custody of them, 00:12:50.360 --> 00:12:55.460 and we loved it. It was just unreal. It was a 00:12:55.460 --> 00:12:59.419 lot of work because we were older, but we just 00:12:59.419 --> 00:13:02.539 had so much help. Both of his aunts, our daughters, 00:13:02.759 --> 00:13:06.580 were so involved in their lives, and so many 00:13:06.580 --> 00:13:08.980 friends who were so involved in their lives that 00:13:08.980 --> 00:13:14.440 it really helped us out. obviously all of this 00:13:14.440 --> 00:13:17.919 was not in the plan for you guys raising your 00:13:17.919 --> 00:13:22.620 grandkids. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Um, what do you 00:13:22.620 --> 00:13:26.379 feel like was the hardest part at the beginning 00:13:26.379 --> 00:13:29.799 of the process of, of bringing in Michael and 00:13:29.799 --> 00:13:32.240 Michaela? What do you feel like was the hardest 00:13:32.240 --> 00:13:34.779 part, whether it was like maybe putting strain 00:13:34.779 --> 00:13:38.340 on your marriage or. I didn't, I didn't see that 00:13:38.340 --> 00:13:41.700 because we both had agreed that this was. It 00:13:41.700 --> 00:13:44.200 was our job. That's what we're supposed to do. 00:13:46.120 --> 00:13:50.879 I don't know what would be the hardest part. 00:13:52.759 --> 00:13:55.940 I mean, some of our friends our age were doing 00:13:55.940 --> 00:13:59.000 different things, but we couldn't go, which was 00:13:59.000 --> 00:14:02.330 fine because we found ourselves. Having best 00:14:02.330 --> 00:14:04.730 friends and doing things with families who had 00:14:04.730 --> 00:14:07.190 kids the same age as Michael and Michaela. Yeah. 00:14:07.350 --> 00:14:09.169 Which was interesting. I mean, our kids, our 00:14:09.169 --> 00:14:11.809 friends were 20 years younger than us. 15 years 00:14:11.809 --> 00:14:15.289 younger than us. And, I mean, we had a birthday 00:14:15.289 --> 00:14:18.070 party for Michaela when she was four. And we 00:14:18.070 --> 00:14:20.309 had all these families. Moms come with their 00:14:20.309 --> 00:14:22.850 little ones. And we had lunch. We had a bounce 00:14:22.850 --> 00:14:25.600 house. And then they all stayed for dinner and 00:14:25.600 --> 00:14:27.500 called their husbands to come over after work. 00:14:27.600 --> 00:14:31.679 So that's just the kind of house we had. We had 00:14:31.679 --> 00:14:37.740 people in and out. It was just amazing. We just 00:14:37.740 --> 00:14:39.799 feel like we've been blessed by these little 00:14:39.799 --> 00:14:43.659 ones who are all grown up. Yeah, I think one 00:14:43.659 --> 00:14:47.340 thing, like when I started dating Michael, one 00:14:47.340 --> 00:14:49.919 thing that I always noticed about your house 00:14:49.919 --> 00:14:52.299 was that it was always an open -door policy. 00:14:53.320 --> 00:14:55.879 And that is something that Michael and I want 00:14:55.879 --> 00:14:59.779 to model our family after is because it just, 00:14:59.879 --> 00:15:02.740 it was always so welcoming and you could come 00:15:02.740 --> 00:15:05.320 and stay as long as you wanted. And there was 00:15:05.320 --> 00:15:08.779 never a time that we felt like, like that I felt 00:15:08.779 --> 00:15:11.580 like I had to leave because you guys always just 00:15:11.580 --> 00:15:16.039 welcomed me in. And I think that is representative 00:15:16.039 --> 00:15:19.120 of who you are, of who you are as a mom, of who 00:15:19.120 --> 00:15:22.399 you are as a grandma. And I'm just so grateful. 00:15:23.200 --> 00:15:28.279 for the fact that Michael, I mean, I'm so grateful 00:15:28.279 --> 00:15:30.879 for the story that Michael has had because he 00:15:30.879 --> 00:15:35.120 was raised by you rather than his parents. And 00:15:35.120 --> 00:15:39.340 I can't even imagine, and I don't want to imagine 00:15:39.340 --> 00:15:42.340 the man maybe Michael would be today if he lived 00:15:42.340 --> 00:15:47.179 with his parents. And I don't think I would probably 00:15:47.179 --> 00:15:51.000 know him or be married to him. It was difficult. 00:15:52.029 --> 00:15:54.210 He was supposed to have a visit with his mom 00:15:54.210 --> 00:15:57.110 because I asked the court if I could set up the 00:15:57.110 --> 00:15:59.909 visits for them so it would be convenient for 00:15:59.909 --> 00:16:02.909 the kids if they had things to do. And so for 00:16:02.909 --> 00:16:06.309 the first year, they could come. Well, one came 00:16:06.309 --> 00:16:09.129 on Wednesday, one came on Thursday, and then 00:16:09.129 --> 00:16:12.149 they had every other Saturday. And half the time 00:16:12.149 --> 00:16:15.470 they wouldn't show. And his mom would call at 00:16:15.470 --> 00:16:17.570 the last minute because we had a relay telephone. 00:16:19.100 --> 00:16:21.500 She would call and say, oh, I'm getting my hair 00:16:21.500 --> 00:16:24.740 done. I can't come today. Or I'm downtown with 00:16:24.740 --> 00:16:27.059 my friends. I can't come today. And sometimes 00:16:27.059 --> 00:16:30.960 she wouldn't call. And so Michael would just 00:16:30.960 --> 00:16:34.600 be so sad. What do you feel like you would say 00:16:34.600 --> 00:16:39.759 in those times? I would say to him, sometimes 00:16:39.759 --> 00:16:43.039 mommies make difficult decisions that make you 00:16:43.039 --> 00:16:46.970 feel sad. But you know we love you. And then 00:16:46.970 --> 00:16:49.289 it got where she would come and he would go in 00:16:49.289 --> 00:16:52.490 his bedroom because his tummy hurt. And then 00:16:52.490 --> 00:16:54.669 we decided at one point where our home needed 00:16:54.669 --> 00:16:57.889 to be a safe home. So we would only meet her 00:16:57.889 --> 00:17:00.789 at McDonald's or at the park. And so that's what 00:17:00.789 --> 00:17:04.670 we would do. We would go to the park. Even we 00:17:04.670 --> 00:17:08.769 had her parents up. We had her aunts and uncles. 00:17:09.089 --> 00:17:10.829 They would come up. We'd go to the park. We'd 00:17:10.829 --> 00:17:14.130 barbecue or bring sandwiches or stuff. And Michael 00:17:14.130 --> 00:17:17.849 usually did not feel good. And so it just got 00:17:17.849 --> 00:17:20.470 where we just slowly, if they didn't call, we 00:17:20.470 --> 00:17:22.309 didn't call them to say, do you want to come 00:17:22.309 --> 00:17:24.730 this week? Yeah. And it got further and further 00:17:24.730 --> 00:17:28.029 apart. And then at one point, I think the last 00:17:28.029 --> 00:17:29.289 time we went to court, because we went three 00:17:29.289 --> 00:17:32.390 times. The last time, Michael was sixth grade, 00:17:32.490 --> 00:17:35.009 Michaela was kindergarten, so she was over five, 00:17:35.190 --> 00:17:39.369 so she went to mediation also. And she said, 00:17:39.450 --> 00:17:41.710 I said, what did the lady ask you? And she said, 00:17:41.809 --> 00:17:44.250 she asked me if I could sign, because that was 00:17:44.250 --> 00:17:46.890 one complaint from the mom that we didn't teach 00:17:46.890 --> 00:17:51.750 the children to sign. But we did. And she said, 00:17:51.789 --> 00:17:55.339 I signed to her, do you want to play? And she 00:17:55.339 --> 00:17:57.960 said, oh, that's really good. And she goes, Grandma, 00:17:58.099 --> 00:18:02.660 she didn't know what I said. So that was really 00:18:02.660 --> 00:18:08.059 cute. But, you know, it was just by God's grace 00:18:08.059 --> 00:18:10.640 that we hung on to them. That probably was my 00:18:10.640 --> 00:18:13.180 biggest fear in the beginning because, oh, my 00:18:13.180 --> 00:18:15.279 gosh, she called me one time because she was 00:18:15.279 --> 00:18:17.619 mad I hadn't given Michael a haircut or I hadn't 00:18:17.619 --> 00:18:19.980 clipped his fingernails. And I called the attorney 00:18:19.980 --> 00:18:22.180 and I said, okay, this was a complaint. What 00:18:22.180 --> 00:18:24.940 do I need to do? Need to do. And then that call 00:18:24.940 --> 00:18:27.819 would cost me $250. Oh, my gosh. And so Dick 00:18:27.819 --> 00:18:31.299 says, you've got to stop this. This is too much. 00:18:31.319 --> 00:18:33.319 Just afraid that the court was going to. Yeah, 00:18:33.380 --> 00:18:36.420 that would be something I would lose the kids 00:18:36.420 --> 00:18:41.059 over. Wow. So. Yeah. But, yeah, I can't even 00:18:41.059 --> 00:18:44.579 imagine life without them in our home. Yeah. 00:18:44.779 --> 00:18:48.920 And half the time, I would have one of my children 00:18:48.920 --> 00:18:53.210 living with us, like Allison. Sarah was there. 00:18:53.450 --> 00:18:55.630 And then Sarah and Allison got an apartment. 00:18:56.109 --> 00:18:59.329 And then Sarah gets married. I think Mikayla 00:18:59.329 --> 00:19:03.390 was two. And then when they were graduating from 00:19:03.390 --> 00:19:07.490 college, Allison had worked full time and then 00:19:07.490 --> 00:19:09.809 gone to college. And Sarah had gone straight 00:19:09.809 --> 00:19:12.269 through college. And Allison realized that Sarah 00:19:12.269 --> 00:19:15.450 was going to graduate before her. So she asked 00:19:15.450 --> 00:19:18.470 if she could move back home, sell her car, and 00:19:18.470 --> 00:19:22.470 move back home. finished school. So they graduate 00:19:22.470 --> 00:19:25.230 the same time. So I said, sure. So then, you 00:19:25.230 --> 00:19:27.910 know, she was always there. She was best friends 00:19:27.910 --> 00:19:30.009 with those kids. And as you know, she has such 00:19:30.009 --> 00:19:32.910 a great relationship with Michael. Yeah. Yeah. 00:19:33.069 --> 00:19:37.109 It really is such a beautiful, I mean, just all 00:19:37.109 --> 00:19:40.009 around. You can see God in every piece of it. 00:19:40.130 --> 00:19:43.109 I don't know how people do it without God. I 00:19:43.109 --> 00:19:46.089 don't know. No. At all. Yeah. We've talked about 00:19:46.089 --> 00:19:49.289 that all the time. Yes. Yeah. So you mentioned, 00:19:50.009 --> 00:19:53.170 You have your stepson, and that's Michael's dad. 00:19:53.349 --> 00:19:57.829 How do you wrestle with this, I love my son, 00:19:58.029 --> 00:20:00.750 and I want him to make good decisions, but he's 00:20:00.750 --> 00:20:03.789 not making good decisions, and I love my grandson 00:20:03.789 --> 00:20:06.890 as well. How do you wrestle with that balance? 00:20:07.089 --> 00:20:11.990 We talked to him many times. When the kids would 00:20:11.990 --> 00:20:13.970 go to school, we'd go take him out for lunch 00:20:13.970 --> 00:20:17.940 or something and just try to... pour into him 00:20:17.940 --> 00:20:20.779 you know remember when you did this remember 00:20:20.779 --> 00:20:24.640 when and just good things in his life and he 00:20:24.640 --> 00:20:27.400 was an auto body painter we had helped him get 00:20:27.400 --> 00:20:31.319 through college in this trade school and he did 00:20:31.319 --> 00:20:34.079 a beautiful job I mean the the bosses would tell 00:20:34.079 --> 00:20:39.119 us how great he was at painting cars and so we 00:20:39.119 --> 00:20:42.500 would talk about that and he just didn't care 00:20:43.349 --> 00:20:48.569 It was so sad, so, so sad. And he's an adopted 00:20:48.569 --> 00:20:53.130 child. Both of our boys were adopted. And he 00:20:53.130 --> 00:20:57.970 found his biological sister at one point, and 00:20:57.970 --> 00:21:00.309 she lived in Los Angeles, and we knew he was 00:21:00.309 --> 00:21:07.230 from the L .A. area. And he met her and got to 00:21:07.230 --> 00:21:10.509 know her a little bit, but there wasn't any bonding 00:21:10.509 --> 00:21:15.819 there at all either. He ended up dying at 44. 00:21:16.220 --> 00:21:20.940 I believe he was 44. He'd gotten into drugs and 00:21:20.940 --> 00:21:24.579 alcohol. He and his wife were divorced. He had 00:21:24.579 --> 00:21:27.779 remarried, ended up divorcing that person, but 00:21:27.779 --> 00:21:32.559 had two more children. And we see those two daughters, 00:21:32.660 --> 00:21:35.660 two little granddaughters, occasionally, not 00:21:35.660 --> 00:21:37.500 often, but we see them occasionally. We try to 00:21:37.500 --> 00:21:42.269 keep in contact with them. When he died, the 00:21:42.269 --> 00:21:44.849 doctor told us we needed to have his medical 00:21:44.849 --> 00:21:48.329 files opened, his adoption papers, because he 00:21:48.329 --> 00:21:53.089 had arteriosclerosis. And so we did and found 00:21:53.089 --> 00:21:55.410 out that all the kids needed to be tested. We 00:21:55.410 --> 00:21:58.869 had that done, genetic testing. And the daughter 00:21:58.869 --> 00:22:02.829 we were raising, the granddaughter, has it. So 00:22:02.829 --> 00:22:05.710 she's been on a statin medicine since she was 00:22:05.710 --> 00:22:09.109 17. So we tell her she needs to be careful what 00:22:09.109 --> 00:22:12.910 she eats. She's slender, so she's cute as can 00:22:12.910 --> 00:22:16.569 be. But, yeah, it was very hard. At one point, 00:22:16.650 --> 00:22:20.450 I said to him, we already had the two kids we 00:22:20.450 --> 00:22:23.210 had, and he had the other two kids, and I said, 00:22:23.269 --> 00:22:27.450 you need to make a choice here. Drugs or your 00:22:27.450 --> 00:22:31.529 children? What do you want? And he said to me, 00:22:31.589 --> 00:22:37.900 drugs. That just broke me. But all I could do 00:22:37.900 --> 00:22:40.740 is pray for him. I couldn't change his life. 00:22:40.880 --> 00:22:44.599 I couldn't change anything that he was doing. 00:22:44.980 --> 00:22:47.960 All I could do was pray for him and pray for 00:22:47.960 --> 00:22:55.140 his children. What has been, obviously, you raising 00:22:55.140 --> 00:22:59.519 Michael and Michaela specifically, and then their 00:22:59.519 --> 00:23:03.359 dad, kind of like separate, I guess, trying to 00:23:03.359 --> 00:23:07.660 separate them. What did that do for your mental 00:23:07.660 --> 00:23:10.700 health? Do you feel like that was a really difficult 00:23:10.700 --> 00:23:15.059 separation? I think because I had really good 00:23:15.059 --> 00:23:19.059 Christian friendships, women in my life who were 00:23:19.059 --> 00:23:22.640 strong mentors, I think that really helped me 00:23:22.640 --> 00:23:24.880 balance things out, that I could talk to them. 00:23:25.160 --> 00:23:28.380 I don't know how I would do it without the Lord 00:23:28.380 --> 00:23:31.480 in my life and the strong people that I got to 00:23:31.480 --> 00:23:36.589 be around. Do you feel like people around you 00:23:36.589 --> 00:23:40.329 judged you in any sense, raising your grandkids, 00:23:40.430 --> 00:23:46.049 maybe what your story was and how, I don't know, 00:23:46.049 --> 00:23:49.569 how they came into your household? Do you felt 00:23:49.569 --> 00:23:51.529 any judgment from anyone or do you feel like 00:23:51.529 --> 00:23:53.329 you mostly had support around you? I don't think 00:23:53.329 --> 00:23:55.849 so. I think I mostly had support. That's great. 00:23:55.950 --> 00:23:57.970 I don't think I had people in my life that were 00:23:57.970 --> 00:24:02.130 that caliber that would have done that. I mean, 00:24:02.150 --> 00:24:05.140 I had... I had some people say, are you sure 00:24:05.140 --> 00:24:08.099 you want to do this? Isn't this too hard? Well, 00:24:08.259 --> 00:24:11.039 what are you going to do? Turn them out in a 00:24:11.039 --> 00:24:13.480 while? I'm not going to say no in this case. 00:24:13.920 --> 00:24:19.920 Oh, sorry. They're here. They're ours. Obviously, 00:24:20.039 --> 00:24:23.539 I know a bit of Michael's childhood. Do you feel 00:24:23.539 --> 00:24:27.019 like it was more difficult to raise your own 00:24:27.019 --> 00:24:32.599 kids or your grandkids? Oh, my gosh. Probably 00:24:32.599 --> 00:24:35.880 my own kids. Really? Yeah, I thought Michael 00:24:35.880 --> 00:24:38.359 and Michaela were pretty easy. Really? But, you 00:24:38.359 --> 00:24:40.160 know, I would say to Michael, okay, I've been 00:24:40.160 --> 00:24:43.119 through this four times already, so you're not 00:24:43.119 --> 00:24:45.259 getting away with it. Yeah, you're like, your 00:24:45.259 --> 00:24:49.160 tantrums are nothing. Yeah, compared to your 00:24:49.160 --> 00:24:53.440 Uncle Tim, you know. No, I... I think my own 00:24:53.440 --> 00:24:57.359 kids. I think I'm a great preschool mom and maybe 00:24:57.359 --> 00:25:00.440 early elementary. But then I think I struggle 00:25:00.440 --> 00:25:03.700 through those teen years. Teen years are hard. 00:25:04.359 --> 00:25:06.799 What's been the hardest part or what was, I guess, 00:25:06.819 --> 00:25:08.480 the hardest part about the teen years for you? 00:25:08.799 --> 00:25:12.000 Oh, my gosh. Just the decisions that they would 00:25:12.000 --> 00:25:14.480 make knowing that they were wrong, but they didn't 00:25:14.480 --> 00:25:19.259 care. Just saying. I know mom said no, but I'm 00:25:19.259 --> 00:25:21.700 going to do it anyway. And then we talk about 00:25:21.700 --> 00:25:24.799 that afterwards. They say like your frontal lobe 00:25:24.799 --> 00:25:27.400 is not developed. I think it's like a little 00:25:27.400 --> 00:25:30.799 earlier for girls. But it's like your mid -20s. 00:25:30.799 --> 00:25:33.779 Yeah, mid -20s for both. And I look back on my 00:25:33.779 --> 00:25:36.720 childhood a lot. And if I am talking about a 00:25:36.720 --> 00:25:39.119 mistake I made or whatever, I always blame it 00:25:39.119 --> 00:25:45.009 on my frontal lobe. I can say as an actual adult 00:25:45.009 --> 00:25:48.849 now who my brain is fully developed from what 00:25:48.849 --> 00:25:51.710 they tell us, I can even look back into my early 00:25:51.710 --> 00:25:53.829 20s and be like, things make more sense now, 00:25:53.890 --> 00:25:56.730 just like random things make more sense now than 00:25:56.730 --> 00:25:59.309 they did when I was 21. And the decisions I'd 00:25:59.309 --> 00:26:01.690 make now are so different than what I did at 00:26:01.690 --> 00:26:04.130 that time. And just your process. Yeah, how you 00:26:04.130 --> 00:26:07.720 think about things, the risk -benefit. Yeah. 00:26:07.819 --> 00:26:10.019 Analysis, you know, that goes through your brain. 00:26:10.059 --> 00:26:12.380 It just doesn't happen when you're in your teens. 00:26:12.440 --> 00:26:15.460 No, not at all. Well, the one thing that I always 00:26:15.460 --> 00:26:17.960 thought was positive was I would give them advice 00:26:17.960 --> 00:26:21.740 about something and then later on overhear them 00:26:21.740 --> 00:26:24.960 telling someone the same advice that we've given 00:26:24.960 --> 00:26:27.500 them. And I would think, well, they weren't listening. 00:26:27.680 --> 00:26:30.819 Yeah. I'm just not sure. Yeah. They may not always 00:26:30.819 --> 00:26:32.839 do what I say, but they hear it. Yes, they do. 00:26:32.920 --> 00:26:35.180 Yes. They might not take the advice, but they 00:26:35.180 --> 00:26:36.700 know what it is. They'll give it to other people, 00:26:36.720 --> 00:26:40.599 though. Yeah. That's awesome. Okay, so now you 00:26:40.599 --> 00:26:45.920 guys recently moved to Tennessee. Mikayla, Michael's 00:26:45.920 --> 00:26:49.180 younger sister, lived with you guys until not... 00:26:49.440 --> 00:26:51.660 Too, too long ago. Until she was 22. Yeah, until 00:26:51.660 --> 00:26:54.859 she was 22, which really, she's 23. She's 24. 00:26:54.940 --> 00:26:59.779 24 now. Yeah. And so you guys are now empty nesters. 00:26:59.799 --> 00:27:02.900 Yes. Which, like, that's a whole nother new business. 00:27:03.240 --> 00:27:07.859 How much of your entire marriage up until two 00:27:07.859 --> 00:27:09.940 years ago, it sounds like, you've had kids in 00:27:09.940 --> 00:27:12.519 your house then? A very long time. That's a long 00:27:12.519 --> 00:27:15.240 time. Did you ever have a gap in between? No. 00:27:15.400 --> 00:27:19.079 No. There was no gap. No. Well, Michaela moved 00:27:19.079 --> 00:27:22.059 into an apartment when she was 22. She was in 00:27:22.059 --> 00:27:25.079 college. And we thought, okay, this is going 00:27:25.079 --> 00:27:27.019 to be interesting. I mean, she was still in Sacramento. 00:27:27.200 --> 00:27:29.400 She was still very close to us. She still came 00:27:29.400 --> 00:27:32.240 for lunch almost every day because her job was 00:27:32.240 --> 00:27:35.539 really close to our home. And so we saw her all 00:27:35.539 --> 00:27:39.579 the time. It's been very different. The other 00:27:39.579 --> 00:27:42.160 thing I think the adjustment for us is we've 00:27:42.160 --> 00:27:44.599 never hung around with people in their mid -70s. 00:27:44.839 --> 00:27:48.539 So even finding a church and now... Like, these 00:27:48.539 --> 00:27:51.279 people are old. What is going on? I think, okay, 00:27:51.319 --> 00:27:52.880 Dick, what are we going to do? We've got to get 00:27:52.880 --> 00:27:55.720 out there and make some friends. Then I had knee 00:27:55.720 --> 00:27:58.859 surgery shortly after we moved there, knee replacement 00:27:58.859 --> 00:28:03.380 revision. So that's been holding me back. I've 00:28:03.380 --> 00:28:07.680 got blood clots, so that set me back. Now we're 00:28:07.680 --> 00:28:10.420 ready to go back home and maybe start our new 00:28:10.420 --> 00:28:12.980 life together. Find your community. Yeah. As 00:28:12.980 --> 00:28:15.500 empty nesters. And I'm sure it's different, too. 00:28:15.599 --> 00:28:17.960 Like, I mean, you guys have been raising kids 00:28:17.960 --> 00:28:22.220 for so long, just you and Dick. Yeah. And now 00:28:22.220 --> 00:28:24.970 it's like. Well, now you guys have to get to 00:28:24.970 --> 00:28:28.029 know each other in a new. I know. A new. It's 00:28:28.029 --> 00:28:29.690 going to be different for us. Yeah, stage of 00:28:29.690 --> 00:28:32.049 life. And in a new place, too, that we don't 00:28:32.049 --> 00:28:34.450 really know. We're ready to explore. We just 00:28:34.450 --> 00:28:37.730 haven't been able to get out and go places and 00:28:37.730 --> 00:28:40.650 go to all these places in Tennessee that we want 00:28:40.650 --> 00:28:43.089 to visit. And now I think we'll be doing that. 00:28:43.490 --> 00:28:49.369 Yeah. What was the biggest challenge for you? 00:28:50.039 --> 00:28:53.140 in raising your grandkids? Because we, I mean, 00:28:53.160 --> 00:28:55.019 we talked about this was never in the plan for 00:28:55.019 --> 00:28:57.660 you to raise your grandkids. What do you feel 00:28:57.660 --> 00:29:00.720 like was the biggest challenge for you in raising 00:29:00.720 --> 00:29:04.579 them? Staying consistent. It's, you know, you 00:29:04.579 --> 00:29:06.599 got to be consistent with your children. And 00:29:06.599 --> 00:29:10.279 I knew that as a mom, but feeling a little sorry 00:29:10.279 --> 00:29:13.279 for them because they didn't have the life that 00:29:13.279 --> 00:29:17.460 they should have had. And I think trying to not 00:29:17.460 --> 00:29:21.680 give in and just let it go I couldn't do that 00:29:21.680 --> 00:29:25.160 and I wanted to so badly sometimes you just you 00:29:25.160 --> 00:29:27.400 have to hold them accountable no matter what 00:29:27.400 --> 00:29:30.619 their age is uh for what you know for what they 00:29:30.619 --> 00:29:34.740 can understand and it was it was difficult to 00:29:34.740 --> 00:29:38.440 do that because I felt bad I knew that Michael 00:29:38.440 --> 00:29:40.920 had been exposed to so many things that were 00:29:40.920 --> 00:29:44.380 so inappropriate and I would just pray that God 00:29:44.380 --> 00:29:47.279 would take those things out of his mind and that 00:29:47.279 --> 00:29:52.240 as he grew that he would have really strong youth 00:29:52.240 --> 00:29:55.980 ministry people around him, and he did. I was 00:29:55.980 --> 00:29:59.779 so grateful for that because those people could 00:29:59.779 --> 00:30:04.859 feed into his life and help him. But just staying 00:30:04.859 --> 00:30:07.880 consistent with them and not feeling sorry for 00:30:07.880 --> 00:30:09.960 them. They didn't need me to feel sorry for them. 00:30:09.980 --> 00:30:12.700 They needed me to love them and guide them. Was 00:30:12.700 --> 00:30:17.160 it hard missing out on being a grandma? So I 00:30:17.160 --> 00:30:19.140 know when I talk to, like, my mom and my mother 00:30:19.140 --> 00:30:21.079 -in -law and, you know, my dad and father -in 00:30:21.079 --> 00:30:23.079 -law, they love so much that they get to spoil 00:30:23.079 --> 00:30:25.819 the kids and they get to just do the fun things. 00:30:25.880 --> 00:30:27.420 Like, obviously, there's a little bit of discipline 00:30:27.420 --> 00:30:29.119 if they're babysitting or something, but it's 00:30:29.119 --> 00:30:30.799 mostly just, like, the fun parts. And then they 00:30:30.799 --> 00:30:33.720 hand them back and go sleep. So you kind of just 00:30:33.720 --> 00:30:36.099 skipped the fun parts of being a grandma. I know. 00:30:36.099 --> 00:30:38.440 You do. You do. Was that hard? Like, did you 00:30:38.440 --> 00:30:40.380 have to grieve the fact that this part was gone? 00:30:40.380 --> 00:30:45.809 I think I did. And then also trying to. my other 00:30:45.809 --> 00:30:49.309 grandchildren. Sure. Because I wanted, Michael 00:30:49.309 --> 00:30:52.049 was the first, Michaela was the second, but then 00:30:52.049 --> 00:30:53.750 there's all these other ones that came after. 00:30:53.950 --> 00:30:57.009 Yeah. And wanting to be their grandparent and 00:30:57.009 --> 00:31:00.670 love on them and at the same time having to parent 00:31:00.670 --> 00:31:04.630 these two, it was, it's a difficult situation, 00:31:05.029 --> 00:31:07.750 but we just, I mean, we tried our best. I'm sure 00:31:07.750 --> 00:31:10.890 we failed many times, but we tried our best to 00:31:10.890 --> 00:31:14.680 just do what was best for these kids. And we 00:31:14.680 --> 00:31:18.640 always took them everywhere with us, wherever 00:31:18.640 --> 00:31:23.220 we went. And they're close to all their cousins. 00:31:23.380 --> 00:31:25.740 They love their cousins and love having them 00:31:25.740 --> 00:31:32.000 come and visit. I think it was difficult for 00:31:32.000 --> 00:31:35.900 a couple of family members that wanted me to 00:31:35.900 --> 00:31:38.059 leave those kids at home and come and be with 00:31:38.059 --> 00:31:41.559 their children. Sure. And I could not do that. 00:31:41.869 --> 00:31:46.750 I had to say that I can't do that. But all in 00:31:46.750 --> 00:31:49.509 all, it takes a village, and we had a big village. 00:31:49.529 --> 00:31:52.450 We were very fortunate that if Dick and I needed 00:31:52.450 --> 00:31:55.890 to go away for a weekend or do something just 00:31:55.890 --> 00:31:58.950 for us, we always had someone who was able to 00:31:58.950 --> 00:32:01.390 stay with the children who we trusted and who 00:32:01.390 --> 00:32:04.549 loved them, and we knew we'd take care of them. 00:32:05.349 --> 00:32:10.059 That's awesome. What was your biggest joy? in 00:32:10.059 --> 00:32:15.220 raising your grandkids? Oh, my gosh. Oh, my word, 00:32:15.240 --> 00:32:18.720 there's so many. You can say a few, too. You 00:32:18.720 --> 00:32:23.740 know, just seeing them in school and singing, 00:32:23.880 --> 00:32:27.720 you know, singing. They love to be on stage doing 00:32:27.720 --> 00:32:30.720 something, you know, with their talent shows, 00:32:30.940 --> 00:32:33.430 you know. Michaela and her little friends would 00:32:33.430 --> 00:32:35.670 all buy the same outfit, dress up, and do the 00:32:35.670 --> 00:32:39.349 talent show. And then Michael did one, and they 00:32:39.349 --> 00:32:43.269 did baseball uniforms and sang this baseball 00:32:43.269 --> 00:32:46.569 song. You know, Coach Let Me In is what it is. 00:32:47.049 --> 00:32:49.069 I'd love to see a video of that, please. I love 00:32:49.069 --> 00:32:52.410 it. It was so fun. We enjoyed that so much. And, 00:32:52.450 --> 00:32:56.670 you know, teaching them to ride a bike. And you're 00:32:56.670 --> 00:32:58.410 trying to run down the street, and you're in 00:32:58.410 --> 00:33:03.630 your 40s. But it was so fun doing that with them. 00:33:03.730 --> 00:33:06.869 And just even when they got in trouble for something, 00:33:07.009 --> 00:33:08.970 you're helping them work through that or solve 00:33:08.970 --> 00:33:13.349 it. Yeah. I'm sure, yeah, like you mentioned 00:33:13.349 --> 00:33:16.420 that it was harder to. raise your own kids. Second 00:33:16.420 --> 00:33:19.019 time around, it's like you have more experience. 00:33:19.160 --> 00:33:21.099 Even when you have a second child, don't you 00:33:21.099 --> 00:33:24.299 feel like you know so much more? And you're just 00:33:24.299 --> 00:33:26.740 a little more confident. Absolutely. I didn't 00:33:26.740 --> 00:33:29.019 kill the first one, so I feel good about the 00:33:29.019 --> 00:33:32.079 second one. And it's okay if they cry. That's 00:33:32.079 --> 00:33:35.339 why they communicate too. It's good developmentally 00:33:35.339 --> 00:33:39.220 for them, in a sense. I know. So one of the things 00:33:39.220 --> 00:33:42.019 Stuart and I have talked about with having kids 00:33:42.019 --> 00:33:45.750 is one of the joys is getting to experience life 00:33:45.750 --> 00:33:48.490 through them oh yes right so like the example 00:33:48.490 --> 00:33:52.369 i always go to is lloyd loves lights so much 00:33:52.369 --> 00:33:54.369 so last year for the fourth of july we made sure 00:33:54.369 --> 00:33:56.630 he got to see the fireworks and he had just like 00:33:56.630 --> 00:33:59.450 the most joy in his face and it was so much fun 00:33:59.450 --> 00:34:01.650 for us because we got to watch that and i feel 00:34:01.650 --> 00:34:04.630 like as i hear you talk about the joys of raising 00:34:04.630 --> 00:34:08.369 your grandkids it's just that again it's like 00:34:08.369 --> 00:34:10.869 oh i got to experience yes these joys through 00:34:10.869 --> 00:34:14.769 even more kids yeah in my house of you know seeing 00:34:14.769 --> 00:34:17.489 them experience life and all these things are 00:34:17.489 --> 00:34:19.650 like kind of boring once you're an adult aren't 00:34:19.650 --> 00:34:21.630 boring anymore because you have this kid to experience 00:34:21.630 --> 00:34:24.949 it with that's right and you want to share those 00:34:24.949 --> 00:34:28.570 activities yep yeah that's so fun oh my god so 00:34:28.570 --> 00:34:30.690 what is something you would tell someone who 00:34:30.690 --> 00:34:34.070 is either maybe considering taking in their grandkids 00:34:34.070 --> 00:34:37.920 or is actively parenting their grandkids, have 00:34:37.920 --> 00:34:40.360 them in their house? Well, hopefully they have 00:34:40.360 --> 00:34:46.699 Christ in their life first. And then just don't 00:34:46.699 --> 00:34:49.780 have expectations that are going to be so big 00:34:49.780 --> 00:34:51.880 that you can't meet them or they can't meet them. 00:34:52.260 --> 00:34:56.179 That you make sure you spend quality time with 00:34:56.179 --> 00:34:59.420 them and make sure it's going to work out for 00:34:59.420 --> 00:35:01.619 you and your family. You don't want to take them 00:35:01.619 --> 00:35:05.139 in and then regret it because it is a lot of 00:35:05.139 --> 00:35:08.900 work. But you have to know that this is the best 00:35:08.900 --> 00:35:11.880 thing for your child, your grandchild, and for 00:35:11.880 --> 00:35:16.820 you. Yeah, yeah. And just swarm people around 00:35:16.820 --> 00:35:19.800 you that you love and want to be a part of these 00:35:19.800 --> 00:35:23.619 children's lives. I think that's so important. 00:35:24.099 --> 00:35:28.599 Yeah, that's great. Well, yeah, I mean, obviously, 00:35:28.619 --> 00:35:31.980 like I said, you're so special and dear to my 00:35:31.980 --> 00:35:36.980 heart because I probably wouldn't. Be here, married 00:35:36.980 --> 00:35:39.840 to Michael, and we wouldn't have our two little 00:35:39.840 --> 00:35:43.260 kids if it weren't for you stepping in, you and 00:35:43.260 --> 00:35:46.340 Dick stepping in and raising Michael and Michaela. 00:35:46.360 --> 00:35:50.099 And he wouldn't be the man and father he is today 00:35:50.099 --> 00:35:53.460 without you guys. So I'm just super appreciative 00:35:53.460 --> 00:35:57.340 and grateful for who you are and the way that 00:35:57.340 --> 00:36:02.889 you stepped in. put your life on hold in a sense 00:36:02.889 --> 00:36:07.510 to raise your grandkids. So thank you for all 00:36:07.510 --> 00:36:11.889 that you've done. Oh, you're welcome. Well, we 00:36:11.889 --> 00:36:15.630 like to close out every episode with our wins 00:36:15.630 --> 00:36:19.389 of the week. Erica, do you want to go ahead and 00:36:19.389 --> 00:36:23.300 share your win of the week first? Sure. Lloyd 00:36:23.300 --> 00:36:25.360 is in a stage where he really loves airplanes 00:36:25.360 --> 00:36:27.139 and he always points them out and it's really 00:36:27.139 --> 00:36:29.840 fun. And we live pretty close to a couple of 00:36:29.840 --> 00:36:33.059 like small air parks. So Stuart had the idea 00:36:33.059 --> 00:36:35.380 that we should have, you know, pack a picnic 00:36:35.380 --> 00:36:38.219 and go watch airplanes take off while we eat 00:36:38.219 --> 00:36:41.840 lunch. So we get everyone packed up and we tried 00:36:41.840 --> 00:36:44.179 to find a spot and we just like couldn't find 00:36:44.179 --> 00:36:46.000 a good spot. And we finally found a spot that 00:36:46.000 --> 00:36:47.760 was reasonable, except for that there was like 00:36:47.760 --> 00:36:50.460 a tree right in the way. And it was just one 00:36:50.460 --> 00:36:52.380 of those things where it wasn't working out how 00:36:52.380 --> 00:36:54.840 Stuart and I had imagined it at all. But we're 00:36:54.840 --> 00:36:56.820 like the few planes that are taking off and that 00:36:56.820 --> 00:36:58.480 are like blocked by this tree. We're like pointing 00:36:58.480 --> 00:37:00.300 out to Lloyd and like, look, it's an airplane. 00:37:01.130 --> 00:37:03.670 And we're just sitting there eating, and we're 00:37:03.670 --> 00:37:05.690 also trying to teach him sign language. And just 00:37:05.690 --> 00:37:08.570 out of the blue, he wasn't saying anything. He 00:37:08.570 --> 00:37:11.570 just, like, said it and signed happy. And then 00:37:11.570 --> 00:37:13.730 he kept eating, and it was just the sweetest 00:37:13.730 --> 00:37:16.030 thing in the world. We had this vision of how 00:37:16.030 --> 00:37:18.590 this day was supposed to go. Didn't work out 00:37:18.590 --> 00:37:21.550 at all. But he was so happy that we were just 00:37:21.550 --> 00:37:24.030 sitting there together, watching cars and airplanes, 00:37:24.269 --> 00:37:26.849 even if the view was terrible. Oh, that's so 00:37:26.849 --> 00:37:29.889 sweet. Yeah, and he's also never signed or said, 00:37:30.300 --> 00:37:32.760 happy like at least without prompting without 00:37:32.760 --> 00:37:34.480 prompting yeah usually it's like he's clearly 00:37:34.480 --> 00:37:36.500 practicing his words or something like that whereas 00:37:36.500 --> 00:37:39.019 like this time it was clearly that he was communicating 00:37:39.019 --> 00:37:42.639 that he was happy it was just so sweet and one 00:37:42.639 --> 00:37:44.440 of those times you're like oh we're not doing 00:37:44.440 --> 00:37:47.719 a terrible job as parents oh that's so so sweet 00:37:47.719 --> 00:37:51.530 i love that My win of the week, so we've been 00:37:51.530 --> 00:37:54.369 dealing with just sickness after sickness in 00:37:54.369 --> 00:37:57.949 our house. And I think it's from Sunday school. 00:37:58.130 --> 00:38:01.110 I don't know. I mean, we're not around a bunch 00:38:01.110 --> 00:38:03.829 of other kids all the time, so I don't know where 00:38:03.829 --> 00:38:05.889 Colt keeps getting all these sicknesses from. 00:38:06.030 --> 00:38:09.210 But he had croup a couple weeks ago, and then 00:38:09.210 --> 00:38:12.369 that kind of turned into he had a sinus infection 00:38:12.369 --> 00:38:17.090 and an ear infection. all that to say sleep has 00:38:17.090 --> 00:38:19.690 been just like non -existent in our house. Um, 00:38:19.969 --> 00:38:22.369 because I mean, finally, once we figured out 00:38:22.369 --> 00:38:24.389 he had a sinus infection and ear infection, we 00:38:24.389 --> 00:38:26.869 were like, okay, that makes sense why he's like 00:38:26.869 --> 00:38:31.230 waking up screaming and inconsolable. But so 00:38:31.230 --> 00:38:34.190 we finally got him on some antibiotics, but like 00:38:34.190 --> 00:38:37.929 two nights ago we get him down for bed. And I 00:38:37.929 --> 00:38:40.570 mean, pretty much every night. Colt wakes up 00:38:40.570 --> 00:38:42.170 in the middle of the night and Michael has been 00:38:42.170 --> 00:38:44.510 going in there and like pretty much sleeping 00:38:44.510 --> 00:38:46.969 on the recliner with him for the rest of the 00:38:46.969 --> 00:38:49.170 night. Or they go down and sleep on the couch 00:38:49.170 --> 00:38:51.590 for the rest of the night because Colt, once 00:38:51.590 --> 00:38:53.250 you get him back to sleep, just putting him back 00:38:53.250 --> 00:38:57.730 in his bed is like impossible pretty much. And 00:38:57.730 --> 00:39:00.590 so the other night, yeah, we put him down at 00:39:00.590 --> 00:39:04.670 like eight o 'clock, go to bed eventually. And 00:39:04.670 --> 00:39:07.070 I mean, we go into the night with the mindset 00:39:07.070 --> 00:39:09.650 of like, okay. it's not going to be a good night's 00:39:09.650 --> 00:39:12.309 sleep. And we know that. We have a newborn too. 00:39:12.409 --> 00:39:15.070 So it's like, you know, it's not ever going to 00:39:15.070 --> 00:39:18.190 be a great night's sleep right now. But we woke 00:39:18.190 --> 00:39:21.730 up at like 6 .30 and checked the monitor and 00:39:21.730 --> 00:39:25.449 Colt was still sleeping. And I was feeding Cruz 00:39:25.449 --> 00:39:27.929 at this point. And so I like just was looking 00:39:27.929 --> 00:39:30.269 at the monitor. And at one point at like 6 .30, 00:39:30.309 --> 00:39:32.849 Colt like sits up in the crib. He like sits there 00:39:32.849 --> 00:39:34.590 for a minute and then he lays back down and goes 00:39:34.590 --> 00:39:38.449 back to sleep until 7 in the morning. Michael 00:39:38.449 --> 00:39:40.849 woke up at like 6 .45 and he looks at the monitor 00:39:40.849 --> 00:39:43.469 and he's like, is Colt alive? And I was like, 00:39:43.489 --> 00:39:46.519 is Colt? Yes. I was like, he's. He's breathing. 00:39:46.579 --> 00:39:49.099 He's fine. I saw him sit up. Michael's like, 00:39:49.159 --> 00:39:51.539 oh my gosh, I just got a full night's sleep. 00:39:51.639 --> 00:39:53.659 And I was like, when was the last time that happened? 00:39:53.880 --> 00:39:56.480 Yeah, exactly. And so that's my win of the week 00:39:56.480 --> 00:39:59.380 is that we got one. I mean, I didn't sleep the 00:39:59.380 --> 00:40:01.320 whole night through because I was up feeding 00:40:01.320 --> 00:40:04.059 the baby a lot. But even just having one kid 00:40:04.059 --> 00:40:05.639 wake you up throughout the night instead of two 00:40:05.639 --> 00:40:07.539 makes a big difference. It just was a game changer. 00:40:07.659 --> 00:40:10.219 And I was like, I don't know what we did. I mean, 00:40:10.239 --> 00:40:12.960 I think that he's getting like better from his 00:40:12.960 --> 00:40:16.079 sicknesses. But the next day I was like, we're 00:40:16.079 --> 00:40:17.780 going to do everything the same. I was like, 00:40:17.800 --> 00:40:20.559 when it comes to what he eats before bed, what 00:40:20.559 --> 00:40:23.880 pajamas he's wearing, what books we read, if 00:40:23.880 --> 00:40:27.079 he takes a bath or not. I was like, let's do 00:40:27.079 --> 00:40:29.900 everything the same. And we did pretty much do 00:40:29.900 --> 00:40:31.940 everything the same other than the pajamas because 00:40:31.940 --> 00:40:33.920 he got food all over them. And then he didn't 00:40:33.920 --> 00:40:35.760 sleep through the night, the next night. But, 00:40:35.780 --> 00:40:39.539 you know, I don't know what we did, but it was 00:40:39.539 --> 00:40:42.500 a win just that one night. It was great. Yeah. 00:40:43.260 --> 00:40:45.860 Sharon, what about you? I think my win is getting 00:40:45.860 --> 00:40:51.219 to come and meet Cruz. Yeah, yeah. Big chunky 00:40:51.219 --> 00:40:53.920 boy. Yeah, he's just so adorable. And to see 00:40:53.920 --> 00:40:56.840 Colt again, and then to see Michael as a dad. 00:40:57.059 --> 00:41:00.039 Yeah. It just really makes me feel good that 00:41:00.039 --> 00:41:04.519 he loves his wife dearly, you can tell. And even 00:41:04.519 --> 00:41:08.380 though he teases you, I like that. And he loves 00:41:08.380 --> 00:41:13.119 his children. He spends time with them. talks 00:41:13.119 --> 00:41:15.340 to them colt he and colt have these great little 00:41:15.340 --> 00:41:19.960 conversations and it's just so sweet i love seeing 00:41:19.960 --> 00:41:23.760 the way he's matured and and gone through all 00:41:23.760 --> 00:41:25.760 the struggles he went through and come out the 00:41:25.760 --> 00:41:28.800 other side and that's such a testament to you 00:41:28.800 --> 00:41:31.940 too oh thank you you've raised this this man 00:41:31.940 --> 00:41:35.760 to be such a good dad and husband and yeah yeah 00:41:35.760 --> 00:41:39.440 it's so true and jesus a whole lot of jesus yeah 00:41:39.440 --> 00:41:43.800 yeah You know, my daughters are amazing women. 00:41:45.019 --> 00:41:48.019 They're just, they would do anything for anyone, 00:41:48.119 --> 00:41:52.239 both of them, our son. So we have a great family. 00:41:52.280 --> 00:41:56.860 We love it. We like seeing them parent, and Allison's 00:41:56.860 --> 00:41:59.679 the best aunt to every child in town. Oh, yeah. 00:42:00.079 --> 00:42:02.559 Yeah, and I'm so grateful to be a part of it, 00:42:02.579 --> 00:42:05.199 be a little part of your family. Well, we love 00:42:05.199 --> 00:42:08.480 you. Love you guys. We're so glad Michael chose 00:42:08.480 --> 00:42:14.500 you. Me too. Well, thank you for being on today 00:42:14.500 --> 00:42:16.940 and sharing your story. That's such an amazing 00:42:16.940 --> 00:42:21.300 story and just testament to your character. It's 00:42:21.300 --> 00:42:22.719 amazing. We're really thankful that you're here. 00:42:23.599 --> 00:42:26.119 And thank you all for listening today to Sharon's 00:42:26.119 --> 00:42:29.079 story and joining us this week. We hope that 00:42:29.079 --> 00:42:31.960 you liked it. Please connect with us on social 00:42:31.960 --> 00:42:35.650 media. Let us know what you'd like to hear. Review, 00:42:35.789 --> 00:42:38.650 subscribe, all of that. And we'll see you next 00:42:38.650 --> 00:42:40.190 week. See you next week.