WEBVTT 00:00:13.189 --> 00:00:16.510 Welcome back to No Manual, a momcast. We are 00:00:16.510 --> 00:00:19.210 here to just share the realities of motherhood, 00:00:19.350 --> 00:00:22.850 the fun things, the hard things. This week I 00:00:22.850 --> 00:00:26.449 am flying solo. Laura had a sick kiddo, which 00:00:26.449 --> 00:00:28.769 is one of the joys of doing this as a mom is 00:00:28.769 --> 00:00:30.949 sometimes you just gotta tend to your kiddo and 00:00:30.949 --> 00:00:33.890 things come up. But today I'm very excited to 00:00:33.890 --> 00:00:36.329 have my friend Claudine on. Claudine, we've known 00:00:36.329 --> 00:00:39.450 each other. Probably almost 20 years now. You 00:00:39.450 --> 00:00:41.450 were in junior high, since you were my kids' 00:00:41.530 --> 00:00:43.770 ages. We knew each other before that, though. 00:00:43.950 --> 00:00:46.229 Oh, true. Because you knew my parents. So we've 00:00:46.229 --> 00:00:49.250 known each other a very long time. But I'm excited 00:00:49.250 --> 00:00:51.109 to have you on and talk about your experience 00:00:51.109 --> 00:00:53.869 with motherhood and your girls. So would you 00:00:53.869 --> 00:00:56.640 like to introduce yourself? Yeah. My name's Claudine 00:00:56.640 --> 00:01:00.479 Norden and I live in Summit County. I have two 00:01:00.479 --> 00:01:04.060 girls, Mia, who's 14 and Maddie, who's 11. And 00:01:04.060 --> 00:01:06.319 my husband, Mark, we all live in Frisco up in 00:01:06.319 --> 00:01:10.159 the mountains. And I know Erica from being her 00:01:10.159 --> 00:01:12.599 youth group leader when she was in junior high. 00:01:13.140 --> 00:01:16.879 And so now my girls are her age. So this is an 00:01:16.879 --> 00:01:20.680 exciting full circle moment for me. So we like 00:01:20.680 --> 00:01:25.120 to start each episode with our mom moments. So 00:01:25.120 --> 00:01:30.200 my mom moment this week is Lloyd was in the other 00:01:30.200 --> 00:01:32.340 room. I must have been nursing Zeta or something 00:01:32.340 --> 00:01:34.700 like that. I wasn't keeping an eye on him. And 00:01:34.700 --> 00:01:36.540 I could tell he was playing with the Xbox controller, 00:01:36.819 --> 00:01:39.260 which is not a big deal. But then I get over 00:01:39.260 --> 00:01:42.480 to the living room and I see that the TV says, 00:01:42.640 --> 00:01:46.379 thanks for paying for ad -free Amazon Prime. 00:01:46.540 --> 00:01:50.510 So somehow. Just by playing with the Xbox controller. 00:01:50.709 --> 00:01:53.629 He bought something on the TV, and thankfully 00:01:53.629 --> 00:01:55.709 it's Amazon, so we were able to cancel it, and 00:01:55.709 --> 00:01:58.189 it wasn't a big deal, but he just figured that 00:01:58.189 --> 00:02:02.349 out while I was in the other room. Real life. 00:02:02.569 --> 00:02:04.950 Yep. Right? We knew it was going to happen someday, 00:02:05.090 --> 00:02:08.469 and there we are. Well, I shared with you my 00:02:08.469 --> 00:02:11.590 mom moment earlier that was kind of big for me, 00:02:11.689 --> 00:02:15.250 but it was the first time I got a phone call 00:02:15.250 --> 00:02:20.930 that was like, Your kid's in trouble. So I was 00:02:20.930 --> 00:02:23.050 driving home from Vail. So I was about 20, 30 00:02:23.050 --> 00:02:25.349 minutes away from home. And I get a phone call 00:02:25.349 --> 00:02:28.110 from a friend of mine that's like, Maddie just 00:02:28.110 --> 00:02:30.430 got hit by a car. And I'm like, you're kidding 00:02:30.430 --> 00:02:34.250 me, right? Like, who gets that phone call? And 00:02:34.250 --> 00:02:37.409 I'm like, what's going on? And she tells me what 00:02:37.409 --> 00:02:42.150 happened. And basically, my daughter got her 00:02:42.150 --> 00:02:44.289 front wheel taken out by a car leaving the middle 00:02:44.289 --> 00:02:47.460 school. But she got up on her bike and biked 00:02:47.460 --> 00:02:51.259 home. And our friends chased down the guy to 00:02:51.259 --> 00:02:53.759 get his license plate because he drove off. And 00:02:53.759 --> 00:02:56.699 then I was like, literally, you feel so helpless 00:02:56.699 --> 00:02:59.400 as a mom. And so that moment for me was like, 00:02:59.500 --> 00:03:01.620 I had no idea what was going on. So I called 00:03:01.620 --> 00:03:03.879 my husband. I called Mark. And he's like, she's 00:03:03.879 --> 00:03:05.879 home. I'm like, she just got hit by a car. You 00:03:05.879 --> 00:03:07.159 got to go to the school. You know, just like, 00:03:07.219 --> 00:03:08.539 that was my first reaction. I was like, go to 00:03:08.539 --> 00:03:11.159 school. And he's like, she's home. And then he's 00:03:11.159 --> 00:03:13.330 like, okay. And he just hung up the phone. And 00:03:13.330 --> 00:03:14.969 in that moment, I realized, you know, it's probably 00:03:14.969 --> 00:03:16.689 best that I'm not there because I just freaked 00:03:16.689 --> 00:03:19.330 out more than anybody else there. So that was 00:03:19.330 --> 00:03:22.629 my mom freak out moment. Maybe that story will 00:03:22.629 --> 00:03:25.389 come up later on of how that ended. But yeah, 00:03:25.490 --> 00:03:28.150 for me, it was like, I need to regulate myself 00:03:28.150 --> 00:03:31.409 here and let that play itself out. And it was 00:03:31.409 --> 00:03:33.530 a good thing Mark was at home with her, not me. 00:03:34.330 --> 00:03:36.150 Yeah, I think that's something no one tells you 00:03:36.150 --> 00:03:37.729 about motherhood is how much you have to regulate 00:03:37.729 --> 00:03:40.569 yourself. More like, you know, we talk about 00:03:40.569 --> 00:03:43.969 the... kids needing to have their emotions regulated 00:03:43.969 --> 00:03:47.150 and help them with that. But you have to help 00:03:47.150 --> 00:03:49.030 yourself first. Totally. It's the oxygen mask 00:03:49.030 --> 00:03:52.229 thing. Put your oxygen mask first and then take 00:03:52.229 --> 00:03:53.349 care of your kids. And you're like, what? If 00:03:53.349 --> 00:03:54.789 you're on a plane, you're going to do it for 00:03:54.789 --> 00:03:55.930 the kids, but then you're going to pass out and 00:03:55.930 --> 00:03:59.509 be like, no help to them. Exactly. Yep. So tell 00:03:59.509 --> 00:04:02.830 us more about your family. Oh, let's see. Mia 00:04:02.830 --> 00:04:06.310 just finished eighth grade. She was doing online 00:04:06.310 --> 00:04:09.270 homeschool for the past two years. And so she's 00:04:09.270 --> 00:04:12.800 getting ready to be a freshman. And she is a 00:04:12.800 --> 00:04:16.319 dancer and gymnastics. Well, not doing gymnastics 00:04:16.319 --> 00:04:21.160 anymore. Maddie is my sixth grader and she did 00:04:21.160 --> 00:04:24.259 online school for a little bit, but she thrives 00:04:24.259 --> 00:04:26.259 more in the school environment. So this year 00:04:26.259 --> 00:04:28.139 we had one in the middle school and one at the 00:04:28.139 --> 00:04:30.959 high school or one at home. Next year Mia's going 00:04:30.959 --> 00:04:34.779 to high school. And Maddie likes to do crafts 00:04:34.779 --> 00:04:38.759 and she ran track or she tried track and swimming. 00:04:40.509 --> 00:04:43.670 Yeah, they are just, we're lucky to have two 00:04:43.670 --> 00:04:45.829 little girls that are just, they are just sweet 00:04:45.829 --> 00:04:48.490 little girls. I mean, really. And then my husband, 00:04:48.529 --> 00:04:52.129 Mark, is a doctor at the hospital in our community. 00:04:52.129 --> 00:04:55.389 And he works full time. So that allows me to 00:04:55.389 --> 00:04:58.790 work part time. And we like to adventure together. 00:04:58.910 --> 00:05:01.670 We do a lot of stuff outside as far as like skiing, 00:05:01.829 --> 00:05:04.949 biking, hiking. But we really thrive in the winter. 00:05:04.990 --> 00:05:08.250 We love winters in the mountains of Colorado. 00:05:09.270 --> 00:05:11.189 I mean, if you're going to commit to living in 00:05:11.189 --> 00:05:12.970 the mountains, you have to love winter. Yeah. 00:05:13.430 --> 00:05:15.790 Because we still have snow in Summit County. 00:05:16.029 --> 00:05:20.149 Yeah. Down here in this area, if it snows on 00:05:20.149 --> 00:05:22.250 Tuesday, it could be gone by Wednesday. For you 00:05:22.250 --> 00:05:25.089 guys, if it snows in October, it's still there 00:05:25.089 --> 00:05:30.370 in June. Yep. It sure is. So your girls are 14 00:05:30.370 --> 00:05:34.209 and 11? Yep. What has been your favorite stage 00:05:34.209 --> 00:05:38.300 of motherhood so far? I know this is a hard question 00:05:38.300 --> 00:05:41.339 because I've loved it all. I love being a mom. 00:05:41.439 --> 00:05:43.579 It's just so fun. Even with the challenges, which 00:05:43.579 --> 00:05:46.779 honestly have not been a ton for us. Like I said, 00:05:46.800 --> 00:05:50.860 we've been very lucky to have just like, I don't 00:05:50.860 --> 00:05:53.100 know, easy kids. Not saying that there aren't 00:05:53.100 --> 00:05:56.860 moments, but all of it has really, each phase 00:05:56.860 --> 00:06:00.019 I have really embraced because, you know, someone 00:06:00.019 --> 00:06:02.300 once told me and I live by it, but it's like 00:06:02.300 --> 00:06:05.660 the days are long. But the years go by fast. 00:06:05.759 --> 00:06:07.480 But then I'm like, the days aren't even long. 00:06:07.620 --> 00:06:09.920 Like every day, like I was able to stay at home 00:06:09.920 --> 00:06:13.740 with my kids and work from home. And so I just 00:06:13.740 --> 00:06:18.680 like, I mean, it just sounds so like syrupy, 00:06:18.720 --> 00:06:21.040 but it's like I have loved it all because I just 00:06:21.040 --> 00:06:22.860 have always wanted to be a mom. I was a mom later 00:06:22.860 --> 00:06:28.100 in my life. I had kids at 38 and 40. So for me, 00:06:28.100 --> 00:06:31.199 it was, you know, a longing. And so when I finally 00:06:31.199 --> 00:06:33.310 was a mom, I was like. Yeah, I'm going to soak 00:06:33.310 --> 00:06:36.350 up every minute of it. That's awesome. So what's 00:06:36.350 --> 00:06:39.790 been the hardest stage then? Okay, that one. 00:06:40.230 --> 00:06:44.149 I'm in it right now. I think parenting tweens 00:06:44.149 --> 00:06:48.310 and a teen, like tweenager, right? Yeah, that's 00:06:48.310 --> 00:06:50.290 been the hardest so far. What's been challenging 00:06:50.290 --> 00:06:53.889 about it? You know, I think I prepared myself 00:06:53.889 --> 00:06:57.470 for the practical side of things. Like, oh, they're 00:06:57.470 --> 00:06:59.410 teenagers. They're going through hormones. They're 00:06:59.410 --> 00:07:02.470 going to have friend drama and boy drama. But 00:07:02.470 --> 00:07:04.389 I didn't prepare myself for like the heart part 00:07:04.389 --> 00:07:07.550 of it, which was like as a mom in this phase, 00:07:07.829 --> 00:07:10.350 you're starting to let go a little bit because 00:07:10.350 --> 00:07:12.149 they're, I mean, they were always becoming their 00:07:12.149 --> 00:07:13.730 own person, but more so they're more independent. 00:07:13.810 --> 00:07:16.209 They want to be with their friends more. And 00:07:16.209 --> 00:07:20.449 that has just like surprised me because I did 00:07:20.449 --> 00:07:23.329 not prepare for that. Like just the emotional 00:07:23.329 --> 00:07:29.089 starting to detach a little. Yeah, just the me 00:07:29.089 --> 00:07:31.649 stepping back so that they can step into who 00:07:31.649 --> 00:07:35.410 they are has just been more emotionally tough 00:07:35.410 --> 00:07:37.730 for me than I thought it would be. How do you 00:07:37.730 --> 00:07:40.029 think you've been handling that to not like, 00:07:40.110 --> 00:07:42.449 because I think you've worked with teens. I've 00:07:42.449 --> 00:07:44.089 also worked with teens. And I think one of the 00:07:44.089 --> 00:07:47.050 things I see a lot of times with parents of teenagers 00:07:47.050 --> 00:07:50.550 is that unwillingness to let go and go, oh, no, 00:07:50.629 --> 00:07:52.829 they do need independence. So how have you like 00:07:52.829 --> 00:07:56.120 kind of. wrestled with that and moved forward 00:07:56.120 --> 00:07:59.420 then like okay no my kids need to be their own 00:07:59.420 --> 00:08:02.879 person and I can't hold them tight like a baby 00:08:02.879 --> 00:08:07.040 forever yeah um I don't know if it's been well 00:08:07.040 --> 00:08:10.360 it's I'm intentional you know me so I've had 00:08:10.360 --> 00:08:14.420 to really like journal about it read about it 00:08:14.420 --> 00:08:19.100 and having that kind of in my head and having 00:08:19.100 --> 00:08:21.519 a having a little plan of like okay this is when 00:08:22.139 --> 00:08:23.560 I just need to not say anything, but I always 00:08:23.560 --> 00:08:26.319 say something. So even my saying something is 00:08:26.319 --> 00:08:28.800 just, I don't agree with you, but I love you. 00:08:28.899 --> 00:08:32.519 And tell me why. Like I've been more, I've been 00:08:32.519 --> 00:08:34.299 approaching it with curiosity. So if there's 00:08:34.299 --> 00:08:36.019 something that's different than what I would 00:08:36.019 --> 00:08:39.340 think or what I would want, then I ask them questions 00:08:39.340 --> 00:08:40.980 about it. I'm like, okay, well, why would you 00:08:40.980 --> 00:08:43.100 think that? Why would you do that? Like, help 00:08:43.100 --> 00:08:45.419 me understand. And, you know, that's what I do 00:08:45.419 --> 00:08:47.659 in my work with leadership development and personal 00:08:47.659 --> 00:08:49.340 development too, right? But it's hard to apply 00:08:49.340 --> 00:08:52.600 it to yourself, as always, and to your kids when 00:08:52.600 --> 00:08:55.779 your role is different. Your role is to parent 00:08:55.779 --> 00:08:58.740 them and be a mother. So that's that fine line 00:08:58.740 --> 00:09:00.720 of just like, you know, if I can pause enough 00:09:00.720 --> 00:09:03.740 to ask questions and be curious and then really 00:09:03.740 --> 00:09:06.210 respecting their boundaries. when they give me 00:09:06.210 --> 00:09:09.389 an answer that I don't want to hear. And then 00:09:09.389 --> 00:09:11.809 I have to honestly just pray and be like, okay, 00:09:11.850 --> 00:09:14.649 God, this is where I have to let go. And it's 00:09:14.649 --> 00:09:16.350 self -regulating, right? It's getting back to 00:09:16.350 --> 00:09:19.070 me and being like, literally just taking a deep 00:09:19.070 --> 00:09:23.409 breath and thinking that step back so they can 00:09:23.409 --> 00:09:27.350 step in. I've had to train myself. Yeah. No, 00:09:27.450 --> 00:09:31.210 that would be really hard for sure. So, I mean, 00:09:31.230 --> 00:09:34.320 you kind of answered this, but has been... Has 00:09:34.320 --> 00:09:38.679 parenting a teenager and a tween, has it been 00:09:38.679 --> 00:09:42.460 what you expected at all? Again, you have experience. 00:09:42.820 --> 00:09:45.259 So you were my youth group leader. You were a 00:09:45.259 --> 00:09:47.820 youth group leader before that and after that 00:09:47.820 --> 00:09:50.379 as well. So you've had a lot of years working 00:09:50.379 --> 00:09:52.639 with teenagers and teenage girls in particular. 00:09:53.240 --> 00:09:56.539 So do you feel like that prepared you or? Totally. 00:09:56.700 --> 00:09:59.940 It did? Yes, totally. It really did. But I would 00:09:59.940 --> 00:10:02.580 say I've seen it all. You know, I've seen the 00:10:02.580 --> 00:10:04.120 gamut because I've worked with a lot of girls, 00:10:04.240 --> 00:10:08.019 a lot of, but also I do my volunteer work. I'm 00:10:08.019 --> 00:10:10.399 a CASA volunteer. So for kids in the foster system. 00:10:10.460 --> 00:10:12.960 So I've also seen that extreme. So I've seen 00:10:12.960 --> 00:10:15.919 like extremes of like the good Christian kid 00:10:15.919 --> 00:10:19.279 that's like walking a straight narrow path to 00:10:19.279 --> 00:10:20.879 like the kid that's like ran away from home. 00:10:21.379 --> 00:10:24.580 And so I think my kids fall in between there. 00:10:24.779 --> 00:10:27.000 Well, maybe not even in the middle, maybe more 00:10:27.000 --> 00:10:29.379 towards like the straight narrow that it's almost 00:10:29.379 --> 00:10:32.320 because I've seen that. I am like pushing my 00:10:32.320 --> 00:10:35.019 kids more to just be like, break the rules, get 00:10:35.019 --> 00:10:38.799 outside the box. And I've told them, and I also 00:10:38.799 --> 00:10:42.639 know how I was as a teenager. And so I've told 00:10:42.639 --> 00:10:45.000 them those stories and they're like, oh my gosh, 00:10:45.019 --> 00:10:47.480 mom, we don't want to, like, why are you telling 00:10:47.480 --> 00:10:49.259 us that? You should not tell us that. Don't do 00:10:49.259 --> 00:10:52.059 that. Why'd you do that? And so because of my 00:10:52.059 --> 00:10:55.240 own experience of being a teen, but then working 00:10:55.240 --> 00:10:59.000 with teens, that has really prepared me, I think, 00:10:59.000 --> 00:11:01.669 for motherhood. Yeah, just because I've always 00:11:01.669 --> 00:11:04.149 – I learned from your moms. I mean, I would call 00:11:04.149 --> 00:11:07.470 them up. And they're like, we don't know. We're 00:11:07.470 --> 00:11:09.590 just – That's why we sent them to you is because 00:11:09.590 --> 00:11:13.389 we thought you knew. So, yeah, so all that has 00:11:13.389 --> 00:11:16.649 definitely prepared me. But like I said, I've 00:11:16.649 --> 00:11:19.049 seen the gamut. So like for me, it's like that's 00:11:19.049 --> 00:11:21.750 why this probably seems pretty easy to me. Yeah, 00:11:21.769 --> 00:11:25.309 for sure. So what has been the biggest challenge? 00:11:25.389 --> 00:11:27.110 I mean, again, you kind of already answered this, 00:11:27.149 --> 00:11:30.889 but for this specific season for you? I would 00:11:30.889 --> 00:11:34.970 say my marriage. So because you put so much time 00:11:34.970 --> 00:11:37.750 into your kids and, you know, Mark and I have 00:11:37.750 --> 00:11:41.149 always had a lot of similar values and raised 00:11:41.149 --> 00:11:42.750 our kids the same and agreed on a lot of things. 00:11:42.789 --> 00:11:45.970 But then this is where dad is a little more like, 00:11:46.190 --> 00:11:49.529 yeah, he's able to let go easier than I am. And 00:11:49.529 --> 00:11:52.730 so we're seeing some differences in how we approach 00:11:52.730 --> 00:11:55.850 that. But I feel like we can honor those differences. 00:11:55.990 --> 00:11:57.509 I don't know if he, well, maybe he doesn't see 00:11:57.509 --> 00:12:01.799 some of my emotional. side of things. But then, 00:12:02.039 --> 00:12:04.980 you know, caring for your marriage and finding 00:12:04.980 --> 00:12:07.299 that, making that a priority has been hard for 00:12:07.299 --> 00:12:10.139 us. Has that always been hard or is that new 00:12:10.139 --> 00:12:13.059 in this season? That's always been hard for us, 00:12:13.059 --> 00:12:15.559 actually, you know, but I think this is highlighting 00:12:15.559 --> 00:12:18.539 it now. Sure. Yeah. I mean, if you're already 00:12:18.539 --> 00:12:21.200 having a hard time with anything, marriage, anything 00:12:21.200 --> 00:12:24.309 else, right? Then if you go through a tough season, 00:12:24.389 --> 00:12:27.330 that highlights it. That's just how life works. 00:12:27.870 --> 00:12:31.210 What are some things that you've done to kind 00:12:31.210 --> 00:12:34.649 of work on that? And I mean, maybe not fix it, 00:12:34.750 --> 00:12:38.730 but try to correct it. Well, you know, there's 00:12:38.730 --> 00:12:40.909 always been the traditional therapy, but to me, 00:12:40.929 --> 00:12:42.830 talk therapy is also talk therapy. You still 00:12:42.830 --> 00:12:45.409 have to like go and do the work. And so for me 00:12:45.409 --> 00:12:48.509 personally, I've done a lot of heart work of 00:12:48.509 --> 00:12:53.580 just like healing my own heart. So for me, it's 00:12:53.580 --> 00:12:56.740 a lot of just my own heart journey and bringing 00:12:56.740 --> 00:12:58.879 my heart to God and being like, okay, what do 00:12:58.879 --> 00:13:00.980 you want to teach me during this season? And 00:13:00.980 --> 00:13:04.639 that's hard. It's hard to see the light shine 00:13:04.639 --> 00:13:07.039 on those places when you're open. You're like, 00:13:07.159 --> 00:13:10.460 okay, here I am in my brokenness. But I think 00:13:10.460 --> 00:13:13.299 that, I will say that is the only thing that 00:13:13.299 --> 00:13:16.500 brings me to my knees is my marriage. And so 00:13:16.500 --> 00:13:19.299 everything else is so great. Everything is really 00:13:19.299 --> 00:13:23.990 good. my marriage calls me to God and God's like, 00:13:24.070 --> 00:13:26.070 I'm still working on you through your marriage. 00:13:26.230 --> 00:13:29.070 And so it's easy to point the finger at Mark 00:13:29.070 --> 00:13:33.750 and I'm guilty of that. But I think just doing 00:13:33.750 --> 00:13:36.830 my own heart work and going to God and just not 00:13:36.830 --> 00:13:40.330 only has that helped me get through those hard 00:13:40.330 --> 00:13:43.210 times, but I want my kids to see me doing that. 00:13:43.600 --> 00:13:46.720 I want them to see where I get my strength. And 00:13:46.720 --> 00:13:49.779 even though we're not always getting along, that 00:13:49.779 --> 00:13:52.879 I can still have joy in my life. I can still 00:13:52.879 --> 00:13:58.220 go to God in prayer and just have him refuel 00:13:58.220 --> 00:14:01.480 me. I think that's so important, too, to see 00:14:01.480 --> 00:14:04.860 as a kid, to see your parent trying to work on 00:14:04.860 --> 00:14:07.480 themselves. I think as a parent, it's super easy 00:14:07.480 --> 00:14:10.610 to... want to fall into the i'm gonna pretend 00:14:10.610 --> 00:14:14.470 that i'm perfect oh i haven't for they know for 00:14:14.470 --> 00:14:18.549 my kids um yeah so it's super easy to fall into 00:14:18.549 --> 00:14:20.850 that like i'm gonna pretend that like i don't 00:14:20.850 --> 00:14:22.669 need to fix myself and then that turns toxic 00:14:22.669 --> 00:14:25.110 super quickly right because we all do need to 00:14:25.110 --> 00:14:28.070 fix ourselves we all do have issues so especially 00:14:28.070 --> 00:14:33.909 as tween girls to see a mom go no like these 00:14:33.909 --> 00:14:37.460 are the things that i am working on to fix my 00:14:37.460 --> 00:14:41.259 marriage or just to fix myself and be a more 00:14:41.259 --> 00:14:42.919 complete person and be the person that I'm supposed 00:14:42.919 --> 00:14:46.320 to be. Yeah. And that has been powerful as a 00:14:46.320 --> 00:14:49.320 mom too, to just admit that to your kids, right? 00:14:49.379 --> 00:14:53.159 To just say, oh, I'm sorry. Like, you know, and 00:14:53.159 --> 00:14:55.139 apologize to your kids because I'm like, I don't 00:14:55.139 --> 00:14:56.639 know what to say there. And I was being really 00:14:56.639 --> 00:14:59.879 protective in that situation. And I don't know, 00:14:59.980 --> 00:15:02.019 you know, maybe if I would have done it differently, 00:15:02.120 --> 00:15:05.539 I would have not. stepped in or whatever it is 00:15:05.539 --> 00:15:08.740 you know but just to say I'm sorry to them when 00:15:08.740 --> 00:15:12.159 I did something out of like my reaction yeah 00:15:12.159 --> 00:15:14.399 I've been trying to get in the habit of that 00:15:14.399 --> 00:15:16.620 of course Lloyd isn't like super communicating 00:15:16.620 --> 00:15:19.919 yet he has some words but when I like there are 00:15:19.919 --> 00:15:21.700 times I yell at him and respond in ways that 00:15:21.700 --> 00:15:23.440 I'm like I wish I hadn't responded like that 00:15:23.440 --> 00:15:25.799 I've been trying to like get in that habit now 00:15:25.799 --> 00:15:29.820 for you know the next lifetime that we have together 00:15:29.820 --> 00:15:33.460 and for you know zeta and future kids yeah i'm 00:15:33.460 --> 00:15:36.679 sorry i shouldn't have yelled at you for x y 00:15:36.679 --> 00:15:39.259 or z i shouldn't have responded in that way yeah 00:15:39.259 --> 00:15:40.919 because i think that is important and so many 00:15:40.919 --> 00:15:42.940 people have never heard an apology from their 00:15:42.940 --> 00:15:45.580 parents i know i don't think i ever did right 00:15:45.580 --> 00:15:47.820 like yeah growing up i just yeah you don't hear 00:15:47.820 --> 00:15:50.259 that yeah that's just how it is so what's been 00:15:50.259 --> 00:15:54.179 the biggest joy in the season then oh you know 00:15:54.840 --> 00:15:58.840 Just as it's been hard to let them step into 00:15:58.840 --> 00:16:02.639 their own personalities and their own little 00:16:02.639 --> 00:16:06.259 adulthood, it's also been a total joy to see 00:16:06.259 --> 00:16:08.779 things that are like, oh, wow, they just really 00:16:08.779 --> 00:16:14.600 thrive in that quiet space. Or they love finding 00:16:14.600 --> 00:16:17.299 their joys, whatever it is, whether it's baking 00:16:17.299 --> 00:16:21.360 or dancing or swimming or just creating or doing 00:16:21.360 --> 00:16:25.129 crafts or just having solitude time. that has 00:16:25.129 --> 00:16:28.529 been a joy to see them just exploring that. But 00:16:28.529 --> 00:16:30.730 in a way, like when they were little, it was 00:16:30.730 --> 00:16:31.909 like they were just trying all these things. 00:16:31.990 --> 00:16:35.250 But now they are like forming habits that are 00:16:35.250 --> 00:16:37.330 like I can see and like, oh, they're going to 00:16:37.330 --> 00:16:39.169 do that for life, whether it's like journaling 00:16:39.169 --> 00:16:41.799 or like. we've been doing this year, we've been 00:16:41.799 --> 00:16:44.200 doing a family devotional, me and the girls, 00:16:44.259 --> 00:16:47.299 and just them like taking ownership and being 00:16:47.299 --> 00:16:48.840 like, oh, do you want to do devotional time? 00:16:48.960 --> 00:16:51.019 Because we try to do it on Sundays. So for them 00:16:51.019 --> 00:16:54.019 to grab the Bible or grab their devotional book 00:16:54.019 --> 00:16:56.980 or be highlighting something in the Bible or 00:16:56.980 --> 00:17:00.360 wanting to go to youth group, that part of it 00:17:00.360 --> 00:17:04.960 is like, yeah, these are like habits for life. 00:17:05.960 --> 00:17:08.640 How have you leaned into that as a mom of just 00:17:08.640 --> 00:17:12.039 like seeing them? pick up these things that are 00:17:12.039 --> 00:17:14.819 actual interests and actual habits and encourage 00:17:14.819 --> 00:17:18.000 the good ones and yeah maybe even try to discourage 00:17:18.000 --> 00:17:20.039 some that yeah you don't want that habit for 00:17:20.039 --> 00:17:22.640 life i also don't want to be like super excited 00:17:22.640 --> 00:17:24.539 because sometimes i know i can be too much you 00:17:24.539 --> 00:17:26.400 know so if i make it too big a deal then they're 00:17:26.400 --> 00:17:29.170 gonna be like okay, mom, you know? So I'm just 00:17:29.170 --> 00:17:31.269 like, I just tell them how it makes me feel. 00:17:31.349 --> 00:17:32.950 You know, I'm like, oh, that makes me really 00:17:32.950 --> 00:17:35.230 happy to see you guys just owning that yourself 00:17:35.230 --> 00:17:38.569 and wanting to go to youth group or just when 00:17:38.569 --> 00:17:40.369 a friend invites you to do something and you're 00:17:40.369 --> 00:17:43.089 just like, no, I don't feel like it. And I'm 00:17:43.089 --> 00:17:44.829 like, oh, really? Why not? You know, I want to 00:17:44.829 --> 00:17:46.430 ask like, why not? Don't you want to go with 00:17:46.430 --> 00:17:48.029 your friend and go to the pool after school? 00:17:48.349 --> 00:17:50.990 And she's like, no, I'm good. You know, like 00:17:50.990 --> 00:17:53.529 I have to just be like, you know, I love that 00:17:53.529 --> 00:17:56.920 you. Can say no to things, you know, and so just 00:17:56.920 --> 00:17:59.400 it's in the little things like that, just being 00:17:59.400 --> 00:18:02.579 able to say no and protect their own time or 00:18:02.579 --> 00:18:04.900 their own headspace or, you know, Maddie's an 00:18:04.900 --> 00:18:07.160 introvert, which leads to another thing, right? 00:18:07.460 --> 00:18:10.960 Quigley and those books and just empowering her 00:18:10.960 --> 00:18:14.619 to be her that is different from me is really 00:18:14.619 --> 00:18:16.720 hard for me. Yeah, because you are not introverted. 00:18:16.900 --> 00:18:22.599 No. And so that has been a joy because it's not 00:18:22.599 --> 00:18:26.410 like she's a mini me. It has really been seeing 00:18:26.410 --> 00:18:30.650 her just like bloom into her own person. That's 00:18:30.650 --> 00:18:33.950 super cool. So what has changed for you as your 00:18:33.950 --> 00:18:37.609 girls have grown just from being like an all 00:18:37.609 --> 00:18:39.549 in mom, because when they're little kids, that's 00:18:39.549 --> 00:18:41.329 what they need to letting them go a little bit. 00:18:41.329 --> 00:18:43.990 Like what has, how has that changed you? I guess. 00:18:44.130 --> 00:18:48.240 Yeah. You know, because I did. a life plan. Do 00:18:48.240 --> 00:18:49.960 you remember all that when I did life plan? So 00:18:49.960 --> 00:18:52.319 it's like a strategic plan for your life. I know 00:18:52.319 --> 00:18:56.539 it sounds so like rigid and so, but like my life 00:18:56.539 --> 00:18:59.019 purpose is to inspire others to be their personal 00:18:59.019 --> 00:19:03.619 best and to bring out, um, yeah, their giftedness. 00:19:03.640 --> 00:19:06.700 And so, um, I've done that in the different life 00:19:06.700 --> 00:19:08.859 domains since they were babies, you know, like, 00:19:08.920 --> 00:19:11.839 so personally for me, that means the work that 00:19:11.839 --> 00:19:13.660 I do, which is that personal professional leadership 00:19:13.660 --> 00:19:15.539 development. I've been able to work part time 00:19:15.539 --> 00:19:18.960 and have my own business. In my community life, 00:19:19.180 --> 00:19:22.559 it's serving the community as an advocate, but 00:19:22.559 --> 00:19:25.319 also as a CASA volunteer for kids in the court 00:19:25.319 --> 00:19:29.640 system. In my family, it's been caring for my 00:19:29.640 --> 00:19:31.599 family and just inspiring them to be who they 00:19:31.599 --> 00:19:36.460 are to be. And so I've really always made sure 00:19:36.460 --> 00:19:40.519 I was living my intention and my purpose. in 00:19:40.519 --> 00:19:43.420 all my stages of motherhood. And so now that 00:19:43.420 --> 00:19:45.660 I feel like they need me a little less, I can 00:19:45.660 --> 00:19:49.240 lean more into my career. And so, and it's naturally 00:19:49.240 --> 00:19:50.559 just happening. So this is where I feel like 00:19:50.559 --> 00:19:52.680 things are in alignment because it's like, now 00:19:52.680 --> 00:19:54.259 that they're not needing less, I'm like, I need 00:19:54.259 --> 00:19:57.720 to start working some more. And naturally, like 00:19:57.720 --> 00:19:59.720 the work is just coming, or maybe not naturally, 00:19:59.779 --> 00:20:02.539 organically, because I did plant seeds, you know, 00:20:02.539 --> 00:20:05.480 last year, and now those are coming to fruition. 00:20:05.480 --> 00:20:08.380 And so because I was intentional about like, 00:20:08.990 --> 00:20:10.809 my life purpose and just staying in alignment 00:20:10.809 --> 00:20:13.390 with that and self -checking along the way. I 00:20:13.390 --> 00:20:15.549 think that's helped me be a mom through all the 00:20:15.549 --> 00:20:18.650 different stages. That's really cool. Yeah. I 00:20:18.650 --> 00:20:20.930 think, I know I have one friend I've talked to 00:20:20.930 --> 00:20:23.269 about how easy it is to lose yourself in motherhood 00:20:23.269 --> 00:20:25.470 because you love your kids, especially if you 00:20:25.470 --> 00:20:30.049 do love being a mom, it's all consuming. And 00:20:30.049 --> 00:20:31.910 when I was talking to this friend, I was like, 00:20:31.930 --> 00:20:36.640 I totally get how a mom could get to you know 00:20:36.640 --> 00:20:39.200 graduation day and all of a sudden not know what 00:20:39.200 --> 00:20:40.940 to do with their life because they've spent their 00:20:40.940 --> 00:20:44.640 entire life taking care of their kids which is 00:20:44.640 --> 00:20:46.799 a noble thing you know that's not like obviously 00:20:46.799 --> 00:20:49.900 I love being a mom I have a podcast about it 00:20:49.900 --> 00:20:53.700 but that's super cool to see like from your perspective 00:20:53.700 --> 00:20:57.579 this like well you know work maybe was a little 00:20:57.579 --> 00:21:00.000 bit less important for certain seasons and now 00:21:00.000 --> 00:21:03.980 I can naturally make it more important um And, 00:21:04.019 --> 00:21:06.940 you know, focus on other things outside of motherhood 00:21:06.940 --> 00:21:09.759 in a healthy way. Yeah. And it's, and it helps 00:21:09.759 --> 00:21:11.460 when you have a partner who supports that. Like 00:21:11.460 --> 00:21:14.200 Mark is about self -care and, you know, so when 00:21:14.200 --> 00:21:17.059 I do it, he fully supports it. I think that's, 00:21:17.059 --> 00:21:20.900 that's huge, right? That helps you, but it doesn't 00:21:20.900 --> 00:21:22.279 mean you still don't lose yourself and your kids 00:21:22.279 --> 00:21:23.720 sometimes. And you're like, okay, because your 00:21:23.720 --> 00:21:25.460 heart, so this is the difference though. Yeah. 00:21:25.519 --> 00:21:28.339 I may self -care and like, you know, do my exercise, 00:21:28.500 --> 00:21:30.819 go on a hike, hang out with friends, but that 00:21:30.819 --> 00:21:34.390 heart piece is a different. thing than just all 00:21:34.390 --> 00:21:36.029 those external things, right? There's still the 00:21:36.029 --> 00:21:38.750 heart piece of self -care. And I remember doing 00:21:38.750 --> 00:21:42.529 a talk at Mops when I had little ones, you know, 00:21:42.549 --> 00:21:46.769 and it was about self -care. And I remember the 00:21:46.769 --> 00:21:48.910 logo I used was self -care isn't selfish, but 00:21:48.910 --> 00:21:50.589 so many moms, like for me, it was easy to talk 00:21:50.589 --> 00:21:51.990 about. I was like, yeah, I can do this. And this 00:21:51.990 --> 00:21:54.670 is what I do. I set aside time for myself and 00:21:54.670 --> 00:21:58.900 my friends. And a lot of moms were like. wow, 00:21:59.140 --> 00:22:01.940 like they feel guilty for it. So I never really 00:22:01.940 --> 00:22:03.559 felt guilty. And again, that comes back to having 00:22:03.559 --> 00:22:07.420 a partner who doesn't expect me just to only 00:22:07.420 --> 00:22:09.799 be in that role, but supports me and my self 00:22:09.799 --> 00:22:12.920 -care too. Yeah, that's awesome. What are some 00:22:12.920 --> 00:22:14.660 things that you personally do for self -care? 00:22:15.319 --> 00:22:17.700 Girlfriend time, other moms. I mean, that is 00:22:17.700 --> 00:22:19.019 huge. That's why I love that you're doing this 00:22:19.019 --> 00:22:21.690 podcast because I think just having that. network 00:22:21.690 --> 00:22:24.690 of moms to do it, like even phases of life with, 00:22:24.789 --> 00:22:26.970 but I also have moms that have older kids. I 00:22:26.970 --> 00:22:29.230 think I called your mom at some point when, when 00:22:29.230 --> 00:22:30.970 I, when you guys were little. And then even like 00:22:30.970 --> 00:22:33.730 having people that are like, you can pour into 00:22:33.730 --> 00:22:36.589 too. So still, you know, doing my advocacy and 00:22:36.589 --> 00:22:38.390 my volunteer work. I think I did reach out to 00:22:38.390 --> 00:22:41.130 you guys a few years ago and I was like, okay, 00:22:41.230 --> 00:22:44.839 my kids are entering the phase that. I entered 00:22:44.839 --> 00:22:47.240 with you guys in junior high. And I remember 00:22:47.240 --> 00:22:48.720 that you were like, we're going to have to talk 00:22:48.720 --> 00:22:52.400 about sex. Yep. So what did your parents do that 00:22:52.400 --> 00:22:55.759 ruined it and what did they do well? Yeah. And 00:22:55.759 --> 00:22:58.319 so having just like not being afraid to talk 00:22:58.319 --> 00:23:00.920 about those kind of things. But also, so yeah, 00:23:00.980 --> 00:23:03.380 back to the self -care thing. So having people, 00:23:03.519 --> 00:23:06.059 other women who understand, who've been there, 00:23:06.240 --> 00:23:08.940 who have not been there, but were in that stage. 00:23:09.119 --> 00:23:12.359 But I also do like, you know, just physical exercise. 00:23:12.359 --> 00:23:14.519 So I always think, This is part of the life plan, 00:23:14.599 --> 00:23:16.759 physical, intellectual, emotional, spiritual, 00:23:16.980 --> 00:23:20.000 pies. So physically, you know, exercise. I also 00:23:20.000 --> 00:23:22.619 teach fitness classes at the rec center. So that's 00:23:22.619 --> 00:23:25.380 for me like just that physical piece of getting 00:23:25.380 --> 00:23:28.640 outside, biking, hiking, skiing, whatever. And 00:23:28.640 --> 00:23:30.680 then intellectual, like that's my career piece 00:23:30.680 --> 00:23:33.400 usually, like always learning and whether I'm 00:23:33.400 --> 00:23:35.539 in the word or whether I'm taking a new online 00:23:35.539 --> 00:23:38.859 course. I need to feed my mind, not just mommy 00:23:38.859 --> 00:23:41.220 stuff. Because of course I read mommyhood books, 00:23:41.339 --> 00:23:43.900 but there's also just regular books that I love 00:23:43.900 --> 00:23:46.619 to read too. Emotionally, just that self -care 00:23:46.619 --> 00:23:48.519 piece. I told you I did a lot of heart work around 00:23:48.519 --> 00:23:51.460 like I've been doing for the past year and a 00:23:51.460 --> 00:23:53.279 half now, like sound bowls and sound healing 00:23:53.279 --> 00:23:56.440 stuff. Okay. And like chakra and essential oils 00:23:56.440 --> 00:24:00.039 kind of stuff. And yeah, being married to Mark, 00:24:00.079 --> 00:24:01.539 he's like, yeah, I didn't learn that in med school. 00:24:01.619 --> 00:24:04.539 But I'm like, hey, it's working for me. I always 00:24:04.539 --> 00:24:07.299 think it's so funny. You being married to a doctor 00:24:07.299 --> 00:24:11.019 just because being a doctor is very traditional 00:24:11.019 --> 00:24:13.880 medicine and you've always been a little bit 00:24:13.880 --> 00:24:16.240 hippie, you know? Thanks, thanks. I take that 00:24:16.240 --> 00:24:19.039 as a compliment. Good. So it's just that duality 00:24:19.039 --> 00:24:21.400 is really funny to me. Yeah. And it comes out 00:24:21.400 --> 00:24:23.779 too. And so sometimes it's like, he's like, okay, 00:24:23.900 --> 00:24:26.440 if that works for you, you know? So yeah, that 00:24:26.440 --> 00:24:28.099 emotional piece and then the spiritual piece 00:24:28.099 --> 00:24:31.059 of just, and you go in phases here. There's times 00:24:31.059 --> 00:24:33.119 where you're like. I don't have time to open 00:24:33.119 --> 00:24:35.859 my Bible or go into the Word. Or who do I deal 00:24:35.859 --> 00:24:39.000 with? You have different seasons of friends and 00:24:39.000 --> 00:24:41.500 community, and I didn't have that. I don't have 00:24:41.500 --> 00:24:43.779 time for a Bible study. That's one thing I think 00:24:43.779 --> 00:24:46.740 people don't talk about with motherhood, especially 00:24:46.740 --> 00:24:49.980 in the Christian community where it's like, I 00:24:49.980 --> 00:24:51.619 know people who say like, you need to read the 00:24:51.619 --> 00:24:54.200 Bible every day before breakfast and before you 00:24:54.200 --> 00:24:56.420 go to bed. And I'm like, I would love to do that. 00:24:56.559 --> 00:24:58.740 That's not realistic. It's not going to happen. 00:24:59.000 --> 00:25:02.839 For me, that's changed. I found a podcast that 00:25:02.839 --> 00:25:05.019 goes through Bible stories and kind of dissects 00:25:05.019 --> 00:25:06.940 them. And that's made all the difference because 00:25:06.940 --> 00:25:09.019 I'm like, I can do that. And listen. Yeah, I 00:25:09.019 --> 00:25:11.539 can listen to it while I'm doing dishes or while 00:25:11.539 --> 00:25:13.680 I'm playing with Lloyd, all that versus like 00:25:13.680 --> 00:25:16.160 trying to do it. And then again, Bible study 00:25:16.160 --> 00:25:18.920 is another thing where... You know, it's like, 00:25:18.960 --> 00:25:20.599 you're supposed to do this. You're supposed to, 00:25:20.599 --> 00:25:25.220 like, one night a week. That's a lot for when 00:25:25.220 --> 00:25:27.519 you have two little kids and are married and 00:25:27.519 --> 00:25:29.920 trying to keep everything together. And sometimes 00:25:29.920 --> 00:25:32.160 you want to be there. Like, even though, you 00:25:32.160 --> 00:25:33.339 know, you're like, I know this will be good for 00:25:33.339 --> 00:25:35.940 me, but I want to be there. And so, yeah, I think 00:25:35.940 --> 00:25:38.339 giving yourself grace around that, too. Like, 00:25:38.380 --> 00:25:40.359 it just looks different. You know, it might be 00:25:40.359 --> 00:25:42.079 a podcast. It might be while you're doing dishes, 00:25:42.279 --> 00:25:45.180 you know. I mean, that's super cool to just hear 00:25:45.180 --> 00:25:48.880 your side of knowing that it changes and being 00:25:48.880 --> 00:25:50.680 a new mom. That's super encouraging too, to be 00:25:50.680 --> 00:25:52.819 like, okay, I'm not doing things wrong. Yeah. 00:25:52.880 --> 00:25:55.059 And nowadays there's so many tools, right? There's 00:25:55.059 --> 00:25:57.460 podcasts. There's like, sometimes I'm like, oh, 00:25:57.619 --> 00:26:00.059 I just need to listen to the Bible. You know, 00:26:00.059 --> 00:26:01.859 so I just, there's an audio thing and you can 00:26:01.859 --> 00:26:03.599 listen to it, you know? And then I'm like, I 00:26:03.599 --> 00:26:05.579 didn't know what I just listened to. So now I'm 00:26:05.579 --> 00:26:09.869 going to read it. What is something that you've 00:26:09.869 --> 00:26:12.450 found yourself looking forward to as you watch 00:26:12.450 --> 00:26:16.829 your girls grow up? Walking alongside them in 00:26:16.829 --> 00:26:19.970 this next phase and just like discovering with 00:26:19.970 --> 00:26:22.170 them. Like, cause you know, you think you have 00:26:22.170 --> 00:26:24.269 this vision of the track they're going to take, 00:26:24.269 --> 00:26:26.430 but like, I don't know. I want to just, as they 00:26:26.430 --> 00:26:30.220 discover themselves, like I'm excited to. hear 00:26:30.220 --> 00:26:32.279 what that is like i'm like sitting here like 00:26:32.279 --> 00:26:34.859 in anticipation you know um like even i think 00:26:34.859 --> 00:26:37.200 about with you girls i was like oh she's gonna 00:26:37.200 --> 00:26:38.960 be a veterinarian oh she's gonna be you know 00:26:38.960 --> 00:26:40.759 like you can yeah because you see their passions 00:26:40.759 --> 00:26:43.240 brewing and but to see what they actually do 00:26:43.240 --> 00:26:45.579 with that is exciting and so i have to just kind 00:26:45.579 --> 00:26:49.740 of sit back and like watch patiently yeah and 00:26:49.740 --> 00:26:53.059 encourage when you can and yeah and and know 00:26:53.059 --> 00:26:55.690 when to be discerning of like Oh, like when you, 00:26:55.730 --> 00:26:57.250 maybe they make a choice that you don't agree 00:26:57.250 --> 00:27:00.190 with. Like that's going to be hard for me. But 00:27:00.190 --> 00:27:02.109 that's where I have to just get back to that 00:27:02.109 --> 00:27:03.970 trusting and like, yeah, this is their journey. 00:27:04.009 --> 00:27:08.150 And this is. How do you, this is not in our questions, 00:27:08.210 --> 00:27:10.049 but this is something that I've kind of just, 00:27:10.150 --> 00:27:14.490 again, having worked with teens and now being 00:27:14.490 --> 00:27:17.490 a parent that I've thought of is so, and we kind 00:27:17.490 --> 00:27:19.109 of talked about this earlier, is being a parent 00:27:19.109 --> 00:27:22.390 is really like helping your kid learn to be a 00:27:22.390 --> 00:27:25.440 human and getting them ready to. launch and be 00:27:25.440 --> 00:27:28.180 an adult and I think is with little kids that's 00:27:28.180 --> 00:27:30.099 a lot easier to remember because you're teaching 00:27:30.099 --> 00:27:31.779 them the fun things you're teaching them to walk 00:27:31.779 --> 00:27:34.220 and talk and you know it's really cute when they 00:27:34.220 --> 00:27:36.420 mispronounce words at two years old that's adorable 00:27:36.420 --> 00:27:38.680 and then you know you get to teach them to ride 00:27:38.680 --> 00:27:40.960 a bike and that's adorable and so when they're 00:27:40.960 --> 00:27:44.519 little it's like the fun things of learning to 00:27:44.519 --> 00:27:47.339 be a human and then you get to teenage years 00:27:47.339 --> 00:27:49.599 and all of a sudden it's honestly the scary things 00:27:49.599 --> 00:27:54.390 of learning to be a human of and you're going 00:27:54.390 --> 00:27:57.089 to have to teach them to drive. And teaching 00:27:57.089 --> 00:27:58.710 them to drive is a lot scarier than teaching 00:27:58.710 --> 00:28:02.230 them to walk because if they hit something, it 00:28:02.230 --> 00:28:03.910 could be deadly instead of just like, oh, you 00:28:03.910 --> 00:28:08.269 got a bonk on the head. So going back to what 00:28:08.269 --> 00:28:10.089 I've observed, I think a lot of parents have 00:28:10.089 --> 00:28:12.910 a hard time. It's almost like they assume that 00:28:12.910 --> 00:28:15.759 their kids already know how to do this. Because 00:28:15.759 --> 00:28:18.940 they have some independence. But it's like, no, 00:28:19.000 --> 00:28:20.900 they've never experienced peer pressure in this 00:28:20.900 --> 00:28:23.900 capacity before. Or they've never had a boy break 00:28:23.900 --> 00:28:27.660 their heart before or whatever. So how do you 00:28:27.660 --> 00:28:33.980 still coach them and still be a parent of guiding 00:28:33.980 --> 00:28:37.619 them with those challenges while also not being 00:28:37.619 --> 00:28:40.220 overbearing and not treating them like they're 00:28:40.220 --> 00:28:42.700 a little kid? they need to have that independence 00:28:42.700 --> 00:28:45.720 in order to learn these things. Yeah. But again, 00:28:45.799 --> 00:28:47.099 they're a lot bigger and they're a lot scarier. 00:28:47.119 --> 00:28:49.319 So it's harder to... The consequences are bigger. 00:28:49.420 --> 00:28:52.640 Right. Yeah. Yeah. I would say, I remember reading 00:28:52.640 --> 00:28:55.460 a book, a parenting book when they were little, 00:28:55.480 --> 00:29:00.039 and it was about discipline and about like, but 00:29:00.039 --> 00:29:02.059 what I remember the takeaway was like, you know, 00:29:02.079 --> 00:29:04.140 you can discipline them and be pretty strict 00:29:04.140 --> 00:29:07.180 on them if they know that they are loved. And 00:29:07.180 --> 00:29:10.799 so a big thing for me has always been to lead 00:29:10.799 --> 00:29:12.900 with love, like no matter what we're talking 00:29:12.900 --> 00:29:15.880 about, this is a hard subject, but I love you. 00:29:16.259 --> 00:29:20.059 And more about not just every little incident 00:29:20.059 --> 00:29:22.359 that happens, but more the bigger picture of 00:29:22.359 --> 00:29:25.980 like your values of like, are we instilling making 00:29:25.980 --> 00:29:28.519 good choices? Are you being kind? Are you respecting 00:29:28.519 --> 00:29:33.160 people? And so you hope that that comes up for 00:29:33.160 --> 00:29:35.740 them when they are in peer pressure, when they... 00:29:35.920 --> 00:29:37.880 get their heart broken, that they remember those, 00:29:37.880 --> 00:29:40.859 those guiding principles or those like overarching 00:29:40.859 --> 00:29:44.119 values. Yeah. That's just off the top of my head 00:29:44.119 --> 00:29:46.539 what I'm thinking of, of like, yeah, cause we've 00:29:46.539 --> 00:29:48.099 gone through some like hard decisions or hard 00:29:48.099 --> 00:29:50.339 conversations and I'm just like, well, you know, 00:29:50.359 --> 00:29:51.759 the important thing is there that you were kind 00:29:51.759 --> 00:29:55.680 or you responded and you stood up for yourself. 00:29:55.779 --> 00:29:58.019 And so you were, you were sticking to your principles. 00:29:58.940 --> 00:30:00.980 And so it's more like, I guess that's the philosophical 00:30:00.980 --> 00:30:05.359 side of things, right? Is the values. And not, 00:30:05.460 --> 00:30:08.359 so when they do do those things, I guess when 00:30:08.359 --> 00:30:11.539 they do make good choices, it's reinforcing those 00:30:11.539 --> 00:30:14.079 things. Not always just like having that conversation 00:30:14.079 --> 00:30:17.319 when it's a hard, bad thing. Yeah, that makes 00:30:17.319 --> 00:30:20.799 sense. So a lot of setting just like a good foundation 00:30:20.799 --> 00:30:25.099 when you can. And that starts, and those are 00:30:25.099 --> 00:30:27.559 even like your values, right? like you and your 00:30:27.559 --> 00:30:30.319 husband have raising kids. And it starts at a 00:30:30.319 --> 00:30:32.420 very young age because it's just who you guys 00:30:32.420 --> 00:30:34.720 are. But then you create these family values 00:30:34.720 --> 00:30:38.180 too. And so to really just, you know, like for 00:30:38.180 --> 00:30:41.240 us, family time, we enjoy family time and we 00:30:41.240 --> 00:30:43.759 do family trips. And my friends sometimes are 00:30:43.759 --> 00:30:45.460 like, oh my gosh, you spent four weeks with your 00:30:45.460 --> 00:30:47.160 family. How'd that go? And I'm like, it was so 00:30:47.160 --> 00:30:48.779 great. Like we enjoy spending time together. 00:30:49.099 --> 00:30:51.900 Or people will say, oh, spend time with them 00:30:51.900 --> 00:30:53.079 now because when they're teenagers, they're not 00:30:53.079 --> 00:30:55.539 going to spend time with you. And, you know. 00:30:56.200 --> 00:31:00.799 One time, Mia said she was doing a lot with her 00:31:00.799 --> 00:31:01.740 friends, and she was figuring things out. She 00:31:01.740 --> 00:31:03.599 was like, well, Daddy's been at work all week, 00:31:03.619 --> 00:31:05.400 and we haven't really done anything as a family, 00:31:05.420 --> 00:31:07.059 so I don't know if I want to go. And I was like, 00:31:07.160 --> 00:31:11.779 oh, wow. It's working. Wow. You just celebrate 00:31:11.779 --> 00:31:13.440 that. And I'm like, oh, I love that you said 00:31:13.440 --> 00:31:15.640 that, but if you really want to go, we spend 00:31:15.640 --> 00:31:19.000 a lot of time together, and we can make sure 00:31:19.000 --> 00:31:22.380 we do that. You don't want to miss his birthday 00:31:22.380 --> 00:31:24.140 party or whatever it is. Right. You know, if 00:31:24.140 --> 00:31:25.480 it's just like they're hanging out, that's another 00:31:25.480 --> 00:31:27.339 thing. But just the fact that she recognized 00:31:27.339 --> 00:31:31.220 that and valued that, it gives them like, I guess, 00:31:31.240 --> 00:31:34.279 I feel like I can give them a longer leash when 00:31:34.279 --> 00:31:36.700 I know that they're going to or try to at least 00:31:36.700 --> 00:31:39.420 make good choices. Right. They do prioritize 00:31:39.420 --> 00:31:41.700 family time. They do, you know, and so when those 00:31:41.700 --> 00:31:44.440 things are there, it is easier to let them. For 00:31:44.440 --> 00:31:47.339 sure. Do their thing. Yeah. Yeah, that makes 00:31:47.339 --> 00:31:50.319 sense. So what is something that you wish you 00:31:50.319 --> 00:31:53.359 had been told about parenting for this stage 00:31:53.359 --> 00:31:57.740 before you got to it? I would say it kind of 00:31:57.740 --> 00:32:01.799 goes back to the whole like emotional heart strings 00:32:01.799 --> 00:32:04.920 thing. Like you hear about like, you know, people 00:32:04.920 --> 00:32:06.880 empty nesting, right? So you hear about they're 00:32:06.880 --> 00:32:08.619 preparing for that and they're ready to let go. 00:32:08.720 --> 00:32:13.599 But you don't hear about that as teens because 00:32:13.599 --> 00:32:16.960 that is kind of the first launching pad. Because 00:32:16.960 --> 00:32:18.200 they're going to high school and all of a sudden 00:32:18.200 --> 00:32:19.359 it's not like they're leaving the house, but 00:32:19.359 --> 00:32:20.880 they're leaving. I mean, they're going to their 00:32:20.880 --> 00:32:22.680 friends in a way. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. 00:32:22.700 --> 00:32:24.559 Well, yeah. It's almost like becoming an empty 00:32:24.559 --> 00:32:26.759 nester isn't actually an overnight thing, even 00:32:26.759 --> 00:32:28.619 though we assume it is. Yes. Because there is 00:32:28.619 --> 00:32:30.700 the night that they move out of the house. Right. 00:32:30.980 --> 00:32:34.319 But. Yeah, it is this slow ramp up. That's a 00:32:34.319 --> 00:32:36.900 good way to put it. You're starting empty nesting. 00:32:37.019 --> 00:32:38.380 I mean, I haven't looked at it like that. I mean, 00:32:38.400 --> 00:32:41.420 maybe I'm being dramatic. But it's kind of the 00:32:41.420 --> 00:32:43.940 lead up of this going into high school phase 00:32:43.940 --> 00:32:46.279 for me has been like, wow, this is the start 00:32:46.279 --> 00:32:50.799 of her going off to college or going to whatever 00:32:50.799 --> 00:32:54.000 she's going to do and the start of empty nesting. 00:32:54.039 --> 00:32:56.759 That's another way to put that. Ooh, I like it. 00:32:59.260 --> 00:33:01.099 And I guess I'm still there, so I could still 00:33:01.099 --> 00:33:03.559 do it. But now is when I'm like, oh, I'm going 00:33:03.559 --> 00:33:07.920 to talk to some friends. And I am. Some of my 00:33:07.920 --> 00:33:09.640 conversations with friends naturally work because 00:33:09.640 --> 00:33:10.859 we're all kind of going through that right now. 00:33:10.920 --> 00:33:13.680 We're like, oh, yeah. It's kind of like a piece 00:33:13.680 --> 00:33:17.099 of your heart is like taking a step away. Yeah. 00:33:17.240 --> 00:33:20.480 You know, and in a good way. But it's like it's 00:33:20.480 --> 00:33:23.599 a process. Yeah. Oh, maybe that'll help me with 00:33:23.599 --> 00:33:25.819 empty nesting because it's kind of like little 00:33:25.819 --> 00:33:29.160 by little. Yeah, it's not overnight. Yeah, that's 00:33:29.160 --> 00:33:31.500 good. So what is something you tell other moms 00:33:31.500 --> 00:33:34.740 who maybe aren't quite in this stage yet or are 00:33:34.740 --> 00:33:37.819 just entering middle school, high school years 00:33:37.819 --> 00:33:40.279 with their kiddos? I would say give yourself 00:33:40.279 --> 00:33:43.059 grace. I mean, because every mom, every kid is 00:33:43.059 --> 00:33:46.660 different, you know? And so, you know, like I 00:33:46.660 --> 00:33:49.299 would hear friends be like, oh, total mom fail. 00:33:49.480 --> 00:33:51.480 Oh, you know, and I know they're kidding in a 00:33:51.480 --> 00:33:53.470 way, but I'm like, I've never thought that. Like 00:33:53.470 --> 00:33:55.609 I've never thought like I failed something or 00:33:55.609 --> 00:33:57.650 like, and I know it's just a ism and it's just 00:33:57.650 --> 00:34:00.029 like a phrase you use, but it's like, but to 00:34:00.029 --> 00:34:02.569 me it's also like a mindset of like, oh, you 00:34:02.569 --> 00:34:03.769 know, I don't know. I'm just figuring this out 00:34:03.769 --> 00:34:06.750 as I go to here. And, um, I've always just had 00:34:06.750 --> 00:34:09.630 that attitude and, and my kids know that too. 00:34:09.769 --> 00:34:12.030 You know, so I'm not like, I'm not like, yeah, 00:34:12.110 --> 00:34:14.349 because I'm the mom because I don't know what 00:34:14.349 --> 00:34:16.969 it is to be a mom. I don't know either, you know, 00:34:16.969 --> 00:34:21.789 and, and to really give them more agency than. 00:34:22.380 --> 00:34:25.219 you think you should, I guess. Like, I would 00:34:25.219 --> 00:34:27.280 say like, you know, they're experts. They're 00:34:27.280 --> 00:34:30.280 experts at their stage of life of whatever they 00:34:30.280 --> 00:34:33.000 can process at the time. And so invite them into 00:34:33.000 --> 00:34:34.699 the process. You know, now I sound like work, 00:34:34.719 --> 00:34:37.380 but this is, you know, I do treat them like little 00:34:37.380 --> 00:34:39.920 adults. You know, I'm like, well, okay, let's 00:34:39.920 --> 00:34:41.360 walk out. You know, they're making a choice. 00:34:41.420 --> 00:34:42.980 And I'm like, let's walk out those decisions. 00:34:43.099 --> 00:34:44.840 If you go, if you make this choice and you do 00:34:44.840 --> 00:34:47.380 this, or you can do this and go that path, you 00:34:47.380 --> 00:34:52.289 know, and just walking it with them. And letting 00:34:52.289 --> 00:34:54.550 them know that I'm there to just process it with 00:34:54.550 --> 00:34:57.510 them. I think you brought up that you're still 00:34:57.510 --> 00:35:00.699 just figuring it out. So now having a second 00:35:00.699 --> 00:35:02.860 kid, one of the things I realized, we're all 00:35:02.860 --> 00:35:05.019 still first -time moms. There's this attitude 00:35:05.019 --> 00:35:07.420 of once you have a second kid, you're not a first 00:35:07.420 --> 00:35:09.380 -time mom anymore. But honestly, I've never had 00:35:09.380 --> 00:35:10.820 a toddler before. Two kids, yeah. And I've never 00:35:10.820 --> 00:35:13.420 had two kids before. And yes, there are things 00:35:13.420 --> 00:35:16.440 that I know more of now. I've had an infant before, 00:35:16.579 --> 00:35:18.139 so there are things that I know that I can do. 00:35:18.260 --> 00:35:21.159 But each stage is your first time in that stage, 00:35:21.420 --> 00:35:23.099 and it's your first time in that stage with that 00:35:23.099 --> 00:35:26.010 kid. Because, you know, what you do for Mia at 00:35:26.010 --> 00:35:27.949 14 is going to look different than what you do 00:35:27.949 --> 00:35:30.329 for Maddie at 14 because they're different kids. 00:35:30.349 --> 00:35:32.110 Your kids are different, yeah. Yeah, because 00:35:32.110 --> 00:35:35.010 I think there's kind of this, like, weird negative 00:35:35.010 --> 00:35:37.030 attitude towards being a first -time mom. Like, 00:35:37.070 --> 00:35:38.369 oh, you don't know anything. It's like, none 00:35:38.369 --> 00:35:40.989 of us know anything. Yeah. Even if you think 00:35:40.989 --> 00:35:43.530 you do, you're still figuring out what it looks 00:35:43.530 --> 00:35:45.989 like for your kid. And, you know, that doesn't 00:35:45.989 --> 00:35:48.570 mean you're doing a bad job. That means you're 00:35:48.570 --> 00:35:50.369 just still learning, and that's not a bad thing. 00:35:50.369 --> 00:35:54.199 You don't know. We don't. Yeah. Well, I couldn't 00:35:54.199 --> 00:35:56.599 have you on without talking about Quigley the 00:35:56.599 --> 00:35:59.559 Hedgehog. So tell us about Quigley the Hedgehog. 00:35:59.719 --> 00:36:02.119 Yeah. So this, you know, ties back to parenting. 00:36:02.280 --> 00:36:06.420 And I remember what inspired it is one time we 00:36:06.420 --> 00:36:08.239 were dropping Maddie off at daycare. She's my 00:36:08.239 --> 00:36:10.760 younger one. She's now 11. We dropped her off 00:36:10.760 --> 00:36:13.139 at daycare and she was really shy and quiet. 00:36:13.280 --> 00:36:15.860 And the teacher said, oh, well, you know, it's 00:36:15.860 --> 00:36:17.380 only the first week. Maybe she'll come out of 00:36:17.380 --> 00:36:19.000 her shell or she'll give it time. She'll come 00:36:19.000 --> 00:36:22.909 out of her shell. And Mark turned to me and then 00:36:22.909 --> 00:36:24.849 looked at the teacher and was like, or she might 00:36:24.849 --> 00:36:28.050 not, and that's okay too. And I was like, it 00:36:28.050 --> 00:36:32.550 is? Like, oh, okay. And I've always known, you 00:36:32.550 --> 00:36:35.929 know, Mark is an introvert, but I just always 00:36:35.929 --> 00:36:37.090 thought I was going to have mini -me's and they're 00:36:37.090 --> 00:36:39.130 going to be like me. I don't know why, but maybe 00:36:39.130 --> 00:36:41.829 because they're both girls. But Maddie has a 00:36:41.829 --> 00:36:44.989 quieter temperament style. And she was our second. 00:36:45.070 --> 00:36:48.110 So Mia was like me. And then Maddie was more 00:36:48.110 --> 00:36:51.409 like her daddy. And I was like, wow. Okay. When 00:36:51.409 --> 00:36:53.530 Mark said that, I was like, you're right. It 00:36:53.530 --> 00:36:56.130 is okay. Right? Okay. But I had to learn about 00:36:56.130 --> 00:36:58.429 that because how do I raise a kid that's not 00:36:58.429 --> 00:37:00.409 like me? I don't know. I just was like, no idea. 00:37:00.630 --> 00:37:02.889 So I read a lot of books about introversion and 00:37:02.889 --> 00:37:05.710 it actually helped me in all areas of my life. 00:37:05.789 --> 00:37:09.130 You know, just work, friends. Turns out all my 00:37:09.130 --> 00:37:11.769 best friends and my husband are total introverts, 00:37:11.769 --> 00:37:15.190 opposite of me. And there's even parenting books 00:37:15.190 --> 00:37:18.409 on parenting the introverted child. But there 00:37:18.409 --> 00:37:22.570 weren't books that empowered the kid that being 00:37:22.570 --> 00:37:25.969 quiet is okay. And so I decided to write my own. 00:37:26.530 --> 00:37:29.110 So that's where Quigley the Quiet Hedgehog came 00:37:29.110 --> 00:37:32.190 from. And then Maddie has since helped me write 00:37:32.190 --> 00:37:35.590 two more books. So Quigley the Quiet Hedgehog 00:37:35.590 --> 00:37:38.230 is the first book in the series that introduces 00:37:38.230 --> 00:37:42.460 Quigley as this introverted. um, quiet creature. 00:37:43.320 --> 00:37:47.699 And then the series of books after that are her 00:37:47.699 --> 00:37:49.920 little adventures that she goes on, like how 00:37:49.920 --> 00:37:51.920 she goes to gymnastics and how it is when she 00:37:51.920 --> 00:37:54.840 goes on a hike or whatever. I love that. Yeah. 00:37:54.920 --> 00:37:57.280 I, I don't have any, I need to buy them. I have 00:37:57.280 --> 00:37:59.059 some for you. They were sitting on my counter 00:37:59.059 --> 00:38:01.699 and I left. That sounds about right. Yeah. I 00:38:01.699 --> 00:38:04.090 mean, Lloyd loves books, but And I don't want 00:38:04.090 --> 00:38:06.369 to, like, call it right now because he's not 00:38:06.369 --> 00:38:08.750 even two. But based on his temperament, I think 00:38:08.750 --> 00:38:10.429 he's going to be more introverted just because, 00:38:10.530 --> 00:38:13.369 like, we'll go into a space. And he kind of just, 00:38:13.429 --> 00:38:15.690 like, observes for a little while. But once he's 00:38:15.690 --> 00:38:19.070 comfortable, then all bets are off. Like, when 00:38:19.070 --> 00:38:21.550 we're at Grandma and Grandpa's house, he's a 00:38:21.550 --> 00:38:24.429 wild child. When we're home and it's just family. 00:38:25.029 --> 00:38:27.849 Um, and so he loves his people so much, which 00:38:27.849 --> 00:38:29.690 is part of being an introvert is like, you have 00:38:29.690 --> 00:38:32.650 your people that you love. Um, it's just, you 00:38:32.650 --> 00:38:35.750 know, big groups and needing to recharge and 00:38:35.750 --> 00:38:38.150 all of that. And I think it's just a misconception 00:38:38.150 --> 00:38:40.210 of introverts are like shy and quiet. They're 00:38:40.210 --> 00:38:42.210 not shy and quiet once they are comfortable with 00:38:42.210 --> 00:38:43.949 their people. Like if you get them, you know, 00:38:43.949 --> 00:38:45.929 I think of some of the introverts in my life 00:38:45.929 --> 00:38:48.110 and it's like, you get them on the right subject. 00:38:48.150 --> 00:38:50.449 You're like, no, please stop talking now. Yeah. 00:38:50.829 --> 00:38:53.789 I think that's, and that was part of the goal 00:38:53.789 --> 00:38:56.170 of the books too. is just to redefine introversion. 00:38:56.969 --> 00:38:58.630 There's this misconception that there are these 00:38:58.630 --> 00:39:01.349 quiet bumps on a log that just sit in the corner 00:39:01.349 --> 00:39:04.289 to party. Right. Yeah. And again, there is this 00:39:04.289 --> 00:39:06.090 assumption that little kids aren't introverted, 00:39:06.210 --> 00:39:08.550 right? That all little kids are outgoing because 00:39:08.550 --> 00:39:12.210 those are the little kids we notice. I look at 00:39:12.210 --> 00:39:15.769 my nephew who we love and he's so outgoing and 00:39:15.769 --> 00:39:18.269 he's always hamming it up and wants to be the 00:39:18.269 --> 00:39:20.429 center of attention and has since like day one. 00:39:20.989 --> 00:39:24.380 And then I look at Lloyd and he... He's just 00:39:24.380 --> 00:39:27.679 not that way. And we love both of them. And honestly, 00:39:27.780 --> 00:39:29.300 it would be really boring if they were exactly 00:39:29.300 --> 00:39:32.519 the same. That's part of life, right? Yeah. We 00:39:32.519 --> 00:39:35.380 like to close each episode with our win of the 00:39:35.380 --> 00:39:40.659 week. So mine this week is, so we did try to 00:39:40.659 --> 00:39:43.300 teach Floyd some sign language. To be fair, we 00:39:43.300 --> 00:39:44.980 didn't try very hard. And he never really picked 00:39:44.980 --> 00:39:46.780 it up because we didn't try very hard. But the 00:39:46.780 --> 00:39:48.179 thing we've taught him to do when he's done with 00:39:48.179 --> 00:39:50.719 meals is to just push his plate away. So that's 00:39:50.719 --> 00:39:53.260 the way we know he's done. And I don't know how 00:39:53.260 --> 00:39:55.579 he's picked this up, but he started stacking 00:39:55.579 --> 00:39:57.900 his dishes. So, like, he'll put his fork on his 00:39:57.900 --> 00:39:59.900 plate, and then he'll put his cup on his plate. 00:40:00.139 --> 00:40:02.480 And we don't do that. Yeah, and then he pushes 00:40:02.480 --> 00:40:05.320 away. And the only time I ever stack dishes is, 00:40:05.380 --> 00:40:07.079 like, if we're at a restaurant and I'm trying 00:40:07.079 --> 00:40:09.400 to help the waitstaff or whatever. But we don't 00:40:09.400 --> 00:40:11.480 do that at home, so I don't know where he learned 00:40:11.480 --> 00:40:13.679 this. But that's how we know he's done is he 00:40:13.679 --> 00:40:16.239 stacks all his dishes and pushes it away. And 00:40:16.239 --> 00:40:18.099 then, actually, this week he's just started. 00:40:18.199 --> 00:40:20.260 He'll rub his hands together to say that he wants 00:40:20.260 --> 00:40:22.619 to wash his hands. And I don't know where he's 00:40:22.619 --> 00:40:23.860 learning these things, but he's picking them 00:40:23.860 --> 00:40:27.599 up. And it's super fun to just like see him communicating 00:40:27.599 --> 00:40:30.099 and these little things that he's learning and 00:40:30.099 --> 00:40:32.679 doing and the responsibility that he somehow 00:40:32.679 --> 00:40:35.519 has just picked up. Well, and I love that you're 00:40:35.519 --> 00:40:37.539 noticing that, right? You're not just picking 00:40:37.539 --> 00:40:39.440 up the dishes or you're teaching him those things. 00:40:39.619 --> 00:40:42.440 And now it's like he's doing it in his own way. 00:40:42.519 --> 00:40:45.639 Like even though you taught him to push the... 00:40:45.820 --> 00:40:47.940 Played away, maybe his way of doing it is the 00:40:47.940 --> 00:40:49.719 same idea, but he's going to add his little thing 00:40:49.719 --> 00:40:52.480 on it and just stack them up. Oh, I love that. 00:40:52.860 --> 00:40:55.840 I would say my win is, you know, Maddie, with 00:40:55.840 --> 00:40:58.380 that whole incident with the bike, she has said, 00:40:58.440 --> 00:41:01.719 I don't want to talk about it. And my tendency 00:41:01.719 --> 00:41:03.599 is to be like, well, you've got to talk about 00:41:03.599 --> 00:41:04.780 it. You've got to process it. This is a big deal. 00:41:05.420 --> 00:41:08.460 But I didn't. And then I had to leave town for 00:41:08.460 --> 00:41:10.039 work because I was down in Denver last night 00:41:10.039 --> 00:41:12.360 and stayed at a hotel. So I did just text her 00:41:12.360 --> 00:41:14.030 and say I was just. proud of how she handled 00:41:14.030 --> 00:41:16.349 it. And she was very brave to just get up back 00:41:16.349 --> 00:41:20.489 on her bike and ride home. And she just said, 00:41:20.510 --> 00:41:22.889 thank you so much. And then I just was like, 00:41:22.989 --> 00:41:25.429 okay, I'm just going to leave it there. And then 00:41:25.429 --> 00:41:28.309 this morning I woke up in the hotel because it 00:41:28.309 --> 00:41:31.269 just happened two days ago. And so I'm in a hotel 00:41:31.269 --> 00:41:34.130 in Denver and I have a ring notification. So 00:41:34.130 --> 00:41:36.289 I look at my ring notification and it's her riding 00:41:36.289 --> 00:41:38.889 her bike to school. I see her driving off or 00:41:38.889 --> 00:41:40.690 like biking off down the driveway. And I was 00:41:40.690 --> 00:41:44.159 like, oh wow. okay. Like she got back on the 00:41:44.159 --> 00:41:46.599 bike, you know, and I don't know if Mark had 00:41:46.599 --> 00:41:48.079 a talk with her between now and then, cause I've 00:41:48.079 --> 00:41:51.340 been gone, but also I was going to tell her like, 00:41:51.420 --> 00:41:53.119 well, when you're ready, you know, get back on 00:41:53.119 --> 00:41:54.960 your bike and you, you know, but I was like, 00:41:55.019 --> 00:41:57.460 I'm just not going to say anything. Cause that's 00:41:57.460 --> 00:42:00.219 her, that's honoring her introverted style. Right. 00:42:00.320 --> 00:42:02.199 So I was like, okay. She said, you don't talk 00:42:02.199 --> 00:42:04.300 about it. I need to not talk about it. That's 00:42:04.300 --> 00:42:06.739 hard for me. And so to see her just get on her 00:42:06.739 --> 00:42:09.289 bike and bike to school, like. two days after 00:42:09.289 --> 00:42:12.050 she just got hit by a car, biking to school, 00:42:12.150 --> 00:42:15.469 to and from school. Um, I was very proud of that. 00:42:15.690 --> 00:42:17.530 That's awesome. Yeah. That shows a lot of strength 00:42:17.530 --> 00:42:19.170 on her end too. I don't know if I would have 00:42:19.170 --> 00:42:20.889 done that. I don't know if I would have either 00:42:20.889 --> 00:42:24.530 at this age. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's awesome. 00:42:24.570 --> 00:42:26.170 Well, thank you so much for being on. This was 00:42:26.170 --> 00:42:29.010 so fun and good to see you. Thank you all for 00:42:29.010 --> 00:42:31.769 listening. We hope that you liked this episode. 00:42:32.309 --> 00:42:35.349 Please join us on social media, like subscribe. 00:42:36.460 --> 00:42:38.679 review all the things, and we will see you next 00:42:38.679 --> 00:42:38.940 week.