Welcome back to No Manual, a momcast. We're here
to just share the realities of motherhood, the
funny stories, the things that make us cry, the
reality, the little baby hiccups and squeaks
in the background. Today's episode, we thought
it'd be fun to give our, like, new mom advice
as, you know, us being experts of being moms
for a whole almost two years, not even. No, we
just thought it'd be fun if, like, if we had
a friend who was having a baby, what kind of
advice would we give them? So that's what we're
going to do today. Yes. But first, would you
like to share your mom moment? I would love to.
So we, my dad and stepmom are in town right now,
and we've been trying to, like, do stuff every
day and we went to the zoo a couple days ago
and it was super fun. We were there for like
four hours which is like pretty good with a toddler
and a newborn. I mean the Denver Zoo with how
much it has you could spend all day there. Oh
easily yeah and Cole so usually his nap time
is like usually anywhere between like 11 30 and
like 12 30 every day depending on what time he
wakes up in the morning and he This kid stayed
awake until 3 .30. He just like fought it. He
like, he ran around like crazy at the zoo and
then probably like 2 p .m. We stayed until like
3 .30. He like was ready to get back in the stroller,
which is unusual for him because he's like, he's
just wants, he's a wild child. He's very active
and energetic. So he... wanted to get in the
stroller and this he was fighting it hard like
he did not want to fall asleep and he like is
fading in the background and and then we get
to like the gorilla area and then he wants to
get out again and Cruz at this point was ready
to eat so we just found like a kind of like a
shady corner and I fed Cruz and Colt's running
around like crazy and this kid he face planted
so hard on the concrete poor buddy and cut his
head open. Oh no. Not to the point where we need
to like go get stitches or anything but it's
like dripping blood and he's just like totally
fine. He like cried for a minute or two but was
totally fine. It's actually the perfect amount
because it's enough to be like okay you're not
like if you're not really hurt right now. If
you don't get that's my big thing when Lloyd
gets hurt and like, I want you to cry because
that means I know it's not like a serious head
injury or something. If you don't cry, that's
concerning. Yeah. But also I don't want, if you
keep crying, that's also concerning. So they'll
like cry for a minute and then you move on. I'm
like, Oh, I know you're okay. Yeah. And he like
didn't want us to like wipe the blood off, of
course, but we had to like hold him down to do
it. But yeah, it was in that moment. It was just
chaos of me, like trying to still feed the baby.
Colt's face planting over here, and my dad grabbed
Colt after he face planted and tried to distract
him with the monkeys. But my dad took him away
from Michael and I to do that, and that just
made it worse at that time. And so I told Michael,
I was like, Michael, go get Colt, because he's
just going to keep... He's crying because he
just doesn't want to... be away from us. Yeah.
And so he like runs to go get him. And then Cruz
is like spitting up all over me because he's
got reflux. And so it was just chaos. But like
usually in those moments like that, I'm like,
oh my God, this is the worst. Like I get so anxious
and I want to like get out of there. But it was
so like the zoo was so fun that like I was like.
I just was like in bliss. I was like, you know
what? This is fine. It's all fine. And like,
cool. It skipped his nap. And so we were like,
you know, we had a fun day and then he like conked
out on the way home. Of course. But it just like
that day was just a really fun day. No, like
huge. Also as a side note the zoo has like two
or maybe even three or four Like nursing pod
areas. Oh, yeah, which is so great. Yeah, that's
super smart. Yes. Yeah Yeah, I saw this real
the other day cuz like I'll like try to cover
up most of the time depending on where I am Just
like I don't really care but for other people
to I don't know to not feel uncomfortable or
whatever but I saw this real of like you um under
the cover it can get up in the summer it can
get up to like 118 degrees yeah under there and
i was like okay well yeah i'm not gonna do that
anymore my kids never eat well when they're covered
up either yeah i mean i wouldn't want to yeah
eat like that so yeah i get it what is your mom
moment so this week has been super super well
we had a couple of rainy days and we started
doing walks then because we were all losing our
mind but then it's also been it started to get
really nice this week And Lloyd has picked up
a habit of when we go on a walk, he'll find a
rock, like just a normal sized rock, and he'll
hold it for the entirety of the walk. That's
so cute. And then set it down when we get home.
And he's done this. He doesn't do anything with
it. He just wants to hold it. He's done this,
I guess, only twice now, but it's really funny.
So we started calling it his walk rock. Walk
rock. But it's... It seems like it's his routine
now. If we pass by an area of the neighborhood
that has rocks, he has to pick one up. He picks
it up. And then once we get back home, he wants
to put it back. And it's super cute and so funny.
And I don't know what he wants to do with it.
Because he literally just holds it the whole
time. And I don't know why. a basket of them
that you just collect over the years and be like,
here's all the walk rocks that you've collected.
That's amazing. So funny. I love that. Well,
today we're going to like Erica mentioned, we're
going to talk about just some like some tips
or advice that we have for new moms, things we've
learned, things we've learned, things maybe we're
still working on. But hopefully, yeah, if you're
a new mom or maybe you're not, maybe you can
get a little something out of today. Yeah, send
this to an expecting mom. Mm hmm. Yeah. Do you
want to hop right into maybe one of your years
that you thought about? Yeah. So one of the ones
that I thought about is babies are really noisy
sleepers, and I don't feel like people talk about
this enough. No. Where it's like, I think we
talked about this in a different episode. Yeah.
But. It's almost like having a sleep talker in
your room. Yes. They're not speaking yet. So
they're just like little grunts and cries and
all of this. And it's super easy to wake your
baby up. I know for Lloyd, there are multiple
times like looking back, I can go, oh, there
are a bunch of times that he wasn't awake and
he and I woke him up because he was being noisy
and I assumed he needed something. Yeah. And
that's been. easier for me this time around to
be like, oh, okay. Like I'm going to wait until
you start crying until I can tell you're awake
till you're looking at me in the eye. So that's
my first one is babies are super noisy sleepers.
Yeah. Going off of that one, I just thought of
was to use red lights at night. So we have the
hatch sound machine, which we love. So we use,
we actually use brown noise instead of white
noise. It's a little more. Yeah. Yeah. It's a
little less harsh. I feel like, but then the
hatch sound machine can also light up to like
any color. And we read something about like the
red light is actually. makes your brain not stop
producing melatonin and I know with babies they're
like they're not really producing melatonin until
a certain point but it also helps with your circadian
rhythm yes yeah and so we actually have on our
nightstands we have two lamps both of those are
smart bulbs and then we also have our hatch sound
machine so at night when I have to feed I just
turn on like the red light. Um, so I can still
see, I can still do diaper change fine, but it's
also not like the harsh light of like the white
light. That's right. Yeah. We have smart bulbs
in our room too. And that's been so nice because
you can, and you can keep it super low. Yeah.
Yeah. Maybe that's another piece of advice. Yeah.
Smart bulbs for your bedroom at night. Yeah.
You can adjust it to like 1%. So it's barely
on, but enough that you can see what's going
on. Then it doesn't. wake up the baby or mess
with your brain or whatever. Yeah, it's nice
because I can adjust it to from my phone. And
so I just like I'll like open up if I hear like
him awake, I'll like open up my app real quick
and I'll just like turn it on. So it's not like
a whole like, Alexa, turn the right turn the
red lights. Yeah. Yeah, that's my advice. My
next one is, and this is another thing. I don't
know why they don't just tell you this, but babies
don't realize that they're separate from you.
I want to say for the first like six months,
I don't remember the exact timeframe. And I think
it's probably a little bit different for each
baby, but it's like at least the first six months,
they don't realize that like you weren't, they
are no longer attached to their mom. So that
just like explains so much about why they want
to constantly be touching you and why a lot of
times like. dad or grandma or whoever can do
everything to try to comfort them and it won't
work. And then the second they're in your arms,
it's like they feel like they're missing a limb
if they're away from you, which is kind of crazy.
But it's so true. For me, too, I don't feel separate
from him also. I feel like it kind of goes both
ways. For sure. You've grown this human for nine
-ish months. now they're just like outside of
you in a separate being than you, but you feel
so emotionally connected. And also the anxiety
of like leaving your newborn isn't weird. Like
your body's telling you something of like, no,
you should, you still feel like you're attached
to this little person. So yeah, it's not as crazy
as it feels like it is. No. Okay. My next advice
is you're not doing it wrong. It's just hard.
I feel like this, like oftentimes new moms like
get so totally in their head of like, oh, well,
the baby won't stop crying. I must be doing something
wrong rather than like, you know, it's just a
hard hour or a hard moment or it's the witching
hour or whatever. You're just having a day. Yeah.
So advice of just like motherhood is hard. You're
going to figure out what's going to work for
your kids and what's not going to work. And it's
a lot of trial and error. But ultimately, you're
not doing it wrong. It's just it's hard in general.
And that's what our podcast is about. Yeah, I
think I have one that kind of goes with that
really well is it's also OK to complain. I think
a lot of times like we all hear the advice of
like, oh, enjoy it. It goes so fast. And being
like a little bit into motherhood now, I'm like,
it does go fast. But there are also things that
you don't miss. Yeah. Like you don't miss the
sleepless nights and not knowing what your baby
needs and them just screaming and you not knowing
what it is. There are parts you do miss. So,
I mean, I think I would say there's like a balance
of like, it's definitely OK to complain sometimes,
but also don't make it like everything. All you're
doing is complaining because that makes it really
easy to miss. the beautiful little moments that
aren't hard, or the joy in the hard moments.
But yeah, it's okay to complain because it is
hard. Yeah, I think an example of that for me
right now, so Colt had reflex really bad, and
now Cruz has reflex. And it's not as bad, but
I think with Colt, I just like, I was so worried
or... or complaining about it all the time about
like how many outfits I had to change, how all
of my shirts got ruined because there's all this
spit up on me. And it really like now this time
around with Cruz, it's like, you know what? It
is what it is. I don't feel like it's that big
of a deal. Yeah, I feel like rather than wallowing
in the complaining, I'm able to like enjoy the
moments of. Yeah. Yeah. Even if he does spit
up all over me, it's like a funny thing rather
than than a rather than allowing it to be the
thing that ruins your day. Yeah. Yeah. I think
I just like spent a lot of time with Cole like
complaining about it or or worrying about it.
Yeah. Next advice. Let go of the highlight reel.
So ultimately this means just like you're going
to compare yourself to other moms, whether it's
on Instagram, whether it's someone you see at
the park. And that comparison game is so, so
prevalent. And you really need to just be intentional
about like, letting go of the basically all the
beautiful reels that you see on Instagram of
like, my morning as a mom of two under two. And
it's like, Oh, we read our Bibles together and
we had a beautiful breakfast outside with your
waffle cut into the shape of stars. And ultimately
like that comparison game can, you just need
to try to let it go because that's not the reality
that we, most of us are living in. Yeah. Yeah.
And you might have days when that's your, like,
when I even look at those, one of the things
I've tried to think about is like, There are
those days that are like everything's going really
well Everyone woke up in a good mood and we did
everything right and then the very next day you're
like and it's the opposite we're all screaming
and crying because we didn't sleep well and And
and and yeah, so yeah, I like that a lot. Yeah,
okay This is kind of just complete different
direction, but there's a company there are two
companies there's one called sparrow sleeps and
another called rockabye baby and they make lullabies
for babies out of so Swear Asleeps does current
music and like some alt rock stuff. It's like
we have their Blink 182 album and they have a
Taylor Swift album and they have I think they
have Green Day a bunch of stuff and then Rock
by Baby does classic rock in lullaby form. So
that's what we have for Lloyd for his like nighttime
sleep. I love it is just like some classic songs
that we enjoy in lullaby form. It's really fun
and It's like fun for the whole family. It's
fun for the whole family, exactly. That's amazing.
Yeah, we sadly did not know about that until
I feel like it's too late, you know. You can
use it for your cruise. Yeah, exactly, exactly.
But we're full on, full on Miss Rachel people,
which it is what it is. OK, next one is, you
know your baby best. And this is just, I mean,
I think all of us know this, but like, good reminder
of just like Ultimately, we do know our baby
best. There's gonna be outside voices that come
in all the time Whether it's parents friends
or even online again or even like this is maybe
a little bit of a hot take But even doctors sometimes
yeah, this isn't anything against doctors, but
a lot of times they're just like this is the
statistic, but you know, you're they go on a
statistic and you're like, no, but I grew this
baby. Yeah. You're like, and I live with them
every single day. Yep. Yep. You have that intuition
and yeah, you know, your baby best. So whether
you're having to be their best advocate or really
just stick up for yourself in a moment of criticism,
you know, you know what's best for your baby.
Yeah. Yeah. I'd say the next piece of advice
kind of goes off of that, which is not all advice
and recommendations will work for you and your
baby. Like you can try stuff that doesn't mean
to just ignore advice. And I mean, that's even
we're giving you a whole podcast of advice. So
we're probably going to say things that just
don't work for you. I know one for me was. there's
always been the advice right now of like, you
should put your baby down, drowsy, but awake.
And that hasn't worked for either of my kids.
And with Lloyd, that was really hard because
I felt like I had to do that. And if I didn't,
I would like ruin our entire lives. And he was
never going to sleep by himself. Same until finally
I let go of that. And we just figured out what
worked best for him. And then Zeta, because I
know it didn't work for Lloyd, I tried it a couple
of times. And when it didn't work, I'm like,
OK. You know what? Yeah, it didn't work for her
either. And now we're moving on. So I think just
like letting go of the pressure and especially
like we live in an age of so much information,
which can be super helpful, but then you can
scroll on Instagram for like 30 seconds and have
seven different people give you seven different
pieces of advice for the exact same thing. And
it is very stressful sometimes. Again, it can
be helpful, but They don't know your kid. So
you can try it. And if it doesn't work, then
figure out what does work for you. Yeah. And
don't feel like your baby's broken or you're
doing something wrong because this piece of advice
you got isn't working for you guys. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. I totally felt the same way about, especially
with first baby of like, Oh, I need to follow
all these wake windows, follow the drowsy, but
awake or yeah, drowsy, but awake guideline. And
it just, it ended up in tears most of the time
of like, you know, his wake window was, was an
hour versus two hours. And now it's going to
screw up the rest of the schedule for the day
and bedtime is going to be earlier and blah,
blah, blah. And you, yeah, you've got to just
figure out what works for you. For sure. Yeah.
Okay. Next one. This one was so hard for me and
is actually still hard for me. So I need to take
this advice is asking for help. and then actually
taking the help. We talked about this on a podcast
a while ago about like postpartum needs and asking
for help. And that was just something I like.
I don't ask for help in general, especially in
postpartum. I think I've had a hard time asking
for help. But when I do and then I actually take
it, it's like a game changer. For me, I don't
know if you feel that way, too. Yeah, no, I would
agree when I think one of the hard things about
asking for help, like when you have kids and
you have babies is a lot of what you need help
with is a lot more like intimate is maybe the
best word. You know, it's not just, you know,
it's like, hey, I can you run to the grocery
store for me? Yeah. Or something like that. You
fold my laundry. Sorry, you have to fold my underwear.
But right. Yeah, that it's. is a lot more vulnerable
maybe of the kind of help you need. It's not
just generic, but yeah, I'm the same way where
it's like, I'm not gonna ask you for help. And
then when people offer my natural instincts saying,
no, it's fine, I got it. But then every time
I do accept, I'm like, oh, I'm so glad that you
came over and helped with that. I'm so appreciative.
So appreciative. My day is so much easier because
I did let you run to the grocery store for me
or... Whatever that may be. Yeah This is another
just kind of random one. I've always had a hard
time getting my kids enough tummy time Oh gosh.
Yeah, especially in the early days when they
like really hate it and they just like cry the
whole time But one piece of advice I got that
was super helpful especially for the first like
probably two months is after every diaper change,
assuming you have time, do like a minute of tummy
time. Now you don't have to do a super long amount,
even like 30 seconds in the first month is great
because you're changing a lot of diapers. So
it's like if you do a minute for every diaper
change every day or even half your diaper changes
in a day, it's like, oh, you're going to get
maybe not quite to the goal that they give you
or whatever, but it does add up and it makes
a big difference. And then you're not just like
sitting there waiting for them to not cry or
sitting there watching them cry while they do
tummy time or whatever. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. That's
so true. Tummy time. That was one of those things
that I was like on Instagram. It tells you like,
Oh, at this age they need this much tummy. Yeah.
And that was something that Colt hate. He hated
tummy time for a very long time. And so I like
avoided it like the plague. And that's really
good advice for after a diaper changes. Yeah,
that's it was super helpful for Lloyd because
he also hated tummy time. They just done a little
bit better. Now, again, especially the first
few months, once they once they can actually
start holding their head up, then then it's fine.
Then I mean, I would hate it, too. Yeah. You
know, of like someone forcing me on my stomach.
Yeah. Here, do a push up whether you like it
or not. Yeah, exactly. Okay, my next advice is
to sleep or clean or relax when the baby sleeps
and I I feel like You hear sleep when the baby
sleeps Like that's all the advice. That's like
the most advice I probably got was like that
phrase sleep when the baby sleeps like the thing
that I have kind of realized with this is if
you can When you get to nap time figure out the
thing that's gonna make you feel the best if
you can only get one thing done in that nap time.
And there are definitely times when it's like
sleeping is like, I'm going to lose it if I don't
get a nap. But then like for me this week, there
was one day I was super tired, but also like
the dishes were stacking up and yeah. when I
walked across the kitchen floor, crumbs got on
my feet because that's how long it had been since
I swept and like all the things. So I was like,
you know, I'm just going to drink a little more
caffeine today and get this done. And because
then you're going to feel better about it rather
than. And there are so many things that you need
to do. So, yeah, figure out like what thing is
going to be best for like this nap time. Yeah,
that'll also because that'll also make you a
more present and a better mom because you can.
Cause you're feeling more yourself. Yeah. I've
actually found like that a lot of, if I take
a nap, I'm actually in like a worse state after.
Sometimes I just need to like power through and
just make it to bedtime and that actually sitting
and like vegging out on the couch or, or trying
to get some chores done, some laundry folded
or whatever. Reading your book that you actually
enjoy or something like that. It's actually better
for my soul than a nap. I would agree. Yeah.
All right, next one is use your baby wrap or
baby carrier as much as possible. Again, especially
early days, they literally think they're a part
of you, so that helps. And then you can get things
done. Not that it's all about getting things
done, but again, sometimes you're like, I need
this for me to like have a clean kitchen. So
if you can put your baby in the wrap and then
clean your kitchen or go on a walk or whatever
that looks like for you also. uh for grocery
shopping that makes a huge difference because
then your car seat doesn't take up the entire
cart yeah that is that is wild with two kids
like we've done it a few times where we have
like colt in the in the scene yeah in the actual
seat of the shopping cart and then cruise in
the car seat in the basket and I'm like putting
the groceries underneath the or we're taking
a second cart. I'm like, this is ridiculous.
Yeah. Yeah. So maybe while grocery shopping for
sure. Yeah. But also, yeah, just like around
the house, it makes it easier to your hands free.
So it's like, oh, you can read your book or you
can do dishes or you can do the thing that you
feel like you need to do. Yeah. Your makeup,
whatever that is. Exactly. OK. Next advice. Your
baby needs a present mom, not a perfect one.
And I feel like this is so cliche. But ultimately,
like, you're going to have difficult days. You're
going to. Yeah, I feel like one thing that like
I grew up with and my mom is an amazing mom.
But I feel like when she was having a hard day,
she tried not to show us like she would hide
it from us. And ultimately, I feel like that
like Not that that harmed us in any sense, but
I feel like that we really needed her to just
Be present and not like she could show us the
real like yeah who she actually was and not be
perfect And so I think that ultimately like whether
you're a new mom or you've been a mom for a while
Your kid like your kids just need you to be present.
Mm -hmm. Obviously like you need to hit certain
standards as a mom, but like you don't need to
be perfect by any means. Yeah. Yeah. I think
if you strive for that, you're just going to,
you're going to kill yourself trying. Yeah. Then
there's almost a level. It's like, and then you're
a worse mom because you have this goal in mind
that that you're trying to achieve. That's never
possible. Yep. Yeah. Okay. My next one is if
you are pregnant, take a birthing class. Like
I will I will tell every person who's pregnant
everyone who's pregnant to take a birthing class
When we took ours, it was super helpful It was
helpful for Stewart because he was like, oh there
are so many things that I didn't realize I didn't
know Yeah, like how much I would need to support
you during labor and all of that but like the
one we took was super basic and it just covered
all of the grounds of like this is what natural
labor looks like this is what all the different
medicated pain relief looks like this is what
a planned c -section would look like this is
what an emergency c -section would look like
and it was super helpful for me especially as
a planner where it's like okay i knew i had the
goal of having a natural birth but if something
changes now i already have all this information
and it's not in the middle of labor that i'm
making a decision necessarily so i can like kind
of ahead ahead of time be like okay what is like
my order of like medicated pain relief or whatever.
If I decide I can't do it anymore, like what
am I going to do? Or if I did have to have an
emergency c -section, like what does that look
like? So that way, you know, as they're wheeling
me in, I at least have something in the back
of my head of knowing what's going on. So I'd
say that was super helpful. Again, it was helpful
for Stuart too. And I think it kind of helps
you maintain your goals as much as possible.
But then again, like things, unpredictable things
happen all the time. And when you're in labor,
labor is like, I don't want to say labor is scary,
but kind of because you have to make these like
game time decisions constantly. Right. And so
if you already have that information before you
get to labor to go, OK, I kind of remember they
talked about this, you know, and maybe we talked
about it after class. So. now I feel more educated
in making that decision. Yeah. Yeah. We did not
take a birthing class and I would, I do wish
we would have, especially for our first of, of
just like knowing all the options and steps and
all the things. Cause we went into it kind of,
yeah, kind of blind, I think. Yeah. And then,
you know, like risk and you can decide what risks
you want to take and what, you know, risk reward
for all the things. So yeah, yeah. Highly recommend
that if you're pregnant. Yep. OK, next, you should
if you're becoming a new mom, you need to invest
in a really good lounge set. Yes. Yeah. It doesn't
have to be super expensive. No, no, no, no. I
found some like great deals. Oh, yeah. I've got
some amazing ones from Amazon, like 30 bucks.
Or Aerie is always having Aerie. Yep. Mm hmm.
Yeah. I this time around, I bought I think I
bought like three different lounge sets. And
it just like made me, if I like changed out of
my pajamas in the morning and put on the lounge
set, it like made me feel just a little bit better.
It makes you feel put together. Yeah. Yeah. And
I by no means looked put together. Like the lounge
set just made me feel like I like, okay, I'm,
I'm still comfy. I'm cozy, but I'm it's daytime
and I'm starting my day. I would say just in
general. Try to change out of nighttime comfy
clothes to daytime comfy clothes But if you have
like a matching set or something like that, there's
something about it that you're like I feel cute
like and that can Make all the difference. Yes.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I Last time our first postpartum.
I would like stay in my like ratted up like t
-shirt spit up all over all day and I really
did not feel great about myself this time around
if I can like if I can get out of bed wash my
face even and put on like one of my lounge sets
I feel like a new person I'd also add to that
like doing a little bit of makeup you know not
like a full face or anything but it's like even
some mascara sometimes you're like oh I feel
like a human again yep yep agree I'm kind of
going off of just like clothes and all of that.
If you're breastfeeding, this isn't going to
sound weird, but crop tops, not like a clubbing
crop top, but like get some old t -shirts that
you don't really care about. Cut them not super
short, like long enough that you still feel comfortable
in them. But if they're a little bit cropped,
it makes it so much easier for breastfeeding.
If we're just being real, you need to have quick
boob access. That's just the reality of breastfeeding.
And t -shirts can like, they'll like cover your
kid's face and then they're mad because they're
trying to eat with a t -shirt on their face.
And there's just less fabric to move. It's a
weird one that I discovered, but it's been so
helpful for me. On that note too, like at night
time. If I just sleep in my nursing bra, that's
like, I don't try to sleep in like a pajama shirt
or anything like that. Yeah. I also got night
sweats so bad, especially first few weeks in
like month. Oh yeah. So having cool clothes is
helpful. Yeah. And then that quick boob accent.
Yes. It's important. It's a win -win. The next
one is having everything you need within reach
when feeding. So especially if you're breastfeeding,
Um, I highly recommend, so I have like a breastfeeding
cart that I have. That's super smart. Yeah. And
it has snacks. It has like, if it had liquid
IVs, um, it has like diapers, burp cloths, new
outfits. Um, it had like, has my breast pump
on it, but just like this cart with all the essentials
like that within reach. Oh, my Kindle. Yeah,
like things that you need in order to be able
to have a successful feeding session so that
you water bottle. Yeah. Water. Maybe a phone
charger. Yeah. I would recommend like picking
a place that you're like when you're at home,
this is where you primarily feed. Yeah. Just
you have like access to all of those things.
It doesn't have to. by no means has to be that
way. Like I'll plop on the couch and feed the
baby too, but it's nice to have like an area
that's like my feeding area and set up successfully
for like everything I may need during the feeding.
Like your baby just needs you. Yeah. The amount
of times I've like started feeding and then I'm
like, Oh, my water bottle is 10 feet away and
I can't get it. Yeah. Or even if my phone is
like two feet. Just with that. Being mom has
made me realize why Mrs. Incredible and the Incredibles
is a lasso girl. As a mom, that's what you need
to be. That's so true. If my phone's on the opposite
side, I'm like, Michael, can you reach my phone
for me? He's like, it's right there. I'm like,
yeah, I can't. I can't reach it. I can't reach
it right now. Yeah. Yeah, that's a big one for
sure. Going off of that, I'd say pick a... TV
show that you can kind of binge. And I would
say pick one that's a little more lighthearted,
like, yeah, like a sitcom or something like that.
Because especially for first baby, you spend
a lot of time just sitting on the couch feeding.
But then even with second baby, there are times
when it's like it's late at night and you're
having a rough night and just having something
that you can put on in the background that's
like kind of feel good and funny. What's like
your go to? So when Lloyd was born, I put on
the Andy Griffith show. Nice. And then for Zeta,
I did the Dick Van Dyke show, partially because
I wanted to show that Stuart and I weren't watching
together. Mm hmm. Yeah, that's a good point.
Right now we're rewatching Parks and Rec together.
Yeah, that's a good one. Mine was with Colt was
New Girl. OK. And then I haven't really picked
one this time. Like I'll I'll use my Kindle.
Yeah. A lot, especially during feeds, but. with
a toddler. It's so much harder during the day
to like sit down and actually watch a show, I
feel like. And so we're not watching a ton of
TV during the day. At night, we'll watch some
TV. We just started this show called Shrinking
on Apple TV with Jason Siegel and Harrison Ford.
It is so, it's so funny. It's yeah, highly recommend.
Yeah. Okay, next have a quick errand diaper bag.
So diaper bags are bulky, especially if you get
like, yeah, a full on diaper bag. I would recommend
like even if it's like a fanny pack or like a
little tiny backpack with just a couple of diapers
and wipes, maybe one outfit and a burp cloth
or something like that that you can just take
with you into a store real quick so you don't
have to bring the whole diaper bag with you.
We had a fanny pack for Lloyd and right now we
have a little backpack because we need diapers
for two kids. Yes. But yeah, we've kind of abandoned
the full diaper bag at this point with two kids.
It's really just, yeah, the quick errand diaper
bag. Like, yeah, we have the full one for when
we like go to grandparents houses or we're at
church and we need to make sure we have snacks
and that kind of stuff. But. It's just, it's
so big and I always feel like I'm falling over
when I'm wearing it at this point because of
how much stuff we need. But the quick errand
one, especially if you're just like going grocery
shopping, you don't need snacks. You don't need
all of the extra stuff. And to then have in the
shopping cart two kids, one in a car seat, a
diaper bag. Where the heck are you going to put
your groceries at this point? Yeah, impossible.
So my next one is skin -to -skin works for so
many things. So I know I got the advice early
on with Lloyd that if your baby's having a hard
time latching, skin -to -skin can, I think it
triggers some sort of instinct or something.
But I've also noticed if Zayda's having a tough
time sleeping and I just put her directly on
my chest with no clothes, then that can help.
I know... newborns, it helps regulate a lot of
systems. I think that continues though. Yeah.
I mean, don't quote me on that. That's one I'm
not 100 % sure on. Just going directly, like
putting your baby directly on your chest with
no clothes can help regulate, help them calm
down. It helps them latch. Like the other night
Zeta was, she hadn't had a full feed and she
fell asleep and I was like, shoot, I can't wake
her up if I don't have to. So I was like, well,
let me see if just like, unzipping her pajamas
and putting her on my chest will help. And then
she had a full feed and didn't fully wake up.
So I guess that would be like, if you don't know
what to do, try that because it works for a lot
of things. Yeah. One I just thought of too is
speaking of full feeds, especially if you're
breastfeeding, like you're going to be so hungry
all the time. And I think that oftentimes we
can get in our heads about like how many calories
were, yeah, like body image, all that. And my
advice is just if you're hungry, just eat. Yeah.
Yeah. Take care of your body. Yeah. Take care
of your body. Cause like your body's telling
you. Listen to your hungry cues. Yeah. Not just
your baby's. Yeah. Your body's telling you that
you're hungry and the calories are going to you
and your baby. And my advice is just, yeah, try
to eat and eating, especially while breastfeeding
is like, I don't know that's clutch of like snacking
while the baby's snacking. Yep. Yeah, that's
one of the things that Like it helps you remember
to eat like oh, I should snack when the baby's
eating Yeah, kind of going off of just I guess
bread breastfeeding information So I didn't find
this out till like literally a couple weeks ago
But I thought it was super interesting. So there's
something called dysphoric milk ejection reflex.
But basically what happens when you are producing
milk is your body releases prolactin and that
can cause a sudden drop in dopamine which means
a lot of times when you like start feeding or
you start pumping all of a sudden you get like
really sad or really anxious or really angry
or one of those like really extreme feelings
and that's why. Interesting. I've actually never
heard of that. Yeah, my mom sent me this thing
that told me that, and it just changed my world
because that explains so many things. And it's
been super helpful for me recently, too. There
have been a couple times in particular where
I start feeding and all of a sudden I go down
this anxiety spiral and I can pull myself out
of it and be like, oh, this is why I'm going
down an anxiety spiral is because my dopamine
just dropped because I'm making milk for Zeta.
So I thought that was super interesting. And
again, as one of those pieces of information,
I feel like we should just tell any mom who's
planning on breastfeeding and their support people
to just know, but we don't. And so then you feel
like kind of crazy because you get sad or you
get anxious or whatever feeling you're feeling.
really suddenly because at least in my experience,
it's been like once I've been paying attention,
I'm like, oh, it's like a drop. Yeah, like a
roller coaster or something. So interesting.
That's just a piece of information. I wish I
knew when I was restfeeding Lloyd and I definitely
didn't. But I'm glad that I know now. Yeah, that's
I mean, I didn't know that until right this minute.
So that's actually really good to know. And I
think that explains a lot of things too. That's
cool. Yeah. That's all that's on my list. Do
you have any more that you want to add? No, that's
my last one. Yeah. Awesome. Yeah. I feel like
ultimately, like as a new mom, you need to pick
and choose the advice you take from people. So
like take or leave what we've said today. And
you're really ultimately like the base advice
is like, you're going to figure out what works
for you and what works for your baby. Yeah. Yeah.
And I would also, I guess my one last piece of
advice would be there are lots of things that
even if people tell you, you're not going to
actually learn until you're in it. It's like
we could give you this whole list of advice and
there might be not a single one that you take
until you're in it and you figure it out for
yourself. Like I think I had this example in
a different episode of fevers with Lloyd where
it's like. I could have had every person in my
life tell me like, oh, well, once he has a serious
fever, like you'll be able to tell. But for me,
every time he felt even a little bit warm, I
was like, he has a fever. That's the problem
until the day that he had a real fever, like
a serious one. And I felt his skin. I was like,
oh, no, that's what it is. Yeah. So I think there's
just like lots of things like that that you can
people can tell you things, but you're not necessarily
going to like really know it or understand it
until until you experience it yourself. Yeah.
for sure that's so true um okay do we want to
close out with our wins of the week yeah i can
go first okay so this was a couple weeks ago
but uh we had a night where loyd spent the night
with grandparents and so we just we had zeta
to ourselves and then the next morning when we
picked loyd up He was just so excited to see
Zeta and it was the sweetest, like he didn't
care about me. He didn't want to give me a hug
or anything like that, which is like, okay, thanks.
But he was so excited to see his sister and lit
up like a light when he saw her and just wanted
to give her nucks because that's his thing right
now is giving everyone nucks. But it was just
super sweet to see that. Their little relationship
blossoming and that's cute that he doesn't just
like put up with her because she's in the house
But he was like excited to see her after being
away from her. That's sweet Um my win of the
week. We've had quite the week just in general
Just not a lot of sleep Like tantrums have been
extra tantrumy But my win of the week is that
we've gotten out of the house every single day
this week. So that's just it's been like kind
of rainy, but we'll like go to Target or Costco
or whatever. Just getting out of the house is
so helpful for all of us, honestly. I've noticed
a huge difference in Colt if we just stay in
the house all day versus one trip to the grocery
store. It doesn't even have to be a play exciting
thing. No, it's just like... getting out of the
house. Yeah, or going to going honestly like
going through the Dutch Bros drive through like
even just getting in the car and going somewhere
like a change of scenery. Yeah. So that has been
my win of like it's been a tough week, but it's
also like we've seen glimpses of glimpses of
hope in our in our trips out of the house. That's
awesome. Yeah. Yep. Well, thanks for listening
to this week's episode. If you have a device
for new moms, you can comment that on Instagram.
If there's anything that you want to hear, please
let us know and follow us on Instagram at No
Manual Podcast. We will see you next week. See
you next week. Thanks for tuning in.