WEBVTT 00:00:13.080 --> 00:00:17.179 Welcome back to No Manual, a momcast. We're here 00:00:17.179 --> 00:00:19.640 to just share the realities of motherhood, the 00:00:19.640 --> 00:00:22.379 funny stories, the things that make us cry, the 00:00:22.379 --> 00:00:24.460 reality, the little baby hiccups and squeaks 00:00:24.460 --> 00:00:28.199 in the background. Today's episode, we thought 00:00:28.199 --> 00:00:32.280 it'd be fun to give our, like, new mom advice 00:00:32.280 --> 00:00:35.600 as, you know, us being experts of being moms 00:00:35.600 --> 00:00:39.200 for a whole almost two years, not even. No, we 00:00:39.200 --> 00:00:41.280 just thought it'd be fun if, like, if we had 00:00:41.280 --> 00:00:43.000 a friend who was having a baby, what kind of 00:00:43.000 --> 00:00:45.039 advice would we give them? So that's what we're 00:00:45.039 --> 00:00:47.759 going to do today. Yes. But first, would you 00:00:47.759 --> 00:00:50.219 like to share your mom moment? I would love to. 00:00:50.619 --> 00:00:56.020 So we, my dad and stepmom are in town right now, 00:00:56.020 --> 00:00:59.579 and we've been trying to, like, do stuff every 00:00:59.579 --> 00:01:02.780 day and we went to the zoo a couple days ago 00:01:02.780 --> 00:01:06.819 and it was super fun. We were there for like 00:01:06.819 --> 00:01:09.939 four hours which is like pretty good with a toddler 00:01:09.939 --> 00:01:12.120 and a newborn. I mean the Denver Zoo with how 00:01:12.120 --> 00:01:14.219 much it has you could spend all day there. Oh 00:01:14.219 --> 00:01:18.060 easily yeah and Cole so usually his nap time 00:01:18.060 --> 00:01:22.280 is like usually anywhere between like 11 30 and 00:01:22.280 --> 00:01:25.599 like 12 30 every day depending on what time he 00:01:25.599 --> 00:01:29.959 wakes up in the morning and he This kid stayed 00:01:29.959 --> 00:01:33.500 awake until 3 .30. He just like fought it. He 00:01:33.500 --> 00:01:37.439 like, he ran around like crazy at the zoo and 00:01:37.439 --> 00:01:42.439 then probably like 2 p .m. We stayed until like 00:01:42.439 --> 00:01:46.099 3 .30. He like was ready to get back in the stroller, 00:01:46.379 --> 00:01:49.879 which is unusual for him because he's like, he's 00:01:49.879 --> 00:01:52.280 just wants, he's a wild child. He's very active 00:01:52.280 --> 00:01:55.640 and energetic. So he... wanted to get in the 00:01:55.640 --> 00:01:58.379 stroller and this he was fighting it hard like 00:01:58.379 --> 00:02:01.939 he did not want to fall asleep and he like is 00:02:01.939 --> 00:02:05.980 fading in the background and and then we get 00:02:05.980 --> 00:02:09.199 to like the gorilla area and then he wants to 00:02:09.199 --> 00:02:12.819 get out again and Cruz at this point was ready 00:02:12.819 --> 00:02:14.979 to eat so we just found like a kind of like a 00:02:14.979 --> 00:02:17.960 shady corner and I fed Cruz and Colt's running 00:02:17.960 --> 00:02:21.879 around like crazy and this kid he face planted 00:02:21.879 --> 00:02:26.430 so hard on the concrete poor buddy and cut his 00:02:26.430 --> 00:02:29.229 head open. Oh no. Not to the point where we need 00:02:29.229 --> 00:02:31.150 to like go get stitches or anything but it's 00:02:31.150 --> 00:02:34.710 like dripping blood and he's just like totally 00:02:34.710 --> 00:02:38.009 fine. He like cried for a minute or two but was 00:02:38.009 --> 00:02:40.550 totally fine. It's actually the perfect amount 00:02:40.550 --> 00:02:42.729 because it's enough to be like okay you're not 00:02:42.729 --> 00:02:45.370 like if you're not really hurt right now. If 00:02:45.370 --> 00:02:48.659 you don't get that's my big thing when Lloyd 00:02:48.659 --> 00:02:50.520 gets hurt and like, I want you to cry because 00:02:50.520 --> 00:02:52.400 that means I know it's not like a serious head 00:02:52.400 --> 00:02:54.419 injury or something. If you don't cry, that's 00:02:54.419 --> 00:02:56.780 concerning. Yeah. But also I don't want, if you 00:02:56.780 --> 00:02:58.960 keep crying, that's also concerning. So they'll 00:02:58.960 --> 00:03:00.900 like cry for a minute and then you move on. I'm 00:03:00.900 --> 00:03:03.560 like, Oh, I know you're okay. Yeah. And he like 00:03:03.560 --> 00:03:06.300 didn't want us to like wipe the blood off, of 00:03:06.300 --> 00:03:09.520 course, but we had to like hold him down to do 00:03:09.520 --> 00:03:13.719 it. But yeah, it was in that moment. It was just 00:03:13.719 --> 00:03:17.080 chaos of me, like trying to still feed the baby. 00:03:17.900 --> 00:03:22.960 Colt's face planting over here, and my dad grabbed 00:03:22.960 --> 00:03:26.379 Colt after he face planted and tried to distract 00:03:26.379 --> 00:03:31.000 him with the monkeys. But my dad took him away 00:03:31.000 --> 00:03:34.340 from Michael and I to do that, and that just 00:03:34.340 --> 00:03:38.860 made it worse at that time. And so I told Michael, 00:03:38.919 --> 00:03:41.099 I was like, Michael, go get Colt, because he's 00:03:41.099 --> 00:03:43.560 just going to keep... He's crying because he 00:03:43.560 --> 00:03:46.759 just doesn't want to... be away from us. Yeah. 00:03:47.539 --> 00:03:51.259 And so he like runs to go get him. And then Cruz 00:03:51.259 --> 00:03:53.840 is like spitting up all over me because he's 00:03:53.840 --> 00:03:57.539 got reflux. And so it was just chaos. But like 00:03:57.539 --> 00:03:59.479 usually in those moments like that, I'm like, 00:03:59.719 --> 00:04:02.180 oh my God, this is the worst. Like I get so anxious 00:04:02.180 --> 00:04:05.080 and I want to like get out of there. But it was 00:04:05.080 --> 00:04:08.520 so like the zoo was so fun that like I was like. 00:04:08.699 --> 00:04:11.139 I just was like in bliss. I was like, you know 00:04:11.139 --> 00:04:14.039 what? This is fine. It's all fine. And like, 00:04:14.120 --> 00:04:16.180 cool. It skipped his nap. And so we were like, 00:04:16.560 --> 00:04:20.779 you know, we had a fun day and then he like conked 00:04:20.779 --> 00:04:23.560 out on the way home. Of course. But it just like 00:04:23.560 --> 00:04:26.800 that day was just a really fun day. No, like 00:04:26.800 --> 00:04:30.050 huge. Also as a side note the zoo has like two 00:04:30.050 --> 00:04:33.470 or maybe even three or four Like nursing pod 00:04:33.470 --> 00:04:36.350 areas. Oh, yeah, which is so great. Yeah, that's 00:04:36.350 --> 00:04:39.129 super smart. Yes. Yeah Yeah, I saw this real 00:04:39.129 --> 00:04:42.810 the other day cuz like I'll like try to cover 00:04:42.810 --> 00:04:46.310 up most of the time depending on where I am Just 00:04:46.310 --> 00:04:49.149 like I don't really care but for other people 00:04:49.149 --> 00:04:51.870 to I don't know to not feel uncomfortable or 00:04:51.870 --> 00:04:55.959 whatever but I saw this real of like you um under 00:04:55.959 --> 00:04:57.959 the cover it can get up in the summer it can 00:04:57.959 --> 00:05:00.779 get up to like 118 degrees yeah under there and 00:05:00.779 --> 00:05:04.120 i was like okay well yeah i'm not gonna do that 00:05:04.120 --> 00:05:06.680 anymore my kids never eat well when they're covered 00:05:06.680 --> 00:05:10.000 up either yeah i mean i wouldn't want to yeah 00:05:10.000 --> 00:05:13.279 eat like that so yeah i get it what is your mom 00:05:13.279 --> 00:05:16.240 moment so this week has been super super well 00:05:16.240 --> 00:05:18.079 we had a couple of rainy days and we started 00:05:18.079 --> 00:05:20.079 doing walks then because we were all losing our 00:05:20.079 --> 00:05:22.160 mind but then it's also been it started to get 00:05:22.160 --> 00:05:24.740 really nice this week And Lloyd has picked up 00:05:24.740 --> 00:05:27.819 a habit of when we go on a walk, he'll find a 00:05:27.819 --> 00:05:31.500 rock, like just a normal sized rock, and he'll 00:05:31.500 --> 00:05:34.639 hold it for the entirety of the walk. That's 00:05:34.639 --> 00:05:36.600 so cute. And then set it down when we get home. 00:05:37.180 --> 00:05:40.899 And he's done this. He doesn't do anything with 00:05:40.899 --> 00:05:44.120 it. He just wants to hold it. He's done this, 00:05:44.160 --> 00:05:47.040 I guess, only twice now, but it's really funny. 00:05:47.100 --> 00:05:50.519 So we started calling it his walk rock. Walk 00:05:50.519 --> 00:05:54.290 rock. But it's... It seems like it's his routine 00:05:54.290 --> 00:05:57.509 now. If we pass by an area of the neighborhood 00:05:57.509 --> 00:05:59.990 that has rocks, he has to pick one up. He picks 00:05:59.990 --> 00:06:02.810 it up. And then once we get back home, he wants 00:06:02.810 --> 00:06:06.209 to put it back. And it's super cute and so funny. 00:06:06.430 --> 00:06:10.089 And I don't know what he wants to do with it. 00:06:10.269 --> 00:06:11.889 Because he literally just holds it the whole 00:06:11.889 --> 00:06:18.389 time. And I don't know why. a basket of them 00:06:18.389 --> 00:06:20.209 that you just collect over the years and be like, 00:06:20.310 --> 00:06:22.750 here's all the walk rocks that you've collected. 00:06:23.350 --> 00:06:26.449 That's amazing. So funny. I love that. Well, 00:06:26.529 --> 00:06:28.930 today we're going to like Erica mentioned, we're 00:06:28.930 --> 00:06:31.490 going to talk about just some like some tips 00:06:31.490 --> 00:06:34.610 or advice that we have for new moms, things we've 00:06:34.610 --> 00:06:37.209 learned, things we've learned, things maybe we're 00:06:37.209 --> 00:06:40.990 still working on. But hopefully, yeah, if you're 00:06:40.990 --> 00:06:43.089 a new mom or maybe you're not, maybe you can 00:06:43.089 --> 00:06:45.250 get a little something out of today. Yeah, send 00:06:45.250 --> 00:06:49.209 this to an expecting mom. Mm hmm. Yeah. Do you 00:06:49.209 --> 00:06:51.870 want to hop right into maybe one of your years 00:06:51.870 --> 00:06:53.569 that you thought about? Yeah. So one of the ones 00:06:53.569 --> 00:06:57.029 that I thought about is babies are really noisy 00:06:57.029 --> 00:06:59.449 sleepers, and I don't feel like people talk about 00:06:59.449 --> 00:07:02.170 this enough. No. Where it's like, I think we 00:07:02.170 --> 00:07:03.829 talked about this in a different episode. Yeah. 00:07:04.029 --> 00:07:06.250 But. It's almost like having a sleep talker in 00:07:06.250 --> 00:07:08.649 your room. Yes. They're not speaking yet. So 00:07:08.649 --> 00:07:11.009 they're just like little grunts and cries and 00:07:11.009 --> 00:07:13.050 all of this. And it's super easy to wake your 00:07:13.050 --> 00:07:16.029 baby up. I know for Lloyd, there are multiple 00:07:16.029 --> 00:07:17.949 times like looking back, I can go, oh, there 00:07:17.949 --> 00:07:20.189 are a bunch of times that he wasn't awake and 00:07:20.189 --> 00:07:22.829 he and I woke him up because he was being noisy 00:07:22.829 --> 00:07:24.930 and I assumed he needed something. Yeah. And 00:07:24.930 --> 00:07:27.189 that's been. easier for me this time around to 00:07:27.189 --> 00:07:29.149 be like, oh, okay. Like I'm going to wait until 00:07:29.149 --> 00:07:31.430 you start crying until I can tell you're awake 00:07:31.430 --> 00:07:35.670 till you're looking at me in the eye. So that's 00:07:35.670 --> 00:07:38.430 my first one is babies are super noisy sleepers. 00:07:38.449 --> 00:07:40.529 Yeah. Going off of that one, I just thought of 00:07:40.529 --> 00:07:45.699 was to use red lights at night. So we have the 00:07:45.699 --> 00:07:49.319 hatch sound machine, which we love. So we use, 00:07:49.339 --> 00:07:51.579 we actually use brown noise instead of white 00:07:51.579 --> 00:07:54.160 noise. It's a little more. Yeah. Yeah. It's a 00:07:54.160 --> 00:07:57.319 little less harsh. I feel like, but then the 00:07:57.319 --> 00:07:59.459 hatch sound machine can also light up to like 00:07:59.459 --> 00:08:02.779 any color. And we read something about like the 00:08:02.779 --> 00:08:06.360 red light is actually. makes your brain not stop 00:08:06.360 --> 00:08:09.319 producing melatonin and I know with babies they're 00:08:09.319 --> 00:08:11.839 like they're not really producing melatonin until 00:08:11.839 --> 00:08:14.500 a certain point but it also helps with your circadian 00:08:14.500 --> 00:08:18.060 rhythm yes yeah and so we actually have on our 00:08:18.060 --> 00:08:20.699 nightstands we have two lamps both of those are 00:08:20.699 --> 00:08:23.360 smart bulbs and then we also have our hatch sound 00:08:23.360 --> 00:08:26.240 machine so at night when I have to feed I just 00:08:26.240 --> 00:08:29.019 turn on like the red light. Um, so I can still 00:08:29.019 --> 00:08:32.299 see, I can still do diaper change fine, but it's 00:08:32.299 --> 00:08:35.039 also not like the harsh light of like the white 00:08:35.039 --> 00:08:37.340 light. That's right. Yeah. We have smart bulbs 00:08:37.340 --> 00:08:39.960 in our room too. And that's been so nice because 00:08:39.960 --> 00:08:42.299 you can, and you can keep it super low. Yeah. 00:08:42.440 --> 00:08:44.659 Yeah. Maybe that's another piece of advice. Yeah. 00:08:44.919 --> 00:08:46.559 Smart bulbs for your bedroom at night. Yeah. 00:08:46.759 --> 00:08:49.840 You can adjust it to like 1%. So it's barely 00:08:49.840 --> 00:08:51.840 on, but enough that you can see what's going 00:08:51.840 --> 00:08:55.299 on. Then it doesn't. wake up the baby or mess 00:08:55.299 --> 00:08:57.559 with your brain or whatever. Yeah, it's nice 00:08:57.559 --> 00:09:00.659 because I can adjust it to from my phone. And 00:09:00.659 --> 00:09:04.080 so I just like I'll like open up if I hear like 00:09:04.080 --> 00:09:06.500 him awake, I'll like open up my app real quick 00:09:06.500 --> 00:09:09.179 and I'll just like turn it on. So it's not like 00:09:09.179 --> 00:09:12.279 a whole like, Alexa, turn the right turn the 00:09:12.279 --> 00:09:17.320 red lights. Yeah. Yeah, that's my advice. My 00:09:17.320 --> 00:09:20.360 next one is, and this is another thing. I don't 00:09:20.360 --> 00:09:22.519 know why they don't just tell you this, but babies 00:09:22.519 --> 00:09:24.960 don't realize that they're separate from you. 00:09:25.039 --> 00:09:26.639 I want to say for the first like six months, 00:09:26.740 --> 00:09:28.379 I don't remember the exact timeframe. And I think 00:09:28.379 --> 00:09:30.240 it's probably a little bit different for each 00:09:30.240 --> 00:09:32.759 baby, but it's like at least the first six months, 00:09:32.779 --> 00:09:35.179 they don't realize that like you weren't, they 00:09:35.179 --> 00:09:38.519 are no longer attached to their mom. So that 00:09:38.519 --> 00:09:41.240 just like explains so much about why they want 00:09:41.240 --> 00:09:43.480 to constantly be touching you and why a lot of 00:09:43.480 --> 00:09:46.740 times like. dad or grandma or whoever can do 00:09:46.740 --> 00:09:49.620 everything to try to comfort them and it won't 00:09:49.620 --> 00:09:51.720 work. And then the second they're in your arms, 00:09:52.279 --> 00:09:54.120 it's like they feel like they're missing a limb 00:09:54.120 --> 00:09:56.159 if they're away from you, which is kind of crazy. 00:09:56.759 --> 00:10:03.139 But it's so true. For me, too, I don't feel separate 00:10:03.139 --> 00:10:05.960 from him also. I feel like it kind of goes both 00:10:05.960 --> 00:10:09.740 ways. For sure. You've grown this human for nine 00:10:09.740 --> 00:10:14.100 -ish months. now they're just like outside of 00:10:14.100 --> 00:10:16.820 you in a separate being than you, but you feel 00:10:16.820 --> 00:10:20.659 so emotionally connected. And also the anxiety 00:10:20.659 --> 00:10:24.399 of like leaving your newborn isn't weird. Like 00:10:24.399 --> 00:10:26.460 your body's telling you something of like, no, 00:10:26.580 --> 00:10:28.820 you should, you still feel like you're attached 00:10:28.820 --> 00:10:32.299 to this little person. So yeah, it's not as crazy 00:10:32.299 --> 00:10:36.960 as it feels like it is. No. Okay. My next advice 00:10:36.960 --> 00:10:40.440 is you're not doing it wrong. It's just hard. 00:10:40.830 --> 00:10:44.710 I feel like this, like oftentimes new moms like 00:10:44.710 --> 00:10:48.809 get so totally in their head of like, oh, well, 00:10:48.990 --> 00:10:51.370 the baby won't stop crying. I must be doing something 00:10:51.370 --> 00:10:54.870 wrong rather than like, you know, it's just a 00:10:54.870 --> 00:10:57.250 hard hour or a hard moment or it's the witching 00:10:57.250 --> 00:10:59.750 hour or whatever. You're just having a day. Yeah. 00:11:00.669 --> 00:11:04.409 So advice of just like motherhood is hard. You're 00:11:04.409 --> 00:11:06.669 going to figure out what's going to work for 00:11:06.669 --> 00:11:09.460 your kids and what's not going to work. And it's 00:11:09.460 --> 00:11:12.539 a lot of trial and error. But ultimately, you're 00:11:12.539 --> 00:11:16.539 not doing it wrong. It's just it's hard in general. 00:11:16.539 --> 00:11:19.639 And that's what our podcast is about. Yeah, I 00:11:19.639 --> 00:11:21.940 think I have one that kind of goes with that 00:11:21.940 --> 00:11:26.759 really well is it's also OK to complain. I think 00:11:26.759 --> 00:11:29.700 a lot of times like we all hear the advice of 00:11:29.700 --> 00:11:32.539 like, oh, enjoy it. It goes so fast. And being 00:11:32.539 --> 00:11:34.740 like a little bit into motherhood now, I'm like, 00:11:34.759 --> 00:11:37.519 it does go fast. But there are also things that 00:11:37.519 --> 00:11:40.960 you don't miss. Yeah. Like you don't miss the 00:11:40.960 --> 00:11:43.399 sleepless nights and not knowing what your baby 00:11:43.399 --> 00:11:45.639 needs and them just screaming and you not knowing 00:11:45.639 --> 00:11:49.039 what it is. There are parts you do miss. So, 00:11:49.360 --> 00:11:51.139 I mean, I think I would say there's like a balance 00:11:51.139 --> 00:11:53.360 of like, it's definitely OK to complain sometimes, 00:11:53.360 --> 00:11:56.399 but also don't make it like everything. All you're 00:11:56.399 --> 00:11:58.000 doing is complaining because that makes it really 00:11:58.000 --> 00:12:01.320 easy to miss. the beautiful little moments that 00:12:01.320 --> 00:12:04.759 aren't hard, or the joy in the hard moments. 00:12:05.480 --> 00:12:07.220 But yeah, it's okay to complain because it is 00:12:07.220 --> 00:12:11.299 hard. Yeah, I think an example of that for me 00:12:11.299 --> 00:12:15.080 right now, so Colt had reflex really bad, and 00:12:15.080 --> 00:12:18.320 now Cruz has reflex. And it's not as bad, but 00:12:18.320 --> 00:12:21.120 I think with Colt, I just like, I was so worried 00:12:21.120 --> 00:12:23.950 or... or complaining about it all the time about 00:12:23.950 --> 00:12:27.070 like how many outfits I had to change, how all 00:12:27.070 --> 00:12:30.070 of my shirts got ruined because there's all this 00:12:30.070 --> 00:12:34.909 spit up on me. And it really like now this time 00:12:34.909 --> 00:12:37.149 around with Cruz, it's like, you know what? It 00:12:37.149 --> 00:12:39.789 is what it is. I don't feel like it's that big 00:12:39.789 --> 00:12:43.750 of a deal. Yeah, I feel like rather than wallowing 00:12:43.750 --> 00:12:48.169 in the complaining, I'm able to like enjoy the 00:12:48.169 --> 00:12:51.090 moments of. Yeah. Yeah. Even if he does spit 00:12:51.090 --> 00:12:53.129 up all over me, it's like a funny thing rather 00:12:53.129 --> 00:12:56.909 than than a rather than allowing it to be the 00:12:56.909 --> 00:12:59.110 thing that ruins your day. Yeah. Yeah. I think 00:12:59.110 --> 00:13:02.850 I just like spent a lot of time with Cole like 00:13:02.850 --> 00:13:06.429 complaining about it or or worrying about it. 00:13:06.450 --> 00:13:10.250 Yeah. Next advice. Let go of the highlight reel. 00:13:10.669 --> 00:13:13.730 So ultimately this means just like you're going 00:13:13.730 --> 00:13:17.379 to compare yourself to other moms, whether it's 00:13:17.379 --> 00:13:19.259 on Instagram, whether it's someone you see at 00:13:19.259 --> 00:13:24.059 the park. And that comparison game is so, so 00:13:24.059 --> 00:13:27.700 prevalent. And you really need to just be intentional 00:13:27.700 --> 00:13:31.980 about like, letting go of the basically all the 00:13:31.980 --> 00:13:34.059 beautiful reels that you see on Instagram of 00:13:34.059 --> 00:13:38.100 like, my morning as a mom of two under two. And 00:13:38.100 --> 00:13:41.649 it's like, Oh, we read our Bibles together and 00:13:41.649 --> 00:13:46.309 we had a beautiful breakfast outside with your 00:13:46.309 --> 00:13:51.169 waffle cut into the shape of stars. And ultimately 00:13:51.169 --> 00:13:54.110 like that comparison game can, you just need 00:13:54.110 --> 00:13:56.690 to try to let it go because that's not the reality 00:13:56.690 --> 00:13:59.730 that we, most of us are living in. Yeah. Yeah. 00:13:59.809 --> 00:14:02.350 And you might have days when that's your, like, 00:14:02.509 --> 00:14:05.009 when I even look at those, one of the things 00:14:05.009 --> 00:14:07.870 I've tried to think about is like, There are 00:14:07.870 --> 00:14:10.129 those days that are like everything's going really 00:14:10.129 --> 00:14:11.750 well Everyone woke up in a good mood and we did 00:14:11.750 --> 00:14:14.370 everything right and then the very next day you're 00:14:14.370 --> 00:14:16.690 like and it's the opposite we're all screaming 00:14:16.690 --> 00:14:21.250 and crying because we didn't sleep well and And 00:14:21.250 --> 00:14:25.070 and and yeah, so yeah, I like that a lot. Yeah, 00:14:25.190 --> 00:14:27.210 okay This is kind of just complete different 00:14:27.210 --> 00:14:30.309 direction, but there's a company there are two 00:14:30.309 --> 00:14:32.590 companies there's one called sparrow sleeps and 00:14:32.590 --> 00:14:36.970 another called rockabye baby and they make lullabies 00:14:36.970 --> 00:14:41.169 for babies out of so Swear Asleeps does current 00:14:41.169 --> 00:14:44.409 music and like some alt rock stuff. It's like 00:14:44.409 --> 00:14:47.389 we have their Blink 182 album and they have a 00:14:47.389 --> 00:14:50.049 Taylor Swift album and they have I think they 00:14:50.049 --> 00:14:51.769 have Green Day a bunch of stuff and then Rock 00:14:51.769 --> 00:14:55.629 by Baby does classic rock in lullaby form. So 00:14:55.629 --> 00:14:57.970 that's what we have for Lloyd for his like nighttime 00:14:57.970 --> 00:15:01.990 sleep. I love it is just like some classic songs 00:15:01.990 --> 00:15:05.149 that we enjoy in lullaby form. It's really fun 00:15:05.149 --> 00:15:08.100 and It's like fun for the whole family. It's 00:15:08.100 --> 00:15:10.419 fun for the whole family, exactly. That's amazing. 00:15:11.120 --> 00:15:14.539 Yeah, we sadly did not know about that until 00:15:14.539 --> 00:15:17.580 I feel like it's too late, you know. You can 00:15:17.580 --> 00:15:20.179 use it for your cruise. Yeah, exactly, exactly. 00:15:20.240 --> 00:15:25.000 But we're full on, full on Miss Rachel people, 00:15:25.360 --> 00:15:29.340 which it is what it is. OK, next one is, you 00:15:29.340 --> 00:15:33.080 know your baby best. And this is just, I mean, 00:15:33.080 --> 00:15:36.519 I think all of us know this, but like, good reminder 00:15:36.519 --> 00:15:39.419 of just like Ultimately, we do know our baby 00:15:39.419 --> 00:15:41.539 best. There's gonna be outside voices that come 00:15:41.539 --> 00:15:44.980 in all the time Whether it's parents friends 00:15:44.980 --> 00:15:48.480 or even online again or even like this is maybe 00:15:48.480 --> 00:15:50.639 a little bit of a hot take But even doctors sometimes 00:15:50.639 --> 00:15:52.860 yeah, this isn't anything against doctors, but 00:15:52.860 --> 00:15:54.620 a lot of times they're just like this is the 00:15:54.620 --> 00:15:57.149 statistic, but you know, you're they go on a 00:15:57.149 --> 00:15:58.730 statistic and you're like, no, but I grew this 00:15:58.730 --> 00:16:01.309 baby. Yeah. You're like, and I live with them 00:16:01.309 --> 00:16:04.929 every single day. Yep. Yep. You have that intuition 00:16:04.929 --> 00:16:09.529 and yeah, you know, your baby best. So whether 00:16:09.529 --> 00:16:13.590 you're having to be their best advocate or really 00:16:13.590 --> 00:16:16.850 just stick up for yourself in a moment of criticism, 00:16:17.509 --> 00:16:19.129 you know, you know what's best for your baby. 00:16:19.440 --> 00:16:22.259 Yeah. Yeah. I'd say the next piece of advice 00:16:22.259 --> 00:16:25.120 kind of goes off of that, which is not all advice 00:16:25.120 --> 00:16:26.779 and recommendations will work for you and your 00:16:26.779 --> 00:16:30.320 baby. Like you can try stuff that doesn't mean 00:16:30.320 --> 00:16:32.860 to just ignore advice. And I mean, that's even 00:16:32.860 --> 00:16:35.440 we're giving you a whole podcast of advice. So 00:16:35.440 --> 00:16:37.799 we're probably going to say things that just 00:16:37.799 --> 00:16:43.269 don't work for you. I know one for me was. there's 00:16:43.269 --> 00:16:45.830 always been the advice right now of like, you 00:16:45.830 --> 00:16:47.789 should put your baby down, drowsy, but awake. 00:16:47.830 --> 00:16:49.610 And that hasn't worked for either of my kids. 00:16:50.269 --> 00:16:52.190 And with Lloyd, that was really hard because 00:16:52.190 --> 00:16:55.029 I felt like I had to do that. And if I didn't, 00:16:55.149 --> 00:16:56.850 I would like ruin our entire lives. And he was 00:16:56.850 --> 00:16:59.389 never going to sleep by himself. Same until finally 00:16:59.389 --> 00:17:01.669 I let go of that. And we just figured out what 00:17:01.669 --> 00:17:04.430 worked best for him. And then Zeta, because I 00:17:04.430 --> 00:17:06.750 know it didn't work for Lloyd, I tried it a couple 00:17:06.750 --> 00:17:08.150 of times. And when it didn't work, I'm like, 00:17:08.230 --> 00:17:10.289 OK. You know what? Yeah, it didn't work for her 00:17:10.289 --> 00:17:13.869 either. And now we're moving on. So I think just 00:17:13.869 --> 00:17:16.130 like letting go of the pressure and especially 00:17:16.130 --> 00:17:20.609 like we live in an age of so much information, 00:17:20.630 --> 00:17:24.269 which can be super helpful, but then you can 00:17:24.269 --> 00:17:27.430 scroll on Instagram for like 30 seconds and have 00:17:27.430 --> 00:17:29.809 seven different people give you seven different 00:17:29.809 --> 00:17:32.869 pieces of advice for the exact same thing. And 00:17:32.869 --> 00:17:36.289 it is very stressful sometimes. Again, it can 00:17:36.289 --> 00:17:39.920 be helpful, but They don't know your kid. So 00:17:39.920 --> 00:17:43.099 you can try it. And if it doesn't work, then 00:17:43.099 --> 00:17:45.420 figure out what does work for you. Yeah. And 00:17:45.420 --> 00:17:47.339 don't feel like your baby's broken or you're 00:17:47.339 --> 00:17:49.980 doing something wrong because this piece of advice 00:17:49.980 --> 00:17:52.500 you got isn't working for you guys. Yeah. Yeah. 00:17:52.779 --> 00:17:55.119 Yeah. I totally felt the same way about, especially 00:17:55.119 --> 00:17:58.039 with first baby of like, Oh, I need to follow 00:17:58.039 --> 00:18:00.839 all these wake windows, follow the drowsy, but 00:18:00.839 --> 00:18:04.890 awake or yeah, drowsy, but awake guideline. And 00:18:04.890 --> 00:18:07.809 it just, it ended up in tears most of the time 00:18:07.809 --> 00:18:11.990 of like, you know, his wake window was, was an 00:18:11.990 --> 00:18:15.170 hour versus two hours. And now it's going to 00:18:15.170 --> 00:18:17.170 screw up the rest of the schedule for the day 00:18:17.170 --> 00:18:19.730 and bedtime is going to be earlier and blah, 00:18:19.910 --> 00:18:22.509 blah, blah. And you, yeah, you've got to just 00:18:22.509 --> 00:18:25.190 figure out what works for you. For sure. Yeah. 00:18:25.630 --> 00:18:28.710 Okay. Next one. This one was so hard for me and 00:18:28.710 --> 00:18:30.589 is actually still hard for me. So I need to take 00:18:30.589 --> 00:18:33.839 this advice is asking for help. and then actually 00:18:33.839 --> 00:18:37.640 taking the help. We talked about this on a podcast 00:18:37.640 --> 00:18:43.200 a while ago about like postpartum needs and asking 00:18:43.200 --> 00:18:45.920 for help. And that was just something I like. 00:18:45.960 --> 00:18:49.220 I don't ask for help in general, especially in 00:18:49.220 --> 00:18:52.220 postpartum. I think I've had a hard time asking 00:18:52.220 --> 00:18:55.759 for help. But when I do and then I actually take 00:18:55.759 --> 00:18:59.970 it, it's like a game changer. For me, I don't 00:18:59.970 --> 00:19:02.490 know if you feel that way, too. Yeah, no, I would 00:19:02.490 --> 00:19:04.250 agree when I think one of the hard things about 00:19:04.250 --> 00:19:07.450 asking for help, like when you have kids and 00:19:07.450 --> 00:19:10.089 you have babies is a lot of what you need help 00:19:10.089 --> 00:19:13.529 with is a lot more like intimate is maybe the 00:19:13.529 --> 00:19:15.789 best word. You know, it's not just, you know, 00:19:15.930 --> 00:19:18.990 it's like, hey, I can you run to the grocery 00:19:18.990 --> 00:19:21.470 store for me? Yeah. Or something like that. You 00:19:21.470 --> 00:19:24.130 fold my laundry. Sorry, you have to fold my underwear. 00:19:24.470 --> 00:19:29.380 But right. Yeah, that it's. is a lot more vulnerable 00:19:29.380 --> 00:19:31.400 maybe of the kind of help you need. It's not 00:19:31.400 --> 00:19:34.819 just generic, but yeah, I'm the same way where 00:19:34.819 --> 00:19:36.420 it's like, I'm not gonna ask you for help. And 00:19:36.420 --> 00:19:38.420 then when people offer my natural instincts saying, 00:19:38.440 --> 00:19:41.079 no, it's fine, I got it. But then every time 00:19:41.079 --> 00:19:45.500 I do accept, I'm like, oh, I'm so glad that you 00:19:45.500 --> 00:19:47.779 came over and helped with that. I'm so appreciative. 00:19:48.079 --> 00:19:51.400 So appreciative. My day is so much easier because 00:19:51.400 --> 00:19:54.319 I did let you run to the grocery store for me 00:19:54.319 --> 00:19:59.849 or... Whatever that may be. Yeah This is another 00:19:59.849 --> 00:20:02.250 just kind of random one. I've always had a hard 00:20:02.250 --> 00:20:04.809 time getting my kids enough tummy time Oh gosh. 00:20:05.349 --> 00:20:07.130 Yeah, especially in the early days when they 00:20:07.130 --> 00:20:09.430 like really hate it and they just like cry the 00:20:09.430 --> 00:20:11.750 whole time But one piece of advice I got that 00:20:11.750 --> 00:20:14.849 was super helpful especially for the first like 00:20:14.849 --> 00:20:18.910 probably two months is after every diaper change, 00:20:19.289 --> 00:20:21.950 assuming you have time, do like a minute of tummy 00:20:21.950 --> 00:20:25.430 time. Now you don't have to do a super long amount, 00:20:25.609 --> 00:20:28.369 even like 30 seconds in the first month is great 00:20:28.369 --> 00:20:30.470 because you're changing a lot of diapers. So 00:20:30.470 --> 00:20:32.509 it's like if you do a minute for every diaper 00:20:32.509 --> 00:20:36.029 change every day or even half your diaper changes 00:20:36.029 --> 00:20:39.269 in a day, it's like, oh, you're going to get 00:20:39.269 --> 00:20:42.809 maybe not quite to the goal that they give you 00:20:42.809 --> 00:20:46.210 or whatever, but it does add up and it makes 00:20:46.210 --> 00:20:48.430 a big difference. And then you're not just like 00:20:48.430 --> 00:20:51.849 sitting there waiting for them to not cry or 00:20:51.849 --> 00:20:53.329 sitting there watching them cry while they do 00:20:53.329 --> 00:20:56.150 tummy time or whatever. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. That's 00:20:56.150 --> 00:20:58.509 so true. Tummy time. That was one of those things 00:20:58.509 --> 00:21:00.789 that I was like on Instagram. It tells you like, 00:21:01.069 --> 00:21:04.150 Oh, at this age they need this much tummy. Yeah. 00:21:04.609 --> 00:21:09.029 And that was something that Colt hate. He hated 00:21:09.029 --> 00:21:13.099 tummy time for a very long time. And so I like 00:21:13.099 --> 00:21:16.460 avoided it like the plague. And that's really 00:21:16.460 --> 00:21:19.099 good advice for after a diaper changes. Yeah, 00:21:19.220 --> 00:21:20.940 that's it was super helpful for Lloyd because 00:21:20.940 --> 00:21:24.240 he also hated tummy time. They just done a little 00:21:24.240 --> 00:21:26.619 bit better. Now, again, especially the first 00:21:26.619 --> 00:21:28.079 few months, once they once they can actually 00:21:28.079 --> 00:21:30.299 start holding their head up, then then it's fine. 00:21:30.480 --> 00:21:33.380 Then I mean, I would hate it, too. Yeah. You 00:21:33.380 --> 00:21:36.619 know, of like someone forcing me on my stomach. 00:21:36.619 --> 00:21:39.220 Yeah. Here, do a push up whether you like it 00:21:39.220 --> 00:21:43.900 or not. Yeah, exactly. Okay, my next advice is 00:21:43.900 --> 00:21:47.920 to sleep or clean or relax when the baby sleeps 00:21:47.920 --> 00:21:51.299 and I I feel like You hear sleep when the baby 00:21:51.299 --> 00:21:54.359 sleeps Like that's all the advice. That's like 00:21:54.359 --> 00:21:56.579 the most advice I probably got was like that 00:21:56.579 --> 00:21:59.200 phrase sleep when the baby sleeps like the thing 00:21:59.200 --> 00:22:03.220 that I have kind of realized with this is if 00:22:03.220 --> 00:22:06.339 you can When you get to nap time figure out the 00:22:06.339 --> 00:22:09.380 thing that's gonna make you feel the best if 00:22:09.380 --> 00:22:11.039 you can only get one thing done in that nap time. 00:22:11.299 --> 00:22:12.779 And there are definitely times when it's like 00:22:12.779 --> 00:22:15.559 sleeping is like, I'm going to lose it if I don't 00:22:15.559 --> 00:22:18.940 get a nap. But then like for me this week, there 00:22:18.940 --> 00:22:21.779 was one day I was super tired, but also like 00:22:21.779 --> 00:22:25.029 the dishes were stacking up and yeah. when I 00:22:25.029 --> 00:22:26.789 walked across the kitchen floor, crumbs got on 00:22:26.789 --> 00:22:28.569 my feet because that's how long it had been since 00:22:28.569 --> 00:22:31.670 I swept and like all the things. So I was like, 00:22:31.670 --> 00:22:33.130 you know, I'm just going to drink a little more 00:22:33.130 --> 00:22:36.250 caffeine today and get this done. And because 00:22:36.250 --> 00:22:37.849 then you're going to feel better about it rather 00:22:37.849 --> 00:22:39.869 than. And there are so many things that you need 00:22:39.869 --> 00:22:44.109 to do. So, yeah, figure out like what thing is 00:22:44.109 --> 00:22:47.190 going to be best for like this nap time. Yeah, 00:22:47.349 --> 00:22:50.170 that'll also because that'll also make you a 00:22:50.170 --> 00:22:53.250 more present and a better mom because you can. 00:22:53.519 --> 00:22:55.720 Cause you're feeling more yourself. Yeah. I've 00:22:55.720 --> 00:22:58.960 actually found like that a lot of, if I take 00:22:58.960 --> 00:23:02.000 a nap, I'm actually in like a worse state after. 00:23:02.000 --> 00:23:05.299 Sometimes I just need to like power through and 00:23:05.299 --> 00:23:08.680 just make it to bedtime and that actually sitting 00:23:08.680 --> 00:23:11.359 and like vegging out on the couch or, or trying 00:23:11.359 --> 00:23:13.500 to get some chores done, some laundry folded 00:23:13.500 --> 00:23:15.319 or whatever. Reading your book that you actually 00:23:15.319 --> 00:23:17.319 enjoy or something like that. It's actually better 00:23:17.319 --> 00:23:20.839 for my soul than a nap. I would agree. Yeah. 00:23:21.579 --> 00:23:26.319 All right, next one is use your baby wrap or 00:23:26.319 --> 00:23:30.220 baby carrier as much as possible. Again, especially 00:23:30.220 --> 00:23:32.440 early days, they literally think they're a part 00:23:32.440 --> 00:23:34.880 of you, so that helps. And then you can get things 00:23:34.880 --> 00:23:36.519 done. Not that it's all about getting things 00:23:36.519 --> 00:23:38.880 done, but again, sometimes you're like, I need 00:23:38.880 --> 00:23:41.880 this for me to like have a clean kitchen. So 00:23:41.880 --> 00:23:44.599 if you can put your baby in the wrap and then 00:23:44.599 --> 00:23:48.539 clean your kitchen or go on a walk or whatever 00:23:48.539 --> 00:23:52.210 that looks like for you also. uh for grocery 00:23:52.210 --> 00:23:54.349 shopping that makes a huge difference because 00:23:54.349 --> 00:23:56.769 then your car seat doesn't take up the entire 00:23:56.769 --> 00:23:59.990 cart yeah that is that is wild with two kids 00:23:59.990 --> 00:24:02.849 like we've done it a few times where we have 00:24:02.849 --> 00:24:06.309 like colt in the in the scene yeah in the actual 00:24:06.309 --> 00:24:09.299 seat of the shopping cart and then cruise in 00:24:09.299 --> 00:24:11.599 the car seat in the basket and I'm like putting 00:24:11.599 --> 00:24:14.799 the groceries underneath the or we're taking 00:24:14.799 --> 00:24:18.119 a second cart. I'm like, this is ridiculous. 00:24:18.720 --> 00:24:21.839 Yeah. Yeah. So maybe while grocery shopping for 00:24:21.839 --> 00:24:23.759 sure. Yeah. But also, yeah, just like around 00:24:23.759 --> 00:24:27.079 the house, it makes it easier to your hands free. 00:24:27.079 --> 00:24:29.440 So it's like, oh, you can read your book or you 00:24:29.440 --> 00:24:32.119 can do dishes or you can do the thing that you 00:24:32.119 --> 00:24:34.119 feel like you need to do. Yeah. Your makeup, 00:24:34.279 --> 00:24:39.609 whatever that is. Exactly. OK. Next advice. Your 00:24:39.609 --> 00:24:42.349 baby needs a present mom, not a perfect one. 00:24:42.410 --> 00:24:46.109 And I feel like this is so cliche. But ultimately, 00:24:46.410 --> 00:24:50.509 like, you're going to have difficult days. You're 00:24:50.509 --> 00:24:54.210 going to. Yeah, I feel like one thing that like 00:24:54.210 --> 00:24:57.490 I grew up with and my mom is an amazing mom. 00:24:57.910 --> 00:25:00.130 But I feel like when she was having a hard day, 00:25:00.130 --> 00:25:03.009 she tried not to show us like she would hide 00:25:03.009 --> 00:25:06.289 it from us. And ultimately, I feel like that 00:25:06.289 --> 00:25:09.920 like Not that that harmed us in any sense, but 00:25:09.920 --> 00:25:13.819 I feel like that we really needed her to just 00:25:13.819 --> 00:25:17.599 Be present and not like she could show us the 00:25:17.599 --> 00:25:21.119 real like yeah who she actually was and not be 00:25:21.119 --> 00:25:24.779 perfect And so I think that ultimately like whether 00:25:24.779 --> 00:25:27.819 you're a new mom or you've been a mom for a while 00:25:27.819 --> 00:25:31.099 Your kid like your kids just need you to be present. 00:25:31.099 --> 00:25:36.059 Mm -hmm. Obviously like you need to hit certain 00:25:36.059 --> 00:25:40.259 standards as a mom, but like you don't need to 00:25:40.259 --> 00:25:43.259 be perfect by any means. Yeah. Yeah. I think 00:25:43.259 --> 00:25:45.059 if you strive for that, you're just going to, 00:25:45.259 --> 00:25:48.000 you're going to kill yourself trying. Yeah. Then 00:25:48.000 --> 00:25:49.500 there's almost a level. It's like, and then you're 00:25:49.500 --> 00:25:51.859 a worse mom because you have this goal in mind 00:25:51.859 --> 00:25:54.539 that that you're trying to achieve. That's never 00:25:54.539 --> 00:26:00.000 possible. Yep. Yeah. Okay. My next one is if 00:26:00.000 --> 00:26:04.539 you are pregnant, take a birthing class. Like 00:26:04.539 --> 00:26:07.160 I will I will tell every person who's pregnant 00:26:07.160 --> 00:26:09.779 everyone who's pregnant to take a birthing class 00:26:09.779 --> 00:26:13.299 When we took ours, it was super helpful It was 00:26:13.299 --> 00:26:15.420 helpful for Stewart because he was like, oh there 00:26:15.420 --> 00:26:17.259 are so many things that I didn't realize I didn't 00:26:17.259 --> 00:26:19.759 know Yeah, like how much I would need to support 00:26:19.759 --> 00:26:22.599 you during labor and all of that but like the 00:26:22.599 --> 00:26:24.599 one we took was super basic and it just covered 00:26:24.599 --> 00:26:26.960 all of the grounds of like this is what natural 00:26:26.960 --> 00:26:29.559 labor looks like this is what all the different 00:26:29.559 --> 00:26:31.839 medicated pain relief looks like this is what 00:26:32.680 --> 00:26:34.779 a planned c -section would look like this is 00:26:34.779 --> 00:26:36.460 what an emergency c -section would look like 00:26:36.460 --> 00:26:38.480 and it was super helpful for me especially as 00:26:38.480 --> 00:26:41.099 a planner where it's like okay i knew i had the 00:26:41.099 --> 00:26:43.980 goal of having a natural birth but if something 00:26:43.980 --> 00:26:47.160 changes now i already have all this information 00:26:47.160 --> 00:26:49.700 and it's not in the middle of labor that i'm 00:26:49.700 --> 00:26:52.500 making a decision necessarily so i can like kind 00:26:52.500 --> 00:26:55.740 of ahead ahead of time be like okay what is like 00:26:55.740 --> 00:26:59.569 my order of like medicated pain relief or whatever. 00:26:59.809 --> 00:27:01.690 If I decide I can't do it anymore, like what 00:27:01.690 --> 00:27:05.309 am I going to do? Or if I did have to have an 00:27:05.309 --> 00:27:07.130 emergency c -section, like what does that look 00:27:07.130 --> 00:27:09.369 like? So that way, you know, as they're wheeling 00:27:09.369 --> 00:27:11.990 me in, I at least have something in the back 00:27:11.990 --> 00:27:16.130 of my head of knowing what's going on. So I'd 00:27:16.130 --> 00:27:17.970 say that was super helpful. Again, it was helpful 00:27:17.970 --> 00:27:20.329 for Stuart too. And I think it kind of helps 00:27:20.329 --> 00:27:22.970 you maintain your goals as much as possible. 00:27:23.089 --> 00:27:25.940 But then again, like things, unpredictable things 00:27:25.940 --> 00:27:28.980 happen all the time. And when you're in labor, 00:27:29.440 --> 00:27:31.099 labor is like, I don't want to say labor is scary, 00:27:31.140 --> 00:27:34.500 but kind of because you have to make these like 00:27:34.500 --> 00:27:38.059 game time decisions constantly. Right. And so 00:27:38.059 --> 00:27:40.440 if you already have that information before you 00:27:40.440 --> 00:27:43.799 get to labor to go, OK, I kind of remember they 00:27:43.799 --> 00:27:46.119 talked about this, you know, and maybe we talked 00:27:46.119 --> 00:27:50.230 about it after class. So. now I feel more educated 00:27:50.230 --> 00:27:52.970 in making that decision. Yeah. Yeah. We did not 00:27:52.970 --> 00:27:55.529 take a birthing class and I would, I do wish 00:27:55.529 --> 00:27:59.029 we would have, especially for our first of, of 00:27:59.029 --> 00:28:02.089 just like knowing all the options and steps and 00:28:02.089 --> 00:28:05.009 all the things. Cause we went into it kind of, 00:28:05.009 --> 00:28:07.269 yeah, kind of blind, I think. Yeah. And then, 00:28:07.390 --> 00:28:09.650 you know, like risk and you can decide what risks 00:28:09.650 --> 00:28:11.829 you want to take and what, you know, risk reward 00:28:11.829 --> 00:28:14.609 for all the things. So yeah, yeah. Highly recommend 00:28:14.609 --> 00:28:19.759 that if you're pregnant. Yep. OK, next, you should 00:28:19.759 --> 00:28:23.160 if you're becoming a new mom, you need to invest 00:28:23.160 --> 00:28:26.680 in a really good lounge set. Yes. Yeah. It doesn't 00:28:26.680 --> 00:28:28.460 have to be super expensive. No, no, no, no. I 00:28:28.460 --> 00:28:30.640 found some like great deals. Oh, yeah. I've got 00:28:30.640 --> 00:28:33.740 some amazing ones from Amazon, like 30 bucks. 00:28:33.940 --> 00:28:36.319 Or Aerie is always having Aerie. Yep. Mm hmm. 00:28:36.799 --> 00:28:40.680 Yeah. I this time around, I bought I think I 00:28:40.680 --> 00:28:43.329 bought like three different lounge sets. And 00:28:43.329 --> 00:28:45.789 it just like made me, if I like changed out of 00:28:45.789 --> 00:28:48.890 my pajamas in the morning and put on the lounge 00:28:48.890 --> 00:28:51.869 set, it like made me feel just a little bit better. 00:28:51.970 --> 00:28:54.349 It makes you feel put together. Yeah. Yeah. And 00:28:54.349 --> 00:28:57.029 I by no means looked put together. Like the lounge 00:28:57.029 --> 00:28:59.769 set just made me feel like I like, okay, I'm, 00:28:59.769 --> 00:29:03.490 I'm still comfy. I'm cozy, but I'm it's daytime 00:29:03.490 --> 00:29:06.309 and I'm starting my day. I would say just in 00:29:06.309 --> 00:29:09.579 general. Try to change out of nighttime comfy 00:29:09.579 --> 00:29:11.660 clothes to daytime comfy clothes But if you have 00:29:11.660 --> 00:29:13.900 like a matching set or something like that, there's 00:29:13.900 --> 00:29:16.519 something about it that you're like I feel cute 00:29:16.519 --> 00:29:20.240 like and that can Make all the difference. Yes. 00:29:20.279 --> 00:29:25.579 Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I Last time our first postpartum. 00:29:25.940 --> 00:29:29.920 I would like stay in my like ratted up like t 00:29:29.920 --> 00:29:33.019 -shirt spit up all over all day and I really 00:29:33.000 --> 00:29:35.700 did not feel great about myself this time around 00:29:35.700 --> 00:29:38.460 if I can like if I can get out of bed wash my 00:29:38.460 --> 00:29:41.940 face even and put on like one of my lounge sets 00:29:41.940 --> 00:29:44.960 I feel like a new person I'd also add to that 00:29:44.960 --> 00:29:47.200 like doing a little bit of makeup you know not 00:29:47.200 --> 00:29:49.180 like a full face or anything but it's like even 00:29:49.180 --> 00:29:51.539 some mascara sometimes you're like oh I feel 00:29:51.539 --> 00:29:55.000 like a human again yep yep agree I'm kind of 00:29:55.000 --> 00:29:58.170 going off of just like clothes and all of that. 00:29:58.490 --> 00:30:00.009 If you're breastfeeding, this isn't going to 00:30:00.009 --> 00:30:02.970 sound weird, but crop tops, not like a clubbing 00:30:02.970 --> 00:30:05.809 crop top, but like get some old t -shirts that 00:30:05.809 --> 00:30:08.329 you don't really care about. Cut them not super 00:30:08.329 --> 00:30:11.329 short, like long enough that you still feel comfortable 00:30:11.329 --> 00:30:13.690 in them. But if they're a little bit cropped, 00:30:13.910 --> 00:30:15.650 it makes it so much easier for breastfeeding. 00:30:16.329 --> 00:30:18.309 If we're just being real, you need to have quick 00:30:18.309 --> 00:30:20.990 boob access. That's just the reality of breastfeeding. 00:30:22.269 --> 00:30:24.349 And t -shirts can like, they'll like cover your 00:30:24.349 --> 00:30:26.710 kid's face and then they're mad because they're 00:30:26.710 --> 00:30:28.990 trying to eat with a t -shirt on their face. 00:30:29.250 --> 00:30:31.769 And there's just less fabric to move. It's a 00:30:31.769 --> 00:30:34.890 weird one that I discovered, but it's been so 00:30:34.890 --> 00:30:37.509 helpful for me. On that note too, like at night 00:30:37.509 --> 00:30:41.519 time. If I just sleep in my nursing bra, that's 00:30:41.519 --> 00:30:45.799 like, I don't try to sleep in like a pajama shirt 00:30:45.799 --> 00:30:48.720 or anything like that. Yeah. I also got night 00:30:48.720 --> 00:30:51.539 sweats so bad, especially first few weeks in 00:30:51.539 --> 00:30:55.000 like month. Oh yeah. So having cool clothes is 00:30:55.000 --> 00:30:57.160 helpful. Yeah. And then that quick boob accent. 00:30:57.359 --> 00:31:00.819 Yes. It's important. It's a win -win. The next 00:31:00.819 --> 00:31:04.640 one is having everything you need within reach 00:31:04.640 --> 00:31:07.059 when feeding. So especially if you're breastfeeding, 00:31:07.979 --> 00:31:13.220 Um, I highly recommend, so I have like a breastfeeding 00:31:13.220 --> 00:31:16.440 cart that I have. That's super smart. Yeah. And 00:31:16.440 --> 00:31:21.539 it has snacks. It has like, if it had liquid 00:31:21.539 --> 00:31:26.160 IVs, um, it has like diapers, burp cloths, new 00:31:26.160 --> 00:31:29.880 outfits. Um, it had like, has my breast pump 00:31:29.880 --> 00:31:33.619 on it, but just like this cart with all the essentials 00:31:33.619 --> 00:31:38.589 like that within reach. Oh, my Kindle. Yeah, 00:31:38.789 --> 00:31:42.190 like things that you need in order to be able 00:31:42.190 --> 00:31:44.970 to have a successful feeding session so that 00:31:44.970 --> 00:31:47.950 you water bottle. Yeah. Water. Maybe a phone 00:31:47.950 --> 00:31:51.410 charger. Yeah. I would recommend like picking 00:31:51.410 --> 00:31:53.809 a place that you're like when you're at home, 00:31:53.910 --> 00:31:56.970 this is where you primarily feed. Yeah. Just 00:31:56.970 --> 00:31:59.049 you have like access to all of those things. 00:31:59.150 --> 00:32:01.539 It doesn't have to. by no means has to be that 00:32:01.539 --> 00:32:05.220 way. Like I'll plop on the couch and feed the 00:32:05.220 --> 00:32:07.799 baby too, but it's nice to have like an area 00:32:07.799 --> 00:32:12.279 that's like my feeding area and set up successfully 00:32:12.279 --> 00:32:16.220 for like everything I may need during the feeding. 00:32:16.420 --> 00:32:19.119 Like your baby just needs you. Yeah. The amount 00:32:19.119 --> 00:32:21.579 of times I've like started feeding and then I'm 00:32:21.579 --> 00:32:24.440 like, Oh, my water bottle is 10 feet away and 00:32:24.440 --> 00:32:27.440 I can't get it. Yeah. Or even if my phone is 00:32:27.440 --> 00:32:32.740 like two feet. Just with that. Being mom has 00:32:32.740 --> 00:32:35.299 made me realize why Mrs. Incredible and the Incredibles 00:32:35.299 --> 00:32:38.240 is a lasso girl. As a mom, that's what you need 00:32:38.240 --> 00:32:42.559 to be. That's so true. If my phone's on the opposite 00:32:42.559 --> 00:32:46.480 side, I'm like, Michael, can you reach my phone 00:32:46.480 --> 00:32:48.460 for me? He's like, it's right there. I'm like, 00:32:48.599 --> 00:32:50.880 yeah, I can't. I can't reach it. I can't reach 00:32:50.880 --> 00:32:53.440 it right now. Yeah. Yeah, that's a big one for 00:32:53.440 --> 00:32:58.230 sure. Going off of that, I'd say pick a... TV 00:32:58.230 --> 00:33:01.329 show that you can kind of binge. And I would 00:33:01.329 --> 00:33:03.990 say pick one that's a little more lighthearted, 00:33:04.470 --> 00:33:07.789 like, yeah, like a sitcom or something like that. 00:33:07.890 --> 00:33:10.710 Because especially for first baby, you spend 00:33:10.710 --> 00:33:13.210 a lot of time just sitting on the couch feeding. 00:33:13.710 --> 00:33:15.829 But then even with second baby, there are times 00:33:15.829 --> 00:33:18.349 when it's like it's late at night and you're 00:33:18.349 --> 00:33:19.930 having a rough night and just having something 00:33:19.930 --> 00:33:21.970 that you can put on in the background that's 00:33:21.970 --> 00:33:25.410 like kind of feel good and funny. What's like 00:33:25.410 --> 00:33:28.700 your go to? So when Lloyd was born, I put on 00:33:28.700 --> 00:33:31.359 the Andy Griffith show. Nice. And then for Zeta, 00:33:31.680 --> 00:33:34.319 I did the Dick Van Dyke show, partially because 00:33:34.319 --> 00:33:36.299 I wanted to show that Stuart and I weren't watching 00:33:36.299 --> 00:33:38.519 together. Mm hmm. Yeah, that's a good point. 00:33:38.779 --> 00:33:41.660 Right now we're rewatching Parks and Rec together. 00:33:41.940 --> 00:33:45.240 Yeah, that's a good one. Mine was with Colt was 00:33:45.240 --> 00:33:48.200 New Girl. OK. And then I haven't really picked 00:33:48.200 --> 00:33:50.940 one this time. Like I'll I'll use my Kindle. 00:33:51.000 --> 00:33:54.220 Yeah. A lot, especially during feeds, but. with 00:33:54.220 --> 00:33:57.019 a toddler. It's so much harder during the day 00:33:57.019 --> 00:34:00.559 to like sit down and actually watch a show, I 00:34:00.559 --> 00:34:03.380 feel like. And so we're not watching a ton of 00:34:03.380 --> 00:34:06.000 TV during the day. At night, we'll watch some 00:34:06.000 --> 00:34:08.320 TV. We just started this show called Shrinking 00:34:08.320 --> 00:34:12.400 on Apple TV with Jason Siegel and Harrison Ford. 00:34:12.699 --> 00:34:16.260 It is so, it's so funny. It's yeah, highly recommend. 00:34:17.099 --> 00:34:21.300 Yeah. Okay, next have a quick errand diaper bag. 00:34:21.940 --> 00:34:25.699 So diaper bags are bulky, especially if you get 00:34:25.699 --> 00:34:29.619 like, yeah, a full on diaper bag. I would recommend 00:34:29.619 --> 00:34:33.079 like even if it's like a fanny pack or like a 00:34:33.079 --> 00:34:36.079 little tiny backpack with just a couple of diapers 00:34:36.079 --> 00:34:40.139 and wipes, maybe one outfit and a burp cloth 00:34:40.139 --> 00:34:43.659 or something like that that you can just take 00:34:43.659 --> 00:34:46.360 with you into a store real quick so you don't 00:34:46.360 --> 00:34:49.440 have to bring the whole diaper bag with you. 00:34:49.659 --> 00:34:51.619 We had a fanny pack for Lloyd and right now we 00:34:51.619 --> 00:34:53.199 have a little backpack because we need diapers 00:34:53.199 --> 00:34:56.860 for two kids. Yes. But yeah, we've kind of abandoned 00:34:56.860 --> 00:34:59.400 the full diaper bag at this point with two kids. 00:34:59.619 --> 00:35:02.920 It's really just, yeah, the quick errand diaper 00:35:02.920 --> 00:35:05.219 bag. Like, yeah, we have the full one for when 00:35:05.219 --> 00:35:07.420 we like go to grandparents houses or we're at 00:35:07.420 --> 00:35:09.460 church and we need to make sure we have snacks 00:35:09.460 --> 00:35:12.820 and that kind of stuff. But. It's just, it's 00:35:12.820 --> 00:35:15.340 so big and I always feel like I'm falling over 00:35:15.340 --> 00:35:16.860 when I'm wearing it at this point because of 00:35:16.860 --> 00:35:19.019 how much stuff we need. But the quick errand 00:35:19.019 --> 00:35:20.739 one, especially if you're just like going grocery 00:35:20.739 --> 00:35:23.940 shopping, you don't need snacks. You don't need 00:35:23.940 --> 00:35:28.039 all of the extra stuff. And to then have in the 00:35:28.039 --> 00:35:31.019 shopping cart two kids, one in a car seat, a 00:35:31.019 --> 00:35:33.099 diaper bag. Where the heck are you going to put 00:35:33.099 --> 00:35:35.760 your groceries at this point? Yeah, impossible. 00:35:36.329 --> 00:35:40.289 So my next one is skin -to -skin works for so 00:35:40.289 --> 00:35:42.929 many things. So I know I got the advice early 00:35:42.929 --> 00:35:45.889 on with Lloyd that if your baby's having a hard 00:35:45.889 --> 00:35:48.730 time latching, skin -to -skin can, I think it 00:35:48.730 --> 00:35:50.170 triggers some sort of instinct or something. 00:35:50.789 --> 00:35:53.110 But I've also noticed if Zayda's having a tough 00:35:53.110 --> 00:35:55.510 time sleeping and I just put her directly on 00:35:55.510 --> 00:35:58.550 my chest with no clothes, then that can help. 00:35:59.030 --> 00:36:02.400 I know... newborns, it helps regulate a lot of 00:36:02.400 --> 00:36:04.679 systems. I think that continues though. Yeah. 00:36:04.699 --> 00:36:06.320 I mean, don't quote me on that. That's one I'm 00:36:06.320 --> 00:36:09.059 not 100 % sure on. Just going directly, like 00:36:09.059 --> 00:36:11.260 putting your baby directly on your chest with 00:36:11.260 --> 00:36:15.719 no clothes can help regulate, help them calm 00:36:15.719 --> 00:36:19.139 down. It helps them latch. Like the other night 00:36:19.139 --> 00:36:22.639 Zeta was, she hadn't had a full feed and she 00:36:22.639 --> 00:36:25.199 fell asleep and I was like, shoot, I can't wake 00:36:25.199 --> 00:36:27.880 her up if I don't have to. So I was like, well, 00:36:27.880 --> 00:36:30.500 let me see if just like, unzipping her pajamas 00:36:30.500 --> 00:36:32.539 and putting her on my chest will help. And then 00:36:32.539 --> 00:36:35.820 she had a full feed and didn't fully wake up. 00:36:36.219 --> 00:36:39.099 So I guess that would be like, if you don't know 00:36:39.099 --> 00:36:42.000 what to do, try that because it works for a lot 00:36:42.000 --> 00:36:45.320 of things. Yeah. One I just thought of too is 00:36:45.320 --> 00:36:47.800 speaking of full feeds, especially if you're 00:36:47.800 --> 00:36:50.840 breastfeeding, like you're going to be so hungry 00:36:50.840 --> 00:36:55.760 all the time. And I think that oftentimes we 00:36:55.760 --> 00:36:58.699 can get in our heads about like how many calories 00:36:58.699 --> 00:37:02.579 were, yeah, like body image, all that. And my 00:37:02.579 --> 00:37:06.320 advice is just if you're hungry, just eat. Yeah. 00:37:06.320 --> 00:37:07.840 Yeah. Take care of your body. Yeah. Take care 00:37:07.840 --> 00:37:09.440 of your body. Cause like your body's telling 00:37:09.440 --> 00:37:11.420 you. Listen to your hungry cues. Yeah. Not just 00:37:11.420 --> 00:37:14.260 your baby's. Yeah. Your body's telling you that 00:37:14.260 --> 00:37:16.980 you're hungry and the calories are going to you 00:37:16.980 --> 00:37:21.460 and your baby. And my advice is just, yeah, try 00:37:21.460 --> 00:37:23.960 to eat and eating, especially while breastfeeding 00:37:23.960 --> 00:37:27.530 is like, I don't know that's clutch of like snacking 00:37:27.530 --> 00:37:31.130 while the baby's snacking. Yep. Yeah, that's 00:37:31.130 --> 00:37:34.210 one of the things that Like it helps you remember 00:37:34.210 --> 00:37:36.909 to eat like oh, I should snack when the baby's 00:37:36.909 --> 00:37:39.849 eating Yeah, kind of going off of just I guess 00:37:39.849 --> 00:37:42.369 bread breastfeeding information So I didn't find 00:37:42.369 --> 00:37:45.349 this out till like literally a couple weeks ago 00:37:45.920 --> 00:37:48.539 But I thought it was super interesting. So there's 00:37:48.539 --> 00:37:51.820 something called dysphoric milk ejection reflex. 00:37:52.059 --> 00:37:55.980 But basically what happens when you are producing 00:37:55.980 --> 00:38:00.059 milk is your body releases prolactin and that 00:38:00.059 --> 00:38:03.199 can cause a sudden drop in dopamine which means 00:38:03.199 --> 00:38:05.280 a lot of times when you like start feeding or 00:38:05.280 --> 00:38:07.400 you start pumping all of a sudden you get like 00:38:07.400 --> 00:38:09.360 really sad or really anxious or really angry 00:38:09.360 --> 00:38:12.519 or one of those like really extreme feelings 00:38:12.519 --> 00:38:16.090 and that's why. Interesting. I've actually never 00:38:16.090 --> 00:38:18.130 heard of that. Yeah, my mom sent me this thing 00:38:18.130 --> 00:38:20.969 that told me that, and it just changed my world 00:38:20.969 --> 00:38:24.170 because that explains so many things. And it's 00:38:24.170 --> 00:38:27.190 been super helpful for me recently, too. There 00:38:27.190 --> 00:38:28.690 have been a couple times in particular where 00:38:28.690 --> 00:38:30.869 I start feeding and all of a sudden I go down 00:38:30.869 --> 00:38:33.010 this anxiety spiral and I can pull myself out 00:38:33.010 --> 00:38:35.090 of it and be like, oh, this is why I'm going 00:38:35.090 --> 00:38:37.289 down an anxiety spiral is because my dopamine 00:38:37.289 --> 00:38:40.630 just dropped because I'm making milk for Zeta. 00:38:41.079 --> 00:38:42.760 So I thought that was super interesting. And 00:38:42.760 --> 00:38:44.239 again, as one of those pieces of information, 00:38:44.360 --> 00:38:47.059 I feel like we should just tell any mom who's 00:38:47.059 --> 00:38:51.019 planning on breastfeeding and their support people 00:38:51.019 --> 00:38:54.699 to just know, but we don't. And so then you feel 00:38:54.699 --> 00:38:57.239 like kind of crazy because you get sad or you 00:38:57.239 --> 00:38:59.380 get anxious or whatever feeling you're feeling. 00:39:00.190 --> 00:39:02.849 really suddenly because at least in my experience, 00:39:02.889 --> 00:39:05.630 it's been like once I've been paying attention, 00:39:05.630 --> 00:39:08.190 I'm like, oh, it's like a drop. Yeah, like a 00:39:08.190 --> 00:39:10.849 roller coaster or something. So interesting. 00:39:11.010 --> 00:39:12.550 That's just a piece of information. I wish I 00:39:12.550 --> 00:39:15.829 knew when I was restfeeding Lloyd and I definitely 00:39:15.829 --> 00:39:18.610 didn't. But I'm glad that I know now. Yeah, that's 00:39:18.610 --> 00:39:20.969 I mean, I didn't know that until right this minute. 00:39:21.170 --> 00:39:24.650 So that's actually really good to know. And I 00:39:24.650 --> 00:39:28.110 think that explains a lot of things too. That's 00:39:28.110 --> 00:39:30.849 cool. Yeah. That's all that's on my list. Do 00:39:30.849 --> 00:39:32.769 you have any more that you want to add? No, that's 00:39:32.769 --> 00:39:36.329 my last one. Yeah. Awesome. Yeah. I feel like 00:39:36.329 --> 00:39:40.909 ultimately, like as a new mom, you need to pick 00:39:40.909 --> 00:39:43.309 and choose the advice you take from people. So 00:39:43.309 --> 00:39:47.769 like take or leave what we've said today. And 00:39:47.769 --> 00:39:49.949 you're really ultimately like the base advice 00:39:49.949 --> 00:39:52.030 is like, you're going to figure out what works 00:39:52.030 --> 00:39:55.090 for you and what works for your baby. Yeah. Yeah. 00:39:55.260 --> 00:39:57.480 And I would also, I guess my one last piece of 00:39:57.480 --> 00:40:00.559 advice would be there are lots of things that 00:40:00.559 --> 00:40:03.320 even if people tell you, you're not going to 00:40:03.320 --> 00:40:06.800 actually learn until you're in it. It's like 00:40:06.800 --> 00:40:08.760 we could give you this whole list of advice and 00:40:08.760 --> 00:40:10.500 there might be not a single one that you take 00:40:10.500 --> 00:40:11.980 until you're in it and you figure it out for 00:40:11.980 --> 00:40:14.559 yourself. Like I think I had this example in 00:40:14.559 --> 00:40:17.900 a different episode of fevers with Lloyd where 00:40:17.900 --> 00:40:20.519 it's like. I could have had every person in my 00:40:20.519 --> 00:40:22.559 life tell me like, oh, well, once he has a serious 00:40:22.559 --> 00:40:24.900 fever, like you'll be able to tell. But for me, 00:40:24.980 --> 00:40:26.619 every time he felt even a little bit warm, I 00:40:26.619 --> 00:40:28.699 was like, he has a fever. That's the problem 00:40:28.699 --> 00:40:31.559 until the day that he had a real fever, like 00:40:31.559 --> 00:40:33.960 a serious one. And I felt his skin. I was like, 00:40:34.099 --> 00:40:36.900 oh, no, that's what it is. Yeah. So I think there's 00:40:36.900 --> 00:40:40.159 just like lots of things like that that you can 00:40:40.159 --> 00:40:42.159 people can tell you things, but you're not necessarily 00:40:42.159 --> 00:40:44.980 going to like really know it or understand it 00:40:44.980 --> 00:40:47.960 until until you experience it yourself. Yeah. 00:40:48.139 --> 00:40:52.519 for sure that's so true um okay do we want to 00:40:52.519 --> 00:40:55.360 close out with our wins of the week yeah i can 00:40:55.360 --> 00:40:57.739 go first okay so this was a couple weeks ago 00:40:57.739 --> 00:41:01.679 but uh we had a night where loyd spent the night 00:41:01.679 --> 00:41:04.800 with grandparents and so we just we had zeta 00:41:04.800 --> 00:41:07.559 to ourselves and then the next morning when we 00:41:07.559 --> 00:41:10.570 picked loyd up He was just so excited to see 00:41:10.570 --> 00:41:13.789 Zeta and it was the sweetest, like he didn't 00:41:13.789 --> 00:41:16.010 care about me. He didn't want to give me a hug 00:41:16.010 --> 00:41:18.110 or anything like that, which is like, okay, thanks. 00:41:18.429 --> 00:41:21.269 But he was so excited to see his sister and lit 00:41:21.269 --> 00:41:24.309 up like a light when he saw her and just wanted 00:41:24.309 --> 00:41:26.030 to give her nucks because that's his thing right 00:41:26.030 --> 00:41:28.829 now is giving everyone nucks. But it was just 00:41:28.829 --> 00:41:31.550 super sweet to see that. Their little relationship 00:41:31.550 --> 00:41:34.070 blossoming and that's cute that he doesn't just 00:41:34.070 --> 00:41:35.550 like put up with her because she's in the house 00:41:35.550 --> 00:41:37.550 But he was like excited to see her after being 00:41:37.550 --> 00:41:40.829 away from her. That's sweet Um my win of the 00:41:40.829 --> 00:41:44.250 week. We've had quite the week just in general 00:41:44.250 --> 00:41:48.550 Just not a lot of sleep Like tantrums have been 00:41:48.550 --> 00:41:51.730 extra tantrumy But my win of the week is that 00:41:51.730 --> 00:41:53.409 we've gotten out of the house every single day 00:41:53.409 --> 00:41:56.929 this week. So that's just it's been like kind 00:41:56.929 --> 00:42:00.190 of rainy, but we'll like go to Target or Costco 00:42:00.190 --> 00:42:02.869 or whatever. Just getting out of the house is 00:42:02.869 --> 00:42:07.309 so helpful for all of us, honestly. I've noticed 00:42:07.309 --> 00:42:11.050 a huge difference in Colt if we just stay in 00:42:11.050 --> 00:42:15.530 the house all day versus one trip to the grocery 00:42:15.530 --> 00:42:19.710 store. It doesn't even have to be a play exciting 00:42:19.710 --> 00:42:22.250 thing. No, it's just like... getting out of the 00:42:22.250 --> 00:42:25.090 house. Yeah, or going to going honestly like 00:42:25.090 --> 00:42:27.369 going through the Dutch Bros drive through like 00:42:27.369 --> 00:42:29.849 even just getting in the car and going somewhere 00:42:29.849 --> 00:42:33.989 like a change of scenery. Yeah. So that has been 00:42:33.989 --> 00:42:36.449 my win of like it's been a tough week, but it's 00:42:36.449 --> 00:42:40.309 also like we've seen glimpses of glimpses of 00:42:40.309 --> 00:42:43.949 hope in our in our trips out of the house. That's 00:42:43.949 --> 00:42:47.239 awesome. Yeah. Yep. Well, thanks for listening 00:42:47.239 --> 00:42:49.320 to this week's episode. If you have a device 00:42:49.320 --> 00:42:52.480 for new moms, you can comment that on Instagram. 00:42:53.460 --> 00:42:56.019 If there's anything that you want to hear, please 00:42:56.019 --> 00:42:59.159 let us know and follow us on Instagram at No 00:42:59.159 --> 00:43:02.559 Manual Podcast. We will see you next week. See 00:43:02.559 --> 00:43:04.440 you next week. Thanks for tuning in.