WEBVTT 00:00:12.519 --> 00:00:15.980 Hey everyone, welcome back to No Manual Momcast 00:00:15.980 --> 00:00:18.839 where this is a place for moms to feel connected, 00:00:19.300 --> 00:00:21.579 feel like you're not alone, and talk about the 00:00:21.579 --> 00:00:25.059 realness and reality of motherhood. So today 00:00:25.059 --> 00:00:28.760 we get to talk about adjusting to two under two. 00:00:29.480 --> 00:00:32.479 So both Erica and I have two under the age of 00:00:32.479 --> 00:00:37.039 two and we're just in the thick of it right now. 00:00:37.100 --> 00:00:41.299 We both have newborns and then our toddlers are 00:00:41.420 --> 00:00:45.619 like 20 to 21 months old. And so we're just kind 00:00:45.619 --> 00:00:48.179 of in it right now and just want to chat about 00:00:48.179 --> 00:00:51.859 just the reality of the difficulties of adjusting 00:00:51.859 --> 00:00:55.939 to 202 and the fun and all that it has to offer. 00:00:56.520 --> 00:01:00.539 But let's first start with our mom moment of 00:01:00.539 --> 00:01:03.340 the week. Do you want to share yours first? Yeah, 00:01:03.460 --> 00:01:08.140 so this happened last night. So this week, Stuart 00:01:08.140 --> 00:01:11.459 has multiple commitments in the evening. So he 00:01:11.459 --> 00:01:13.920 was gone last night and he'll be gone again tonight. 00:01:14.840 --> 00:01:18.099 And that means he's gone for bedtime. And usually 00:01:18.099 --> 00:01:20.819 our bedtime routine is like all four of us together. 00:01:21.140 --> 00:01:23.420 It's like, you know, we get the kids in their 00:01:23.420 --> 00:01:25.680 pajamas and then we read a book together. And 00:01:25.680 --> 00:01:28.140 then Lloyd helps us put Zayda on her passanet. 00:01:28.400 --> 00:01:33.079 Then we do all of that. So. Last night, I was 00:01:33.079 --> 00:01:35.379 on my own. I was like, you know, I'm just going 00:01:35.379 --> 00:01:37.840 to leave Zeta in her swing. She's content right 00:01:37.840 --> 00:01:40.180 now. Yeah. I'm going to do a quick bedtime with 00:01:40.180 --> 00:01:42.959 Lloyd, get him down, call it good, you know, 00:01:43.000 --> 00:01:45.099 then take care of Zeta, blah, blah, blah. Not 00:01:45.099 --> 00:01:49.180 the move. Dang it. So first, Lloyd was like super 00:01:49.180 --> 00:01:52.079 sad and he always gets a little bit sad if Stuart's 00:01:52.079 --> 00:01:53.359 gone, because like he likes saying good night 00:01:53.359 --> 00:01:56.459 to. dad and that also generally means that he 00:01:56.459 --> 00:01:59.299 won't see him until after Stuart gets home from 00:01:59.299 --> 00:02:01.180 work for the next day. So it's like a long time 00:02:01.180 --> 00:02:03.480 before he gets to see dad again. So he was like 00:02:03.480 --> 00:02:06.519 kind of sad and he like started crying. Then 00:02:06.519 --> 00:02:08.120 also Zeta started crying. So I was like, okay, 00:02:08.159 --> 00:02:09.919 I'm going to give him a second because sometimes 00:02:09.919 --> 00:02:12.280 it's just like the initial like shock of going 00:02:12.280 --> 00:02:14.379 to bed, whatever. So I like, and he's in his 00:02:14.379 --> 00:02:16.500 crib. He's in his crib. Okay. So I like put him 00:02:16.500 --> 00:02:19.710 down. leave the room, turn out the lights, turn 00:02:19.710 --> 00:02:22.330 on the music, and he starts crying. I go to check 00:02:22.330 --> 00:02:24.210 on Zeta. I can tell she's hungry. So I'm like, 00:02:24.210 --> 00:02:26.810 OK, I'm going to feed her and see if he calms 00:02:26.810 --> 00:02:29.289 down while I'm feeding her. I feed her on one 00:02:29.289 --> 00:02:31.550 side and he doesn't. So I'm like, OK, going to 00:02:31.550 --> 00:02:34.330 put her down and go check on him. And I'm like, 00:02:34.409 --> 00:02:37.990 oh, well, his room's a little bit hot. So maybe 00:02:37.990 --> 00:02:40.990 I should turn on the air conditioning. It's like 00:02:40.990 --> 00:02:43.069 right in that season where the house kind of 00:02:43.069 --> 00:02:45.979 gets hot, but you don't really need. Yeah. So 00:02:45.979 --> 00:02:48.639 I like go in again, like give him a hug. Like, 00:02:48.740 --> 00:02:52.280 it's OK, buddy. Put him back down. I tell him 00:02:52.280 --> 00:02:55.300 I usually make things worse or it can help. It 00:02:55.300 --> 00:02:57.740 can help. OK, kind of depends on what it is. 00:02:57.919 --> 00:03:01.379 So I tried that trying again. So I turn on the 00:03:01.379 --> 00:03:04.159 air conditioning. Go try to feed data on the 00:03:04.159 --> 00:03:06.120 other side again, like maybe once his room starts 00:03:06.120 --> 00:03:08.300 going down, he's going to calm down. Doesn't 00:03:08.300 --> 00:03:11.340 help. So I'm like, well, maybe he usually like. 00:03:11.520 --> 00:03:13.439 Again, part of our routine is that he puts his 00:03:13.439 --> 00:03:16.659 sister to bed. So maybe like that's part of what's 00:03:16.659 --> 00:03:18.699 turning him off. So I like take her into his 00:03:18.699 --> 00:03:21.879 room, turn the light on low. I put her in his 00:03:21.879 --> 00:03:23.240 crib with him to be like, do you want to say 00:03:23.240 --> 00:03:25.819 good night to your sister? Oh, yeah. And that 00:03:25.819 --> 00:03:30.020 seemed to help. Uh huh. And then so he like calmed 00:03:30.020 --> 00:03:32.259 down for a little bit. Well, all of this is happening. 00:03:33.080 --> 00:03:35.199 Our air conditioning is making a weird noise 00:03:35.199 --> 00:03:38.259 that it's never made before, and it's only making 00:03:38.259 --> 00:03:41.610 it in the fan like Right above Floyd's room. 00:03:41.610 --> 00:03:44.569 So like if I'm in the kitchen, no noise if I'm 00:03:44.569 --> 00:03:48.389 in our bedroom, we're good Yeah, it's like it 00:03:48.389 --> 00:03:50.289 sounds like a UFO is landing in the Twilight 00:03:50.289 --> 00:03:52.650 Zone. Like that's the sound that's happening 00:03:52.650 --> 00:03:57.189 so then finally like he starts crying again and 00:03:57.189 --> 00:03:59.710 it's like not quite as bad like kind of just 00:03:59.710 --> 00:04:02.009 like Fussing so I'm like, okay. He's getting 00:04:02.009 --> 00:04:05.539 better. He's starting to like calm down but That 00:04:05.539 --> 00:04:07.759 fan is really annoying. I bet that's keeping 00:04:07.759 --> 00:04:11.240 him up. So finally I turn the AC off. She's crying 00:04:11.240 --> 00:04:14.939 and doesn't want to calm down. Then Stuart finally 00:04:14.939 --> 00:04:17.939 gets home. It's 9 .30 and he's like, how's it 00:04:17.939 --> 00:04:21.259 going? Everyone fell asleep by 8 .30? I was like, 00:04:21.360 --> 00:04:25.120 oh no. It's been maybe 20 minutes that everyone's 00:04:25.120 --> 00:04:28.699 been calm. And he's like, okay, let me get you 00:04:28.699 --> 00:04:33.339 a snack. Thanks. You're like, I need it. At the 00:04:33.339 --> 00:04:35.040 thing he was at, they had Chick -fil -A. And 00:04:35.040 --> 00:04:36.459 so he brought me a Chick -fil -A sandwich because 00:04:36.459 --> 00:04:38.920 they had leftovers. Nice. And that was my snack. 00:04:39.459 --> 00:04:41.879 Like this makes things a little better. But yeah, 00:04:41.980 --> 00:04:45.459 it took and like for context, bedtime is like 00:04:45.459 --> 00:04:47.759 730. So like sometimes Lloyd doesn't fall asleep 00:04:47.759 --> 00:04:50.199 till like eight. Yeah. Maybe a little bit later, 00:04:50.379 --> 00:04:53.660 depending on like the night, whatever. But so 00:04:53.660 --> 00:04:57.019 for no one to fall asleep till like after nine 00:04:57.019 --> 00:04:59.899 is a long time. That is a long time. Do you feel 00:04:59.899 --> 00:05:04.189 like you? Were panicked in this moment or was 00:05:04.189 --> 00:05:06.050 it like I think I was more just like kind of 00:05:06.050 --> 00:05:08.930 annoyed really like yeah, that sounds terrible, 00:05:08.949 --> 00:05:12.470 but it's more just like I Feel like I can't get 00:05:12.470 --> 00:05:15.470 anyone to calm down. Mm -hmm. And you're like, 00:05:15.490 --> 00:05:18.389 what am I doing wrong here? Why like I don't 00:05:18.389 --> 00:05:21.560 know Like Lloyd didn't eat a ton of dinner. So 00:05:21.560 --> 00:05:23.500 I'm like, is he hungry? Should I give him a snack? 00:05:23.620 --> 00:05:25.259 Is that gonna make it worse if I give him a snack 00:05:25.259 --> 00:05:27.379 right now? And you have to restart the bedtime 00:05:27.379 --> 00:05:30.500 routine Exactly. And then I was like is he just 00:05:30.500 --> 00:05:32.319 not gonna fall asleep till dad gets home until 00:05:32.319 --> 00:05:34.339 he can say good night to his dad which like that's 00:05:34.339 --> 00:05:37.300 never happened before but I could see like if 00:05:37.300 --> 00:05:39.579 everything's thrown off enough if he's just like 00:05:39.579 --> 00:05:41.920 Like he got to see Stuart for like 20 minutes 00:05:41.920 --> 00:05:44.939 yesterday just based on like how the day was 00:05:44.939 --> 00:05:48.949 so Yeah, so that's how that's hard Finally fell 00:05:48.949 --> 00:05:52.389 asleep. Hopefully. I guess that's not how we're 00:05:52.389 --> 00:05:54.329 gonna do bedtime routine tonight because that 00:05:54.329 --> 00:05:58.329 did not go well. Gosh. That's really hard. Yeah, 00:05:58.470 --> 00:06:01.129 it was. It was a time. Oh, man. What's your mom 00:06:01.129 --> 00:06:05.350 moment this week? My mom moment has to do with 00:06:05.350 --> 00:06:09.230 adjusting to two under two. So Colt, and we'll 00:06:09.230 --> 00:06:11.889 talk about this more too, Colt has been having 00:06:11.889 --> 00:06:14.949 a really hard time adjusting to having a little 00:06:14.949 --> 00:06:18.970 brother. And I know it'll be good. eventually. 00:06:19.529 --> 00:06:23.430 But every time, pretty much every time when Colt 00:06:23.430 --> 00:06:28.449 is awake and I'm holding Cruz, Colt will look 00:06:28.449 --> 00:06:32.870 at me, sign all done, and say, daddy, baby. Like, 00:06:32.910 --> 00:06:36.170 daddy, hold the baby. All done, daddy, baby. 00:06:37.129 --> 00:06:39.569 And I'm like, hey buddy, like mommy's feeding 00:06:39.569 --> 00:06:42.529 the baby right now, like I gotta hold him. And 00:06:42.529 --> 00:06:45.670 it's like full blown tantrum. almost every single 00:06:45.670 --> 00:06:52.649 time. And that has been a journey of just trying 00:06:52.649 --> 00:06:55.509 to help Colt understand like, hey, mommy's got 00:06:55.509 --> 00:06:58.949 to hold the baby for a little bit. And but I 00:06:58.949 --> 00:07:01.449 can hold you too. And I'll like try to hold him 00:07:01.449 --> 00:07:04.910 next to me or we'll try to distract him with 00:07:04.910 --> 00:07:07.610 like we got him like special toys that he can 00:07:07.610 --> 00:07:11.209 play with while I'm feeding the baby. And that's 00:07:11.209 --> 00:07:14.000 like when he's allowed to play with those. That 00:07:14.000 --> 00:07:17.680 can help sometimes. But he's also a one and a 00:07:17.680 --> 00:07:21.139 half year old. So the attention span isn't there. 00:07:21.420 --> 00:07:24.300 No. And I'm like, when I feed Cruz, it's like, 00:07:24.300 --> 00:07:27.319 it's like a long, it can be a long process. Like 00:07:27.319 --> 00:07:31.019 it can be like 30 minutes and that's like not 00:07:31.019 --> 00:07:34.339 going to fly with Colt. And if he can't have 00:07:34.339 --> 00:07:39.019 me for 30 minutes. Yeah. So Michael will try 00:07:39.019 --> 00:07:41.879 to like distract Colt and they'll go outside 00:07:41.879 --> 00:07:45.569 or like. They'll even go in the car and go somewhere. 00:07:46.310 --> 00:07:50.370 And it's just, I mean, it's been a journey of 00:07:50.370 --> 00:07:53.829 trying to help Colt understand that I have to 00:07:53.829 --> 00:07:56.990 hold the baby at some point. Yeah. Yeah. So that's 00:07:56.990 --> 00:07:59.730 my mom moment. It happens multiple times a day. 00:07:59.889 --> 00:08:03.050 Great. That's a fun time. Yeah. So overall, how 00:08:03.050 --> 00:08:05.970 has your adjustment been? What does that even 00:08:05.970 --> 00:08:10.350 look like for you guys? It has been really, really 00:08:10.350 --> 00:08:15.199 difficult actually. And I knew it would be just 00:08:15.199 --> 00:08:20.199 knowing how attached Colt has been to me and 00:08:20.199 --> 00:08:25.220 how needy he is, which is great. I'm glad that 00:08:25.220 --> 00:08:28.600 he needs me. I'm glad that he wants to be with 00:08:28.600 --> 00:08:31.600 me. But that has been the hardest part, honestly, 00:08:31.680 --> 00:08:35.179 has been our toddler. Cruz has been, I mean, 00:08:35.179 --> 00:08:38.279 he's three weeks old now. He's been a pretty 00:08:38.279 --> 00:08:42.860 chill baby. Nights are hard, obviously. But he's 00:08:42.860 --> 00:08:45.720 he's been the easy one. Yeah. No, I definitely 00:08:45.720 --> 00:08:49.740 feel like having an infant the second time is 00:08:49.740 --> 00:08:52.480 the easiest part. Yes. We're like, yeah, they're 00:08:52.480 --> 00:08:54.519 you know, you're tired when they're waking up 00:08:54.519 --> 00:08:57.659 every two hours, whatever. But like one, you 00:08:57.659 --> 00:09:00.500 already kind of know some like tips and tricks. 00:09:00.799 --> 00:09:03.159 You know, you've survived this before. So even 00:09:03.159 --> 00:09:05.539 the sleepless nights, you can be like, OK, we 00:09:05.539 --> 00:09:07.799 got through this once. Yeah. You know, like he 00:09:07.799 --> 00:09:10.629 will eventually. sleep more than two hours at 00:09:10.629 --> 00:09:14.169 a time yeah and with the infant phase that's 00:09:14.169 --> 00:09:16.409 been all of it for me is i'm like i've done all 00:09:16.409 --> 00:09:21.190 this before it doesn't last forever it is exhausting 00:09:21.190 --> 00:09:25.210 it is have breastfeeding all the time yeah but 00:09:25.210 --> 00:09:27.730 it just but it's fine yeah it just kind of is 00:09:27.730 --> 00:09:31.190 what it is and it feels easier like i feel like 00:09:31.190 --> 00:09:35.120 i can take in the newborn bliss, I guess, a little 00:09:35.120 --> 00:09:37.940 bit more this time around. I'm not as stressed 00:09:37.940 --> 00:09:41.240 about every little thing. Yeah, you know more. 00:09:41.539 --> 00:09:44.080 Like, I mean, the example I keep thinking of 00:09:44.080 --> 00:09:47.700 for me, and Zeta hasn't been sick yet, thankfully, 00:09:48.200 --> 00:09:51.960 but I remember with Lloyd, like the entire time. 00:09:52.169 --> 00:09:55.169 he was like a baby baby anytime he'd like get 00:09:55.169 --> 00:09:57.830 sick and feel a little warm I'd be so stressed 00:09:57.830 --> 00:09:59.370 that he would have a fever and I'd take a temperature 00:09:59.370 --> 00:10:01.090 and he would never have a fever it'd be like 00:10:01.090 --> 00:10:03.070 he was warm because the room was warm or because 00:10:03.070 --> 00:10:05.409 he was crying or something like that and then 00:10:05.409 --> 00:10:07.509 the day that he like finally got a real fever 00:10:07.509 --> 00:10:10.850 and I like felt his skin I was like oh oh this 00:10:10.850 --> 00:10:13.990 is it like feels it like your skin feels sick 00:10:13.990 --> 00:10:16.470 yeah it feels completely different than like 00:10:16.470 --> 00:10:18.529 being warm because you're running around or being 00:10:18.529 --> 00:10:21.950 warm because of any other number of things that 00:10:21.950 --> 00:10:24.590 happen and like our body temperature rises like 00:10:24.590 --> 00:10:27.850 your skin feels ill yeah and so there's stuff 00:10:27.850 --> 00:10:31.529 like that like clammy and yeah yep so there's 00:10:31.529 --> 00:10:33.549 stuff like that where this time around i'm like 00:10:33.549 --> 00:10:35.950 okay i'm less stressed yeah you know if she's 00:10:35.950 --> 00:10:37.929 like a little bit warm i'm like oh maybe we just 00:10:37.929 --> 00:10:40.309 need to like put her in a different onesie or 00:10:40.309 --> 00:10:41.769 something like that you know i'm not automatically 00:10:41.769 --> 00:10:45.519 like oh does she have a fever Yeah, no, I feel 00:10:45.519 --> 00:10:50.100 that entirely. Like, poor Colt has had a really, 00:10:50.100 --> 00:10:53.059 really hard time adjusting. Like, I can just 00:10:53.059 --> 00:10:55.620 see it in, like, he's been sleeping terribly. 00:10:55.759 --> 00:11:00.460 He's been having more tantrums. He's super jealous, 00:11:00.759 --> 00:11:03.259 like, hasn't been eating as good. So it's just 00:11:03.259 --> 00:11:06.740 been affecting him in every aspect, which makes 00:11:06.740 --> 00:11:10.500 me feel pretty terrible. Obviously, I have all 00:11:10.500 --> 00:11:12.840 these hormones, like, readjusting and everything 00:11:12.840 --> 00:11:17.179 like that. But in two senses, I feel terrible. 00:11:17.320 --> 00:11:20.139 I feel terrible of like, oh, I've taken away 00:11:20.139 --> 00:11:23.980 attention from Colt and he doesn't understand 00:11:23.980 --> 00:11:27.659 why. And that part makes me feel bad. And you 00:11:27.659 --> 00:11:29.419 can't really explain it. Like you can try as 00:11:29.419 --> 00:11:31.919 much as you want. But yeah. And then the other 00:11:31.919 --> 00:11:34.600 aspect is like, like I talked about in the mom 00:11:34.600 --> 00:11:36.980 moment of like, Colt doesn't want me to hold 00:11:36.980 --> 00:11:42.080 Cruz, which makes me give Cruz to Michael a lot 00:11:42.080 --> 00:11:44.620 to hold. And so then there's the other aspect 00:11:44.620 --> 00:11:47.600 of like, I don't feel like I'm bonding with my 00:11:47.600 --> 00:11:51.659 newborn baby as much as I want to or should be. 00:11:52.039 --> 00:11:56.279 And that part is like really hard for me to emotionally 00:11:56.279 --> 00:12:00.080 wrap my head around because I'm like, I've been 00:12:00.080 --> 00:12:03.919 like physically attached to Cruz, this little 00:12:03.919 --> 00:12:08.539 tiny baby for nine months. And now I'm just like, 00:12:08.480 --> 00:12:11.039 Here, Michael, you got to hold the baby because 00:12:11.039 --> 00:12:14.480 Colt won't Colt won't let me hold the baby, which 00:12:14.480 --> 00:12:16.559 I know there's the side of like, oh, he's just 00:12:16.559 --> 00:12:19.879 got to get used to it too. But yeah, I'm trying 00:12:19.879 --> 00:12:23.580 to like trying to be there for everybody, which 00:12:23.580 --> 00:12:26.820 is really so difficult. And also take care of 00:12:26.820 --> 00:12:30.799 myself as I'm still like kind of recovering from 00:12:30.799 --> 00:12:34.679 from having a baby three weeks ago. I don't know. 00:12:34.679 --> 00:12:37.039 I just feel like I'm being pulled in so many 00:12:37.039 --> 00:12:40.909 different like emotional directions and and physical 00:12:40.909 --> 00:12:43.750 directions too for sure of like trying to be 00:12:43.750 --> 00:12:49.090 like there for every every child in my home and 00:12:49.090 --> 00:12:52.409 wrap my head around like everything we've just 00:12:52.409 --> 00:12:55.169 been through and all the change and and it's 00:12:55.169 --> 00:13:01.129 just been a lot so my adjustment has been not 00:13:01.129 --> 00:13:04.070 the easiest how's it been for how's it been for 00:13:04.070 --> 00:13:07.049 you You know, I think ours definitely has not 00:13:07.049 --> 00:13:11.549 been as dramatic as your guys's. Lloyd has like, 00:13:11.750 --> 00:13:14.090 so definitely would agree the hardest part is 00:13:14.090 --> 00:13:16.909 having a toddler amongst us rather than like 00:13:16.909 --> 00:13:20.870 having a newborn. But he loves his baby sister, 00:13:21.009 --> 00:13:25.049 which is like really sweet. It is super hard 00:13:25.049 --> 00:13:27.440 and like I definitely. agree with you of just 00:13:27.440 --> 00:13:30.519 like feeling pulled in all the directions and 00:13:30.519 --> 00:13:33.759 you know feeling guilty because I'm like I can't 00:13:33.759 --> 00:13:37.139 read that book to you right this second or I 00:13:37.139 --> 00:13:40.720 can't help you with x y or z you know and he 00:13:40.720 --> 00:13:43.279 he does this little help up which means help 00:13:43.279 --> 00:13:46.460 help yeah and it's so cute and so sweet and like 00:13:46.460 --> 00:13:48.799 there are times I'm like dude I'm like I wish 00:13:48.799 --> 00:13:51.240 I could but I can't you know I'm I'm feeding 00:13:51.240 --> 00:13:54.549 your sister right now Does that usually create 00:13:54.549 --> 00:13:57.649 a tantrum or anything? Sometimes. Understand 00:13:57.649 --> 00:14:01.649 for the most part or somewhat. Yeah. I don't 00:14:01.649 --> 00:14:03.269 know that he understands that he kind of just 00:14:03.269 --> 00:14:06.190 like moves on. Yeah. Yeah. But then we definitely 00:14:06.190 --> 00:14:08.529 have the times when it's like it turns into a 00:14:08.529 --> 00:14:12.370 tantrum. And then I think more than anything, 00:14:13.350 --> 00:14:16.169 the way my sister put it is like he's more aware 00:14:16.169 --> 00:14:18.590 because I think he's definitely realized like, 00:14:18.769 --> 00:14:21.210 oh, he gets attention when like if he gets hurt 00:14:21.210 --> 00:14:24.450 or something. He gets attention. And so then 00:14:24.450 --> 00:14:26.789 it's like, he hams it up a little bit more, you 00:14:26.789 --> 00:14:27.970 know, or it's like, there are things where I'm 00:14:27.970 --> 00:14:29.970 like, I know you wouldn't normally be this upset 00:14:29.970 --> 00:14:31.830 about the fact that you just like tripped over 00:14:31.830 --> 00:14:34.730 your own feet. But now you, now it's a little 00:14:34.730 --> 00:14:38.090 more dramatic. Finally, there was one day that 00:14:38.090 --> 00:14:39.889 I just, I told him, I was like, I don't know 00:14:39.889 --> 00:14:41.549 if he's actually gonna understand what I'm saying, 00:14:41.730 --> 00:14:47.049 but I'm gonna try. Cause he, He like fell but 00:14:47.049 --> 00:14:48.590 it was one of those things where like did like 00:14:48.590 --> 00:14:51.190 I feel like you fell on purpose Yeah, and then 00:14:51.190 --> 00:14:53.070 he like kind of started crying. But again, I 00:14:53.070 --> 00:14:55.389 was like I can tell you're not actually hurt 00:14:55.389 --> 00:14:58.350 right now. Yeah And so I was like buddy if you 00:14:58.350 --> 00:15:00.950 want a hug like you can just come ask me you 00:15:00.950 --> 00:15:04.669 don't have to get hurt and like I think he understood 00:15:04.669 --> 00:15:08.009 it because Now I also kind of that makes me feel 00:15:08.009 --> 00:15:09.649 bad when there are times when I'm like, but now 00:15:09.649 --> 00:15:12.879 I can't give you a hug Yeah, but he like I think 00:15:12.879 --> 00:15:15.159 kind of understood it because after that it's 00:15:15.159 --> 00:15:17.820 like he stopped not quite not all the time But 00:15:17.820 --> 00:15:20.080 it's like he stopped pretending to get her at 00:15:20.080 --> 00:15:23.279 least for attention and so he but he will like 00:15:23.279 --> 00:15:26.659 come over to me and like put his arms up and 00:15:26.659 --> 00:15:28.899 Just want a hug and just want a hug. So I'm like 00:15:28.899 --> 00:15:31.659 trying to be like, oh, yeah He's still a little 00:15:31.659 --> 00:15:33.320 guy. Like I think that's actually one of the 00:15:33.320 --> 00:15:37.379 hardest things for me is like He's not even two. 00:15:37.600 --> 00:15:40.679 No, he still needs his mom to like That's such 00:15:40.679 --> 00:15:43.639 a silly thing to like have to remind myself of, 00:15:43.820 --> 00:15:46.460 but it's like, yeah, he still needs snuggles 00:15:46.460 --> 00:15:50.039 and affection and it looks different because 00:15:50.039 --> 00:15:53.899 he's older, but he still needs that just as much 00:15:53.899 --> 00:15:56.279 as Ada does, even though, you know, he's not 00:15:56.279 --> 00:15:58.480 nursing or whatever. Yeah. I think one thing 00:15:58.480 --> 00:16:03.639 to me that was so crazy was how big Colt seemed 00:16:03.639 --> 00:16:07.899 after having Cruz. We also feel like Lloyd legitimately 00:16:07.899 --> 00:16:09.539 went through a girls' party at the same time. 00:16:09.960 --> 00:16:12.759 Like we were expecting him to look huge and then. 00:16:12.860 --> 00:16:15.100 And then he just became huge. Yeah. But then 00:16:15.100 --> 00:16:17.519 also we're like, he changed clothing. He like 00:16:17.519 --> 00:16:19.299 moved up a clothing size at the same time. And 00:16:19.299 --> 00:16:21.960 like his face looks like an adult now and all 00:16:21.960 --> 00:16:24.360 of these things. But I think that plays a part 00:16:24.360 --> 00:16:28.080 in like why it's so crazy to wrap your head around 00:16:28.080 --> 00:16:30.639 all of that, because I don't know, like Colt 00:16:30.639 --> 00:16:33.559 just looks like a little boy now. It's just weird 00:16:33.559 --> 00:16:37.100 to wrap my head around that. Yeah. Yeah. What 00:16:37.100 --> 00:16:41.639 has been like the most fun part for you? So, 00:16:41.639 --> 00:16:43.399 I mean, I think definitely watching Lloyd become 00:16:43.399 --> 00:16:45.840 a big brother. It's like we just didn't know 00:16:45.840 --> 00:16:48.580 what to expect. And again, like there's stories 00:16:48.580 --> 00:16:53.299 all over, right, of how kids react. And he's 00:16:53.299 --> 00:16:57.120 just been so sweet and he likes to lay next to 00:16:57.120 --> 00:16:59.220 her during tummy time and stuff like that, which 00:16:59.220 --> 00:17:01.779 is really fun. I think that's been the most fun 00:17:01.779 --> 00:17:04.039 part so far. That's so fun. What about for you 00:17:04.039 --> 00:17:07.880 guys? I think like Yes, I talked about all the 00:17:07.880 --> 00:17:11.779 hard that we have had in adjusting to 202, but 00:17:11.779 --> 00:17:14.819 there are really sweet moments of it too. Like 00:17:14.819 --> 00:17:17.859 Colt does like kiss his brother on the head and 00:17:17.859 --> 00:17:19.579 he'll just do it out of nowhere. That's really 00:17:19.579 --> 00:17:22.180 cute. Like he, yeah, he'll be like playing and 00:17:22.180 --> 00:17:24.559 then he'll just stop and like see that his brother 00:17:24.559 --> 00:17:28.240 is nearby and he like comes over and he still 00:17:28.240 --> 00:17:30.819 has his passy. So he'll like take his passy out 00:17:30.819 --> 00:17:33.720 and then like he knows that he should he needs 00:17:33.720 --> 00:17:36.460 to kiss him on the head like he's tried to kiss 00:17:36.460 --> 00:17:39.359 him like on the mouth multiple times and we've 00:17:39.359 --> 00:17:41.599 we're trying to not do that we're not doing that 00:17:41.599 --> 00:17:44.579 yeah and so he like knows to gently kiss him 00:17:44.579 --> 00:17:46.700 on the head and sometimes he doesn't even like 00:17:46.700 --> 00:17:49.400 make contact with his head he'll be like a foot 00:17:49.400 --> 00:17:53.200 away and he'll just i'm like it's that's so nice 00:17:53.200 --> 00:17:57.039 buddy so sweet yeah and so that is been has been 00:17:57.039 --> 00:18:00.170 really really really sweet to see him do that, 00:18:00.190 --> 00:18:02.390 or he'll come over and just like, he sees him 00:18:02.390 --> 00:18:05.769 like patting his back or trying to burp the baby, 00:18:05.890 --> 00:18:07.650 and he'll just like come over and try to help 00:18:07.650 --> 00:18:11.670 me pat him. Yeah, and that is, I mean, that's 00:18:11.670 --> 00:18:13.069 just so cute. It's really funny when we're at 00:18:13.069 --> 00:18:15.569 the dinner table, because like, obviously Zeta's 00:18:15.569 --> 00:18:17.950 with us there a lot of the time, and like, if 00:18:17.950 --> 00:18:19.950 one of us is patting her back, Lloyd just like 00:18:19.950 --> 00:18:23.559 puts his hand out and like... Pats in the air 00:18:23.559 --> 00:18:26.319 and then he'll do it until we like move her close 00:18:26.319 --> 00:18:28.099 enough to him that he can like pat her back a 00:18:28.099 --> 00:18:31.059 couple times. That's really cute. I love that. 00:18:31.319 --> 00:18:33.220 So what what what do you think was harder for 00:18:33.220 --> 00:18:36.180 you? Zero to one or one to two? One to two. Oh 00:18:36.180 --> 00:18:39.440 really? Yeah, I I really do. And maybe it's because 00:18:39.440 --> 00:18:42.799 I'm just like in it right now. Sure. And I know 00:18:42.799 --> 00:18:46.299 like the majority of people I talked with before 00:18:46.299 --> 00:18:50.119 giving birth said that zero to one was the hardest 00:18:50.119 --> 00:18:55.170 for them. And I can see, like I see that the 00:18:55.170 --> 00:18:58.369 reality of that. But now that I'm in the thick 00:18:58.369 --> 00:19:03.470 of like one to two, I think that just the multitasking 00:19:03.470 --> 00:19:08.730 and trying to keep my toddler entertained and 00:19:08.730 --> 00:19:11.450 happy and feeling like he's getting the attention 00:19:11.450 --> 00:19:16.789 that he needs has been really an adjustment for 00:19:16.789 --> 00:19:19.900 us. But I also, I don't know, I go back to zero 00:19:19.900 --> 00:19:22.660 to one and being like that was like our whole 00:19:22.660 --> 00:19:25.980 lives changed. Yeah, that's the thing that I 00:19:25.980 --> 00:19:27.920 feel like is the something like I think zero 00:19:27.920 --> 00:19:30.579 to one was harder for us. Yeah. But that's like 00:19:30.579 --> 00:19:33.460 the big difference is like before you have kids, 00:19:33.460 --> 00:19:35.619 there's so many things like I think of some of 00:19:35.619 --> 00:19:38.700 the things we did before we had kids. Like there 00:19:38.700 --> 00:19:40.240 was one time there was a baseball game we wanted 00:19:40.240 --> 00:19:42.200 to go to and we bought tickets like five hours 00:19:42.200 --> 00:19:45.400 before and we were out till like 12 or one a 00:19:45.400 --> 00:19:48.170 .m. and just like That was like spontaneity. 00:19:48.349 --> 00:19:50.029 Yeah, it was super spontaneous. And now we're 00:19:50.029 --> 00:19:53.410 like, could we do that? Maybe like, you know, 00:19:53.529 --> 00:19:55.769 maybe we'd have grandparents available on short 00:19:55.769 --> 00:19:58.750 notice to babysit or. We just decide that it 00:19:58.750 --> 00:20:00.250 was going to be an exhausting night. We definitely 00:20:00.250 --> 00:20:02.869 wouldn't stay out as late this time, but like, 00:20:02.970 --> 00:20:05.309 so you have like these life change adjustments 00:20:05.309 --> 00:20:07.589 or like even just leaving the house, right? Where 00:20:07.589 --> 00:20:09.789 you're like, okay, it's going to take me half 00:20:09.789 --> 00:20:11.990 an hour to get ready to leave the house. And 00:20:11.990 --> 00:20:15.009 so then the adjustment from one to two, like 00:20:15.009 --> 00:20:16.809 you're already thinking about all those things, 00:20:16.809 --> 00:20:18.609 right? You know, if you want to do something 00:20:18.609 --> 00:20:20.309 last minute, you're already thinking about like, 00:20:20.529 --> 00:20:23.250 is this possible? Like, could we get a babysitter 00:20:23.250 --> 00:20:24.849 last minute or like, is this something we could 00:20:24.849 --> 00:20:28.470 take the kids to or? you know and leaving the 00:20:28.470 --> 00:20:31.529 house you're already like planning for that extra 00:20:31.529 --> 00:20:34.789 half hour yeah to get everyone together so like 00:20:34.789 --> 00:20:36.789 you still need a little more time now because 00:20:36.789 --> 00:20:40.990 you have two kids yeah but it like not the big 00:20:40.990 --> 00:20:43.509 jump like just getting yourself out of the house 00:20:43.509 --> 00:20:45.230 versus getting yourself and kids out of the house 00:20:45.230 --> 00:20:49.589 yeah there's a lot of thinking through everything 00:20:49.589 --> 00:20:52.250 and like well is the baby gonna need to eat like 00:20:52.250 --> 00:20:55.670 you gotta repack the diaper bag you know everything 00:20:55.670 --> 00:20:59.390 yeah Yeah, I would say one to two has definitely 00:20:59.390 --> 00:21:02.630 been a hard adjustment, a harder adjustment for 00:21:02.630 --> 00:21:06.450 us. But in reality, I can I feel like a lot of 00:21:06.450 --> 00:21:09.950 the zero to one transition for me, I totally 00:21:09.950 --> 00:21:12.910 forgot about. And the reality of it was like, 00:21:12.930 --> 00:21:16.750 I was not mentally OK in the zero to one transition. 00:21:16.750 --> 00:21:19.250 Right. And so I think I really I actually just 00:21:19.250 --> 00:21:23.210 blocked a lot of that out. And maybe that's. 00:21:23.259 --> 00:21:25.460 Yeah, and you've talked about that, like you 00:21:25.460 --> 00:21:27.759 ended up going to counseling after school because 00:21:27.759 --> 00:21:30.640 it was really tough mentally. Yes. It was just 00:21:30.640 --> 00:21:34.720 like, I had extreme anxiety and maybe that's 00:21:34.720 --> 00:21:37.539 why I just kind of blocked it out. But this time 00:21:37.539 --> 00:21:40.099 around, I haven't felt that as much. That's what 00:21:40.099 --> 00:21:42.240 I was going to ask. Yeah. I definitely have like 00:21:42.240 --> 00:21:46.039 the, like the jumping to crazy conclusions a 00:21:46.039 --> 00:21:49.539 little bit. Like one thing that, yeah, I've been 00:21:49.539 --> 00:21:53.849 having recently is like, at nighttime, I'll check 00:21:53.849 --> 00:21:57.910 Colt's monitor. And I just keep envisioning someone 00:21:57.910 --> 00:22:01.109 breaking into our house and literally just me 00:22:01.109 --> 00:22:04.549 watching him being kidnapped on the monitor. 00:22:04.589 --> 00:22:08.190 That's one thing. I don't know why I didn't think 00:22:08.190 --> 00:22:10.940 that this would be a thing. with intrusive thoughts 00:22:10.940 --> 00:22:13.220 with the second one is now you have two kids 00:22:13.220 --> 00:22:15.279 to have intrusive thoughts about. Yes. For some 00:22:15.279 --> 00:22:17.140 reason, like, I guess I didn't think about it 00:22:17.140 --> 00:22:19.079 a ton, but I guess in my mind I was like, I'm 00:22:19.079 --> 00:22:20.579 just going to have intrusive thoughts about new 00:22:20.579 --> 00:22:23.079 baby. It's like, no, now I have two kids and 00:22:23.079 --> 00:22:25.099 I have one that I've known longer, to be honest. 00:22:25.200 --> 00:22:28.440 Yeah. That I can have, because almost all of 00:22:28.440 --> 00:22:31.240 my intrusive thoughts have been Lloyd centered 00:22:31.240 --> 00:22:33.099 this time around. Really? Like there've been 00:22:33.099 --> 00:22:35.519 like a couple where it's like, oh, I'm accidentally 00:22:35.519 --> 00:22:37.299 going to drop her walking down the stairs or, 00:22:37.339 --> 00:22:40.279 you know, some stuff like that that like I also 00:22:40.279 --> 00:22:43.880 had with Lloyd, but like the specific ones are 00:22:43.880 --> 00:22:46.759 all very Lloyd centered. I would say probably 00:22:46.759 --> 00:22:49.640 the same for me too. And it's more just like, 00:22:49.640 --> 00:22:53.500 yeah, like things happening to him when I'm not 00:22:53.500 --> 00:22:55.900 there. Yeah, something like that. Yeah, like 00:22:55.900 --> 00:22:58.740 the whole kidnapping thing or him like falling 00:22:58.740 --> 00:23:01.460 down the stairs, which he has done before, but 00:23:01.460 --> 00:23:05.630 like just all these. crazy, drastic things that 00:23:05.630 --> 00:23:09.529 it's been wild. But yeah, this time around, I 00:23:09.529 --> 00:23:13.430 feel like I'm less anxious, especially about 00:23:13.430 --> 00:23:17.410 my newborn. Like Colt had really bad reflux, 00:23:17.809 --> 00:23:22.089 so he spit up a ton and Cruz has it too. But 00:23:22.089 --> 00:23:25.490 I'm not like nearly as concerned this time. Like 00:23:25.490 --> 00:23:27.730 it just is what it is. Like we're going through 00:23:27.730 --> 00:23:29.829 multiple outfits a day. And again, you're kind 00:23:29.829 --> 00:23:32.460 of like. Okay, we got through this the first 00:23:32.460 --> 00:23:34.400 time. Yeah, I'm like there's an end in sight 00:23:34.400 --> 00:23:36.920 like we can we can get through it It's nothing 00:23:36.920 --> 00:23:39.720 we haven't been through before Yes, it kind of 00:23:39.720 --> 00:23:42.900 sucks in the night whenever he spits up in his 00:23:42.900 --> 00:23:46.180 bassinet and I have to change his clothes or 00:23:46.180 --> 00:23:48.980 Change his swaddle and and change the sheet that 00:23:48.980 --> 00:23:51.440 he's sleeping on but I'm not nearly as concerned 00:23:51.440 --> 00:23:54.480 that he's gonna Choke on his spit up and die 00:23:54.480 --> 00:23:57.400 in his sleep, you know, right whereas with Colt 00:23:57.400 --> 00:24:00.990 it was like that was all new to me Yeah. And 00:24:00.990 --> 00:24:04.910 I just had no clue. Right. And I was like scared 00:24:04.910 --> 00:24:08.089 of, yeah, scared of his eating and if he was 00:24:08.089 --> 00:24:10.809 gaining enough and holding enough in. And this 00:24:10.809 --> 00:24:14.210 time it's not as concerning for me, I guess. 00:24:14.490 --> 00:24:16.309 Yeah, no, I would agree. There's just like so 00:24:16.309 --> 00:24:19.410 many little things that like you Google the first 00:24:19.410 --> 00:24:22.950 time around. And I also feel like there's a level 00:24:22.950 --> 00:24:27.619 of you're given so many rules. as a mom like 00:24:27.619 --> 00:24:29.859 whether that's from like actual doctors or just 00:24:29.859 --> 00:24:32.480 like what you see online and what you know you've 00:24:32.480 --> 00:24:35.579 read and all of those things and as a first time 00:24:35.579 --> 00:24:39.339 mom I think I felt like if one of those rules 00:24:39.339 --> 00:24:42.279 wasn't working that meant I was failing as a 00:24:42.279 --> 00:24:45.519 mom and now this time I'm kind of like like one 00:24:45.519 --> 00:24:48.180 of the things was and I'm sure you heard this 00:24:48.180 --> 00:24:50.680 too it's like to like create good sleep habits, 00:24:50.720 --> 00:24:52.980 you need to put your infant in their bassinet 00:24:52.980 --> 00:24:56.079 drowsy but awake. Yep. Drowsy but awake. So tried 00:24:56.079 --> 00:24:58.299 that so much with Lloyd and it ended in tears 00:24:58.299 --> 00:25:00.839 from everyone. Yes. Every single time because 00:25:00.839 --> 00:25:02.900 he would just be screaming. And then I'm like, 00:25:02.940 --> 00:25:05.220 do I leave? Like, what do I do? I don't know. 00:25:05.480 --> 00:25:07.700 And then finally, we just stopped doing that 00:25:07.700 --> 00:25:10.980 and he was fine. Yeah. And then he would sleep. 00:25:11.059 --> 00:25:14.039 Yeah. And all of that. And so with Zeta, I'm 00:25:14.039 --> 00:25:17.019 like, well, I try it. Sure. If it doesn't work, 00:25:17.279 --> 00:25:19.920 then I'll move on. and I'll try something else 00:25:19.920 --> 00:25:21.759 and figure out what does work for her and what 00:25:21.759 --> 00:25:24.339 works for us and our family. So I feel like you 00:25:24.339 --> 00:25:26.859 know when to break the rules more. What are the 00:25:26.859 --> 00:25:28.640 ones that are like, oh no, that's actually a 00:25:28.640 --> 00:25:31.680 life and death thing or a health thing that we 00:25:31.680 --> 00:25:34.400 should be really following or much more concerned 00:25:34.400 --> 00:25:36.039 about, whatever. And then what are the ones that 00:25:36.039 --> 00:25:38.359 are like, okay, someone online said this and 00:25:38.359 --> 00:25:40.900 it might work for some kids and that's great 00:25:40.900 --> 00:25:44.339 and it might not work for ours and that's fine 00:25:44.339 --> 00:25:46.619 and then we'll figure out what works for us and 00:25:46.619 --> 00:25:49.900 that's it. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like as we're talking 00:25:49.900 --> 00:25:51.680 about this more, I think I want to change my 00:25:51.680 --> 00:25:54.299 answer to, I think zero to one probably was harder. 00:25:54.619 --> 00:25:57.200 And like another thing that I'm thinking of that 00:25:57.200 --> 00:25:59.819 makes me think that is like this is the sleep 00:25:59.819 --> 00:26:02.259 deprivation. Like going from zero to one, you 00:26:02.259 --> 00:26:05.140 just have no clue what the sleep deprivation 00:26:05.140 --> 00:26:08.240 feels like, what it's going to be like. And this 00:26:08.240 --> 00:26:10.720 time around, I feel like I've just accepted the 00:26:10.720 --> 00:26:12.559 fact like, Oh, I'm going to, I'm going to be 00:26:12.559 --> 00:26:16.019 tired. And like, yes, I'm going to wake up multiple 00:26:16.019 --> 00:26:19.390 times a night. And that's just it is what it 00:26:19.390 --> 00:26:22.470 is right now. I think the sleep deprivation for 00:26:22.470 --> 00:26:27.630 me from zero to one was the hardest aspect of 00:26:27.630 --> 00:26:31.009 like adjusting our lives to having a child was 00:26:31.009 --> 00:26:33.950 like the no sleep because sleep to me was so 00:26:33.950 --> 00:26:37.849 precious. Right. And you just like don't get 00:26:37.849 --> 00:26:41.150 to choose when you sleep. No, it's like the reality 00:26:41.150 --> 00:26:43.890 is like when the baby's hungry, like They're 00:26:43.890 --> 00:26:45.829 hungry. They're hungry. You got to wake up and 00:26:45.829 --> 00:26:48.609 you got to feed the baby and like you're changing 00:26:48.609 --> 00:26:51.130 diapers or changing clothes or whatever. Yeah. 00:26:51.210 --> 00:26:53.509 And that time. The other thing with like the 00:26:53.509 --> 00:26:55.849 sleep deprivation is, and just like sleep in 00:26:55.849 --> 00:26:58.849 general, is babies are such noisy sleepers. Yes. 00:26:58.930 --> 00:27:01.990 I did not know that. I had people, like I had 00:27:01.990 --> 00:27:04.950 heard that going in, but like, you don't know 00:27:04.950 --> 00:27:07.269 until you know. No. Like there were so many. 00:27:07.440 --> 00:27:10.539 times when I'm sure I woke Lloyd up and he was 00:27:10.539 --> 00:27:13.599 just like being a noisy sleeper and because you're 00:27:13.599 --> 00:27:16.380 so worried of like I don't want to like if he's 00:27:16.380 --> 00:27:18.440 hungry I don't want to miss it and yeah and you 00:27:18.440 --> 00:27:20.680 think they're awake right it like really sounds 00:27:20.680 --> 00:27:23.220 like they're awake and so this time around I 00:27:23.220 --> 00:27:27.700 think I've gotten better sleep because I'm like 00:27:27.700 --> 00:27:30.460 I'm just going till she's like till I know for 00:27:30.460 --> 00:27:32.640 a fact she's awake till she's like actually crying 00:27:32.640 --> 00:27:35.779 or like eyes are open or something like that 00:27:35.779 --> 00:27:38.940 that I'm like Guarantee she's awake instead of 00:27:38.940 --> 00:27:41.160 just thinking that the little grunts in the like 00:27:41.160 --> 00:27:44.619 because sometimes I mean especially I feel like 00:27:44.619 --> 00:27:47.259 Lloyd did this too, but I can say for sure with 00:27:47.259 --> 00:27:49.900 Zeta their time So I'm like, she's like let out 00:27:49.900 --> 00:27:52.500 a cry and I've like turned on the light and looked 00:27:52.500 --> 00:27:55.880 at her and she's fast asleep Yes, same with Cruz 00:27:55.880 --> 00:27:58.160 and I'm sure that happened with Lloyd and instead 00:27:58.160 --> 00:28:02.660 of just like Okay I'm just gonna go back to sleep. 00:28:02.740 --> 00:28:04.980 Yeah, and like she'll wake me up if she's actually 00:28:04.980 --> 00:28:07.460 awake then like with Lord I feel like I would 00:28:07.460 --> 00:28:10.839 have like Picked him up and woke him up and made 00:28:10.839 --> 00:28:13.279 it worse for everyone. Yeah, I remember with 00:28:13.279 --> 00:28:16.160 Cole I I'm sure I woke him up multiple times 00:28:16.160 --> 00:28:19.380 but there was one specific time that I remember 00:28:19.380 --> 00:28:21.500 picking him up and it literally like his whole 00:28:21.500 --> 00:28:25.700 body like startled and jumped and like the startle 00:28:25.700 --> 00:28:29.839 reflex thing, but like I felt so terrible because 00:28:29.839 --> 00:28:32.769 I was like Oh, I literally just woke him up out 00:28:32.769 --> 00:28:35.829 of the deepest sleep thinking he was awake. Right. 00:28:36.130 --> 00:28:38.490 And now I'm having to do this whole like feed 00:28:38.490 --> 00:28:40.930 him change, you know, I'm having to do all this 00:28:40.930 --> 00:28:43.869 and I'm so mad at myself because I just woke 00:28:43.869 --> 00:28:46.049 him up when I could be sleeping. He could be 00:28:46.049 --> 00:28:49.190 sleeping. So we all would be happier. Yeah. Yeah. 00:28:49.329 --> 00:28:52.509 But that was one thing that I I don't think anyone 00:28:52.509 --> 00:28:56.900 had told me was how noisy of a sleeper. I had 00:28:56.900 --> 00:28:59.059 been told that and I was definitely not prepared 00:28:59.059 --> 00:29:02.680 for like what that actually it's like almost 00:29:02.680 --> 00:29:05.240 like being with someone who sleep talks. Yes. 00:29:05.400 --> 00:29:08.579 Which Colt does now, which is funny and fun. 00:29:09.039 --> 00:29:10.559 Because then what does he talk about in his sleep? 00:29:11.180 --> 00:29:13.660 Just random words. He'll just. That's adorable. 00:29:13.980 --> 00:29:16.059 Yeah, it is really cute. But I think he's awake 00:29:16.059 --> 00:29:18.740 in there. Right. So same thing for like my toddler 00:29:18.740 --> 00:29:21.960 now, too, is like, I think he's awake. I feel 00:29:21.960 --> 00:29:24.990 like. Yeah. Now that we talk about it more, I 00:29:24.990 --> 00:29:28.309 want to change my answer to zero to one is harder 00:29:28.309 --> 00:29:31.470 because it is such, it's literally an entire 00:29:31.470 --> 00:29:34.390 life adjustment. Whereas with one to two, yeah, 00:29:34.390 --> 00:29:36.630 there's certain parts of your life that are adjusting, 00:29:36.630 --> 00:29:40.210 but you've already had like one to adjust to. 00:29:40.329 --> 00:29:43.029 It's just now adding. Yeah. And there is a lot 00:29:43.029 --> 00:29:46.809 of shock with one to two as well. It's just like 00:29:46.809 --> 00:29:50.430 different. Yeah. What has been like the most 00:29:50.430 --> 00:29:56.559 surprising? aspect. I think like simultaneously 00:29:56.559 --> 00:29:59.220 how easy and how hard it is. Yeah. Because like 00:29:59.220 --> 00:30:02.559 I mean it depends on the day for sure and there 00:30:02.559 --> 00:30:04.460 are certain days when I'm like wow why don't 00:30:04.460 --> 00:30:06.700 people have all the kids like this is so easy 00:30:06.700 --> 00:30:09.480 and then there are other days like I told you 00:30:09.480 --> 00:30:12.980 yesterday morning I like Texas sewer. And I was 00:30:12.980 --> 00:30:15.640 like, guess how long it was before all three 00:30:15.640 --> 00:30:18.539 of us were crying simultaneously today. And he 00:30:18.539 --> 00:30:20.200 was like, was it an hour? And I was like, no, 00:30:20.299 --> 00:30:22.259 we didn't even make it an hour this morning before 00:30:22.259 --> 00:30:24.460 we all got up and all of us were crying because 00:30:24.460 --> 00:30:28.160 that's like just the reality. So I think like, 00:30:28.180 --> 00:30:30.480 yeah, I guess the most surprising thing is like 00:30:30.480 --> 00:30:33.420 some days and I don't know why this is even surprising 00:30:33.420 --> 00:30:36.599 because this is also just motherhood is like, 00:30:36.640 --> 00:30:39.259 yeah, some days we're doing great. And I'm like, 00:30:40.200 --> 00:30:43.039 we went to Costco. just the three of us and got 00:30:43.039 --> 00:30:45.480 grocery shopping done and you know we made it 00:30:45.480 --> 00:30:47.940 to the park just the three of us and i'm you 00:30:47.940 --> 00:30:51.039 know feel like i'm nailing it and then how i 00:30:51.039 --> 00:30:53.240 guess how easy that can flip because then it's 00:30:53.240 --> 00:30:56.240 like oh and then one thing went wrong and now 00:30:56.490 --> 00:31:00.569 Now it's full of tantrums and I'm holding on 00:31:00.569 --> 00:31:03.569 by a thread and I don't know what Zeta wants 00:31:03.569 --> 00:31:07.630 and and and and all in your head about everything 00:31:07.630 --> 00:31:10.470 and yeah and like obviously like he's Lloyd's 00:31:10.470 --> 00:31:12.230 gonna be in therapy in 20 years talking about 00:31:12.230 --> 00:31:15.029 this because because of this one thing that happened 00:31:15.029 --> 00:31:18.569 yeah yeah that's so true. What about you what's 00:31:18.569 --> 00:31:23.490 been the most surprising? I think for me I think 00:31:23.490 --> 00:31:28.369 how maybe how I am as a mother has been the most 00:31:28.369 --> 00:31:32.049 surprising. And what I mean by that is, yes, 00:31:32.130 --> 00:31:35.890 my toddler has been wanting my attention so much, 00:31:36.190 --> 00:31:38.630 but I think my mindset has changed towards the 00:31:38.630 --> 00:31:43.029 newborn phase. I think with Colt, I felt like 00:31:43.029 --> 00:31:48.630 I should hold him all the time, 24 -7, every 00:31:48.630 --> 00:31:53.289 single nap. I just needed to hold him because 00:31:53.289 --> 00:31:58.309 he... I felt like he needed me to. And with Cruz, 00:31:58.869 --> 00:32:02.730 I think that mindset has kind of shifted. And 00:32:02.730 --> 00:32:04.789 I don't know if this makes me sound like a terrible 00:32:04.789 --> 00:32:08.549 mother, but I feel like with Cruz, it's like, 00:32:08.549 --> 00:32:12.410 oh, he's okay with me putting him down and letting 00:32:12.410 --> 00:32:15.529 him have some floor time and tummy time on his 00:32:15.529 --> 00:32:18.730 own for 15, 20 minutes while I'm playing with 00:32:18.730 --> 00:32:23.099 Colt. Stewart's comment was how much more comfortable 00:32:23.099 --> 00:32:27.059 we are with crying now yes yeah so one of our 00:32:27.059 --> 00:32:30.660 like daily routine things is so Lloyd helps us 00:32:30.660 --> 00:32:33.619 put Zeta in her bassinet but she doesn't actually 00:32:33.619 --> 00:32:35.539 go to sleep in her bassinet yet we just want 00:32:35.539 --> 00:32:37.720 him to like feel like he's putting her to bed 00:32:37.720 --> 00:32:41.380 yeah um and then after that I grab her and we 00:32:41.380 --> 00:32:44.200 go downstairs and I usually put her in her swing 00:32:44.200 --> 00:32:46.099 or on the floor something like that and I just 00:32:46.099 --> 00:32:48.539 like tidy the house you know put toys away put 00:32:48.539 --> 00:32:51.410 dishes away all of that And I don't take like 00:32:51.410 --> 00:32:53.789 a super, it's like a five, 10 minute tidy. This 00:32:53.789 --> 00:32:56.069 happens every night and almost every night she's 00:32:56.069 --> 00:32:59.289 crying. And I know that she's either hungry or 00:32:59.289 --> 00:33:02.690 just wants to be held. The thing is she can wait 00:33:02.690 --> 00:33:04.750 five minutes for either of those things. She's 00:33:04.750 --> 00:33:09.470 okay. She's not so hungry that she's gonna die 00:33:09.470 --> 00:33:11.190 or anything like that in the five minutes that 00:33:11.190 --> 00:33:13.589 she has to wait for me to feed her. If she wants 00:33:13.589 --> 00:33:15.109 to be held, she can wait a couple of minutes 00:33:15.109 --> 00:33:17.400 for me to hold her. It's not the end of the world 00:33:17.400 --> 00:33:19.339 that she's crying. And this is like pretty much 00:33:19.339 --> 00:33:21.200 a nightly routine where it's like she'll cry 00:33:21.200 --> 00:33:23.200 for a few minutes. I get everything cleaned up 00:33:23.200 --> 00:33:25.339 and then I grab her and we can all enjoy the 00:33:25.339 --> 00:33:28.460 night. You know, Stuart and I can like have some 00:33:28.460 --> 00:33:30.779 time, you know, have some time. You know, one 00:33:30.779 --> 00:33:32.779 of us will be holding her for until we go to 00:33:32.779 --> 00:33:35.000 bed kind of thing. Yeah. You know, the house 00:33:35.000 --> 00:33:36.720 is clean, so we feel a little bit less stressed 00:33:36.720 --> 00:33:39.259 because that's just you know, that's one of the 00:33:39.259 --> 00:33:40.940 things for us is like a cluttered house just 00:33:40.940 --> 00:33:43.900 feels super stressful. Yeah. And yeah, we're 00:33:43.900 --> 00:33:46.640 not like as panicked of like, I have to fix whatever 00:33:46.640 --> 00:33:49.019 she's crying about in this moment. Yeah. Like 00:33:49.019 --> 00:33:50.819 obviously I don't want her to cry and I want 00:33:50.819 --> 00:33:54.200 to fix. Fix it. Fix it. But it doesn't have to 00:33:54.200 --> 00:33:58.619 be this like right now, especially if it's something 00:33:58.619 --> 00:34:01.680 like, oh, I kind of I think I know why you're 00:34:01.680 --> 00:34:03.920 crying. Yeah. You know, like if it's something 00:34:03.920 --> 00:34:06.380 like if I thought she was hurt. or something 00:34:06.380 --> 00:34:08.260 obviously that's different that would be different 00:34:08.260 --> 00:34:10.500 but it's like no like you just want to be held 00:34:10.500 --> 00:34:13.099 which is fine and i'm happy to hold you you got 00:34:13.099 --> 00:34:16.360 to give me a minute though yeah yep yeah i think 00:34:16.360 --> 00:34:18.500 the same thing like even when i was on my way 00:34:18.500 --> 00:34:22.280 over here today like cruz pretty much cried the 00:34:22.280 --> 00:34:27.000 entire drive over here and with col it was like 00:34:27.000 --> 00:34:30.619 a it was like something inside of me needed to 00:34:30.619 --> 00:34:34.039 fix it like if he cried it all in the car seat 00:34:34.039 --> 00:34:37.840 i was pulling over and trying to give him his 00:34:37.840 --> 00:34:41.940 passi or try to feed him and fix it right then 00:34:41.940 --> 00:34:45.079 and try to get him to stop crying. And then this 00:34:45.079 --> 00:34:47.920 time driving over here, I'm like, OK, I know 00:34:47.920 --> 00:34:52.880 he's OK. He just doesn't want to be in his car 00:34:52.880 --> 00:34:57.159 seat right now. He wants to be held or fed. But 00:34:57.159 --> 00:35:01.019 I know he's OK. It's going to be a few minutes 00:35:01.019 --> 00:35:04.400 of just... of crying and that's okay. Like it's 00:35:04.400 --> 00:35:06.659 still brought up like, I don't know, like I wanted 00:35:06.659 --> 00:35:09.380 to help him. But I was like, I know he's okay. 00:35:10.079 --> 00:35:15.000 And so the reality is like, I can't pull over 00:35:15.000 --> 00:35:17.340 every time. Like, especially if my toddler's 00:35:17.340 --> 00:35:20.920 in the car too. Like I just have to be okay with 00:35:20.920 --> 00:35:25.539 some tears and yeah. So I feel that entirely. 00:35:26.480 --> 00:35:28.320 Yeah. So what do you think? I mean, you kind 00:35:28.320 --> 00:35:29.800 of already talked about it, but what's been the 00:35:29.800 --> 00:35:33.530 hardest adjustment? Honest, I think like I was 00:35:33.530 --> 00:35:36.050 talking to one of my really good friends in California 00:35:36.050 --> 00:35:40.590 about this That with two kids now, it feels a 00:35:40.590 --> 00:35:45.289 lot like divide and conquer and so like Michael 00:35:45.289 --> 00:35:48.650 will have Colt and I'll have Cruz or like vice 00:35:48.650 --> 00:35:51.929 versa and it's not all it hasn't been a whole 00:35:51.929 --> 00:35:55.730 lot of like all of us together Yeah, and that 00:35:55.730 --> 00:35:58.460 has been a really hard adjustment for me And 00:35:58.460 --> 00:36:00.880 I think something that I want to change and shift 00:36:00.880 --> 00:36:03.579 around a little bit, because I don't want it 00:36:03.579 --> 00:36:06.219 to always be divide and conquer. And I mean, 00:36:06.219 --> 00:36:09.300 I don't think it always will. No. But right now 00:36:09.300 --> 00:36:12.539 it feels that way. And it feels like I am not 00:36:12.539 --> 00:36:16.280 getting a ton of time with my husband until the 00:36:16.280 --> 00:36:18.460 nighttime. And then you're tired. And we're so 00:36:18.460 --> 00:36:20.920 exhausted. Do we want to spend time together? 00:36:21.000 --> 00:36:23.300 Or do we want to get sleep? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. 00:36:23.840 --> 00:36:27.679 And so we'll watch a show together. We'll all 00:36:27.679 --> 00:36:29.719 go to bed and then we'll start it over again 00:36:29.719 --> 00:36:33.500 the next day and so I think that Yeah, but just 00:36:33.500 --> 00:36:35.500 that mindset of like divide and conquer right 00:36:35.500 --> 00:36:40.159 now is not What I want it to be for super long. 00:36:40.420 --> 00:36:44.780 Yeah, and so I Would like to try to shift some 00:36:44.780 --> 00:36:48.500 Aspects of how we're doing that but the reality 00:36:48.500 --> 00:36:51.860 of it is like it's just what's working right 00:36:51.860 --> 00:36:55.019 now I mean even like we try to do a lot of things 00:36:55.019 --> 00:36:57.949 together, but it's like this weekend we went 00:36:57.949 --> 00:37:01.250 to a playground and we would take turns one of 00:37:01.250 --> 00:37:03.969 us would be sitting with Zeta while she was in 00:37:03.969 --> 00:37:06.050 the stroller and the other would be chasing Lloyd 00:37:06.050 --> 00:37:08.289 around and then we'd like and then you'd switch 00:37:08.289 --> 00:37:10.809 out because like that's just kind of the reality 00:37:10.809 --> 00:37:13.670 of how where you're at right now right now yeah 00:37:13.670 --> 00:37:17.889 both kids need full attention so yeah it just 00:37:17.889 --> 00:37:21.000 is what it is yeah yeah what about you The hardest 00:37:21.000 --> 00:37:24.820 adjustment. I think it's been hard like not having 00:37:24.820 --> 00:37:27.159 a one -on -one time with Lloyd. You know, it's 00:37:27.159 --> 00:37:28.900 like we get little moments here and there where 00:37:28.900 --> 00:37:31.760 it's like Zeta's content but even then usually 00:37:31.760 --> 00:37:34.340 it's like he's helping her with tummy time or 00:37:34.340 --> 00:37:36.840 something like that. Which like on the flip side 00:37:36.840 --> 00:37:40.219 is also makes those moments when we do have like 00:37:40.219 --> 00:37:43.519 you know a minute to just like be mama and Lloyd 00:37:43.519 --> 00:37:45.280 again instead of like mama and Lloyd and Zeta. 00:37:45.280 --> 00:37:47.880 It makes those moments way more special but it's 00:37:47.880 --> 00:37:51.039 definitely hard to be like to go especially go 00:37:51.039 --> 00:37:55.420 from like all of our time was Together just the 00:37:55.420 --> 00:37:58.739 two of us and now it's not yeah, you know and 00:37:58.739 --> 00:38:01.440 now we rarely get that Yeah, so that's been I 00:38:01.440 --> 00:38:03.440 think that's been challenging Do you feel like 00:38:03.440 --> 00:38:06.559 it's been hard to give yourself grace? I don't 00:38:06.559 --> 00:38:08.840 know in those moments of I think it depends on 00:38:08.840 --> 00:38:11.219 the day again I think sometimes I'm really good 00:38:11.219 --> 00:38:13.960 at being like, you know, this is the season we're 00:38:13.960 --> 00:38:16.820 in and it's fine and you know we're going to 00:38:16.820 --> 00:38:18.500 get out of this and we'll, you know, I'll be 00:38:18.500 --> 00:38:21.039 able to like do things with just him again at, 00:38:21.039 --> 00:38:22.980 you know, some point. And then other days it 00:38:22.980 --> 00:38:25.139 is that like mom guilt thing of like, well, I'm 00:38:25.139 --> 00:38:27.940 the world's worst mother. And he's going to like, 00:38:27.960 --> 00:38:30.800 why did I do this to my child? Right. He's going 00:38:30.800 --> 00:38:33.320 to have all sorts of trauma because I couldn't 00:38:33.320 --> 00:38:35.440 read Llama Llama with him every single day anymore. 00:38:35.659 --> 00:38:37.360 Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, I do think it really 00:38:37.360 --> 00:38:39.420 just like depends on the moment for the most 00:38:39.420 --> 00:38:41.099 part. I think I'm pretty good at giving myself 00:38:41.099 --> 00:38:44.280 grace. But yeah, then you have those, especially 00:38:44.280 --> 00:38:48.039 when you're like postpartum you have those feelings 00:38:48.039 --> 00:38:51.639 creep up of like oh, but like what if and Mm 00:38:51.639 --> 00:38:54.739 -hmm. Yeah, just all of those hormones and feelings 00:38:54.739 --> 00:38:58.480 and I feel that entirely Mm -hmm. Yeah, the grace 00:38:58.480 --> 00:39:01.820 thing has been hard for me of like I just feel 00:39:01.820 --> 00:39:05.260 like I and I think I mentioned this earlier of 00:39:05.260 --> 00:39:08.719 like I just feel like I ruined Colt's life by 00:39:08.719 --> 00:39:11.780 bringing another child into it, which I know 00:39:11.780 --> 00:39:16.920 is entirely a lie but like I feel like, I mean, 00:39:17.019 --> 00:39:20.760 it drastically changed his life. And he didn't 00:39:20.760 --> 00:39:24.380 get to choose this. We chose to bring another 00:39:24.380 --> 00:39:27.840 child into this world. If he could choose, he 00:39:27.840 --> 00:39:30.139 probably would just have it be mommy, daddy, 00:39:30.260 --> 00:39:33.559 and culty for the rest of eternity. Especially 00:39:33.559 --> 00:39:36.159 as a one -year -old choosing, where he doesn't 00:39:36.159 --> 00:39:39.039 have the understanding, because they're not friends 00:39:39.039 --> 00:39:42.219 yet. They don't get to play together yet. you 00:39:42.219 --> 00:39:45.659 know, in a year and two years and going on, that 00:39:45.659 --> 00:39:47.539 starts to look different. It's like, oh no, you 00:39:47.539 --> 00:39:49.400 get to be little buddies. But right now it's 00:39:49.400 --> 00:39:53.619 just like, this thing is taking away my attention 00:39:53.619 --> 00:39:57.139 from mom. And that's pretty much all it kind 00:39:57.139 --> 00:40:00.000 of feels like. Yeah. So I pretty much every day, 00:40:00.199 --> 00:40:03.980 I have a moment of like, oh, I feel so sad for 00:40:03.980 --> 00:40:08.659 Colt and what we did. But in reality, it's like, 00:40:08.820 --> 00:40:11.429 it's the best thing. And he just doesn't know 00:40:11.429 --> 00:40:14.929 it yet. Like I said, yeah, I have wondered about 00:40:14.929 --> 00:40:18.789 like the older sibling adjustment if gender plays 00:40:18.789 --> 00:40:23.369 a part Because so Stewart's mom has some stories 00:40:23.369 --> 00:40:25.630 and Stewart has a brother who's about the same 00:40:25.630 --> 00:40:28.369 age gap from him his younger brother's about 00:40:28.369 --> 00:40:31.369 the same age gap and she has stories of Stewart 00:40:31.369 --> 00:40:33.829 adjusting and like kicking his brother. Yeah, 00:40:33.849 --> 00:40:37.170 and I was like, I wonder if there's like some 00:40:37.170 --> 00:40:40.789 intuitive thing Because Lloyd loves Zeta so much. 00:40:41.369 --> 00:40:44.110 Like if it was a little brother, would it be 00:40:44.110 --> 00:40:45.230 so different? If it was a little brother, if 00:40:45.230 --> 00:40:47.429 he would be different. Yeah. Because then like 00:40:47.429 --> 00:40:49.349 you said, it's been a tougher adjustment. So 00:40:49.349 --> 00:40:51.849 I'm like, is there like, with boys, it's a competition 00:40:51.849 --> 00:40:54.949 thing just right away. And with a boy and a girl, 00:40:55.130 --> 00:40:57.670 it's like this thing of like a protective thing. 00:40:57.690 --> 00:40:59.940 Yeah, I need to protect my little sister. And 00:40:59.940 --> 00:41:01.880 that could be completely wrong. I have no idea. 00:41:02.179 --> 00:41:04.619 I just wondered because it sounds like it could 00:41:04.619 --> 00:41:06.260 be true. That's one of the things that I feel 00:41:06.260 --> 00:41:09.900 like I've seen kind of consistently. And then 00:41:09.900 --> 00:41:12.900 obviously just personality is going to have a 00:41:12.900 --> 00:41:14.960 play a part into it, too. Yeah. Oh, for sure. 00:41:15.460 --> 00:41:18.480 Yeah. Cole is a pretty he's a pretty violent 00:41:18.480 --> 00:41:21.960 little boy. He has a lot of energy. So he he 00:41:21.960 --> 00:41:25.340 actually has kicked Cruz already. And so that 00:41:25.340 --> 00:41:28.780 was a That was a disciplinary thing after that, 00:41:29.199 --> 00:41:33.380 but yeah. Oh yeah, you're remembering that moment, 00:41:33.599 --> 00:41:36.659 buddy. How dare you bring that back up. Yeah, 00:41:36.820 --> 00:41:39.139 I feel like, I mean, it's for sure a personality 00:41:39.139 --> 00:41:41.159 thing, but it could, it could totally be a gender 00:41:41.159 --> 00:41:43.460 thing too. Yeah. I mean, I could be, I have no 00:41:43.460 --> 00:41:45.559 like actual evidence on that, but I have just 00:41:45.559 --> 00:41:48.260 wondered if that makes it like, if there is just 00:41:48.260 --> 00:41:51.659 an intuitive thing or. Any other thoughts about 00:41:51.659 --> 00:41:55.750 adjusting to 202? I mean, it's hard. It's also 00:41:55.750 --> 00:41:57.869 been a lot of fun. Is there anything you feel 00:41:57.869 --> 00:42:00.389 like you've learned or like advice that you would 00:42:00.389 --> 00:42:04.230 give someone else? I feel like I'm like, I'm 00:42:04.230 --> 00:42:08.849 so in the thick of it that I feel like I don't, 00:42:08.969 --> 00:42:11.690 maybe don't know what I'm doing yet. And maybe 00:42:11.690 --> 00:42:14.449 that's my advice of like, it's okay to just not 00:42:14.449 --> 00:42:17.530 know what you're doing. And like the reality 00:42:17.530 --> 00:42:20.730 of going from zero to one is like, you really 00:42:20.730 --> 00:42:22.960 don't know what you're doing. I don't know, you're 00:42:22.960 --> 00:42:28.679 like figuring it out. And this one to two aspect 00:42:28.679 --> 00:42:31.579 is like, yeah, I know what I'm doing, but... 00:42:31.579 --> 00:42:33.179 You know what you're doing with an infant, but 00:42:33.179 --> 00:42:34.480 you don't know what you're doing with multiple 00:42:34.480 --> 00:42:37.139 kids. Yeah. And so I feel like a lot of the times 00:42:37.139 --> 00:42:40.440 I'm just like a chicken with its head cut off, 00:42:40.440 --> 00:42:43.239 like running around. I really don't know what 00:42:43.239 --> 00:42:45.119 I'm doing and every day is different and I'm 00:42:45.119 --> 00:42:47.980 like trying different things and trying to see 00:42:47.980 --> 00:42:50.900 what works. And so I think my advice is like... 00:42:50.860 --> 00:42:54.539 it's okay to just try different things and figure 00:42:54.539 --> 00:42:57.519 out what works for you and your family. I don't 00:42:57.519 --> 00:43:01.099 know how much I've also learned. Some of the 00:43:01.099 --> 00:43:02.900 things that we've been trying, or at least I've 00:43:02.900 --> 00:43:06.320 been trying to do, that I think help, but who 00:43:06.320 --> 00:43:10.039 knows, is I try to talk to Zeta the same way 00:43:10.039 --> 00:43:14.280 I talk to Lloyd. all the time I tell Lloyd, like, 00:43:14.519 --> 00:43:17.099 you got to hold on because I'm feeding Zeta or 00:43:17.099 --> 00:43:19.099 I'm changing her diaper or I'm helping Zeta or 00:43:19.099 --> 00:43:21.239 whatever. So I try to say the same things to 00:43:21.239 --> 00:43:24.579 Zeta like, Zeta, I know you're crying. Like, 00:43:24.579 --> 00:43:27.400 I know you need me, but I'm making Lloyd's lunch. 00:43:27.619 --> 00:43:28.880 So like, you got to wait till I'm done making 00:43:28.880 --> 00:43:31.159 Lloyd's lunch or, you know, I'm helping Lloyd 00:43:31.159 --> 00:43:34.219 with this because the reality is there are times 00:43:34.219 --> 00:43:35.780 that she has to wait for things that I'm doing 00:43:35.780 --> 00:43:39.780 for him. Yeah. But if I just ignore her it's 00:43:39.780 --> 00:43:42.059 like in my mind like in my mind if I just ignore 00:43:42.059 --> 00:43:44.800 her she doesn't really She's not she's not sent 00:43:44.800 --> 00:43:47.019 you enough to like compute that I'm not saying 00:43:47.019 --> 00:43:50.000 anything, but he does Yeah, right. So he doesn't 00:43:50.000 --> 00:43:52.300 hear like he just hears that I'm constantly like 00:43:52.300 --> 00:43:53.599 Lloyd you have to wait Lloyd you have to wait. 00:43:53.679 --> 00:43:57.099 So I'm trying to like Make sure that he knows 00:43:57.099 --> 00:43:59.599 that like Zeta also has to wait on you sometimes. 00:43:59.599 --> 00:44:04.820 Yeah, and then the other thing is If like they're 00:44:04.820 --> 00:44:10.250 both crying and everyone's safe. It's just a 00:44:10.250 --> 00:44:12.670 time when everyone's crying. I try to help him 00:44:12.670 --> 00:44:15.630 first, not because he's more important, but because 00:44:15.630 --> 00:44:18.190 I want him to know that he's not being replaced. 00:44:18.809 --> 00:44:21.590 And there are times when it's like, nope, Zeta's 00:44:21.590 --> 00:44:26.050 gotta come first because of whatever it is. But, 00:44:26.329 --> 00:44:28.409 and again, maybe that'll get from different complexes, 00:44:28.429 --> 00:44:30.909 I don't know. No, I think that's really good. 00:44:31.050 --> 00:44:36.559 I think I'm trying to have that mindset. as well 00:44:36.559 --> 00:44:40.960 of like trying to be more aware. Yeah. I guess 00:44:40.960 --> 00:44:45.579 of like, oh, my toddler's comprehending more 00:44:45.579 --> 00:44:49.019 than my newborn right now. And so same thing 00:44:49.019 --> 00:44:51.219 of like trying to help him. Yeah. And I feel 00:44:51.219 --> 00:44:55.059 like they understand so at least like this sounds 00:44:55.059 --> 00:44:57.480 terrible. At least Lloyd does. Like, I mean, 00:44:57.480 --> 00:44:59.320 he just surprises me of how much he understands 00:44:59.320 --> 00:45:03.380 all the time, you know, where because he doesn't 00:45:03.380 --> 00:45:05.949 have a lot of words yet. I kind of don't give 00:45:05.949 --> 00:45:08.030 him credit for that. So I'm trying to remind 00:45:08.030 --> 00:45:11.289 myself, oh no, he understands so many things. 00:45:11.769 --> 00:45:15.769 And so I want him to understand them correctly. 00:45:16.590 --> 00:45:19.909 So I want him to understand them correctly and 00:45:19.909 --> 00:45:22.550 kind of be in control of how he understands things 00:45:22.550 --> 00:45:25.309 in a healthy way. Because I don't want him to 00:45:25.309 --> 00:45:26.909 feel like he's replaced and I want him to feel 00:45:26.909 --> 00:45:30.389 like he's a part of the family still and all 00:45:30.389 --> 00:45:33.010 of that. So that's kind of how I try to treat 00:45:33.010 --> 00:45:35.679 him. That's good. And that's really good advice. 00:45:35.940 --> 00:45:38.880 Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes 00:45:38.880 --> 00:45:42.260 I just I don't do it well. So that's where the 00:45:42.260 --> 00:45:45.159 grace comes in. Yeah. Yeah, we're all figuring 00:45:45.159 --> 00:45:48.699 it out. And it's yeah, it's an adjustment for 00:45:48.699 --> 00:45:52.079 sure. I guess it's been an extremely hard adjustment, 00:45:52.079 --> 00:45:57.760 but also very rewarding. And like we get to see 00:45:57.760 --> 00:46:01.980 the reward of it as they get older. Yeah. And 00:46:01.980 --> 00:46:07.869 like The age gap is no small task, but it's also 00:46:07.869 --> 00:46:11.489 has so much so many benefits to it that we'll 00:46:11.489 --> 00:46:13.730 get to see the fruit of. Yeah. And I think it's 00:46:13.730 --> 00:46:15.769 going to be really special to watch them grow 00:46:15.769 --> 00:46:18.170 up together and be so close in age. Yeah. Even 00:46:18.170 --> 00:46:20.449 though right now it's really tough. Yep. I agree. 00:46:21.230 --> 00:46:22.829 Well, do you want to move to our mom ones of 00:46:22.829 --> 00:46:26.210 the week? I would love to. What is yours? OK, 00:46:26.449 --> 00:46:30.949 mine actually has to do with so last night. I 00:46:30.949 --> 00:46:33.230 mentioned earlier in the podcast, like sleep 00:46:33.230 --> 00:46:37.969 has just been super hard for Colts. Like he's 00:46:37.969 --> 00:46:41.150 been waking up pretty much every single night, 00:46:41.150 --> 00:46:45.150 anywhere from like one to four AM. And in the 00:46:45.150 --> 00:46:48.369 past, like before Cruz was born, we would kind 00:46:48.369 --> 00:46:50.510 of let him try to figure it out on his own in 00:46:50.510 --> 00:46:53.829 his crib. And like he'd go back to sleep and 00:46:53.829 --> 00:46:57.190 sleep till like six 30 usually. But now with 00:46:57.190 --> 00:47:00.389 this adjustment, like we haven't. Really done 00:47:00.389 --> 00:47:04.449 the cry it out thing as much and so like Michael 00:47:04.449 --> 00:47:08.929 will Go in and pick him up out of his crib and 00:47:08.929 --> 00:47:13.090 usually if he picks him up out of his crib You're 00:47:13.090 --> 00:47:15.269 like locked in for the night So like you're either 00:47:15.269 --> 00:47:17.630 rocking him for the rest of the night or like 00:47:17.630 --> 00:47:20.130 Michael would take him into our guest room and 00:47:20.130 --> 00:47:22.030 like they just would sleep in there for the rest 00:47:22.030 --> 00:47:25.389 of the night, but last night it just was like 00:47:25.369 --> 00:47:28.050 so much better sleep for all of us. And we were 00:47:28.050 --> 00:47:31.730 so grateful, but Cruz gave us some good, pretty 00:47:31.730 --> 00:47:35.190 good stretches, um, and slept until like eight 00:47:35.190 --> 00:47:38.230 30 this morning or eight this morning. And then 00:47:38.230 --> 00:47:41.309 Colt was, he was still up at five 45, but Michael 00:47:41.309 --> 00:47:44.590 went in there and then like rocked him and Colt 00:47:44.590 --> 00:47:47.710 went back to sleep until eight 30. And that just 00:47:47.710 --> 00:47:50.269 was like, Michael and I both woke up this morning 00:47:50.269 --> 00:47:53.300 and we were like, well, we feel like Totally 00:47:53.300 --> 00:47:55.980 different people people. Yeah, like a little 00:47:55.980 --> 00:47:58.559 bit extra sleep makes such a big difference Yeah, 00:47:58.639 --> 00:48:01.159 it's and it's not like we like all slept through 00:48:01.159 --> 00:48:04.280 the night or anything like that But like an extra 00:48:04.280 --> 00:48:06.400 hour here and there there have been a couple 00:48:06.400 --> 00:48:10.400 times, especially this time around where Sleep 00:48:10.400 --> 00:48:12.900 didn't go super well, whatever and then I just 00:48:12.900 --> 00:48:15.889 get like a half hour nap and I'm like, oh I'm 00:48:15.889 --> 00:48:18.369 not just gonna cry all day anymore. Cool, like 00:48:18.369 --> 00:48:20.369 I feel like a different person. Yeah, just a 00:48:20.369 --> 00:48:22.289 little bit more sleep can make such a big difference. 00:48:22.349 --> 00:48:24.909 Such a difference. Yeah, I feel like before kids, 00:48:25.030 --> 00:48:27.250 it was like if I didn't get my eight hours of 00:48:27.250 --> 00:48:30.960 sleep, I would be... Just ruined for the day, 00:48:30.960 --> 00:48:33.860 but now I'm like, oh man I got four and a half 00:48:33.860 --> 00:48:36.500 hours of sleep like I slept four hours straight 00:48:36.500 --> 00:48:39.599 Yeah, like I feel like I can take on the world. 00:48:39.840 --> 00:48:43.099 Yep. Yeah What about you? What's your win? Well, 00:48:43.099 --> 00:48:45.320 this is from a couple weeks ago, but it's super 00:48:45.320 --> 00:48:49.119 cute So we had sure it so every meal we all pray 00:48:49.119 --> 00:48:51.219 together and we hold hands over praying you so 00:48:51.219 --> 00:48:53.199 then a couple weeks ago we were at like a church 00:48:53.199 --> 00:48:55.880 barbecue and lawyer Stuart and I were kind of 00:48:55.880 --> 00:48:58.179 just like a little bit frazzled trying to get, 00:48:58.179 --> 00:49:00.059 you know, everyone sitting at the table and like, 00:49:00.599 --> 00:49:02.840 you know, somehow get all three of us plates 00:49:02.840 --> 00:49:05.340 and I'm carrying Zeta and we're trying to make 00:49:05.340 --> 00:49:07.800 sure Lloyd isn't just like wreaking havoc. So 00:49:07.800 --> 00:49:10.380 somehow with only four arms, we're trying to 00:49:10.380 --> 00:49:13.039 do all of this. Then we finally like we sit down 00:49:13.039 --> 00:49:15.619 and Lloyd sitting between us and he just like 00:49:15.619 --> 00:49:17.800 puts his hands out. Like we weren't prepared 00:49:17.800 --> 00:49:20.079 to pray. We were just like getting ready for 00:49:20.079 --> 00:49:22.820 lunch. And he just like puts his hands out like 00:49:22.820 --> 00:49:24.639 he wants to hold them for a prayer. And he like 00:49:24.639 --> 00:49:27.559 looks at both of us like. Obviously, like, like 00:49:27.559 --> 00:49:30.719 we got to pray still. Yeah. And it was just super 00:49:30.719 --> 00:49:33.500 cute that he like he knows that part of our routine 00:49:33.500 --> 00:49:36.579 and he's like conditioned in that sense. Yeah. 00:49:36.659 --> 00:49:39.820 But also it's like, yeah, it's just sweet. He 00:49:39.820 --> 00:49:42.039 like understands it's important. And it was super 00:49:42.039 --> 00:49:44.639 sweet that he remembered and he knows that's 00:49:44.639 --> 00:49:47.440 part of our routine. I love that. It was really 00:49:47.440 --> 00:49:50.400 cute. It's really fun. Super cute. Well, thank 00:49:50.400 --> 00:49:53.719 you for listening to today's episode. We hope 00:49:53.719 --> 00:49:56.780 that it made you feel seen. And if you're also 00:49:56.780 --> 00:50:00.780 adjusting to bring a new baby in that maybe you 00:50:00.780 --> 00:50:03.360 got some laughs and some me too moments there. 00:50:04.179 --> 00:50:06.659 If you have any episode requests, please let 00:50:06.659 --> 00:50:09.619 us know. Thanks for listening. Rate, review, 00:50:09.679 --> 00:50:12.099 subscribe, and we will see you soon. See you 00:50:12.099 --> 00:50:12.639 next time.