WEBVTT 00:00:00.040 --> 00:00:03.940 Join us on Now We Consume. Take in the knowledge. 00:00:04.080 --> 00:00:07.240 Take in the laughs. Indulge in the topics with 00:00:07.240 --> 00:00:10.839 us. The Now We Consume podcast will take you 00:00:10.839 --> 00:00:13.160 through the parts of your day you normally dread. 00:00:13.900 --> 00:00:16.559 Why suffer through the existential crisis of 00:00:16.559 --> 00:00:20.120 life alone when you can do it with us? And now 00:00:20.120 --> 00:00:22.960 we consume. This is not meant to be a conspiracy 00:00:22.960 --> 00:00:25.039 episode or podcast, but we may cover some topics 00:00:25.039 --> 00:00:26.300 that dance that line like a toddler dances on 00:00:26.300 --> 00:00:28.600 their mother's last nerve. This podcast is rated 00:00:28.600 --> 00:00:33.280 I. Welcome to the Now We Consume Podcast, everybody. 00:00:33.420 --> 00:00:36.320 I'm your host, Pip. Tonight here with me is my 00:00:36.320 --> 00:00:42.759 co -host, Gibbles. Hi. Gibbs is taking a night 00:00:42.759 --> 00:00:45.740 off with the woman, so we're going to use the 00:00:45.740 --> 00:00:48.600 effigy of Gibbs and have him with us here in 00:00:48.600 --> 00:00:54.640 spirit. He needs to shave. Oh, yes. He's got 00:00:54.640 --> 00:00:57.920 that Barani Woodsman look going. I know, right? 00:00:58.920 --> 00:01:04.420 So I wanted to kind of go off on a quick tangent 00:01:04.420 --> 00:01:08.299 here. I was having like the most amazing shower 00:01:08.299 --> 00:01:11.219 thought process this morning. It was kind of 00:01:11.219 --> 00:01:14.140 about the zoo hypothesis, you know, how there 00:01:14.140 --> 00:01:16.019 are aliens, but they're just observing us like 00:01:16.019 --> 00:01:20.060 animals at a zoo. Yeah. So this is kind of where 00:01:20.060 --> 00:01:22.260 it gets weird. You ever notice how when you buy 00:01:22.260 --> 00:01:24.959 things like groceries or things like a Best Buy. 00:01:25.519 --> 00:01:29.900 That receipt is like ridiculously long. I always 00:01:29.900 --> 00:01:33.939 compared it to like a CVS receipt. Okay. So you 00:01:33.939 --> 00:01:35.980 know where I'm going with this. So those receipts 00:01:35.980 --> 00:01:38.120 are longer than what you'd think my therapy notes 00:01:38.120 --> 00:01:43.379 would be. So I think that these stores are printing 00:01:43.379 --> 00:01:47.079 out the life stories that we have, and they're 00:01:47.079 --> 00:01:49.079 giving those notes to the aliens as part of their 00:01:49.079 --> 00:01:51.980 research. So I imagine it goes something like 00:01:51.980 --> 00:01:55.439 this human male, still single. Eat cereal for 00:01:55.439 --> 00:02:00.200 dinner. High risk of regret. So that buzzing 00:02:00.200 --> 00:02:02.200 that you hear when you lay down at night, it's 00:02:02.200 --> 00:02:06.019 not your phone. It's the game warden air quotes. 00:02:06.799 --> 00:02:09.280 They're just downloading the spank bank. Oh, 00:02:09.419 --> 00:02:13.099 and when they download my spank bank, whole buddy, 00:02:13.159 --> 00:02:16.819 they're going to be in for a wild ride. So preemptively, 00:02:16.819 --> 00:02:20.919 uh, guys, that horse video, I swear I was just 00:02:20.919 --> 00:02:36.210 curious. You need Jesus. That's a lot coming 00:02:36.210 --> 00:02:41.930 from me. Jesus has left the chat. Yeah. All of 00:02:41.930 --> 00:02:44.169 a sudden the viewership went from like three 00:02:44.169 --> 00:02:51.889 to zero. So anyways, tonight we are going to 00:02:51.889 --> 00:02:55.580 take a wild... ride down the dark side of science 00:02:55.580 --> 00:03:00.219 um kind of wanted to get away from some of the 00:03:00.219 --> 00:03:04.199 doom and gloom of the real world and just kind 00:03:04.199 --> 00:03:08.580 of have a little bit of fun so we're going to 00:03:08.580 --> 00:03:12.819 go painfully deep just how we like it into the 00:03:12.819 --> 00:03:15.479 official u .s government records of the patent 00:03:15.479 --> 00:03:19.139 vault yeah this is where inventors and even the 00:03:19.139 --> 00:03:22.409 military get legal protection for some of the 00:03:22.409 --> 00:03:26.770 wildest and darkest ideas imaginable. Now, with 00:03:26.770 --> 00:03:30.050 all this stuff, we're not talking unfiled mad 00:03:30.050 --> 00:03:32.949 scientist notes because, you know, they get all 00:03:32.949 --> 00:03:35.229 kinds of bullshit submitted to them all the time. 00:03:35.530 --> 00:03:39.030 These are the granted patents that we're going 00:03:39.030 --> 00:03:41.330 to talk about this evening with numbers that 00:03:41.330 --> 00:03:45.469 you can Google right now on patents .google .com. 00:03:45.789 --> 00:03:48.870 And I'm going to post all the numbers that we 00:03:48.870 --> 00:03:51.430 talk about in the show notes. So if you hear 00:03:51.430 --> 00:03:53.550 about one that you like, you can look up the 00:03:53.550 --> 00:03:55.889 number and go and read more in depth about it. 00:03:57.530 --> 00:04:01.069 A lot of these read like they were ripped kind 00:04:01.069 --> 00:04:04.310 of like right out of a conspiracy forum. And 00:04:04.310 --> 00:04:06.229 I mean, we're talking about things like remote 00:04:06.229 --> 00:04:09.310 mind control, voices being beamed right into 00:04:09.310 --> 00:04:13.210 your skull, weather as a weapon, and hidden signals 00:04:13.210 --> 00:04:18.769 in your TV and phone. I've got a list of 15. 00:04:19.610 --> 00:04:21.910 that have been granted over the last 50 years. 00:04:22.709 --> 00:04:25.649 And these are all verified. They've all been 00:04:25.649 --> 00:04:28.389 granted. And these are not just theories. These 00:04:28.389 --> 00:04:32.149 are all proof. They're proven. And they're all 00:04:32.149 --> 00:04:35.569 public record now. Right. I also have a small 00:04:35.569 --> 00:04:38.990 list of honorable mentions at the end of this. 00:04:39.290 --> 00:04:44.129 Some of these are kind of funny. They're kind 00:04:44.129 --> 00:04:45.949 of all over the place. Some of them were like 00:04:45.949 --> 00:04:48.639 really old, but I... I wanted to kind of mention 00:04:48.639 --> 00:04:51.379 them just so you guys could see what kind of 00:04:51.379 --> 00:04:54.300 stuff has been submitted over the years. But 00:04:54.300 --> 00:04:57.560 some of them are out there, including a delivery 00:04:57.560 --> 00:05:01.100 assistive device that was hilarious to read about 00:05:01.100 --> 00:05:05.019 but horrifying in concept. Oh, yeah. Stick around 00:05:05.019 --> 00:05:07.139 for that one. Oh, yeah. It's not just Nintendo 00:05:07.139 --> 00:05:11.079 who's patenting all sorts of craziness. Right. 00:05:14.000 --> 00:05:16.879 This is going to be the list that should not 00:05:16.879 --> 00:05:19.560 exist. And we're going to dive straight into 00:05:19.560 --> 00:05:21.839 this one. We're not going to edge you guys all 00:05:21.839 --> 00:05:25.180 episode like some domi -mami edgelords. We're 00:05:25.180 --> 00:05:26.740 going to spit on it and shove this right into 00:05:26.740 --> 00:05:31.959 your ear balls. So starting us off. Starting 00:05:31.959 --> 00:05:41.839 us off with number one. U .S. Patent. This is 00:05:41.839 --> 00:05:48.870 U .S. 468. 6 6 0 5 a, uh, 1987 is the number 00:05:48.870 --> 00:05:51.430 on this one. This is the Eastland atmospheric 00:05:51.430 --> 00:05:56.769 alteration. Yeah. Otherwise known as harp. If 00:05:56.769 --> 00:05:58.769 you've been around the internet for any amount 00:05:58.769 --> 00:06:03.029 of time, you have heard of harp, uh, Bernard 00:06:03.029 --> 00:06:05.509 Eastland's patent for altering regions of the 00:06:05.509 --> 00:06:08.449 earth's atmosphere, ionosphere and magnetosphere. 00:06:09.389 --> 00:06:12.310 The abstract of the notes says that it uses high 00:06:12.310 --> 00:06:14.970 -power electromagnetic radiation transmitted 00:06:14.970 --> 00:06:18.610 along magnetic field lines to heat and lift parts 00:06:18.610 --> 00:06:22.350 of the atmosphere, move selected regions, propagate 00:06:22.350 --> 00:06:24.850 energy waves, or interfere with communications 00:06:24.850 --> 00:06:28.490 and solar absorption. What, they're trying to 00:06:28.490 --> 00:06:30.750 pull down satellites by using the atmosphere? 00:06:31.529 --> 00:06:33.829 No, they're just taking chunks of the weather 00:06:33.829 --> 00:06:36.670 and moving it to other parts of the world where 00:06:36.670 --> 00:06:40.639 it shouldn't be. So this is where people get 00:06:40.639 --> 00:06:43.819 the conspiracies of, oh, the government is using 00:06:43.819 --> 00:06:47.060 harp to make a hurricane or disintegrate a hurricane 00:06:47.060 --> 00:06:50.779 or cause floods or prevent floods or cause droughts 00:06:50.779 --> 00:06:55.399 or create wildfires. I mean, these are the patents 00:06:55.399 --> 00:06:57.699 that are the basis of a lot of those wild ass 00:06:57.699 --> 00:07:01.360 ideas. Yeah. Too bad it wasn't true, though, 00:07:01.399 --> 00:07:03.500 because if they actually were able to do that, 00:07:03.560 --> 00:07:05.519 I think so. Our enemies would be in trouble. 00:07:06.199 --> 00:07:10.579 You would think, but, uh, Eastland later claimed 00:07:10.579 --> 00:07:15.199 this was the basis for harp in Alaska. Now, whether 00:07:15.199 --> 00:07:18.180 or not it was directly used, the patent explicitly 00:07:18.180 --> 00:07:21.540 describes weather modification capabilities on 00:07:21.540 --> 00:07:24.699 a regional scale. Things like steering the jet 00:07:24.699 --> 00:07:28.240 stream, creating lenses in the sky, and even 00:07:28.240 --> 00:07:32.959 missile defense ideas. So this man literally 00:07:32.959 --> 00:07:38.000 owned. He owned the rights to dial the weather. 00:07:38.240 --> 00:07:41.480 So droughts, storms, blackouts, all from a ground 00:07:41.480 --> 00:07:47.439 antenna array. So yeah, look up this patent because 00:07:47.439 --> 00:07:52.699 it's kind of a head scratcher. If you read this, 00:07:52.720 --> 00:07:54.439 it kind of makes you look at natural disasters 00:07:54.439 --> 00:07:58.120 a little bit differently. Yeah. Because it really 00:07:58.120 --> 00:08:02.019 makes you ask the question, is this real? Like 00:08:02.019 --> 00:08:05.029 to some extent. Because we know the government 00:08:05.029 --> 00:08:08.189 lies. We know that there is technology that they 00:08:08.189 --> 00:08:10.850 will not tell us about. True. We know HAARP is 00:08:10.850 --> 00:08:13.850 a real facility. So when you start kind of connecting 00:08:13.850 --> 00:08:17.310 dots and doing the whole corkboard with the red 00:08:17.310 --> 00:08:21.910 string thing, you can see how things like that 00:08:21.910 --> 00:08:26.949 will come to fruition very easily. So we're going 00:08:26.949 --> 00:08:34.529 to move on. Yes. Number two. U .S. 6506 -148 00:08:34.529 --> 00:08:39.750 -B2. B as in Bravo. This one was granted in 2003. 00:08:40.789 --> 00:08:45.509 This is the Luz Nervous System Manipulation via 00:08:45.509 --> 00:08:50.889 Monitors. This was made by a man named Hendrikus 00:08:50.889 --> 00:08:53.289 Luz. You're going to hear his name again later. 00:08:53.570 --> 00:08:58.590 This dude is a madman. He figured out... that 00:08:58.590 --> 00:09:01.350 pulsing images on a TV or a computer screen, 00:09:01.610 --> 00:09:06.409 even at subliminal levels, emits weak electromagnetic 00:09:06.409 --> 00:09:11.389 fields at frequencies near 1 .5 Hz or 2 .4 Hz. 00:09:12.029 --> 00:09:17.149 Those frequencies excite sensory resonances in 00:09:17.149 --> 00:09:20.370 nearby people, causing effects like relaxation, 00:09:21.149 --> 00:09:25.230 eyelid droop, slowed thinking, or other involuntary 00:09:25.230 --> 00:09:28.600 nervous system responses. It can be embedded 00:09:28.600 --> 00:09:30.879 in normal programming or it can be made to run 00:09:30.879 --> 00:09:33.480 via simple software. You mean like seizures? 00:09:34.820 --> 00:09:38.399 Kinda, yeah. The patent says it is therefore 00:09:38.399 --> 00:09:41.179 possible to manipulate the nervous system of 00:09:41.179 --> 00:09:44.559 a subject by pulsing images displayed on a nearby 00:09:44.559 --> 00:09:48.580 computer monitor or TV set. So you could literally 00:09:48.580 --> 00:09:50.980 just be sitting there watching Netflix and your 00:09:50.980 --> 00:09:54.700 body is literally being quietly tuned without 00:09:54.700 --> 00:09:58.379 you knowing. Well, if they're tuning me, can 00:09:58.379 --> 00:10:00.799 they at least shut off a few pounds? That'd be 00:10:00.799 --> 00:10:06.620 nice. Right. You want to take number three? Yeah. 00:10:06.899 --> 00:10:16.860 The U .S. Patent 5159703A from 1992. Let's see 00:10:16.860 --> 00:10:20.419 if I can be more monotonous. The Lowry Silent 00:10:20.419 --> 00:10:25.500 Subliminal Presentation System. Kill John Lennon. 00:10:25.559 --> 00:10:31.980 Kill John Lennon. Oliver Lowry's system uses 00:10:31.980 --> 00:10:35.440 inaudible carriers in very low, very high, or 00:10:35.440 --> 00:10:38.580 ultrasonic range. These carriers are modulated 00:10:38.580 --> 00:10:41.799 with messages or sounds and sent through ordinary 00:10:41.799 --> 00:10:45.419 speakers and transducers. Your ear doesn't hear 00:10:45.419 --> 00:10:50.200 them, but your brain does. It can be stored on 00:10:50.200 --> 00:10:52.779 media or transmitted live, just like the last 00:10:52.779 --> 00:10:56.340 one. Perfect for slipping affirmations, commands, 00:10:56.580 --> 00:10:59.360 or ads into any audio source without a foreground 00:10:59.360 --> 00:11:04.159 sound masking it. Ooh, silent programming through 00:11:04.159 --> 00:11:07.500 your TV speakers or phone. How do you know what's 00:11:07.500 --> 00:11:09.539 really being said to your subconscious right 00:11:09.539 --> 00:11:12.799 now? Remember the movie, Leave the World Behind. 00:11:13.220 --> 00:11:17.320 I added this part in because... There was a lot 00:11:17.320 --> 00:11:20.500 of conspiracy bullshit during COVID specifically 00:11:20.500 --> 00:11:24.840 around this movie. So go ahead and read this. 00:11:25.000 --> 00:11:28.159 Yeah. Lots of people claim feeling uneasy watching 00:11:28.159 --> 00:11:31.779 that and couldn't explain why. Could have just 00:11:31.779 --> 00:11:35.779 been a bad movie or other people claim there 00:11:35.779 --> 00:11:38.480 was a hidden audio track on the DVD. And it was 00:11:38.480 --> 00:11:41.120 noise that when played made some people feel 00:11:41.120 --> 00:11:44.159 very uneasy or disoriented. Who the hell's got 00:11:44.159 --> 00:11:47.940 DVDs being played these days? Well, that's the 00:11:47.940 --> 00:11:50.960 thing. They counted supposedly on the fact that 00:11:50.960 --> 00:11:53.940 there was such a low number of DVDs being sold. 00:11:54.019 --> 00:11:57.320 The likelihood of that second track being discovered 00:11:57.320 --> 00:12:00.570 was extremely low. And it could just be debunked 00:12:00.570 --> 00:12:05.629 as conspiracy theories. It could. But the noise 00:12:05.629 --> 00:12:10.049 was picked up in audio software. Yeah. And it 00:12:10.049 --> 00:12:12.769 was a very, once they processed it, it was a 00:12:12.769 --> 00:12:17.669 very low kind of like, almost like the brown 00:12:17.669 --> 00:12:21.210 noise on South Park. Yeah. That's kind of what 00:12:21.210 --> 00:12:26.529 I like in it. But yeah, it was just a, like a 00:12:26.529 --> 00:12:29.950 hum. It was at a, at a frequency that could not 00:12:29.950 --> 00:12:33.090 be normally heard. And it, it was there. I mean, 00:12:33.110 --> 00:12:36.629 I, I saw the video being played and I, I remember 00:12:36.629 --> 00:12:39.470 watching all this stuff, but I I'm with you. 00:12:39.570 --> 00:12:42.830 It was just a bad movie. So it made me feel uneasy 00:12:42.830 --> 00:12:44.470 because I was like, I mean, that noise could 00:12:44.470 --> 00:12:46.269 be the, you know, well, the noise could have 00:12:46.269 --> 00:12:49.470 been the equivalent of looking at a, uh, old 00:12:49.470 --> 00:12:52.309 AI photo where it was making a human face when 00:12:52.309 --> 00:12:54.570 it wasn't really good at it. So you'd get that. 00:12:55.149 --> 00:12:58.350 Oh, what the hell did they call it? We're uncanny 00:12:58.350 --> 00:13:01.529 Valley. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So you get 00:13:01.529 --> 00:13:03.629 that uncanny Valley effect with the pictures. 00:13:03.730 --> 00:13:06.669 So, you know, it's possible that subliminally 00:13:06.669 --> 00:13:09.070 you were getting that with the audio, right? 00:13:09.769 --> 00:13:15.110 You know, that uneasiness and stuff. Do you want 00:13:15.110 --> 00:13:16.490 to take number four? You want me to take it? 00:13:17.570 --> 00:13:21.090 I'll take it. Then they can pay me for it. So 00:13:21.090 --> 00:13:29.159 take it. Yeah. Yeah. So, Oh, the movie was Leave 00:13:29.159 --> 00:13:33.620 the World Behind. Yes? Yes. Yes. Watch it at 00:13:33.620 --> 00:13:37.440 your own risk. All right. So the next one for 00:13:37.440 --> 00:13:43.620 you is Patton 3951124A. It's from 1976. And it's 00:13:43.620 --> 00:13:47.000 the Malek Remote Brain Wave Monitoring and Alteration. 00:13:47.059 --> 00:13:53.240 Get your frickin' aluminum hats ready. So Robert 00:13:53.240 --> 00:13:57.690 Malek. Again, device transmits two electromagnetic 00:13:57.690 --> 00:14:01.149 signals of different frequencies that interfere 00:14:01.149 --> 00:14:05.549 inside the target's brain. The brain modulates... 00:14:05.549 --> 00:14:08.929 Yeah, I have enough problems up here from hitting 00:14:08.929 --> 00:14:14.029 my head so much. I don't need help. The brain 00:14:14.029 --> 00:14:16.149 modulates the interference wave with its own 00:14:16.149 --> 00:14:21.480 electrical activity, then re... Reradiates it. 00:14:22.200 --> 00:14:25.259 Reradiates it. Oh, okay. Because our skulls are 00:14:25.259 --> 00:14:29.700 like perfect antennas. I can't remember the right 00:14:29.700 --> 00:14:32.519 kind of antenna, but our skull is like a perfect 00:14:32.519 --> 00:14:34.600 antenna. Well, yeah, because you've got liquid 00:14:34.600 --> 00:14:38.159 inside your brain. So you can do that with a, 00:14:38.179 --> 00:14:41.460 if you take your car fob and you're far enough 00:14:41.460 --> 00:14:43.740 away and it doesn't detect anymore, just stick 00:14:43.740 --> 00:14:45.779 it on again, right on your chin or next to your 00:14:45.779 --> 00:14:49.289 head or something. And it'll increase the. The 00:14:49.289 --> 00:14:52.370 sound waves enough that the car will then hear 00:14:52.370 --> 00:15:00.129 it. Ask me how I know this. Right? Ask me how 00:15:00.129 --> 00:15:03.250 I know this. See me in a parking lot subtangle 00:15:03.250 --> 00:15:08.110 like this. It's not because I'm suicidal. Oh 00:15:08.110 --> 00:15:13.929 no, it's coming right for us. All components 00:15:13.929 --> 00:15:20.090 stay remote. No implants, no contact. So this 00:15:20.090 --> 00:15:22.970 is a real -time thought monitoring and editing 00:15:22.970 --> 00:15:26.690 from afar. I feel like this one is like the ultimate 00:15:26.690 --> 00:15:33.029 privacy violation. Oh, yeah. Reading your mind. 00:15:33.149 --> 00:15:35.830 This is literally reading your mind. And the 00:15:35.830 --> 00:15:40.309 fact that this was being done in 1976, add 40 00:15:40.309 --> 00:15:44.029 years of tech advancement to that. Yeah. 50 years, 00:15:44.110 --> 00:15:47.610 rather, at this point. And we can now have AI. 00:15:48.699 --> 00:15:51.279 finding out what you're thinking in real time. 00:15:52.039 --> 00:15:55.100 Yeah. That's not a good thing. We've, we've talked 00:15:55.100 --> 00:15:58.019 about the, the brain scans that AI can interpret 00:15:58.019 --> 00:16:02.379 like your dreams, apply it to this tech and holy 00:16:02.379 --> 00:16:07.120 shit. Yeah. Yeah. No, that wouldn't be a good 00:16:07.120 --> 00:16:12.100 case thing in my case. No, it'd be bad. I don't 00:16:12.100 --> 00:16:15.080 need to give the VA any more ammunition to take 00:16:15.080 --> 00:16:21.500 me away. Right. Wear the tight white jacket in 00:16:21.500 --> 00:16:23.759 the comfy room. Oh, yeah. I'll be sitting at 00:16:23.759 --> 00:16:24.879 home and all of a sudden I'll be knocking on 00:16:24.879 --> 00:16:27.500 the door. Okay, Mr. Gables, we need you to come 00:16:27.500 --> 00:16:32.000 with us. Why? We know what you're thinking about. 00:16:32.679 --> 00:16:34.460 Just don't put anything on my butt again this 00:16:34.460 --> 00:16:40.200 time. Oh, no. All right. So number five is a 00:16:40.200 --> 00:16:47.909 dual patent. It's US -647 -021. four Bravo one 00:16:47.909 --> 00:16:54.029 and us six, five, eight, seven, seven, two, nine 00:16:54.029 --> 00:16:57.490 Bravo two. And respectively, those were in 2002 00:16:57.490 --> 00:17:02.470 and 2003. This is for the air force radio frequency 00:17:02.470 --> 00:17:08.069 hearing effect. V two K. Uh, I feel like this 00:17:08.069 --> 00:17:10.250 is probably something related to that Havana 00:17:10.250 --> 00:17:14.039 syndrome, those ultrasonic weapons. Um, well, 00:17:14.180 --> 00:17:16.880 those lines. Well, it also reminds me of the, 00:17:16.960 --> 00:17:20.259 uh, that offensive speaker system. That's like 00:17:20.259 --> 00:17:23.180 a flat panel and you don't hear it until you're 00:17:23.180 --> 00:17:25.200 directly in front of it. And wherever you pointed 00:17:25.200 --> 00:17:29.460 at, it's loud and it's so obnoxious. People just 00:17:29.460 --> 00:17:32.799 want to get away from it. Yeah. So this was patented 00:17:32.799 --> 00:17:35.859 by the U S air force. It's pulsed microwave or 00:17:35.859 --> 00:17:38.940 RF beams, and they're modulated with speech. 00:17:39.180 --> 00:17:42.529 So when they hit a person's head, The thermoelastic 00:17:42.529 --> 00:17:45.970 expansion in brain tissue creates audible sound, 00:17:46.029 --> 00:17:49.970 either voices or words, directly inside their 00:17:49.970 --> 00:17:55.029 skull. No external speaker is needed. The later 00:17:55.029 --> 00:17:58.750 patent, so the second one, details pre -processing 00:17:58.750 --> 00:18:01.910 the speech signal and amplitude modulation so 00:18:01.910 --> 00:18:05.809 the target hears clear, intelligible audio that 00:18:05.809 --> 00:18:10.569 others around them cannot. So, like, voice to 00:18:10.569 --> 00:18:13.490 skull tech. If someone started hearing commanding 00:18:13.490 --> 00:18:16.049 voices with no source, would you believe them? 00:18:16.390 --> 00:18:18.829 Or do you just think they're nuts or insane? 00:18:20.009 --> 00:18:24.009 These days? Maybe a little bit of both. Right? 00:18:25.390 --> 00:18:30.289 But, like, this is one of those ones where spy 00:18:30.289 --> 00:18:33.670 tech, like the espionage community, this would 00:18:33.670 --> 00:18:38.579 be, like, the ultimate, like, mindfuck. Just 00:18:38.579 --> 00:18:40.440 don't give this stuff to cats. Cause all you're 00:18:40.440 --> 00:18:42.940 going to hear is give me fish. Give me fish. 00:18:43.859 --> 00:18:48.799 Meow. Oh God. My, my youngest got me with like 00:18:48.799 --> 00:18:51.960 the best joke today. Yeah. This, this is just 00:18:51.960 --> 00:18:56.359 oddly relevant. What do you call a, a large pile 00:18:56.359 --> 00:19:03.019 of cats? A clowder? No, a mountain. Oh my God. 00:19:03.440 --> 00:19:08.220 Yeah. Yeah. That was about my reaction too. wow 00:19:08.220 --> 00:19:11.799 yeah such a dad jerk gotta be proud it really 00:19:11.799 --> 00:19:15.380 was i was i really was and and he's he's almost 00:19:15.380 --> 00:19:22.779 12 it's like this this child is so mine man yeah 00:19:22.779 --> 00:19:28.339 um you want to take number six and then i'll 00:19:28.339 --> 00:19:31.400 do the big one there on the the next one because 00:19:31.400 --> 00:19:36.039 it's kind of a clusterfuck Oh, okay. How the 00:19:36.039 --> 00:19:38.720 heck do I even pronounce that word? I was looking 00:19:38.720 --> 00:19:40.900 at it earlier this week, and I'm like, yeah, 00:19:40.940 --> 00:19:46.119 I don't know. The Marderosian? Close enough, 00:19:46.299 --> 00:19:49.220 yes. Yeah, brainwave analysis and remote communication. 00:19:50.359 --> 00:19:53.619 This system fingerprints unique brainwave signatures 00:19:53.619 --> 00:19:57.299 via remote RFIR or satellite sensors. Oh, and 00:19:57.299 --> 00:20:03.410 this is patent 6011991A from 2000. It's able 00:20:03.410 --> 00:20:05.950 to identify individuals, monitor specific thoughts 00:20:05.950 --> 00:20:09.670 or phrases, and enable two -way communication. 00:20:09.670 --> 00:20:13.210 All without implants, your brain becomes a trackable 00:20:13.210 --> 00:20:18.869 node. So basically satellite mind reading, which 00:20:18.869 --> 00:20:22.650 means Big Brother is now in the biological realm. 00:20:23.349 --> 00:20:29.710 There, that's... Now... Yeah, I don't even want 00:20:29.710 --> 00:20:33.869 to say anything to that, to accidentally if somebody 00:20:33.869 --> 00:20:36.509 that does stuff like this would get an idea. 00:20:37.470 --> 00:20:41.470 Well, so this, I think, was originally where 00:20:41.470 --> 00:20:44.670 some of those teams that were using Wi -Fi as 00:20:44.670 --> 00:20:49.230 sonar. I think this kind of came from that. Yeah. 00:20:49.529 --> 00:20:53.609 Like I said, my imagination is such I would be 00:20:53.609 --> 00:20:56.349 giving ideas and I don't want to do that. Right. 00:20:57.740 --> 00:21:03.799 All right, so numbers 7 through 10. This is the 00:21:03.799 --> 00:21:06.259 Luz cluster. I said that you would hear that 00:21:06.259 --> 00:21:12.759 Luz name again. Right. So patents US 601 -7302A, 00:21:12.880 --> 00:21:26.339 623 -8333 -BRAVO1, 461 -6261A, and 609 -1994A. 00:21:27.109 --> 00:21:32.089 These all had to be grouped together. Oh. Hendrickus 00:21:32.089 --> 00:21:37.730 lose. Can we just take a second? Who in the absolute 00:21:37.730 --> 00:21:43.329 fuck would name their child Hendrickus? What 00:21:43.329 --> 00:21:45.829 kind of a name is that that you hate your child 00:21:45.829 --> 00:21:50.049 so much? Same person that names their kid Apple. 00:21:51.410 --> 00:21:54.150 You know that child got bullied all through school. 00:21:55.190 --> 00:21:59.359 Yeah. I mean, no wonder they turned into a mad 00:21:59.359 --> 00:22:03.619 scientist. I don't blame the guy one bit. He's 00:22:03.619 --> 00:22:09.299 angry at the world. Obviously. Not only is your 00:22:09.299 --> 00:22:12.380 last name loose, but then your hand trick is 00:22:12.380 --> 00:22:17.799 loose. So you're just loose. So he built a full 00:22:17.799 --> 00:22:23.660 remote control toolkit. Subliminal acoustic manipulation. 00:22:24.650 --> 00:22:27.710 via low frequency sounds that you cannot hear. 00:22:28.089 --> 00:22:32.089 Okay. Remote magnetic fields from a portable 00:22:32.089 --> 00:22:36.130 device to tweak nerves from up to hundreds of 00:22:36.130 --> 00:22:40.529 meters away. This one's my favorite one out of 00:22:40.529 --> 00:22:46.170 this one. Subliminal visuals overlaid on TV broadcasts. 00:22:46.170 --> 00:22:49.329 Oh, Fight Club. Absolutely Fight Club. Uh -huh. 00:22:49.650 --> 00:22:52.710 The snippet of porn laid into a kid's movie. 00:22:52.930 --> 00:22:56.579 Yep. And there was a tie into his previous one 00:22:56.579 --> 00:23:00.460 with the pulsative manipulation using tiny pulses 00:23:00.460 --> 00:23:04.380 of cooling or warming air on the skin, kind of 00:23:04.380 --> 00:23:08.140 like a sneaky fan or a wire at those same half 00:23:08.140 --> 00:23:10.599 Hertz or 2 .4 Hertz frequencies that we mentioned 00:23:10.599 --> 00:23:15.599 earlier. So that causes relaxation, sleepiness, 00:23:15.680 --> 00:23:19.359 stomach knots, or even sexual excitement. So 00:23:19.359 --> 00:23:23.319 this one guy was able to patent multiple ways, 00:23:23.880 --> 00:23:26.700 to hack the human nervous system without our 00:23:26.700 --> 00:23:32.059 consent. Right. So totally screw on someone over 00:23:32.059 --> 00:23:34.099 with that last part of the sexual assignment. 00:23:34.500 --> 00:23:39.380 Dude, this whole cluster of patents is like the 00:23:39.380 --> 00:23:45.140 tech equivalent of MK ultra. Yeah. Like we have 00:23:45.140 --> 00:23:49.200 the MK ultra program was all chemical and, and 00:23:49.200 --> 00:23:51.759 like torture and shit. This is like the pure 00:23:51.759 --> 00:23:57.259 tech side. Right. Which I think I like even more 00:23:57.259 --> 00:24:04.460 because you can do it like in mass. Yeah. Everybody 00:24:04.460 --> 00:24:09.519 just goes to sleep. Uh -huh. It's like that DC 00:24:09.519 --> 00:24:11.359 movie. I can't remember the name of it, but the 00:24:11.359 --> 00:24:13.859 guy kind of flexes off and everybody around him 00:24:13.859 --> 00:24:17.500 starts having an orgasm. Oh, yeah. I remember 00:24:17.500 --> 00:24:20.279 that. Doom Patrol. That's what it is. Yeah. Doom 00:24:20.279 --> 00:24:28.480 Patrol. That was so weird. So that's almost as 00:24:28.480 --> 00:24:32.619 bad as second season of Peacemaker. I never watched 00:24:32.619 --> 00:24:35.000 it. I couldn't bring myself to watch. I think 00:24:35.000 --> 00:24:37.079 it was either first or second episode of the 00:24:37.079 --> 00:24:39.480 second season where there was just an orgy in 00:24:39.480 --> 00:24:43.539 his house. Awesome. Yeah. Although the boys, 00:24:43.619 --> 00:24:47.680 the season that opened up with the. The party 00:24:47.680 --> 00:24:49.839 where the guy was just walking down to the guys. 00:24:49.900 --> 00:24:57.519 Yeah, no. No, no. Yeah. I don't want to think 00:24:57.519 --> 00:25:01.240 about that one anymore. That was bad. It was. 00:25:01.420 --> 00:25:06.000 And then he spontaneously just sneezed and dude's 00:25:06.000 --> 00:25:18.000 dead. What a way to go. Yeah. No, no way. There's 00:25:18.000 --> 00:25:21.039 not enough ways to say no to that one. Even flippers 00:25:21.039 --> 00:25:28.619 going. No. All right. You got number 11. Give 00:25:28.619 --> 00:25:31.680 me a second. I got to recalibrate myself from 00:25:31.680 --> 00:25:35.559 that. Oh, God. Well, we'll pause for a second. 00:25:38.180 --> 00:25:47.829 God. All right. Damn. So, U .S. Patent 5123899A 00:25:47.829 --> 00:25:51.670 from 1992, the gall -altering consciousness. 00:25:52.789 --> 00:25:56.430 It's a specific frequency waveforms applied remotely 00:25:56.430 --> 00:26:00.150 to shift mood, emotion, sleep, or full consciousness 00:26:00.150 --> 00:26:03.930 levels. Dial in calm, fear, or suggestibility 00:26:03.930 --> 00:26:06.410 on demand. That's kind of like the loose cluster. 00:26:06.990 --> 00:26:11.660 Sort of, yeah. My question is this. We've been 00:26:11.660 --> 00:26:14.420 reading down this list, and I kind of want to 00:26:14.420 --> 00:26:16.440 hit the brakes because we're burning through 00:26:16.440 --> 00:26:17.839 this a little bit quicker than I thought we would. 00:26:19.400 --> 00:26:25.039 Do you feel like the government or agencies of 00:26:25.039 --> 00:26:28.039 the government are actively using any of this 00:26:28.039 --> 00:26:33.259 tech in everyday societal life to any extent? 00:26:35.160 --> 00:26:38.099 Just reading about some of these, I don't know. 00:26:38.779 --> 00:26:42.019 I can't, I don't know if I could be able to give 00:26:42.019 --> 00:26:46.480 a very good answer to that. Well, here's what 00:26:46.480 --> 00:26:48.619 I'm willing to go with. I can't say that they 00:26:48.619 --> 00:26:51.240 are, but I think what freaks me out more is that 00:26:51.240 --> 00:26:55.099 I can't say that. No, they're not. Yeah. Now, 00:26:55.279 --> 00:26:59.400 I mean, from my time in DC with the police department, 00:26:59.700 --> 00:27:05.200 I mean, I know what drugs can do to multi -generational 00:27:05.200 --> 00:27:08.500 families, you know, starting with. Generation 00:27:08.500 --> 00:27:11.759 1 were with the crack epidemic and everything. 00:27:12.000 --> 00:27:15.380 And everything that came down after that genetically, 00:27:15.720 --> 00:27:19.180 there are serious mental health and physical 00:27:19.180 --> 00:27:25.759 problems. So if these are legitimate, my next 00:27:25.759 --> 00:27:28.539 question is going to be, okay, if this is true 00:27:28.539 --> 00:27:31.380 and real, what are going to be the side effects? 00:27:31.480 --> 00:27:37.289 And would that start affecting? the younger population 00:27:37.289 --> 00:27:40.410 and the next generations? Are we going to have 00:27:40.410 --> 00:27:43.750 a whole group of people that are just psychotic 00:27:43.750 --> 00:27:46.109 and out of their minds or they can't function 00:27:46.109 --> 00:27:49.410 properly in society because they've been wired 00:27:49.410 --> 00:27:52.769 in such a way that unless the brain has that 00:27:52.769 --> 00:27:58.690 fix from the mental conditioning for an addiction, 00:27:58.829 --> 00:28:04.480 possibly, if that causes that effect. what you 00:28:04.480 --> 00:28:07.279 know what would be the repercussions if that's 00:28:07.279 --> 00:28:11.440 taking place yeah it's like i said it's it's 00:28:11.440 --> 00:28:15.319 more so that it's harder to say no than it is 00:28:15.319 --> 00:28:28.220 to say yes so so the next one uh us 439 5600 00:28:28.220 --> 00:28:34.990 a from 1983 yeah the Lundy and Tyler emotional 00:28:34.990 --> 00:28:41.549 manipulation via audio directed audio waves that 00:28:41.549 --> 00:28:45.710 subliminally hijack subjective emotions. This 00:28:45.710 --> 00:28:49.529 is used to induce compliance, panic, or whatever 00:28:49.529 --> 00:28:54.970 the operator wants. Hmm. I feel like that could 00:28:54.970 --> 00:28:58.329 be easily used in prisons or other torture type 00:28:58.329 --> 00:29:06.970 settings. Right. Uh, or other like, Mass panic, 00:29:07.450 --> 00:29:13.549 mass... Psychosis? Mass casualty is the word. 00:29:13.829 --> 00:29:17.150 Mass casualty type events. Run everybody off 00:29:17.150 --> 00:29:21.609 a cliff. Or just send everybody into a panic 00:29:21.609 --> 00:29:25.190 inside of a small building. I'd do it too. That 00:29:25.190 --> 00:29:28.170 kind of a deal. I'm trying to remember the name 00:29:28.170 --> 00:29:30.170 of this monster movie I saw where they were all 00:29:30.170 --> 00:29:33.549 in a museum. They freak out, and the front doors 00:29:33.549 --> 00:29:36.470 were locked for some reason, and people got squished 00:29:36.470 --> 00:29:39.890 against the glass and flattened. It was brutal. 00:29:40.529 --> 00:29:42.650 I think I know what movie you're talking about. 00:29:42.670 --> 00:29:46.970 I just can't think of the name. Right. I can't 00:29:46.970 --> 00:29:49.349 remember, but yeah, it was a crazy monster flick. 00:29:49.710 --> 00:29:51.789 And it's just that scene that really stuck out 00:29:51.789 --> 00:29:54.549 to me when that blonde chick is smashed up against 00:29:54.549 --> 00:29:57.410 the glass like a mime, except she's slowly getting 00:29:57.410 --> 00:30:01.589 squeezed by the human bodies behind her. Yep. 00:30:01.589 --> 00:30:04.609 I, I know which I, I can see the scene. I just 00:30:04.609 --> 00:30:09.809 can't think of the movie. Yeah. Um, do you want 00:30:09.809 --> 00:30:14.690 13 or do you want 14? Uh, Ooh, I'll take the 00:30:14.690 --> 00:30:19.970 Raytheon pain, Ray. Okay. Yeah. US patent seven, 00:30:20.069 --> 00:30:22.630 seven, eight, four, three, nine, zero B one. 00:30:23.029 --> 00:30:27.210 This is from 2010. It's a solid state millimeter 00:30:27.210 --> 00:30:31.000 wave beam. That causes intense burning pain on 00:30:31.000 --> 00:30:33.940 the skin from a distance. Mountable on vehicles 00:30:33.940 --> 00:30:36.400 or drones for crowd control. Non -lethal, but 00:30:36.400 --> 00:30:40.119 it hurts like hell. Again, that speaker system 00:30:40.119 --> 00:30:43.539 I was talking about earlier, that sounds along 00:30:43.539 --> 00:30:48.039 those lines. Yeah, so this one has actually been 00:30:48.039 --> 00:30:53.339 deployed several times in multiple theaters, 00:30:53.500 --> 00:30:56.180 essentially. They've used this for riot control. 00:30:56.359 --> 00:31:00.549 They've used this for... combat situations. This 00:31:00.549 --> 00:31:03.730 thing has seen use. So this one we can confirm 00:31:03.730 --> 00:31:12.789 is real. Yes. The funny parts are that there 00:31:12.789 --> 00:31:14.809 was one incident where they had it turned up 00:31:14.809 --> 00:31:17.569 a little too high and the people that were closer 00:31:17.569 --> 00:31:20.170 actually suffered like second and third degree 00:31:20.170 --> 00:31:26.730 burns under the skin. So that's really kind of 00:31:26.730 --> 00:31:29.799 bad. Yeah, they were exciting some of the molecules 00:31:29.799 --> 00:31:35.420 in their subdermis a little too much. Yeah. I 00:31:35.420 --> 00:31:37.700 know when my molecules get excited, I like for 00:31:37.700 --> 00:31:41.299 them to be subdermally excited too. Right. We're 00:31:41.299 --> 00:31:45.160 all about getting our molecules excited. All 00:31:45.160 --> 00:31:51.400 right. I see why you gave me the next one. This 00:31:51.400 --> 00:31:58.309 one's going to be US 950441. Nine Bravo 2, a 00:31:58.309 --> 00:32:04.329 sensor -equipped male chastity device. Yes. A 00:32:04.329 --> 00:32:08.309 locked genital cage with embedded sensors that 00:32:08.309 --> 00:32:12.890 detect arousal, tampering, or prohibited behavior 00:32:12.890 --> 00:32:17.390 and trigger alarms or restriction. Modern tech 00:32:17.390 --> 00:32:20.569 turning sexual control into a monitored prison. 00:32:21.930 --> 00:32:25.549 Oh, my God. This sounds like some Roman Catholic 00:32:25.549 --> 00:32:29.930 crap. Right? You're touching yourself is bad. 00:32:30.069 --> 00:32:32.789 A baby kitten dies every time you get excited. 00:32:35.109 --> 00:32:38.849 Oh, can you imagine having something like that 00:32:38.849 --> 00:32:42.769 locked on your junk? Oh, okay. So. No, thank 00:32:42.769 --> 00:32:47.279 you. you you you throw that onto somebody and 00:32:47.279 --> 00:32:50.980 then you give them a a cocktail of uh like liquid 00:32:50.980 --> 00:32:54.680 viagra and then you just throw on like the the 00:32:54.680 --> 00:32:59.799 most obnoxious porn that you can find oh oh my 00:32:59.799 --> 00:33:02.519 god i don't know why but this totally reminds 00:33:02.519 --> 00:33:05.819 me of a story from over in the middle east so 00:33:05.819 --> 00:33:08.940 i was in kuwait with a bunch of other guys at 00:33:08.940 --> 00:33:13.039 airbase that's no longer there um We had tents, 00:33:13.220 --> 00:33:15.319 and each tent had a television in it that was 00:33:15.319 --> 00:33:19.920 donated by the Kuwaiti government. So every night, 00:33:20.140 --> 00:33:23.259 you know, late night, for whatever reason, they 00:33:23.259 --> 00:33:27.119 had adult entertainment on the television. We 00:33:27.119 --> 00:33:30.559 had this one airman. I won't say his name, but 00:33:30.559 --> 00:33:35.160 he brought action figures and little kid toys 00:33:35.160 --> 00:33:38.720 and stuff. He was a big kid, but he was a dork. 00:33:39.059 --> 00:33:43.549 Very socially awkward. Some guys went into his 00:33:43.549 --> 00:33:45.650 tent while he was sitting there watching something, 00:33:45.789 --> 00:33:48.890 playing with his Star Trek toys, tied him to 00:33:48.890 --> 00:33:52.009 a chair, duct taped his eyes open, and played 00:33:52.009 --> 00:33:55.930 porn and walked away. He was found by the first 00:33:55.930 --> 00:33:59.269 sergeant struggling, trying to get out of his 00:33:59.269 --> 00:34:03.470 binds. So we weren't yelled at for tying him 00:34:03.470 --> 00:34:05.690 up. We were yelled at because he couldn't take 00:34:05.690 --> 00:34:07.970 care of himself while watching the adult film. 00:34:10.079 --> 00:34:14.760 So yeah, that happened. So your, your dude went 00:34:14.760 --> 00:34:18.559 or got clockwork orange on base. Yes. Oh yes. 00:34:19.340 --> 00:34:24.760 Okay. Using adult entertainment. My experience 00:34:24.760 --> 00:34:27.880 is on the ship. We had a guy who pissed somebody 00:34:27.880 --> 00:34:31.860 else off so bad. He not only got duct taped inside 00:34:31.860 --> 00:34:36.159 his rack after it got lifted up. He then like 00:34:36.159 --> 00:34:39.800 a week later. got duct taped to the wall in the 00:34:39.800 --> 00:34:44.780 workshop, and then we all went to lunch. Wow. 00:34:45.800 --> 00:34:49.840 Yeah. That's the equivalent of us in the third 00:34:49.840 --> 00:34:52.699 district burning a sergeant's desk to the ground 00:34:52.699 --> 00:34:55.980 and locking the door to his office while it burned. 00:34:56.679 --> 00:35:03.940 Right. So, yeah, that was pretty fun. Jesus Christ. 00:35:04.460 --> 00:35:09.539 Love it. Yep. The military shenanigry. Yeah. 00:35:09.639 --> 00:35:12.380 We're going to have to do just a random shooting 00:35:12.380 --> 00:35:14.920 the shit type episode where we talk about some 00:35:14.920 --> 00:35:18.119 of our fucked up war stories one night. Yeah. 00:35:19.139 --> 00:35:22.739 So. All right. You want number 15 or you want 00:35:22.739 --> 00:35:28.380 me to do it? I'll do it. It's Raytheon. 749 -0538 00:35:28.380 --> 00:35:33.159 -B2. This is from 2009. Oh, I got out not that 00:35:33.159 --> 00:35:36.500 long ago after that. Um, that's the dual mode 00:35:36.500 --> 00:35:38.960 directed energy weapon, a rifle that switches 00:35:38.960 --> 00:35:43.059 instantly between bullets and microwave pain. 00:35:44.119 --> 00:35:48.260 One trigger instant escalation from worn to destroy. 00:35:48.519 --> 00:35:52.019 Oh, I could see that going badly. Uh huh. Like 00:35:52.019 --> 00:35:55.480 that female cop that, uh, thought she was deploying 00:35:55.480 --> 00:35:58.360 a taser and she shot the dude to death. Uh huh. 00:35:58.840 --> 00:36:02.199 Yeah. Yeah. Go to give that warning to that, 00:36:02.280 --> 00:36:04.980 you know, the guy in the car driving up asking 00:36:04.980 --> 00:36:07.320 for directions and you pop him in the head accidentally. 00:36:07.440 --> 00:36:10.639 Yeah. Yeah. You're going to live with that one 00:36:10.639 --> 00:36:15.460 forever. Oh, yeah. Yeah. The Raytheon stuff is 00:36:15.460 --> 00:36:19.380 pretty awesome, but the way it's designed leaves 00:36:19.380 --> 00:36:25.159 a little bit of design question. Yeah. Like. 00:36:25.710 --> 00:36:28.949 Do we have it like, you know, like an M 16 going 00:36:28.949 --> 00:36:31.690 from semi -auto to full auto, you know, you click, 00:36:31.710 --> 00:36:34.909 you hit the little switch and you rotate, you 00:36:34.909 --> 00:36:37.030 know, is it something like that? Or is it just 00:36:37.030 --> 00:36:41.090 like a push button? Right. Something like that, 00:36:41.110 --> 00:36:43.449 where it literally can go from non -lethal to 00:36:43.449 --> 00:36:45.909 lethal that easily. It needs to be a little bit 00:36:45.909 --> 00:36:50.400 more, you know, it should. perhaps stay on non 00:36:50.400 --> 00:36:52.880 -lethal and then it's like a bigger deal to engage 00:36:52.880 --> 00:36:55.840 the lethal side but at the same time i can understand 00:36:55.840 --> 00:36:59.000 wanting it to be a semi -seamless kind of deal 00:36:59.000 --> 00:37:00.860 because it could be a life or death situation 00:37:00.860 --> 00:37:05.079 yeah though i could imagine with military efficiency 00:37:05.079 --> 00:37:07.420 you know i could see this something where like 00:37:07.420 --> 00:37:11.119 first in debt is warning a full squeeze is deadly 00:37:11.119 --> 00:37:14.159 you know yeah i could see that so then you know 00:37:14.159 --> 00:37:19.670 accidental rounds popping off you know yep So 00:37:19.670 --> 00:37:23.630 that was the main list. And again, we kind of 00:37:23.630 --> 00:37:25.070 got through that a lot faster than I thought 00:37:25.070 --> 00:37:28.829 we would. Now I understand what the ladies feel 00:37:28.829 --> 00:37:32.010 like when it's date night. So the honorable mentions. 00:37:33.190 --> 00:37:41.630 That explains my dating. No. So here's some of 00:37:41.630 --> 00:37:44.250 the weird shit that just kind of missed the cut. 00:37:46.329 --> 00:37:48.630 These are, again, these were granted patents. 00:37:49.050 --> 00:37:51.289 Yeah. They just didn't fit into the main list, 00:37:51.409 --> 00:37:54.110 but they were still kind of funny or just kind 00:37:54.110 --> 00:37:57.969 of weird and out there. Just kind of granted 00:37:57.969 --> 00:38:01.889 way before a lot of this stuff happened. The 00:38:01.889 --> 00:38:04.389 first one I wanted to talk about was the premature 00:38:04.389 --> 00:38:07.989 burial safety coffin. This is from back in the 00:38:07.989 --> 00:38:12.940 1800s. This is. This is how early this was. U 00:38:12.940 --> 00:38:18.699 .S. patent number 3335A. I would imagine this 00:38:18.699 --> 00:38:20.780 also came about from people that were afraid 00:38:20.780 --> 00:38:24.360 of vampires, too. Probably, yeah. But this is 00:38:24.360 --> 00:38:28.619 from 1843. It was invented by a man named Christian 00:38:28.619 --> 00:38:32.539 H. Eisenbrandt. This is a spring -loaded lid 00:38:32.539 --> 00:38:36.000 with bells, flags, air tubes, and mechanical 00:38:36.000 --> 00:38:39.699 signals. that would pop open or ring if the corpse 00:38:39.699 --> 00:38:43.699 inside moved even a little bit. Now, the reason 00:38:43.699 --> 00:38:47.000 this was a thing is because back then, doctors 00:38:47.000 --> 00:38:49.840 kept declaring people dead a little bit too soon. 00:38:50.539 --> 00:38:54.119 So inventors had to literally patent escape hatches 00:38:54.119 --> 00:38:59.340 from your own grave. Waking up, realizing that 00:38:59.340 --> 00:39:02.320 you're buried alive with a built -in alarm, or 00:39:02.320 --> 00:39:05.920 worse, realizing that it might fail. i'm sorry 00:39:05.920 --> 00:39:08.260 but that would have to be probably one of the 00:39:08.260 --> 00:39:12.280 worst kind of like existential dread things from 00:39:12.280 --> 00:39:15.300 back in those days right well i mean not only 00:39:15.300 --> 00:39:17.900 that you have cemeteries that sometimes they're 00:39:17.900 --> 00:39:21.280 not a lot of visitors sometimes so could you 00:39:21.280 --> 00:39:24.260 imagine you got buried alive you wake up and 00:39:24.260 --> 00:39:26.059 the little alarm bell is going ting ting ting 00:39:26.059 --> 00:39:28.539 ting ting and nobody's there for weeks there 00:39:28.539 --> 00:39:33.539 yeah Or worse, you know, somebody shows up right 00:39:33.539 --> 00:39:36.199 as the last little katink katink is going off. 00:39:37.039 --> 00:39:40.179 Oh, yeah. You're suffocating the desk, still 00:39:40.179 --> 00:39:46.099 pulling the string. All right. I want you to 00:39:46.099 --> 00:39:47.760 take this one because you were cracking up about 00:39:47.760 --> 00:39:52.900 it. The centrifugal birth machine. This was U 00:39:52.900 --> 00:39:59.119 .S. Patent 3216423A. It was granted in 1965 by 00:39:59.119 --> 00:40:02.980 George and Charlotte Blonsky. Of course it was. 00:40:03.239 --> 00:40:06.440 A rotating platform that straps down a laboring 00:40:06.440 --> 00:40:09.139 mother and spins her at high G -forces like a 00:40:09.139 --> 00:40:12.750 carnival ride. centrifugal force supposedly gently 00:40:12.750 --> 00:40:20.010 gently gently yes oh yeah i quote gently propels 00:40:20.010 --> 00:40:22.469 the baby out with a safety net to catch the newborn 00:40:22.469 --> 00:40:29.280 oh The visuals. What about the afterbirth? Is 00:40:29.280 --> 00:40:31.099 that coming out right behind the baby? Because 00:40:31.099 --> 00:40:33.380 not only are you getting the kid going squished 00:40:33.380 --> 00:40:36.440 up on the net and then splat right behind it. 00:40:37.199 --> 00:40:42.119 I highly encourage you to go and look this one 00:40:42.119 --> 00:40:45.800 up because, yes, the fucking visuals. Oh, my 00:40:45.800 --> 00:40:49.159 God. This thing was hilarious. I laughed for 00:40:49.159 --> 00:40:53.710 a solid five minutes on this one. Yeah. It is 00:40:53.710 --> 00:40:57.210 as horrifying as it sounds. Yeah, the baby just 00:40:57.210 --> 00:41:05.210 coming out. Okay. Just like I was saying before, 00:41:05.369 --> 00:41:08.190 the doctor's got the catcher's mitt in case the 00:41:08.190 --> 00:41:10.809 net fails. God forbid the catcher's mitt doesn't 00:41:10.809 --> 00:41:14.250 explode open. All right. Look out, Bobby. He's 00:41:14.250 --> 00:41:17.570 going to left field. And oh, hate to see that. 00:41:17.630 --> 00:41:19.630 The baby has hit the ground and now has cerebral 00:41:19.630 --> 00:41:28.110 palsy. Oh, my God. Oh, it looks like we got a 00:41:28.110 --> 00:41:38.690 pinch hitter. It's twins. So if they miss, does 00:41:38.690 --> 00:41:40.429 the doctor just throw their arms up and yell 00:41:40.429 --> 00:41:45.789 goal or what? I mean, right. Oh, my God. How 00:41:45.789 --> 00:41:47.630 many kids are coming? How many kids are coming 00:41:47.630 --> 00:41:52.260 out with that net face? It looks like you just 00:41:52.260 --> 00:41:54.219 had your baby. He's still got the net implanted 00:41:54.219 --> 00:42:01.460 in his face. He looks just like his daddy. He 00:42:01.460 --> 00:42:05.280 looked like he really wanted that sandwich. The 00:42:05.280 --> 00:42:13.099 Skeleton Interrogation Booth. This one shows 00:42:13.099 --> 00:42:18.599 you the differences of the times. U .S. 1749. 00:42:20.510 --> 00:42:25.590 This was granted back in 1930 by Helen Adelaide 00:42:25.590 --> 00:42:29.369 Shelby. This is a dark booth where a hidden curtain 00:42:29.369 --> 00:42:33.150 rises to reveal a glowing skeleton with red light 00:42:33.150 --> 00:42:37.489 eyes and a moving jaw. The interrogator speaks 00:42:37.489 --> 00:42:40.349 through a hidden microphone while a camera records 00:42:40.349 --> 00:42:44.309 the suspect's terrified confession. Pure psychological 00:42:44.309 --> 00:42:47.329 horror designed to scare criminals into spilling. 00:42:48.110 --> 00:42:51.070 And it looks like a rejected horror movie prop, 00:42:51.250 --> 00:42:56.269 but it was officially patented. Yeah. This is 00:42:56.269 --> 00:42:59.650 from back in the day when people really were 00:42:59.650 --> 00:43:02.690 like ultra religious. They thought shit like 00:43:02.690 --> 00:43:07.130 this was real. Um, you know, coming off of the 00:43:07.130 --> 00:43:12.949 American Victorian era where you had all of this 00:43:12.949 --> 00:43:16.619 kind of like woo woo shit. that was kind of propagating 00:43:16.619 --> 00:43:20.039 mediums and psychics and stuff. We were just 00:43:20.039 --> 00:43:23.559 coming out of the age of where a doctor could 00:43:23.559 --> 00:43:25.360 say, oh, it looks like you've got demons in your 00:43:25.360 --> 00:43:27.099 blood. You should do some cocaine about that. 00:43:27.460 --> 00:43:32.000 Right. And suggest you go see a guy that could 00:43:32.000 --> 00:43:35.639 masturbate you to calm your psychosis. Yeah. 00:43:35.679 --> 00:43:38.380 They couldn't do that. You couldn't do that nowadays. 00:43:38.699 --> 00:43:40.719 I mean, for Christ's sake, you've got people 00:43:40.719 --> 00:43:44.320 taking devices that are like. should not go in 00:43:44.320 --> 00:43:47.880 the human body and getting it lost so um this 00:43:47.880 --> 00:43:50.780 wouldn't do anything to most people they just 00:43:50.780 --> 00:43:55.760 be like um are you gonna pay me for this or you 00:43:55.760 --> 00:43:59.619 know what are we doing yeah no but you know back 00:43:59.619 --> 00:44:02.300 back then when everybody was still ultra religious 00:44:02.300 --> 00:44:06.360 something like this could actually work or or 00:44:07.610 --> 00:44:10.730 You get somebody really, really fucked up on 00:44:10.730 --> 00:44:13.670 acid and then put them in this booth. Oh, my 00:44:13.670 --> 00:44:17.269 God. I think that would work. That would work. 00:44:17.510 --> 00:44:23.889 Mm hmm. All right, buddy. Go ahead. Well, I was 00:44:23.889 --> 00:44:25.570 going to say, you also get those people where 00:44:25.570 --> 00:44:29.309 they get those realistic face masks or like, 00:44:29.329 --> 00:44:31.809 you know, skin tight. You could put some like 00:44:31.809 --> 00:44:34.150 really creepy shit on them, give somebody some 00:44:34.150 --> 00:44:37.750 drugs and watch the reaction. they'll they'll 00:44:37.750 --> 00:44:40.550 freaking admit to anything just to get out of 00:44:40.550 --> 00:44:44.690 that room i killed oh it's my fault i killed 00:44:44.690 --> 00:44:50.929 jesus oh god i'm gonna burn right no dude that 00:44:50.929 --> 00:44:57.329 was a hispanic dude named jesus sorry so you 00:44:57.329 --> 00:45:01.010 gave me the victorian anti -masturbation devices 00:45:01.010 --> 00:45:05.010 you dirty dirty man dozens were granted from 00:45:05.010 --> 00:45:10.960 1850s to the 1910s. Of course they were. I would 00:45:10.960 --> 00:45:13.260 expect nothing less if especially in the United 00:45:13.260 --> 00:45:16.239 States, you know, a bunch of prudes, you know, 00:45:16.239 --> 00:45:20.360 spiked rings, locked cages, pubic hair pullers. 00:45:20.420 --> 00:45:24.460 Ooh, an erection triggered alarms meant to inflict 00:45:24.460 --> 00:45:28.079 pain or wake the wearer at any sign of arousal 00:45:28.079 --> 00:45:31.760 or nocturnal emissions. That last one doesn't 00:45:31.760 --> 00:45:33.719 work for everybody because there's people out 00:45:33.719 --> 00:45:35.699 there that have some really weird things that 00:45:35.699 --> 00:45:41.500 they like. Really weird. The funny thing is they, 00:45:41.619 --> 00:45:44.780 a hundred years ago, they treated the normal 00:45:44.780 --> 00:45:48.820 stuff like it was a disease. Nowadays, all this 00:45:48.820 --> 00:45:51.199 shit, that stuff people go out and pay extra 00:45:51.199 --> 00:45:58.219 for. Sign of the times, right? Yeah. I mean. 00:45:59.019 --> 00:46:01.219 It's, you know, at the sign of times where, you 00:46:01.219 --> 00:46:03.199 know, it's weird when somebody goes and orders 00:46:03.199 --> 00:46:06.539 a $3 ,000 love doll. Instead, it's normal for 00:46:06.539 --> 00:46:10.099 them to have, you know, the spanky ring around 00:46:10.099 --> 00:46:12.739 the base of their junk or, you know, they got 00:46:12.739 --> 00:46:14.579 the nipple clamps or whatever. That's not a big 00:46:14.579 --> 00:46:17.920 deal. Yeah. So that's what I'm saying. Nowadays, 00:46:18.260 --> 00:46:23.360 that's child's play. As sad as that is. I mean, 00:46:23.360 --> 00:46:29.380 for Christ's sake, if you've seen Jackass. yeah 00:46:29.380 --> 00:46:33.099 jackass kind of set the bar for what we as a 00:46:33.099 --> 00:46:37.980 society will accept right when they took the 00:46:37.980 --> 00:46:40.780 uh the acrylic plates and stuck their junk in 00:46:40.780 --> 00:46:46.219 that and then squished it flat yeah you remember 00:46:46.219 --> 00:46:50.559 i remember i don't like that i remember get rid 00:46:50.559 --> 00:46:54.340 of those member berries uh -huh You know, I had 00:46:54.340 --> 00:46:56.519 successfully purged that from my mind until you 00:46:56.519 --> 00:47:00.199 said that. You're welcome. Thank you. Mm -hmm. 00:47:01.119 --> 00:47:04.420 That brings us to the self -butt -kicking machine, 00:47:04.760 --> 00:47:14.320 patent number 6293874B1. This is from 2001. It 00:47:14.320 --> 00:47:19.400 was made by a man named Joe W. Armstrong. He 00:47:19.400 --> 00:47:22.420 got this idea from Liar Liar. I'm sorry. Probably, 00:47:22.519 --> 00:47:26.300 yeah. A crank -operated platform with rotating 00:47:26.300 --> 00:47:29.739 arms and shoes that lets you manually kick your 00:47:29.739 --> 00:47:32.760 own ass at whatever speed or force you want. 00:47:33.539 --> 00:47:38.300 Marketed as amusement or motivation. So, yes, 00:47:38.519 --> 00:47:42.860 someone patented a device for consensual, self 00:47:42.860 --> 00:47:45.940 -inflicted corporal punishment, and the U .S. 00:47:45.960 --> 00:47:49.610 Patent Office said, yeah, sure. Yeah, I could 00:47:49.610 --> 00:47:52.849 totally see this from like the 1940s videos where 00:47:52.849 --> 00:47:55.250 it's got the guy with the nasally voice talking 00:47:55.250 --> 00:47:58.630 about the future inventions. I could see that. 00:47:59.789 --> 00:48:05.309 You too can kick your own ass. Yes, in the days 00:48:05.309 --> 00:48:06.949 of the future, you too can kick your own ass 00:48:06.949 --> 00:48:08.309 to motivate yourself into getting out of bed. 00:48:11.130 --> 00:48:13.130 Now you don't have to worry about your boss getting 00:48:13.130 --> 00:48:20.190 angry with you. Oh, anti -eating face mask. Patent 00:48:20.190 --> 00:48:26.409 4344424A. Wow. That's a lot of fours. Granted 00:48:26.409 --> 00:48:30.269 in 1982. Huh, that's a year after I was born. 00:48:30.809 --> 00:48:35.190 There might be a connection to this. It's a lockable 00:48:35.190 --> 00:48:38.190 metal cage that covers the mouth and chin, physically 00:48:38.190 --> 00:48:40.869 blocking all food while still allowing breathing 00:48:40.869 --> 00:48:44.360 and speech. Sold as a diet aid, but it screams 00:48:44.360 --> 00:48:47.199 potential for forced starvation or total control. 00:48:48.159 --> 00:48:51.960 Yes, we pay extra for that these days. Basically 00:48:51.960 --> 00:48:54.840 a wearable Hannibal Lecter mask for your eating 00:48:54.840 --> 00:48:58.260 habits. Yeah, so look this one up because it 00:48:58.260 --> 00:49:00.519 literally does look like the mask they used in 00:49:00.519 --> 00:49:03.840 Silence of the Lambs. Yeah, except you too will 00:49:03.840 --> 00:49:06.340 not be able to eat fava beans with your Chianti. 00:49:06.900 --> 00:49:20.320 Yeah. How do you taste? I taste delicious. That's, 00:49:20.320 --> 00:49:30.820 well, salty. Yeah. His brains tasted good, I 00:49:30.820 --> 00:49:36.980 guess. Right. I forgot how to pee. What happened? 00:49:37.039 --> 00:49:40.400 Oh, you just ate that. Oh, is that why my pants 00:49:40.400 --> 00:49:47.219 are warm? Right. So that brings us to the end 00:49:47.219 --> 00:49:51.179 of the list. Like we said at the opening, every 00:49:51.179 --> 00:49:53.500 single one of these patents exists right in plain 00:49:53.500 --> 00:49:58.360 sight. The average person just has no idea. If 00:49:58.360 --> 00:50:00.960 you guys had a certain one that you thought was 00:50:00.960 --> 00:50:03.559 particularly out there, let us know. We would 00:50:03.559 --> 00:50:07.699 love to hear that. Yeah. If you know of anything 00:50:07.699 --> 00:50:11.099 that you think should have made the list that 00:50:11.099 --> 00:50:16.010 exists, fucking send it in. please look this 00:50:16.010 --> 00:50:19.750 stuff up. See what you see in the patents because 00:50:19.750 --> 00:50:23.190 this shit's crazy. When I was reading over all 00:50:23.190 --> 00:50:25.090 this stuff, I just kept telling myself like, 00:50:25.110 --> 00:50:27.730 there's no way this is actually real. But again, 00:50:27.889 --> 00:50:31.550 I'm finding this all on the patent website. So 00:50:31.550 --> 00:50:34.329 yeah. I mean the howitzer baby cannon. I mean, 00:50:34.329 --> 00:50:42.130 Jesus. Oh God. Yeah. It's raining babies. So. 00:50:44.610 --> 00:50:49.989 Yeah, so for all you guys listening that have 00:50:49.989 --> 00:50:53.710 grown to a point where you need to have the TV 00:50:53.710 --> 00:50:57.690 on during the night, maybe now you know why. 00:50:58.769 --> 00:51:02.650 Yeah, I don't like it. That could be a reason 00:51:02.650 --> 00:51:07.690 from some of that patent bullshit. That's just 00:51:07.690 --> 00:51:11.369 manipulation at play. Yeah. Or you're just getting 00:51:11.369 --> 00:51:14.380 a security update. You never know. Possibly. 00:51:15.880 --> 00:51:21.500 But yeah, that's it for the list. Did you have 00:51:21.500 --> 00:51:26.000 anything else you wanted to add in? No, no, no. 00:51:26.159 --> 00:51:33.199 If I do, Nintendo might sue me. Ouch. I too can 00:51:33.199 --> 00:51:36.599 collect Pokemon, just not with Pokeballs. Right. 00:51:37.920 --> 00:51:41.980 Gotta have those balls handled. Right. Yeah. 00:51:43.889 --> 00:51:46.429 Coming from the same people that had love hotels. 00:51:47.110 --> 00:51:49.530 Oh, yeah. And the taxi service that took you 00:51:49.530 --> 00:51:56.190 to them. Oh, yes. But, yeah. I hope you guys 00:51:56.190 --> 00:52:01.150 liked this one. Let us know if you want us to 00:52:01.150 --> 00:52:05.409 do more kind of in this style. And we'll try 00:52:05.409 --> 00:52:08.429 to do that. But as far as tonight goes, I think 00:52:08.429 --> 00:52:11.829 that's going to wrap it up for us. Yeah. We're 00:52:11.829 --> 00:52:14.289 going to be back next week and that one is going 00:52:14.289 --> 00:52:19.429 to be a, um, an absolute mind fuck of an episode. 00:52:19.869 --> 00:52:24.630 Um, we're doing it on Easter. Oh, is it Easter? 00:52:24.730 --> 00:52:27.730 We might have to skip that one. Yeah. Okay. So, 00:52:27.849 --> 00:52:30.010 so next week we might not be on the air. We, 00:52:30.070 --> 00:52:32.010 we might skip next week and do a week afterward. 00:52:32.170 --> 00:52:37.530 So we'll, uh, we'll, we'll keep you all posted, 00:52:37.590 --> 00:52:44.579 but, um, yeah. I didn't hear anything. Oh, I 00:52:44.579 --> 00:52:49.280 was like, no, you won't. No, we'll, we'll, we'll 00:52:49.280 --> 00:52:54.820 post something. Okay. So, but yeah, thanks for, 00:52:54.840 --> 00:52:57.639 thanks for hanging out. Hope you guys enjoyed 00:52:57.639 --> 00:53:01.079 the show. We love y 'all and we'll see y 'all 00:53:01.079 --> 00:53:01.420 next time.