Join us on Now We Consume. Take in the knowledge.
Take in the laughs. Indulge in the topics with
us. The Now We Consume podcast will take you
through the parts of your day you normally dread.
Why suffer through the existential crisis of
life alone when you can do it with us? And now
we consume. This is not meant to be a conspiracy
episode or podcast, but we may cover some topics
that dance that line like a toddler dances on
their mother's last nerve. This podcast is rated
I. For immature audiences only. Did you know
that if you fill your butthole with helium and
superglue your cheeks shut, you will in fact
not float away into space like some cool human
balloon? You will just vomit and pass out and
wake up in the hospital after they pop your anus
open with a spring -loaded cheek spreader and
deflate you like a meat whoopee cushion. With
that fact, welcome to the Now We Consume podcast.
I'm your host, Pip. Here as always with my stunned
co -hosts, Gibbs and Gibbles. Hi......... What is the
ratio of abuse that you have to get to where your
brain comes up with that? Is it like being touched
by your uncle then beaten by your aunt? How does
this work? What is the mathematical equation
to where *that* sentence comes out? What in the
flying fuck did I just hear? Like the old guy
sitting at the surplus store, Gibbs. I have seen
some things. That is a case of boredom that I
wish I'd never get. So welcome back, everybody.
I hope you all are enjoying your weekend or weekend
before Thanksgiving, the most glorious and gluttonous
holiday that we have ever devised. This is a
week. It truly is an American holiday. Oh, absolutely.
It is gluttony through and through. This is a
week of pure food chaos. That is unmatched anywhere
in the world. You know what, though? I feel like
in America we're lacking a little bit because
fast food doesn't yet offer a to -go Thanksgiving
meal. Just saying. The day that McDonald's and
Wendy's and all of them offers a to -go Thanksgiving
is when we'll reach peak amount. Yes, that will
be it. Bob Evans is about the only place that
has like a take -home meal around me anyways.
But you have to get it like a day or two before,
and then you have to heat it all up. That's not
like fast food, though. Yeah, but you can get
a Thanksgiving meal in, like, a sub form from,
like, GetGo and different places like that. If
you're brave enough, you can get a Thanksgiving
meal from any gas station. Oh, yeah. What gas
station sells turkey? There's turkey subs. Yeah,
Country Fair, GetGo. It doesn't have to be hot.
Like a full -on turkey? Well, yeah, at Thanksgiving
you have a full turkey. Mm -hmm. That's just
being picky. I mean, if you want, I mean, if
you want a full on deli meat thing, you know,
they get turkey from country fair. Yeah. Or like
me, I go to the local store and I just pick up
like a whole ass rotisserie chicken, but they
also have rotisserie or not rotisserie slabs
of turkey cut up too. It's great either way.
So this week we are going to do a little bit
of a different episode. We're doing a lightning
round style of episode. because next week is
going to be our one -year anniversary for the
show. Give it up, everybody. Woot, woot. Thank
you all for being here. Raise that roof. Woot,
woot. So aside from astounding ourselves for
being able to keep our attention focused on something
for a year, we're trying to get an episode done
that we've been working on, honestly, since last
season to have that be our show for next week.
All right. So today. I bring to you McDonald's
burger to believe the world's oldest quarter
pounder turns 30. Quote unquote, it's no longer
food. It wasn't food when it was made. Right?
Hold on, let me see if I can pull this picture
up. Hold on, so is it like just hanging out?
Like is it in a container? Is it like... It's
just hanging out from what I've seen. How is
it still a burger? How is it not like just a
pile of jello or like just biological matter?
Well, so you remember the episode we did on our
food is killing us? Yeah. That's why. Does it
still look like a burger? This is yet more proof.
Which I want to kind of shout out the video that
I made the other day and put up on Facebook.
Oh my God. Look at this thing. If you're listening
on the audio platforms. Please come over and
check out the video that accompanies the show
because holy shitballs. So wait a minute. That's
a 30 -year -old burger? That's a 30 -year -old.
That literally looks like a usual chicken sandwich
from most fast food places. Wow. And if you look
closely, the darker parts on the meat patty,
that's where the ketchup at one point was. That's
not the cheese. That's the ketchup. Yeah. It's
just a quarter pounder. It's not a quarter pounder
with cheese. Okay. Okay. Fair. Wow. How is the
timeout? Yep. How is there not mold on the bread?
They put anti -mold agents in the bread. So I
made a video and put it up on Facebook the other
day. I have a package of bread up in my kitchen
from July. I stumbled on it a few weeks ago,
realizing when it was from. It's not molded.
It's hamburger buns. They're not molded. They're
still soft. The bag has been opened. It's been
used, but I compared it to some sub buns that
I got just this week. The sub buns are showing
mold now. Um, they have to be tossed. So this,
this, this is a thing. Yeah. Uh, according to
the guy that's had this thing for the last 30
years, he said that, uh, this thing has been
just in a, It's been out in the shed. Where else
has it been? But it's still got the McDonald's
stamped beige paper packaging all this time.
Hasn't been refrigerated. It's been stuffed in
cupboards, garbage bags, and sheds. It's still
eerily intact, as you can see. And it hasn't
developed any mold or bad odor. Sporting McDonald's,
huh? Does this guy have like an emotional support
hamburger? I'm right. Why? Why did he keep it?
I need to know. I need to ask this guy like,
hey, so you found a burger. Yeah, yeah. And you
kept it. Oh, yeah. For 30 years. Yeah. Why? Why
not is the better question at this point. Right.
Oh, my God. I mean, those of us that have kids,
we've all found that random chicken nugget in
our backseat a year later. Right. And it's dried
out. But it still looks fine. Yeah. I don't know
how many of you guys have also given it the bite
test, but you didn't. I'm sorry. What? You got
to give them the bite test and see what they
taste like. No, you don't. No one says you have
to. Do you think? Hold on. Is someone putting
a gun to your head or something? What's going
on? Right. Do you want to die? Because that's
how you're going to die. I will neither confirm
or deny. Oh, my God. All right. Stomach. So I
did not swallow that bite of chicken nugget.
Well, here's the best part. According to McDonald's,
this isn't supposed to happen. They're like,
we don't know why the burger hasn't aged. But
they're like, you know, they're saying it's a
huge myth that the burgers never go bad and break
down. They're like, you know, there had to be
some, you know, special situation where, you
know, it was just a very dry environment or,
you know, somehow it got dehydrated. Come on.
Nope. Everybody that eats at McDonald's knows
that while it's hot and fresh, okay, yeah, it's
still... It's edible. Some people like it. Some
people don't. However, we all know at the end
of the day, when you pump enough preservatives
and chemicals into the food, it's not going to
break down. Yeah. I lived on that shit for years.
And I mean, look at me. I'm living proof. Oh,
and article. Okay. So they're saying the reason
why he kept it is it got shoved into a cupboard.
So, uh, whoa, what's. Nitz explains a friend
couldn't finish the burger and asked them to
hold on to it. The friend never came back, but
he kept his promise. And then his mom begged
him to throw out the stale food that was sitting
at his desk. But because he was a stubborn teenager,
he refused to get rid of it, so he shoved it
in a box and put it in the cupboard. Because
he made a promise that he wouldn't throw it away.
You know, that's a good friend, but I mean, damn.
You know, at some point, you just got to go.
It's got to go. He's not coming back. No. I don't
think he's going to eat it. No, but, you know,
that's a good friend that does that. All right,
so moving on. Gibbs, did you have one? I have
a couple. Okay. I'll just pull up the first one
here. So this was an interesting one. So a while
ago, somebody had made a game called you are
Jeff Bezos, which basically it was the idea of
like, if you had access to Jeff Bezos who runs
Amazon, all the, his email and like, you could
like see what you could do with like your 150
or $200 billion of value or whatever. So somebody
decided, Oh, let's make a game where you have
a clone Gmail account, except you're logged in
as Jeffrey Epstein and you could see all his
emails. And it is one of the most cursed games
I've ever seen. I, There were things I cannot
show for obvious reasons. Oh, no. But I thought
it was kind of hilarious considering everything
that's happened that you could be on Steam playing.
You are Epstein or playing as Epstein or whatever.
Oh, through the emails. Some of them are just
really funny gag stuff. Like some of it's just
random, like hilarious stuff. But the reason
why I want to bring this up is because some of
the stuff politically they were talking about
how the Epstein files of some stuff got like
released. So now they're going to be doing jokes.
about certain politicians doing certain things
to other people, so it's meant to be a gag kind
of thing, like a funny thing. But who the hell
thought, ah, yes, let's turn the Epstein documents
into emails and release it as a video game? Oh,
Jesus. I just had a good laugh with it. I could
see that totally as a Rick and Morty episode.
Yeah. Honestly. Oh, geez. Instead of being John
Malkovich, it's being Jeff Epstein. It's just
such a stupid little thing, but I just thought
it was hilarious. Yeah. Because I was like, who
else? The thing is, who else are they going to
start doing that with? Who else would be like
a funny person to do that? I have the best email.
It's the best. It's just so great. Anybody that
sees my email, they're just going to be blown
away. Yeah. All right. Did you have another one
that you wanted to mention? We've got Mountain
of Illegally Dumped Trash near Oxford River in
England. Oh, yeah. Did you have the picture on
that one? Because that was pretty gross. Let
me see. Oh, that's a video. We don't want a video.
Yeah, so there's rivers in England that are getting
pretty gross, for lack of a better term. We won't
get into why. That's for a separate politics
kind of thing. That's the river. I'll go ahead.
So it now identifies as a solid. It's no longer
a liquid. From what the discussion that I saw,
it was like several hundred tons of trash. Right
now it's some of the rivers in England. It's
just a causeway of pure... I can't even describe
it. This took like barely a year for this to
happen. They're saying like just... Back in April
2024 or something, like, everything was fine,
and then all of a sudden, boom, trash. So what's
interesting, though, so away from the politics
side, what was interesting, if you look at the
trash, a lot of it is processed, which means
there are companies operating and illegally dumping
over there. And apparently this isn't the only,
this one's by far the worst case, but they're
having a problem in England where some people
have come over and they didn't know how to deal
with it. in terms of local services, that they
have other companies that deal with trash and
waste that are just taking on the contracts,
taking the waste, and putting it somewhere else.
Yep. Fly tipping. Yeah, that's what they call
it over there. Which, by the way, I don't know
who's tipping flies, but that's weird. I've tipped
a cow. That's a complicated process. I don't
get it. I have tipped a cow, but I've never tipped
a fly unless you count flicking it off of the
surface it was on. That's non -consensual ejection.
That's the world's cheapest space program. You
were the weakest link. Goodbye. Yes. All expense
paid trip to over there. Not only that, can you
imagine waking up in the morning and you walk
out to your front yard to get your newspaper
and then, hey, look, there's last night's trash
from the local porno shop. Hey, I recognize that.
Damn. Yeah. I was wondering why it smelled like
latex and shame out here. Yeah. But it's apparently
a problem that's happening really all over Europe
besides Poland, but really in the UK a lot. That's
been a big thing, especially in local parks and
stuff like that. Nature reserves, whatever you
want to call it. Yeah. But the other problem
with this was that the local town is apparently
responsible for cleaning it up. And they were
like, we don't have the funds to do this. And
the federal government was like, how about no?
Like, we're not going to get involved because
we don't have money. So now it's because this
whole big problem of like who is actually responsible,
but they don't know who's dumping it, which I
do find kind of weird because they have police
cameras and traffic cameras everywhere in England.
A lot of the cameras have been getting knocked
down. yeah i wonder why so it's well so a lot
of the cameras have been getting knocked down
because they're being used to enforce fines and
facial recognition stuff that a lot of the people
are just fed up with so we'll we'll go into further
detail on on some of the more political episodes
that we do but you know good on the people for
fighting back on the facial recognition shit
because that needs to happen oh yeah yeah so
it sounded more and more like china Yeah. It's
just one of the things to keep in mind that I
think something in the Western world we're dealing
with is just waste in general and waste management.
That's now becoming really a new trillion dollar
industry is what do we do with all the waste
and all these things? How do we process it? How
do we deal with it? Yeah. And unfortunately,
a lot of cases, there's like no real straightforward
answer because the costs in order to do that
kind of stuff is just skyrocketing. Skyrocketing.
I mean, there was a whole episode of Futurama
about how they handled their trash in the future.
They strapped it all into a rocket and launched
it into the sun. I still don't see the problem
with that. Has anyone ever proven if that wouldn't
work? Yeah, it would absolutely work. It's bad.
They're getting it into orbit and then the risk
of the rocket exploding. That's true. Especially
if the Russians did it. or north korea because
i mean if we do it then everyone else is going
to try it and could you imagine dirty diapers
raining for miles just build a rail gun into
the side of a mountain and just shoot it kinetically
okay so the kinetic accelerator like the the
the centrifugal accelerator yeah yeah You just
compact everything down to cubes and then just
launch, you know? Yeah, just mammal kind of shit.
Hell yeah. I think that needs revisited now that
we have better technology. Because that would
be hilarious. Humanity develops the fastest space
-faring vessel ever designed. And what does it
do? It launches our shit. Yep. Literally. Literally.
Yeah. Where's it going? To the sun. Away. Yes.
Where's it going? Away. away away not here all
right imagine the international space station
agency literally a pile of shit flying by you
it's going at you know speed of jesus christ
all right so i want to hit a news article um
special announcement we here at the now we consume
podcast have obtained dark web access only photographs
of comet three eye Atlas. It took an immense
amount of research to find these. You are not
going to find these images anywhere else on the
web. I can promise you. So here tonight. And
again, if you're on the audio versions, please
go check out the stream. Oh, these pictures are
going to show definitively this comet. is 100
technological in origin and i know this sounds
crazy but gibbles go ahead drop the feed not
that one we have proof no we have proof right
there that comet as you can see is not natural
How did I know? How did I know? How did I know?
Honestly, I fully expected you to do something
stupid like me dressed in drag or something crazy.
That is actually not as offensive as I thought
you'd be. You know what's funny with that AI
photo? I look like a mix -up between myself and
Lieutenant. I was thinking Iron, but do you have
the other one? gibbles i'm working i'm working
i'm working yeah at least honestly the headset's
done a pretty good detail like that it is gibbs
is now urbaning the earth where is it i don't
know it's wherever you put it it's your computer
you know i am i am not surprised but also what
the fuck so there he is there he is so there
we go Gibbs is just riding around in space. Fair
enough. Fair enough. Then how am I here? Well,
you were done orbiting the Earth, and then you
came back. It was a long trip. It was a long
trip. So, yeah, we wanted to have a little bit
of fun with that. I might change that to my Discord
profile. That's hilarious, actually. I kind of
like it. But in all seriousness. Elon Musk was
talking about the comet and how it's kind of
haunting. We're still watching it, but we do
have at least some more definitive proof that
it is, in fact, a natural phenomenon. So, unfortunately,
there will be no clapping cheeks of aliens this
month, like we had hoped. Jesus Christ. Yeah.
I'm sad. We have... Listener confessions. This
is going to be for an upcoming episode. We would
like everybody that listens to the show to either
via Facebook or on discord or on Instagram, whichever
submit your most embarrassing, weird, or what
the hell story anonymously. We will read them
out to each other and get live reactions. And
we'll try to guess if they're real or fake. So
if you want to make up a story, That's fine.
Let's have at it. Just notate whether it actually
happened or if this is just total bullshit. Give
us a challenge. We'd like to see what you can
come up with for us. That's dangerous. It is.
I could tell the missile story on air. Oh, yes.
Yes. Or the other story that shall not be named.
Oh, that one. That one. That one. We have a special
guest that we have to tell him we're doing that
one. Well, yeah, maybe watch it. So you watch
it. Oh yeah. Um, in, in the news, uh, Qatar had
an emergency alert drill that scared the absolute
shit out of everybody. Uh, they had their, Oh,
they, they had a nationwide siren blast for the
world cup prep. Uh, people's phones went off.
uh they started to panic buy supplies like it
was a y2k prep so that would have been fun similar
to that hawaii missile alert can you imagine
if you're in one of those countries that like
routinely gets that kind of bullshit and your
phone gets the you're going to die alert and
then spam stock goes through the roof you know
what i gotta be honest with you in like nine
months you're gonna see a big uptick of kids
uh yeah There's a lot of people that said, well,
last ride to die, baby. Oh, God, yeah. No protection
required because we're not going to be here tomorrow.
And then an hour later, it's like, we need to
go to CVS. That's bold of you to think they have
CVS at Qatar. I know. I could say what it actually
is, but that would get us off air. I know in
Kuwait, they have a Chili's. That's true. They
have an Applebee's, too. I went to the Applebee's.
It was really nice. They have a Chili's in Qatar
because I went to it. Oh, wait. That was Bahrain.
That was Bahrain. Yeah. I went to Applebee's
in Kuwait City. That was awesome. Nice. A little
weird because the bar was empty, but you know.
Yeah. The U .S. Mint is retiring the penny. So
goodbye to Lincoln's shiny scam. After 232 years,
no more one -cent coins. This is the final fuck
you to couch change. Pennies were worthless anyways,
but now rounding up prices will screw the poor.
We need to do it. What? I was getting ready to
say I've already seen the shenanigans from this
app, from this situation. Oh, yeah. Standing
in line at a gas station. Oh, my God. People
think pennies are just suddenly disappearing
now. they're not going away anytime soon. We
have like 30 years worth of pennies in circulation.
There's trillions of pennies in circulation.
Oh, yeah. Well, then you've got companies that
are like, oh, well, if it's going to be pennies
or no more, we're not taking them. So we'll either
round up or round down. And then you end up with
a situation with poor people arguing about two
cents. Yeah, that should be. That should be fun.
You know what's going to be funny? I wonder the
amount of people that are going to be illegally
collecting pennies to melt down and sell the
copper and whatever things that's in them, the
metals, because they're worth more than the value
of a penny. So I was watching a video on that
recently, and in the next few years, the older
pennies are probably going to go up in value
because people will do just that, especially
if the price of copper keeps going up. Have you
seen the price of copper lately? Yeah. it's that's
why i was redoing some plumbing on saturday i
did pvc because i'm not paying for copper boy
yeah hoarding all my copper in the house fuck
you you can't have my copper yeah copper's ridiculous
well not just copper either it's like all the
precious metals um here let me let me get a live
price real quick while we're on the topic silver
to start mining silver is at fifty dollars and
nineteen cents an ounce I'm not that old, and
I can remember when silver was $4 an ounce. $2
an ounce, even. I remember when I was younger,
it was like $8 or $10. Gold is sitting at $4
,067 an ounce right now. I remember when gold
was like $1 ,000 an ounce. I can remember when
it was $2 .50 an ounce. Well, that too. Again,
I'm old. Copper. We're the same age. Copper is
coming up on $5 a pound. That is where goddamn
ridiculous. Not explain why there's not much
copper in my new house. Uh -huh. Not that long
ago. Copper was sitting at like a dollar 52 dollars
a pound. So yeah, the pennies that they just
got rid of the new pennies were Let me see. Let
me see. Let me guess. It costs about a nickel
to make. Metal value was .008 cents. So still
less than a penny. The old pennies, however,
were 3 .2 cents. So that kind of raises a question.
What math were they going on to get rid of the
penny? Well, it depends on who was president
at the time, I guess. Trump. They just did it.
Because this is not showing that it's three cents
worth of material for the penny. I don't know.
Nickels are almost six cents each, so they'll
be next. Nickel is sitting at $6 .50 a pound.
So that's kind of cool. Start hoarding nickels.
And by the way, if you have any old silver change,
if you know how to look for it, hold on to that
shit because, oh, my God. Oh, yeah. Silver quarters
make a very unique sound when they hit the table.
Yes, they do. And for reference, silver quarters
right now, this is not a coin collecting channel,
$9 a piece. Wow, I got nine bucks in the safe.
Nice. I've got almost a whole quarter roll of
those upstairs. Where the hell do you find them?
Change. Laundromats, dude. Go to laundromats.
Wait a minute. I never thought about this. You
build a laundromat in a rich area and you don't
even try to do it to make a profit. You just
collect all the fucking rare coins. Uh -huh.
Yeah. Wow. There are coin channels that'll tell
you all the key date coins and error coins and
shit. Yeah, there's a lot of those. There's an
app you can use to scan them. Uh -huh. Just like
cards. Yeah. Just like the magic cards? Yes.
There's an app for coins. I know because I have
so many. You know those five -gallon jugs of
coins? I have four or five of those full of coins
from the 50s, 60s. You could go on a vacation
to Hawaii. Probably. Oh, I know. But I want to
sit on them and wait. Yeah. Just don't lube them
up and sit on them. Okay, you're not a goose.
So the Morgan dollars and the Peace dollars,
$38 .82 each. Damn. $3 .82 each. So Morgan dollars
are still a good buy if you get them on eBay
or something. Just make sure they're not scams.
So yeah, that's all we're going to talk about
for precious metals and rare coins and shit.
But yeah, that's still pretty insane. So keep
an eye on the metal currency. It's worth holding
on to. So what I'm hearing is we need to put
our funds together and invest in a copper mine.
Yeah, copper mines, copper stock. I mean, buying
copper bullion online is still fairly cheap.
You can get kilo bars for not that much. And
then we convince teenagers that the more copper
you collect, the more women you have. There you
go. Well, they're not interested in women. They're
going to be interested in women bots. That's
true. If you collect enough copper and silicone,
you can make your own. There you go. Or trade
it in for a bot. Yeah. Yes. Bot trading. So,
Gibbs, did you want to take any of the next ones
here? I'm sorry. I was staring at the photo.
That's wild. You know what I hate? I hate that
it actually has more definition in the face than
the camera shows. So I look pale in comparison
to the fucking photo. Oh, yeah. That's killing
me. Had to get the natural skin tones in there.
Oh, my God. He's licking love. Well, it's just
weird. It was just weird. I think it's the eye
color right, too, which is fucking weird. There
you are, man. God. Although it could have given
me a full head of hair. Like, that's kind of
fucking rude. It gave me even less hair. Wait
a minute. I'm kind of insulted. It gave me even
less hair in the fucking photo. Jesus Christ.
Oh, shit. I mean, you still have more hair than
I do. But, you know, hey. Oh, my God. Because
right now, with the light being, you can't even
see what's left right here. All gone. Not even
a hair club for men could save me. To be fair,
you could rock bald, though. True. I've been
rocking it since... Oh, man. You got the Picard
going on. I think, like, 2004? Wow. Yeah. The
moment I had a beautician tell me, you're losing
your hair, I just shaved it off. Ouch. Mm -hmm.
Right before a buddy's wedding. I was just like,
yeah, it's got to go. Jesus Christ. If you want
me to take the next one. Yeah, we have the paradox
of peak TV. Are we watching less because there
is more? Is there a lot of burnout, decision
fatigue and the streaming wars? So basically,
one of the topics that we've kind of discussed
previously, but I know this is something that
I think we're seeing even more of. I did want
to reference this to the fact that I want to
ask you to a question. Are the movie theaters
near you guys shutting down as well? It's not
shutting down, but I'm surprised it's still open.
Because the big news in my area, so I'm near
where the Patriots NFL team has their stadium,
and there's a huge AMC big theater next to it.
It's massive. It's like three floors. It has
a bunch of different levels and stuff and so
many different. That's closing down. Literally
the biggest one in the state. Wow. That's how
bad it is. I'm not surprised. But what's wild
is where the Patriots, what's called Patriots
Place. There's like nine or ten bars and a bunch
of shops and different areas. It's in like a
big kind of entertainment area. Plus, there's
a big medical district in there, too. So it's
like if you're ever going to have a place to
have a movie theater. That's it. Thousands of
people coming out and they can't even survive.
So I guess I've been wondering, like, number
one, what are you guys thoughts on at this point?
Number one. all the different streaming options
number two the fact that the movies now kind
of suck and number three there's nothing like
original and also what the fuck do you even choose
at this point because not for nothing every single
week someone tells me a show from some other
streaming service i'm at a point where it's like
i apparently have to buy fucking all of them
and then never use them yeah well i would definitely
have to say that you may not be old enough for
this but it's definitely what i think is the
blockbuster effect where you walk into Blockbuster,
you have hundreds of choices to pick for a movie,
and you walk around for an hour just perusing
the videos, and you're like, I don't know what
to choose. And you may even walk out of there
not choosing a damn thing. I know when I sit
down at my television, I end up just looking
at YouTube only because of the fact that my attention
span is only so long, and I don't mind just...
clicking through stuff just like i was in blockbuster
when i was younger oh my god and uh yeah and
then with the movie theaters closing down it
doesn't help that you can buy almost a 90 some
inch screen display for your living room put
hook up a surround sound system and be just as
good as the movie yeah I was kind of annoyed
that I saw ticket prices in my area. They're
$15 to $20 per ticket to see a movie. Oh, I know.
You're spending $50 on a movie theater. Easy.
Per person. And it's like, why would I do that
if I can rent the house through Amazon Prime
for like $5? Or buy it for $20. Or buy the lease
to be able to watch it whenever you want for
$20. We'll talk about that later. To circle back
on what you were saying, The shit coming out
of Hollywood nowadays sucks. It doesn't justify
the price of a movie ticket. Not at all. I mean,
the last movie I went and saw, only because of
the fact it was unrated, was The Toxic Avenger.
Yeah, which I'm still trying to watch. I loved
that. That was a good one. Yeah. I'll be honest.
Did anyone see the more recent Hulk or Red Hulk
Marvel movie? No. No. You know what's funny?
I've asked that. To everyone I know. And you
know what everyone has said? No. No. My buddy
and I tried to watch it at his house, and we
thought we got ripped off for spending $5 to
watch it. I was sitting there thinking, wow,
$5, and I still got screwed over. And the sad
part is that was supposed to be a big movie for
the year. Even I heard Fantastic Four wasn't
that good. I don't know. I enjoyed that one.
It was pushed, and it flopped. The newest Tron.
pushed all to hell, flopped so hard. They're
going to lose $130 million on that one because
they're pulling it out of theaters early. We
talked about the decline of the entertainment
industry. They're running out of ideas. Some
of it's not even running out of ideas. It's the
fact that they want to sit there and push all
these agendas. Just tell the freaking story.
I don't care if it's a white character. It's
a white character. It's a black character. Put
a black person in there. That's it. Don't sit
there and whitewash or blackwash or Asian wash
whatever the character is. Don't put somebody
into a position that doesn't need to be there.
That doesn't need to be there. I mean, the latest
Harry Potter series that's coming out and they're
putting a gentleman that is obviously a very
good actor. However, for that part, the way the
story is written, you mean to tell me Harry Potter's
father is now going to be picking on a black
person? That is so bad. That's against his character
that's written in the original books. Exactly.
So that one's going to fail. Yeah. And everybody's
sitting like, we don't understand. No. You've
removed yourself from the idea that maybe you
should think about what the characters... are
doing and why certain parts are the way they
are if you don't like it well then guess what
move on to a different project i mean it's stupid
they got mad at all these movies from like the
early eras where you know you had a white man
playing a chinese character or a japanese character
okay i can understand you'd be pissed because
that's racist but at the same time these days
we because we're more supposed to be more progressive
You don't take a black person and put them into
a white person's character. That makes no damn
sense. Or vice versa. They did that with that
movie, Vice Versa. Look how that turned out.
Well, I don't know. I thought that was funny.
That was intentional, but that was making fun
of that whole idea. I know. That was a joke.
It's like, has anyone watched the more recent
Lord of the Rings TV show that was on Amazon
Prime? I did not. Are you talking about the animation
one? No, no, the live action one that was done
like a year or two. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So
if anyone wants to see something like that showed
100 % to the extent, watch that. And you'll see
it goes against almost everything J .R .R. Tolkien
made in that universe. It made it very political,
very, you know, one -sided politically. And it
failed as a story. It didn't tell a good story.
It was just it got so lost in selling a point
that they're there to sell the politics, not
the story. And I think, unfortunately, the phrase
I hate to bring it up, but go woke, go broke.
Unfortunately, it has been proven time and time
again. If you just tell a good story, that's
all people are asking for. And I hear this from
people on all sides of political spectrum, even
people I know that are very on the woke kind
of progressive side. It's like we just want to
have fun. Why is it that movies can't be fun
anymore? Why can't they just be funny? The last
good movie I saw was Hitman's Bodyguard, and
that was like three years ago. Oh, yeah. Hitman's
Bodyguard's wife. That one was good, too. Yes.
That was a great movie. That was amazing. There
was no politics, no nothing. It was just fun.
I will say, I like Playdate. That one was good,
too. I haven't seen that one. I will say that
as far as the movies themselves go, we are...
Not that far away, probably maybe three years,
five years tops. Excuse me. From having AI being
able to take a book and fully render a video
that is book accurate into a movie for you within
a day, possibly even a few hours. So you can
take a book, submit it to the AI engine, go to
work. And when you come home, it's ready for
you. And it will be book accurate or book accurate,
ready for you to watch and done. Customized for
you. That's going to take us into a whole new
realm of media because then you can even have
edited versions that you have customized. And
then you can send those out to the world and
say, hey, here's this spin on it. Those could
even be done like NFTs. i know that's like somebody
taking the um what movie was that with chris
pratt where he was stuck on the ship by himself
and everybody else was in hyper sleep passengers
that's it and they recut it to where it was a
horror movie instead and it was from the other
characters perspective yeah which i think would
be a a good watch honestly yeah it's going to
be the case of eventually what's going to happen
it's going to be an ai exchange where essentially
between music videos and movies and tv shows
especially it's going to be reruns of old tv
shows it'll be reimagined re -edited or updated
or making sequels or prequels whatever it's eventually
going to be for example for someone like me that
i think all three of us agree avatar the last
merry bender the original tv show is probably
one of the best you know animated tv shows of
all time uh -huh it was amazing for those of
us that are like I wonder what happened afterwards.
We'll be able to make our own and make it make
sense. And especially all those people on Reddit
and online and 4chan or whatever that make the
sequels and write all the stuff, they're going
to go nuts with it. The problem is going to be
there's no such thing as canon because it's going
to be in the Pip universe or in the Gibbles universe
or in the Gibbs universe or whatever. And it's
going to be wild, but what's going to be interesting
is I think... Filmmaking for a long time has
been not like a niche thing, where really to
be a good filmmaker, you have to kind of have
a very special skill set. Now it's going to be
whoever has access to the resources, they can
make whatever they want, which is good for creativity
in a lot of ways, because that's to do a bit
of a parallel. Right now in the music world,
we're at a point to where I can at home, just
in my regular studio here, make records that
sound... very, very, very damn near close to
what people produce in professional million dollar
studios with the right software. Eventually movies
and TV shows are going to go the same way as
it is. I've already seen spinoffs of TV shows
for like small episodes that AI is already doing
and they're fucking hilarious. I watched one
the other day. It was like a five minute episode
of if the Avengers were an 80 sitcom movie and
I'll be honest with you. It was hilarious. I
actually had a good time with it. Somebody spent
some real effort into it, but imagine very soon.
You'll be able to change everything. Yeah. As
it stands right now, we have the technology and
the capacity to do short films via AI, like as
it is. So people who are good at writing prompts
and editing prompts and generating content off
of other content can already do short films.
upwards of 15 to 30 minutes. So if you're a good
storyteller and you can write a good story that
can be translated into an AI prompt universe,
essentially, you can very quickly give a Hollywood
studio a huge run for their money. without having
to spend all the resources and pay the actors
because AI is going to do it for you. Give it
another couple of years and it's going to be
a full -on AI versus real actors war. Like the
writer's strike that we had, it's going to be
the actor's strike because the AI is going to
be replacing the actors. They've already had
that written into their contracts. But AI can
just create people. Did you both know? This is
something I didn't want to say before the podcast.
Did you both know that on Spotify for a few days,
the top artist was a full AI artist? Yes, I saw
that. I heard about that. Yeah. No, I was going
to say the other issue you're running into is
audiobooks. The series I've been listening to
now for a while is Dungeon Crawler Carl. The
narrators. They've done an amazing job. One narrator,
he does so many different voices. It's amazing.
You can go online, and if it's not on Audible,
you go to Spotify, a bunch of other sites, and
it's AI -generated narration. And it's being
sold like it's the actual official one. So that's
just another spin where AI is being utilized
to take over. artists you know format the only
thing i will i will add is i am seeing some people
using ai for really cool tools though so one
of the things i did see so there's this app called
suno where basically you can use it to create
music or media what i've been using it for which
i find interesting is i will record let's just
say a guitar part make sure it's obviously time
aligned and then i'll send it to suno and say
hey write a cool drum part for it i'll just have
it regenerate And give me ideas. And I say, oh,
I like that. Then I hop on the drums and I'll
play my version of it. So I use it almost like
a writing tool. And I think maybe the way to
look at it is if you use AI in conjunction or
maybe to springboard an idea for many things,
it can be cool. Like, for example, if you're
using it for making a movie, sometimes it could
be, hey, we can AI out almost 80, 90 percent
of the movie before we even shoot it. That way
we can make sure everything makes sense. It looks
good. And you use that as a template. Then you
actually shoot it and make it in real time. What
I wonder is, is the movie industry going to change
to where people are going to submit movies that
are AI made and they'll spend a few thousand
dollars, maybe $10 ,000 on the AI software to
make it. And then that's their pitch saying,
Hey, this isn't a proper movie. It's an AI one,
but this is how I want it to be. This will make
the storyline make sense. Here's the script.
This is the gist of it. And then they go. actually
make it if we switch to that kind of system i
think that would give so many people an advantage
to be able to make good consistent and coherent
movies but then still be able to employ people
to make them so it all depends on how you use
it really it just you know just like anything
else yeah i think it more like you know okay
you have factory made bread and you have artisan
you know you ai okay you know it's not bad it
works or artisan it's human made you know what
you prefer you get hollywood movies and artist
movies and yeah you know what's gonna be interesting
though i wonder if the amount of really shit
hollywood actors and actresses that they keep
being employed just because they're around how
many of them are going to be replaced by ai because
i don't want to fucking deal with them right
yeah you know you don't have to convince ai to
do a sex scene whereas you have to do you know
have you know All that stuff for an actress and
actor to keep everything safe. Everybody feels
comfortable. You just tell the AI actors. Yeah,
exactly. Whereas AI actress and actor, you just
tell them, do whatever. And you don't have to
worry about anybody complaining. But that's the
thing is, I wonder how many scenes they won't
even need actors to be there for. They'll just
do the talking parts and some of the action sequences.
Then they'll leave. And the other half of the
movie will be all AI. And at one point, you'll
never know. Yep. Yeah. It's almost there. Almost.
Yeah. It's that extra pinky that really does
it for me. Oh, yeah. When they grip a hold of
things and there's that extra little grab on
thing, you know. Gibles. Oh, yeah. Another hand
comes in. Well, let's skip the next one. We'll
come back to it. Gibles, if you want to take,
we'll just segue into this topic here. Which
one you point at? Page three, top of page three.
Oh, top of page three. Oh, really? That's the
one I got to talk about. Well, we're going to
segue back into the one above it after this because
we're going to stick with this kind of loop.
I was getting ready to say, I'm like, man, the
way that reads, it's like. And now Gibbles gets
to come in with the boring shit. Oh, no, no,
no, no, no, no. And I'm Walter Cronkite. And
we're going to talk about the economy. That's
it. Yeah. Yeah. So is everything a trailer now?
You know, all these Marvel Cinematic Universe
movies, you know, before Endgame. You know, you
had your prequels and sequels and stuff. Not
bad because of the fact that I think because
they followed the movies or comics. Wow, I think
I've drank too much. Go figure. You know, they're
following the comics. But then after Endgame,
I felt like we're doing the whole DEI and we're
putting in the woke and we're setting the agenda
and everything just kind of went to crap. Yeah.
Let me interject here. Does anybody else, and
all the people listening too, when they finished
the Marvel Endgame movies, who else felt like
that was just like a hard nosedive for Hollywood?
And they were like, this is peak movie. We can
never, ever top this again. So now everything
we make after this point will just suck. that
the problem is you had covid that literally happened
right after it and then it stunted everything
else afterwards but that should have been a time
for the writers to turn around take the time
they had to social distance and stay inside for
that two weeks that was 800 weeks to flatten
the curve and just write and create and do everything
that they could have done but here's the thing
you're thinking of it as a positive they thought
about it as we got to make money now so the thing
is What you're looking at is correct. They should
have spent the time and said, hey, if while we're
locked down anyway, let's refine. Let's look
over this stuff long term. You know, sure, we're
not going to make as much money in the short
term, but let's maximize our royalties, maximize
our money we got from these movies. Let's keep
merchandise going and everything else. Keep teasers
and ask everybody what they want, because quite
frankly, everybody's stuck at home. We can't
do anything anyway. But instead, they said, quick,
let's get the slop out there now because everybody's
stuck at home. So they're going to watch it whether
they want to or not. Yeah. So Hollywood failed
massively in that time frame during COVID. But
Pornhub skyrocketed, which was a given. Well,
here's a good thing you can think about, too.
It's almost the same way when you had Zack Snyder
making Justice League. Sadly, he had to leave
for personal reasons. You know, the family emergency,
everything, God forbid. But then you brought
in somebody from Marvel Universe to take the
movie and finish it. And instead of just taking
what was done and just running with it and get
it done, this jackass goes and decides, no, I
know better than Zack Snyder. I know better than
everyone else. And I'm going to take DC Comics,
which are normally edgier and darker in content
anyways. and I'm going to make it bright and
fuzzy, and everybody's happy, and we're going
to get the happy ending right away. And just
go that way, and then watch how fast that shit
flopped. Brightburn was a movie that was done,
if you guys saw that one, young Superman as a
child or a teenager. Yeah, it turns out to be
the villain. Turns out, yeah, it's like the bizarro
line of Superman. he he realizes that he's a
sociopath and just doesn't care he will kill
whoever he wants to because we're the weak ones
yeah i wish to hell they would be able to get
the other half of the rights to that movie franchise
and continue down that line because oh my god
if you've not watched bright burn i highly i
cannot recommend that movie enough and i'm not
like a huge dc fan but fuck that movie was good
it was gory and violent as shit in some scenes
pleasingly violent even that and it wasn't like
yeah well it wasn't even like out of place the
way they did it no totally appropriate well well
within the character bounds well it's but it's
one of those things you need to what that i thought
the boys had proved this three or four years
ago when they first came out dude the boys is
awesome The boys on Amazon Prime, I really feel,
accept the new standard for superhero. And the
thing is, Marvel was smart. They have their niche,
which is good. Yeah. Which is great. They're
staying within it. Granted, they've had a few
movies that have sucked, but I feel like some
of the more recent ones. Journals. Oh, man. They
could have done so much better with that one.
Dude, like, what mixture of drugs and bullshit?
was happening with that movie because at the
end of it the only good thing about it is they
introduced um what's his name the big guy um
galactus galactic thank you i thought it was
the other one is it galactus or is it the other
one that has the six eyes on the fucking oh you're
talking about the celestial so yes yes yes That
was the only good part. Also, I will say that
led into Moon Knight, which is a great fucking
series. I recommend watching it. Yes, it actually
was. That was one right along with Loki. That
was good, too. Loki was solid. But that was because
they learned from the mistakes of these other
shows and the movies, which is good. I'm glad.
But quite frankly, a lot of movies are looking
for a more adult audience. And a lot of kids
aren't watching movies as much or TV shows. That's
really YouTube dominates. the like basically
under 25 crowd on 24 crowd by a factor of like
a thousand to one it's not even close youtube
and tick tock but it's yeah but it's the same
theme every single time with all the ones that
we keep saying like this was good this was good
they did well because they were telling the story
they didn't care who they were putting into the
movie or what you know the message was they were
telling the story yeah that's why they did well
Yep. Yeah, so you asked, is everything just a
trailer now? It seems like most movies that come
out, they show the whole movie in the trailer,
and that's like all the best parts. I'm trying
to remember what movie it was. There was a movie
that they had a trailer for that once they were
done with the trailer, you didn't have to watch
the movie. You know what? I got to jump in my
soapbox. As much as I loved it, the Formula One
movie. If you watch the full trailer for it,
you already know the goddamn story. And as someone
that's an avid Formula One fan, I was pissed.
Because they should not have showed as much as
they did. So it drove me nuts because I was like,
great, I know what the fuck's going to happen.
Like for 90 % of it. But I've seen this with
so many movies, you're 100 % right, and I never
thought about that before. But they give way
too much away in the trailer. Way too much. Yeah.
When I walk away from a movie trailer and I'm
like... It looks interesting, but I have no freaking
idea what happened or what it's about. That's
what I like. Cause then it makes me go, you know,
should I watch this? You know, I'm interested
in it, but I have no fucking idea what they were
saying, but yeah, why not? Let's go watch it.
You know, now that you mention it, I feel like
movie trailers used to be 20 or 30 seconds, but
now they're like two or three minutes. yeah they
are like they use somebody if somebody in chat
can do a study and see what was the average movie
trailer time like 20 years ago versus now i bet
you to go from like 30 seconds to two minutes
yeah and that's the trailer trailers used to
be uh clips of only the first 30 minutes of the
movie they might show something in like the last
half hour or the last 45 minutes but they would
never show anything in like the last half hour
or or 20 minutes like none of the climax stuff
but you're seeing climax act uh stuff in trailers
now i think even with deadpool like the most
recent deadpool movie there were a lot of scenes
at the end of the movie that were in the trailer
yes i'm thinking about it yeah yeah yeah uh so
according to what i'm seeing most movie trailers
were generally increasing from a low in the 1980s,
but still typically around two and a half minutes.
The average might have been slightly longer in
the 90s than today, but now you're seeing it
stabilize above two minutes. You're not going
to find it unless it's one of those, oh, this
is the teaser trailer for the trailer. You're
not going to find a movie trailer under two minutes.
Are we differentiating because you've got commercials
as trailers or trailers that are commercials
like back in the old day of TV when we had commercials
during the shows and you'd see the trailer pop
up and the actual trailer trailer that you'd
see at the beginning of the movie before the
movie started and you'd get there 20 minutes
early so you could see the trailers. Well, here's
the thing. Like you have the television shows
or the television commercials. where you get,
like, a 10 -second blip of, hey, like, you know,
endgame. Okay, here's Tony Stark, here's, you
know, a couple other Avengers. Hey, Thor slams
down, and he's got Groot next to him, and boom,
Avengers endgame. You know, versus you get the
trailer where you almost get the whole story,
and you're watching it because, you know, you
get what I call, you know, the special effects
porn. Oh, yeah. You're watching it for the special
effects. You're not watching it for the story.
You have certain movies that are like that. You
know going in, the story sucks. But you want
to watch it for the special effects. I have two
observations. One from something you just said
that I did not realize. When you were talking
about differentiating between the TV shows and
commercials, particularly with the trailer, what
I did not factor in is nowadays, who the fuck
watches TV? everybody sees commercials that are
two or three minutes because they're either on
TikTok or Instagram or big trailers. The only
time I see advertisements for movies is the full
trailer, especially like I get it up on YouTube
or something like that, or I'll see, oh, this
trailer dropped and I'll watch it because I don't
think any of us actually watch TV. And even if
it's an, if it's a, um, like a commercial for
a streaming service, it's only ever for the movies
that are already on there, which case I will
have already seen an ad for it anyway. so i feel
like that's like a circular thing where you just
never see the short ones anymore yeah now i will
say that uh i went to my parents house recently
they don't pay for the non -commercial version
of prime oh i do so same i complain about you
know ads or advertising other stuff on prime
and i'm just like i'm paying for the ad free
version of prime i know it's on prime why do
i care to watch you know an advertisement for
this However, going over to my parents' house
and seeing the commercialized version of Prime,
I'm like, I now see what I'm paying for. And,
oh, my God, it's like television. And some of
the ads, you know, you could be like three, four
minutes long. It's insane. That's gross. Like,
we were watching, what movie was that movie called
where, you know, anything above a certain elevation,
aliens couldn't go. oblivion no not oblivion
it was a little recent one with uh the guy that's
now playing the new captain america he was falcon
uh -huh and the aliens you know showed up to
earth they started killing everybody but they
found out if they go above a certain elevation
aliens couldn't go that far don't think i saw
that one well we tried watching that movie where
i did and I swear it was like every 20 minutes
or so, all of a sudden, boom, commercials. And
I'm just like, you know, that $2, $3 a month
that I'm paying to not have commercials, totally
worth it. Yeah. Because if I saw the same woman
advertising Colgate toothpaste again, I was going
to punt the screen and just replace it with one
for my father. I was just getting irritated.
So, let me ask you this. Is big media sacrificing
standalone quality for continuous engagement
and franchise growth? Because we're seeing a
lot more small -scale stuff that's going to the
streaming services rather than to the theaters,
like you were talking about at the beginning
of the show. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's obvious.
You step in, Gibbs. My brain hurts just thinking
about this. It's okay. Take your time. It's not
even alcohol that's speaking. It's just straight
up like, oh, God. Where's the leak? It hurts.
It's in your brain. But no, I will agree that
it's quantity over quality at this point. And
if you notice, once COVID hit, the branch -offs
in the Marvel universe for all the different
TV shows, I haven't kept up with like half of
them. To be fair, it's because the beginning
of Hawkeye sucked and I couldn't get through
it. And I just never bothered to fucking finish
it. And I couldn't stand, what's her name? The
other one. I forget, whatever. But the point
is, I've seen that with a lot of different series.
Where, you know, they're just not putting in
the quality work. Because they're so used to,
at least content people will watch no matter
the quality. And unfortunately, a lot of people,
they just put shows on in the background. How
many people do you know will actually sit there
and only watch a TV show? A lot of people, they
have their phone on, they're scrolling through,
they watch in the background, they're cleaning
the house, they're doing something else. It's
just not, it used to be the active thing was
you would sit there and watch a movie and it
would have 100 % of your attention. Now I see
it as more of a background thing for a lot of
people. Yeah. And when I'm cooking, I'll YouTube.
Yeah. Music for me, for background stuff. I,
I, I've got that tism where if there's something
on and there's people doing things, I will watch.
So, uh, but that, that brings up another topic
in, in the entertainment stuff. Uh, the soft
reboot epidemic, um, why are studios constantly
returning to properties from 20 and 30 years
ago? Are they just out of ideas? Is it purely
financial or are they still trying to hit demographic
sweet spots that they can exploit? it's easy
you've already got the stories right now why
not you could just be in like a cartoon you could
just reanimate it to today's you know art style
yeah you know a little bit better graphics a
little bit better this little you know tweak
well a little bit hold on hold on the script
you you say that cgi is getting markedly worse
over the years Look at Transformers, like the
first Transformers movie. The CGI in that movie
was fucking chef's kiss. Now you look at the
movies that are coming out, it's garbage. Like
what happened? Did they forget how to CGI or
what? So I will say it peaked with the first
Avatar movie. I feel like that had... The first
Avatar movie. Oh, you mean the Blue People Avatar.
Blue People Avatar. Okay, yeah. I was going to
say, fanfic doesn't count. I watched that movie
so many times compared the second Avatar to the
first one. Just like a scene that spoke, that
just stuck out for me the most is when the animals
are running through the rainforest and James
Cameron has the camera show where they're hitting
the water and stuff. The first time that movie
came out, it was amazing. Comparing that to now.
You can literally see the delay where the animal's
hoof hits the water, nothing happens, and all
of a sudden there's a splash. From the new one?
Yeah, compared to the new one. The new one, oh
my god. That water effects is amazing. Especially
if you compare it to other movies and stuff.
He has that water effect on point. That, to me,
was... Interesting. Yeah. But if you compare
it to the first one, it's like night and day
difference. Yeah. Really? Maybe it was the screen
I was watching it on. Maybe it's because I have
like a regular, like I don't have an OLED or
anything that's like crazy. But to me, it didn't
look that much better. Yeah. I mean, there's
certain things that, yeah, okay. They probably
look the same, but I don't know. Just for me,
from my perspective, there was certain stuff
that from 20 years ago or however long it was
when the movie first came out, Yeah, it looked
amazing then because compared to everything else
out at the time, the effects were considerably
better. But then you compare it to the latest
Avatar, and then you compare the first one to
the second one, and it's like, oh, there's a
big difference. It's not as obvious if you don't
know what to look for. But if you're actually
breaking down the different scenes and stuff,
you can start kind of picking out different things
that it's like, oh. Well, that's kind of jumping
out at me. That doesn't look as good as it used
to. Just like I said, water effects, totally
upgrade. So then let me bring out the second
point that I was going to make, which is a lot
of people argue that the Pirates of the Caribbean
series has some of the best CGI ever done. But
you can argue that some of it isn't exactly photorealistic,
but it has a character to it. It has an interesting
quality where... It has a lot of detail, but
it doesn't overload you with detail. It looks
very pleasing to the eye. I guess my other point
was going to be there comes a point in CGI where
when it becomes so overly photorealistic and
detailed that it almost gives this uncanny valley
effect. Where like when you're looking at a person
regularly, you don't notice all the fine little
details in every pore and every little single
hair. It becomes to a point where there's so
much detail, it doesn't feel real. Whereas I
feel like in those movies, they focused on the
details that you're going to see, but they didn't
waste times on the things that you're not going
to see. And one of the things I'm noticing with
everything is they don't look at the main character
being detailed and kind of letting everything
else be background. It's almost everything all
the time is the character, which sometimes almost
becomes overloading in some of these action sequences
and screens where it's like. Jesus Christ, you
could go up to there and count like 97 million
pieces of hair in every character. It's like,
that's great. But if you're watching on a regular
TV, it doesn't matter. It's not going to show
anything. So I can't watch 4K stuff. Why? Because
it looks like, you know, back in the 60s where
they had like the little spaceships dangling
from strings and shit. And it looks like it was
superimposed over another video. That's what
it looks like to me. like most stuff in 4k that
i have seen it just looks especially when it's
like older stuff that's been brought up to 4k
watch independence day in 4k like the yeah the
the scene where he's flying the jet chasing the
ufo through the the canyon oh my god that scene
just looks like it's right out of a 60s flick
with the the string ships and stuff Well, yeah,
a lot of that was practical anyway, so. Yeah,
but I mean, a lot of the upscaled stuff, it's
impossible. Now, if you have a shot in IMAX made
for 8K OLED Ultra, tickle your balls with someone's
consoles, you know, that kind of screen, then
yes, it looks fucking amazing, but I don't have
a $25 ,000 TV. I have a $389 TV. You don't have
a $25 ,000 TV? What kind of American are you?
I know. I have a new projector that I paid like
$160 for that actually looks as good as my TV
upstairs. I'm like beside myself how good this
projector looks. Did you get this after we came
out the last time? No, it was here. We just didn't
use it. I used it last year when we were watching
Formula One. Yeah. Last year, y 'all had that
one, but this time I had just gotten it and we
just didn't do anything with it. Y 'all can do
that again. We'll use it next year. Cool. Here's
the best movie you could think of that would
take even today's standards. No, not porn. I
was going to say Jurassic Park. Oh, fuck yeah.
The first one? Yes. The way Spielberg did that?
It still holds up. You can put that against any
movie. Yeah. We're talking how long now? Jesus.
Yeah. And the way that was done with the CGI
and the puppetry and everything mixed. The physical
effects, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If they would just
do that now. It'd be scary. Right. All right.
So we'll get off the movies and stuff. A little
bit of news. And if you've noticed, again, I
put some shiny eyes on my microphone here. Someone
put googly eyes on some statues over in Oregon.
The question is, is it vandalism or visionary
art? Well, if you can take them down, if you
can take the googly eyes down, then it's not
painful. Yeah. It's still art. Yes. So now my
mic, as I have verbally abused this microphone
over the past year, it has seen some things,
as you can see by the expression. So a deep sea
death ball sponge eats animals. Scientists find
30 freaky species under Antarctica, including
a carnivorous sponge that rolls up like a tumbleweed
to munch on sea critters. That sounds kind of
terrifying because sponges aren't usually carnivores.
So Spongebob got hungry. Spongebob on bath salts,
basically. He's back on the menu. Yes. Honestly,
imagine... I don't think that's right, SpongeBob.
Imagine SpongeBob as like a serial killer that's
like a cannibal. Yeah, just imagine that in the
background. It's the hash -slinging slasher.
No, it's me. Careful, SpongeBob. They have no
one to... The only thing to fear in the night
is Spongebob. There's nothing to fear but me.
No, not Gary. Leave Gary alone. Oh, God. You
know, rewriting Spongebob is a horror film like
they did with Winnie the Pooh. I could get behind
that like 100%. Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. I said we
were getting off the AI and the movie shit. If
somebody could go and do AI -generated movies
with cartoons written as horror movies, I would
fucking watch them. Fuck. Well, you know, SpongeBob
was really supposed to be an adult show, so you
know about that, right? Oh, so like when you
watch Sandy give him a sponge job? A penny raid.
Yeah. What are you, a square old man crab? Yeah.
And then the last big article I've got is that
a giant floating pumpkin race in Oregon. This
is going to be Thanksgiving's weirder cousin
as crowds go nuts for a pumpkin regatta. Massive
gourds turned into boats capsizing into lakes
like edible Titanic. $20 tickets for vegetable
chaos. And on that, I do have a very terrible
dad joke I'd like to tell. Do you guys know what
the prettiest food for Thanksgiving is? The stumped
look on your face says no. It is, in fact, the
pumpkin. And that's because they're gorgeous.
Oh, my God. I like a dad joke. Oh, yes. I am
a terrible human being for that one. Gibbs. I'm
not going to try it with a response. I defy it.
Oh, you're welcome. I know it's horrible. It
was so bad. I could literally taste the disgust
of the air. Was it salty? Yes. Salt my fries
with it. I would have facepalmed so hard. My
palm would be five feet behind my face. But also,
so you're talking about there's like people are
hauling out pumpkins and stuff and floating them
down a river? Yes. How big are these pumpkins?
That's what I was going to ask. Like, how fucking
big are these pumpkins that you can fit some
average Americans in them? Because if they're
big enough to hold an average Walmart shopper,
my fucking God. To quote the offstage voice from
Deuce Bigelow. That's a huge bitch. Yeah. That's
a giant pumpkin. Is a pumpkin, because of the
oil with the shell, are they naturally waterproof?
Are they hydrophobic? And if so, do they make
a decent boat? We could get some and try it out.
Because if so, here's my question. Why doesn't
someone make a business just making big pumpkins
into boats? It's environmentally friendly. It
wouldn't last very long. Just cover them in wax.
Yeah. Coat the inside with like resin or something.
You know, if they last like a couple of weeks,
I mean, that'd be cool for like an event. I've,
I've seen, I did have. On this episode of Short
Bus Science, we're going to see how much wax
it takes to fully waterproof a pumpkin. Short
Bus Science. Oh, my God. Row, row, row your pumpkin
gently down the stream. Yeah. I have seen where
someone took a piece of pumpkin pie and encased
it in resin. So there's that. I've also seen
pumpkins in resin. Does resin perfectly preserve
something? It can, depending on how you do it.
Because resin will get hot, so you've got to
be careful how you do it. So it cooks the pumpkin.
Well, you also have to remember there's bacteria
on the objective when you put it in resin. So
unless you kill the bacteria, it's still going
to have that in the resin. So the bacteria is
still going to break down what's in there. So
you have to spray alcohol on it. Yes, you have
to sterilize it. Now, also with a pumpkin, you
might have to remove its guts and trade it like
a really rough date on a Friday night to get
it ready. What kind of dates have you been on
to call that a rough date? Organ harvesting.
He does organ harvesting. It gets good prices
for kidneys, apparently. When you're sitting
there digging the guts out of a pumpkin and the
girl's watching you and she's getting excited,
you just look over at her and you say, don't
worry, you're next. And she's like, ooh. You
know you're in for a great ride. That's called
trauma. I still have all my organs, though, okay?
That is trauma. That's a trauma response. That's
concerning. I've done a lot of things in life.
I feel like every week with you, I'm understanding
you a little bit more from more of a therapist
perspective, not just a friend. Why do you think
I don't go to therapy? I'm worried I'd get committed.
I'd be sitting there making a joke and laughing,
and they'd be sitting there like, hmm. And now
you know why the other branches of the military
make fun of the Navy. Oh, shit. And it's not
because we're trying to make fun of it. We're
just worried, but we don't know how to express
that worry. You know, all I can think about now
is do we have a pumpkin race where whoever can
build the best pumpkin boat wins? The problem
is how the fuck do you build a pumpkin or grow
a pumpkin big enough to be a boat? You get seeds
from a big pumpkin. You start there. but I don't
think it matters the size. We just have to stipulate
a few things. Like, how can it be propelled?
Sales. Damn. Or if you want to use electric,
you can. I don't need electric. You know, as
soon as you mentioned that, all I could think
is Nigel and Marmalade with the little fly blowing
through a straw so he can go down the shit river.
I want to make a rocket -powered pumpkin. Yeah,
it's going to fall apart. Have you not seen where
they launch pumpkins out of catapults? Yes, pumpkin
chunking. I can make a rocket -powered pumpkin,
okay? I mean, yeah, that's true. You just stick
a pumpkin on the top of a rocket and you yeet
it. But there's no... Yeah, it's the same principle
as taking a full -size skeleton and putting it
on a rocket and see what happens. I watched that
today. You take a corpse and shove a rocket up
his ass and put it on the water. See what happens.
That's a weird animal. For science. For science.
Yeah, to give someone a firework animal wasn't
on my Sunday list, but, you know. Jesus. Also,
we'll say pumpkin chunking is kind of a fun thing
to watch because of people screwing up. Yeah.
Uh -huh. Like the one where that came back and
knocked her right in the face. Oh, my God. That
would have required so much surgery and medical
attention, getting like a 10 -pound pumpkin.
I know. It was so bad. Wasn't that the watermelon
on the Great Race or whatever it was? It was
a watermelon. Something like that. Same difference.
That would still suck. So bad. But pumpkin chunker
is kind of cool because the big air cannons they
would use and shit in the other catapults. Oh,
yeah. It's something that would spin up to like
several hundred RPM. It was like a five or six
foot long arm. That's terrifying because when
you know a bunch of rednecks are building, it's
not like they used anything called a protractor
measuring tape. They're just kind of, yeah, free
will with a welder and a scrapyard. They're like,
let's fucking send it. Like there's no... Junkyard
wars, but for rednecks. Yeah. God. You know what?
Now that you mention it, I have not seen that
on TV or anywhere like in years. Well, they took
junkyard wars off because it was giving people
too many ideas. Hence, Killdozer. You know. Killdozer
predates Junkyard Wars. I know. I know. All right.
That was all the topics that we had. I knew this
was going to be a short episode tonight. It was
not. I don't know. We did pretty well. It was
not a short episode. Well, we had a lot of shenanigans
beforehand. Yeah, well, valid. But still. when
do we not the problem is if you get all three
of us talking it's never a short episode i didn't
do noodles and nips before we went live that's
why we fucked things up oh we can't do them now
now you're fucking up even worse oh shit yeah
it's uh i still can't believe the next week is
a year Yeah. That blows my mind. We made it a
year with no bans, no strikes, no warnings, nothing.
I know. And I still have been pulling shit out
of the bag and traumatizing you weekly almost.
Well, it's a pretty big bag. It's bigger than
Santa's. That's the eternal bag of holding. Let
me show you my eternal bag of trauma. Yeah, it
should be awesome. You call it mental illness.
I call it depression. I call it living. So, yeah,
we're hoping the next week's episode is really,
really fun. it should hopefully the the biggest
issue is that we're going to have a companion
video for it uh the episode itself shouldn't
be that hard um but if getting the video is going
to be harder than getting some older guy pumped
full of viagra to perform but we can still get
it get it done and get it uh put together for
y 'all what i'm just one of these days We're
going to have to set a challenge for you to not
mention any genitalia for an entire episode.
And I want to watch your head just impossible.
Yeah. Impossible. His head will explode. Do you
remember being with somebody when they weren't
allowed to laugh for the entire school day? That'll
be me. Yes. Whoops. I hit my microphone. Yeah.
So anything else we need to get out there? I
swore I would never do this, and I think it's
about time that we might have to start doing
this and start trying to whore ourselves out
a little bit. We're getting to that point. Maybe
start having people liking, sharing, doing the
subscribing thing. I trust people that they know
how to do the internet, but I'd love to see some
more growth. I'd love to hear about some more
engagement. I'd like to see. More interaction
on the Discord and on the socials. So, you know,
interaction helps manage growth. Also, we have
some new things coming probably this week that
are not normal channel things. We're going to
try to kind of stick our appendages into other
holes and see how it goes. We'll... don't give
me that look i can give you a look any look i
fucking want to it's a disappointment look that
i used to get it's it's just the problem is my
default look for you is disgust and bewilderment
so it's just like the default appendages and
other things oh my god yes so uh hopefully you
guys uh like what we have coming up and um we'll
just take it from there and keep on uh keeping
on and getting you guys some interesting shows
and topics. So anything else, guys? No, I'm good.
No, I'm just still getting it all in. It's a
lot for me to digest over here. Oh, you're going
to take it all in. Don't you dare. No, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's nasty. All
right. We're going to get off here. I'm going
to traumatize Gibbs some more. So you guys, thanks
for hanging out. Thanks for sticking around.
And as always, we'll see y 'all next time.