Join us on Now We Consume.
Take in the knowledge, take in the laughs, indulge in the topics with us.
The Now We Consume podcast will take you through the parts of your day you normally dread.
Why suffer through the existential crisis of life alone when you can do it with us?
And Now We Consume.
This is not meant to be a conspiracy episode or podcast, but we may cover some topics that
dance that line like a toddler dances on their mother's last nerve.
The podcast is rated I for immature audiences only.
Hey everyone, welcome back to Now We Consume.
Tonight we're going to be talking about a very fun topic going all the way back from
something that started out as an ancient pagan festival, has become one of the most corporatized
issues in American history.
We'll be talking about the Valentine's Day Massacre, the love and dollars that are spent
on showing that love and how people have started dating and changed the dating habits, going
from meeting their significant others via friends, family, school and work, church through
coworkers and now to online and dealing with the issues of dating and all the inherent
dumpster fire that is the dating world today.
Gibbs, say hi.
Hello.
It's going to be a fun one tonight, man.
Oh yeah, just a little bit to talk about, just a little bit.
Yeah, this, this is one that you and I have had in reserve.
Kind of keeping it on the back burner to find the right time to talk about it.
Oh yeah.
We felt with Valentine's Day coming up this coming weekend, this was going to be the time
to go ahead and drop this one.
Absolutely, this is something that we, this is a topic that we've discussed even before
we ever had the podcast and before we ever really did anything media wise.
It's been an ongoing conversation we've had for years to actually probably darn near a
decade at this point.
So yeah, this is not new to us.
And if anything, it's given us some time to finally really research and dive into some
of the stuff and really have a full full length conversation.
It's not, that's not like only five or 10 minutes.
Yeah.
Okay, before we get started, we felt the need to go ahead and drop a bit of a disclaimer.
In this episode, we will be discussing the dating issues between straight couples only.
Neither myself or Gibbs are a part of any other orientation.
And while we recognize there are and will be obvious difficulties within other cultures
for dating, we do not have the experience needed to discuss them.
And we will not be making that attempt tonight.
Exactly.
So, to start it off, I would like to just go ahead and point out that thanks to the
wonderful world of dating apps, I have learned through personal experience, it is a dumpster
fire.
And that is why Tinder has made their logo a flame.
That app is the literal cesspooliest dumpster fire of society.
Have you just thought about using a better app?
Yes, I have tried a lot of them and they all suck equally, but that's probably the worst.
You're not wrong though.
No.
Meeting people online is hell.
Given my inherent work life balance, it is like most people, my best chance at meeting
somebody.
For those who are listening, yes, surprisingly, or unsurprisingly, depending on how well you
know me, at the current time, I am single.
Meeting people is hell.
I've met some great people through the years.
I've met some people who I thought might stab me in my sleep.
Surprisingly, I'm still alive.
How about you?
You know, it's a very difficult thing to navigate.
And as we discuss further in this, there's reasons why things are actually far more difficult
now than they used to be in terms of dating.
In a different way, there are obviously some other difficulties that they used to have
that are not the case today.
But overall, I don't know anybody that really enjoys the whole process.
I mean, I have to be honest, I got very lucky in my situation.
You did.
It made a wonderful relationship and everything worked out.
But until this one, oh yeah, yeah.
It was not it was not enjoyable.
I was not recommended.
Yeah, no, you you got lucky, man.
And oh yeah.
And I'll say, I've I've been married twice.
My first marriage was what six ish years and my second one was we were together for 13
years.
It's not like I'm incapable, but do the the the current mindset of people.
It's so vastly different.
Well, that's the biggest shift in the last probably 40, 50 years or really, really, not
that old.
15.
I'm not saying like it's really technology that has changed a lot of this.
You know, once the telephone was invented, once you had cars, once you could travel,
then really once television became a thing and media and then eventually now the huge
thing was the Internet.
What's happened with humanity is your your potential dating pool has constantly expanded.
It used to be the local town or village.
Then it was once we kind of became more civilized, came your local local town, the city, maybe
even you used to be exposed to maybe a few hundred people.
Then it was a few thousand people.
Then it was maybe tens of thousands of people.
Then we had cars that was possibly hundreds of thousands of people.
And now really ever since that 2005 2010 range when Internet dating started to become a thing.
Now it's you.
There's no limit.
You can be exposed to every single person on the planet.
And what's terrifying is that dating pool means that in a good way, odds are you can
find somebody.
The bad news is everybody thinks that they deserve their their prince or princess in
terms of having everything they could ever possibly.
They think that they loaded up to like a shopping cart.
You know, it's like, oh, yeah, I want this, this, this, this, this, this and this click.
And they think that's how it works.
It's a very distorted reality.
Whereas it used to be you meet someone through someone, you know, or through your local area
workplace.
And if you hit it off, you did or you didn't.
You didn't.
You know, granted, I didn't really, you know, partake in that as much before.
But you get what I'm saying.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
It was far more by happenstance.
It really was people that were local to you.
Therefore, odds are they shared the culture and the ideas and ideals and values.
Whereas now a lot of people, I think, you know, date sometimes even far beyond their
local area or culture, which even presents its own problems or issues.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
And when you when you brought up the exposure to the entire planet, I was going to say,
what are they called now?
Visa bros or green card passports?
That's what it is.
Yeah.
The fact that people are so sick of the dating pool in their area, they're literally going
out of the country to find somebody that more lines up with what they're looking for, kind
of says something about I don't know if it's their local dating pool or the American ideals
of dating in general.
Oh, I think I'm sorry, you know, I was let's be real.
It seems like God don't put me on a stake for this.
It seems like the vast, vast majority of women, I'm putting air quotes, seem to have horribly
unrealistic expectations for what they feel like they either should be getting or looking
for in the men they're dating.
You know what?
Let me put a caveat that I would say most people, regardless either way.
Yes, I also know.
I will.
I know a lot of guys that are fucking delusional.
We know.
I know a lot of women that are fucking delusional.
We know one guy in particular.
Yes.
But but I actually I would say even outside of that, I know quite a few that Jesus Christ,
what are they thinking?
Yeah, it's it's the problem of when you have a society that everybody's so self centered,
they feel like that they are a 10 when they have nothing to offer.
Yeah.
And they feel like they deserve the best.
And unfortunately, the reality is like everybody has to compromise.
Everybody has some things going on.
And the reality is, I guess a lot of people assume they want to have this quote unquote
Facebook or Instagram or social media perfect quote unquote relationship.
But they're not looking for the values beyond that.
Oh, yeah.
Social media has done more to ruin dating and in fact, people's lives than I think anything
else that's come out of society in the last hundred years.
Oh, yeah.
100 percent.
100 percent. I think that's the problem.
It's the shallow nature that people are looking for now rather than establishing somebody
that you know, you can love and appreciate.
I guess I guess one of the greatest bits of advice I ever given to me when I was younger
was try to find a date, somebody that you admire, not just that you're attracted to,
not just that you love or whatever be around, but somebody you can actually look to in an
up to for some things for certain different aspects.
And on that, I go.
Sorry.
Go ahead.
Finish.
No, I don't just say that.
That is that is something that I see a lot of people.
And again, I'm no dating expert.
I'm not trying to say that to build off what you said, not just somebody that you admire,
somebody that you would be proud to have your kids dating as well.
If the person you're with, if you can smile at them and say, I hope my kids end up with
somebody like this someday.
Yeah.
That tells you you're with somebody good.
Yeah, because the thing is, your children are going to have part of their values and
their reflection as well.
So you know, would you be proud of that person if parts of them were in your children?
And for a lot of people, they don't think that through.
But to be fair, I think a lot of people don't think the relationship passed more than five
minutes from now, 10 minutes from now.
Yeah.
It's like, am I getting fed or am I getting fucked?
OK, that's cool.
Like a lot of people don't look past the next Instagram post.
So I know.
Oh, there's some people I know that do the weird thing, which I don't get it where they
date a new person every like 30 minutes.
It's like, oh, but this person, they post all the bunch of pictures and everything.
They're like, oh, three months later, I'm not feeling it.
They just walk away.
I'll never understand that.
That I will never get.
No.
I think as far as the dating world is concerned, men, by and large, have the biggest uphill
battle and OK, yes, call me biased.
But I feel that women, especially women who are viewed as pretty and beautiful, are on
easy mode in life.
They can literally get to pick whoever they want to talk to or go home with if that's
what they're doing for the night.
They can sell pictures and videos of themselves doing literally anything from next to nothing
to full on porn.
And they get the run of the sights.
But we'll say they can sell the clothes right off their body.
To the biggest and loneliest of the sims out there.
They can sell feet pics, bath water, fuck, even jars of farts.
There is not one man on earth that can do those things.
I'm not going to disagree with you on that.
You're absolutely right.
I guess it's one of those things where people don't understand is kind of there's this dating
thing.
I actually watched a bit of a documentary on this about a year ago about dating preferences
and dating value and stuff like that.
There's this weird thing where men hit kind of their peak to plateau.
They peak up right around like 23, 25 and they stay there almost for most women until
they're about 50 or 55 and they drop off.
Okay, you had me worried there for a second.
Women have this.
Typically in the dating world for a lot of women, they don't really care how much older
a guy is because that's just that's just how women are.
Let's be real.
And unfortunately, the data provides that if someone's telling me, well, that's not
my preference.
Cool.
That's you.
So, you know, for most men, it's it right around that 25, 24, 25 and then they're basically
plateau until they're about 55, 50.
Whereas with women, it's this sharp peak between 21 to 28 and then it drops down a bit till
about 34, 33, even 35 and then it just falls hard.
And unfortunately, how how does that reflect?
Well, that reflects in a lot of younger women being able to get attention very quickly,
getting money very quickly and also with men's, I guess, peak attraction for being so long.
Look at the men like, oh, God, what's that actor?
Those trades in the 24 year old chicks.
Leo.
Yes.
They are DiCaprio.
Look at someone like him.
Someone who's got he's probably 50 now.
Fifty five, 50.
Yeah, he's in his 50s.
That's for sure.
Yeah.
But he trades him in like they're going out of style for whatever reason.
And there's always another woman lined up.
There's always someone else that that's ready to take his money.
That's that's exactly what they're there for.
And that's one of the things I think a lot of people don't understand.
They look at a skewed reality where there are many people out there that are willing
to date just for the culture and the experience that surrounds that person.
And that's one of the things where, unfortunately, a lot of women do date guys up for the the
culture and kind of the what they can provide around them, whereas a lot of men will date
younger, pretty women for also what is provided there to not just, by the way, any sort of
intimacy, but also it's for the social status among other people.
It sometimes even as a justification of themselves or kind of reinforces their own self worth.
You know, I've met guys that just try to date the prettiest woman just because they can.
It's kind of a show of force.
It's a show of, oh, you know, hey, look at me.
I'm so quick at the person.
It's like, yeah, but she could be a total bitch.
But not a lot of don't care because they've got that arm trophy.
And that's their goal.
It's this weird parasitic relationship where you have women that say there's some women
that say, oh, my God, all these guys suck.
But yet they're going after guys simply because they have the money.
Be it and vice versa.
Those guys that say, you know, all women are blah, blah, blah, blah, or whatever.
And but they're only going after them as a trophy wife.
And the weird thing is they wrote it for everybody else surrounding them.
They create this weird parasitic relationship that just defeats the entire purpose and unfortunately
destroys everyone else around them.
Why?
Because, oh, inevitably they always bring in their friends or they say, oh, this person's
crap.
This person's crap.
I've seen it happen.
And it's oh, yeah, it's absolutely disgusting.
But what gets me is both of these types of people, they continue doing it.
If you don't want these kind of people, if you don't want these kind of crappy people
are taking advantage of women, taking advantage of men, taking advantage of their money or
taking advantage of their youth.
Stop dating them.
Stop supporting your friends, dating them.
I would be honest.
I have gotten rid of male friends of mine because they were weird with women.
I've told them absolutely the fuck not.
And I've walked away from them.
And I had absolutely zero remorse.
And same thing vice versa.
I had had female friends of mine that were trying to decass.
It was like, well, I don't really like him, but I mean, he has money.
It's like, yeah, but then you're using him and he's using you like as long as you're
honest with it.
If someone told me, you know, I don't really know what I want, but at least they have money.
So whatever it's like, OK, at least you're being honest.
But lying about something like that to say, oh, well, I love them so much.
But they but they say, oh, yeah, they have all this money.
All this.
It's like, well, that's the justification.
That's your reason to say, oh, you want to be with that person because they give you
that experience, culture, exposure, travel, whatever you want, which again, if that's
what you're into, fine.
But don't go blaming people or blaming other people or lumping everybody into that faction
saying, oh, all men or all women.
No, because then you sound like an idiot.
You sound like somebody that is not well cultured, that somebody that has not taken anything
like that into consideration and really haven't seen exactly the different kind of relationships
that are out there.
Therefore, there are some relationships that sometimes are very financially driven for
both sides.
Oh, yeah.
And that's perfectly fine, too, as long as both sides come out, come to an understanding.
Yeah.
If they agree to that up front, then yes, that's totally fine.
Yeah, absolutely.
That's not a problem at all.
Or vice versa.
There are many relationships that start with neither one of them have anything and they
build something together and that's wonderful and that's awesome.
But there is this problem of this inequity issue where there's a lot of men that statistically
have to earn more than the women they're dating or else they're invisible, essentially.
So with women earning more and more every year and actually for the first time the last
couple of years, women on average between I think it was like twenty one to thirty earn
more than men.
So a lot of them are dating older guys or they're trying to date way higher up in the
higher social hierarchy and trying to date guys that make a lot more money.
You're talking, you know, a girl from out in the middle of nowhere trying to date a
guy that's in Hollywood making three or four hundred thousand dollars a year.
And then here comes the question.
Well, if that's your social expectation, if you think, wow, I am, you know, just your
average person from out in the middle of nowhere, you know, maybe you have some sort of degree,
but it's an associate's or whatever.
Maybe don't have a lot going on.
You know, 40,000 a year.
And you think just by being somewhat attractive, you're going to pull somebody make a three
hundred thousand dollars a year from L.A. What are you nuts?
And then you get mad when that person uses you for some fun for three or six months.
It's like, well, yeah, sure, what they did was shitty, but you're also not being realistic
either.
So then what happens?
I've seen this happen where there's someone to get used by three, four or five guys and
like, oh, well, all guys suck.
And then they end up with some guy that's abusive or something or something that goes
happen.
I don't even know.
I've seen it go many ways.
And the problem is great.
So now you're using trauma to justify more trauma, to create that vicious cycle.
And then unfortunately, if they ever have kids, then the kids are back on that trauma
merry go round again.
Yep.
So sorry about the little rant there, but like I've just I've seen it happen so many
times.
And I think that's why for me, I was very, very particular about what I wanted in a relationship.
I was very deliberate and very honest upfront.
And that's why it worked out for me, because I knew my standards.
I knew what I expected of both myself and my partner.
And it's worked out wonderfully.
But I know that's not the same for everybody.
But I think for an individual, you have to know what you expect, what you want.
And you have to hold yourself accountable to because it's so easy for people to kind
of let things go and not take care of your side, not do the stuff you have to do.
And we all have our our like our stuff happen, stuff that happens in life.
You know, I get that.
But hold yourself to it.
Do the best you can and also talk about stuff, not for nothing, but nothing.
Anything can be fixed in a relationship.
As long as you don't cheat, you're probably pretty, pretty OK.
Right.
And, you know, you mentioned cheating.
That kind of brings up one of the biggest issues with a lot of the relationships that
go on and go down today is it's just too easy for people to cheat, especially if they've
got that in them.
You know, the the access and the availability of the potential for new relationships is
so prevalent and people can, you know, hide stuff easy and they can talk to people and
meet people and make fake profiles and all this other bullshit.
It's so easy if you're inclined for it.
And it's it ruins people.
It ruins relationships and then it sours people that are affected by it.
So and I guess what the ease today that it would be to have can't lead to double life
or kind of to only show the side that you want to show.
It's very easy to have a facade, basically, or have a fake image that you can get someone
to follow you, a fall over for you.
And then they come to find out that's not the real you.
And also cheating like it's crazy.
The stories I've heard from people about dating someone for a year or two or whatever.
And then they find out, oh, yeah, they just installed a dating app or something like that.
And I guess they're cheating on me for a while and they found this other person they they
leave and all of a sudden they think, oh, the grass is greener without even discussing
anything.
And then they realize, oh, this person was lying the whole time.
Like, well, yeah, not for nothing.
If anybody's willing to actively date somebody when they're already dating somebody else
and okay with them cheating, they're probably not a good person.
No.
And you know, that just kind of Zoid broke into my head here for a second.
The prevalence of open relationships, poly and an EMM ethical non monogamy.
What the actual fuck is all of that shit?
I mean, people are OK with getting spit roasted with their next door neighbor now.
What the fuck?
Some some there's actually I follow somebody on Tiktok because I just find it very interesting,
not something I partake in.
But there are people that like join specific communities like living communities that they're
like a swinger community.
That's what they do.
Oh, my God.
I know.
If that's your thing, like whatever.
But what's I mean?
Sure.
I'm going to go to the barbecue and hey, there's Pam.
Let's grab Greg.
But whatever.
I will say, at least in my experience, again, being in my early 30s, I do know many couples,
not just a handful, but many that are open in some way, which I do find odd because again,
I wasn't around 50 years ago, but or even 30.
Well, I was technically, but doesn't really matter.
But I wasn't around long enough to go to know really the difference.
But I've noticed in the last 10 years, at least of my adulthood, that like it seems
like either people just don't care anymore, which like, cool, whatever you do your thing.
But a lot of people I know that are very open with it and sometimes a very kind of disgusting
way.
Uh huh.
Like, you know, I'm not against PDA, but like, let's let's have some boundaries here, buddy.
Yeah.
It's like, hey, I usually have to go on the internet for what I'm seeing here.
Yeah.
Well, it's just uncomfortable.
What's in public spaces to like, it's one thing I don't care if you're like a secluded
part like a movie theater or something that you do.
I really don't care.
I'm pretty easy going.
But now hold on.
When you're in a movie theater and and you're watching your show, you you you don't need
to be hearing, you know, this in the seat behind you.
That's that's just too much.
Yeah.
The problem is, you know, we've always heard some Gluck Gluck 9000 go on and like someone
is she that lady was proud that there was no shame in that.
That's what you just turn around and give the guy a high five.
But but again, like like people have their fun and that's cool.
And you know, as long as it's consensual, whatever you do, you.
But there does get a lot of weirdness when it comes to at least I've noticed there's
a there's a lot of people, I guess, that have this fear of commitment, I guess.
The fear of seeing a relationship, you know, from beginning to end are like trying to work
on stuff, trying to work things out.
The minute it gets difficult, there's a lot of people who are just like, they're done.
Well, like, yeah, exactly.
They just walk away.
They're like, oh, I guess I'm done with it.
It's like, well, why are you there?
Yeah.
Throwaway mentality, replacement mentality is so prevalent.
No one's willing to fix things.
No one's willing to work on it.
You know, we we've talked about that with like right to repair and we're going to do
an episode on that eventually.
You have to be able to fix things in order to keep them around.
That's not only true for the physical things in your life, but the emotional stuff, too.
And I would argue if you do your due diligence and find someone that's worth dating, they
are worth working through on things and discussing things and having those hard, you know, difficult,
difficult discussions.
Oh, 100 percent.
And there's a lot of stuff in a relationship that like things get uncomfortable.
Sure.
But I guess I would argue.
Especially when you slip.
Catch that back end at the wrong time.
I felt so bad.
I accidentally you ever those things are like like like you're trying to move around a bed,
but you're not aware of where you are near the edge, where you are.
I totally accidentally like mid forearm was trying to move a bobtail in the nose last
night.
I felt so bad.
I didn't realize she was like right there next to my face.
So I try to come from like, I want to flip over.
I just look back.
Or what's worse, you're trying to turn over or something and you don't realize their hair
is where it is and you end up yanking the hair off their scalp, waking them up out of
a dead sleep.
God, I feel so bad.
Oh, yeah.
That's as I have learned, bed logistics is a real thing.
What is it?
Got to be a bed logistics.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
That's that's what honestly, we're probably going to king mattress because like as much
as the queen is nice, like after we at the hotel, then I'm like, wow, we really need
a king because my our problem is we both like to sleep diagonal.
On the bed.
So it becomes the weird problem of I slowly get inched off at some point and then I just
end up on the floor and I admit defeat.
But then if I let it go far enough, I can get back on.
So it's this kind of weird game of chicken of like, you know, how far I let her snuggle
up against the heat.
That's like, OK, you're out of my way.
But anyways, besides the point.
Yeah.
Can I just say women are amazing and wonderful creatures just because of the shit they put
up with from us.
Oh, yeah.
I think I think it goes both ways.
I definitely think that goes both ways.
So so to a lot of people.
But you know, that's.
Oh, yeah.
But oh, but but definitely with that, with that.
I know we've harped on it, but with that throwaway mentality.
Yeah.
For a lot of this stuff, it's such a serious issue that and again, I know inversely in
the past, sometimes some couples will see together in an unhealthy way because they
wouldn't want to let it go.
And I do feel like that we're kind of at the opposite end of that spectrum right now, whereas
I know, God, I know, I know some older boomer couples that like, Jesus, they were about
three seconds away from killing each other at any one time.
Mm hmm.
Yeah, they were two seconds later.
Story.
The staying together for the wrong reasons is often worse than anything else.
I mean, those relationships need to end far sooner than they typically do when they do
end.
Oh, yeah.
Well, that's why, like, especially when there's kids involved.
Oh, yeah.
That's a whole level of complexity.
But you haven't got to experience that yet.
No, no, no.
Especially not in this economy.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, you don't to **** dare.
Don't you dare.
If I get that phone call in the next couple of months, I'm going to child with your balls.
OK?
No.
You got me off track.
I lose track what I'm trying to do.
I'm, I'm scrolling over here.
Oh, God.
Yes, okay. Nope, I lost it again. Thank you. All you think was just bad juju. That's all I could think of.
Bad juju.
Oh my God. We are staying together for the wrong reasons. Yes. So, definitely for kids that that's something that that's
that I haven't really had to experience with that yet.
But that's definitely something that like as long as you discuss and make sure you have the same values, the same morals, the same
goals in a relationship and you want to end up in the same place and are willing to do the same things to get there
they feel you'll avoid a lot of this stuff and be able to kind of keep on the same track, you know,
but I I guess if I could have a little like a tiny little like two minutes set like like a 30 second
so I would be like my advice would be
just your morals your values your goals have the hard discussion ask details
expectations is a big one to make sure expectations are in line for both partners both sides or if you're in a poly relationship
as many sides that are applicable, but
No, don't think he'd room exactly all that. Yeah, that'd be a messy bedroom
but
Just ask Bonnie blue
Okay, the fact that okay. Well, let's have let's have a slight aside because I feel I feel like someone like her sure
There's not many women that are gonna look up to it long story short for the audience
Bonnie blue was a only fans creator. That's like a porn star
Whatever that that slept with like a thousand eighty seven women or something like that in men and a few hours
She now she has a thousand men in 12 hours to be fair. They're using
slept with fast and loose on that one because I don't think that counts
I'm sorry
If if a guy told me something the girl it was last exactly 12 seconds
I I don't think that counts, but hey sometimes, you know, you're just feeling it and the excitement stare
Yeah, then she won't be feeling it. That's the problem you that that talk about one stand Jesus the one night
You know it they were they were literally using the loosest terminology to what counted and
Yes, a thousand men in 12 hours
What's crazy?
I would not want to be the last guy it's like pulling apart a girl
She told you sandwich at that point. Uh-huh. Just well, anyways, sorry
Oh my god, that's no longer spicy. Oh my god. I
Could not imagine
The person that has to get hired to come in
Who is the person that has to get hired to clean the room that's my problem somebody with a fire hose
Do they just build a shed to do that they just burn it burn it that's
But what I was getting at is it's interesting that we've reached a point in I
guess the
hyper sexuality of people to where they're basically doing online competition between
These porn stars essentially who could do them the craziest things. I remember a few months ago
It was like somebody's up a 400 or 300 and then 500 and seven
For some reason and this this is kind of the depravity of man. This is something that's actually happened before
historically
When heated is it kind of becomes a very big thing in society?
You can look at even like Roman culture and Greek culture
To where the depravity becomes so ridiculous
after a time the
I guess you could say
the
not not the refutation, but the
absence of
Morality, I don't say morality in like a religious sense, but more kind of a cultural sense
Mm-hmm becomes so prevalent that people start doing some really weird stuff just to get noticed and
It becomes the I guess the media attention-based
The I guess the media attention becomes more valuable than the act itself
Which becomes really concerning?
Because you look at how how many men and women
Or so I guess boys and girls, but how people growing up are gonna be watching those videos thinking
That is any any anywhere anywhere close to the norm. Oh
Anywhere close. I think that's one of the problem and unfortunately a lot of young men and some women
but a lot of young men need to understand and I think this where I've take a slight detour the
Huge problem that pornography has on the dating zone
because it is an extreme fringe and
Exceedingly not the norm because while social media has a tight grip on a lot of women when it comes to dating
It's pornography that is a lot of tight grip on young men when it comes to dating
You know a lot of young men need to understand that that is all of it 100% a fantasy
Right. That is not how the real world works. Sure. You might get a girl like some fun stuff, you know
I see. Oh cool. We get to recreate some of stuff great. That's awesome good for you, but
These situations and how things happen and all that kind of stuff
No, that is not how the real world works
You 100% will not get somebody paying for their pizza like that. I
Hope not
Or so there'd be a lot more people lying up to be pizza boys
I don't know right that would be the best job in America. No porn puts out a lot of
unrealistic scenarios
Like for most people actually having sex. I respect that's a
It was interesting I actually saw um, so I watch
If you ever heard of the podcast called the whatever podcast I find it interesting
Because typically it'll be a couple of guys and they bring on a bunch of women that are either media influencers
Expose. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah in what I like hearing is with a lot of talk about like yeah
We definitely a lot of them even say like oh, yeah
We definitely take advantage of men. None of us are responding to those guys. We're all taking advantage of them
We're leading them to think
They can pay on only fans and respond to these guys and get these special videos
And turns out all you're talking to is other dudes that they've hired to respond to dudes or worse AI
Well that that's the other thing is how many of them now with how good AI is getting?
Especially there are some of them that are running a little porn houses essentially for all those only fans creators
It's gonna devolve into a fantasy that is so beyond reality that
Some men won't know what to do with a real person
Mm-hmm. So some men don't know what to do with a real person now. So you're you're already at that bridge
Well, it's interesting. So I I had a friend of mine. I cannot say
How I know this person but a friend of mine through a friend of mine
Basically and somebody came to me for help was like hey, I know someone who they try to date a woman and
It turns out they had watched so much pornography that they could not perform the act
Physically incapable physically incapable
Okay, which I will I will admit for a minute. I laughed I will be honest, but then I sat there thinking I was like
Wow, that that never actually occurred to me
That someone could watch that much and actually that that is what they view intimacy as
That that is their way of doing that because they wired their brain ever since they were a kid
watching it
Which if you have children that are watching unfortunately with the way phones are in the internet is I mean got someone start when they're 12
Watching that kind of stuff 12 14
Like it's scary. Look, I even remember when high school like I was in middle school just before
Smartphones came out and kids are finding ways around stuff all the time at school to watch
Well, I mean back in my day we had magazines. So it's been accessible for you know decades
Yeah, and I mean back in the days of
What as far back is like the the turn of the millennia?
They had stone carvings on walls that guys would would slap their hand candles, too
But the difference before was at least then it was all pictures
Whereas now this is 3d interactive even VR was just gonna become kind of a sure augmented reality stuff
I
Worry that we're gonna see an entire generation of young men, which I think we're already kind of seeing
that are not gonna know how to interact or vice versa a
lot of large generation of women that also
Don't know how to interact with men
Well a very basic level on on the other side of that token thanks to daddy Elon here in the next few years
You won't have to worry about interacting with people. You can just go fuck a toaster here in a little while
You know, I really dislike
Where that's going
All you have to do is set one thing for one to a zero and now your dick is ripped off in the middle
And now your dick is ripped off and throwing against the wall
Like I do understand I bet you there are some men and some women
that would rather just have the act done and they go on with their life and I
Understand I will never be able to empathize but I understand well, how I think a lot of it comes down to
It's just the interaction with the other person that they don't want to deal with
Maybe there's been trauma. Maybe there's been abuse. Maybe there's just been
so much
Abrasiveness between people
Social anxiety. I mean, yeah, there's a plethora a
Little cornucopia. I'll drop some big words tonight. Fuck you. I feel good
There's just been a lot of issues between people that have driven them to the point
I would rather just fuck a robot than deal with an actual human being
Let me get that nut and just go back to my life
And I'll just hose it out in the sink and shame
Just put in the visual there
Why do I have the photo of just like you look over your neighbor and they're on their porch with their fuck talk on
Hey, oh, yeah, just hose it out the wife, you know
Girlfriend shit is full
And for some people I feel like that is a valid option I understand that I
Would not judge someone if that's like that's the perfect school, whatever
What concerns me is?
Is what if we have a generation of people that do that not because it's by choice
But because that's what all they that's all they have
If that is either the coping mechanism or that's just the easy way out
Whatever because in the workplace in the real world men and women have to be able to get along and have to be able to talk
socialize and
If you end up end up world where if you end up in a world we are so segregated
Along a gendered line like that
Because men and women can't communicate because all the merch going home to their their fuck bought nine thousand
And you know handle a business
How segregated will the world really be?
You know at some point you're gonna end up with some serious issues
Because as much as you know some people like to say certain things or whatever
Both sides kind of need each other you know regardless of what you think regardless of what you do
You know I there are very few instances in life. I can think of where it's just like one
Certain group of people does 100% of everything
Yeah, it does life does not continue that way no yeah, we have lab techniques that
Can make sure that the species will survive
Sure, you know life
finds a way
But no we we have
Gone millions of years
developing the process as it were and
You can't just keep doing that with robots unfortunately
Well knowing that but I I would wonder how much effort would people put into raising quote-unquote their kids if they did not have
That genetic connection because I'm not saying that you always need the genetics. That's not the case. Well. That's the classic nature version nurture
But it is a component of
Of knowing from both the parents that like oh, yeah, that is our genetic offspring that does play a factor
It's not the biggest factor
But it is a part of it
And I guess I would worry about you know if let's just say eight generations from now
You know this kind of trend continued
You know would we enter a world to where only the wealthy only certain people get to have children or you know?
Do you enter a world where it's actually more uncommon to have children than not?
Um you know what just touching on that as a sidebar
I do think there should be some requirements for people to have children
Maybe an IQ test
Maybe it's well, okay, okay, otherwise we get idiocracy
Yes, cuz unfortunately the nature of it is most of the people in the lower end of the IQ system have like eight to thirty seven children
And and the smart ones have one I know maybe maybe one I
Would say maybe less of an IQ test, but maybe more of a
requirement to your children to be able to things like you have a
Consistent job you have a way to support yourself and enough extra money to support a child
I do have in terms of a small little thing. I have an idea
It's kind of a litmus test
It's slight. It's a slight aside, but hear me out on this one. I
Believe you and I I don't know if we spoke about this in another podcast, but if you put away
Like ten thousand dollars this was not a podcast. This was just a rant that we had the okay
Well this I want to talk about I want to see people's reaction to this one because I think I solved
Retirement plans and everything else for most most all Americans
Follow me on this one we can do away with Social Security. Yes, that's my goal cuz fuck the government, but the idea is
In order for you to be able to have a kid
You have to put away of $5,000 and the US government puts away $5,000. So $10,000 combined
That goes into a fund that is only in that child's name
By the time they are 65 or 70 probably say let's say 65 for easy
That account will be worth anywhere from that like 1.5 to 2 million something like that with compound interest about an average 70% a year
That means if we as a generation
Decided to hey put away at least five grand and have the government meet you or even without the government even just do ten grand
You would not have a single kid that have to worry about retirement
The scary part is I
Think a lot for a lot of people that would be a good litmus test to say hey if you can afford to do that
You can probably afford to raise a kid
Mm-hmm, and not saying it's foolproof. Not at all
But well here the the flip side of that 80% of Americans couldn't do it
Currently in the economy. No, maybe not people's voting patterns. Hmm
Hmm
Just saying but just just saying
you know
We wouldn't be in this massive for well, hey, hey, you know, hopefully things are going better. Well, but so far
I'm not a disappointed man. We've well, you know, there are some things
I've not been happy about too, but well, we'll do a whole episode about all that stuff. Oh, yeah
valid
but
with some of these ideas
The we kind of get rid of a lot of these other problems with people having children that either have no interest in
Having children which unfortunately it pains me to say i've seen that happen where people just like oh I guess we're having a kid fucking yolo
Whatever and they put in zero effort and that I don't know that that drives me up a wall
Or worse. They just leave it to the other parent and be like bye. Have a great time
Yeah, which is also insane
I
I can't imagine that like I don't know I again this this this this part here's my perspective
But I feel like having a kid is a very intentional act
And nowadays with all the different kinds of contraception if you're not picking not have one you're picking to have one
You're saying yes, I want this so just do you got like eight different options if you really want to go nuts do something
Something let me let me go off on a small aside on the the contraception stuff. I think they are
doing some
bullshit
with the female side
Uh, I recently heard a story
They denied a young lady from getting her tubes tied when she was in her early 20s
Because they told her she did not have enough kids
Even though she said she knew she did not want any more
The excuse was well, you might meet a man who wants some yes excuse the absolute fuck out of me
Excuse the absolute fuck out of me. Um
No
If a guy walked in there and said I don't want kids. Here's my balls. They're going to fix him
Where is the
Uh line of or the scale of balance
That is it does not sit well with me. I don't understand my my medical community women still don't own their bodies
and i'm not even like one of those big like
Abortion activists, but that I will never understand. I will give you a very specific example
Someone in my family. I'm not going to name who?
They have endometriosis where they have cysts in their ovaries
Oh, they they need to have a procedure then not allowed
Oh my god until she is 25 mind you she's been going through this since she was 14. She lives in daily agony
But they have said because she is not old enough to to be able to go through that. She has to live with it
Oh, well, they could just manage the pain for two fucking years. I told her she was crazy
Rather than telling them actually doing the tests. We fought so hard to make to get the test to happen
I will still never I will not name
the um
Sorry, anyways, I will not name the hospital because it will give it away
But to that hospital, I hope
Somebody from there is listening. They recognize who I am
I will never fucking forgive you for what you did to my family member because it is ridiculous to me
That for some reason certain people aren't allowed to have onus over their body
And it drives me up a wall because guess what if somebody decides they don't want to have kids
Why can't you respect that? They'll say oh, but you might want to change your mind
and
adopt
Then we need more people to develop new fucking techniques that are temporary blocks that can be removed or semi-permanence
Absolutely. There are several of those
or like
Not for nothing but adopt
There are so many kids in these systems that would love to be adopted by somebody that actually wants to go through the process that don't go
Wrong. The adoption system is is really badly run to need it's bullshit
But I feel like if you want to fix abortion, you also have to fix adoption also have to fix
Individual rights for that but like yes, that's a whole other episode. No that that one's coming guys, but yeah
it's
Aggravating has helped me from somebody from America that we cry. We say we have all these freedoms all these rights
But on that road for some reason
We're the stone age
It makes no sense. And by and by the way, these opinions are coming to you by a couple of guys who are very very right leaning
Yeah, like like i'm I I don't always agree. So like we're not all bad
No, the thing is like I'm we're not all evil. I'm not like anybody crazy unless it's well anyways, but i'm not
But
Again, i'm very libertarian the fact that like your body is your body
Like I don't think should be if you want to do drugs as long as you're hurting other people. I really don't care
But if you go have fun, but if you also want to cut out certain organs as long as you know the consequences
I think that's okay. That's fine. If you don't want to deal with them
I get it like
And also not for nothing who might have tell somebody else what they're experiencing
That's one of my problems in the medical community that I really freaking hate is the idea that doctors telling you well
Yeah, but you'll just deal with it or it's fine. It's not that bad
It's like well to that person that might be they might be losing their goddamn mind over it
That might be the end of their world
You know like um, I i'm sorry
You know if if a doctor told me that I just had to deal with it
I would punch them in the face and say oh, I guess it was have to deal with that
Well, I I remember watching a video
There was a guy that was a guitarist that he got into an accident and he lost both his arms
And he's on tiktok. He actually plays it now with his feet, which is kind of honestly insane. He can do that
uh, it makes me just
Consider sapuku a little bit more every day, but because he's that good with his feet. I'm like, Jesus christ
I also watched him change his motor oil in his car by doing oil change and everything with just his feet
And I was even more impressed with that because getting the plug off and everything and doing the oil filter like
That's insane. That guy's more useful with his feet than half the guys from 18 to 24 with their hands. But anyways
I guess he's gonna find a girl that's in defeat though. But anyways, uh,
But
This guy was able to learn and overcome these things but at the same point
The doctor also told him like so what if you don't have arms like deal with it like that guy has every right?
to
Absolutely be like this fucking sucks and I want to deal with it in my way like that's fine
But I see it all the time with doctors being so insensitive to people, you know
I understand that like what if that's their first medical issue?
Like what if they've gone through their entire life and never having any medical problems and you want that major?
Yeah, and to them this this is this is huge. This is like life ending and they're like, yeah, go fuck yourself
Not my problem
It astounds me the lack of empathy and I understand the medical system. It's hard to work in that but come on
Yeah, the the doctors get blind to it because they're or get numb to it because they deal with that shit day in and day out
And they they just kind of lose the the human connection and the compassion
But I feel like we've kind of gotten off a little bit of the topic no, no, you're you're good
A lot of that needed to be said and I think
There are different episodes that we're going to do where we're going to go deeper into a lot of that stuff
But it's good that we've at least been able to kind of get it out into the air a little bit
But I do want to kind of
circle back and kind of cover some of the notes that we had
Because I feel like a lot of these were at least worth mentioning
When we were talking about the expectations in the dating world
Social media we we both agree that that has been one of the biggest
cesspool
fake
Guidelines out there
It sets some extremely unrealistic expectations
And I wish to hell I would have grabbed the link, but I only saw the video. It was a recent poll
Suggesting that the air quote perfect guy for women
As polled was a man that was over six feet tall and I believe they were saying between six three and six five
making over six figures
Which equated to around
26 figures which equated to roughly a hundred thousand men in the u.s
So you've got around
25 to 30 million women
You know air quote again roughly in that younger age bracket. That's ideally looking. Yeah in in that dating bracket essentially
that's
The that would be chasing the ideal man
Attempting to get the attention of a hundred thousand. That's like a 301 ratio
The I think it's three thousand to one or some shit. I don't know but the math doesn't math
And that's essentially, you know the sixes through tens chasing the tens and elevens
Everybody below the threshold is essentially getting ignored
And those are guys that would essentially be great guys
Great dads great partners great providers
Everything they're just going to get neglected because who will their 511 they make 999
Well, yeah, unfortunately
The world has become so superficial that
There's a lot of people that just look at the numbers. They look at it like oh, yeah sheet and they say oh, yeah
Do they check this this this yes. Yes. Yes. No, no, no, no
And they don't get to know it's essentially a speed date sheet now check check the box move on check the box move on
That's from what I've heard from people that are like
Like matchmakers, is that really they use instagram most of the time that look and see like do you have a house?
Do you have nice cars? Do you have your stuff going on or if you're a woman?
You know, do you have a lot of followers? Are you really attractive? Do you have this kind of interactions with people?
Do you do traveling and
like
and like it really doesn't tell you anything about those people but
For some people it's just a checklist and they wonder why?
You know, I hear women to get mad at guys. Oh that guy's up with 300 women. It's like well
Yeah, but they're all choosing to go after the guy
It's like it's like if you got you know
30 million people going after a hundred thousand and you wonder why each one of these like a rich fucking dude bros out in new
York city is up with 300 girls. It's like well not for nothing. Y'all keep knocking to no woman
Just you know sleeping with them. It's like which you know
Let me let me kind of go off on a weird odd tangent for a second
body count um
If you don't have any diseases
And you don't have a bajillion kids
What does it matter
You do not physically change. Yeah
It's it's not like your dick gets shorter bigger or you lose a piece of it or anything
Your your your your pussy doesn't open up
And get looser with every guy that you get with if if a woman fucks 300 guys
She doesn't get looser. It's the same as she screws her husband 300 times
It's the physical equivalent
Of what does it matter?
I think the only argument i've ever heard about that one which this one I I do somewhat understand
Is the idea of looking at statistical probability of if if let's just say theoretically if I was if I was going to date someone
And they told me they were with 300 different people. I would say wow the odds of this working out
Are less than one of 300
That's less than 0.3 percent
0.3 percent from a statistical perspective understand that like wow, maybe this other person simply has commitment issues not worth my time
But i've never understood the other argument like oh that person's been ran through it's like well
uh
But does it really change anything that now if there's trauma involved in other stuff or whatever maybe you know
That's one thing to be there
But purely just the act i've never understood that I mean i'm i'm talking about what if you've got a
a a guy or a girl who's in their
You know mid to late 30s, let's say
who just
Didn't want a relationship and just had fun for the first half of their life fine
What's wrong with that?
Not a goddamn thing
There's nothing physically wrong with them again if they don't have any diseases don't have a bunch of kids running around
There's nothing wrong. They can tell you three and you're not going to know the difference
Yeah, now they might have picked up a few different techniques that are going to blow your mind. You'd be like
This this is a bullshit. She she didn't no not three
You didn't learn that from three. She says oh i've never done this before it sends you to fucking pluto. It's like
There's something going on here, but no I I actually agree with you on that one
I I think it's a lot of guys and i'll call these out
There's a lot of guys out there that are insecure about what they bring to the table
And so they're thinking oh, absolutely shit. This girl's been with a ton of other guys. I get nothing
and the reality of it is
If you guys do a little bit of communicating with the woman that you're with and talk about some stuff
Uh and learn what they like you are not
Listen to me on this one. I can tell from experience. You'll have no problems just learn foreplay learn
Learn foreplay and learn communication. That's all you have to do. Those two will get you further in life than anything else
absolutely
There is a reason why most days even if i'm dog tired. I have a smile on my face
Yes, I know what i'm doing but it's but 90 of it is just communicating and understanding that you could sleep with as many people as you want
It's not the person that if it's not that person that you're with in that room
It doesn't really mean that much sure. It'll mean some things
But like get talk with them. You'll learn about it
It's not hard
But I think a lot of guys are insecure with women that have like been with a few guys
It's like I agree with you if there's no medical issues
Why the fuck do I care like why?
No, the only time I would care is if it shows repeated habit of commitment issues and like other like mental stuff
Where it's like, oh, yeah, that's fair
Did this girl's like 23 and she's been with like 75 dudes in the last three years like, okay
maybe
There's something going on into the hood
But besides I you know, right as long as it doesn't show anything crazy, I think there's a lot of people that are insecure
But there's a lot of both men and women now granted absolutely women not not as often but you know
Yeah, so um when it comes to the
Hardcore difficulties that both men and women
Actually have to face
Uh, I I did make up a small list
And I wanted to see what you thought about that
Difficulties for men
Versus the difficulties for women uh for men
It's difficult to approach women without getting labeled a creep or a threat
And I put that one at the top
Because it literally just happened to me yesterday
Uh, I was out to lunch. I I had a bunch of errands to run. I stopped and got lunch
Um, I saw a younger single mom. She had two young kids with her. She was trying to get her stuff together
I said, would you like a hand?
Literally all I said I had a smile on my face because the the two little girls she was with they were adorable
The the one baby was just smiling at me and everything. It was it was just adorable. I said
Hey, would you like a hand getting all your stuff together? She's like, I don't need help from a creep like you. Thanks
oh
Adam's just like yep, and that's why we don't talk to people in public anymore
Yeah
Yeah, that was that was fun. You know what? There's uh, sorry you go
No, go ahead. Good. I was gonna say
I there's a huge problem that like
2% of men have ruined it for the other 98%
Which is that 2% of guys are genuinely are creeps that are freaking weird women and kids
and a lot of women are quite frankly very afraid and
In a way, I understand. However, the problem that always becomes is
guys like us
always have to pay
for what the other guys have done and
That's happened to me before
And unfortunately again, you've met me. I'm I'm a fairly big dude
Um, I'm not somebody you want to like mess around with and as I've learned in the past
I can come across intimidating mind you I'm a goddamn teddy bear of a person
But you know, I have been told my ass that like exactly. I know you you're
You're not gonna hurt anybody
You know, oh
God damn, dude, you know what? I mean
You're not that kind of guy
guy
No, you know
I don't want to like I was when I neither one of us are gonna hurt anybody
You don't want to get a fistfight with either one of us but like
Right. No, neither one of us are those kind of guys and neither one is neither one of us would put up with being friends
With one of those kind of guys
But it's a shame
That a lot of women unfortunately are so afraid
That they can't accept help from some of us generally trying to do the right thing at least offer a hand
And when it yeah, literally all I was trying to do
Her her young the the older of the two was just kind of like trying to get away and everything and giving her a hassle
She was trying to get this contraption onto herself to get her baby put away. I'm like, hey
Would you like a small hand?
And I mean, I'm saying it with a smile on my face. I'm still sitting down at my table
and
She just snaps at me. I'm like, okay. That's why we don't talk to people in public anymore
So from my experience, I could not help random strangers until I got a girlfriend
Because
When she's in the car if she's around they're like, oh clearly he's not a fucking weirdo. Whereas when I was single
Um, right
And that makes a difference when you're with somebody that's showing to not be a threat
That takes the oh, he's he's probably not a threat, you know off the table
But it was always a shame because like I'm a relatively handy guy
I can do stuff and I always felt bad and there were times the past where like you see somebody stranded
And I don't look whether a man or a female male or female. I'm like, oh, you know if someone needs help you help them
I'm one of those kind of people I
I think you know you make the world better one little one little act of kindness at a time
And there were several times I stopped to help and I would have people either yell at me
I had one lady throw a fucking shoe at me and it was like awesome after a while was like well fine
Fuck y'all fucking die. I don't give a shit like not my fucking problem
And thankfully like now with my girlfriend. She sees me all the time
I've stopped to help people do stuff, but because she's there
I can but it's kind of sad let you help them, but it's sad that I have to have
Basically another woman signing off me saying hey
This guy's not a creep in order for me to be able to help someone
and
It's just a damn shame that a lot of women have to go through that and thankfully as a guy like I've never had to really
worry about that
Because like if a woman's being creepy with me
I don't really have to that that's a problem. I can easily solve if a man's being creepy with me again
That's a problem. I can easily solve
So yeah, you know hashtags. It's good for me because I can make it weird with dudes real quick
Weird and uncomfortable
That's how I defuse
But yeah, so moving on
Difficulties for men the the number two that I put is we're immediately judged by our appearance
And no chance to talk to the woman
Yeah
Uh
Getting a chance to talk and initiate a conversation can make a huge difference
That's why as much as I hate it. I am still a fan of
the digital meat market that does exist because it allows the conversations to happen
And they get a taste of your personality
Before they get a taste of you in person
I don't like to use the phrase digital meat market
Could you not use that again? I don't like that one
I don't like that
But that's what it is, man
Yeah, but just I i'm not wrong
I don't like but does it make you moist? Absolutely not
Dry as a sahara my friend
But I will agree that I think that's that is one of the benefits at least you get to talk to somebody granted
It's usually a good thing
Talk to somebody granted it's usually over text which I feel like is difficult
Yeah, I I know I liked I will say I had a much better success when I was doing with the voice memos
I felt like that was way more personable. That's my one tip for guys
uh
Definitely voice memos if you can
Voice memos are good when you're texting, you know, try to arrange now this this is something that
This this is your your litmus test
Try to arrange within a few days of meeting via the the digital app try to arrange the meat
Don't set it for that day, of course
Try to arrange a meet within the first few days to take place in the next two weeks
That will set the tone to say hey i'm interested in you
I would like to for us to move forward and work towards meeting
That'll tell you right there whether they're even serious about anything or not because i've had people be like, oh I don't want to meet peace out
Why the fuck are you on an app? I know
That's I even had it by the profile
When I was on bubble and everything when I met my girl was like, you know, I even had in the app I was like
looking to
meet
Serious relationship
You know not here to screw around and
you know after
a few failed attempts
Um, it worked out very well, but yeah, definitely. Um, I believe that the phrase be date with intent
Yes, you know that that's a good one to put on your profiles is if that's what you're looking for
Put that that way the ones who are just looking for a fun friday night will pass you by
Because you would be amazed the amount of people that don't have hobbies or interests that just date because they're bored
Uh-huh
Fucking astounding serial daters serial daters. I I have it in the notes above and I might circle back to those
I don't know if i'm gonna leave them in or not
Uh, there are women out there
Who will date because they are simply bored or that's how they feed themselves a free meal baby will go out with men
Huh? It's a free meal, baby
Absolutely
The men are expected to pay
95 of the time for the date be it in part or in whole
So the women just go out with the men to get a free meal and that's what they do
That that's just what they do. There's no expectations of anything beyond the dinner
They just go for the food
and they
They ghost and oh I fucking hate ghosting. Oh my god
So that nothing pisses me off more than ghosting
I get it. Oh trust it. I've been the victim of that. I get it
Mmm, you think the conversation's going well?
They're they're they're active. They get back to you. It's ping pong. I mean poof god
Mill the fucking convo
Yep
What the fuck is wrong with people? Oh my god
Well, that's that anyways, i'm sorry
If they got 97 options and a new one comes around it's oh well, yeah, this this guy looks better
Oh, this one's way cuter
Doesn't matter that he's got three kids. He's not paying child support on he's keeps cuter. You know, it's fine
You know, it's weird like a slight aside. This can be a very quick one
The amount of women that I've met that are okay with dating guys that have multiple baby mamas
Oh, yeah, there's one that I know of that was chasing a guy being like oh, but he's so cute
He had five other baby mamas. She was like, I don't care if i'm the sexed
And I I wanted to yell or be like you stupid bitch. You think he's gonna pay you any money?
He's got five of the baby moms that works at mcdonald's you dumb
Just like wow, so needless to say like it's insane for some people
The the choices they will make and the excuses they'll make to be like, oh, but they're cute. It's like
Come on. There's some things that disqualify you. I'm sorry
It's it's the proverbial. I can fix them. No, you can't
No, you cannot fix them. I know no no no no
I've seen people try I can fix a lot of shit in this life. I can't fix that
You can't fix somebody if they don't want to be fixed in the rallies if they want to be fixed
Odds are they're going to make steps to make that happen or make the change happen
So it really takes you by the equation. All you can do is support
But if you're gonna wait around for somebody to hopes that they will change
Uh, that's not a relationship. You're babysitting
Like yeah, but no you you can either support or enable exactly
You know if advice I will say for guys
My girl immediately caught my attention the first date. She fucking paid for it. She bought the dinner
Yeah, oh, yeah, that that's if you want to get a guy's attention
Did you have to offer up your butt for that because holy crap?
It took me by surprise
She we she ordered the dinner and we were just hanging out like we we met because we were we were talking about a couple months
Before we met in person and I went to her place and we were just gonna have dinner. Nothing crazy
And we got the dinner and she paid for just don't you have to pay me and I was like what she was like
Yeah, I was like you're kidding. She's like no
Let me tell you as a man be wanting to dine for the first time in my life
I will tell you
You got googly eyes, didn't you? I was sitting thinking. Oh fuck
Ah, this might go all the way and two years later. I just got back from our anniversary trip. So yeah, it's uh,
Which a happy anniversary. Thank you. We can say that today b
Were you waiting for her to come back?
Happy anniversary. Thank you. We can say that today b. Were you waiting for her to come out with a strap on on?
All slicked up covered motor oil
But oh but it was it was one of those things where
Sometimes it's the little things we're showing a little bit of initiative like that
Is just the little things? Yay
Hey
But no seriously that that was that was fuck I still think about that to this day
And that's that's why we both kind of joke and laugh about that
But there's a lot of things that we both did for each other first that the other person never really realized
so
you know
The amount of women I have just talked to
Through like apps and stuff
They'll say oh i've never gone out on an actual date
Um, didn't you say you were married? Yeah. Well, he never took me out on any dates before though
Excuse the actual fuck out of me. What I will never understand that no
Uh the the the few times I got the opportunity to like cook a meal for somebody. Yeah
There was one girl like almost in tears she's like my my ex-husband never once cooked a meal for me
oh
And i'm like I I oh, okay, i'm sorry
That's something as a guy you you will stand out to so many women if you can do that
And I will be honest. I'm well apparently not because she left
Like she said the food was great
But then she left so whatever well to each their own
Yeah, she might have been crazy, but probably was
But for a lot of guys learning how to do some simple stuff is huge
You know learn how to cook like five meals. Yeah, like and get really really good at those
Yeah
But so moving on with the difficulties list. I don't want this to go to the three-hour episode
The last one I have on the list for guys is that digital society has made it nerve-wracking to approach face to face
And a lot of people just don't have the social skills anymore
thoughts on that
Well, you're number one. You're certainly not wrong
Number two. There's a lot of people that they don't have a third space and have a place that they socialize is no fraternities
There aren't many fraternities anymore. There aren't many clubs
social groups or anything
the reality of it is
A lot of people are locked behind their black mirrors all day anymore and they don't go do face to face
Yeah, and unfortunately I hate to say it because of the legal systems involved especially in certain areas
As a man, you can always face like a social backlash, but also legal backlash if you're not careful
And I feel like that's part of it to where like I know as a guy that that's pretty strong pretty well built
All a woman has to say is he touched me inappropriately and I get kicked out of that club permanently and I could have just been standing there
Like yeah on the other side of the room. Yeah, and unfortunately we live in a world to where like one accusation
Can lynch you can get fired from your job?
You could lose your career. Oh, yeah, if you get me too, you're done. Yeah, and I think for a lot of guys
That's fucking scary
And for me years ago, that was fucking terrifying
Are you kidding me as a guy that wanted to become a teacher and like if god forbid if I had anything like that on my record
It would be done
Just just instantly done. No, no questions asked
Yeah
so
That's the thing about it. I think it's a little bit of a
So that was what I had for the difficulties for men the difficulties for women
While there's nothing to say that they couldn't face the exact same things that the men have to face
I
Obviously am not a woman. What?
Uh, I know I I look so feminine
How dare you
Uh, so what I was able to find in in my internet foo
um
Women have to be wary of men who would who will or would take advantage of them or try to harm them
uh
I I feel bad that women have to worry about their drinks getting spiked. Yeah
Getting snatched off the street corner while they're trying to go to their car getting followed out from the store
All kinds of shit like that. It's terrible
Shouldn't have to worry about that shit
um
I I feel bad when i'm in the store and i'm going up the same aisle as like some
Five foot nothing hundred and pound little woman who's just trying to do her shopping
And there's this large imposing guy that's doing the same thing. She is and I can see her visibly getting nervous
So I just try to turn around go the other way. Oh, yeah
And I I hate that that's where society is
Well, it's it's terrible it is terrible, um, I guess the only advice would be you know
Number one if you're going to be out late or going out to clubs and doing stuff
Find some male friends or have some other people that can be in your posse just to be there
Because you strength the numbers will be in a mate. It's amazing
How much security just having one guy around can can be like again?
I have several, you know female friends that
That I'm friends with we all used to go to clubs and do like like, you know
Hang out and go places and the amount of people I know that would ask specifically to bring me along
They're like number one like we like to hang out with the also number two
Like we're all going clubbing and like we know you used to go clubbing and you never had any problems and like we're all nervous going
And I'd be like the the night chaperone. It took me wrong watching a bunch of
of like
Women getting drunk as shit and doing stupid stuff. It was entertaining
But also, oh, yeah
It was good to have someone there that like could handle a situation
That nobody's gonna cause any problems. You'd be like, oh crap that big guys with them. Yeah, I I need to write nothing
and
but it's sad
That they also wanted me there because they felt
of the security problem
which
It's a shame. I think unfortunately women have to learn, you know
Smart habits when it comes to being at bars or being at clubs
as well
As I always recommend this is to anybody learn how to properly defend yourself
Learn the legal areas with which you will live in about the ways that you're allowed to defend yourself
whatever tools or
You know knowledge necessary
But definitely knowledge is your best friend and training is your best friend
Making smart. I'll just go ahead and say this if you live in an area where you are legally allowed to and you are
By your jurisdiction legally allowed to own and carry a firearm
consider it learn how to do it, right and
Do it
A firearm is the great equalizer
A 100 pound woman can 1000 stop a 300 pound guy with a nine millimeter
Oh, yeah
When applied properly
And I think that's a good point
I end of discussion. Oh, yeah. Well, it's it goes to the thing of if you're going to do fun things
Learn to also how to be responsible for that fun meeting don't put yourself in stupid situations
But also be prepared to have the right tools and training. So if things do happen
You can handle the situation
I a firearm is a parachute
Absolutely, and it's better to have it not need it than need it not have it
It doesn't matter the size you are the skill level anything
Anybody can learn how to defend themselves and you can be far more effective than you think
And for a lot of guys they're not going to mess with somebody if they're armed or if they know how to defend themselves
Even if all you're carrying is a knife that's legally allowed or pepper spray or bear spray, whatever's allowed
I
I would definitely make an effort to do that
Especially for some of the goes in the nightlife a lot and goes out clubbing and stuff like that is up stupidly
Bring anyone major cities
trust me
Absolutely
Uh, so number two on the list for women, uh, they have to worry about their kids if they have any
As dating for single bombs can be an absolute nightmare
When when a single mother is dating they're not just dating for them
They're dating for their kids as well and any man that comes into their lives will come into those kids lives as well
in any long-term scenario
That has got to be one of the most nerve-wracking things as a single parent that I have to deal with. Oh, yeah
Anybody that I meet
Is eventually going to have to meet my kids and a I feel sorry for them
the the potential
Girlfriend, not the kids because my kids are
Well, my kids are awesome, but god they're they're going to drive that woman nuts
But there's
There's so much that a woman's got to worry about and and it circles back to
Is this man going to harm me or my child?
You know, there's there's so much broken shit in this world
I mean
It's it's so fucked I know well that that's that's why unfortunately with with layers of social interactions like that
You have to make sure that you take your time
Meeting somebody. Oh, absolutely getting to know them. It must be so much more difficult as a single parent that that I haven't had to deal with
but like
Don't don't do you know we talked about this. No throwing the juju. No, no heel bad dog
Shit so the
The kid stuff is
Definitely
The biggest hurdle I think and that's one of the reasons why I kind of advocate for meeting
Sooner rather than later
Is you can get a chance to just kind of get around that person?
And see if you get that vibe
Yeah, you know if if someone's a bad person generally speaking you're going to get that
I don't like this person feeling from them
And it's better
Than to do it simply
than to do it sooner rather than later because
If you've if you've invested, you know a month or two talking to them getting to know them
By that point you might just say I'm probably just nervous or oh, I'm sure it's nothing
You've already invested time into it
You you might look the other way and that might be all they need. So don't do that to yourselves
Don't risk that for your kids
Meet the person you're talking to soon
See what they're like in person
Find out how they act fuck find out how they treat waitstaff. That's a big one, too. Yeah
If they can't treat the people to handle their food with dignity and respect. They're not going to treat you with that or that well either
See how they treat waitstaff how they treat the elderly how they treat children
That will tell you a lot about a person and what their values are
And also I agree that the I think it's called the sunken cost fallacy the idea of
The more invested are you you are in something the more likely you are to continue going through with it because all i've already invested this much time
This much effort into it. I might as well see it through
And the reality is if your gut tells you something's wrong with them or something's up
You should probably trust that and not just be like, oh i'm just gonna ignore that
I know a few people have been like I mean if if you're in a situation where you've put years into a relationship, that's different then
well, no
If you've put years into a relationship, but then things change
But you still want to be in that relationship
But everything about it says no, I shouldn't be here
What do you do then?
You should probably have a conversation about that
And understand like why and how what's changed, you know, is it
You know something that's that's the internal value like a core value or is it a principle or is it just the way that it's functioning?
Is it how they're treating people? There's a lot of variables within there
You have to have the hard conversation to be like with that other partner like why have things changed?
Yeah
You know, what can we do? What can we work around with but
You know, I don't I just if you got says something's wrong, I I wouldn't ignore it
Yeah, you know at least address it because the worst case scenario if you address with your partner and they're just like
Oh, okay
I can fix that and then all of a sudden the conversation's over
Or the worst case scenario is they fucking blow up about it
And just like you know, then like whatever well, you know, and i've
I've run into this where just one side is like nope. I'm done
Doesn't matter what you say doesn't matter what you do. I'm done. I'm out and sometimes it's not about you
They just some people just walk away
Yeah
You know you you could do everything for them in the world still and they will not care
Yeah, that sucks. I'm ever running that a few times really
So, oh, but we'll we'll get to the last thing here
Difficulties for women they will be judged by their appearance immediately
And and that will dictate the quality of man that will approach them
That's true
And I think that's true for men, too
Um, but I felt just in what I was reading that it seemed to be more prevalent for women
Well, yeah, because I know there's a lot of guys that vice versa and I
Well, I I mostly put it there because men don't get
Men don't get approached by women as much as they used to these days
We we just don't get approached now, um, we get approached by men
That's not fun. Yeah, that's always a little awkward
But the women that get approached, um, how they look can dictate the kind of guy that approaches them
And that can be scary for them as well
Thanks. You don't want to attract the wrong type of guy
Exactly. That's how they're how they're dressed for the night can can say whether they're going to get somebody who's
You know, they're not going to be able to get a guy who's going to be able to get a guy who's going to be able to get a guy
she can say whether they're going to get somebody who's
You know just trying to get a nut or someone who's trying to look for a wife
It's definitely tough, you know, it's a tough tightrope to walk on that one
Yeah, I feel like um looking at our notes, I feel like we've covered most of
What we definitely want to talk about
Yeah, um, I mean i'll i'll kind of
of roll out the end here and just kind of go through this
little spiel I had. Meeting people is easy these days. And
I think we can both agree with that. Yeah. You can meet and
match with somebody on any of 1000 outlets. But what hurts
like nothing else is when you meet that one person, and you
don't just click with them, you get slapped like Chris Rock by
them. And then when you meet, it doesn't feel like you're
meeting them for the first time. It's more like you're seeing
them again for the first time in a long time. And things
progress and happen and you've never felt happier in your life
and you think to yourself, holy shit, this might actually be it.
And then you're stupid enough to let your guard down. And you
let your whole heart be exposed. And then they don't just rip
it out of you. They run through a blender back over with a
steamroller and toss it in a fire before they tell you that
they're done with you for any of 1000 bullshit reasons, none of
which you even had any control over. They're just done with
you. And then you're left to pick up the pieces and move on.
For all the guys that's happened to you learn that happens
precisely once before you put a wall around yourself that makes
Fort Knox look like a joke. And then you become dumb to the
world. Things get better. That happens to all of us, I think at
least once. And we try not to let it happen again. The dating
world is a mud puddle, not just a cesspool. But there are good
people out there. There are some pretty amazing people out there
actually. Not everyone's looking for the same thing. But I think
at the end of the day, everybody just wants their person. Yeah, I
I just have much to add on that one because I feel like you
perfectly summed that one up. I've got to said my piece. I
mean, I I would agree with you. You know, it's a it's amazing
how complicated the dating world is now. What used to be a
woman would just drop her handkerchief and say oops, and
the guy would go and pick up and say, Is this yours? And she
would say yes, right. You know, whereas, whereas now yet seems
like you got to roll some dice and then pull out a tarot card
and look at the stars and then hope you know, the wind blows a
certain way and you know.
But all right, I think we're pretty much done through all of
our notes and everything else we needed to say for tonight. For
those of you who are lucky enough to have somebody grid
good and great in your lives. Congratulations. Happy
Valentine's Day. Don't forget to spend everything you've ever
made on that person this weekend. If that's what fiscal
financial America demands of it, you must show love with dollar
dollar reduce. That's the only way that love is shown these
days now.
I've I don't know. We've always had the agreement at least over
here in my place that like we do something nice but like we don't
worry about the number. I'm being totally facetious. I know.
But you know what the crazy thing is? I know people that have
said, oh, yeah, if we don't like he doesn't really love me if it
doesn't spend a lot of money on me, which is insane. The the
engagement ring bullshit. Oh my God. Oh, he's got to spend
three thousand three three months salary on my ring or he
doesn't love me. I don't know what I'm going to do. Excuse the
actual fuck out of me. You get a ring and it's shiny. It looks
pretty. Who fucking cares how much it cost? You know, you know
how I know I got a good woman. She probably wants a ring from
Walmart. She or out of the gumball. Her and I both agreed
that we're just going to get like one of those engineered
rings and use the rest of the money or other like more
important things. Yes. Get a cheap ring. Do a small wedding.
Spend the fucking money that you would do on the big stuff on
something awesome. Go somewhere phenomenal. Make memories. Do
something spectacular that you would never do any other time in
your life. Do that with that person that you choose to spend
your life with and you will have a better fucking time that you
would have had spending ten thousand dollars on a fucking
piece of shiny rock. If the importance of your relationship
is to impress other people, clearly your relationship isn't
actually that important. You're in the wrong relationship if that's
what it is. You need to be that guy that was posing with his eight
flashy Super Bowl rings and his 23 year old supermodel girlfriend
so he can look like Danny DeVito pumping the fucking penguin or
whatever. But I think the smallest side here would be do
the things in your relationship that are actually important to
the health of the relationship. And if you're so concerned about
appearing, if you spend more effort making a relationship
appear like it's healthy rather than actually putting the effort
into the relationship, you have a fucking problem. And for all
those people out there that think that the value of the
relationship is determined by the amount you spend on the
wedding ring, I think you're insane. Especially the cost of
the wedding. Yeah, the destination weddings do those
piss me off. Actually, I think that's incredibly inconvenient
to everybody involved. I know some of them had to travel to
the Dominican Republic. They had to buy their own plane ticket,
their own hotel and everything. They were out five grand and
they didn't expect to have to fucking pull up that kind of
thing. Now, don't get me wrong. If you're doing a destination
wedding, you need to provide the plane tickets and the travel
arrangements. That's what I think. If you're doing a
destination wedding, you're that well off. Otherwise, fuck you.
Well, I guess the way I've always looked at it is I think
if you have a family and friends that like you care about and
like our local, you have the wedding locally. And then you
say, hey, we're going to be doing a getaway here, here and
here for a couple of weeks or for a week or two. We're on the
honeymoon. We don't want any of you fuckers to bother us. But at
some point we're going to be meeting up here. So instead of
having a destination wedding, you could do like a destination
getaway with all your friends and family to where they can
meet up and you guys can hang out as you please at the hotel
or resort or wherever. But that way everybody's happy because I
find it very annoying and sensitive to people because there
are some people that can't travel. There are some people
that have other obligations. And I find it ridiculous that people
think you're obligated to drop everything in your life because
somebody else is getting married. I would be so pissed off
if one of my friends was like, hey, we're getting married in
Scotland or some shit. I'd be like, so great. So the place
that I want good for you, the place that I want to travel to
now I cannot actually travel and enjoy it. I now have to worry
about somebody else's shit and getting obligated to go to a
trip that I didn't want to go to. No, I don't believe in
destination weddings. Absolutely not. Maybe it's because I don't
come from a rich family. I don't know. But like, come on. Be
reasonable, especially in that. I think I think destination
weddings are only for the people that can truly afford them. I
know. I think they should be shelling out for those. I know
somebody that works finance in New York. They just spent a
quarter million on their wedding. Gross. Yeah, that's what I
said. And especially with somebody that works in finance,
they would know if they just put away that quarter million, they
could retire with four or five million. But really, just because
they work in finance, the wedding was way more important,
right? Yeah, I the overrunner on them and being being divorced
is like two years with that wedding went. So yeah, that
quarter mill was so worth it, I bet. Yeah. And the crazy thing
is if they divorce, she still gets the money. Holy shit.
Let's think about that. Well, that that preen up is ironclad, I
bet. Yeah, just just just be careful, folks. Yeah. Make sure
you marry the right person and choose your partners wisely.
Yeah, yeah. Or at least do your best, you know. But yeah, I
think that's pretty much all we've got for tonight. socials,
discord. And next week. Yeah, make sure to definitely join us
on our social media and make sure please join the discord. We
definitely want to get that place hop in some time soon.
And we're gonna have to find a giveaway or something to do to
get people to join. I think so we'll work on something. I'm
gonna have to start sending pictures of the ice cream cone
out or something. I don't know. See now. Now that life has
stopped using me as a flashlight, I can actually get
back to having a regular fucking. You say the magic word.
I know. Hey, Alexa, no, we're being a flashlight.
You're not allowed to do that.
It's okay. It's the end of the episode. No one makes it here.
We just want to say thank you all for listening. We really
appreciate it. We've been getting some wonderful feedback
and we can't wait to come back again. Thank you all and we
shall catch on the next episode. Hell yeah. See you then.