Join us on Now We Consume.
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The Now We Consume podcast will take you through the parts of your day you normally dread.
Why suffer through the existential crisis of life alone when you can do it with us?
And Now We Consume.
This is not meant to be a conspiracy episode or podcast,
but we may cover some topics that dance that line like a toddler dances on their mother's last nerve.
This podcast is rated "I", immature audiences only.
Tonight's episode may not be suitable for all listeners.
We will be covering a sensitive topic that could be upsetting to some people.
We will not be using algorithm friendly language.
We will be using socially and medically correct terminology.
So if the discussion of death or suicide is uncomfortable for you,
maybe skip this episode and listen to one of our other shows.
Hello and welcome back to Now We Consume.
I'm your host, Gibbs. Along with me is my co-host, Pip.
Hi, I'm Pip.
And tonight we have a special guest.
We've got our friend Gibles.
Hi.
Gibles is one of our gamer friends.
He's been with us for a number of years now.
Do you want to go ahead and tell us a little bit about yourself there, Gibles?
Well, I do like long walks on the beach and
yeah, anyways, so I am ex-military.
He likes to be surprise cuddled from the back too.
Exactly. A little reach around goes a long way with me.
No, but I'm ex-military, ex-police from Washington, D.C.
and currently I am just medically retired and enjoying life.
Hell yeah. Thanks for serving.
Thank you for everything else you've done.
Some people wouldn't say that to me though.
Well, we're not those people.
That's true.
We definitely want to welcome a fresh perspective on this topic for today.
Anything else you want to say? Oh yeah, something else I want to say is thank you already for all the reactions and comments we've gotten on YouTube
and all the responses we've gotten between our social media stuff and our Discord and everything. We appreciate it.
I definitely encourage people, please follow us on those and or please join the Discord. We would have some fun times there.
So yes, the dark humor section is starting to get some attention finally and a little bit of love.
You mean you are dispensing therapy equally?
I have dispensing therapy.
Equally and non-consensually?
It is what I do, non-consensual therapy. That's my specialty.
So today's episode, as you heard from the disclaimer that we decided to put in,
it's kind of a touchy subject. And yes, we will be discussing the ever popular topic of suicide.
And we are not going to use the friendly terms like unaliving or not being alive or things of that nature.
It's deep enough and serious enough that you just have to say the words and you can't be dancing around it.
It's something that doesn't get talked about enough for anyone who is going through things that they feel like they just want to go down that route
and not dealing with a medical issue. There is help. The crisis line is always available.
You can dial 988 on your phones and get a hold of somebody. They will help you through as best they can
because every situation is different. A crisis can look like a lot of different things to a lot of different people.
There are people that will help. There are people out there that care.
There's also the veterans crisis line. A lot of us are vets.
You can actually text too.
Oh, yeah. Text the 988, the crisis line.
Yep. And then you can also text 838255.
838255. Good.
It is.
The veteran crisis line, 800-273-8255. 23 vets a day lose the fight that they bring home with them after they serve.
So if you know a vet that's struggling, please check on them.
The smile that they have can hide a lot. They've been trained to put it all the way. So just keep that in mind.
On a bit of a personal note, I have lost friends and family to suicide.
Not something I talk about a lot.
People that experience it never want to talk about it.
And it's never easy for the people that have to deal with the pieces from everybody else.
So if you think you're spiraling down that path, please reach out.
And tell them why your life is worth living.
Absolutely. I appreciate that.
That's a message that I don't think is ever really said enough.
No, I try to spread something of that nature anytime I see comments online.
People take life for granted, I think.
And suicide really is a permanent solution to more often than not a temporary issue.
No matter how bad things get, there are ways out, there are ways around.
Things will get better.
Y'all know I went through some pretty rough shit a few years ago.
I endured a lot of dark times and there were some nights where I really questioned whether or not I wanted to keep going.
I'm not going to lie, I leaned on a lot of y'all and I had y'all there to keep me going.
And I got my kids.
And honestly, I don't think if I didn't have my kids and you guys, I wouldn't be here.
Or happy to have you here, bud.
You know, it's such a tough thing for people to talk about.
And I always welcome and appreciate people sharing that because some people think they suffer alone and they really don't.
I hate to say it, but life so often for everybody has moments where it just really sucks.
And sometimes just talking about it, like letting those people know it means a difference, especially it doesn't matter how great your life is or how terrible it is.
We all have our moments.
And just reaching out, letting someone know that like, hey, I'm going through this.
It's amazing what people will do to help if you ask.
Asking is always the hardest part.
Oh, it is.
Especially for us guys, we are so afraid of looking weak or helpless or anything other than, you know, this big, strong facade that we have to put on.
No, when when you're looking at possibly ending everything fucking reach out.
There are people that care.
That's that's that's all there is.
Just.
There are people that care.
That I guess anecdotally, from what I've seen, you would be amazed by the people that would reach out.
They're like, oh, yeah, say you're struggling.
Even people that you might not think that are close or family that you don't talk to that much.
That is something that I think at least a lot of good people will recognize and say in the step up and say, you know, I'm here for you.
So as much as some people might think there might be a burden to other people, they might be offloading their problems, whatever.
No, that's not the case.
It's a very different thing from just bitching about something stupid to if you're seriously considering something like that, those are two wildly different things.
Never trivialize your own struggles like that to assume that you can't share that with people.
Right.
Seriously.
But to kind of get on the topic of tonight's show, I did want to kind of bring up all those to steer us into the vein of the episode.
Tonight, we're talking about the medical side of.
Of this topic.
The right to death is something that is still very taboo in the US.
Able to know it shouldn't being able to leave the the earth on your own terms.
If you have some kind of a degenerative illness or incurable disease, medical major medical issue that just there is no easy treatment.
The treatment is worse than the disease.
Those kind of issues.
And your only real option is endure massive amounts of pain.
And there are physical deformities that will just crush whatever kind of pain tolerance and pain threshold a human being should have.
If ending your life is a better option at that point, it should be allowable.
Currently, there are 10 states.
Plus DC.
That allow this.
Maine, New Mexico, Colorado, Montana, Oregon, Washington State, Hawaii, New Jersey and Vermont, as well as Washington DC.
Like I said, are the only states where you can medically do this.
Should be all 50.
Now, the only question that is all those states, those are all blue, aren't they?
I believe with the exception of Montana, possibly.
I mean, Maine, Maine, I think is a purple.
Yeah, it's purple.
Well, the way they're set up, it's it's actually pretty fair how they do things there.
I like it.
Now, I only ask is it seems to be more of the red side.
That's so anti.
Right.
Asia versus the other end, which I really find interesting.
And on that, I feel that it's mostly because it religious stigma.
Yeah.
And once you take the religious point of view out of it, what's left?
Well, it becomes the argument of you have the two different sides.
You either have the the side of personal right and liberty when it comes to owning not only your own body, but your soul and what to do with it.
If you are allowed to not only exist, but cease existence versus the other side of what the religious side of things will always get better.
So even if you want to kill yourself now, like stick around and things should get better or maybe get better.
That's the same thing with the abortion debate and everything else.
And it's very much kind of a.
I don't know.
I think I know you have one stance on this and I definitely have another stance on it.
I understand the. Why there be left leaning states that would allow it as it makes sense politically.
I guess my question would be like.
I wonder if the if like the scenario of, oh, you live in a red state, but you go to a blue state to kill yourself.
Can they charge anybody?
Can they charge you for assisting in that?
Or like, because I know there were some states that want to do that with abortion.
Like if you went to somewhere else and had there is anybody that assisted, it would be not from another state.
I mean, then you'd be looking at like warrants and stuff like that.
And even then, there's a whole you know, the federal side of law.
And then you have the state laws and with the different states, I'm not sure I'm aware of anywhere.
You commit a crime in one state, you can be then charged by another one.
I'm not sure if that exists or not.
Well, what are they going to do? Have an exorcist raise me from the dead and then charge me?
Maybe you never know.
Come back in the years.
The only reason I bring that up is because they were talking about that with abortion for a little bit.
And that's the closest analog we can think of when it comes to individual rights in that scenario.
But I guess my question to you would be if you're talking about medically assisted suicide,
it's always the issue of the terms in which that would be done.
Because again, just like other things, it could be abused to where someone with a minor inconvenience could just be like, I stubbed my toe.
I really want to do death about that.
But this sucks.
There has to be statutes to it that would say, OK, just because you want to doesn't mean it's the right thing to do.
You know, oh, you have cancer that's, you know, you're going to die from it.
OK, we could see that. Oh, you you have a brain tumor that is going to make you a vegetable the rest of your life where you're just going to like, you know, OK, sure.
Why not? But even then, there has to be there's regulations to that because, God forbid, you end up in a situation where you're on the table and now you're a vegetable.
And then somebody says, OK, pull the plug. And you didn't have that right to say, hey, you know, maybe I don't want to stick around or, hey, I do want to stick around.
Right now. Yeah, I'm not saying that this should just be as easy as, you know, ordering a pizza.
Oh, my God. I'd like to order one death, please.
One suicide pod, please. Yeah.
No, you can't read them.
Yes. And then we'll talk about that here shortly.
This is something that should be taken seriously and should be medically.
Oh, dear God, the words are leaving me.
Supported, allowed.
Yes, supported and evaluated, consulted.
You should have multiple steps through the process.
And I know the the the states that allow this, there is somebody sitting with you.
You have to check multiple times.
You know, like you understand that by doing this, you are going to die and they you have to answer yes.
And you have to be of sound mind and judgment when you start the process and when you go to end the process.
And it should be stopped if if there's any questions.
I mean, if there's a case where you're all alone, maybe there should be something like a guardian ad litem
that's appointed to say, yes, they are of sound mind and judgment.
I can vouch that they are making this decision, you know, with with no real duress other than what the medical issues are.
You know, I can attest to X, Y and Z.
You know, put checks and balances in place for it, of course.
But I wonder if that's something that people should start putting their wills.
You know, I don't see why not a conditional statement of like, like, for example, I've already told my girlfriend,
if I ever end up like a vegetable or if I'm even missing more than two limbs.
Yeah. Throw me to the river. I got it. I don't know.
You use my body to make some. Oh, maybe not that like you used to cost in a river with only two limbs.
And you're still flapping around. You're going to spin around like one of those weird bobbers for a while.
Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.
I mean, what I mean more like is like a serious accident where I can't live a fulfilling life.
I use my body to like, I don't know, jump the Grand Canyon or something, raise some money for cancer.
I don't know. Do something with it because I'm going to be half out of it anyway.
Help me full of morphine and do what you got to do. But.
For my directives, I am Gibbs. This is the Grand Canyon jump.
For for my advanced directives, I want my remains to be left all over somewhere nice and special,
but I don't want to be cremated. You sick fuck.
Oh, Jesus.
A garden do pip. Yes.
It's raining me. Wow. Thanks.
I suddenly don't want to go there.
Or maybe I can talk to Elon and see if I can be sent up on a missile or a rocket that's going to be rapid disassembled.
As assembled in space.
No, the next atmosphere.
Let's get on the next big flight that he's doing. I think it'll happen.
I'm glad you said that he's doing.
There's just be one of the next volunteers to Mars. I'm sure they're going to run into an issue.
Oh, yeah. Oh, God. Yeah. Yeah.
We don't want to become so green for them.
I mean, I'm thick enough. I could probably feed a few people.
Would that be a funny requirement?
Looking for people to go to Mars must be at least 35 percent body fat.
Must be willing to put in your will that you will be gone after you pass away.
Oh, God. Our whole our whole Discord server could set up. Oh, my God.
Oh, Jesus. Could you imagine right before you're going to pass away?
They're like, oh, stuffing food down your throat like a duck.
You're making this change the flavor.
Oh, man.
That that would be intense.
So you know, there is a company called Soylent Green that makes a like protein meal stuff.
Oh, yeah. Is it every time I walk by that in Walmart?
Yeah. Every time I walk by in Walmart, I'm going to so green is people.
But I've always wanted to try it. What's it to what?
They won't say stuff, but I mean, they won't say what do you mean?
They won't say I'm too afraid.
The taste is going to be so inconsistent and just change, you know, person to person.
I you know, I refrain from making any jokes because Jesus Christ.
Let's see.
Don't buy it in India. It will be spicy.
That's all I will tell you.
Good Lord. Now with Indian flavor.
Oh, God.
Well, for the ingredients, listen, extra spicy.
The ingredients list that they're showing online through Amazon.
It's a lot of big words.
Oh, there you go. It's extra healthy for you.
Yeah. It starts to filter water, however.
What's what's in my food? Big words. Big words.
Delicious. So you're eating a medical dictionary. Perfect. Nice.
Oh, absolutely. It's made of doctors.
It's got 13 percent carbohydrates.
I'm 13 percent carbohydrates. Oh, dear.
I'm way more than 13 percent carbohydrates. I guarantee you that.
Oh, yeah. You're a Thanksgiving waiting to happen.
Let's get back on topic.
Gibles, you were saying something about the people in like the police and even the veteran side.
Yeah. Having particular issues with some of this stuff.
Oh, absolutely. What was that?
Well, you have issues with, you know, of course, everybody knows the veterans, everything like that.
You know, when you come back from war and all those issues, it's been brow beating to death.
You know that we all have our issues.
But the biggest thing that I mean, I'm still dumbfounded to this day, at least on military side, is when, you know,
you call somebody from the government, like the VA or the Canadian side, and they don't kind of look at you like, really?
We'll give you some pills. We'll fix you for six months.
You'll be good. That's at least that's what I was told the first time I finally came forward and said, hey, I got a problem.
And I had some we all know. We all know that everybody from the government is here to help.
Oh, absolutely. I got some physician assistant who is just like, oh, we got group meetings.
We can do this, do that. And then I'm going to throw some pills at you.
You know, she didn't say it quite that way, but, you know, basically going to throw some pills at me in the next four to six months.
I'll be all better. All the boogeyman, quote unquote, will be gone and I'll be able to lead a normal life again.
And that was so far from the truth. It's not even funny.
Two years later, I literally did end up in a hospital for a week.
Yeah, a whole week.
I actually was man enough and told my wife what I was about to do.
And next thing I know, I had to please show up with an ambulance and I was dragged away from my house willingly, willingly.
But yeah, and ended up in the ER.
And eventually I was talking to doctors and getting help.
And from the police, I think I can look back now.
It's funny as heck. But I actually had being from D.C.
I had a young. Gentlemen from the mean streets of D.C. on East Anacostia, who decided I was crazier than he was.
Just from some of the stories I would tell. And we did our little group session.
I won't say nothing about any of them because not to put that out there.
But yeah, I was told I was the craziest one in the room and he never did come near me after that.
Not that I mind. It is just funny.
That works. Yeah. It's just when I got out, I was asked, you know, by a bunch of people, you know, how was it?
And I was like, well, I have been told by crazy people that I'm crazier than them and to stay away.
So I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
But I mean, I work as a police officer and seeing the things that I've seen, even from that side,
you can always tell, like, is someone serious or not?
The joke is always, you know, hey, did they give you a note? Then they're just crying for help.
It's actually fairly true. You know, the amount of times that I went to calls where, you know,
there was a written note and they're unconscious, they're still breathing.
But or they tried to cut themselves or whatever.
But, you know, left this long drawn out note of I'm so sorry and all that.
It's a cry for help. They're not serious. They're not really trying to do it.
And the ones that really were trying to do it, you just don't see coming.
It comes out of left field. And it was always like that.
You know, I'd show up to a scene, family members to strut because daughter, mother, father, son, whoever.
Aunt, uncle, you know, they're now.
The way I put it, just to help myself, I'd say 10 7 is with the police department.
Do you see when you're done for the night, you say 10 7. I'm going home.
So I'd see him. Oh, you went 10 7. Gotcha.
And the ones where, you know, they really were gone.
There was no note. There was no warning. There was no indication.
They just did it because they wanted to be done because of what?
I hate to say it. There's no in the U.S.
There's no way to talk to somebody when you really are serious about it and be like, you know, this is what I want.
I want the pain to go away. And no matter what you say to me, no matter what I do, it's not going to stop.
And unlike other European countries where they do have those avenues where they can say, look, I'm done.
I want out. We don't have that.
So then it comes as a shock to family because then all of a sudden, you know, daughter, son, whatever, decides screw it.
Life's not worth living. Nobody wants to listen to me or I feel like they don't want to listen to me.
Can't go to a doctor and tell them my problems so that I can have that option of euthanasia if I want.
And there's none of that discussion. It's all kept in the dark behind closed doors until all of a sudden it's too late and too late in the sense that, you know,
what if they do it in a way that is going to be ungodly painful?
I've seen scenarios where, you know, the ones who are serious, they cut themselves the right way and they bled out.
And hopefully, hopefully it was peaceful, you know, because you pass out from loss.
But you have others are like, screw it. I'm going to take pills.
And depending on the pills you take, that could be really, really painful way to go.
Yeah, I mean, we even had a gentleman decide to commit suicide jumping off the bridge in D.C. over by Georgetown wrapped an electrical cord around his neck,
slashed his stomach open, took a nose dive off the bridge.
Unfortunately for him, I recorded cord snapped and he hit the water died two weeks later from the infection from the river.
Oh, yeah. Jesus. Having having an option to have a euthanasia program probably would help a lot of people.
So something like that does. Well, the shit of it is in D.C. that's allowed.
So they just know about it. Yeah, it's again.
It seems like it's one of those taboo. Nobody really wants to talk about it.
Well, I guess there's not a lot of stigma, but I wonder if the medical assumption is again, I'm fortunate I've never had to deal with these things.
So I have more questions than answers.
But I wonder, I guess in the medical community in America, the assumption would be if somebody is considering suicide, that all options are off the table and that kind of the system has failed or whatever.
I wonder if they just never deal with it because they assume we're done here.
It's like all the doctors and psychologists and everybody like, yep, there's nothing we can do this person.
They want to kill themselves. You know, it's out of our hands.
Whereas if we had a system to where that was allowed, at least there'll be medical processes they would have to go through to speak with somebody and to maybe rectify this because in an ideal world, the hope would be the only people that ever would actually go through that option.
People that are genuinely suffering from something that we cannot help them with.
And that would maybe stop the vast, vast majority of all of it, which would be great because I hate as you open it up with you know that it's a permanent solution, a temporary problem.
And unfortunately for so many people, the good thing is we can do so much to help them.
But it's also sad that our medical community, once somebody gets too far gone for them, once they're in inconvenience, whether it be for doctors or psychologists, they just kind of drop them and they say, not for me.
Nothing I can do. Oh, well, figure it out.
Whereas in other countries, they do so much more.
That's where among the medical community.
You need more people like him or hate him.
Like Dr. Jack Kevorkian.
I see you laughing over there, Gibles.
Oh yeah.
You knew he was coming up.
Yeah, I did.
Yeah.
So, for those who may not know Dr. Jack Kevorkian was nicknamed Dr. Death.
He was most known for the 130 patients plus that he assisted with their medical suicide throughout his career.
He was eventually arrested and tried for us. He was tried for murder and eventually convicted.
The last patient that he assisted, he actually had to push the plunger and deliver the medicine himself.
All the rest of his patients.
They did it themselves.
The patient that he did it for, he had ALS and he was physically incapable of doing it himself.
So he asked the doctor to do it for him.
The family was around. They all agreed this is what he wanted.
It was not murder. It was his decision, his choice.
He just couldn't physically do it.
So, like him or not, he was out there doing what he thought was some good for the world.
At least in this sense.
And like you said, that guy that jumped off the bridge with an open gut.
Someone like this could have been out there and could have helped him not do that.
Two weeks of suffering would have not been had if there was a doctor out there to walk them through a better process.
Exactly.
I mean, not to put my tin foil hat on for a second.
The only reason I could think of is anybody beyond the whole religious aspect is its power.
You're talking about the ultimate power over a human life.
And you're taking away another person's ability to tell you what you can and cannot do.
And the moment you're like, hey, I want to take my life because I can't deal with this anymore.
Now you're taking what unquote power away from someone who's in charge.
You know, the more people they're in charge of, the better they feel.
So, of course, why would I want people to be able to off themselves morally and from a political standpoint?
Honestly, I take my hat off now.
I again, I have to show a lot of empathy because I'm from a very lucky position where I've never had to deal with something like that.
Where it considers to suicide or like any sort of great suffering to that effect.
But I guess you also have to serve some method to say like if somebody truly wanted that to happen, I find it very hard on my end to tell someone that they shouldn't.
Like, don't be wrong. I don't think people should kill themselves.
Don't be wrong. But if you're at the point where you go through the process and medically like need that or want that, there's no way to know how much somebody else is suffering unless you've been through that.
So as much as I'm morally dislike the idea of medically assisted suicide, I look at it as the waste of a human potential.
But the same point, if it's somebody that's truly suffering, somebody that has no quality of life, it's this kind of balancing act where it becomes suffering and quality of life.
Once that kind of goes the other direction that I totally understand.
Like, let me give you an example.
Let's say you had a disease that it's it's only symptom was it just fired your pain receptors.
24 seven.
All you felt was like level 10 pain throughout every inch of your body.
But nothing else was wrong with you.
Is there a way medically to get around that?
No.
Well, then you're kind of incapacitated at that point.
You can't. Yeah, because I was getting ready to say at some point your your brain is not going to be able to handle it anymore.
You ain't gonna be able to do anything.
Yeah. Okay.
But under current medical definitions, they'll just treat the pain.
That's all they'll do is they will try to treat the pain.
You're going to go insane.
We imagine being on like heavy narcotics, then to be able to counteract that you're not going to be a human at that point.
Or best case, medically induce a coma and then you're just a vegetable.
I mean, or let's just say, OK, maybe it's not 24 seven.
Maybe it cycles like a sine wave.
So you get moments of reprieve, but you know it's going to come back.
Yeah, that's not nice.
Like, no. What if it was day to day?
Like literally one day you're like you are right now today, but you knew tomorrow it was going to be like a seven and eight, a nine.
And there was nothing, no painkiller on the market that you could take to even dull it down.
But I know I mean, I would say all my options, but.
Obviously, exhaust the options try.
But once you've done all that, once you've jumped through your hoops.
At the end of the day, you're you're 2829 years old.
Would you want to go into the 60 years in that cycle?
No. Not multiple injuries I deal with every day. Ain't no way I would do that.
Exactly. I would last probably a couple of months and then say, fuck this.
Exactly. You know, I guess that that's the problem.
Those are those are the situations that I'm really talking about.
Yeah, the extreme cases.
But that's fine. I'm not I'm not sitting here saying, oh, I feel sad.
No, get fucking help.
Like, yeah. Oh, I stubbed my toe. Fuck your face. Get help.
But it it's serious. And I do wish I I wish that therapy in general was way less stigmatized, especially way more available.
Yeah. Well, that's that's true, too. Yeah, I've been lucky.
I've never needed it. But I do know a couple of friends that like,
especially the guys, they've struggled finding therapists that work for them because the majority of therapists are women.
And unfortunately, like, I don't want to sound like a jerk here, but there's a lot of female therapists that have a hard time understanding what some guys go through.
It's like, how how could a male therapist tell a woman what she's going through if there's certain things?
Yeah, it's very different.
One of the other big issues with therapy is the financial barrier that prevents access to the mental health that's needed by so many people.
I'm. Y'all know where I sit politically, but I kind of feel like some of this shit should just be kind of tacked on to what we already pay in our taxes.
Well, it's it's kind of like a high need on the scale.
Well, more importantly, why at this point when it comes to like insurance companies, we're spending all this money on medical insurance every year and they're getting shit out of it.
Yeah, I felt like this is call me a little crazy, but I've always felt like if we had had therapists, licensed therapists in high school and middle school with kids grow up and got them used to like seeing a licensed therapist once every few months, three months, six months as a check in.
They had an honest talk and that way by the time kids or adults, they're used to seeing one on a regular.
They would know how to reach out and they would be given some resources, given some people to talk out to at least have someone to reach out to, because unfortunately, as much as we love the idea of everybody having great parents growing up, so many people know what happened.
So many people brought up in broken households or parents that are damaged and had severe issues and they don't know how to communicate and unfortunately usually gets worse as the generations go down.
So if you got a generation of parents that really can't discuss their emotional issues, hate to say it, but usually kids end up far worse.
So at least that's just my experience. So be normalizing them talking to someone that's outside of their immediate circle about these things would help greatly.
And also, it would kind of help if a lot of doctors and again, especially in my experience as a male, if doctors took your mental health seriously when they do a physical checkup also like, hey, how you doing?
Are you struggling with anything? Anything? You've had a problem?
Because I'll be honest as a guy like, OK, I'll talk about this, for example. It's not quite but it's something very similar.
I had some blood work done and I told my doctor, like, hey, I'm not feeling right. And he looked at me and he's like, what do you mean you're not feeling right?
I'm like, well, I just don't feel as strong as I used to as energetic. And he was like, looking at me, mind you, you guys have met me. I am not a small man.
I'm a very masculine guy. I still left. I'm still very strong. And he's like, looking at you, you're fine. I guarantee it. I said, like, no, like I know something is wrong.
They had to do the blood draw twice because they thought they made a mistake and they're like, oh, my God, you have some things we got to figure out.
And mind you, this has been an ongoing process for several years. Try to get someone to listen.
And thankfully, it's not anything medically. It's just purely it's vitamins and other stuff going on that are incorrect. But nobody would believe me.
Nobody. I'm like, bro, I live here. I know something's wrong. I guess I could. I pilot this meat robot. There is something not right.
This next suit is broken. I need help. Exactly.
So even with something as simple, something they could physically all they had to do was do one test to figure it out. I cannot imagine what it would be like for somebody that generally does have a mental illness or a serious issue or something going on and people not taking them seriously.
That that must be a whole level of infuriating, but also must discourage so many people from saying anything.
And that's why we would even have this conversation in the first place.
So the last time I was at my doctor, they were like, so how is everything going? I was like, like shit. And he just kind of got laughed and then moved on to the next question.
And that was that it's like, I'm literally telling you, things are not great. And you just told me you didn't give a shit.
Yeah, and they should not have handled it like that.
It was you know, they mentioned I do remember that this was like three years ago during Covid.
I went in for a checkup and the only thing they asked five, five years later, like during like the like the middle part of Covid because of my state, my state didn't lift the Covid restrictions until like a year ago or like a year and a half ago.
So for me, I don't look over for a while because my state's full of a bunch of communists. But beside the point that that I will keep on the podcast and I will not apologize for that. But but the I remember when I when I went for a checkup, all they did for mental health was to give you a sheet.
And it said rate your mental health on a scale of one to 10. And one was like extremely unhappy and 10 was really happy.
And that was it. Besides that, I checked marks like a seven or like a seven or an eight because like it was Covid. I wasn't exactly the happiest person, but like all things considered, I was fine.
And they looked at it and they're like, all right. And they literally threw it out.
Like the woman at the front desk grabbed it was like, oh, and I remember speaking to someone else being like, why did they throw it out? They're like, well, it wasn't a one.
I'm like, what do you mean it wasn't what? Like, yeah, well, that that would be, you know, they would then follow up with more questions if you wrote a one like saying you were mentally like terrible.
It's like that. That's what it takes to get a checkup. That's what it takes for somebody to be like, yeah, maybe we should talk to this person, brah.
Uh huh.
If you're that far down, then.
Thank you're on your way out and yeah, I'm I'm a little past the frowny face at that point, you know. Yeah.
Well, what I'm getting at is like if you're if you're averaging a day out and you're thinking you're at the doctor's office just chilling, even if you're at like a two or three, I still that warrants in my mind.
At least I'm look at that warrants like a let's have a discussion even at five, even at a seven or less.
Yeah, you check in with people like as you guys know, like I sent people texts all the time, be like, hey, just check in if I don't hear from people for a while.
Like how you doing? How's everything going?
And thankfully, I'm lucky with like our group that we all check in often and we all see each other often.
But like I would think with medical professionals, they take a little bit of time.
I just say like, how you doing? Be a friendly face.
Now they're too busy getting their pill pusher bonuses to do that.
Yeah, it's disgusting. I'm lucky with I'm lucky with the VA open area.
Those guys have been very helpful.
I don't have a comment about the VA.
You have you actually that? Wow. I know.
I know several people that like despise their first folks.
So you actually hold on. I you've actually had a positive experience with the VA.
And when I came to your EPA, yeah, no doubt Maryland and all that.
Oh, yeah, it was horrible.
Like I said, they tried they tried to push pills on me.
Everything. Oh, it was terrible down in Maryland.
I couldn't they're so backlog.
So in some ways, I don't feel bad of how it went.
But at the same time, it's frustrating that that's just how it was.
And nobody really questioned it.
I mean, just moving from Maryland up to your EPA when they told the VA, hey, look, address is changing.
Well, why didn't you do it online?
We tried. It wouldn't change.
That was the response to my wife and I got just the stereotypical, you know,
that's been the response I've gotten whenever I've tried to call the VA.
Yeah. Really? Why didn't you do it online?
I tried. Yeah, I'm calling you because I tried to do that.
It's like the typical, hey, did you try to turn it off and turn it on again?
I'm calling you because I did.
You mean to tell me something that's government run isn't run that well.
I know. Shocker.
But again, government and they're here to help you clutch.
I came to I came out to your EPA and I'm telling you, oh, my gosh, it was like a breath of fresh air.
Mind you, they probably got their problems just like everywhere else, but from where I came from to their holy crap,
the major difference, the problems they have versus the problems you're coming from acceptable.
Yeah, basically.
That's I mean, there's people around here that complain about them all the time.
And I'm like, those are pretty minuscule issues you're bitching about.
Yeah, I was. I don't like it. I'm like, you should have came from where I came from.
I mean, shoot, I'd be sitting in the inside when after I got injured on the job
and I'm sitting at the front desk with a bunch of other officers and one of them was like, yeah, I went to the VA, you know, talks to the doctors.
And they're like, oh, my brother, you know, let's go ahead and get over on the white man.
I'm going to write you all these things so you can get your disability check.
Yeah, that happened.
It still happens down in like the Baltimore region.
But I will not say anything further to that because I ain't trying to get in the way in trouble.
It does go to show, though, that like.
Everything a lot of things in life are matter of perspective, and people don't understand like how good or bad things could be in an area, depending on to you have something to compare it to.
And so like I'm assuming the area you're coming from had a lot of other more substantial or systemic issues, whereas now you're in an area that's probably a lot better.
I mean, fiscally or, you know, socially.
Yeah, let's be real.
D.C. has a lot of systemic issues.
Period. Yeah. No.
Oh, my God. It's just the amount of people that don't have jobs because they get a government checks and they sit around all day, do nothing.
And then because they're doing nothing, they get bored.
So then either they're committing crime or they're picking on each other and going through domestic.
It is what it is.
So what I'm hearing is you voted for it. You enjoyed your time in the police department.
That's I'm willing to live with the pain and frustration of having to walk with a cane and having my right knee messed up for the rest of my life.
So I don't have to go go back to God forsaken city.
It's like real life Gotham.
Oh, my.
All the. Oh, what was that movie with Wayne, the Wayne brothers where they made their own superhero using blank man.
That's what they need in D.C.
I used to love that movie. What blank man like you don't know about blank man.
No. Oh, it's good. That's a terrible name.
What you're going to slap them and call them Susan.
Uh huh. You got to look that one up, Gibbs. I'll get apparently I missed it.
Yeah. Yeah. I feel like every episode I learned some new cultural reference that I'm not aware of.
That's great. Imagine that dude member Steve Urkel.
Do you remember him? Yeah. Yeah. Imagine if he became a superhero.
What? Yeah. No. Yes. Yes. No. Yes.
Why would he be a superhero? He's not threatening at all. Exactly.
Oh, no. Just yeah. Blank man was nothing but a super genius in the ghetto.
And he come up with this liquid that was for like detergent or whatever and found out it was better than Kevlar.
So we put it on. He dipped a one adult onesie.
Yeah. His pajamas, an adult onesie dipped it in and they made a little mask out of a sock.
Dip that in there. And that's what he ran around as.
All right. I got to watch this tonight.
This is yes. Oh, it's hilarious. Is the best.
It's like a B movie kind of thing or like, oh, yeah, yeah, absolutely.
I mean, it's a 90s. Yeah, 90s. Yes.
Wayne's Wayne's Brothers production. So, yeah, solid B movie. Yeah.
I got to watch that. Yes.
It affects where is so the effects really weren't that bad because it was all, you know, no computer generated graphics.
Really? It's I think it will still hold up. So you'll enjoy it.
Probably holds up at least as well as idiocracy. Yeah. God.
If there's a movie I could tell anybody listens podcast to watch. Watch that document.
Yes. Scariest documentary ever made.
He interrupted me while I was watching my porn's.
I was baiting.
Yes. All right. So you Gibles mentioned I'm trying not to go too far off topic.
You mentioned 3D printing of a device. Yeah. The Sarco pod.
The Sarco pod that is like on Futurama, the suicide booth.
You know, yeah, it's a mis euthanasia device or machine consisting of a 3D print detachable capsule.
And with that, you know, liquid nitrogen or inert gas fixation with that.
But I see that and I'm just like, you have to be really determined if you're going to start 3D printing something out like that.
That reminds me of the shotgun shell helmet. Oh, yeah.
What's that kid was so? Yeah, I was so smart.
He he even had a bat mechanical backup to that.
Uh huh. Which was I just he was determined.
You don't know about the shotgun shell helmet. No.
Or Gibbs. No. Have you ever seen an episode of Rick and Morty?
Because that helmet is in the Rick's garage. What? Yeah. Yeah.
You're going to have to send me links later. I have to look.
I'm looking it up now. Shotgun helmet is definitely a DIY project.
But yeah, it was this this poor child was this kid was he yeah, he was he was trying.
There you go. But yeah, Rick has a version of the shotgun shell helmet in his garage.
And by the way, I'm not sure if I'm going to link all this stuff on the discord being that it's so touchy, maybe in the dark humor section.
But I don't know. Yeah, we also don't want to like get in trouble. Right.
Because that's why you could talk about we just don't go in detail. Exactly.
Wow. Somebody really, really went through with that. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. He didn't need the backup.
We had a mechanical backup in case it didn't work. Yes. The Kurt Cobain helmet.
Yeah. Well, wasn't it like spring loaded action for the backup in case it didn't go off?
Something to that nature. Yeah. Yeah.
I feel like that's a lot of effort, though, to put in. Like that's.
Yeah. Like you've you've got to really want to do this.
The same with the Sarco pod. I mean, if you're taking the time to 3D print this thing for yourself, especially, I mean, you're you're going through and making this thing and making sure it's going to work so that you can gas yourself via, you know, 1940s.
You know, Europe.
Yeah. Inspiration.
You don't have your faithful as I see, you know, you you will suddenly become life impaired if you jump into the Sarco pod.
Yeah. Your subscription to air has expired.
Yes. But how do you mean?
I mean, it's how do you make it is one way. I don't know.
How do you make it? That's like something 3D print something that's like airtight like that.
Lots of glue and rubber seal off the shelf. It's rubber rubber gaskets. Yeah. Yeah.
If you take it since I've been dabbling with it when I made a Christmas one and took two pieces of plastic together with the filament. Yeah.
Well, heat gun right together. It was better than glue.
Uh huh. You just have to be careful holding it too long because it deforms the plastic. So yeah, you know, that's a little sidebar.
You know, the other option that's been popular among the the interwebs, the euthanasia coaster.
That is something that I think probably should be built if it hasn't been.
Have you ever seen this guys? Yeah, I have.
Yes, they had somebody try to recreate that on the planet coaster on game.
We talked about that last night. That's a roller coaster that lets you let you die while having a good time.
Oh, yeah. Supposedly, it's supposed to be fun because you don't really feel the death coming on.
But you you only feel the first what loop and then after that you pass out. Yeah.
I feel like at that point they could at least include like a machine giving a handy or something like that.
I don't know. Let you go out in style, right? Coming and going at the same time. Am I right, fellas?
It's like every once in a while you get one of those episodes on TV where, you know, the doctor comes in and helps, you know, helps somebody out.
What kind of TV are you watching? Jesus. Well, there was the one episode.
I don't think it was Doc, the house or house or something. It was like some episode where. Yeah, it's probably.
It was something. Gray's Anatomy, maybe. Yeah, it might have been that one.
You know, the kids dying and featuring Johnny Sins. Yeah.
We're freaking. Oh, no. This one was where the kid was about to lose his eyesight because his one eye was already gone and his eyesight was going in his other one.
So they convinced us one female doctor to hey, before he loses his eyesight, you know, he should be able to have a chance to see something.
So she flashed him before, you know. Nice. He lost his sight. That was nurse.
Oh, God. Is that what I think? I'm on this, Jackie. I think that was nurse Jackie, I think.
Yeah, I could be wrong, but I think so. Yeah.
But, you know, there'll be people out there be like, oh, no, she should be arrested. Are you kidding me?
That's going to be the last thing you see. Given a fucking bonus. Right.
She didn't just take one for the team. She took one for, you know, that's going to be he's that's all he's ever going to think about ever again. Exactly.
Last thing I got to see, titties.
Titties.
That's the best thing a guy can wish for. It's going to be whether it's the last thing I think about or the last thing someone shows me.
Either way, it's going to be about a bite regardless. So, yeah, that's not going to change. I'm sorry.
Let's sidebar for a second. If I'm laying on my deathbed, if I have an extra 30 seconds, if I can get a set of nice titties in my face before I go out, I would take that option to go out.
Oh, yeah. My girlfriend and I have already discussed this. She knows the terms.
I mean, if God forbid, if I'm still single there, I will just talk to the nurse and say, hey, I've got money in my wallet. You can have it. Just come here. Let me motorboat my way out of here.
You got this brand new service right there. It's not even prostitution at that point. You're just. Yeah, I'm just leaving them a tip.
It can't be prostitution if you're not alive. Exactly.
I. Oh, yeah. Oh, this episode is going all over the place. That's half the fun of it, though. You know, I know we have we purposely we do. We have some episodes that are very focused and some we just let the tism guide us. It's fine.
Oh, yes.
You know, it's too bad we couldn't get John DiMaggio on here for some Bender references for the Sarcopod. Oh, my God.
Oh, she's the suicide booth off of Futurama. Oh, my God. That would have been maybe in the future. Great.
Maybe in the future. Yes. We'll figure that one out. A little fun on the bun.
Oh, I fucking love the show.
It's a astoundingly prophetic show.
Yeah. Well, Futurama not so much prophetic, but the Simpsons. Yes, that one is the prophetic show. That one's scary. The same guy. That's that's the scary part.
Right.
Matt Grimley is a fucking time traveler. I will never be convinced of otherwise.
You remember the Nicolas Cage movie where it was like numbers or some crap like that and all the numbers were. Yeah, knowing that's it. That's why I look at the Simpsons at some point when the Simpsons ends. What? How's it going to end?
You know, well, our buddy who I'm not going to name him, but you all know he's recently gotten into conspiracy stuff pretty heavy.
He just sent me a thing saying, showing that the world will end in May of this year. No, it's not. Oh, May 27 or something like that. I'm like, you know, that really sucks. That's my birthday weekend. Damn it.
I hope to have plans.
If it ends after your birthday, then that's fine.
Yeah, but still, it's it's my weekend. Like, I'll be off from work that weekend. That's Memorial Day weekend, too. I'll be doing shit.
Well, did he say like how it's going to happen or does this not know?
I think he said, I just don't remember. I think it was in one of his now becoming infamous Twitter texts.
Oh, my God. I love the dude, but he's getting he's getting tinfoil Hattie real quick. Oh.
Oh.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I've noticed on my Instagram. It's gone that direction.
I have not had the time to go through because this dude sends me so much stuff on Instagram that for past needs to get laid, I think.
I don't think he's done that since the bathroom incident. Oh, yeah.
Oh, the infamous bathroom. Oh, good God. Oh, man.
What are these days? Share that on somehow. We'll get him on and share it.
Yep.
Is it am I going to have to come back for that one, too?
Hopefully, we'll just get like a big group episode on that. Well, that's what I was thinking. We could do a group episode of the funniest stories and different things we've all had happen.
So we'll just be talking about the courtroom.
Yeah, basically.
Gotta be careful with that courtroom though.
Oh, without the one text, I think it.
Yeah, without context, that courtroom is dangerous. So that. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. So for for for anybody listening, we have on our other discord, a quote room where we've just, you know, snapshot conversations that we've had throughout the course of life and whatnot.
Just some really funny bullshit has come out of what we talk about some nights, misspeakings and whatnot, like Gibbs, we got one night, orbiting the earth.
Yeah. That's been one of our favorite. Don't kick a man while he's fat.
That was that was. Yeah.
Or take pride. Your mic stand lasted longer than my marriage.
We have entire conversations that have led up to those. And I think we all remember most of those conversations because they were just hilarious.
Yeah. Yeah.
This podcast version of us is a very censored version of us. So if we got the whole group together, that'll be fun.
Yes and no. I'm very much me in this podcast, but.
Yeah. Or Mr. Rogers flipping off the camera.
Yeah. Yes. Yes. I am Mr. Rogers flipping off the camera here.
But we do have our limitations, obviously, for the show, because. Yeah. Yeah.
Certain things just not worth not worth getting to an argument with strangers on the Internet as much as I love it.
I used to love it during during covid, but not.
That's what I lived for, man. Oh, you kid me.
You remember when I first joined the server way back in the day?
Like I started making jokes and immediately piss someone off.
I think that I try to remember that dude's name.
I started making dead baby jokes and also I made everybody angry.
Oh, no, no. You just made that one specific person angry.
That was what's his name's brother, wasn't it?
Yep. Yep. Yeah. Yeah.
Mm hmm. Made me think for a second. Oh, man.
Maybe these guys aren't in the same wavelength as me. Oh, crap. No, no, no. We were. He wasn't.
Yeah. Basically, with our with our with our server, if you're free to leave, put it that way.
If you don't like it, we have a very fun. It's basically a call of duty lobby.
Yes. Yeah. No squeakers.
No, no, no. We are kind of the no, especially especially not now because, you know, my son has his voice has dropped about four fricking tones.
Hi, Daddy. Yeah.
You know, you know, what's funny, though, the other day when you show us a photo of you and him after him driving, the only thing I could think of was your guys' facial expression was fear and loathing in Las Vegas.
Yeah, I meant my my 13 year old. His his voice has dropped. Nice.
Yeah. But yes, I took my oldest out driving. He's finally gotten his his permit and we survived.
I mean, hobos, did you kill to do to hobos? OK.
Funny enough, there's a homeless center right across the street from where we were practicing.
Oh, my God. That's amazing.
I'm just joking about it and come to find out. Yeah, there really are homeless people over there.
They're not homeless. They're non-consensual speed bumps. Get it right.
Oh, yeah. Sorry about that. I was being too PC.
Yeah. Yeah, that's why I was I was toying around with words to use for tonight.
I was like, you know, I could use life impaired or, you know, living disabled or something like that.
No, no. I actually like like on a side tangent.
I really hate the amount of times that like we have to censor what we mean in order to make some people not get like offended.
Well, in my opinion, I find it actually very insulting to people that have gone through suicidal issues where it makes it almost infantilizes it,
whereas like it should be spoken about the way it is and it should be taken seriously.
I find it very, very again, some of that's never been through it.
I just find it very insulting to be like, so we're going to talk about people on alive in themselves.
Like, no, no, you're you're trivializing it.
Now, I'll admit, I will use the phrase rage quit when I'm talking to people just because I don't know how they're going to react to the word suicide.
But I know most people understand the phrase rage quit.
So, yeah. Well, as my wife likes to say, I'm an asshole.
So, you know, my stance on it, you know, care about what I had to say anyways, and you get upset.
I'm just going to look at you and be like, OK, I guess we're going this way.
Yeah, because I'm not.
Yeah. If you can't talk about something as serious as that without going through a Karen moment, probably shouldn't even be worth talking to anyways.
I hate to say it, but I'm not going to disagree.
Yeah, you know, you got to be able to talk about the serious stuff in life and be serious about it and talk about what it is.
And I mean, look at us. This is a serious enough topic and we still been able to get some jokes in tonight.
Oh, yeah. Have some laughs and have some fun.
Oh, let me tell you, because I know it's serious, I'm biting my tongue because I just want to keep going.
Oh, I can say so much silly crap.
Oh, my God. A science things I've seen and done over the years that you all seen.
Oh, yeah, it is serious.
You have to behave yourself sometimes.
But also, I think to to wrap up a nice little bow, some of the best medicine for any of these problems is laughter
and being able to laugh and talk about these things and to take it both seriously, but also be able to have a good time about it
and spend time with friends and people and stuff like that.
That that is also important, too.
Yeah. Yep. Yeah.
If you have a chance and a way to just get one or two people that you can trust and just kind of vent to that, that can literally make the difference.
Oh, yeah. But what was there anything else you guys wanted to chime in on?
I think we've hit pretty much everything we wanted to bring up tonight.
Yeah, I think I know I brought up my points.
I just more or less want to hear what you two had to say, because I know you two had more dealt with that topic.
You know, I my family hasn't really ever dealt with that nor my immediate friends. So.
Yeah, I was more of a listener in this one.
OK, yeah. Like I said, it's just from my experience with the police and even the military is.
Yeah, it affects everybody, not just like they always say, it's an issue for the community in a way.
You're not just affecting family, you're affecting friends, you're affecting their family because now they're looking at their family members who are friends with you.
They're like, you know, why are you so down? Yeah.
Got such an attention, I was starting to lean away from everything.
Yeah, it's like I said, it's a permanent solution to what very often is a temporary situation.
And unless it's a medical issue, reach out and get help if you need.
And Gibles, I'd like to thank you for hopping on with us tonight. Oh, absolutely. Enjoyed the fresh perspective.
So I enjoyed the fact that I actually could talk to you while you're doing this and I'm not screaming at my monitor.
The person on the computer just yelled at it.
Right. I've done that. That happened the other day when I was driving and I was listening, I was like, oh, I want to say something so bad, but I can't.
All right. Well, thanks again to everybody that's been listening.
Keep the feedback coming.
And I'll close out tonight's episode with something that hits home for a lot of people and a lot of nights.
It's a line from one of my favorite Disturbed songs. It's called The Light.
When you think all is forsaken, darkness can show you the light.
So with that, we'll catch you all next time.
Thank you.