Trash Planet contains themes of desperation and
poverty. We portray a comedic absurd and violent
world. For a full list of content warnings, please
see the episode description. So this is maybe
the most difficult mission we've taken on, so
I would like to acquire an asset. And I noticed
that Tank has a fancy new skimmer from Trent
Dort, so hopefully I can get a similar favor
or something of the like. Maybe not favor, but,
you know, convince Trent to give us more assets
to complete his little theft from the grinders.
Whoa, you're gonna go hit up Trent Dort? Uh,
yeah. He gave me contact info. Yeah, yeah, so
pager numbers. Yeah Probably like i'll let him
know i'm coming I don't want it to be like I
don't he's not the type of guy who would take
kindly to me showing up at his doorstep unannounced
I don't think that's my assumption. I don't know
if that's true. Yeah, what do you page him? probably
something like Like omw 6 p .m. Type of thing,
you know Connie Connie hits him with the uo So
I think what you get in response is completely
unintelligible. Like it's all the, you know,
when you Receive an emoji that your phone can't
handle and it gives you like the black square
Because you have an old -ass pager that is not
equipped for whatever he's texting you back with
If you'd shown this to Petra, you would immediately
know that that's what this is is like a busted
emoji Like he like emoji reacted to it to your
80s ass pager. Uh, so yeah, but for now I just
have a big busted screen. So so but what I do
see is probably what I notice is acknowledgement
of Absolutely. Yeah, so I don't know what he
said, but saw that I said that, so we're gonna
go to Trent Dord's house. Who's we? Yeah, what's
the plan? What time of day is it also? Based
on the other stuff that happened during downtime
that it's like, you know, early evening. We're
heading there such that we arrive in the evening
late at night, or not late at night. Oh, yeah,
630. Yeah, around then. Okay. Evening rush at
the Screamin' Slice, Halberd working on the grill,
Janouche just getting up, he's yawning. Who are
you bringing with you to speak to Trent Dort?
I will ask the group. I'm gonna go to Lottie
first, I think, and just explain the situation.
Like, hey, we need some badass equipment, probably.
So would you want to join, maybe, you know, grease
the wheels a little bit with Trent, helping get
something more material for this mission? Connie,
with all due respect, I'd rather die. Die? Okay.
Enla, I don't want to do this alone. I'll go
with you. I mean, I need more material for my
next musical, so maybe it can be about Trent.
You're gonna interview him? I think there's lots
of things I can inference or maybe pilfer to
get more information about him. You know what,
I could use the company, so sure. Awesome! Hey,
Tank, Dort gave you a very nice skimmer for seemingly
nothing, right? Like, just to do this mission?
Well, obviously it was because I'm a dickball
star now. That's how endorsements work, Connie.
Wait! You're officially endorsed No, but like,
you know, oh you think okay, it's like a like
a booster kind of thing. I assume tank You're
doing a chore right now. What are you doing?
Yeah, so tank has a barkeepers friend and he's
kind of just like like a flower girl just like
Like not really doing anything to actually use
the barkeepers friend He just thinks you kind
of put it somewhere in it stuff up. Nice The
point is it seems like Trent likes you. So would
you want to come along to his place? We could,
we could use some more people like endless already.
And, but I, the more of us that are there, you
know, the better our chances are of not getting
shot in the back of the head. We definitely don't
want that. So. Okay. I'll go. Good. Can we take
your skimmer? Uh, no, certainly not. Tank's afraid
that if he goes back with the skimmer, Doris
can take it back. A reasonable fear. And the
camera cuts to all of us packed under our skimmer,
the bad skimmer, Lottie's skimmer. It's pretty
okay. It's an okay skimmer. Lottie somewhere
is scowling at me. Natalie's right here scowling
at you. Like we said, it's difficult to get into
uptown and as you're crossing over these Barricades
and boundaries and pathways and people looking
down at you from what looks like sniper towers
This is normal. This is how it is. They don't
like people traveling between zones in fresco
And you're noticing a lot of Johnny law you're
noticing black uniforms You're seeing a few wing
brands on the side of a face No, but it's not
the guy that Lottie tangled with but there's
other Johnny's around you haven't seen this kind
of presence before But that's not your problem
right now because you're going to dork mansion
and you're asking directions You're how where
is it and you were told again and again, you'll
know it when you see it Which turns out to be
the case because as you get closer and closer
to the middle chips You start seeing a big shape
on the distance And the biggest shape you see
is the largest chip that towers over fresco These
are the huge ceramic shards that are like 10
or 12 stories high They fell off of orbital platform
many, many years ago. And now they keep the city
safe from trash. And the best real estate is
just on the bottom, because you're least likely
to be hit by orbital trash, right? So right at
the bottom, nestled in there, you see what looks
like an explosion of buildings. It's a bunch
of little things in different architectural styles,
packed in there, crammed in there at crazy angles,
as if someone has thrown them in there scattershot.
None of them make sense together. of a church
right next to like a squat brick square building
you see what looks like an elegant white stone
kind of ziggurat thing and that's that connects
to what appears to be like an old log cabin some
of it looks like just drywall and shit it's like
open to the elements it's unfinished what's that
about but at the dead center of it you see a
big metal thing and You're like, okay, this is
the most noticeable thing in town. It's absolutely
surrounded by expensive skimmers that nobody
is stealing. A lot of them have the keys right
in the thing. And on top of this, so in a lot
of places, people will live on the chips themselves.
People will climb up there with, like, pitons?
Is that how you say that? Rock climbing pitons.
PITONS. PITONS. PITONS. PITONS. PITONS. PITONS.
PITONS. A piton. A piton. Exactly. You'll see
people like chip up there and they'll sling up
hammocks and bunks and whatever. With what? Are
they doing it? A piton. So normally you have
people living up there. Above Trent's Place you
don't see any kind of settlement because what
you do see is two automatic turrets that are
just sort of scanning back and forth ambiently.
As you're approaching you watch a plastic bag
fly over. They just they light that fucker up.
Yeah, it's good security here at Tort Mansion.
Yeah, what's your move? You see what looks like,
you know, there's the ring of expensive skimmers
just parked in a line. There's an entryway that
goes through this crazy cavalcade of like little
structures. Yeah, what's the move? So I assume
there's enough space to park the skimmer somewhere
in this ring. Yeah. I don't trust door security,
so we do take the keys with us. I feel like we
just walk up to the front door, the front entrance
thing. That's not in the way. We would have known
if the sentries reacted to us, right? Yeah. I
mean, it seems tilted up. You're not too worried
about those things swiveling and shooting you
guys. It really seems aimed at keeping hammocks.
Off of his property. Yeah. Yeah, so if I'm not
worried about those I just I think we want to
walk up to the to the front entrance You knock?
Nothing happens. How long do you wait? I know
about that some of the things rich people have
I look around for a device if there is one to
like signal that we've arrived You don't notice
a device you do notice a pile of like fiber optic
cables and shit looks uninstalled on the floor
somewhere the cables are running from inside
the yeah like up through the ground just out
oh huh can i tinker with them yay do it i just
got tinker so i know it's one that's a five yes
okay this is a controlled standard by the way
um okay so you have a success and you have a
disadvantage what do you want to do with these
fiber optic cables I want to know that I want
to be able to infer or hopefully infer that they
do control the mechanisms of the door. So being
able to kind of like fiddle with them until we
can create a false doorbell and or open up the
door. Amazing. Okay. We see for the first time
as Enla pulls out her iconic device. It's like
a cool little like hacker flip phone thing. It's
very chunky. She built it herself. It is shaped
like a creature. What kind of creature? A gunk
snake. A gunk snake. It's chunky. No hesitation.
Incredible. And you flip this out, plug it in,
you're fiddling around. Feeling pretty good.
You got it. You know what this is. This is a
security system. It's a really nice security
system. Your old tech is barely able to interface
with it. The other notable thing about it is
that it's connected at two points, like somewhere
in front of you, and this door in front of you
is not computerized in any way. And so you open
the door, and it's just open. It's not even locked.
Oh, well. All that effort for nothing I guess.
Well good to know that you can do that for if
we need it. I will walk in and I'm gonna call
out I don't like the last thing I want to be
seen as here is a trespasser. Yeah what do you
say? So uh I'll just say like hello anyone in
this mansion? As you're walking through um you're
seeing corridors to nowhere you're seeing a couple
of doorways that are There's no door, you know,
there's clearly supposed to be a door, connects
to some other part of it, unfinished. You see
gloves, workmanship, half built, just abandoned,
right? And you can't really tell how long it's
all been there. Could be yesterday, could have
been a long time ago. So there's doors all out
in front of you. You're in a maze type situation.
Please give me a role. This could be a group
role. I'm going to accept, find, or examine.
I'm good at examining. I would weigh you down,
so I'm gonna stay. I also would. Alright, fair
enough. Tank, you're distracted. What are you
looking at? I think there's just like a bird's
nest up in the rafters, and I'm just like, oh
wow. Wow, you're preaching the beauty of nature.
The baby birds immediately fall under the spell
of your juice burn and start attacking you. Tank
you're being rude. I think that's the negative
unless you take the downside. You're gonna be
attacked by baby birds for the remainder of the
secure Unless I take resistance. Oh, okay. Yeah,
I guess I'll resist it Wow Mr. Bigshot over here
spending stress on baby. What do I resist with?
Something that happened to me. I call it a prowess.
Yeah I rolled four, died, and the highest was
a three. The worst baby bird encounter of Tank's
young life. I don't have a lot of stress to spend.
At least you got rid of the baby birds. One of
them makes a squeak noise when you smack it out
of the air. I'm sorry, Christopher. Oh my god.
Connie, how'd it go? I was waiting for that.
Oh, yeah risky standard. Yep, okay Every dice
I've ever held hate me Wow, what's your highest
it's a three That's a fail unless you want to
resist you're gonna take a level two harm. Yeah
fine. Oh, you're gonna take it I'm I don't want
to Yeah, I want to be around for whatever this
is. So yes okay um so the thing that happens
as you are sort of poking through doorways and
fighting baby birds and chattering amongst yourselves
is a french maid shows up like full french maid
attire and shoots you with a shotgun like from
far enough away that it's not like a mortal wound
but it does fill your number one track and it
like clips you in the shoulder okay hold on i
did entrap you a little bit oh this is a trap
isn't it this is a trap or a surprise because
then i can resist it I have. Amazing! Okay, Connie
barreling down upon you is a French maid. She
is carrying a shotgun. She is incredibly beautiful.
She's also wearing a bath towel and she has a
shotgun and she's gonna try to shoot you. What
do you do? I think the shot probably does go
off and I'm able to grab a bit of something from
the like unfinished construction and throw it
into the air and duck at the same time to like
block the shot a little bit. My man's gonna Captain
America this shit. Hell yeah. It's just like
a big piece of drywall or something that I can
toss up enough that it'll deflect the shot. Incredible.
It explodes in dust. Do you roll resistance now?
Nope. So tell me how much of this I resist because
I'm using a move called all the angles. Expand
your special armor to resist a consequence from
a trap or surprise or push yourself during negotiations.
But I'm resisting a consequence from a trap or
surprise. Hell yeah. If you want me to take some
harm from it that tracks with how the game works
i would take it down do you think one track of
one or two tracks is fair to be clipped in the
shoulder with a shotgun from i don't know six
yards like oh mike wait uh it's a big panel of
asbestos i get cancer damn bet you're wishing
you took the bullet you get three harm but it
comes In 15 years. Yeah, there you go. You take
two level one harms. It's just called dust. You
are choking. Like, this is a very chaotic few
minutes of a panel exploding, a shotgun going
off, and a woman screaming at you. What the fuck?
Who are you guys? Calm down. Cody, you said you
alerted them that we're coming. I did. Did Trent
Mr. Dort not tell you that we were arriving?
Immediately puts the shotgun down. Oh, are you
guys contractors? Sure Like house or other? Look,
it's it's other we've we were a special she just
walks away She walks with a purpose the tallest
heels you've ever seen she's also wearing a bath
towel like she's cold on top of a bikini like
You can't tell what it is. It's like a French
-made bikini situation. There's a lot happening
with this woman. It sounds like an anime outfit.
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, she's breasting boobily
to wherever she's going. Do you follow? I would
follow for sure. Okay. Yeah, sure. I collect
the spent shotgun shell off the ground. I don't
know if it fits in mine. I'm taking it damn practical
And so with total confidence she weaves through
these hallways. She's been here a lot She's just
ripping open doors a lot of them not computerized
at all She's just opening or you know one of
them she unlocks with a physical key until you
arrive in a new space and this space Very dark
this space is larger than a lot of the rooms.
You've walked through this space is darker. It
has like sort of gunmetal blue walls. It's a
lot of circular elements, like big trendy circles.
It looks very flashy 60 years ago, you know what
I mean? Like if you guys walked into a perfectly
preserved mid -century modern house, you'd be
like, oh, this looks great 60 years ago, you
know? So this is out of style. Dark grays and
blues. It's also extremely cold. Like as soon
as you pass the threshold, it's freezing in here
and you immediately understand the bath towel.
That's just like, you know, she walks in sets
the shotgun back on a wall. There's a bunch of
guns on the walls You see like an antique harpoon
thing like this is a living room. This is a den
This is somewhere somebody hangs out and she
just sort of sits down and picks back up a tablet
or something She's called she's sitting there.
Can I ask you a question? Yeah, how many contractors
have you killed? Oh Like zero, I'm a really bad
shot I guess you're not truly trusted with door
duty. No, no, I mean, no, I'm just like, I was
here. Nimoy! And you see a figure on a couch,
and this figure is in all khaki. They are tall.
They are very still, very quiet, looking at something
projecting out of their wrist, like... hologram
projection of looks like data. They also have
a crossbow bolt sticking out of one shoulder.
Looks like it's been there for some time because
there's a huge black wound just pouring out of
it and you can smell this person like from a
distance you can smell a rotting wound. Nimoy
just kind of looks up at you. Hello? Who are
you? I think you got a little something on your
shoulder there. Yeah, Trent put that there. What
do you need? Real quick, do we recognize this
person? Nope. Okay. Hello. I'm assuming you're
contractors, right? Yes. Yes. You must be the
squirtest contractors. Yeah. Do you have a question
or something? What do you need? We were hoping
to speak to Trent about maybe getting - He's
busy. He's in the shower. What's a shower? It's
like this thing that you clean yourself off in
and like rains water on you. What? Yeah, yeah,
we have them at the dickball practice facility.
Dickball? Yeah, tickball. You a fan? Oh! That's
like that blood sport, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, I'm like on the team. Never been. Oh, that's
cool. Are you interested in season tickets? Come
on, Tang. Hey! This is my thing. And Liz is gonna
look at me like, okay, so ignore them for a minute.
Okay, so I'm here because I actually wrote Grinders
the musical. It premiered this week and I actually
got lots of really great reviews. And so I was
wondering if maybe we could maybe talk about
Trent, because my feedback was that Trent wasn't
featured enough in the actual musical. And so
I was just hoping to maybe get some like firsthand
information about him. progressively more flat
-faced and bored while you're going through that.
I feel like maybe you might know. You seem like
you're mad. You guys should take your shoes off
if you're going to stay. I have to keep mine
on, but it's generally shoes off. We were hoping
not to stay long, but sure. Trench in the shower,
dude. How will a musical help with the project?
Oh, sorry. That's separate from the project.
That's just an art project that I'm working on
right now. Then why are we talking about it?
And like kind of like shrinks and steps back.
I'm sorry, I have work to do. Do you need something
to help with the project or are you working on
the building? The building? No, no. Yeah, we're
always renovating around here. We're other contractors.
Yeah, we know we do need materials, but not for
building. We are working on the project. Oh,
you must be retrieving the device. Yes. I'm sure
Trent knows this, but we're not exactly people
of means. We need something that would help out
with this. We don't have enough assets and enough,
let's say, insurance in case things go awry.
Yeah, we need some high -tech shit. Well, I have
Howler. I have KLD. I have a little bit of Twino,
but that's really hard to come by, and that's
mine. Trenton didn't pay for that. We see the
French maid is pointing to this insane four -stack
pedestal thing that's sitting on a coffee table.
So it's drugs. It's drugs you've never seen in
your fucking life. This represents thousands
upon thousands of dollars. It looks like it's
out like a candy dish, just whatever. And up
on top, you see a couple of things that are glowing.
And when you get closer, you realize that they
are holograms. They're like digital projections.
So there's something computerized you could interact
with if you had something that could do that.
Yeah. And was going to check that out. Um, and
cause, you know, I've got to report back to Lottie
about the cool stuff that we found. Question.
Does the birthday boy seem interested in the
hologram stuff? This is brutal. This is brutal
for me. I'll tell you why eventually. Tank, you
hove closer to the glowing things. You see that
they're labeled three things. You see the first
one says, women's synchronized starfall team,
Pan -Olympic Victory Lodge. It's dated about
20 years ago. The next file is labeled Francis,
that's it, labeled about 20 years ago. Third
file, no date, just says pig. We're gonna go
for pig. This is a multiple choice, right? Like,
pick one. birthday boy like i don't know i think
you kind of indicate to the birthday boy birthday
boy looks at it looks at you shakes his head
like this is an improv no but that bad huh um
birthday boy goes kind of nods yep all right
bud i'll talk to me boy a little bit more like
i don't know i'm sure trent has other contractors
that you know if he lends devices to to help
with their tasks I'm sure he does, but you'll
have to talk to him about that. Okay, well, you're
the one... Who are you to him? Complex emotions
cross Nimoy's face. Do you need someone to get
that thing out of your shoulder? Uh, no, that's
supposed to be there. Trent put it there. Um...
It's starting to... It's gonna have adverse effects
on your health. I'm assuming that's part of the
plan. I lean over to Endlet. This is very upsetting.
Agreed. It makes me deeply uncomfortable. Look,
Trent's got all of this under control, alright?
Who am I to Trent? I'm actually important to
him. You might want to try proving yourself before
you demand favors from him. More like requesting
favors, but... Connie, you look down and you
see Trent's vape is on the couch opposite Nimoy
by itself. Look, we're just, we're not looking
for drugs. Just want some firepower. You know
Trent's never let me fire the harpoon gun like
I've shot most of these which was fun, but Yeah,
I never that one. He probably wouldn't I don't
know. They're like technically collectibles,
right? You know, you're at that seminar with
him, right? I was at the seminar, but I was I
worked through the whole thing I didn't pay much
attention to the speakers. Yeah, okay. She looks
annoyed Are you offering up the harpoon gun so
I'll take whatever we can get oh Hmm Trent kind
of likes that thing. Okay. Yeah, I'm not looking
to upset Trent Dord by just taking stuff. I think
if you fired it at the right person, he might
be okay with it. Oh Yeah, fair enough. Um, I'll
pick it up and Whoa, Connie. What what are you
gonna do with that? I'm gonna whisper to tank.
I'm pretty sure that Trent is someone who more
than anything likes to be entertained Judging
by everything else. I get the feeling that we're
already being watched so Huge cough from far
away sounds like somewhat Wet feet slapping on
the floor old man slapping on down a metal hallway
Beach towel same one as the French nurses got
Trent Dort, baby. Totally nude except for the
beach towel wrapped around his midsection You
know, weird style. Old guy shit. This is his
house. He doesn't have to wear a towel the right
way. Walks out, is like, hey, what's up? The,
this court is contractors are here. Okay. I fired
the harpoon at him. Let's go, baby. Jesus Christ.
We end the campaign here. When you got the shot,
you take it, man. All right, what are you rolling
here? Oh, so here's the thing. I'm doing the
fucking Hunger Games thing of like trying to
get like get his ear a little bit. Oh, wait,
this is not a kill shot. This is like a no. No,
no, no, no, no. I am not in his house to kill
him. I will die here and I'm not interested in
dying here. But like I said to Tank earlier.
Trent Dort seems like someone who's bored and
wants to be entertained, so... Okay, we're gonna
call this Desperate Great. So this is a desperate
risk, it would have a great reward if it was
successful. I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna
call for this! Feels like a pretty straightforward
fight role to me, right? This is... Hey, hey
everyone, I might die here, so... want to put
some sauce on this? Like, how do we want to approach
this? What's up? The only thing I can throw out
is I think we have trust right now if you need
it. So you don't have trust with Tank. You do
have trust with me, too. It was going to be shocked
by the fact that you shot him. So trust can do
an assist without taking stress, right? So you
could get two assists, it sounds like. Yeah,
but I don't think it works from Lottie since
she's not here and also they would have to assist
in which case they would have to be in on this
Yeah, I don't think I want them to be in on this
and look I think you have a split second where
you watch Connie's shoulder ratchet back holding
an antique harpoon gun And you know what is about
to happen here. Are you gonna lean in or not?
Yeah, I'm gonna yeah, trust my friend Connie
on this. So I'm gonna just like hit the deck
like Don't think I think you're standing over
by Connie. I think there's some yards between
you you could Anyway, I think to assist so I'm
I'm gonna stop you right there cuz shit I don't
think there's a way for me to assist when he
has the weapon right like I and I don't think
they know what I'm doing I like I told tank what
I was doing. Okay, but Yeah, I don't think I
have enough time to react. Like, everyone in
the room probably thinks I am aiming for a kill
shot. I'm maybe the only one who knows I'm not
aiming for a kill shot, so. Connie, you know
what's fucked up? I'm gonna give you a bonus
dice. I swear to god. Like, this is the most
important role of my life. My heart's like racing.
Do it, do it! Jesus Christ! Everyone say rest
in peace, Connie. Does failing mean you do kill
him? Can you push yourself? Is that allowed?
I can push myself. Oh my god, you could. Yeah,
do you want to push yourself? So for the camera,
let me just roll a three and a one. That's not
good. That's real bad. I believe in the heart
of the card. This is going to be a six. Taking
that to stress. I'm gonna something bad is gonna
happen to me here, and this was not this isn't
even a mission The heart of the cards I have
rolled at least one one every single roll I've
done today So that's a one that is that is quite
a failure such bad luck Okay, your stated goal
with this action was to fire a good and meaningful
shot and warn him, right? Yeah, but yet surprise
him. Okay look like a cool guy look like the
man, right? Yeah, look like look like a crazy
person that would entertain him Because I know
that that's what they want. Okay What happens
now is harpoon gun heavy in your grip. It clonks
like old -ass machinery. This thing is made out
of cast steel, baby. When you pull that trigger,
you're gonna take a level of harm just from the
gun firing, right? This thing is so heavy duty.
It's crazy. That's the first thing that happens,
which I think pushes you into the two track,
right? Okay, you're at a level two harm. The
next thing that happens is harpoon gun. explodes
out, uh, hits Trent Dort in the throat. Like,
full -on. Like, just... smashes in. You have
a second of unreality. The harpoon is like...
It's like making the rope noise in your fingers,
right? Trent Dort scatters like marbles. He just
dissipates like fucking mist. He just... And
what hits the ground is a spine, a brain, a jaw,
some bits and pieces, a bunch of fluids. That's
what hits the floor. Nimoy leaps to their feet,
their hand flips back up, they have a machine
gun in there, and it's going to shoot you in
the chest. So, unless you want to roll a resist,
you're going to take a level 3 harm. Do I have
time to react? I mean, I have a bodyguard. You
can protect me. So when you protect, take a plus
1d to your resistance roll. Take. Protect actions.
You suffer the consequence instead of the teammate.
You may roll to resist it as normal. Oh, and
you get plus one D on that. So you get plus one
D on that, and that would take it, it was a level
three harm, it would take it down to a full level
two track. So even if you resisted it, that's
not like no harm, that's just a huge thing. Oh,
so no matter what I do. Yeah. You can take at
least a level two. Yeah. full. My harm track
is going to be full if this thing is full. Yeah,
Connie's gonna be, like, not out. Like, you wouldn't
be out, but you can't do anything without assistance
once you have a level 3 harm. I can't stress
enough, this isn't a mission. Oh, let's hop over
to Door Mansion, we said. Let's go see what they're
up to. Oh, I got six, so. Take, what does it
look like when you take a bullet for Connie,
but you're not that stressed about it? I'm not
that stressed about it? I just like hop in front
of him, but like back towards Nimoy and just
kind of tank it. No pun intended. flash of all
this shit happening. Trent Dort's insane distended
body smashing into the ground. There's a sound
like scattering marbles. There is Nimoy's hand
clicking backwards. The gun is in their wrist.
There is the shot. It would have hit Connie square
in the chest. Connie, you look death in the eye.
You look at Nimoy and know that they are going
to kill you right now. And then Tank's face is
to you. Tank just like hoves into view as he
so often does and takes two bullets in the chest.
fill up your level two harm track. Neemoy standing
with the gun pointed at basically like just like
wagging it between the different people in the
room and just says okay I don't know what that
trick was but we are all going to stay here frozen
not moving and we're just gonna stand here we're
gonna watch your friend bleed and we're gonna
watch Trent Dort slowly come back together. Wait
what? it's already happening at your feet. When
you step backwards, you can feel like invisible
pressure as if you're touching something. Nanites,
baby. My man is mostly nanites. There was no
blood when I shot it was just like metal fluids
like he lost like what you're looking at this
sucks to see it's real bad It is a spinal column.
It is a nervous system. It is a jaw It is a brain
like it is all the parts that keep the brain
going and pretty much nothing else So there's
a few like bagged and tagged sacks of fluid.
They're scooting around I think you'd tap some
of those but before your eyes Trentor is rematerialized
feet first. Naked. Lost the bath towel. Damn.
Well, yeah. It's going to use know your way,
which is when visiting a new location, you get
a plus one D or plus one D to resist any consequences
from evolving a breach of etiquette. I mean,
technically speaking, it was a breach of etiquette.
It's hard to think of a more serious breach of
etiquette than what has occurred right now. I
feel like that would be an apt way to use it.
And this is going to be like, you're right. You're
right, Nimoy. I guarantee you that there's something
that we all need to talk, but I guarantee you
that that was not what it looked like. God you
didn't shoot him on purpose, right? No, I mean
look at his eyes. It was totally on purpose The
French maid stood up. She put her tablet down
not fazed at all Trent Dort regurgitating resuscitating
on the floor, whatever Look I was just trying
to send a message but not not that kind of message
and obviously like looks it seems like there's
no harm can Can my friend at least patch Tank
up a little bit? Tank, you've just been facing
Connie's direction this whole time. You just
got shot twice in the chest. I don't think you've
been shot before, right? The back. Yeah, the
back of the chest. I've never been wrong, and
I never will be. What's it to you? You've had
tickball injuries. You've probably had broken
bones and scrapes and burrs and everything. Have
you been shot before? No. And it's just like...
Think what takes tank by surprise the most is
like when you're shot like the metal is really
hot right and it's just like burned into your
organs and stuff and it's just Granted like the
back is like pretty meaty, but it's still it
still sucks. Damn. Okay, you slowly wobbling
Lee stand up Nimoy lets you because you're moving
away from Trent and then they stand over Trent's
corpse Question mark as it's coming back online
The French maid sits back down in her chair.
She's like You know, I really hate that every
time dude. I really hate to see that tanks gonna
take a moment in like signal to the birthday
boy like Look what's going on? Okay. Wait, is
this a move? What are you trying to do? No, I'm
just like Maybe there's something the birthday
boy can learn in this moment do you want to do
a move here or do you just you can flash back
to this later i guess my man is mostly nanites
my man is in a vulnerable state um i'm saying
more in like to look for maybe like weaknesses
or if the birthday boy can learn in some small
way maybe he could help patch me up in any sort
of way i don't know okay we're gonna take a snapshot
of this moment revisit later maybe we'll see
So Trent is legs now, and then Trent is like
dick. It's like, okay, camera pans away. And
finally, Trent is torso. And then the throat
comes back online before the jaw does. And so
you have this horrible moment of like raw unfiltered
like tongue moment. Fuck me, dude. I just took
a fucking shower got all brand -new cerebral
spinal fucking Trent Dort back hands you Connie
back of the head just like not even a harm level
just like wow I Just wanted to see what the great
Trent Dort was made of Oh, baby. Yeah. Well,
you saw it. You like what you see boy You like
this handsome spine strong jaw anymore likes
it right kid. Sorry. It's got the stupidest mental
image Say it. Transnute into saying that. Mm
-hmm. Just flopping around. I guess. Right, exactly
what they said. What the fuck is your problem?
Why are you coming here? I gotta reload this
thing now? Like picks up the harpoon gun. It's
like a half -hour project, unless you know how
to do this. Here, throws it back to you. Fix
it, do it. Uh, can my friends help? Can my friends
help? God. What the fuck is wrong with y 'all?
What do you - what do you want? What do you want?
Okay, look, we need some help to, you know, go
get what you've asked us to get. Okay, like,
specifically. Like, in specific. I'm naked, dude.
I gotta go get another towel. This one's got
shit on it. We can take a break, so you can -
You can't use the foot towel for the rest of
your body if it'll touch your feet. It's nasty.
I'm not saying this to him. Tank, what are you
thinking about? You've sat down heavily on this
couch. Dort's vape is right next to you. You're
tired. You just got shot. Nobody's doing anything
about it. You've kind of like put your hand on
your chest a little bit covered in blood. You're
like, hmm. Tank's gonna take a drag from Dort's
vape. This is good. This is the clown show that
I created. Damn, you hate to do it to him. You're
going to take a level three harm unless you resist.
Oh my god. Yeah, I'll fucking resist. Jesus Christ.
Pure, uncut. Howler the most uncut of uncut cocaine.
No upper has ever been more up than this So in
your brief moments of lucidity when you experience
what will undoubtedly be the highest high of
your fucking life There will never be another
moment like this ever You're like, oh, that's
what all the sensory stuff is about. That's why
it's so cold in here is to keep him alert and
in his body That's why is the howler because
if he loses focus, he just sort of dissipates
into nanites My man is nanites everything about
his life is about maintaining his connection
to his body, because otherwise he is just nanites.
That's it. And so, like you remember, you've
seen him with his vape. He's been hitting it
like every 15 minutes, you know? Like that's
what he needs to maintain basic consciousness
at this point. So that's what you get in your
few seconds of just like... Can we get the noise
the tank makes when he hits the hardest, fattest
rip? Oh man. Oh my god, I'm gonna die! I think
he gets a bonus resistance dice. Because he goes
into the new dimension. Oh my god! Huge dense
silhouette! I am the god of meat! Take what the
fuck is a meteor! I don't know man, I just took
a rip from it! A vape and it is like, fucking
my shit right now. You see the meat god is on
eBay. He's trying to find a desk. They're like,
caught off guard. Dude, that's crazy! Oh my god,
what are you gonna do? You're like, out of your
consciousness and shit. I don't know, man. Like,
as my god, do you have any advice? Keep it real,
brother. Snap! You're back in your body! Incredible.
This has got to be a resolve roll, right? Resolve?
Yeah. Is that minus one D because I have level
two harm or is that just on... That's everything.
Okay. Three. I'm out. Oh my god. Traumatized?
Yeah. The fattest rip. Pure cosmic ascension.
You watch as Chuck the Meat God clicks. Bye now.
Oh, that was sniped. Nope. Ah, damn it. Zoom,
out of your body, unconscious. So meanwhile,
you guys were talking about what you want from
Trent. I'm gonna say this is a rare moment of
the genie's wish. Everybody's distracted. You're
looking at Trent, you realize that he is not
quite... On the ball as he normally is like the
way that he was so goofy like Connie like he
wasn't even mad You know, um, he hasn't had his
howler like he's not locked in right now. And
so you have this rare opportunity This is the
genie's wish. What are you gonna wish for in
the next 30 seconds? Look, we're gonna be out
of here soon. We're all This has gone quite a
lot differently than I anticipated. I know I
gotta take another shower I got a whole fucking
routine. I gotta go through it spinal flu is
fucking expensive as fuck Yeah, but we have no
idea what you told us what it looks like But
we don't know what it is that we're trying to
steal or where it is in the grinders base So
just come on give us a little more Endless sees
that tank has collapsed. So onto the couch. Thank
goodness. He was sitting so she's gonna rush
over and just kind of like check and make sure
that he's okay and then take the take the vape
and Gently put it back up where it belongs on
the table Connie's made his ask, endless sending
to tank. Trent is like, oh yeah, whoosh. Birthday
boy pings. He just received a file. Okay, I'm
assuming you sent us some - Yeah, to fuck out.
To fuck out of here. Yeah, fair. Hey, are you
sure we don't want - we don't want to take out
the thing from - Nimoy here? No, they're good.
Yeah, totally, that's supposed to be there. Okay,
um - Can you help me carry tank? She's getting
enough pictures of my dick, boy! Inla has been
taking pictures of - My beautiful body! Put a
lot of animators working on this! Look at this!
He starts doing the funny walk from Monty Python.
John, I'm uncomfortable with this, it fucking
sucks! Oh god. Oh god, he has speakers in his
house. Inla has the biggest grit on her face.
and has been taking pictures like as much as
she like mental pictures of everything in the
room and of Trent for her documentation um and
on the way in like she passed by like one of
those fancy lamps that has like string of like
jewelry looking glass and uh took a couple of
those off of the bottom um yeah let's let's get
tank and let's get out of here yep yeah this
i'm so uh tank you're what i'm getting out of
your shot I As we're like exiting and going towards
the skimmer I think we're both like carrying
tank on you know, you know one on one shoulder
on each person Just dragging him along since
he's twice our size. He also has gravity on him
The bugs are following you guys the birthday
boys sticking up at a crazy angle. Oh, baby I
Say like I sort of try to say to I'm so sorry.
I didn't know that would go that badly. I'm We're
gonna we're gonna get this taken care of. Well,
you can't hear you. He's unconscious I'm still
gonna keep saying it tell you what you do here
though on your way out The French maid gets the
door for you. She's like that was fun Friendship
is good. You know, like you guys should come
by again It's kind of boring. Hi, what was your
name? Raytheon. Such a beautiful name. It's good
that you guys asked in the last 30 seconds. Sneaking
in under the gate. She didn't introduce herself
by shooting us. So as she's walking you out,
you hear behind you, Trent is just sort of mumbling
at Nimoy, you're muffled, whatever, and then
louder. Fucking people talk to me about our timeline
Well, assuming we get the device to tell the
cow within the next four days shut door shuts
you're out on the sidewalk birthday boy Comes
loose wet sand kind of feeling pops back into
like about toddler height, you know Looks up
at you Connie cuz you're carrying tank Reaches
out of hand and projects something New file pops
open big old warhead, baby Big old warhead. Crash
Planet is a hyper gallant production edited by
Nihar and game mastered by Rabbit Sullivan. Music
by The Grin, The Serfs, Crime of Passing, Perverts
Again, Matthew J. Rollin, and Rabbit Sullivan.
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