Trash Planet contains themes of desperation and
poverty. We portray a comedic, absurd, and violent
world. For a full list of content warnings, please
see the episode description. Broadcasting live
from my sick gamer rig. A lot of game masters
will tell you that they DM from a notebook or
they DM from a laptop. No, I DM from a USB steering
wheel. That's all I need. That's why I'm the
best in the business. Welcome to Trash Planet,
the podcast that beats ass and eats trash. I
am your host, Rabbit Sullivan. My pronouns are,
my pronouns are he, him, and they, them. My pronouns
are none of your business. Simply none of your
business, hands off. I'm sorry, when you messed
up, I thought you were like, my pronouns are
hup. I was like, that is beautiful. Yep. My pronouns
are hup and oh boy. But in any case, more importantly,
my vibe is hup, oh boy, hup, eep, yeah. Just
sort of like Midwestern noises. That's my vibe
today. Yeah. I'm joined by my cool Twitch .tv
chat, who is here to support me as I play Trash
Planet on my USB steering wheel. Natalie, what's
your deal today? Hi, I'm Natalie, pronouns she,
they, and my vibe today is looking forward to
a nice brunch with my family. Yay. That's a nice
vibe. That's a nice vibe. Devin. Hello, I am
the aforementioned Devin, pronouns he, him. My
vibe today, I'm a small tugboat, just tugging
along. Whoa. Yeah. Steady, powerful, not that
fast. Good imagery, good imagery, strong. You've
been to the Ohio River today? I have not, but
I guess I live somewhat close. Yeah, so many
times. Always in mind, the great Ohio River.
Oh, incredible. Also full of trash. Yeah, we've
got the trash river. We're working on the planet
part of it, but yeah. You get inspiration from
everywhere. At least it never caught on fire.
Yeah, let's roast the rest of our steak. You
know what? Fuck Dayton as well. Fuck Dayton!
We love you, Dayton. Maddie does not speak for
us. I don't love Dayton. I also do not. I like
Dayton. Maddie, tell us who you are and why you
like Dayton. I'm Maddie, she they. And I like
Dayton because it's kind of a little artsy, it's
a little crunchy, it's a little, I don't know,
there's a little rough to it. And I always like
to see a little roughness to it. Devin and I
are looking at each other with crazy eyes. Now
Maddie has crazy eyes for the viewer at home
because she's wrong about Dayton. But anyway,
your vibe today. I've been to the wrong parts
of Dayton. My vibe today is I am a bird because
I feel like I can't shut up and yet I'm just
trying to find some food. That's my vibe today.
Maddie, we love to hear you. Also, Dayton. Known
for flying. This is true. My parents used to
go to the museum there. It's my experience. And
I went to a wedding. Hi, I'm Nihar. He, him.
And my vibe today is a 6 on a D6, except it's
all one straight line of pips. Wow. Interesting.
This feels like a dream. Like you'd look down
in a dream and be like, wow, the dice look different
today. Is the die bigger or are the pips smaller?
The pips are smaller and it's like totally lopsided.
It's not like diagonally through the middle.
It's just all on one, like one corner, one edge.
Can you veto somebody else's vibe? This is, I
don't know about that. I was picturing like a
long dice and he rolled like a stick with like
six sides. Yeah, the barrel dice. That's a thing.
Yeah. I'm not crazy. Maddie's over here throwing
bones to play her games. Listen, I like to channel
my inner witchy ancestors when I can, you know?
I love that. We last left our heroes, recovering
from a brutal downtime invasion by the giddy
girls. Petra, quit. She bounced. She outta here.
Ella is recovering from her grievous wounds,
Connie and Lottie did some bonding, and perhaps
most importantly, Tank got his fingers long.
And oh yeah, Trent Dort reared his ugly mug.
After plying our heroes with skimmers and chili
dogs, he pressed them into service. The Grinders
are the most powerful faction in Fresco, and
they've got something that Trent Dort needs.
If the wardens don't get it back for him, they
will be atomized from space. It's hard times,
you know? It's hard times out here on Trash Planet.
And so, what are we gonna do about these hard
times? Let's... Find out. So we cut to the inside
of the food court. It's after hours. Janouche
and Halbert are hustling around in the kitchen
trying to pick up from Petra's slack. It's been
busy today. It's been busy without her. It's
been loud. It's been stressful. And it's that
warm twilight haze, golden, dusty. We're all
edgy and gritty and tired. We're smelling burning
plastic from the oven. We smell a sharp medicinal
smell coming off of the poultices on Endless
Wounds. This is the middle of a conversation.
This is everyone we have just heard from Tank
and Lottie, what has come to pass with Trent
Dort. So we don't need to recap that, but we
do need to figure out what to do next. So we
don't have any details on what it is we're trying
to steal? He wouldn't give any. We'd know it
when we see it, and that was all we really needed
to know. Well, that's not frustrating. Well,
assuming this is the type of things that the
Grinders wouldn't want to easily give up, or,
you know, couldn't be bought, do we really think
we can break in? I feel like we have to maybe
schmooze our way in or something like that. I
don't think breaking into a Grinders compound
is the play here. They might not even know what
it is. They had a tendency to grab and hoard
just about everything they think might be useful
someday. Actually, that is encouraging. I'm sorry,
we're just skipping over the fact that he shot
people from the sky? Yeah. Yeah, he, uh... He
can do that. He used an Argus Strike. Yeah, have
you ever, like, witnessed a war crime right in
front of your face? I can't say that I have to.
It was awful. Well, shit, I'm sorry to bring...
I'm just a little... I'm a little teary about
it. So Lottie and Tank, what's your vibe right
now? Like you just walked home from this insane
thing. It's the end of the day. Lottie's like
not making eye contact. She's very like down
and seems worried. Tank is like, like I said,
like he just witnessed a war crime and there's
no war going on. So the vibes are low. He is
a broken down tugboat. No! You flash back to
when Trent Dort was like, you're not going to
run away on me now. You just cut and run. And
how do you feel about that? The idea like you
could like you just watch somebody get atomized
from space for the first time. That's feeling
pretty real. Look, an Argus strike is scary,
but he threatened us with it once. I wasn't there
to see it actually in use, but I know he had
one. I think it was flying overhead during the
dinner party. The threads are with us. Like,
right now we have to work with Trent, but...
The threats? Halberd kind of leans over. She's
mixing something in a huge bowl. The threads
are with us? No, the threads. The threads of
the world. The threads of that stupid satellite.
I just need to concentrate on it a little bit
more. Right now we have to do what he says, just
because that thing is looming overhead. What's
Connie look like right now? Here's the thing,
like, mechanically I'm not very stressed, but...
Narratively, I am very stressed. Maybe it's that
kind of smooth crazy guy focus where you're like,
well, I'm pretty intense right now, but we're
cooking. Yeah, definitely like, I'd say like
three espressos deep look. I was just thinking
line cook energy line cook energy depth of the
rush just like banging it out. Yeah. Yeah, very
much that. In fact, I would say while this conversation
is happening Connie's probably in the middle
of like cleaning up and stuff like not sitting
still at all Just like yeah tripping into the
conversation from wherever he happens to be at
the time And you're sipping on a delicious drink
that was handed to you by Halbert. What color
is it? It's green and purple swirled together
woof Cool tastes good tastes bad tastes as good
as anything does on trash planet tastes just
okay And your radio goes off, your personal radio
that is your personal frequency. And you hear
a crackly voice. Hello, this is Volper Tinger.
Hello? No, Volpy. You realize this is not, it's
not live. It's a loop because they just keep
talking. They're like, so here you are invited
to my puppet show. I hear this because I say
this and I say my puppet show. My puppet show
is happening. It is happening very soon. In fact,
it is happening for 24 hours only, no more, no
less. 24 hour puppet show. And you will know
where it is when you come betwixt the fish's
eye beneath the farthest moon. Like, and they
give this insane, like, riddle -style thing.
You're just like, uh -oh. So, pretty, pretty
irritating. It involves a lot of nouns that you're
like, okay. Then they wrap it up. They're like,
And so I will see you for 24 hours beginning
right now. Ah! This repeats a couple times, just
on a loop. And you're like, there's a puppet
show happening. Good old Volpe. You guys want
to go to a puppet show? Maybe some levity to
the situation? I don't think that's a priority.
They did help us a lot with the jailbird. Did
they? Did they though? Seemed like they caused
the same amount of problems as problems they
solved. I don't know if we would have been able
to manipulate the bird without their help, though.
Yes, it's not about what we owe them. We can
owe them some other way than going to a puppet
show, I think. Right now, we have bigger things
to worry about. Fair, fair, fair, fair. Tank
is getting a little bored by the conversation,
so he sits down in a nearby chair and feels something
on his butt. his butt pocket of his sophie shorts
oh my god and he remembers he has a mini disc
from jim pop oh you pull it out you see the logo
for the library guys guys what if we take the
new skimmer up to the library oh yeah by the
way trend gave us like a really sick skimmer
yeah that new skimmer will definitely get us
there quickly i assume yeah it only seats two
though we might still need the old one for getting
business done this is more of a fun ride So we
could... I mean, it's on the way, right? We can
drop some people off and... We can try to find
a way to repair it. I mean, my vote is that that
nanomachine stuck to your body is probably the
best bet to repair it. Hey, what do you know
about nanomachines? Oh yeah, the birthday boy
goggles up at you sadly from your chest on the
baby. Don't worry, birthday boy. I won't let
them take you. Incredible. Listen, he took our
skimmer. It's only fair. Does he know how to
unbreak a thing he broke? I turn around and me
and the birthday boy are in a little huddle.
The birthday boy is just in his baby yarn. It's
hard to huddle with that, but you know, you just
look down. Birthday boy looks up at you. Can
you fix things you break, birthday boy? He waves.
Is that a yes? Gives you a thumbs up. Why didn't
you just do the thumbs up the first time? Waves
again Okay, I'll have to decide for this later
do the birthday boy it says he He he can't fix
it he can I don't know well We're going north
anyway, if we're gonna go check out the mini
disc at the library, then we'll probably pass
by our skimmer We can do a little detour. We're
going north. Anyway, we could absolutely catch
full for Tinger's puppet show. You're welcome
to And so we cut to how this mission's gonna
work. Ha -cha! Okay, this is kind of a get resources,
figure out our lives type mission. The big clock
that you are racing is time. So the big pressure
is just, are we going to run out of time? Because
you have coming up, you have to deliver the meat
for tender mercy. You have to deal with your
upcoming deadline to not get atomized by Trent
Dort. So we have an eight clock just called time.
This is what you are racing and we have a bunch
of smaller little clocks totally up to you what
you choose to achieve or not achieve. The first
clock is called heist research. This is anything
you want to look into for the grinders. This
can be as open -ended as you want. It will pay
off later. This is stuff that will carry forward
into whenever you deal with them. That one is
a six -clock, the highest research. The second
clock is called the MiniDisc. This is a four
-clock. Probably you're going to need to go to
the library for that. Then there is a clock called
Recover Skimmer. That is a four -clock. And there
is a clock called Puppet Show, where you will
go to a fun puppet show. And these are the clocks
that are available to you. Everybody, what is
your load? What are we taking into our mission?
Normal load for me. Normal for me. Tank's gonna
take a heavy load. Lots of beef jerky for the
road trip. How about Enlai? Enlai, you're still
pretty beat up. I don't think you have any level
2s anymore, but you know, you're feeling achy.
Yeah, I'll probably have a lighter load. Okay.
And now, someone, please give me the engagement
roll. You have a very fast skimmer. which is
like the Ferrari. Oh yeah, well let's describe
the skimmer. So you get out there, you beep the
thing, the skimmer goes drip, drip. Beautiful,
brand new, shiny, incredible skimmer. Gives you
a little thrill just to look at it. Here's already
a thing. The previous skimmers did not have a
thing, did not have any kind of remote start
that would go trip, trip. It was like insert
the keys type shit. I think also when you turn
it on, you had the skimmer just leaning up close
to the building and it has that asshole thing
where it projects its own logo up against the
wall. You're just like, oh, so shocking to see
the skimmer. Imagine a jet ski, but black and
sleek and dangerous and looks less dumb than
a jet ski. I love the jet ski. It doesn't look
too sexy. So normal skimmers, they flow along
the ground. This skimmer is a different design.
This skimmer's whole job is to get launched into
midair, maybe 30 yards up, and then float down.
Like it has thrusters in the bottom that are
pushing it so you can control the fall. So you're
kind of like vaulting and falling and vaulting
and falling. This is really fun if you're in
like a sportsmanship type of mood. Probably kind
of rough on a long distance trip, but yeah, that's
what the skimmer is. Insane, insane waste of
power, honestly. Like, this skimmer is not really
built for workhorse type work. So this will need
extra resources. Like, I'll give it to you for
this trip, but after this, you may have to invest
some coin or some other type of thing to keep
it powered. Describe to me, how are we fitting
us onto this skimmer? What's the vibe like? Well,
how are we on coin, first of all? Oh, yeah. Tank
has two personal coin. We have no coin as a corner.
Okay. None coin. Because yeah, my thought was
that like since we're probably gonna split up
Some of us can obviously take the skimmer and
some of us could probably pay someone to give
us passage Okay, so I think the only option is
for four of us to load up on the skimmer and
then So what's the - Wait a moment Tank has a
juice burn that lets him do gravity stuff That
is true But I thought that it was gravity of
like Keeping him more grounded like it was heavy
on him. Am I wrong? I think there was a point
In a scene earlier where he got like more out
of it. I think if you roll well, I would allow
a lot of stuff. Okay I think I think I really
need to go To the library and finish the job
that Jim Bob gave me He kind of entrusted me
with this mini disc and I kind of forgot about
it and make me feel kind of bad Because it was
his dying wish but I also Didn't know him that
well. He was kind of an asshole to me I wouldn't
say it was his dying wish, I think he was just
trying to protect an asset. Hey, were you there?
Yes. Yeah, but like, in that moment. I guess
not. Yeah, so don't tell me what his dying wish
was. Let the man have a dying wish. Alright,
tanks going to the library. Does anyone else
feel strongly about library side of stuff? Seems
right for Lottie. Cool, cool. All right, so is
that Connie Ant and what? Do you want to go to
a puppet show? No, but I do want to fix the skimmer,
so whatever. I love dark Connie art. That's dark?
That's just me in real life. This man hates puppets!
The worst thing Connie has done yet is disparage
a puppet show. To be fair, we're up against some
crazy shit. A puppet show sounds a little insane.
Here's the thing. In real life, if your friend
of a friend had a puppet show, like you invited
me, I would politely decline. But in real life,
I also don't have a gun pointed at my head. The
context is very different. Makes sense. Okay.
Give me that engagement roll, which normally
is 1d6, but unless you can think of any reason
you'd have a bonus for this stuff. Part of it
is we've made this journey before. Like we were
trying to get there and then we were intercepted
by the birthday boy. I'll take that. Someone,
please roll me 2d6. Not me, they'll both be ones.
Go on. That is a six! Let's go! Let's go! So
I think with a six I would allow you guys to
just arrive at the skimmer, right? Like we just
start out... at the old busted up skimmer. And
so we cut forward a brief description, please.
How are we fitting four people onto a two seater
skimmer? Like who is on the bottom? That's what
I want to know. Well, I have to be in the driver's
seat. No, it's mine. It's mine. Oh, I'm driving.
OK. Have you ever driven a skimmer before? No.
OK, I got this. I got this. Lottie sat in the
driver's seat to get ready and then Tank just
sat and relaxed. Amazing. All right, that's the
front dealt with. In the back, Enla and Connie,
what's your vibe? I mean, if we're doing lap
seating, Enla's the smaller person, so it makes
sense for Enla to be the lap seat. Also, I'm
injured, so please protect me from the end. Wow,
what do we think? Are there seat belts in this
thing or not? Is it too sexy for that? I think
there are. It's like a Ferrari. Like, even if
the people don't... It's also a darts Ferrari,
so I feel like there are places for seat belts
and they have been cut off with a pocket knife.
All right, we're taking that yeah, and let you
go to buckle up you see where it was clearly
sawing off by part you're like oh And so the
camera cuts to it's the wide shot of that sweeping
trash planet landscape and we just see like Like
a skimmer just vaulting in the distance falling
to earth vaulting again, this is I don't know
Is it thrilling is it unpleasant? What's everyone's
vibe check? It's like a rollercoaster, but she
has absolutely no control of the controls. Oh,
wait a second. Yeah, Tank, do you want to give
me some kind of roll for handling? Yeah, sure.
I'll take a negative one because this is crazy.
I would take either touch or some kind of tinker
if you have that. Five. Five. How do you feel
astride this majestic beast? Swirling. It's his
first new toy as a professional tinkball player.
So, well, it's not really his, because it's kind
of given it. But he pretends like he fought this
with his new rookie money, and that feels good.
You're feeling okay, feeling pretty good. It
is a little bit sloppy, and also Lottie is under
you when you're trying to work pedals and stuff,
and you're just like, ahh! Sort of stressful.
As your consequence, I'm going to take two on
time, unless you resist. I'll resist. We need
time. And I will also allow you to tick one on
Recover Skimmer because you had a success there.
So, with your six engagement roll, you zip right
back to exactly where you left the old Skimmer.
You know where it was, you've navigated there
based on the sky, which is the best way to navigate
on Trash Planet, because the landscape is shifting,
and indeed, when you get there, the landscape
has shifted. Remember that endless spray, that
beautiful five -foot X on the ground to mark
it? That X sort of exists. It is scattered. It
is a little bit all over the place. What's the
split? Who's going to stay and work on the skimmer?
Who's going to move on? I guess I'll help fix
the skimmer. And though it helped you. Who would
like to, who will the camera follow first? Tank
and Lottie or Connie and Entla? I think we should
stay with us. All right. Cool. So what are you
going to do? What's your move? So we come upon
the old skimmer and if I recall correctly, it
is like bisected, right? Yep. Birthday boy smash
right through the middle and tore out some power
cells and shit. Yeah. I would like to scrounge
up some parts in nearby area to try to fix this,
figure out how to fix it. Cool. Yeah, so call
this a scrounge roll. Yes. Can I? Yeah, I think
we probably scrounged up bits of Vinny Verta
beast in the past, right? Like whatever was left
from the jailbird I would take that from load
if you wanted like so there's either you finding
the parts in the moment Which I would call a
scrounge roll or there's you using load and just
tinkering to try to fix it Like those are those
could be different paths there Considering how
crushed we were on the skimmer, I don't think
I would have brought any big pieces with me.
Okay. Selfishly, I like, I have better scrims.
No, I love it. Call it risky standard. So we
see Enla scrapping around in the wastes, wandering,
kind of wincing every so often. Brilliant sky
overhead, windy, back out in the wastes, baby.
What's it like being out here just the two of
you? You're watching the skimmer disappear in
the distance, tanking lotty or zipping out of
there. Thanks for staying with me. Yeah, we just
- we needed to get this done. It's safer with
two of us. Think they're gonna figure anything
out? Yes. If there's one place where we can get
reliable information, it's the library. I've
never been myself, but it was the one place that
the temple looked up to for any level of knowledge
or research. You don't talk about the temple
much. It's strange having a place that hates
you as much as they do when I - Don't harbor
any ill will against them still to be honest.
I never really saw the appeal Rovens don't really
have religion so You all are rugged individualists
You know we at the temple we felt we had a community
we were Extremely tight -knit the thought of
one of us going out into the wastes on their
own was basically unthinkable Unless you you
know like me in contrition Yeah I know about
community. I know all the pros and cons, for
sure. I hate to say this, but the temple isn't
the real world. I'm in the real world now. And
for all I could say about them, they coddle you.
They keep you protected, sheltered from what's
actually out here. And the Rovens, they have
the right idea. They face it head on. I was forced
to face it head on. And what was that? Good for
me? I don't know, but that's me now. Can't be
a temple brat anymore. Well, I like you. Scrouge
roll. Scrouge roll. That was a six. Yeah. Amazing.
What does Enla find that is exactly the right
thing? Enla finds a long piece of metal that
happens to be the right depth and length. It's
kind of shaped like a C. So she's able to like
weld the pieces or like have a large piece that'll
kind of connect. Okay, it's like the frame. Yeah,
perfect. We see that moment of roving joy, nothing
like it, where you're scrapping around in the
waste, digging through with your hands and your
tools, and you pull out exactly what you were
looking for. And let's just beam it up at Connie
holding up this big rusty piece of metal. It's
like, yeah, how did you even find that? That's
the perfect size. Just some roving luck. And
we're going to tick two on fix skimmer, recover
skimmer. I would like to try to help as well
since we're doing so well. Yeah. In the meantime,
while we're having the conversation, and let's
digging through the trash piles. like I probably
brought the two pieces close and I'm like looking
through all of the wiring and all of the tubes
and everything and like seeing what connects
to where and I probably have some sort of like
polyester or plastic thread on me since I can
even sew and all of that and I can try to repair
the wires that way that's so cool just visually
seeing like okay red wire to red wire you know
yeah I was hoping to use examine okay I'll allow
it yep risky standard And another thing, I guess
I'll just spend the load here because this thing's
bisected and I can't imagine it held very much
charge. I think I brought the generator. Okay,
yep. So give you plus one on that. Come on crit.
That's a four. Good lord, that was so close to
failing. Okay, one success. So you are going
to fill out recover skimmer, going to get it
back together. However, you're going to take
time unless you resist. Do you want to resist?
You know what? I have enough stress to spare
that I think I will. What shall I resist with?
Insight? Yeah, that makes sense to me. It's on
my character sheet. I have to do it. I'm gonna
use another load. I have a thing called Clear
Pills, which in this case is gonna be more uppers.
But Clear Pills. Plus 1D for Insight resistance
rolls. Can't ignore that. Is this more like quattro
crazy? It's that thing that's an upper and a
downer at the same time. Yeah, that's 100 % what
this is. It's quattro crazy, for sure. Incredible.
You slam a small vial. You're like, ugh, disgusting.
Yep. Five. So one stress. Amazing. Really well
spent. All right, so we see Lottie. tank, bumping
along in the waste, big vault, float back down
to earth. Who's driving now? Did you remain in
your one on top of the other position? I think
it's funniest, so yes. We dropped them off, but
we did not rearrange on the skimmers. We just
left in a hurry. You were just like, well, I'm
not moving. stubbornness at its peak. Yeah. So
we're bumping along to the library, and you see
it from way out. You see it way before you get
there, because what they call the library is
actually a whole system of buildings that are
huge and bulbous and white. Like, they're so
white, they're practically glowing. And they're
all round, and a bunch of them are wedged up
into the side of a canyon. It looks a lot like
the NASA training simulator that tries to simulate
living on the space station. It's in Utah. Or
perhaps Union Terminal in Cincinnati. Shout out,
Union Terminal. So... These bulbous little 12
-foot globes surround this whole area, and the
canyon forms kind of a natural cul -de -sac.
So you immediately see that, like, you're not
gonna sneak up on these people. They have intentionally
set themselves up in a very fortified type of
position. And just looking at those 12 globes
that are surrounding it, you're like, okay, that's
the tower or the alert system or something. Like,
what's your strategy? I picture you guys slowing
down as you approach. Yeah, what do you guys
think? Is there, like, a visitor's gate? rolling
in. Not really trying to sneak in or just assuming
there's like a front door. Sick. I'm also assuming
like the skimmer has like a mode where it just
kind of like it's just like a putz mode. Basically
where it just kind of like it goes real slow.
It's two modes are faster than you want and slower
than you want so yeah so we see y 'all creeping
along and as you get closer You watch the little
12 globes around the bigger cluster buildings
start glowing. And before your eyes, you see
a bunch of drones whir into action. There's maybe
30 drones in midair, and they've each got a little
light on them, so it's very clear when they move
into a formation. They move into a shape in midair,
which is a big X. Huge lines in the sky. Flashes
a few times. And then the drones reposition and
the X becomes like a big cartoon hand, just palm
outstretched as if it's saying like, wait. And
you're like, oh, okay. And hustling out from
one of these like tower globe thingies, you see
two figures in full body white clean suits, like
hazmat gear. They're wearing huge masks with
a big flat disc over the face and three prongs
sticking from the back of the head. Looking at
these masks, you're like, Oh, if you took out
one of these prongs, and if the mask was dirty
and scraped up, it might look like a hammer.
So the figures come stumping up to you, waving
hello. Hello, welcome to the library! Ah, how
can I help you? Muffled through a big hazmat
suit. Oh, yeah, yeah, I was just looking to get
a library card. Wow, that's really cute. Oh,
wow. Um, so my name is Troya. I'm an assistant
researcher in the historic division. Have you
ever visited the library before? No, no. I'm
really excited. Wonderful! I love new patrons!
This lady is young, she's got curly hair, she's
clearly working through a memorized script of
some kind. Not really listening to your answers.
So, let me talk you through the process. In our
two centuries of service, it has always been
APR &E's mission to support the preservation,
growth, and development of Helican society. Education
is part of our mission, so all are welcome to
benefit from the library's non -classified resources.
However, we must support ourselves too. So to
access the library, each patron must make a donation.
Acceptable donations are anything the library
doesn't already have. This could be technology,
biology, or historic artifacts. It could also
simply be an interview in which we would add
your entire life story to our archives. One donation
allows access for one patron for one day. Your
group will be assigned your own personal guide,
that's me, to help you navigate. And of course,
no weapons and no biologic technologies such
as the juice are allowed on the premises. We'll
give you a ticket for anything you might have
packed. She's like forgetting the script. She
looks at her buddy. Her buddy's like nodding.
Yeah, it's like a valet thing. So we'll give
it back to you when you exit. Any questions?
I thought like if I brought two forms of identification
for where I live, that I could just get a library
card. We flashed to the two forms. What forms
of identification would you have? One is just
like... Tickball trading card. Yeah, a tickball
trading card that has my location as just Defresco
Fuzz Stadium. And the other is like an electric
bill. It just doesn't have your name on it. It
just belongs to the team. Ha ha ha, funny joke.
I'm happy to talk you through the donation process.
So in game terms, if you donate your life story,
it will be free, but it will take a long time.
I will tick time for each of you. You can argue
for other methods, including flashback or load,
like I prepared X or Y to bring with me, but
that would be expensive because they don't just
want whatever bullshit you have lying around.
Remember, it's anything the library doesn't already
have. So you'd have to really sell me on why
it's special enough. So hi, I'm Lottie. This
is Tank also. We haven't introduced ourselves.
A lot of our life story is probably stuff you've
heard before, you know, trash planet residents
and all that, but I'm old enough to remember
the fall if you need anything cleared up in your
pre rebellion archive. That's wonderful. That
would be a very welcome addition to our archives.
That is still, unfortunately, your personal life
story, which would... That was Lattie trying
to be like, I can tell you the important bits
and skip the lame part. Well, I brought this
for a different purpose, but I have a PSA 10
Tank Bosman Fresco Fuzz rookie card. Did you
draw it? Be honest. Would there be trading cards
on? I think there would be, yeah. Let's actually
roll fortune to see if yours exists yet or if
this is one you drew. I think on a six, you do
have like a tank rookie card. Six! Yes! On a
six, what is the photo they picked of you? What
do you look like? Oh, jeez. I think it's when
Chopps threw me into the tick tree. In tick ball,
like everyone's rookie card is like an embarrassing
photo. That makes sense. You don't get a cool
one until you've been a veteran for a while.
That makes total sense. And frequently people
die before they make it better. Nice. Okay. She
kind of smiles. She's like, oh, wow, that's you.
Great. We would love to take your life stories
for your donation. Tank, you have another thing.
Your mask. Your mask is pretty new. Your mask
is from Offworld. yeah you could let go of that
i'll also say like thinking about we completed
an objective and no time you know the the time
clock hasn't passed so like it's that's true
okay for one of you to just use that i i don't
think tank wants to tell his life story though
yeah that's interesting good point yeah yeah
i think i think tank's gonna have to give up
his mask what's that look like did they give
him a replacement Look, what about my mask? Oh,
tell me about it. Is that offworld material?
He looks at Lottie. Tankside eyes Lottie. Lottie
completely no sells it. Just absorbs the look.
Wonderful. Yes, I'm sure this would suffice.
It looks fairly advanced. Lovely. Would you like
that to be your donation? Yeah, but could I get
like a replacement for it? That makes sense.
Let me confer with my associate. The two of them
huddle for 15 minutes. This is accurate to librarians.
Anything that happens, you have to huddle for
15 minutes beforehand. But then one of them sort
of scoots back to the office and comes back with,
it looks a lot like Connie's mask. Just kind
of shitty, basic, you know, crumpley. This is
the paper, COVID mask equivalent. It's bad enough
that you're going to take a penalty on it if
you use this indefinitely going forward. But
she's like, will this work? I guess, yeah. All
right, we see that moment tank un -clipping,
handing off beautiful sleek mask and strapping
on a mask that looks just like Connie's. Lottie,
what are you thinking? I think I'll spend some
load here. So Lottie rifles through her overall
pockets a little bit and digs out some like vials
of juice plant like her concoction mixes. And
it's like, well, you said I can't take these
into the library anyway. Do you have like botanical
or medical archives that these could? these samples
in? Oh wow, tell us more about them. I start
with what we're just, I guess you could still
call them plants, but they're, you know, the
plants around here and go through some processes
that I learned somewhere else to turn them into
medicines, poultices, etc. So my idea, I don't
know if this is really how it works or not, but
it's kind of a hair of the dog thing, right?
If you get sick from the juice or from the stuff
here on Trash Planet. The stuff here can maybe
fix it up for you. That's what I've been working
on. All right, so you're saying this is a completely
unique string? Yes. All right, excellent. Sure,
I think this will suffice. This is going to be
for load. That sounds like what I was going for.
All right. And so the two of you continue. Troia
says, OK, well, if you could disembark from your
skimmer, do you have any weapons, anything that
you would like to check in? Of course, we will
return them all to you at the end of this. Not
on me? That's true. Yeah, y 'all don't really
have weapons. Yeah, yeah. Just takes huge, crazy
body. My body is a weapon. It's also a temple.
And also kind of a sewer, too. So I think as
you're preparing to walk in, Troia steps in,
oh, um, what is this? And points to the birthday
boy who just waves placidly. He's my boy. All
right, give me some kind of role here. You need
to convince her to let you take this thing inside
because it is visibly strange. What do you want
to do with this? Actually, he's kind of physically
impossible to remove right now. Like, he's fused
to me. Oh, is this a juice burn? Uh, yeah. Okay.
She disappears with her buddy for 15 minutes,
has a little conference. Birthday boy just kind
of, like, looks up at you. You have that wet
sand kind of thing, like you see part of him
is dripping away at the bottom, and you're like,
ooh, yeah, he's losing power. Yeah, she comes
back, she's like... Okay, we're going to request
that you just be careful and mind yourself and
also security will remove you immediately if
there are any kind of disturbances. Yeah, yeah,
makes sense. Alright, and so we see your two
silhouettes walking in to the big beautiful globes
of the library. So we cut over to Enla and Connie
you have actually just filled out your repair
skimmer track, correct? All right, and so we
see that beautiful shot of the two of you leaning
over this busted -ass skimmer Getting it back
together and finally and let twist the handle
roars to life hovers Creaking a little bit perilous,
but functional baby. We got a real -ass skimmer
right here. What do you want to do? I would suggest
going to the library, but we have some time to
spare. So you want to go to a puppet show? Do
I want to? No. But yes, let's go to a puppet
show. I don't know if you, I mean, you haven't
seen one of Volpertinger's puppet shows, but
they are truly an experience and I can't wait
to share it with you. Is there audience interaction?
Maybe. Amazing. Alright, so you recall this beautiful
riddle that was told to you, which I won't bother
repeating. I'm not gonna make you puzzle it out
because it's all just complete bullshit and the
landscape of Trash Planet is changing constantly.
So your first task is just finding this fucking
place. So you're gonna be navigating around trying
to remember which landmarks are where, maybe
getting on the radio talking to people. What
would you like to roll to try to find this puppet
show? I think I would be messaging other Rovens
to try to figure out if they knew where it was
at, and I think I would roll fine for that. I
will say, you remember that Volpertinger's on
the outs with a fair amount of people right now.
That's right. Yeah. We recall that, of course,
Volpertinger stole, quote, a tall puppet from
the Skimmers' Trust, thus endangering the relationship
of the Rovens and the Skimmers' Trust. does pissing
off a lot of people. So how would you proceed
knowing that information? I have an idea. Yeah.
What if we contact one of the Rovens and act
like we're hunting Volpertinger for them? See
if they have any clues as to their whereabouts.
Not a bad idea. Not a bad idea. Are you sure
you weren't a Roven? I just know how to manipulate
people. Um, so I would like to reach out to one
of our roving friends from our ceremony, our
jailbird ceremony. I'd like to reach out to Zelina
Gorsk. Ah, Zelina Gorsk. The bundle of sweaters.
Zelina Gorsk, the bundle of sweaters. You pull
out your radio and you ping them and you get
the exact same looping message. That's Volper
Tinger's voice. Zelina Gorsk is in the show.
Unfortunately. She was the right person to call.
Yeah, good thought. Tough stuff. Damn it. Then
I will reach out to the Weathermen who are related
to the Rovans, but they don't necessarily engage
with all the politics of the Rovans. All right,
you get on the radio. What do you say? Weathermen,
Weathermen, this is Enla. I would like some help
identifying the location of a particular show.
Long silence you have to scoot around a little
bit find a good place to send out that signal
finally you hear on the horn This is green toe
Gary weathermen mouth town, how can I help you
and look? Hey green toe Gary. How you doing?
I'm good toes green as ever Wouldn't have it
any other way. I I was wondering if maybe you
might know where a vulper tinger might be Sister
you and me both. I would love to know where vulper
tinger be got new leads on them Nah, nah, I was
actually hoping to hunt him down for the bounty,
so. Right? Yeah. Deal with me both. Okay. No
leads on your end then? Nothing but the leads
on my toes that are on leashes. Oh, good. Good,
good. Not for sex reasons. Well, now I think
it's sex reasons! Bye! Bye! Another fulfilling
conversation on trash planet. Lord, the weathermen
and the Romans are useless. Um, can I call, well,
bunk is probably in the show too. Yeah. I think
the radio's out. We have to find this ourselves.
Hold on. What if, what if I pitch the woman they
slept with? Lynn Linda. Can I reach out to Lynn
Linda? Funny. I would allow this because it is
stupid. Incredible. Okay. I'm going to need you
to spend something on having her contact information.
So that could be flashback stress. That could
be load. Yeah. I'll take a flashback stress of
me chatting with Lynn Linda at the jailbird ceremony
and her wanting to exchange information to ask
me more about roving life. So we cut back, the
last time we saw Linda at that ceremony, Volperdinger
was making out with her and then stole her mask
in the middle of making out, which she didn't
notice at the time, because she was in that air
bubble created by the restaurant. I don't know.
I think we cut to like 10 minutes later and Lyn
Linda are chatting and Lyn Linda is in her springy
dress and she's saying, I just think it's so
incredible what you Rovens are doing out here
in the waist. I mean, to survive against so many
odds, it's really extraordinary. I mean, you're
really artists, you know, you're really doing
things. Thank you. Thank you. I, you know, I
like to think that we are, we are, we are just
born to be artists through all the strife that
we encounter. That's incredible. Despite your
disadvantages. Wow. How inspiring. You know what?
I'm doing a documentary. Do you mind if I...
I would really love, actually, if you were interested
in being the focus of my documentary. I mean,
not the complete focus, but just to get you on
film. Oh, oh, I mean, sure, we can trade some
information. I'm actually a performance artist
myself. We cut. Oh, you have her personal radio
code. So you ping her. What do you say? Lynn,
Lynn, this is Enla. And like, you have to be
so quiet. The show's about to start. Oh, oh,
you know where the show is? Yes, I'm at the show
right now. Where are you? Oh, I'm trying to find
it. I couldn't figure out the riddle. I've got
the whole documentary crew here. Wow, it's gonna
be really exciting. Okay, can you tell me where
you are? Absolutely. She gives you some coordinates.
Alright. So, please give me a find roll with
a plus one from Lynn Linda. That is three sixes.
The crittest of crits. The crittest of crits.
I'm sorry, that was like the best luck ever.
That's the best endless ever roll. The universe
really wants us to go see a puppet show. Didn't
I say the threads are with us? Well, Inlet is
obsessed with art. This is where she'd go. Okay,
so crit is tick three unless you want to tick
two and try to think of another advantage later,
like kind of bank something for later. No, I'll
do three. Is that three to the puppet show? Yep,
three to the puppet show. So that's a three out
of four? Yep. The scene is you and Connie scooting
around the hills following these coordinates
and Linlinda has been intermittently on the radio
just like, oh my god, do you happen to have,
Volpertinger says they're missing bolts? They're
missing like three quarter inch bolts. Do you
happen to have three quarter inch bolts? How
about nuts? Do you have nuts that are three quarter
inch nuts? Like it's just a lot of things that
Volpertinger has been missing. So with this in
your ear, you are flying over the hills, having
a nice day out in the wastes. Connie, how's your
day going? You're having a frivolous time. I'm
on some horrible substances right now. Part of
it right now is Connie doesn't want to cause
any more people to leave. So like, you know,
this puppet shows what it takes. Like we need
us to be together, especially facing the odds
of Trent Dorton. crazy super weapons. So not
thrilled about having to go see a puppet show,
but you know, it seems like a necessary task.
So you got drugged up to go. Also like being,
you know, ingratiating our group to as many people
as possible. It's got to be the play right now.
I like that. All right, so it's the two of you
scooting around the hills. Where would you like
to send the action? I think Lottie just because
we need to get to, you know, some Grindr stuff.
Yeah, yeah. Uh, yeah, so I guess we're walking
into the library, right? Okay, do they have a
receptionist? So as you walk in, first you have
to go through the airlock, which is exciting.
The air is filtered out and then replaced. Um,
you know, it's not painful or whatever, but you
are just really aware of how clean and how protected
this space is. The drones followed you all the
way in. Like you got the sense you were being
scanned and shit. Incredibly locked down here.
Um, you see people all around. Inside, it's not
clean suits that same way, but everybody does
look very tidy, very together. Air filtration
inside, you can take your masks off. When you
walk in, you are immediately handed little booties
for your feet and gloves for your hands. So yeah,
there you go. Your guide, Troy, says, all right,
so however I can help you, what are you interested
in learning today? Well, um... We're probably
trying to start with some research from before
the fall. So when we were still able to do recordings
on like mini -disks and stuff like that. Do you
have a player here? Oh, mini -disc reader. Absolutely.
Do you have a mini -disc with you? No, I was
hoping to get into your mini -disc archives from
before the fall. Let me confer with my superiors.
Disappears for 15 minutes. Standard library procedure.
Yeah. So she, Foxoff, comes back and says, we
have decided that provisional limited access
is appropriate. So yes, you will be allowed to
look at things unless you are not. So yes, I
can take you right over to that wing. Excellent.
Thank you. Yeah, so you're really getting a sense
here. It's a strange interplay of they're like,
absolutely, it's all wide open to you. And also
it really doesn't feel like they want you here,
right? Like everyone is looking at you as you're
walking through. The library is about 200 or
300 people that actually operate and live here.
You're seeing people in like nice, neat office
clothes, like incredibly well maintained. This
is a closed loop. These people live at the library.
And so they take you into a back room that is
neatly stacked tons and tons and tons of crates
and boxes, all alphabetized, all great order,
huge row of many disk readers, big old computers
that only display one color at a time. So it's
like black screen, green stuff on the screen.
She says, OK, so can we narrow down what you
are looking for? I think so with me. Yeah. flopping
around in your booties on your feet. Because
right now I'm trying to bullshit my way to one
of these readers without telling them about the
disc. Also a quick side note, does the birthday
boy have to wear gloves? That's a great point.
They went aside for 15 minutes to discuss this
and they came back with tiny little baby gloves.
Sorry. No, it's good. Okay, I'm gonna start.
Well... Um, if you're not aware, this is a rising
tickball star in the fresco fuzz. So we would
love to do some research into the tickball teams
from before the fall and the strategies that
they've employed and that sort of thing back
then. Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. You know what?
Let me go start rustling up whatever we've got.
So she is going to scoot around the room picking
up stuff. You know, she's checking her tablet.
She knows where everything is. Is this a distraction
or? I'm trying to like get into a situation where
we're like at a mini disc reader and like using
one. with like some other thing okay or like
have a reason to be there that's not our disc
okay so i would allow this feels like sneak right
like if you're trying to stealthily use a mini
disc reader yeah so please give me a sneak roll
okay so we're like i have the opportunity to
use one like right now yeah like she's scooting
around the room she's not watching you watching
you um yeah can i help on this yes you can what
are you doing to help You're gonna take your
one stress to help to assist and give Ladi a
plus one, but how are you helping? I see there's
like they probably posted up some additional
like people to keep an eye on us and They're
just like kind of outside the room. So I'm gonna
go talk to them and I'm gonna try to convince
them to be my boys Do you see that ludicrous
display last night You guys are the boys. We
cut to the middle of the conversation. You're
trying to boy these people. Yeah, so we have
like a small men's group. Yeah. And we meet semi
-regularly. There's like, my boy Janouche. He's
like, they call him the ghost. It's really cool.
It's not because he's really old. Listen, mate,
you're quite a bit far south. I don't think we
can make it out to this boys night thing. Yeah,
but like, it would be sick. We got a guy who
makes yogurt. It's not as sad as it sounds, I
promise. Sounds pretty damn sad. Hey, well, we
don't get yogurt around these parts, so... You
want some yogurt, Jimmy? I've never tasted any.
Wow. I guess I could have brought yogurt. Trevor,
it's useful! But like, I can count you in for
like... I guess, mate. I don't know. Listen,
vacation days are very hard to come by. Okay,
but like, you get them, right? Sorta. What would
be a day that works for you guys? Meeting two
guys at a bar and just being like, no no no,
when are you available? Get your calendar out!
Incredible. We cut back to lying. Hold on, hold
on. I need them to self -commit to a date. How
about an inconsequential charm roll to see if
this helps boys night? Incredible. Yes, let's
do the boys night roll. I don't have any charm.
Uh, that's a two. It would have been a six. Wow.
No ticks on boys night. Heartbreaking. Heartbreaking.
Yeah. Yeah. But like, when are you guys free?
Jimmy, this guy's kind of weird, right? Yeah,
but like, just give me a time, man. Like everyone's
got free time. Mate, you're being really aggressive.
It's weird. I'll throw in some free tickets to
a tick bowl game. I'm in. And we cut back to
Lottie at the computer. So I have bad sneak.
So that would be bad, but I'm getting help, so
that's plus one. Yes. So it would be a regular.
And you could choose to push yourself and take
some sneak. That's what I do want. OK, OK. So
two stress, right? Two stress and add one dice.
I forgot all that was to sneak around. I failed.
I got a two. So you failed your roll. There's
going to be two consequences here. The first
one is you're going to lose time. Second one
is you're going to arouse suspicion. I think
I'm OK with both of those. I have a lot of stress
right now. Really? OK. So you've got her scooting
around looking for tick ball bullshit. Tank is
out in the hall having a beautiful conversation.
And you try to stick the disk in the machine
and it immediately beeps and clanks and is not
working. Right. And she whips around and she
says, Hi, I'm so sorry. What, what is that? What'd
you? Oh, um, I was, well, the machine started
beeping when I, when I pressed. No, but what
is that? That's not organized. That's not one
of ours. Yeah, I brought this one. Where did
you get it? I got it from, um, a man named Marscapone.
Jim Bob? You know him? Wait here. Disappears
15 minutes. Just going to keep doing it every
time. It has been over an hour. You've just been
digging around in this library, doing nothing.
Yeah, we haven't lost that much time. You're
right. Actually, let's take two because like
time is proceeding at regular pace. Dang it,
I shouldn't have said anything. You fool. Four?
So four out of six. Yeah, we're four. Yeah. So
what happens next is Troia comes back with another
woman in tow. This woman is older. She is maybe
your age or a little bit younger. She's clicking
up to you in like small heels and she says you
spoke with Jim Bob Moscapone Not quite. We received
this from him He gave it to you Yeah He gave
it to us before he died. Yeah, he slid it into
my back pocket He was like he was dying for sure
Just the addiction on this, like I know Tank
is genuinely sad, but it is really funny to be
like, yeah, he was dying, damn. One might say
it was like his dying wish. She takes that seriously,
and you see actually she... Finally someone takes
me seriously. For the first time in Tank's life.
She doesn't well up, but you see strong emotion
on her face. She says, thank you so much to your
assistant, Troia. And she kind of nods and walks
away and shuts the door behind her. And you see
this woman pull out a rolling chair and just
sit down heavily. And she says, okay, so he must
have trusted you. I'm so sorry, Festival. I'm
so sorry to hear of his passing. He worked closely
with us. This is really heartbreaking. I assume
you're up to date then. He told you. What was
going on? No, he told us nothing. We were kind
of there to, like, rough him up a little bit,
but then Johnny Law came in and we kind of, like,
became friends on the battlefield, you know?
She looks at you, she doesn't know, but, you
know, you're being honest with her, so she's
just like, okay. She's just, all right, please
take a seat. He would have wanted you to know
because he wanted everyone to know. and she sticks
the mini -disc into the computer. Black background,
only display green. She hits a few buttons, taps
through some menus, and we see a program drawing
out digital lines. Just looks like chaos at first,
like it's just generating like a wireframe shape,
just jagged shapes. She gestures, there are like
rolly chairs that you guys can sit in and pull
up next to her, and we're watching these lines
trace over each other again and again, fleshing
out the shapes until we recognize it. We see
the chips. This is a 3D rendering of the chips
and the city of Fresco underneath. So these sketchy
little rendering lines, they're filling out the
city, but they don't stop there. They keep going
down. So the wireframes are tracing out big organic
shapes now. You'd guess these are different densities
of rock or earth or something. Text is scrolling
at the edges of the screen. Words and numbers
you don't recognize, but even to your untrained
eye. You see a huge, jagged triangular shape
directly under the city. It's a pyramid, like,
scraggly pyramid, reaching up. And it's huge.
Like, just judging against the size of the chips,
we're talking hundreds of feet. This woman is
looking at you, worried. So the wireframe finishes
rendering by adding simple textures to all the
major shapes. Like, a layer of dots to indicate,
like, this is different from that, you know?
And this 3D model is spinning, and it's, like,
moving through different slices so you can see
every part of it. at once, and you realize it
does not add dots to the big triangle. And that
is because there's nothing there. That big triangle
is a void, right under the city. You're looking
at a sinkhole. So Ivy pushes her glasses up.
It's lucky we even caught this. We've gotten
some donations of juice variants we've never
seen before. So we conducted a geological survey,
which... Course didn't end well. Normally this
area's fine, the juice is corrosive, but we lucked
out on geology. That's why the chips were so
stable. They fell in a perfect place. It shouldn't
have mattered, like the groundwater that it was
corrosive shouldn't have mattered, but something
must have changed. Very recently, the juice table
is moving in ways we can't explain, and we're
seeing corrosion at a much faster rate. So yes,
there is a sinkhole developing under Fresco.
I don't know when it will collapse. I can't begin
to imagine the magnitude of damage. But I am
expecting the worst. I'm expecting to lose supply
lines, communication, food production, water
refinement, all of it. We have to get people
out. Why haven't you told anyone? We have. We
told everyone we could. There's no central government.
There's no one we can trust to carry out evacuation.
I mean, we couldn't go in and say, oh, you should
leave. You should trust us. You should just go.
Go where? With what resources? And people already
don't trust the library, so we were trying. to
do, well, it was Jim Bob's idea really to do
a soft power thing, try to incentivize people
to leave on their own. We offered to move Hellicathedral
outside the city. That's why they're building
the new base. We offered to give the fuzz a new
arena far away and they turned us down and Jim
Bob kept asking and it didn't go well. Tank,
you put it together. The job from Sherhadi was
completely legit. It was like, tell Jim Bob to
stop bothering us. It was about this. So I mean
the library has some emergency resources ready
to go, but no one has enough not even I mean
Maybe the grinders, but they won't they don't
believe us. They won't help a Few people know
more people than we'd want including Johnny law
that we believe have two of our geologists But
wait, they operate in the city too. Why would
they want you to stop telling people? They killed
Jim Bob. They're gonna take over I mean, this
is there's going to be a massive disaster and
people who were ready They're gonna be prepared
to take over those supply lines, the communication,
and... The pile of rubble? Yes. Why? It's free
real estate. What else is there? Where else do
people go? If there's anyone left. Anyone to
be in charge of. She nods. I mean, these are
the conversations she's been having for months.
Do you think it's, like, man -made? I don't know.
I mean, we couldn't complete it. I have been
fighting with the director of the library for
months to do a second survey but of course because
we lost two we lost two people in the last one
they managed to send out this data and then communication
ceased they never made it back we never heard
from them again so no we don't have more information
i can't convince anyone to get more information
i don't know when i don't know this is rudimentary
you know you look at this pile of graphs you're
like yep it looks simple enough you know so the
library's official policy is wait for Fresco
to eat itself alive and then speak to whoever's
left in the aftermath. I don't want to do that.
I want to help, but what can I do? It's not.
It's more of a pile of swatters than a real city.
Hard to kick him out. I mean, you could teach
us to be geologists. I'm a quick learner. I went
to medical school in one day. Trash Planet is
a HyperGallant production, edited by Nehar and
game mastered by Rabbit Sullivan, music by The
Dren, The Serfs, Crime of Passing, Herbert's
Again, Matthew J. Rolland, and our very own Rabbit
Sullivan. Trash Planet is powered by A -State
Second Edition by Morgan Davey, Malcolm Craig,
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now Johnny Law knows, and we wouldn't have told
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