Trash Planet contains themes of desperation and
poverty. We portray a comedic, absurd, and violent
world. For a full list of content warnings, please
see the episode description. back to Trash Planet,
the podcast that beats ass and eats trash. When
we last left off, Tank had just completed his
first game as the goalie for the honorable Fresco
Fuzz. He didn't score any points, but he did
get to see a man's face get ripped off, which
is almost as good. And so we hear the crackle
of the pyrotechnics. We hear the roar of the
audience. It's less of a roar now. Now it's more
of a like sort of general yelling and like trying
to find your friend and just like, hey, we are
pelting off the field. pushing back fans who
were trying to get in, heading to the locker
room. Tank's tickball game ended five minutes
ago. Tank, you're having a hard time enjoying
it because out of the corner of your eye, you
keep seeing a flash of movement. You're being
gang -stocked by funk legs. There's a full flock
of birds that, like, you're trying to enter this
building and all these birds are like, they're
coming with you, baby. Like, we're in here. They're,
like, standing in front of the entrance like
a bouncer and trying to step past them. Yeah,
yeah. Those powerful legs are like, oh, man.
So they keep dipping and diving and snapping
at you, they get big round beaks. On top of that
you're swatting the air where these fucking mosquitoes
are out. It's like not even the right season
for mosquitoes. You're mosquitoed as hell. You
are really delicious to animals right now. Everybody
else is just sort of heading back inside. What's
your vibe right now? You've won the game, but
you're covered in bugs and critters and shit.
Exactly. So people are celebrating. People are,
you know, slapping each other's back. UFO nods
at you with their arms crossed. How does this
strike you? Can I get a read on what kind of
nod it is? Like at least a direction of the nod.
Yeah, it's an up nod. It's an up nod. You feel
respected. You feel validated. Oh. Tank is riding
high. And walking up to you, we see the big pisser
who is wearing only a towel at this point. It's
got a hole cut out. Well done, buddy boy. Oh,
thank you. Thank you. And just so you know, like,
your identity is safe with me. Well, that's obviously
because you don't know it. So I'm a man of mystery.
He's still got the gimp mask on. I forgot to
say. I mean, I don't know if you noticed, but
you're wearing your Helica federal badge. Slap
it back inside of the town. Tomorrow it'll be
on all the tabloids if there were tabloids, but
whatever. He says, so you come into the after
party. I didn't even think about that. There's
like. Afterparties? Oh, yes, of course. We're
gonna get fucked up. Not me, of course. I have
to remain vigilant. I'm a man of mystery. Yeah,
yeah. I would love to revel in our victory. Revel!
Yes, yeah. He'd like to revel! Right, Garth?
You're coming to party with us, aren't you? I
wouldn't miss it for the world, baby. What's
Garth vibe post -game? Well, he got his very
needed taste for blood. He got to beat up a whole
bunch of people and then saw the divorce guy
get his face ripped off. While the divorce guy
wasn't one of his formal rivals, you know, it's
just good to see. It's good to see one of the
enemies die for once. We have a brief montage
of three Fresco fuzz tick while players dying
in funny ways. What's the first one, Devin? The
first one is like running towards the goal is
about the score, but steps on like a pile of
leaves and falls into a spike pit. Yeah, sounds
about right. Maddie, how does the second one
die? The second one dies because somebody lands
on his stomach and so he explodes from both sides,
like pops its sides like a toothpaste tube, but
just both sides. Evocative, beautiful. What's
the third one? The third one died because they
used a special move to land a goal except the
goal had already been damaged So they got the
goal, but they also skewered themselves on the
goal Devastating devastating We zoom out of demon
guards eyes, he was just remembering all the
comrades he lost Yeah, so big pisser says all
right Well, the bus is leaving in about 15 minutes.
So get fresh get a good look Yeah, so Tank, you
have a few minutes here to get dressed and get
ready. And also it occurs to you that you got
a bunch of buddies out there on the field. You
know, people you know. People I know. You also
remember that Connie yelled at you and called
you selfish and I don't know. What's your vibe
right now thinking about people who came to see
your game? I would say Tank's vibe is, I don't
know, he's very ready to like jump on the Fresco
fuzz bandwagon and kind of like forget Well,
it's going on at the screaming slice. Hmm. What
is your cool outfit? We see you step into it's
gonna be kind of like like very like matrix coated
like a Same or so it's gonna be he has like weird
sunglasses in Slight little sunglasses. Yeah,
slightly little sunglasses Ponce name It's like
a cutoff latex duster But he's still wearing
a crop top t -shirt and so few shorts underneath.
A latex duster. Yeah. Cut off, cut off. What
cut off where? Cut the sleeves. The sleeves.
That's what a cut off is. I thought I was confused.
You always have a crop top. And so I was like,
did you cut off a duster? A crop top is not a
cut off. OK, OK. I also just. sidebar. I love
that you know what a duster is. Anyway, it's
a long cardigan for those of you who don't know.
It's a very long cardigan. You say that to a
cowboy, oh, beat your ass, boy. It's closer to
a trench coat. Yeah, I would say it's more of
a trench coat. But the sleeves are ripped off.
All right, and the camera cuts and we see Halbert.
Oh, baby. She's got the big hammer mask on. One
arm is slung around Yanush's shoulder. They are
singing an old Union song. So they're sharing
a hollowed -out bowling ball, which is full of
Kettle Jack, which is, of course, the alcoholic
mushroom drink that is the cheapest liquor you
can find. As a reminder, Halbert is wearing a
bunch of green plastic bottles strung together,
and Janouge has a two -foot -tall Christmas tree
on top of his head. Pretty good game. Pretty
good time. We're feeling toasty. We're feeling
a little bit sauced. Where is everyone? Lottie,
are you hanging out with these clowns? What are
you up to? Yeah, I think Lottie would have been
excited to see Tank. What's your vibe post -game?
In the throes of... Vicious joy as we watched
him in his face get ripped off. Lottie has that
vibe of like a grandparent who was taken to a
sports game that they don't really understand.
So like everyone's cheering and celebrating and
Lottie says like, yay, we won, I think. Incredible.
Enla, you and Runk are loping through the crowd.
You probably spotted the crew and you're making
your way towards them. What are you and Runk
talking about? We're talking about the anatomy
of faces being ripped off and how exactly the
minutia of the filaments and the facial structure
would fall apart. Let's get a minute of that.
Yeah. You know, I bet I could put that guy back
together, actually. You think? Yeah, I mean,
there's too much blood loss now for him to be
alive, but yeah, I mean, it'd be a good challenge
to try and put a face back on a face. I mean,
it would be, but I feel like the muscle structure
would get completely obliterated, right? You
just have to put the attaching foam in the right
areas so it doesn't freeze up the face while
you still have, you know, attachment to the muscle
tissue underneath. I guess that's fair. It doesn't
have to move, so... Yeah, it's not much different
than getting Botox, I'd think. You make your
way over. Just another normal cute conversation.
It's the after party. Halbert is saying like,
and they all go down together. Takes a huge sip
out of her hollowed out bowling ball. Fuck me.
I just remembered what a fucking hassle it's
gonna be going back home. Petra, where did we
put - the key? Did we lock it or did we weld
it?" Petra is there in her folding chair and
she's like, we did weld it. And Halbert's like,
fuck, we welded it. Did we bring the welder?
And Yanush is like, no, dog, we didn't bring
the welder. Fuck! Because every time we totally,
the screaming slice is never totally closed.
So whenever we close it, we really close it.
We don't want anybody getting in there. And now
everybody is lightly hammered. This is dissolving
into a gentle argument as we're wandering back.
And Halbert says, do you think we should like
wait for Tank? Like, is he calm? He's probably
busy, right? Looks at you, Connie. Connie, you
just lost a bunch of money. How's your night
going? What's the vibe? Well, Connie's no stranger
to losing money. Like, the losing money isn't
the part that hurts, it's the fact that, like,
the gamble didn't work, you know? Like, luck
was not with him this day. Especially considering
he lost his crazy parlay bet in the first second
of the game. Legend. Oh, you see your bookie
like sort of salutes you on your way out. This
guy loves you. You've lost so much money to this
guy. I give him like a stoic nod. So I'll just
say in response. I think we should just head
back. I mean, if he's gonna join, he can join
on his own. He can make his own way back. Yeah,
he could. Yeah. So you guys are walking along.
It's a nice night. You know, games start before
dark and they end with it just hitting sundown.
Stars overhead. Not a lot of light pollution
here, actually, which is... Really nice. You're
looking up at this big brush of all the shit
that burns up in orbit. Like it is frequently
very colorful and beautiful up there in the sky.
And you're making your way home and Enla, you're
feeling light. You're feeling expansive. There's
moonlight streaming down, cool little breeze
breaking the heat. You remember there's a new
shank shank mural. You think it's pretty close
by. I could just go check that out. Hey, you
guys. Um, so... One sec. Uh... Okay, sorry. All
right. So let's do the engagement role. Oh, Lord
Jesus. So normally it's 1d6. Today you're at
a disadvantage. This is going to determine who
you get to go with when you see the mural. Give
me, unless you can think of any reason why you
would get a bonus in this situation. Just had
her first date with ronk? Feeling fine? Feeling
flirty? Feeling a little flirty? Not confident?
Sure. Let's call it 1d6. That's a two. Okay.
So let me give you the scale. With a six, you
would have been with whoever you chose. With
a five, you would have chosen one player character.
With a two to a four, you were with one NPC,
so that's what you got. You get to choose anybody
who's with us in the group. With a one, you would
have been alone. So yeah, who do you want to
go see the mural with? One is the loneliest number.
It is. I want to go with Runk. Yay! All right,
let's see that moment between y 'all. Hey, so
I heard there's a mural up here of Shang -Shang.
You want to check it out with me? Is it yours?
No. Actually, this one's not mine, but I kind
of want to see what this artist's take is. Yeah,
I mean, it's getting kind of dark, but sure.
I lead him down the nally. Important question.
Runk, do you know this is a date? I mean, I think
they felt the... game was a date. This is just
like, it's not even let's go see the art museum.
It's let's go see that one sculpture in an alley.
You mean my proposal to go look at art in a darkly
weird alley is not romantic enough for you? That
was the point of the question. Like, is it one
of yours? Yeah, okay. Inlet takes Runk's hand
and runs with them through all these little sidewinding
trails until we come across the mural. Halberd
turns to literally no one and says, ah, love.
She turns to the camera maybe, I don't know.
This is the Farragut neighborhood. It's closer
to the metal chips. It's more built up. So Bugtown
is super hand -built. Farragut has prefab buildings,
shipping container buildings, just a little bit
above your postcode. Looks nice. It's higher
buildings, harder edges. This is a great place
to run around on the roofs and stuff. Pretty
quiet now. There's a lot of industrial stuff.
A lot of drugs get made here, but you're not
afraid because this is still kind of your turf.
But yeah, what are you talking about with Runk?
Inla is kind of getting shyer as they get closer
and closer to the mural and so she's getting
more nervous about exactly where ronk is standing
with their relationship So, yeah, I just I don't
hi I thought this would be fun Thanks for going
to the game with me. It is fun. I'm having a
lot of fun This is a nice nice little capstone
for the night, isn't it? I mean It's not really
about you. But but people people recognize you.
I think that's that's something to be admired,
right? I guess. I mean, I don't know if I want
to be recognized as a homicidal maniac, but think
about it as being recognized as fearsome. Oh,
I do like that. So you make your way through
this crusty little alley that is between a chemical
refinery and looks like a general shop. Like
they're both closed. Big old school businesses,
they've been around for a while. And normally
the walls here are just graffiti or old posters,
whatever, scraped up. Here you see the shank
shank mural. It is a splattered abstract gesture
of a figure, two arms outstretched, both holding
knives. And where the face should be, it's a
void. It's like a black splashy nothing. And
it's huge. It is the size of the building, very,
very tall. Somebody got up tall to do this. beautiful
work of art. We see you looking up at this dark
shape. What's in your heart? Inla is moved by
the artwork because she loves art. So of course
she's going to enjoy looking at art. And she
just can't seem to like take away or look away
from the void of the face, missing the face.
Where'd they get so many paints? There's so many
colors in this thing. Well, I mean, there's lots
of ways that you can make paints, but You can
use some juice with various pieces of trash to
get different types of magenta and cyan. My personal
favorite is, you know, grinding up some... You
hear something metallic rolling towards you.
You look down and just barely register what looks
like a half -crunched soda can, and then the
world goes white. You're either going to take
harm or you're going to resist. Oh, shit. I'll
resist. Okay. This is going to be a classic prowess
resist. Okay. That is a five. That's a five.
Hey, all right. Marks stress. What goes off is
a little handmade grenade. Unusual, higher tech
than you wanted. Where are you at on stress right
now? On one. Okay, cool. You hear bodies moving
in the dark. You hear feet hustling towards you.
Someone's shouting. Your head is ringing, this
white flash. Like, it didn't quite get you, but
you have that blurred half moment where it's
all kicking into high gear and you look up and
you see fucking mo -gitty. You see, Moe Giddy
and a couple of friends glinting guns in the
dark. Runk, you are beside Enla, you are in an
alleyway, you are far from your friends. This
is an unplanned mission. You have one clock here,
it is a six clock. This clock is simply called
Giddy Girls, so you could escape, you could overcome,
you could do whatever you want, but Moe Giddy
is looking at you with a feral smile, her eyes
sharp. She's here to kill you, and this is go
time. What do you want to do? And his instinct
is to run because she's definitely overpowered
and rugs with her so she doesn't want to endanger
them Yeah, and it is totally possible to try
to get back to your group like you could find
the crew, you know Yeah, am I passed out like
nope. You didn't take harm. You resisted. Yeah
We have the cool ego, you know Yes, yes flashbang
Runk, a bunch of people who look scary have popped
up around you. What are you doing in this moment?
We're gonna play this the way that NPCs normally
are. We're like, Runk doesn't have a sheet, but
you can add, you can assist. You could, you can
talk to Enla, like you can talk about what can
happen, et cetera. I mean, I know who the kitty
girls are. Yeah, so I can I think I can tell
like either by the methods or I know But she
comes stomping out. She goes. Hey She is wearing
her bikini. Of course. She has a machine gun
ready to go behind her She is flanked with reason
smoke There's Mercer giddy in her scary white
dress and with them are some unfamiliar faces
If Connie was here, he would recognize this as
Big Ed from the Panzers and a couple of their
buddies. So it's We've got some big hitters here
that are maybe here as a favor to Mo. Closing
in. Looks like grenades made out of homemade
soba cans strapped across one woman's chest.
Like bandoliers. Yep. Looks good. Looks scary.
Emma, they have a gun. We gotta get out of here.
Absolutely, yes. Emma pulls out of her pocket.
She got some more smoke bombs from her performance
arts friends. So she pulls out a couple of those
and immediately throws them to the ground so
that they can potentially run down the alley
that's behind them. Okay, I should say this is
an unplanned mission, so your load is locked
at two. That's the most you can ever have. Also
flashbacks cost one extra stress, but you can
still do flashbacks. So I think a smoke grenade
would be one load, if that's cool. All right,
so take plus one on your roll here. This sounds
like a classic A state problem. I think sneak.
Yeah, okay, I take sneak, yeah. Wait, what? You
used a grenade so you get a plus one on the wall.
Oh, so I'll never roll that, I'm sorry. So it
would just be one, because I would have gotten
a one. I got six! Yes, okay, Phil. Incredible,
incredible. The rules save us. Click two on the
Giddy Girls' clock. You and Runk are pelting
down the streets. You guys holding hands? No.
Too fraught. Too fraught, too fraught. There's
no romance, this is survival. Incredible. Runk,
do you have any kind of weapons on you? Yeah,
Runk just as a tool, not really as a weapon,
has a bone saw on them. So like, I think it's
just probably like on a hook that's, you know,
like back here, kind of kind of like a holster.
They pull it out, but this isn't going to help
very much here. Man. Okay. So what do you want
to do? You have two filled in. I'm going to try
and lose them at this point, right? Because I've
gotten away from them. So now I'm going to try
and get lose them. So this is when I grab Runk's
hand and start like leading them around to try
to like get and get through the maze that is
this part this is that is fair get yeah okay
trying to navigate the maze with holding rung's
hand and jerking them around where are you going
i am headed well we probably came here on rung's
skimmer right to the point where we couldn't
get the skimmer through the narrow alleyways
but i like this yeah yeah i think the roads Diversion
front of you where there is rung skimmer and
there's also your friends who you walked here
with like you could try to lead them You could
try to get back to the big group of people walking
home from the game And let turns towards the
group and starts yelling loudly Guys kitty girls
are here kitty girls kitty girls Okay. All right.
What do you want to roll? You're still running.
You're still sprinting. I would take a touch
here. I'll do touch then. Yeah This is desperate
standard also You can get an assist from ronk
probably like if there's anything they can do
to help But yeah, I don't know not well just
running. Yeah, not well running, but if there's
anything else Yeah, okay for I got a four you
got a four. Okay. All right You're gonna tick
one on the giddy girl's clock The next thing
that happens is gonna be a level of harm and
it's gonna be another grenade going off You could
resist one or both. Those are two consequences.
I Would like to resist the harm Okay, if I get
a choice, yeah, you're gonna take the grenade
I guess yeah, okay. All right, so Those are two
separate things Yeah, it's funny Mo giddy is
gonna pull back on her machine gun. She's gonna
spray the alleyway you resist. What does that
look like? Inla and Runk hit the deck, just drop
to the ground as low as we can get, and then
barrel roll to the side of the alley so we can
try and get out of the path of the bullets. Stone
flying everywhere, pinging off of metal walls,
fucked up, fucked up stuff happening. All right,
and then the lady from the Panzers is going to
reach down off her bandolier and pull out a grenade,
hook it in your direction. another flash grenade.
So this is going to affect, I guess I should
have said it was two levels of harm. Yeah. Do
you want to resist? Yeah, they are both harm.
I don't know what I was thinking, but that's
fine. I feel like as soon as endless sees her
reach for the second grenade, she immediately
like covers both her and runks eyes as best as
she can. Sick. Okay. Give me that stress resist.
That's going to be prowess. Okay. That is a one.
Yes, that's five stress you you have trust you
can share stress Yeah, this is true. This one
rocks you it hits right at your feet You don't
take the harm from it But it is so close and
so loud and all of a sudden all the colors are
brighter. Everything is Screaming into action
around you the heart pounding pretty rough stuff.
What do you want to do? I'm gonna give some of
my stress To ronk. Okay, sounds good. How many
are you giving? I'm going to give them two. Okay.
If you could track that somewhere. They have
nine, same as y 'all. I'll still take some. I
don't want to like... This is the use of your
trust on your end, by the way. Okay. All right.
How many stress do you have left? Four. Okay.
All right. You're scrabbling up. You're on your
hands and knees. You know your friends are pretty
close by. What do you want to do? Call out to
them if they haven't heard already Guys, seriously,
please help Okay, Connie you hear endless voice
in the distance. You're now playing two characters
I'm assuming I'm with the other like, you know
with Lottie at least not tank. Yeah, okay and
Critical tank. Did you bring your radio? Like
my pager. Yep. Yeah, I probably have it on me
We're starting a 4 o 'clock, which is get to
friends. You're with Lottie, Halbert, Petra,
and Yanouche, and that's it. Sounds like endless
screaming for help. There was like gunfire and
stuff. That was definitely her voice. We need
to go. Find? Okay, yes, yes. Oh God, I'm not
good at finding. Group action? Group action,
yes. And take a plus one for your NPCs. Can I
attempt? Help as well. Yeah. Oh, yeah, you're
yelling. Yeah. Yeah help them find me. Why not
Marco? That's six hell yeah, do you take any
stress I take to stress Okay So we're starting
a four o 'clock, but because you got a six we're
gonna take it to Enla, what do you want to do?
Your buddies are coming. Do you shout anything
back or you're just sprinting in the dark? Enla's
trying to balance not giving away her position
to the giddy girls, but also trying to give her
position away to her friends. So there's a lot
of zigzagging and dragging ruck along with her,
trying to hide behind various objects and just
keep avoiding the gunfire. OK. What do you want
to roll here? What do you want to do? That is
a good question. That sounded like sneak again,
but I really need more prowess. Oh, this is desperate
standard also. OK, that is two. Also, you rolled
a two on your sneak. I did. Okay. Also, Marka,
it was a desperate action. So Marka. You've had
two desperate actions. Is that in the playbook
or is that on prowess? On prowess. So I get to
level up prowess. Fuck yeah. Do it immediately.
Do it immediately. That is the plan. I'm doing
it on sneak. You're gonna take two levels of
harm. I'm gonna like, okay, so what am I? This
is two different prowess resists. So I need to
know what I'm trying to resist, right? Getting
shot and then getting shot again. Good, okay.
I mean, is my zigzagging and stuff not already
trying to avoid that? So you rolled to sneak,
you failed at your sneak, and now this is the
impact of that. I would like to resist by jumping
into a side alley that we can hopefully try to
get out of the view as quick as possible. Okay,
are you going to resist both? Both wounds, both
levels of harm, or just one? Absolutely. Maybe
one can protect. Ooh, okay. So I'm going to roll
to resist getting hit the first time. Yes, okay.
That was a four then, yeah. That was a four.
Okay, take two, stress. You have two boxes open.
uh you dodge out of the way of the first few
bullets but then when the second flurry comes
i think runk like knocks enla out of the way
and probably like gets winged okay you look over
you see big ed from the capsule motel maybe you
know maybe you don't he's a big fucking guy he's
got a desert eagle what do you want from me oh
just clips you right in the shoulder ah how are
you on stress runk does have stress right yeah
i'm fine okay you got shot but you're chilling
all right I'm harmed. I'm harmed but totally
cool about it. Famously relaxed. Enla, what would
you like to do? When Enla sees that Ronk is still
standing and getting shot at, she reaches up
and grabs their arm and yanks them down into
the alley with her. So they're out of the line
of sight. Bins clattering around you. Random
bullshit on the ground, scrabbling under your
feet. Blood. You smell blood. And let's try to
find the best way to get to her friends so that
they don't get shot at, but also so that we can
try and solve this problem. So I'd like to roll
for find. OK. Better attributes. That is a two.
That's really upsetting because that was my good
attribute. Fuck me. You lied. All right. You're
getting shot twice unless you resist. Motherfucker.
I'll give you a devil's bargain. You're going
to take level two harm. You're going to fill
your first track and you're going to fill your
second track, but your friends are going to be
there instantly. Sure. I'll take the harm. Okay.
All right. Please. Harm is brutal. Harm is fucking
brutal. The trauma is brutal too. I don't know.
All right. So we see runks skinny -framed spinning
into the alley, scattering like papers on the
ground. And then we see Moe Giddy sprinting up,
machine gun out, and just drills you. Like, this
is bad. Like, she gets you stomach and chest,
and you hit the ground and you scream. And in
that moment, who arrives first? Like, who is
in front of this group? Probably me. I mean,
I led the group action, so it seems like that
would be the case. You have been sprinting towards
gunfire, so I would accept that you had something
prepared. Like, what do you want to do in this
moment? You come across the scene, which is five
people, Enla and Runk on the ground, Enla wailing
in pain, and a lot of guns here. What do you
do? During the last little bit, like hearing
the second round of gunfire, Connie is going
to almost instinctively, like, activate the pager
and just jam the one button. Okay. This sends
it out to basically everyone, but obviously hoping
to get Tank. You hear Endless Pager go off, which
breaks your fucking heart. She's in a pile on
the ground. Lottie, yours buzzes too. Tank, where
are you when your pager goes off? You said there's
a bus. Oh yeah. There's a big stupid skimmer
bus, which is just fully a party bus. There's
a bunch of drunk tickball players. We see Sonny
Kong making out with a cardboard standee. What's
that about? That's weird. You can't make eye
contact. Everybody's acting like it's totally
normal. Loud pulsing music, you know of dark
lights in here people are dressed up people are
drinking like there's kettlejack spice like manja
like whatever's passing hands Yeah, kind of a
strange scene. I don't know How are you fitting
into this picture at this party bus, you know,
they're like the first time you go to a party
and it's like You are not really comfortable
and you're kind of like sipping on a drink or
something like in the corner trying to talk to
someone who's maybe a little more like friendly
not like balls to the wall partying you're talking
to Ernesto who is driving this bus so how long
how long have you been driving for all right
you know uh i guess we we took off about six
minutes ago i guess six minutes this is like
your your first time driving a bus is it that's
a question for you man Your pager goes off. Tank
takes a look at the pager and he sees that Connie
spammed the emergency. And if it was anyone else
in the group who sent this page, I think Tank
would have been there in an instant. But since
it's Connie, I think Tank just puts it away.
Brutal. We smash back to Connie, you're in the
alleyway, people in front of you. You hear from
behind, oh fuck no! And Halberd comes charging
up. You've never seen her fight before. Remember,
she's tiny. She's a bowling ball of a woman.
She's like five foot two. She plants her feet
in the ground, like pulls her whole upper body
backwards like, and then BOW! She punches forward.
She has that hammer mask and there was a blast
of kinetic energy that just fills the alleyways.
Like everybody go, oh! And so this is the same
technology that was in that shield that Jim Bob
Marscapone had. It's just, she has hers as a
concussive blast. And so you're going to have
advantage on whatever you roll next. Or you're
going to add a plus one because Halbert is in
the mix. She is lightly drunk, but she's here
for you. What do you guys want to do? I'm going
to just first yell out, like, we need to get
Enla out of here. Whoever is going to do that
can do that, but I'm not playing around with
this, so I think to load is gun and ammo. Holy
shit, okay. I will allow it, but I do want to
acknowledge how funny it is to bring a sawed
-off shotgun to a tick -ball game. Just in case,
I don't know. Yep. I mean, we did establish I
was paranoid about Johnny Law coming after us.
It's true. So, uh, like in my head, I just took
it everywhere. Okay. It's under those robes.
Yeah. We see Connie flip up the robes, whip out
this dirty, nasty plastic shotgun. Lonnie, you
feel that strange churning sense of deja vu.
You're like, oh. it's war it's war again there's
dead bodies on the ground there's guns out what
are you doing dead body yet well i mean enla
is looking not great yeah enla is looking as
close to dead as you've seen her oh well yeah
what do you want to do we'll get back to you
connie ladi definitely wants to prioritize enla
i think like enla and ronk were out ahead of
the giddy girls they were sprinting after so
there you guys are coming from the opposite direction
Kind of Enla's in the middle now, you know? So,
yeah. Yeah, Ladi's gonna start sprinting towards
Enla and Runk. Well, they were hit by a flashbang
just now, right? They were. Were they? No, they
were hit by a gunfire. Yes. Runk has been lightly
shot. There were a couple flashbangs. The bangs
you resisted, right? Yes. She's resisted every
flashbang so far. Okay. Being gut shot is real
scary. It's very scary. It's real bad. Sepsis
and, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, Lottie wants to get over
there and help. I just don't know what the action
would be when she gets there. Drag them away.
Yeah, I just literally just get them out, probably.
I would allow care if you wanted. I would also
allow touch, I guess. I mean, you know, like
you are physically trying to do a maneuver. I'd
go with care, like trying to move without hurting
or without making it worse or anything like that.
Absolutely. Okay. I propose that she gets another...
Plus one because rung can move bodies very well.
Yes helping. Okay. I will accept that also dead
weight. Yeah. Okay. Pushing is too stressed.
Yes. Two stress plus one. Yeah. So I would accept
that. Yeah. Okay. So you can get Halberd's plus
one rung's plus one and then you're pushing yourself.
You said that would be four. Whoa. I like it.
Combat combat medic and less important. Okay.
Oh, thanks. A six. Yes! Yes! Okay, what does
it look like when you effortlessly just scoop
in here? After that shock wears off, a little
bit of Lottie's training from back in the day
comes in, so she actually manages to pull off
one of those cool fireman roles to pick up Enla,
with Ronk's help, and then she is just like...
Like booking it with rank like helping support
in those weights so they can move faster. Okay,
hustling down. Yeah, take two on giddy girls.
Where are we at? That's a five out of six. Okay.
Well, I'm wondering if the clock is going to
reset because now you've brought a gun into this
fight. So I think the clock goes back down to
three, because now it's like, okay, well, before
it was an assassination attempt. Now it is we're
going to gun battle your asses, you know, so
giddy girls down, it goes down to a three out
of six. All right, so that was a success. It's
just the situation is bad. So where would you
like to send the action? And I'm like, you're
like still alive and stuff. You can do things.
Yeah, I feel like I feel like I'm in shock. Do
you want to turn on? I'd send it here. I don't
really know if she's just going to talk or something
else. Yeah, that's fair. Could just go right
to Connie. We actually cut back to Ernesto. Yeah,
I've been going for many a year now driving this
party bus and the party never stops. Wow, like,
what's that lifestyle like? Like, I can't imagine,
like, a never -ending party. You really can't.
You think you can. You think, oh, I'm young.
I can take it. I can hang with the big boys.
He gestures expansively back at, like, people
are, you know, chugging and howling. He's like,
you live it. You live it every day. Wait, are
you, like, partying right now? So Connie we have
established is very like passively observant.
He's going to take cover until a moment when
he knows like He can count to the 30 bullets
when it when mogeti will have to reload So like
as soon as that moment hits because I don't think
she's paying enough attention to her ammo I think
she's in the throes of like just wanting to get
revenge like hitting that moment of weakness
and Shoot her with a shotgun. Okay. What do you
want to roll? I think fight right because i'm
shooting the gun. Yeah, I would call it fight
And I don't get halberd's plus one. Is that right?
I think there was this crazy confused moment
where everyone showed up at once. Halbert blasted
them and everyone kind of regrouped. That moment
is over now. I think everyone is sort of taking
battle positions, hiding behind stuff, wedging
up against the walls of the alleys. So I think
Halbert is done for the moment. You could get
help, actually. You see Janouche with his Christmas
tree on his head. He's got a tiny little, like,
stun gun baton. He's like, oh, you just say the
word, man! Yeah, I'll say the word. I think I'll
say a thing like hold on and then the gunfire
is going off while we're taking cover and then
now and I try to get him to charge while I'm
also shooting the gun fuck yeah okay take you
know just plus one on that and I'm gonna push
myself to good three dice total don't don't fuck
me that's a six incredible What was your goal
with this? Like you were trying to shoot MoGiddy,
right? I 100%. What's it look like? So we wait
for this perfect moment and MoGiddy is in a position
of power right now. So she's like fully out of
cover, like just wildly firing the gun. Yes,
she's spraying. Yeah. As soon as I hear that
telltale click, I yell to Janouge to go now.
And he charges at her. But before he can even
get to her, I've risen up out of my cover and
fully shot her in the midsection. Like just the
spray of, I think I said I had like iron shavings
because we don't have buckshot. Yeah. Okay. Crazy.
Loudest sound you've ever heard. Like the whole
world compressing in that second. First time
you've ever shot a person. What's that like?
Firstly, it hurts my wrist a lot more than I
thought it would. But then just seeing the spray
of blood on the alleyway is crazy. Way more blood
than I thought was in a person. oh man okay and
on that six i'll actually give you petra petra's
not a combat person but she immediately was like
and ducked and rolled out and got on her radio
rig that she always carries and she knows your
guys's frequency and so tank you've never seen
your pager do this before your pager lights up
and says tank this is petra i'm sorry for hijacking
your frequency we're in a gunfight right now
You guys had no idea that your radios could do
anything other than set numbers. Petra's like,
forgive me for dismissive. Ernesto, stop the
bus. What? Stop it. I can't drive. I'm drunk
as a skunk. Oh, we've been sitting here this
whole time. This is a PSA from Trash Planet.
Don't drink and drive. This is a PSA for trash
planning. The camera cuts to Tank sprinting out
of the box. All right, that's a four o 'clock
and I'll give you one tick on that perfect success
for Tank to arrive if he would like to. Yes.
Okay. Connie, where would you like to send the
action? I'm going to send it to Lottie, but before
I do that, can I say something to the rest of...
Firstly, I don't know if Mo 'Gitty's dead. She's
definitely like on the ground, right? Yeah. Okay.
So you see Moe getting just fully blasted backwards
off her feet. Like she is not a heavy person.
She just like on the ground and she's howling
same as Enla. And she's not dead yet, but she's
gonna die. Like unless someone intervenes here,
she will die. Yeah. I'm just gonna yell to the
rest of the crowd, especially like pointed towards
the Panzers. Like you do not want to make an
enemy out of me today. Okay. I like that. Lottie,
you've got Enla wrapped up, Runk is crowded in
beside you, picturing you slammed up against
a wall. What are you doing? I think in the moment
where Mo 'Gitties has stopped shooting because
Connie shot her, we're going to make a break
for Runk's skimmer, which is nearby, right? Yeah.
Like, I mean, you can try to get out of here.
That makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know how
far it is. I just know that, like, there was
they had two options. So it was close -ish. OK.
Yeah. So I want to try and get and let out of
the chaos as soon as we can. OK, I would take
find. I would take sneak. I'll go with fine.
I can also assist. This is a desperate standard
also. You can't assist. Well, I mean, I'm just
hanging off of you, but I can be like, you're
going to take stress if you assist. That's fair.
You just take one more just for the hell of it.
I'm stressed. I'm harmed. I'm fucked. It's fine.
Petra's still texting you. She's like. Tank we've
never really spoken one -on -one before Now's
not the time I also have no like ability to send
it I'm gonna push myself. I have two dice for
that and instead of taking the two stress. I'm
gonna blow my trust and send it to tank Okay,
you absorb two Are you too high up? I mean I've
got three left now You get a strange sense of
guilt after ignoring the pager. Yeah, actually,
yeah, you ignored Connie's initial message, and
then you got Petra's like, I don't know, what
are you thinking as you're running? If only...
If only Connie wasn't such a fucking idiot, would
have been there earlier. Okay, perfect. Lottie,
give me that roll. Two fives. Two fives, okay.
If you would like. You and Enla and Runk are
able to exit the fight. Like, you can just be
out of here if you want. You will be leaving
the scene. The actors will leave the stage. But
it's up to you if you want to stay in like the...
I think Lottie would stay. Lottie would help
Runk get Enla onto the skimmer. And then... Okay,
we got her onto the skimmer. Just get her somewhere
safe, Runk. Get out of here. Guys, it hurts.
It's okay. I'll get back to my shop. I have some
stuff to help with the pain. Where's Goliath?
Oh my god, wait a minute. Oh no. Fortune roll,
right? Because you've always got your snake on
you. I do. Fuck me. Do you want to call odds
or evens? Call your shot. Evens. Evens, snake
is safe. Evens, it's hard. It's so close. You
say, where's Goliath? You feel a little beady
eyes, a little sneaky, little mouse head poking
out at you. Emotional support gunk snake. And
Emma just holds him on her chest. The skimmer
rips out into the night. Super fast, cool night
air. You and Ronk have made it out safely. While
Adi's running back, I'm going to send the action
over to Tank. I'm just gonna try to get there
as fast as I can. Hell yeah. This is controlled
standard. This is not a problem for you. Probably
sneak, right? Maybe, well, you're hearing gunfire.
Maybe do find with a plus one because you're
hearing gunfire. Same as sneak. Okay, okay. That's
a six. I love our sixes today. Tank, you arrive.
How do you arrive? What's it look like? It's
a long shot down the alley. and tank like comes
into frame and he kind of like does the like
scoot on one leg like he kind of like yeah like
just like kind of slides in yeah um uh you are
still wearing let us remember a latex cut off
duster stupid sunglasses and your selfie shorts
you look out and behold the scene before you
connie is standing over what looks like a dead
or dying giddy girl yanush is like sort of wailing
and running towards people. Petra sort of nods
at you as you pass her. She is like, bye. She
is out. She has done her thing. Where would you
like to send the action? Your action was arriving.
Okay. Lottie, Connie, and Janouche, oh and Halbert
are also on the scene, but it's just Enla and
Runk. Okay. Okay. So I'm going to send it to
Connie. Could I just ask Halbert, could you give
me another one of those? She goes, hold on. She's
cranking something. She has a very small crank
on the back. It's like, yeah. So you're going
to get her plus one on whatever you're doing
here. Okay. The worst possible one of us to witness
this is Tank and he's the only one who gets to
witness this. Oh no. So I think from Tank's perspective,
like I made a deal with MoGitty and she completely
just like. went back on that. I'm not a fan either.
Yeah, that's fair. In protection mode. Well,
I'll say from her perspective, she's been waiting
for a moment when you were unavailable. She specifically
hit when you were out of the picture. Does Tank
know that Enla's down? Depends how many of Petra's
texts you can read. So we were walking along,
scroll, scroll, scroll. Because it's like eight
characters at a time. I think with the the gunshot
and everything that happened, there is a bit
of a lull in the action. I don't know if Lottie's
coming back. I don't know if I see Tank. He's
probably behind me. Makes sense. Yeah, I think
Tank's running up from behind you. Yeah. And
Lottie is probably running back also behind you.
You're as far as you know, you're here with Yanush.
So this is going to be a show of force, but I
don't even mean it to be. I just want I'm just
so bloodthirsty for Moe Giddy who I have such
a strong hatred for in this moment. I think she
was probably like a little bit behind some barrels
and I just walk up the second barrel of my double
barrel still loaded. I lean down and pick her
up and point blank I blow her fucking hand off.
It's awful looking and like I think it's in full
view of the rest of her army. Again, the loudest
sound you've ever heard just echoing off these
alley walls. It's just like a shot of Connie,
Mo 'Gitty, Connie, Mo 'Gitty, and Connie just
like, it's like a low shot. He just pulls the
trigger and blood splatter onto him. How did
the other people react? Yeah, you hear Mercer
cry out, that's her sister. You see Big Ed kind
of go, whoop. That's it, he's a Midwestern man.
Boop. Boop. Yeah, no yeah. What do you roll on
this? Okay, so I guess my only question is like,
for you this - Can I do a Persuade? Because killing
her isn't the roll. Yes, you're right. Yeah,
pulling a trigger is easy. Yeah. Okay, give me
a Persuade here. And take plus one for the brutality
of the act. That's a crit. This is the scariest
thing Connie has ever done. I'm a little scared
of Connie. Oh my god, okay. You were pretty close
to her when the gun went off. And the camera
tracks as you straighten back up and there's
blood left on your face and your white hair and
like the moonlight coming down. Big Ed looks
at you. Merce looks at you. Start running. You
just killed the shit out of Mokitty. They are
not coming for you now. Footsteps pelting down
the alley, tank out of breath behind you, Lottie
running back, standing over, body in the street.
It's eerily silent, and then you just hear the
empty shells clattering on the ground next to
Mokitty's body. And I think I turn around and
look at... Everyone from my side of this fight
also looking at me with the same look that that
Mercer Giddy was giving me a second ago. Halberd
walks up beside you and smacks you real hard
on the back. Doesn't say anything, just leaves
her hand around your shoulder. She's little,
so she's reaching up, but yeah. She deserved
it. For sure, yeah. Halbert turns back to, I
think you guys have entered at this point. Right?
Tank just nods his head. Anything between Tank
and Connie in this moment? There's a lot of tension.
Yeah, but now's not the time. Alright, I think
the night ends with everybody walking home. Well
Tank, where do you go after this? I don't think
Tank's really in the mood to party anymore. Tank
is just gonna like go home. But Ernesta wants
to party with you. You like you pass Ernesta
on your way back the bus has not gone anywhere.
It's just like outside my window. Yeah and so
I think the camera pulls back on you like taking
off your your cool coat. Didn't really get to
wear it. I set my sunglasses down on my desk.
Oh, you still got your birthday boy shoulder
paladins on. Tank, we see that shot again of
you in your cracked little mirror looking at
yourself. What do you see? All the color has
drained from my face. There's been a lot of adrenaline
depletion today and he's just beaten down a little
bit. Tank's seen some gore today. Yeah, this
is a lot. Like, he's also upset that, like, he
probably could have been there sooner. And he
let his personal feelings with Connie, like,
get in the way. We cut over to Connie. You have
successfully defeated all the saw traps that
you left when you left the Screamin' Slice. You
are settling back into your quiet tent on the
roof. Another night on Trash Planet. You lie
back down onto your bed, which I've always pictured
as just kind of like a pile of stuff that's soft,
you know? I'm not lying down. He's sort of overcome
with this viciousness now, and since he does
know how to write, he's got... he's basically
made, like, I don't want to call it a hit list,
but like, at first he was only really after the
giddy girls, but now he's not just completely
ignoring the fact that the Panzers are as powerful
as they are, like, I'm gonna fucking kill Big
Ed now. They came after us. They came after us
with lethal force. There's only one solution
now. And the camera pulls out on the screaming
slice, and we cut back to a couple days ago.
And we cut over to Enla, heading out across the
city, scooting through alleys, looking at Bugtown,
beautiful and bright. You're heading up Middlechips
Way to Runk's place, which, Runk, can we hear
about your place a little bit? They live in a
commune in the middle ships They're all a bunch
of like scientists biologists as far as trash
planet goes, you know They can all read and write
but the levels of their expertise are not terribly
well They're not standardized So they're just
kind of specialized in whatever. It's basically
it's a commune. That's also a lab that's full
of like homegrown scientists people and a bunch
of weird diseases and weird problems that they're
trying to solve through genetics and biology
and all of that. Obviously, RUNK also makes their
living disposing of bodies, so there's industrial
machinery to do so, but for the most part, like,
I think it's as sterile as a place in Trash Planet
generally gets. It's not perfect, and of course
they have some, you know, they have weird growths
and stuff that are hard to contain when you don't
have the right equipment. But yeah, indoors,
stark lighting, that's what I'm seeing. What
is Runk doing when you find him, Enla? Enla just
goes right on in, because she's been here a few
times, so she just is like, hey, Runk! Runk!
Quiet. I think this one reacts to noise. Oh,
shit. And when Enla walks into Runk's room, they
are hunched over a table with this bioluminescent
mushroom in front of them that is reacting as
they're talking. Look, it's just the vibrations.
It's like a visualizer. What's a visualizer?
Oh. That's a good point. Sorry. We don't have
Windows Media Player. You mean my childhood.
Brunk saw it in a dream. I'm sorry. Yeah, sorry.
I was just afraid that if we were too loud it
would explode. Well, I don't want anything to
explode can I talk like yeah, of course, of course,
okay, okay, okay Yeah, so tank had some extra
tickets. So I thought maybe you might want to
go to the tickball game like with the rest of
everyone Yeah, I guess I just I mean I have an
extra ticket and I thought of you so I Know a
really good spot. That's like up high in the
city. You know, it's only big enough for two
people Yeah, yeah Good, yeah, it sounds nice.
I didn't know you were a tickball. I have mixed
feelings, generally, but I do kind of like to
watch people get beaten up. And the camera pulls
out. This little glowing bioluminescent thing
in a petri dish on middle chips, on Bugtown,
on all of Fresco. Big and blue and beautiful
and a bunch of people doing their best. Trash
Planet is a HyperGallant production, edited by
Nehar and game mastered by Rabbit Sullivan, music
by The Dren, The Serfs, Crime of Passing, Perverts
Again, Matthew J. Rollin, and our very own Rabbit
Sullivan. Trash Planet is powered by Astate Second
Edition by Morgan Davey, Malcolm Craig, and Gregor
Hutton. Check out our website at hypergallant
.com and find us on all socials at HyperGallant.
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