Trash Planet contains themes of desperation and
poverty. We portray a comedic, absurd and violent
world. For a full list of content warnings, please
see the episode description. is trying to eat
you, right? Yeah, yeah. Tank sees the birthday
boy, like, duck it into a building. He, like,
just makes it into the building, and the night
pig can't make it through the door. You're in
a dark and scary building alone. The birthday
boy is just in front of you, all of a sudden.
Big, crazy, melty face, cartoon eyes, party hat,
and it waves hello. Oh my god, it's you. And
the camera cuts, and we see blinding golden light.
We see a manicured street lined with curving
buildings. They're all shaped like friendly kids'
toys. Which makes sense, because we are in a
theme park. We see a huge holographic cartoon
mascot looming overhead. It's like stepping over
the camera. Gah! Step right up, kids! We see
roller coasters looming between the buildings,
corkscrewing, shining in the artificial sunlight.
We hear kids laughing and yelling. There's a
funky band playing in the distance. Pretty crowded
here. Not too crowded. You came on a pretty good
day. On the ground, we see patches of beautiful
multicolored bioengineered flowers. As the camera
zooms close, we see that they are growing in
the shape of brand logos. If you pick one, it
will douse you with designer perfume. The sun
is shining overhead. It is artificial. Everything
on the planet Arcellos is at a perfect 72 degrees.
The air smells sweet. We are on, as I said, the
planet Arcellos. the center of progress in industry.
It is a beautiful day in Peter Anteater's family
fun -tasm techno paradise. We are 15 years in
the past. So the camera is panning over this
long long long queue It's a fun queue like they've
got like little interactive stuff for you to
mess with but it's a long line It is moving very
slowly. We're seeing all kinds of people lined
up colorful flashy clothes exciting haircuts
Mostly kids a few parents this park is super
super monitored like there's cameras everywhere
So people feel comfortable leaving kids alone.
So it's not weird to see a kid alone in line
and we do see a kid in lonely line. We see Tank
at eight years old. What do you look like? So
Tank has like a straight buzz cut, not quite
like military cut, but it's it's just like real
short. He also is wearing like a school uniform.
He's got like the shorts with like the really
high like stockings and kind of like black dress
shoes, blazer jacket over top. A little lad.
What is your energy as you've been going through
this park alone all day? What's your vibe? I
think tank has just hit up all the candy and
ice cream places along the way and is like just
Completely like sugar -high like no supervision
and just like it's it's a great day It's a great
day. It's Peter Anteaters, baby. We love it here.
They call next, and a really nice assistant in
a crisp uniform waves you forward. She says,
hi, honey. You riding alone? Oh, hi. Yeah. Just
one. Yeah, just one. and she takes you into the
staging room, and she puts this crazy rig on
you. It's like a backpack, but there's also a
big wire cage that cradles the back of your head.
She hands you a tablet, and you have to scroll
through an NDA and a waiver and all this stuff.
And it's like - All things a child are equipped
to handle. You're just like scooting, scooting,
scooting. There's actually a flip book at the
bottom of it, so you're not looking at the words.
You're just watching a Peter Anteater do a cartwheel
or something. scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll,
scroll. You give a DNA sample to consent. You
hit the box. She's like, all right. All right,
honey. And then she runs you through about 10
minutes of neurolink testing, which is a lot
of like, all right, now follow this light with
your eyes. And the light goes from left to right.
You feel that wire cage on the back of your head.
A lot of like picture a square. Okay, you're
picturing a square. Now turn the square into
a rectangle, lengthening out, you know, things
of this nature. And as this happens, the camera
pans up to a sign above a big friendly doorway
and the doorway says nanomagic. Later, as an
adult, you see this for what it was, which was
a tech demo. At the time, LJACs were new technology.
That's the cybernetic implant that lets a human
brain interface with nanites. The nanomagic experience
at Peter Anteaters lets kids play with an external
LJAC to sell them on the idea of getting cybernetics
someday. So this backpack you're wearing lets
you do extremely basic, extremely cumbersome
nanite control. If you get a risky and expensive
brain surgery, just imagine it could be like
this all the time. Nanomagic, you know? But at
the time, you weren't thinking about advertising
strategies because the door opened and you experienced
real magic. It was like a dream in there, just
a hallucinogenic dream. every color all the time,
reflecting light as if everything in there was
made of prisms. The whole room is made of nanites,
so whenever it changes scenes, the room just
melts and changes around you, just reforms into
new structures. Like you're walking freely, you're
running around, you're touching stuff, like it's
forming as you're interacting with it. There's
even this clever thing happening where when you
walk and run, the nanites under your feet are
pulling you backwards seamlessly, so it feels
like you could sprint in every every direction
and it goes on forever, really this room is not
that big. It's like the size of an office, you
know? And so the rig on your back interfaces
with the nanites around you. If you concentrate
super hard, you can manifest like stairs underfoot
that will carry you up to a magic tree house.
You can shoot sparkles out of your hands that
kill ghosts, you know? It is the craziest shit
you've ever experienced and it immediately gives
you a shooting headache, but that doesn't matter
because magic is real. So this experience is
under 10 minutes long, and the story is basic.
You start out in a magic kingdom where a cartoony
little boy is having a picnic for his birthday,
and he invites you to share his birthday cake,
and then... A big cartoony dragon flies through
and steals the cake, and you and the birthday
boy are sprinting around in this hallucinogenic
landscape trying to get your cake back. And the
birthday boy is a really simple AI. It's designed
to guide you through the stages and, like, shout
encouragement and stuff. At the end, you defeat
the dragon, the birthday boy gives you a slice
of cake, and you step forward, and suddenly you're
back in the staging room holding a real slice
of cake that they slipped in. It's amazing. Magic.
This has been the nanomagic experience. So as
an adult, you can see the seams here. You realize
that the external L jack didn't work very well.
The whole time the birthday boy was saying things
like, oh no, the lava is rising. Quick, imagine
a ramp. Eventually, the ramp would form whether
you were imagining it or not. Also, there was
some kind of lawsuit about this years afterwards,
something about the rig causing heavy metal poisoning,
but you can't really remember that. Nanomagic.
And so you have this incredible experience. You're
holding a slice of cake. And then we smash cut
to Tank in hover car going home. Tank, you were
pretty excited about your experience today at
the park. And you want to tell your closest friend
about it, which is of course the AI of your car.
Nihar, you are the car's AI. Your name is the
Momomobile. You had to be there. It was like
the coolest, the coolest thing that's ever happened
to me. I'm sorry, Master Bosman. Did you say
you were cool? No, no, not like temperature,
like it was amazing, like real magic. Master
Bosman, magic is not real. But it was. It was,
Momo. I experienced it. I think I made a new
friend, too. Tell me about your new friend. his
name is the birthday boy and at first we were
just like having a good time and eating cake
and celebrating his birthday but then a dragon
came and it stole his cake and we had to go on
this big adventure and steal it back and then
at the end he said we'll be friends forever and
I already miss him I am glad you have made a
new friend hopefully we can find the birthday
boy again at home You think he would be there?
I don't know. I am not allowed inside the house.
The camera pans out, the Momomobile is huge.
It's pretty big. Master Bosman, did you do well
in the debate tournament today? I mean, it was
hard. I just... Karnas, he's just so much better
at forming arguments than me. I just didn't...
I participated, and our team won the debate,
but I don't feel like I contributed all that
much. I'm sorry to hear that. Your mother will
be disappointed with this report. Like dial -up
noises as it's sending the report. She's gonna
make me study all night again. Possibly. I do
not know. I am not allowed inside the house.
Momo, I did do great in PE class still. We played
this new game, and it was really fun, and I did
really well. And I carried the team to victory.
I do not believe you are physically strong enough
to carry a whole team of sports players. Oh,
no, Momo, it's like a figure of speech. It's
like I metaphorically carried the team. I didn't
actually pick them up. I did well enough that
I could make up for their deficiencies, you know?
Tell me about this new sport you learned. It
was called Splatter, and it was really physical,
and I've never played anything like that before.
You know, usually my sports are kind of like
individual. There's usually like some sort of
implement that we use, whether it's like a saber
or like a racket. But this one, it was just man
versus man. The camera pulls out and we see the
streets that Tank is driving down, which are
so beautiful it hurts. Like most of the buildings
here are made of nanites. They have been programmed
to take the shapes that they're in. It's very
easy to change their shape, so people customize
them all the time. They all have a uniformity
to them of being very beautifully well designed.
Everything here is shining and bright, lamps
overhead, lighting up streets in daytime. Beautiful.
grass all the same height doesn't even need to
be mowed a few people walking around exercising
safe you know it's comfortable and safe and we
think about tank and his little body man versus
man and you wonder when the last time is that
anybody on this planet like touched each other
you know like it's been a minute our cellos a
really safe place hey memo could we maybe like
go get ice cream or something together I don't
want to go home just yet. I have been given strict
parameters to not make any additional stops on
this journey. Oh, well, okay, I thought it could
be just like a fun thing that me and you did.
You want me to take action outside the realm
of my instructions? Well, yeah, I thought that's
kind of what friends do. Master Bosman, I will
have to send this as a disciplinary report to
your mother. Oh, not again. She assures me...
that you have ice cream at home but we never
have ice cream at home i wouldn't know i am not
allowed inside the house and so the camera zooms
back out we see adult tank the same person older
now wizened a wizened like 19 or 20 something
i don't know and you look up at the birthday
boy and you have a couple realizations This is
absolutely the same one. Like, you don't know
if it's the same exact one, but it's the same
model that you once encountered at Peter Anteater's
Family Funtasm techno paradise. It might be simple,
but it's complex enough to have two needs. One,
it's trying to self -repair. It's looking for
functional nanites, and it's looking for power
to make its nanites function. And two, it is
still trying to complete the gameplay loop. It
meets a kid, it loses its cake, it hangs out
with the kid, it gets the cake back, and then
it resets. Right? And you're like, it was looking
for the birthday cake. So these are the things
that you realize. So in this moment of realization,
we hear the night pig outside slamming its body
against this ruin. We cut back to the group of
three. What are you guys up to? I think we were
trying to find tanks. So have we caught up with
them yet? Let's say that you're within distance
of the building. You can see this night pig that
appears to have chased Tank inside. Night is
falling around you. What are y 'all gonna do?
Why is that thing specifically after Tank? I
don't know. It's night pigs. Well, we need to
get inside somehow. I don't know if we can kill
that thing. Uh, we should maybe check for like
a back door. We could trap it. That thing is
huge! It's so big! What would we trap it with?
Well, we do have a pit back there. I don't think
we want the night pig falling on all our stuff.
Oh, that's fair. I forgot about our stuff. And
like, you remember the night pig hunts of your
youth. Typically, you literally have to drive
them off a cliff, like the old buffalo jumps
of yore on a skimmer, bunch of, you know, Romans
just like howling at them. Yeah, it's tough stuff.
Night pigs are not easy creatures to get rid
of. So we either need to dispose of it. or find
another way to avoid it. Yeah, let's just try
to go around. It doesn't seem interested in us
at the moment. All right. I would take a scrounge,
examine, or find. And this sounds like a group
action to me, right? Yeah, I'm fine with that.
I'm pretty decent at scrounge. I'm good at find
and examine. I'm not good at either one, but
I'm part of the group. Yeah, and call it what
you want to roll, and then you can get a group
action. Let's do find to look for an entrance.
I got a five. Two. Two? I got a three. Okay,
so you got a five, which is a success, you're
gonna find another entrance. There's a consequence
of Night Pig is going to turn its attention to
you. Unless someone would like to resist that,
that is what will happen. Quick question, what's
the penalty on group roles again? Who takes the
stress? I believe it's the leader. The lead.
Yeah. You're gonna take two stress? Yeah. You
could... So I cannot resist. Well, you can pop
trust with somebody and make them take it. You
can also do that with trusted NPCs, and that
has, like, universe consequences. But there's
not any other NPCs around. No, you can do it,
like, in the universe. Oh. Like, you can make
somebody else have a bad day. Also, you have
trust with a couple people, right? Yeah. I could
put it off on Runk or Wolpertinger. that aren't
here. Two funny options, okay? Can I split it?
Can I do one for each? You gotta give two to
somebody. Alright, I would like to give two of
my stress to Volper Singer. Because you know,
they can take anything. Incredible. They just
had a really spoiled battery, you know, one that
had gone off, one that had rotten a little too
much. You'd give Volperdinger heavy metal poisoning.
Out there somewhere in the universe, something
happens to Volperdinger. I don't know. We'll
see. Sorry, Volpe. Yeah. In the meantime, you're
picking around the trash. You're kicking up,
like stuff's rustling under your feet, climbing
hand over foot, scratching up your fingers. And
you're climbing around this old ruin, which looks
to be... Some kind of old factory. Lottie, I
don't know if you were ever out here, but it's
old enough that you're like, oh, okay, you know,
this is old world kind of stuff. It looks like
it's been pretty thoroughly looted out. Like
it doesn't seem like there's, you know, hidden
treasures within, mostly just walls at this point.
But you also see a big battered rusted skywalk
that has still made it after all these years.
This is an old spaceship landing platform. It
used to be huge. It used to be able to support
the weight and the heat of landing spacecraft.
A lot of it has been dissolved by juice. A lot
of it was destroyed by rockets. This is a big
cavernous facility here. And so you guys kind
of dig your way into this building. So the camera
follows the three of you as you're picking through
this old destroyed factory. And you see that
the walls of this place are littered with dead
nanites. And they're so small that it takes a
lot, right? Like it takes a lot for you to visibly
see them at all. So you only notice it because
as you're kicking your feet up, you feel pressure.
Like you can barely see them, but you're like,
ooh, ah. Like if you close your eyes, you can
kind of kick into these piles. And so we have
this. Manic scene of the three of you just yelling
and like clawing through trash Sprinting around
the side of this building. It feels like running
in deep sand running on these trash piles night
pig Screaming after you spooky spooky huge big,
you know the pigs from blood -borne. It's like
that Yeah, fun fact about night pigs they just
get bigger like as they grow up they never stop
Getting larger. So the bigger the night pig the
older it is The babies are the size of like golden
retrievers and but the biggest night pig anybody's
ever seen was like the size of a building Anyway,
this looks like an adolescent pretty large coming
at you. You're going for it. I'm going for it
I would like to resist this night pig coming
after us Motherfucker. I get the highest so I
get a four which means I take on two stress Okay.
So I've narrowly avoided it. What does it look
like when you get this night pig off your tail?
What do you do? The best bet with night pigs
is to try to distract them with something else.
So I'm going to pick up a piece of metal, like
crushed up metal that I see next to me and just
like hurl it as hard as I can in an opposite
direction so that it sounds like there's something
rustling over there to try to distract the night
pig. Sick. Okay. And so I think you know shot
put the way that you throw shot like you have
to like spin in a circle and then hook it and
you throw it so strong and so good that it skips
and so it sounds like something is sprinting
away and so like this pig just like lurches out
after this thing. Wasteland moves baby. Enla
does a little bow. Lottie you're sweating. You're
out of breath it's night time. This night pig
nearly killed me. She doesn't even look at Enla's
bow she's just going inside. Granny's done. Granny's
tired. Where would you like to send the action,
Anla? I would like to send it to... All right,
Lottie, she went inside. Yeah. Okay, you guys
went in a different entrance, right? So you're
just kicking around through piles of nanites
and stuff. You see a lot of technology kind of
thrown around. You see old busted power cells.
And as you're walking, you're feeling more and
more resistance against your feet, more silvery
nanites, like there are so many that they're
visible. You're like, whoa, you know, silvery
clumps moving underneath you. At this moment,
you walk into the rear scene of Tank looking
at the birthday boy. Oh, Tank, you found him.
I did. I did. Tank is like still entranced by
the birthday boy. He's like not turning to look
at Lottie. How did you get it to stop moving?
I just... I've seen him before. Like on on trash
planet? Yeah, yeah. Birthday boy's still just
kind of looking at you. You can see its mouth
moving like its weird melty mouth and it's like
it's trying to talk to you. It doesn't have a
speaker or something, but it's making big friendly
gestures as if it's talking to a kid, you know?
Um, so I don't know eyes locked on you. It's
just sort of waiting for input, you know, you
realize this thing is collaborative It was designed
to play with kids. So I'm gonna i'm gonna kind
of just block out the surroundings and kind of
ignore everyone and i'm gonna go up to the birthday
boy and hey, hey, I remember me I We went on
that adventure together Remember And I think
I know what you want. Birthday boy just kind
of cocks its head, just kind of, you know, friendly,
empty look. Like, yeah, sure. You want some cake,
don't you? You say the word cake and like, well,
you know, visibly perks up. It's like gesturing
and you can almost read its lips. It's like it's
saying, we've got to find my birthday cake. Yeah.
I think I know where to get some cake, but we're
going to need our power cells back. Look, so
I'm kind of having this get together, right?
I think it would be great if you came. I'll have
cake there. But I need to get back. And you kind
of took our means of transportation. Would you
call this a persuade charm? Zero and one, zero
dozen in the other. I'm going to call this a
desperate standard, honestly. This is make or
break with the birthday boy. Okay. So anything
you can do to call on buddies, call on advantages,
use your load, use a flashback. We have done
no flashbacks. Oh, we have a giant flashback.
Okay. And I think thanks previous experience
in knowing what the birthday boy wants. Is at
least something, right? Yes, 100%. Okay, I'll
give you a plus one on that, yeah. Anything else
you can think of? I can still assist, also. I
would also assist, but I don't know if Lottie
can really do anything from where she's at? Like,
all of you are in the same room now, you kind
of filed in backwards. We're looking around,
we're seeing... As the camera pulls out, we realize
this room is the same dimensions as the old nanite
room at the Nanomagic exhibition, and we're seeing
a bunch of busted power cells where it has been
trying to recharge as many nanites as it can
to recreate its old show. I can think of two
ways that I can assist. One of them is kind of
more Looney Tunes. The first one was I was gonna
try to hook up the generator to the birthday
boy to like... try to like signal that we're
trying to help. The other one was that because
it's Trash Planet and everything's recycled,
the light source that I have on me for nighttime
is birthday candles. Like total coincidence.
They would not last very long. I kind of like
the generator one. Okay, I kind of like hooking
up the generator. Okay, so I'm gonna get the
assist from Connie, but I think I also want to
use a flashback. Yeah, all right. Okay, and then
zoom we flash back to when you were leaving this
morning on the beginning of your journey before
everything It was just halberd and tank people
were zooming around the screaming slice putting
things together There's a kid running around.
What the hell talk about that later it was just
you and halberd for that moment and Halberd was
sitting in a booth just kind of in your vicinity
and she had her juice deck out and she was pulling
cards for herself you see her like raising one
hand over her deck, just feeling the air above
them. And then she stops, she flips a card, and
she kind of nods. It's the first time we've seen
an In Universe Juice deck. They're beautiful.
Like these are sacred objects that a lot of care
and love has gone into. They are never mass produced.
They are always wrought over a long time. They
are collages. They're scrapped together. You
know, some of them laminated, some of them disintegrating
in her hands. Her juice deck is very beautiful
and it means a lot to her. And so she pulls up
this card. She says, Hey, you want me to pull
something for you for your journey? Yeah, yeah,
I've never... You never got a reading? I've never
gotten a reading. It's fucked up as much juice
as you do. I know, I used juice all the time.
Yeah, you do. Well, you know, you got the spirit.
Alright, so, let's see here. What you're doing
is offensive! Fuck you All right, sit sit sit
Okay pulls into the booth next to her bonk into
the booth. She raised her hand over the deck
Just feels the energy and she stops above a car.
She's like, hey move your hand. Okay feel that
yeah What am I what am I feeling? Feel that it's
warm. Like the air above it is actually genuinely
warm. Oh, whoa All right, that's crazy and you
flip it up and she pulls this card that very
beautiful, like hand drawn, scrapped together.
And it is the answer. It's the Ace of Fate. And
this is a card about like radiation and disintegration
and memory. And she says, okay, so that means
past and the present are meeting today. All right,
you got to be open to that. And when the moment
comes, you will know the answer. smacks you so
hard on the back you like whack into the table
or deck would you like hey you know and the scene
pulls out and you get a plus one on your roll
from halberd just a little bit of juice power
on it okay yeah how many are we up to yeah with
Connie's assist and the flashback that's a plus
two all right let's try it come on four a four
birthday boy kind of cocks its head and you're
so close that you can see now where it's melty
like that's where the nanites are loose they're
trying to hold an image together it's like damage
is corrupted you can almost see this little ball
of light inside of it which is a nanite core
like that is what's driving this thing a little
tiny ai it's kind of like nods like okay and
It has accepted you as a user. Like, you are
the kid that it is trying to guide through an
adventure to find a birthday cake. So, there
you go! So you have successfully acquired boy!
Ohhhhh! I didn't mean it quite this literally!
I meant boys as in, like, contemporary peers.
Birthday boy is offended but doesn't know why.
You have this beautiful moment, looking down
at this, like, weird, melty, silent birthday
boy. that looks at you with frightening inhuman
eyes. And then, pfft, building shakes. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Do you think you have any advantages in this
situation? It is one night pig the size of a
Jeep Wrangler that has just smashed in through
the door. It is the four of you sort of injured.
It is nighttime. I'll say it wasn't a surprise.
I don't know if that gives us plus one, but it
like removes a negative if there would have been
one. Okay. Can anyone think of any advantages
in this case? We're just like, nope, that is
what it is. Does anyone have a night pig hunter?
I didn't get that last time. All right, in that
case, give me a flat 1d6 roll. That's a two.
All right. Right off the jump. Back in it, baby.
It's Trash Planet. So the first thing that happens
is this. The nightpane, again, size of a Jeep
Wrangler, smashes through the front of this building.
You hear the building make a noise you do not
want a building to be making. So we're starting
a clock called building collapses. is a four
o 'clock that is one tick out of four right now.
And on top of this, the night pig is going to
go right for tank because you smell delicious
and this thing is coming to kill you. So unless
you resist right now, you're going to take a
level of harm. OK, well, I guess I'm going to
resist and I might be out immediately. How are
you on stress? I've got three left, so it's like
a 50 -50 shot that I'm going to hit. We haven't
used our trust yet, right? Yeah, I can share
some of that stress with you if you need it.
Amazing. Okay, so this will be a resolve. No,
sorry, a prowess resist. A prowess resist. That
would be crazy if you resisted a night pig with
your charisma. So I did get a six, but I also
got a one, so another juice burn. Wait, yeah,
you are actively under the power of juice, right?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, all right. Oh, this is
interesting. Okay. Tether. You are tethered to
something that you are physically touching at
the time of your juice use. This could be a grist
object, something physically present in the environment,
a nearby person or creature, or the spirit of
the local juice supply. The tether could be psychic,
physical, or spiritual. So it could be that this
thing fuses onto your arm, but it could also
just be like, I can't get away from this thing.
Like, I love it too much. Like, you're stuck
caring about it. But so what do you think you
are tethered to? Would it be the birthday boy?
I was gonna say there's an obvious answer here.
Yeah! All right. And so describe to me the scene
of the night pig nearly getting you and you in
this moment sort of fusing with the birthday
boy. Yeah, I think Tank, like... dives out of
the way and like rolls down a big pile of rubble
and gets entangled with the birthday boy and
then he stands up and then the birthday boy is
just like on his chest like in a little baby
bjorn amazing you have acquired boy in a more
literal sense than you could have ever dreamed
son birthday boy looks up at you head too big
can't quite see his eyes Alright, where would
you like to send the action? I will send it to
Connie We're also starting a clock called night
pig. So this bears repeating this doesn't necessarily
mean defeat night pig This could be anything
night pig. It could be escape night pig. It could
be befriend night pig It could be kill night
pig like it's up to you guys to deal with this
situation as you see fit Connie How would you
deal with this situation? How long is the clock
how many ticks total six? Okay I think Connie's
just gonna do the classic thing of pulling out
a weapon and trying to trying to kill this thing.
So we saw it charge a tank and I'm assuming it
like rammed into a piece of concrete or something
after missing tank in the birthday boy. But I'm
gonna take this moment while it's recovering
and while it doesn't have any momentum to once
again pull out a giant wrench from underneath
my robe. An unusual weapon. An unusual weapon!
Yeah, did you bring the shotgun on this trip?
I'm not telling you. Oh. Who's to say, huh? Yeah,
if I need to, maybe later. So I pull out this
giant wrench and just try to whack it like on
the jaw mouth area. Very risky maneuver, but
I just like run up to it to try and whack it.
I think I'm calling it desperate standard. And
this is probably a fight role. That sounds right.
Connie, famously our most physical contender.
I did add one to fight the last time I leveled
up, so I'm not in the negatives. That's a five.
All right. So success with complication. What's
it look like when you get this thing? And then
Maddie, can you make a pig sound about it? Naturally,
I'm happy to help. Thank you. Thank you. so yeah
i think i run up to it anime style you know the
wrench like dragging across the floor and then
i like do a big uppercut swing while it's recovering
from ramming a piece of concrete to just hit
it in the what i perceive is the weakest part
of its jaw good good all right we're gonna take
two on night pig um the complication is going
to be the another tick on building collapse unless
you want to resist that do it You're like, fuck
it, I'll let a building fall on me, who cares.
I'm very stressed, so. Building collapse is two
out of four. Oh, Jesus Christ. I don't think
we had that on our list, so I was just checking.
Okay, so Nightpig's at a three out of four, building
collapse is two. Nightpig is two out of six.
Yeah, I think when I hit it, it like tries to
ram me again and runs right into a pillar. Yes.
And like all of the structural concrete on it
just falls off. If this was a boss battle, we
would actually be trying to get it to run into
the building. Yes, and then you would be like
cleverly getting away so the building can collapse
on it. Who's to say, right? If this was like
a 2000s era, like, tie the Tasmanian tiger or
like, Jack and Dexter. Yes, yes! Oh, amazing,
formative. Connie, where would you like to send
the action? I'm gonna yell to Enla, hey, do you
have your paints or anything that you used to
draw on you? Always. Why? It might just come
in handy. I'm going to throw it to Inla. Inla's
confused by this question. We see a gleam in
Connie's eye. Ooh, what's he up to? Inla, what
are you doing? Inla's kind of confused, but pulls
out her spray paints. And there is going to be
a load, if you want to. Yeah, that would be one
of her loads, for sure. I'll call that a load
one. OK. So Inla is going to be confused by Connie's
question, but pulling out her spray paints so
that they're ready in her pockets. and we'll
try to find some higher ground to be able to
assess the situation better with this night pig
attack. So try to get to the top of one of those
trash piles so that she can kind of assess how
to maybe trap this pig. Interesting. Okay, would
you like to call that... I would accept sneak,
touch, or examine. Here, what are you looking
for? Yes, I'm trying to get more information
so that I can figure out how to... because most
rovens they try to just run away from night picks
but we're kind of trapped with it and there's
no way to get out so try to figure out how i
can potentially trap it so we can kill it okay
i'd call that an examine roll i'd call that risky
standard i'm not good at exam this will be fun
that is a four All right. So we're going to tick
one on Nightpig. You scramble up a pile of rubble.
Difficult. We're kind of in the bottom floor
of a crumbling concrete building, so it's not
the best position. What are you looking for here?
Like, you can kind of tell me you're going to
see something that is useful to you. What do
you see? I see a large piece of metal. It's kind
of hanging right now. But if it falls down, it
would lock the Nightpig into a corner of the
building so that we can at least, like, kind
of barricade it into one area. Nice. I am going
to tick one on building collapse unless you resist.
Yeah, you're high on stress, right? Yep. I don't
think I can resist that unless I can put some
stress on someone else. we used our trust already
so yeah i can't resist that okay all right we're
gonna tick we're three out of four on building
collapse oofa doofa we hear the sound of a concrete
building having a bad time is really scary like
it's not even a creek it's like you hear a crack
and you're like oh we're feeling it where would
you like to send the action i'd like to see what
Lottie is up to i do also want to know what Lottie
would do in the situation other than scream and
run but i think this is Not her first encounter
with a wild animal recently. It's been happening
a lot for some reason. She's getting a little
fed up and it's just going to hit the juice right
away. The second fade carousel. The verbs are
whirling, churning, faltering, and the grist
is magnet, crab trap, emery, CM, can opener,
and crane game. See, I like that. That's another
Milk River card. Oh, that's interesting. I wonder
if maybe Lottie scooped up some of that white
juice out in the river. Oof. Okay. So you have
a plus one on your next roll. What do you think
Lottie would do? I kind of want to put this towards
maybe resisting the building collapse a little
bit more than fighting the pig. Okay. So I'm
going to go with like the faltering verb here.
And like rubble is starting to fall, but it's
all falling in places where it like doesn't hit
someone. Like something falls like right next
to tank or it'll fall and hit the pig, but just
like pass right by Connie's shoulder or something
like that. So that's currently what's happening
right now. We're just getting, it seems like
we're getting really lucky with the falling rebel
and stuff like that. Oh, so cool. Okay. I think
what this looks like is a lot of you've recently
been stabbed. You're not doing great. You look
at this night pig, you have that moment of calculation,
like, do I go in or do I pull back? And instead
you just sort of step back and you Place your
hand up against this ragged concrete wall and
squeeze your eyes shut for one second. And you
can almost feel it under your fingers. Like you
can feel the milk river singing out in the distance.
You can feel this building that has hung on through
so many years of abuse from orbital drops and
random people digging through it. And you just
feel the space around you and you feel where
your friends are. And you're like, okay. We got
this. We're just going to hold on a little bit
longer. Building collapses is going to go back
one, or if you succeed. I don't think you actually
rolled, right? I would accept examine, find,
scrounge, or persuade. I was going to say persuade
might work for this. Persuade. Yeah. I don't
know. My best of those would actually be examine.
Like you're seeing all the angles there. I'd
take it. I would call that risky standard. Okay,
yeah, and with you the way you flavored it with
the the pillar I kind of want it to be like Lottie
kind of knows where stuff is gonna fall and stuff
like that and she's just like calling out like
Connie watch out move left and stuff like that.
Oh Okay, if this works Yeah That's a four that's
a four, but I also see a one Okay, all right,
so that beautiful moment happens where you are
smooth and in tune I'm gonna say that your juice
burn. So the outcome of this is you're gonna
take another level of harm just from the juice
burn. I think that it's going to fizzle in your
recent wound and you're going to feel it kind
of like cracking and caking over. We've said
that juice burns look like spray paint like splashed
on the skin. Like that is sort of happening to
you in this moment and it hurts. And you're just
going to have another level one harm called like
ragged wound or something. Like your stab wound
is not going to be happy unless you resist. Um,
so this is not your juice burns yet. Your juice
burns, uh, coming baby. Let's go. I did resist
that one, I think. Okay, so if you've got arc
flash, uncontrollably discharging electricity,
and you've got... This is great. Hungry, you
must keep eating objects from your cars. This
has become part of you now. So this is number
one, you're rolling for hungry. A one. A zero
out of one, yeah. And five arc flash. Okay. Incredible.
All right. So you're, are you rolling to resist
the wound problem? Okay. So that would be a resolve
roll. Six. Six. Amazing. Okay. And so as Lottie
does this cool move, just gently touching the
building, feeling the world around her. You just
kind of. like burp a little bit and you just
burp out electricity. Uh -oh. Amazing. Great
job. Ladi, where would you like to send the action?
As Ladi's like doing that thing where she's got
her hand to the pillar and stuff, she calls out
to Tank and says, hey, watch out. A piece of
rubble falls near him and he dodges it. And I
want to see what Tank's up to. I think Tank.
So he had the experience before where he had,
you know, the nanite infusion. I think he's going
to try to tap in to that feeling and connect
with the birthday boy. Wait, say more. Like that
same sort of feeling like because right now there's
no way for the birthday boy to really communicate
or us to really communicate with the birthday
boy outside of like vague things. gonna try to
tap into the nanites that are still in my body
to like create a mind to mind connection for
lack of All right, so the birthday boy is nanites.
And so there's two ways you can communicate with
him that you would need some kind of L jack.
So that could be an internal implant or it could
be the extra like what you were wearing as a
kid with the backpack, you know, so that wasn't
like in your body at that point. But you could
also try to communicate with the birthday boy
via juice. That that's another just keep hitting
it. I don't know. Yeah, I guess I do have the
tether. He's already struggling with gravity
and being delicious to monsters. Up to you, like
how would, cause this is a very cool idea, but
also I think saying that Tank has an L jack is
so huge. Like that would, like I can't just give
that to you for free. You know? Yeah. So Tank
is gonna, he's gonna try to connect to the birthday
boy using juice. I think he's gonna use the tether
and try to like use the birthday boy as like
two more arms. You people are animals. I love
it. I support it. I'm here for it. Are you still
hitting? Okay, so it makes sense to me. You would
have access either to the Fade cards specifically
through that Milk River stuff, or you would probably
have some regular juice, which is the whole deck.
Which one do you think you would hit? Probably
the Fade ones. Okay. Oh, I got the Ace of Fade,
the answer. Verbs are frightening, revealing,
confounding, and the grist is shot silk, microphone,
shiplap, and lithium. Okay. A, it writes itself.
That's the card Halbert pulled for you earlier.
Hell yeah. No way. Yes. No. Oh, amazing. Okay.
So what do you want to roll to communicate with
the birthday boy? I would accept stuff in resolve
makes sense to me, but I would also accept insight,
like some kind of examine or find. You can make
an argument. I want to use resolve, but I can't
think of a good reason. maybe care right yeah
this is your care for the birthday boy like yeah
yeah it's an emotional connection birthday boy
i know we haven't seen each other in quite some
time tank has his eyes closed like he's making
a birthday wish but i just want to ask you for
your help against this giant fucking pig will
you help me In the background, we see Connie
just being flung like, whoa! Yes! All right,
you're going to roll care. You're going to add
one for your juice. That's a six. Yeah! Boom,
boom, boom. All right, so the thing that happens,
it's a bad thing and it's a good thing because
the bad thing is the birthday boy's man of nanites
and he clearly goes through some process like,
oh, Tank can't see me right now and just sort
of swivels his head the wrong way. So like the
papoose on your chest, something's like, his
head like just totally scoots around to look
at you and just sort of. You're locked in, baby!
Locked in! You get the birthday boy on board.
What do you want to do with your incredible birthday
synergy? Do I get a second? You don't get one
in this turn, but what's the visual we see when
you are locked in? Pacific Rim style. Yeah, I
think it is very Pacific Rim like, uh, what is
it? Whatever it's called. Drift compatibility.
Drift compatibility. Yes. Yes. We are totally
drift compatible and we're like moving in tandem
like the three armed, uh, giant robot. Amazing.
This one's got four arms. Whoa! Also, some of
the Nanites travel to your head and make a little
birthday hat. Oh my god! Whoa! I'm like birthday
boy Super Saiyan mode. You guys are wearing matching
party hats and you're like, yeah! I love the
visual of Tank having this like deep moment with
their birthday boy and like all of us are just
trying to fight this night pig in the back. Like
Connie being thrown and Liv shouting shit. All
right. We see Connie being air juggled by a night
pig. It's like devil may cry combo like 39, 40,
40, 41, 42. Bow bow bow. Yeah, anyway. Connie.
I'm sending it to you. Okay I managed to break
the combo by like grabbing a metal cable or something
that's hanging from one of the uh the the tresses
and while I'm up there I cocked my head a little
bit because Tank didn't have a party hat when
he came in here and just for clarity the birthday
boy is like physically tied to you right now
right like the nanites are like in you on you
like yeah like baby bjorn style The birthday
boy just like nanited up a baby bjorn and is
not taking it off. Yeah, it's legit a baby bjorn.
It's not like he's fused. It's also branded.
Everything the birthday boy does is like, you
know, primo advertising. So while I'm hanging
up there, I'm going to say, all right, everyone,
I think I know how to deal with this thing. Tank,
if you can get a little bit higher and let use
those spray paints and spray a slice of cake
on the night pig. Tank, cover yourself. This
is going to be bad. Oh, this is awesome. How
are we on rec? Because I feel like this is a
rec roll. So you're intending to deploy birthday
boy destruction against the night pig because
it has a birthday cake on it? Yes, I want the
birthday boy to charge through the night pig
because there's a cake on it. Amazing. Okay,
okay. I am super heavy right now. You are super
heavy right now! That's why I said get up high,
yeah. You can lend your turn assisting, I don't
know, I feel like... It feels like it has to
be Tank's role, but it feels like you get a plus
one from you for the paint, plus one from Enla
from the paint, plus one from you for the plan,
and then Wreck on you, and what else? You have
a lot of juice going on. I have a lot of juice,
yeah. Okay! I was gonna say, we could do the
thing of you could roll to see how well you paint
the thing. That could determine the plus one.
Okay, okay. Very fair. Okay, Enla, hit it. All
right, so that would be touch, I assume? Yes.
Touch, sneak. I think a couple things would work.
You're trying to paint a thing on a moving watermelon
wall. I got a six. I painted that birthday cake
so realistic on the side of that page This is
you know, you've mentioned that you're not great
at drawing for whatever reason you're like birthday
cake. Yeah, sure It's like in perfect perspective.
It looks like a crisp clean little like oh, it's
great on a moving pig in the middle of a fight
It somehow has a strawberry topping it you've
never seen a strawberry before Enla works well
under pressure. It's just like a spray in, like,
CSGO. It's just like, tss. It comes out. It's
a polypore. Like, perfect cake. Amazing. Incredible.
We're going to call that a plus one from Enla.
Who's next? Is that the plus one from you because
you have this idea? Yeah, I think so. This is
definitely an assist. Yes. Okay. All right. That's
a plus one and then wreck plus two from your
two buddies plus juice is plus three. Yeah, you
can only have plus one from the juice. Yeah,
I think so. I am using my last charge of foresight.
So I'm not taking any stress for this assist.
Hell yeah. Just to clarify for me, am I taking
the stress for assisting or? No, I think you
take the The plus one stress for assisting. Okay,
I have one stress left. Oh, so are you out? Not
yet. I have one stress space left. So, sorry,
I won't be able to assist very well. No, I love
it. Okay. All right, we got the plus three on
your rec roll. Okay. Anything else we can think
of? I'm also surprisingly bad at rec. That's
crazy. Yeah. Okay, sure. That feels wrong. Yeah.
All right. What's the, is this a? This is desperate
standard. Desperate standard. I've never seen
a more desperate action than trying to run full
force into a pig. Yeah, but you're using the
birthday boy speed. I'm doing like, from the
top rope, like. So the picture is the birthday
boy on his little manite legs just like carrying
you on the birthday boy's back. The birthday
boys like kind of spun around to my back and
then like lifts me up like a very iconic moment
on the challenge where CT backpacks Johnny Bananas
and drags him to the end. We're all relating
to you, Devon. Yes, yes. Yes, this moment that
everyone knows. We all know. We can picture it
clearly. The birthday boy is just like running
with me on his back. Incredible. You just have
a fist out. Alright, roll. Do it. That's a five.
That's a five. Incredible. And so, tell me. So,
Tank got to the high ground, the birthday boy
flips him and he starts running and does just
like a big like... Belly smacker? Right on top
of the night pig. Good hit. Strong hit. Demonic
pig screech. You see his eyes flashing in the
darkness. Two clicks on that. Brings it up to
five out of six, does it not? That's correct.
Alright, nearly dead. Incredible. The birthday
boy didn't have enough of a runway, you know?
Like, he's feeling it. It's your birthday, for
sure. Night pig just barely hanging on. Jaws
snapping in the night. Where would you like to
send the action? Another big hit. You hear that?
Snap a sound like, whoa. Building collapse, another
one. So we're back up to metaphor. I'm going
to send it to Enla. Enla is going to take a deep
breath, but she's going to pull out her trusty
knives. And she's gonna go for the kill. Going
in for the kill. I guess it would be wreck, but
I'm not good at wrecks. I would take fight, yeah.
I'm not good at fight either. Give me a fight,
baby. My prowess is terrible. I mean, to be fair,
all of her victims are trapped. I make up for
my lack of skills by trapping my victims. I trapped
the snipe pig. I make it work. That is a oar.
A four. And, LaBaby, you know what it is. You
know what it is. You know you're gonna kill this
pig, and the building's gonna collapse. Shit.
I can't resist this without getting traumatized.
Is that what we want? I mean, you can't. If you
roll a six, you're not traumatized. That's true.
There's a tiny chance. There's a chance. Are
you gonna resist? I'd like to resist. Oh, buddy!
The building collapse specifically. Okay, prowess
resists. Okay. It could happen, you know, dice
are random, like anything could happen. Ladies
and gentlemen, I am on the verge of being traumatized.
That is a five. Oh, the exact wrong one. Inla
is officially traumatized and is no longer in
the battle. Oh my God. Wait, okay, so what does
it look like? You're gonna kill the night pig,
you're gonna have a great moment there, and then
you're gonna immediately pass out. So how does
that happen? So I think Inla is going to perfectly
execute this night pig, and then there's going
to be a fall of the rubble from the collapse
that bonks her on the head. Right where she got
her concussion previously, so she kind of falls
over. We concussed. So how it goes is, it's like
the world is in slow motion around you. You see
exactly where you're supposed to stand, and you
move there, and then you just move your knife
up to the throat. big Glasgow grin on this thing,
night pig screams, blood squirting everywhere,
painting your face, you look up and you kind
of, like, you kind of smile, you're like, whoa,
okay, and the building does not collapse, but
what does collapse is one little tiny chip, it's
like the size of a fist, it just goes bonk, and
you're just out, just bonk, and you collapse
kind of with this night pig on top of you, just...
and covered in blood covered in blood covered
in oily black blood great job you guys how are
we all doing on our various health and stress
sound off i have no harm and three ticks left
on my stress so i'm okay i'll make it easy same
exact for me incredible except for my existing
harm also three stress i should have more but
i got that six You're just a naturally chill
person. I don't know. And I have been officially
traumatized, which means I don't have any stress
anymore, but it means I'm traumatized. Oh, buddy.
Okay. What do we see in the immediate moments
afterwards? There's like a moment of respite
of just like everything was moving and suddenly
everything's not moving. And I don't think I've
even noticed that Emma's passed out yet. We,
I can't believe that worked. That was, that was.
A little frightening, but really cool. Birthday
boy gives you a big thumbs up. Yeah. Tank, what's
going on with you there? Oh, yeah. I rolled down
the hill and I fused with the birthday boy. Like
what? As one does. Yeah, I think it's juice related.
I wouldn't expect anything else out of you, Tank.
I guess that's fair. We have to talk about this.
You people hitting the juice at the first sign
of trouble. We have to do better than that. We'll
talk about that later. Maybe you're the one who
has to do better. It's useful stuff, Connie.
It's come in handy so many times. Lottie, what
are you eating right now? Rubble. It's like a
bowl of cereal, but it's just rubble. She's specifically
picking out the parts that look like they would
be soft enough or crumbly enough for her to eat.
Incredible. The Lucky Charms marshmallows of
Rubble. It's all concrete, yeah. I can't eat
Lucky Charms marshmallows anymore. They're like,
make my skin crawl. At this point, we probably
notice that Edla is passed out. I think I'm going
to rush to her and say, we can't get back to
our stuff just yet. We might run into more night
pigs. We have to take shelter somewhere around
here. And was in a perfect family guy dead pose.
Exes over the eyes. Yeah, yeah. I don't know.
Should we like her family is like somewhere out
here, right? The Rovens. Can we just like find
one of them? Don't we like, I don't know, shine
a light in the sky and they come from anywhere.
I don't know how that works. I don't know how
signaling them works. Oh, man. Hey, I think they
have calls or whistles or something like verbal
hands. Yeah, I think you're right. They do have
whistle calls, but I, I don't know how to whistle.
I'm like patting down and let us see if there's
like a physical whistle and blow. You spend a
load. Can I spend one of it? What are your friends
for? I pull something out of her pocket. It's
like a little box with glass and it says break
glass in case of emergency. Little tiny hammer.
It's like a slide whistle. No! This was for wacky
situations! No! I think the camera pans out on
the rubble of this building. You spend a long
sleepless night. We see some lights inside. You've
set up a pretty shitty little camp around the
corpse of a dead night pig and your good buddy
Enla. And then on the roof of this place is Tank
with a birthday boy Bjorn on, just sort of tooting
random blasts of sound into the wake. I think
this probably constitutes a flashback. Oh, okay,
fair. So I want a flashback to Enla giving me
the rundown on this whistle. Okay so tank if
anything ever happens to me because you know
in the heat of things that we get into it seems
that there's there's going to be a chance I might
go down and I need you to know that there's an
emergency way to communicate with the rovens
in my pockets. Okay yeah cool is this like an
ancient tradition? I mean it's just a way to
communicate with my people okay yeah does that
like make me like an honorary roving sure and
we shoot back out and you recall this moment
he's like in the center of the frame but he's
very small playing this music. And you have a
baby Bjorn. And I have a baby Bjorn of the birthday
boy who is also doing the whistle. Yeah, he's
playing a nanite flute silently. Still has no
speaker. You are hanging out out there. This
takes some time. This takes some like hitting
it every 15 minutes or so. And then finally you
hear a whistle back and you're like, well, you
do see over time something, a very strange shape
moving towards you. Very strange shape on the
horizon. Big chunky Not quite sure what you're
looking at. It is advancing at walking pace.
Like, it is taking so long, and so you have a
good long time. I think it's just most of the
night where you are just chilling and watching
the shape get a little bit closer. Over time,
it comes into focus a little bit more. The sun
is dawning over the horizon. Big, beautiful green
sky. Good morning, trash planets. And we see
a big, crazy patchwork sail. It's scooting towards
you slowly. And beneath it, we see a big structure
that is just sort of a bunch of shit heaped up
underneath it. This is a roving sledge. You're
listening to a hypergallant production. If you
like what you heard, leave us a rate and review.
check out our website at hypergallant .com. Thank
you to The Drin, The Serts, Crime is Passing,
Perverts Again, and our own Rabbit Sullivan for
the use of their music. Thank you to Morgan Davy,
Malcolm Craig, and Gregor Hutton for the use
of their game, Ace Date. You know, we got it
here on trash planet. Yeah, I'm on Jamaica