Trash Planet contains themes of desperation and
poverty. We portray a comedic, absurd and violent
world. For a full list of content warnings, please
see the episode description. To the twisty wilds
of Trash Planet. It's way before sunrise. We
hear the wind blowing. We see that glitter still
passing through. Just a little glimpse in the
wind. We see Petra coming out of her tent. She's
rolling her shoulders out. She's wearing her
mask. It's one of those ear flap hats like the
Alaskan fur hats with the mask built in. And
she's shivering and she's, you know, stretching
out. She's waking up. She's cold, so she goes
back in her tent and comes back wrapped in one
of those, like, metallic space blankets that
warms you up real fast. She's yawnin'. She's
moving quietly. She's trying not to wake anybody
up. We see all of your tents, like, gently rustling
in the wind. So she hauls open the trapdoor,
steps down the ladder, heads into the screaming
slice. And when she reaches the kitchen, the
first thing she does is reaches under the counter
and pulls out this armful of wires and knobs
and antennas. She's fiddling around, unspooling
shit, she's clicking stuff together, and she
twists a dial and her hacked up little radio
project comes to life. And finally, a big old
congratulations to Marv and Bardi Walkenblitz
in Bogtown South, who have finally done us all
a big favor and gotten divorced. I, for one,
am excited to hear who gets to keep the last
name. I like Walkenblitz a whole lot. If one
of you don't keep it, I will. Don't touch that
dial, I got 40 minutes of fuzzy -ass guitars
coming up. This has been Manja Mike Walkin' Blitz.
Maybe. We'll see. Science ya, sweetheart. And
we see Petra bustlin' around, dumpin' gunpowder
into the cobalt mixer, pullin' out a block of
algae. The sun's risin', glitters in the wind.
It is another day. We see Lottie wakin' up in
her tent, groaning in pain. It is the morning
after your mission to intimidate Jim Bob Marscapone.
How are you doing? Lottie's not doing great.
She has just a bunch of makeshift padding like
strapped to her to her shoulder where she got
stabbed. So just a big bulky sort of bandage
padding thing, keeping it together. Yeah. What
are you up to today? I mean, it's the early morning.
Normally you'd be doing gardening stuff, checking
in, going to see your clients. But normally,
yeah. I think the first thing Lottie needs to
do is just focus on healing up a little bit.
She got hurt bad and she's really stressed out
from that mission. So yeah. Okay. Um, are you
going to focus on healing or what do you want
to do? I need to recover stress first. So instead
of doing her usual morning rounds of, you know,
like making deliveries and stuff like that, Lottie's
going to just focus on something that she can
do like seated in her greenhouse and try to recover
stress that way. Just kind of working in her
greenhouse and building up supplies so that She
can do a double delivery the next day or something
like that. Okay, yeah. So we see you in your
greenhouse just gardening, moving stuff around,
moving real slow and real stiff. Definitely sampling
her own merchandise for pain relief. Okay, you've
got some crazy plant that you save for special
occasions like this. What is it? It's like a
sugar cane, like you can chew on it like one,
but it just kind of has like a General numbing
effect. Yes, like the whole side of your face
is just totally numb And it goes far like it
works on your shoulder. Oh my god That's like
so dangerous medically, but that's fun Okay,
are you doing a so you could clear two Automatically
and just call it there or you could roll to try
to clear more stress. I'm gonna roll for it.
Okay Three three. Okay, so you get to take off
three stress I'm still pretty stressed, but I
could do something now. I think that your numbing
cane, whatever it is, it even affects your like
your inner ear. And so you start having like
kind of a vertigo sensation. And so you're just
like leaning over and you're just like, okay,
okay. Amazing. This has been Lottie's first downtime
action. Um, last time Lottie's agenda was to
get credentials for a higher status life. Do
you want to leave it there or do you want to
set a new agenda in this downtime? i think that
one still makes sense for what we're doing okay
just the last mission wasn't really one that
was good for that yeah okay so you're in your
greenhouse you're looking at your meager belongings
and you're thinking it could be better a lot
of this stuff could be better you could be safer
right now okay who would like to go next I would
like to roll and then narrate because we have
an ongoing problem with shrill sounds that are
keeping everyone up or, you know, otherwise ruining
our days. I think after the last mission, I still
had a lot of adrenaline even after coming back.
So I think Connie stayed up to investigate and
try to solve whatever that problem was. Sick.
Okay. Well, I should say real quick. In terms
of backing faction requests, this is kind of
one for you, Connie. Halbert is still out of
town, and so when you get... We kind of briefly
cut back to you stumbling back into the Screamin'
Slice after this disastrous mission, and we see
Janouche just, like, surrounded by bullshit.
Like, nothing is done. Like, he is just, like,
fighting for his life. He's just like, Connie...
Connie looks at you with panic in his eyes Like
this is the faction request is like one of your
downtime actions needs to be just helping the
screaming slice You could ignore it. There would
be consequences You could purchase another downtime
action with coin and you can scrape coin if you
don't have any coin But yeah, so just so you
know that is yeah in the in play. Well, could
I ask? Treasurer how much coin do we have? We
have one coin Yeah, we didn't make any money
off that Anyway I'll keep that in mind. Firstly,
I do immediately start helping Yanouche with
heavy bags under my eyes, but I owe it to this
place. Yeah, I think you smell crazy. You're
like scraped up and Yanouche is like, thank God,
if you wanted to handle some food, just sort
of. raw food that, you know, we don't wash our
hands here too much and sort of touch that a
lot. I know you just came out of a sewer. I'm
not an animal. I can wash myself off a little
bit. Fair. Anyway, I would like to try to solve
this one, this real sound, though. All right.
So this is a community project. Yeah, it's a
community project. We have zero four. ticks yes
yes i think examine is the play keep in mind
if i roll really well it will complete this in
one action so i hope you have that in your gm
brain i do yeah granted it'd be very hard to
but all right here we go trying to examine and
figure out this shrill sound that's a four hell
yeah two segments down okay so how would connie
approach this you know that there is a shrill
sound causing pain in the area where would you
go first Well, I think, again, after the last
mission, I would stay up, because it was coming
around at night. And then, like, it would be
the thing of, like, as soon as the sound happens,
I, like, rush towards wherever I think the origin
is. After that, I don't know, because I don't
know what the origin is. Yeah. Okay, so in game
time, I think this is kind of a little bit back
in time. This is you and Janouche mopping up
for the night. I think even Petra is downstairs
because, like, she lives here, she works here.
Normally she doesn't like to work a night shift,
but clearly shit's falling apart, so she's helping
out. And so this, like, insane shrill piercing,
you know, all of you double over for a second.
It's been getting worse. Like, you're like, what
the fuck? And Petra just says quietly into her
mask, like, it's so irresponsible. I mean, it's
like, like, there's a reason that we don't do
ultra wave in the hobby community because it's...
It's like harmful if you fuck it up. Ultra wave?
Yeah. Yeah, this is ultra wave, you know? Like,
if you notice, like, if you put in earplugs,
it doesn't help. Because it's not... It's not
on regular frequencies. It's not really a sound.
Like, it's hitting you part of your brain. Oh,
so it's making my entire skull vibrate instead
of just my ears? Yeah. Yeah, like I said, fuck
these people, right? Yes. We gotta do more than
just complain about it, though. I need to find
these people. Okay, but like, I know you're like
really intense about... you know things being
like immoral and shit and like religion and all
that but i don't know i i just don't want you
to go beat these ass like this is clearly just
some radio jackass right like i wasn't gonna
get violent with them i just need them to stop
it's it's ruining our community okay okay i mean
i have some equipment you can use if you want
to And you remember that this whole time, whenever
we talked about Petra, she's always doing something
with radios. So this is her specialty. So I think
after you guys wrap up the chores for the night,
you're tired, she's tired, you roll into her
tent, you see that it is absolutely jam -packed
with just gear, loose bits and pieces. And so
she starts just shuffling through, kicking stuff
around. She unspools this crazy antenna thing
that, like, chung -chung -chung -chung, like
all of it fits together. She's like, yeah, I'm...
Don't know. I tried walking around with this
for a while, but I don't think it's I don't think
it's on the ground I think it's underground.
So I kind of gave up. Okay. Well, hopefully I'll
have better luck I'll try to find these people
give me an image of so it's Connie with your
big insane antenna walking around late at night
What are you thinking about? What are you doing?
What are we seeing in this moment? I think it's
very quiet And so whenever the the ultrawave
sound, like, pierces through everything, it's
even more jarring. That said, I'm trying to use
the technology I have and my own knowledge to
try and find this place. So luckily, there's
no one around to see this, but when when the
ultrawave noise hits, I, with my mouth, try to
replicate that exact frequency, because I'm like,
maybe that'll help me find it. It's an insane
looking thing that's happening, but I think,
like, I genuinely think it's helping. um no one's
listening there's no podcast going if you wanted
to give me maybe for instance connie making a
shrill sound uh i think like as soon as it goes
off there's a moment like a wince when he has
to cover his ears even though that doesn't help
and then he just starts going Like trying to
match the exact frequency. Counteract it with
the sound. Gets out his tuning fork. Oh my god.
Literally using his vibrating head as a tuning
fork and trying to match that sound. And it's
even worse because, you know, there's pain associated
with the sound. Imagine trying to sing in perfect
pitch while someone's beating you on the head
with a hammer. So the scene is Connie, like,
I'm picturing it's like an RC car controller
out in front of you going like. And like a couple
of Fox fingers are eating some trash on the ground
and they just like to look up and like their
heads follow you as you're walking around This
has been Connie's sleepless night who would like
to go next I think I think tank is back in in
his room and I guess Equivalent of like a studio
apartment, but small whatever that is on trash
planet he's kind of stewing on one they just
kind of like abandoned a guy and he died but
also like why did shahadi send me after this
guy you know he he lays down in his bed and as
he sits down he feels like something in his back
sophie short pocket haven't we said you have
three inch long shorts? yes yes but that's that's
inseam they're not like three inch shorts would
be like if you were like just measuring the raw
fabric it's the inseam that's how shorts work
if you didn't know so they are they are bigger
than three inches but He feels something in his
pocket. Yes, Jim Bob slipped you something. Yeah.
All right. So in this moment of stillness, I
imagine you're you live in the Fresco fuzz training
facilities. So there's like people like running
above you, you know, like you can you're just
like. in this moment. Yeah, you know, it's tick
-ball baby. We're all in a lot of uppers. We're
doing a lot of shit. 24 -7. Yes, the lifestyle.
You pull out what is in your pocket, which is
a mini disc. It is a little, tiny, old -fashioned
mini disc. It's maybe three inches. It's in a
paper sleeve, looks crumpley, looks a little
bit beat up. You hold it up in the light and
it's not scratched, looks fine. And printed on
the envelope, you see a logo. It's beautifully
designed. It says APRNE. And I would love it
if you would give me, like, this system doesn't
really have a knowledge roll, but in your estimation,
how knowledgeable do you think Tank is about
Helica, about this area, stuff in this area?
I would say he is knowledgeable about it, but
in a way that he obviously learned this information
from people who didn't live here, right? Like
an outside observer's... Like an academic? Yeah,
like an academic, uh, like textbook type. All
right. You know what? Give me a fortune roll
and you can take a plus one. So it's going to
be advantage. Uh, two D sixes. Uh, four. Four.
Okay. This old logo just pings something in the
back of your brain. A -P -R -N -E. Arcellos Petrochemical
Research Northern Extension. Quick, memorable,
catchy. We all know it. And just the logo pings
something in your memory. Like... Okay, this
was an old science thing? Like, I don't know,
you can't quite put it together, but this disc
looks pretty new. Okay, this seems important.
And then he's gonna open up his pillowcase and
he's gonna tuck it underneath his pillow. We
see a couple other really important objects in
Tank's pillowcase. What are these objects? A
little action figure, like a G .I. Joe, but like,
small. He also has a tickball card of, like,
an old player. Kind of like a... Is it like a
Babe Ruth card? Yeah, yeah, like a Babe Ruth,
like, early, early tickball, like... It's...
As you're sticking your mini -disc in there,
you pull out the card for a second, and it's
Pony Loewen, the captain of the Fresco Fuzz.
When it was first created back in the day, probably,
man, probably over 50 years ago, and... He was
kicking ass like I don't know you you look down
at this card and you just feel that warmth in
your heart and you're like Yeah Yeah What does
this guy look like? Um, wait, hold on. Is this
coach? This is coach pony. Yep Okay in his heyday
Okay, because I don't think we've ever met coach
pony on camera. Have we no no, no, okay So yeah,
we can okay, but yeah, so this guy he he looks
sick He's absolutely shredded like steroids to
the gills. It was back before they really figured
out performance enhancing drugs for the sport.
So, uh, he's got like that, you know, eighties
bodybuilder physique, a long, uh, blonde mullet.
Yeah. And he has his big horsey smile. Um, cause
he's got a huge gap tooth and like, yeah, and
he's just smiling up at you and you're like,
yeah stick it back in your pillowcase nice what
would you like to do with your downtime action
i think tank's gonna wake up early and hit the
gym okay and and try to like de -stress so wakes
up he's gonna go down to the the weight room
at the practice facility and it's gonna be like
a cool montage It's like Edgar Wright editing.
It's just like slam, slam, crash, you know, like
weights slamming into the ground, muscle, guitar
riff, incredible. Guys just like doing bodybuilder
poses and high -fiving. Nice, nice. They're freeze
-framing in midair, which is crazy That's a juice
burn actually So while you're in the gym you
are chilling you're minding your own business
you're doing your thing you're getting your grind
on and you hear Dude, dude, did you hear when
you look over and you see chops your old buddy
from episode one? He's the guy who is very wide
from the front, but he turns to the side and
he's thin like paper He's like, bro, bro, you
missed it. Where were you? There was like a team
meeting and shit. We're trying out new goalies
What? Yeah, shahadi fucking quit dude. He's like
out of here We could get on the team like like
I don't know They're holding like special like
obviously they have the you know fucking whoever
is like sitting in for him for the next game
But they're looking for to fill the position
permanently and like we could go for it, dude
Like this is it that that's incredible, but you
said shahadi quit. Yeah, he quit looking loser
Do you know I spit on him? He quit my favorite
team, the Fresco Fuzz. I know, an act most shameful.
But like, does anyone know where he went? I don't
know, dude. He always kind of wigged me out.
Yeah, he was always kind of brooding. Yeah. Yeah,
it's not great for team morale. One time he dapped
me on the arm and I rippled like a sheet of paper
and it frightened me. Hey man, like, I think
you should really get that juice burn checked
out. I think it's good. I think it's actually
good. I know you kind of made your whole identity
being like really wide and thin, but I don't
think you should be rippling. I don't know what
you're talking about. Turns to the side, completely
vanishes. Amazing. Uh, you try to find him some
nice two -dimensional weights, you know, finish
up. Yeah, anyway, yeah. So, are you trying to
clear stress with your action? Uh, yeah, I'm
trying to clear stress, but, like, the fact that
Shihadi is gone is, like, really setting off
alarm bells in my head. But Tank's gonna push
through. Now the montage is, like, kind of dark,
and it's, like, 80s Jalo lighting, where it's,
like, whoa! Like, oh, the red light! Oh, the
bright green light! Like, it's very scary, yeah.
Cut to Tank. in the shower is just like a hand
on the wall just letting the the sad boy shower
the only place in trash planet where you can
reliably get a shower it is really funny to be
spending your like this most unbelievable resource
of clean water and a shower and you're just kind
of in there like oh my career it's for cinema
amazing The sports team getting all the resources
to have useless things like that, that's too
real. Alright, would you like to just take two
off the dome for free, or would you like to roll
and try to clear more? I'm gonna roll for it.
Cool, cool. That's four. I'm down to four stress.
Oh no, okay. That's fine. I mean, that's less
than half. Normal. Normal and good. I'm still
at five. Buddy. And you got how many injuries
at this one? Okay. Just one. That's good. Anything
else from Tank in this? Well, like you can talk
to Chops more if you want, but like, I don't
know. Anything else you want to cover in this
moment? I mean, he didn't seem like he knew much
about Shahadi. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe Tank
would go talk to someone who's actually on the
team and see if they know anything. Okay, what
does shahadi's locker look like like does it
seem like like a thought -out exit or a yeah
Oh interesting like is it like did someone hastily
like? Right out or did he leave it exactly? Okay,
I think oh, this is fun. So after your shower,
you're like toweled off Go in the locker room.
Yeah. Sorry. I just had a mental image of chops
like squeezing his own arm like just ringing
out a towel This is really throwing me. Okay.
Uh, yeah, so you head into the locker room I
think that there's like this shit idiot lockers
and then there's the cool guy lockers for the
real players, you know and so you kind of have
to like What is your mood? Are you coming in
high or are you coming in low as you try to walk
into the cool guy part of the locker room? You
know, what do you mean by like status? Like are
you trying to be like yeah, what's up, you know,
or are you trying to like? Yeah, don't look at
me sneak on in there. Yeah, probably more sneaky
like I don't think it would be out of ordinary
for, like, practice squad people to, like, come
in and out of the locker room, but it also isn't
the most inconspicuous thing. That's so normal!
Yeah. Fair, yeah. All right, so you wander on
through, you see that everything about their
stuff is better than yours. It's all just bigger,
nicer, newer. And you see that Shahadi's locker
is just empty, you know, completely empty. And
a lot of the other players keep theirs open,
like nobody's going to steal from them, like
they're rock stars, you know? Yeah. So everything
he has is just completely gone. So it could be
that someone cleaned it out or it could be that
he cleaned it out. He's really gone. Oh. We have
a montage of all your favorite Shahadi moments.
All like one of them, yeah. All of them end with
a very hard slap on the back. Well, like Arms
of an Angel plays in the background. Also, I
want to say, this is me as a GM. This is your
award for the mission. It's like you are going
to have a shot on the team, like because, you
know, that was explicitly what was promised.
OK, so there you go. Any hoodle. And Enla, it
is all you, baby. What do you want to do? Enla's
pretty stressed out, so she is concocting her
next art installation. And having the run -in
with Johnny Law makes her feel a little bit of
the power dynamic and status against the Rovens
and Johnny Law. They don't like each other. The
Rovens do whatever they can to survive, but Johnny
Law often will come in and try to wrangle, and
they're not into that in any way. They don't
like being policed. And so this run -in is kind
of like reigniting some of those feelings of
anger. So, Enla is going to work on a project
where she's going to create an interactive exhibit
where she will trap people naturally. People
are stuck in a room with a person just like constantly
yelling at them. Yelling nondescript mean things
at them until like they start to freak out and
you're like, but don't you feel safe? And then
she'll finally let them out. But yeah, that's
the general plan. We cut to... I'm wrapping my
head around it. I know, I'm so sorry. No, it's
beautiful. What kind of structure do you think
you're trapping people in? I really love the
escape through sewer system, so I'm going to
create some sort of drop -in system, but have
a little bit of a pad at the bottom so no one
gets hurt, right? Yeah, something you've totally
thought about before, safety of your victims.
Listen. It's a little too high to drop somebody
down into a sewer system. So they fall into the
pad and then immediately like the sewer grate
closes back and then all of a sudden speakers
start up with just like multiple voices and Liz
of course included but I think also like she
would recruit the rest of the team to help her
with this particular project. We smash cut to
us trying to record whatever it is you want so
you're explaining to our characters what you
want them to say Okay, okay guys. I need you
to just like be mean. Okay. I need you to like
Okay, so so can I hear like an example of like
what it sounds like when you're like being mean
to somebody tank? Yeah Your parents never loved
you. Oh my god. That's perfect. That's absolutely
perfect. I need a little bit more volume on it,
though Your parents never loved you. Oh my god,
that's perfect. Oh my god. Okay, Lottie. How
are you feeling? Are you in this with me? Lottie
has been stabbed so recently. You go to your
stabbed friend and be like, hi, I need help with
my art project, which is beautiful. I just misunderstood
the question. She's probably still swaying a
little bit. She's like, I could try. You could
just say mean things to Goliath if you'd like.
I can never say mean things to Goliath. The gunk
snake, I pull him out and put him back in my
pocket. What about one of those customers that
never pays you? See, I usually just haggle with
them to get them in deeper shit rather than yelling
at them, but... It's okay, you can just say,
you're poor! Oh, that's perfect! Everybody here
is poor! I love it. Do you have any other suggestions,
Connie? Do you have any other things that you
would yell at somebody in the street? In the
street? I guess. Or a random person you don't
know. But cut deep. I need you to get personal.
You're a disgrace and you'll never find a sense
of belonging. Oh, wow. That was dark. Okay. Alright.
You've abused everything that we've given you.
You don't deserve a single thing to your name.
You don't even deserve your name. You deserve
no rights. I'm sorry, I can't do this. Connie,
are you okay? Connie! I'll go check on him. Good
job, Luddy. Luddy walks away. I think this got
real personal real quick for him. This is booming
over the speaker. The strangers that you kidnapped,
yeah. Sorry, we cut back to Lottie and Connie,
right? Wait, so, Enla, like, we're supposed to
be like ghosts, right? I mean, if that helps
you. Like, this is, like, spooky. The idea is
to, like, barrage people with negative comments,
right? And then... Yeah, but, like, as ghosts.
Tank doesn't understand part of it. All right,
we cut over to Lottie and Connie. Connie, what
was that? Are you doing all right? Yes, I'm just,
I'm stressed and the whole barraging people with
insults thing, I guess that's not, that's not
me. No, of course not. We're just trying to help
Enla. That's you. Yes. Yes. It's this. I would
never tell Enla this, but this particular project
I feel would work perfectly on someone like me.
So just even picturing it in my head, I don't
know, it triggered some past trauma. Where are
we right now? Where did you run off to? I probably
ran off to the roof, to my little tent. Yeah,
cool. All right, it's still probably late at
night at this point, or it could be the next
day, whatever. So I don't know, maybe sunset.
cinematic. So sun's coming down. You're just
sitting on the roof. You see Petra's crazy like
antenna kind of in the wind. Right. First of
all, I understand your concern and I won't know.
Look, honey, I, I don't know everything you've
been through. It's clearly a lot. And I felt
like that got a little personal over there. Again,
I'm not going to press. It seems like we've all
been through a lot and we don't, we're not all
ready to talk about it necessarily, but I'm here
for you, if you need to bring any of that up.
And if you need to deal with it in slightly less
healthy ways, I can help out there too, I know
what that's like. Hopefully it doesn't come to
that, but I'm glad that the option's open. It's
nice to have people around, people who care about
you again. You look out over Bugtown. End of
the day, people wandering around, radios in the
distance, drum circle out by the long waits,
driving you crazy, as always. Nice moment. I
think each of you heal one stress. That was nice.
Sorry, I hijacked your scene a little bit. No,
honestly, I loved it. It was fantastic. That
was perfect. You really set us up for good shit
there. Yeah, I was like, I'm so happy to see
this happen. So do we want to go back to the
art installation? Yeah, so let's just roll and
like, yeah. I got a six. How many stress did
you have? Six. Oh, that's so good. Perfect. So
I was like, I'm going to go ahead and roll it
regardless, because no matter what, I'll probably
get better. So the final image we see is like,
you're just like, this is really working for
you. For whatever reason, what is it? I don't
know. I think you're sitting cross -legged on
the ground with these people you've kidnapped,
and you're just like smiling, and you're like...
Well, I'm acting like I'm one of them. Oh my
god, okay. I want to be immersed in the experience
too. Wow, we all got kidnapped today. Oh no.
So I'm like kind of looking around trying to
be Loki, and let's have it a hard time with like
not like kind of grinning a little bit, but she's
trying to like look around and just kind of like
observe people and just be like, what's going
on? You see a guy who is holding out, he has
a butterfly knife and he's just like flipping
it over his knuckles. He's just like... I'm gonna
find out who did this or I'm gonna fucking kill
him. I'll do it right now. I don't give a shit.
I mean, what if it was um, what if it was shank
shank? Shank shank? No. Shankshank is a true
motherfucker. Did you see that mural? Shankshank
is an emissary of light, the cleansing light
of destruction. You look at this guy's eyes,
they are blood red. Flipping the knife. He's
just like, no, no, no, Shankshank wouldn't do
this because this, this has a psychological element,
right? And Shankshank is pure id. That's the
one that's baseline, right? I think so. We know.
We all know. We're all familiar with these. Is
this Red Freud? What is he talking about? It's
me, Digman Boyd, and I'm the bleeding bad psychotherapist
on Transformers, anyway. It was a little bit
like, okay, I'm gonna keep an eye on him. You
feel a tap on your shoulder. Who's the other
person? I'm pretty sure that guy is Shag Shag.
I mean, I know he's not, but I'm also a little
convinced he might be. Wait, how do you know
he's not? Well, I'm just gonna skip over that.
So, shank shank could be any one of us. This
guy flippin' his knife. He's like, shank shank
is around us, inside us. Listen, I'm getting
used to this whole thing with the screaming and
all that. It's actually kind of working for me,
but this guy's ruining the experience. Oh, it's
so nice. Well, that's good to hear. Do you have
any other feedback? Well, I mean, I'd like to
do it voluntarily rather than being trapped in
a sewer. Oh, okay, okay. Hannah's like, no. I
feel like that's an important component though.
It's like art that like jumps out at you, you
know? Is it supposed to smell bad? That does
add a layer. That was me, I did piss myself.
And I shit! Stab, stab, stab. Oh. What's his
name? Dickman. Dickman Boyd. Oh, that Digmond.
You realize he's levitating slightly. He's like
an inch off the ground. Yeah, Digmond Boyd seems
like he's on some serious juice and something
else. Yeah. Well, if you're gonna piss and shit
somewhere, it's better be at the sewer, I guess.
It does save a few steps. And we cut. An incredible
and fulfilling art experience. Thank you for
going on that weird journey with me. I'm obsessed
with your art career. I love it. Unbelievable.
All right, so it is another night. in Bugtown,
baby. And it is an interesting night because
the shrill sound is going to escalate because
we haven't solved it yet. So what happens is
all of you guys are asleep in your tents or in
your beautiful training facility, as we know.
And then there is a shrill sound that normally
it's just a second or two, just beep, you know.
This goes on for about four minutes. And at the
end of it, you feel crazy. Like you feel like
the inside of your skull is rattling like...
You feel deranged. It is so painful. And, you
know, just like Petra said, the earplugs don't
work. You can't block it out. So what happens
at this point is riots. People are just wandering
around looking for radio towers and they are
going to start ripping them off. And so Petra.
has a radio tower late in the night. I think
y 'all would be awake if you want to be, not
tank. We have to do the whole Looney Tunes thing
again. I would allow it, whatever. I think that
you just have, you hear shouting, you hear voices.
You're just like, who the fuck is doing this?
You know, this is just local people who are in
pain and mad and ripping down any radio tower
they can find. Someone please give me an engagement
role. This is 1D6 unless you had someone patrolling,
which you don't, so. That's a five. That's a
five! Okay, so the situation is risky, but not
terrible. I think it's a group of, like, eight
or nine people that are rolling up on the slice,
like, and yelling and just like, there's one!
There's one! Like, you guys are on the roof and
you have enough notice of this. Like, how would
you guys address the situation? Like, Petra wakes
up and she is, like, shaking. Like, she doesn't
even have a weapon. She's not gonna be of use
here. I think Yanouche comes out with a stun
gun, and it's like, you know, it's a little taser.
It's like four inches long. It's just like...
Like let's it bark. Oh Is this an intrusion it
is an intrusion like we don't have to do a whole
like big fight about it But like I want to resolve
this in one or two roles, you know So what would
you guys do you have an angry mob who you know
is coming to just destroy your radio tower? Probably
fuck up all your shit. I think we head downstairs
and from from the inside behind closed doors
I'm just gonna yell we're closed I'm gonna take
the Vinny Vertabees statue and move him into
the window so there's looks like there's more
of us We remember our beloved icon Vinny Vertabees
the busted animatronic in the back He gops at
you with his terrible ma. It's great. Call this
a group action. Would you like to call this?
Command, persuade, or charm. I would like to
call it command, but I would like to say more
than what I just said. Yeah, please. The first
thing was me being facetious, obviously. But
with all of us there, I'll probably say something
like, you idiots, the sound is coming from underground.
It has nothing to do with this tower. We're working
on it. Just stay calm. Tank is here. Oh, he is?
But he's in the mob. What? This is your find
boys thing? Like you just like literally woke
up and you're like, whoa, whoa, I hear the sound
of boys. Tank's just like, Tank is just like,
oh, are we going to hang out? Okay. Hey guys,
maybe, maybe we shouldn't attack. This group
is nice. Hey! They slap you in the shoulder really
big. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Amazing. He makes a good
point! So are we group actioning win -take from
the crowd? Sure. I love that. Yeah. Incredible.
Well done this group action. I think I am. I
haven't pitched in yet, but I could maybe. You
could if you wanted to. I think... Lottie's probably
cranking around upstairs. Like, I don't know.
I would also understand if you sat this out,
you know? Your step. So we're gonna call this
desperate standard. So whatever this is, it's
a desperate role. You know when police wreck
a homeless encampment and everything is just
flat afterwards? You know, like that's what would
happen to your tents where you live. So I think
that is the stakes of... Like a desperate situation.
I think I know how a lot it would persuade actually
she's gonna like from the roof try and shout
down to the crowd and be like I know half of
you shop for me if you mess stuff up here I have
to spend the next day cleaning and fixing this
You won't get your drugs and the sound will still
be going on Do you really want to deal with that
sound without any magic? Really compelling. Take
a plus one on whatever this is. So this is sounding.
Yeah. Okay. So it's going to be either command
or persuade. I'm better at persuade. And I think
we were using a lot of logic kind of stuff. Yeah.
I'm cool with that. I got a six. Five. Four.
Two. Okay, so amazing a clean sweep so Lottie's
carries Unsurprising I think everybody was sort
of like on edge and techie and weird and stuff
But and then Lottie says a thing about like no
more manja and you see the crowd kind of deflate
Even tank deflates So the crowd like whatever
Fuck you and someone is gonna throw something
at the building really hard and like something
You know clonk clonk dense falls off. No huge
damage like minimal damage to the building and
then they turn away They're kind of muttering
they're going somewhere else. Like are you gonna
keep with them? Yeah, I'm staying with them.
Bye Tang. Bye guys. Alright, this has been an
intrusion that you handled really well Great
job. And now we are into second downtime. What
are we up to today? This isn't like a turn thing,
but I am fully probably way too busy doing, like,
me and Janouche picking up Halvard's Slack, almost
not realizing just the sheer amount of work that
she did at the Screamin' Slides, like, she lives
and breathes that place, like, there was just
a bunch of invisible stuff that we didn't even
notice, like... Like, you know, you have to twist
a certain bolt on the compressor in a certain
way to make it keep running. Like, that's just
a thing we didn't know about. You realize that,
like, the Hobart actually operates on a hand
crank, and so Halbert has been waking up every,
like, 45 minutes to, like, crank the crank so
the Hobart will keep mixing overnight. Like,
there's just, like, all this insane shit. You're
like, what? Like, this can't be how this works.
Yeah, so you're having a rough night. Yeah, who
would like to go? I'd like to recover some of
my harm. I got bonked pretty good on the head
tank the nurse Would you like to come help me
with my bonked head? Can you sing me the concussion
song? Tank pops his head like in the doorway
like sideways And then he disappears and then
reappears full nurse outfit Someone rang Yeah,
I heard that you could you know somebody else
got I don't I'm not I don't think I'm concussed
But like I got bonked really good. Oh good bonkin.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah So what we're gonna do is we're
gonna put on some some smooth jazz I'm on board
so far. All right, and We're just gonna we're
gonna vibe. All right Okay, I can vibe now follow
me and In motion. I was going to describe it,
okay? Tank starts putting his hands up. Like
he's in a glass case. Yeah, like we're in a glass
case. All right, follow me. And he puts his hands
on Tank's hands? No, no, no, no touching. It's
very important that we have to feel the energy
between us. And Teng starts doing like a wax
on, wax off motion. And then he does the thing
where, you know, like pop and locking where he
like waves his arms. And then he'll do like a
little belly dance, like hands above the head
kind of thing. Then he walks like an Egyptian.
He says, all right, now you just need to close
your eyes and sit here for the next three and
a half hours. Okay, bye. So much to think about.
Watching you dance is beautiful. You're a very
incredible dancer. Yeah, so cool. All right,
see ya. Who's playing the Whitlow Brass Quartet
on repeat? Oh, this has been prescribed by Nurse
Tank. You have to sit in your thoughts. We see
that, like, the radio was playing the brass quartet,
and then it's like, Monge and Mike was like,
my hernias have been going crazy. Like, let me
tell you, I think it's like I ate a bunch of
fibers, like, literally, like, couch fibers,
and it was really interesting what happened to
me after that. And there's, like, a hair wing.
Oh, God. Yep, yep. So, yet another incredible
moment of medical intervention. So, Tank is gonna
roll care, and then, yeah. Three. A three. So
that means you get one segment filled in on your
clock. If you're sitting for four hours. Yeah.
It's Monja Mike's hernia. That like, that's why
you got no benefit out of it. Just getting to
hear about it. And there wasn't enough of my
thoughts to sit with. It was Monja Mike's thoughts.
Incredible. Okay. Um, I need to de -stress myself
as well, but. Think I do need to spend a coin
Since we don't Since I'm using a third downtime
action. Yeah, just to recap your night. You had
your horrible Jim Bob mission Then you were walking
around all night making a shrill sound with your
mouth Then you were busy all day in the restaurant.
Then an angry mob came by So Connie is operating
on like five hours of sleep and yeah Okay, so
I can narrativize this coin. I think I probably
go out with Lottie and grab ingredients for some
kind of like really good stimulant that's gonna
give me more energy like it's not the thing that
you just have ingredients lying around for so
we do need to spend coins for it but like you
can synthesize it based on whatever we we purchased
does that make sense uh yeah i feel like we're
basically finding stuff to mix with the howler
i make yeah to make it like instant yeah like
back up to 100 You could sell it and call it
coffee. Or coffee. Yep, that's the Trash Planet
equivalent. C -W -O -F -F -E. Coffee. It is spoken
of in legendary tones, where it's like, oh my
god, coffee. Coffee. Coffee. Coffee. All right,
where are you guys? Where do you go to get this?
What was the market that I had my very first
scene in? That was in the food court, right?
Yeah, that's the food court. Yeah. So the food
court kind of runs all day, every day. So you
and Lottie, we just see you. It's packed. It's
a bright, sunny day, still glitter. Everybody's
got masks on. You know, people shouting, people
bargaining, big sacks, you know, people carrying
shit around. And you're out in the food carts.
We see a few minutes of chill time. What are
you all up to? So why would why would Johnny
Law went to kill just a random federal worker
that seems like a bit overkill for their operations
and what does i don't understand why johnny law
showed up when we were doing something for the
fresco fuzz right yeah it's got to be connected
in some way i don't know we need to lay low for
a while though we don't want to piss off powerful
people any more than we already have i i agree
i feel like the first thing we should do speak
with tank we should i don't think he knows more
than he's letting on but um we can check he was
given this task by the fuzz anyway we were we
didn't stand to gain anything ourselves necessarily
out of it maybe someone on the fuzz knows something
i can't believe johnny law knows we have a gun
now though that's not that's not gonna end up
well for us somebody's got a gun hey i got your
death hemp ready to go no no one has a gun it's
just a euphemism um what's it short for no no
it's it's like a figure of speech you know like
gun to your head would you rather never drink
slushies again or Never have a shot of juice
again. Look at this guy speaking words to me.
This is crazy. Yeah, that's how But answer his
question. I know he's got like nouns and verbs
and shit He's like he's telling me he's got a
gun and he's got a figure and he's got a you
know a slushy and he's got all these things and
all I have is this death hemp I'm trying to sell
you, you know, I see there's a pickaxe in the
back of your head The merchant turns the side
They hand you a little sack of something that
like it makes your eyes water getting close Thank
you for the noun here's a noun back give her
the coin. Oh my god incredible Wow, she eats
it Okay, and you're sure you can synthesize a
howler that won't that won't be that addictive
and will work instantly with this Can promise
at least one of those? Would you like to roll
for your stress also this substance we cooked
up it feels like a downer and an upper like you
mix them What are you at now? I'm at three now.
OK. Manageable? Instead of far loco, it's quattro
crazy. Write it down. Write it down. Quattro
crazy. OK. Quattro crazy. So combo howler and
deathamp. Great. I think this is one of these
drugs that like it's not popular because it sucks
You know, it's like it's one of these drugs that
makes you like it goes fast and slow at the same
time And so you're just sort of like sweating
and vibrating and just like tired and yeah, so
Connie enjoy Yeah, yeah, it's like that feeling
where you haven't gotten enough sleep and you're
using coffee to push through it and it's not
Helping it's just increasing your heart rate
and you're still tired. It's just it's just that
feeling distilled into a drug Delicious All right,
who would like to go next? I'll go next I think
tank is going to there's the opening on the team,
right? So he's gonna take the time and do some
training. Okay, what are you gonna train? I'm
gonna go prowess What does this look like when
you are training? I think it's going to be like
an old school like football training. Like he's
high stepping through like a grid of ropes, pushing
and flipping tires. He's like pulling a sled
and he's, he's just getting just physically like
it's, it's different than the weight training,
right? Like it's like to be faster. Off in the
distance, you see Coach UFO on the sidelines,
big sunglasses sipping out of a tall drink glass.
It's like 9 a .m. She's got an umbrella in it.
Yeah, yeah. She's hanging out. She looks at you,
walks back inside. Interesting. Good training.
Hell, yeah. OK, so it's another day. Another
fucking day in this place. We just keep having
days. So you knew she was wrapping up for the
night. I think this is the early, early morning.
He's always night shift Petra's always morning
shift and he actually comes over to see you at
your training place like you are hanging out
in your apartment and You hear just like an awkward
kind of like hesitant like go go go on the door
tank goes to open the door It's you noosh. Uh,
you doosh What's up, man? What's up? Hey, hello.
Yeah, he looks pressed as always like he's always
Very very trim. He's always in his old -school
ass uniform and he says Tank, I would like to
invite you to dinner. Really? Yeah. Oh my, yeah,
yeah. I would love to go to dinner. Damn, it's
happening. It's happening. Right now. Are we
boys? I think we're boys. Predator. Predator
handshake. Amazing. And so we cut to, like, the
two of you have to walk out to Yanush's place,
which you've never been to before. And he doesn't
live here typically, so he's taking you through
the streets. It is that late of the night, hearing
people rattling around. You've got clavagers,
you know, scrabble around in the dirt. That's
our weird beetles that we've got. And you know,
she's like, so like the place is like messy and
stuff, but like, don't like look at that too
closely, I guess. No, no, no, I get it, man.
Absolutely. Life of a bachelor. Wait. Yeah. Are
you a bachelor? Do you have a family? Wouldn't
it be crazy if I had like five kids? That would
be crazy. That would be so crazy. It would be
crazy that they never came up. I know. Unless
you're trying to like protect their identities
or something. I know. And like, what if I'm like
lying about having five kids and like. But you
never said you had five kids. I never, yeah.
Except right now. But you're just imposing a
hypothetical. Maybe. Unless I'm lying about it.
Take one stress. The two of you rumble through
the streets, being boys, until you see a massive
metal object. It is big. It's like a half -cylinder.
It's maybe, I don't know, 15 feet long. And getting
closer, you realize it is the scoop of a giant
bulldozer just flipped over. So it's like the
concave is on top. It's just sitting on the ground,
which the ground is like hard packed trash and
earth and shit, you know? And for a minute you're
like, uh, and then Yanoosh just kind of vanishes
down a hole. Like he has dug out a little thing
in the side. He's like, yeah, so you do have
to kind of like go like in, and I know your shoulders
are wide, but I'm hoping that, um. I can, I can
get skinny. Did you know that rats, there's something
about their bones, but I've never seen a rat.
Yeah, interesting. Something about their bones.
Yeah. I'm gonna think of it later. Yeah, it would
be like a cool fun fact to know if I just knew
the rest of the facts. I just keep giving you
one stress. So, you climb through into Yanush's
place. You realize the first thing he does is
he takes out his taser and he's like, if anybody's
in here, you gotta get the fuck out. Silence.
He's like, yeah, sometimes people get in here
because there's no door, obviously. There's some
beetles. He clears them out. shoves them out
the front. You're just like, oh, okay. And we
see Anusha's place. What you see is relentlessly
organized. It is stacks. It is crates. It is
like, what you're seeing is like... One man bending
his back against the chaos, you know? Like, all
of this is organized by size, some of it is by
color. There's a lot of shit, like, drilled into
the top of the scoop, and it is, um, hanging
down. Like, this is beautiful. This is kind of
like a museum archive kind of feel. And you realize
that all of it is extremely old. Like, all of
it is... Trash? In the sense that it's not valuable?
Like, nobody would ever rob this place because
who gives a shit, you know? Because, like, there's
trash everywhere. Like, if you want trash, you
can just get trash. So it's not tools. It's not
machinery. It's a lot of old maps. It's a lot
of old paperwork. It's a lot of, like, pictures
of things. It's magazines. It is, like, toys
and pencils and, like, a plastic banana that
is sitting on, like, a little desk that, you
know, looks like it's about to just... disintegrate.
Some of this stuff is so old that when you touch
it, it is just sort of falling apart in your
hand and you're like, whoa. And you see that
the living area is just a little canvas cot,
like a hospital cot and a TV dinner tray stand.
And it's also not super tall in here. Like if
it's 15 feet long, it's probably only like four
feet deep or something. I don't know. It's hard
to. So anyway, you kind of have to either be
on your knees or be sitting. Yanouche whips out
a tarp and just sets it on the floor. And he's
like, for the Beatles, obviously. Well, obviously.
Obviously, yeah. So the TV tray is prohibitively
high. You have to reach up and over from the
ground. But this is what we're working with.
You realize that on the TV tray, we see a little
bit of a paint set. It's a tiny, tiny miniature
painting set. The lights are like old school
phosphorescent lanterns. old old old old as hell
he says yeah so uh yeah i'm only gonna run this
for a second because i get kind of light -headed
if i i don't know what that is i think it's like
some kind of dark magic um pulls out a camp stove
like a little propane stove he's like but dude
this is a special occasion so i just wanted to
you know like Give it the gravity it deserves.
You know, I have my boy here, you know, because
we're boys. Two boys. Two boys. Two boys. Two
boys. And he pulls out an MRE, a meal ready to
eat. It is at least 100 years old. Like just
visually looking at it, you're like, uh -oh.
You see the writing on the side says, beef and
noodle bonanza. and so he starts heating up he's
got some water he's like so i've been saving
up this water i did run it off the sink but halbert's
like out of town so like that's fine i guess
and then uh you have to not tell connie because
and he reaches in his backpack and pulls out
halbert's cut of beef i know right i know i know
it's it's crazy but we're boys right we are boys
but we're not gonna eat all of it right like
we got it we got it I cannot stress enough that
there's like one ounce of meat, right? Like there's
four ounces total. In terms of how much meat
there is, it's like, no, but dude, like. look
at this and you open up the package and uh the
vision at the edges of your eyes goes red and
it could be the fumes from the propane because
he's running this in an enclosed space but you
you feel yourself the death metal guitars pick
up the meat dimension You see the beef god. You
see it's rippling muscles. It's sticking to itself
as it's walking. It reaches out. It touches you
by the shoulders, smears you with blood, and
just goes, MEAT! MEAT! So, yeah, I don't know.
You're at a crossroads here. Are you gonna eat
beef with the boys, or are you gonna be a loser?
I mean, we could have some beef. I'm giving this
to you as a if you start you're not gonna stop
you know like you're gonna eat the meat or you're
not you know like there's not gonna be a like
oh we're gonna secretly hide it you know. Tag's
gonna eat the meat. Yanush sees you reading it
he's like you can read right like yeah yeah it's
a fucking bonanza dude I know I know I know those
are What is it Bonanza, do you think? It's bigger
than a party, right? And that's what I'm saying.
It's bigger than a party. And so we are eating
our, I think we like thinly, thinly slice the
meat. I think it would be seared. Okay. A little
sear, a little sizzle. Beautiful. You know, she
pulls out just a little bit of salt and pepper,
you know little tiny trade It's just oh it smells
so good and the carbon monoxide is building and
you're like, yeah Please roll for me. We're gonna
call this a prowess roll because you're eating
hundred years old a meal ready to eat Five five.
Okay, how many ticks on boys night? Yeah, I think
you're gonna get a free tick out of Boy's Night
for this. I'm only gonna give you the one, because,
you know. It is Boy Night. I have one boy. In
character, yeah. I thought about inviting Grever,
but it feels like he would... He wouldn't appreciate
it. I know, he wouldn't bring down the vibe.
And he's new, he's gotta pay his dues a little
bit. To the boys. Do you hear something outside?
What? I don't know, it just sounds like someone's
listening in on our conversation. That can't
be right. No, I mean, Crevver, he doesn't know
where I live, right? Like, he wouldn't follow
me home, right? I don't think we know. That could
have been anyone. That could have been anyone.
Especially if it's Crevver! We'll invite you
at the next time if you're... If you don't, weird
us out! Okay, I'll see you guys next week! That
was definitely Crevver. It was Crevver. Beginning
to think it was Crevver. Seems like he is the
type of person to follow you up. Okay, noted.
Do you think his yogurt is any good? That's such
a good question, dude. It's like all he does.
It's all he does. You'd think... You'd think
it would be good. You'd think it would be good
if it was all a man did. But... But it's Crevver.
Everything about him. Yeah. Tells me that it
is it is not good. All right, I'm gonna investigate
dude I think I think we got to follow him home
one of these nights. You're right. We got to
turn the tables. Yeah And you have a beautiful
boys night and at the you know, I don't know.
It's nice It's nice and the fumes don't even
smell that bad over the smell of the beef and
this old MRE Like it's just kind of amazing right
because you haven't had a mass manufactured anything
in a long time Yeah, so it's mostly powder at
this point tastes like a lot of chemicals, but
Yeah, you're having a beautiful little night.
And as we're heading out, Janouche reaches down
off a shelf and he pulls out this crusty old
notebook. It is pretty ripped up. It is real
old. Again, probably over a hundred years, just
visually. The pages are disintegrating in his
hands. He's like, check this out. And he flips
it open to a page. It's kind of amazing he can
read too, cause he's like local, local, you know?
And so he very slowly and carefully reads, day
65. Talbin did his fucking job for once. Kamenya's
buying in. Broke out the beef and noodle bonanza
to celebrate. Last of our meat supply, but we'll
be printing our own in no time. Tastes like victory."
And he slaps it closed and he's like, that's
us dude, that's the beef and noodle bonanza.
Beef and noodle bonanza? But what do you mean
we're gonna be printing more in no time? Oh no,
this is - It's all old like this is from the
ship from the the neater seltzer, you know, the
ship that's under the mountain Does tank know
about this? I don't think you would I I don't
think you're local enough. Yeah. Yeah You know
seltzer mountain like, you know how that's like
it's a spaceship and it was No, no, I didn't
know that. Oh, dude Yeah, it's cool. I don't
know. It's just kind of it's just kind of cool,
right? like it's just cool to know that like
things used to be good and they had bonanzas
back then and Maybe things will be good again
yeah boys boys more bonanzas ahead bonanzas to
come brother he goes for a chest bump but you
have no indication that that's happening so he
just kind of like slims into you in a weird way
and i think that's where we cut out is the two
of you apologizing to each other the camera pulls
back and all how much of it was a carbon monoxide
dream how much of it was real who's to say it's
yet another beautiful day That was our downtime.
We're coming up on mission. What are you guys
thinking? Yeah, I think we we have for the first
time since the last mission I think we're all
probably gathered in the dining room as a group.
Guys, Jim Bob, he slipped me something on the
way out. Probably should have told you this earlier,
but we all kind of been busy doing our own things.
Tank, we don't need to know every time you do
drugs, okay? No, no, no, no. It wasn't drugs.
No, it was rioting. Yeah, but that was like I
got swept up in it You ever been in a riot, you
know, you know, okay. Yeah, I'll give you that
one. Yeah, Liz eyes like sparkle. She's a gag
at it You look like you've been in the writer
to hi we're getting sidetracked Yeah, yeah, so
Jim Bob he He gave me this and I pull out the
disc. Yeah, is it the envelope is still on it?
Yep This logo, I recognize it's from the Arcelos
Petrochemical Research Northern Extension. I
haven't seen a mini disc in forever. Connie,
you take one look at this. You're educated. You
know what's up around here. You're like, oh,
that's the library. That's the library north
of the canyon. That is its own little zone. It
would take a few days to get there. So Arcelos
Petrochemical, we can get this disc right at
the library north of the canyon. I don't think
anyone here has the means to look at it, but
if it was important, why would he give it to
you in disc form? I don't think he knows that
we can't afford a CD player, right? Yeah, but
like what if it's like That's why he was killed.
Maybe he took it I think it's worth investigating,
but we can't we can't have the ire of Johnny
law back on us Yeah, we need it. We need to kill
the heat. Well, we also were kind of broke yeah,
so maybe we take some time and And scratch up
some cash Let the heat go down We do have someone
a bird jailbird Yeah, I guess they they'll pay
tender mercy will definitely pay they'll pay
top dollar for a jailbird I think they gave us
a deadline for it. So we can't just ignore them.
They're the type of people where it might Come
back to bite us. Yeah, we did. Yeah, it's not
gonna go well for us. And we did steal the getty
girl's job. That's true. We do have to deliver
on our first assignment. Otherwise, what's even
the f - Yeah, why'd we do that in the first place?
Yeah, we don't really have an option here not
to do that. We should probably prioritize that
before we get more heat from Johnny Law. Are
we gonna kill a jailbird? Yeah, let's kill a
jailbird. I don't want to kill a jailbird. There
are these majestic - Have you ever seen a jailbird?
No. I've seen their nests, the jails, but never
seen the bird. Oh my gosh, they're these enormous,
crazy conglomerations of... They're an enigma
in that of themselves. And the rovens, it's like
a tradition to just admire them. I can't kill
it. I don't think we have to. If none of us except
for Enlai have seen one, neither have they. All
we need to do is make a fake, right? Oh, I need
to be convincing. I can, uh, I can arrange that.
So if we are faking this, it has to be a complete
secret. We can't do it in Bugtown. And ideally,
we need some pieces of actual jailbird to make
this convincing. Yeah, I know exactly who to
call. Is everyone on board? We fake a jailbird?
I'm in. Pete's fighting one with a messed up
shoulder. Then we need to figure out what the
actual meat we're gonna use is, but I guess we
can cross that bridge later. Yeah, maybe we could
just kill hundreds of smaller birds. You're listening
to a hypergallant production. If you like what
you heard, leave us a rating review. check out
our website at hypergallant .com. Thank you to
The Drims, The Serfs, Crime of Passing, Perverts
Again, and our own Rabbit Sullivan for the use
of their music. Thank you to Morgan Daly, Malcom
Craig, and Gregor Hutton for the use of their
game, Ace Take. Come on, everybody, give it a
little clap. Come on, everybody, just give it
a little clap.