Trash Planet contains themes of desperation and
poverty. We portray a comedic, absurd, and violent
world. For a full list of content warnings, please
see the episode description. flashy shots, colorful,
wow, cool, expensive sci -fi, Apple TV, call
me. And we see the gnarly and twisted streets
of Fresco. It is a new day. It is a new vibe.
The vibe is fresh. The vibe is a little bit nasty
as it always is. And today we are in downtime.
We have survived our mission. We are chilling.
We're kind of in the amorphous. between times.
So things are taking as much time as we want
them to. And so it is in one of these moments
of downtime that we find it within ourselves
to review our personal agendas, our characters'
internal quests for this phase of play. Does
anyone have an agenda that they would like to
set? Mine's currently make a big gamble and win
and I'm keeping that just because I didn't really
do any of that and I wanted I'd still want to
do it. Nice. I'm gonna keep my agenda. I feel
as though I'm making some serious progress on
acquiring some boys for boys night. So we got
we got things in motion. Me and you noosh. We
got plans. Nooshing it up. Yeah yeah exactly.
Ladi's been Kind of wanting to find some help,
but I don't know if that is panning out so well
right now. It seems like in kind of the spaces
where we're moving towards, there's more like
need for like official credentials or something
like that. So I think Lottie wants to get some
sort of be like a credential or status or rank
or whatever that gives her a little bit of more
freedom in maybe like the middle chips or upper
chips or something like that. I like that. I
like get credentials for higher status life.
Nice, actionable. Enla's gonna go back to one
of her previous agendas that we didn't haven't
discussed. Enla is going to work on finding objects
to help her create special armor. She has a vision
of some cool artistic style armor that will protect
her from stabby stabby knives. Enla's been thinking
about knives a lot lately, no particular reason.
And death. Interesting. Okay, fantastic. For
the listeners, we call on our personal agendas
for XP. If you do something to advance your agenda,
that's great. And you get a little tick mark
in your box and you say, hooray. Okay, Lottie,
it is a regular day. It's the morning. You are
trundling around. You're checking on your stuff.
You're looking at the plants. You got the greenhouse
up top. You look over at the poster that you
have on the wall of the greenhouse. What is that
poster? Um, it's an old like 20 to 25 year old,
like ragged up protest poster from, from like
the events leading up to the big incident with
the space elevator. Oh man. So it's like really
old and faded at this point. I think it's a primitive
grinders symbol, like before they'd really locked
it down and got a graphic designer on it. Like
this one was hand drawn. Is there a slogan or
I don't know? No, this one is just like their
logo. And then I think it would have been like
a date for a meeting or something like that underneath
it. Cool. All right. So it would have been one
that she attended and then just kind of kept
the thing for. Well, you look at this poster,
how do you feel? Looking at it kind of has like
a somber vibe for Lottie. A lot has happened
ever since all of that went down. And she has
a lot of mixed feelings about the days that followed,
like the big rebellion. So, yeah, it just it's
kind of like a somber thing and it has her thinking
about a lot of different subjects in her past.
Yeah, I like that. Yeah, these mornings are nice
for moments like that. Like things are often
very chaotic, but right here it's you and your
plants. Greenhouse looks good. You got your nubbly
that was growing. How do you think your nubbly
is doing? That was the one where I went for the
seed instead of the actual plant, right? Yeah.
I would say it's. probably only just starting
to sprout. I feel like this is like a long -term
project for Lottie and these might take a while
to grow. Okay, yeah. You're looking at your nubly.
And then you head downstairs. So you've got the
greenhouse up top, but you also kind of have
a root cellar situation where you're growing
some mushrooms. And these mushrooms have always
grown pretty well because they're mushrooms and
they want to grow and they love it. And there
is like water in the earth here. It's not quite
water. It's a little bit juice, but they did
try to terraform this planet. So there is a little
bit of water in the atmosphere and in the ground.
So between that and the juice, stuff is alive
a little bit. you get down there and you realize
it's looking kind of parched and you stick your
hand in the soil and it feels dry which is crazy
because this is just the ground and the ground
is I don't know like this just as a gardener
you would know that something is different here
what this means is Your mushrooms are not growing
so good. And we're going to reduce resources
by one, because you depend on these to keep the
restaurant flowing. This is something that you
can fix. This is an ongoing trouble. But for
the time being, I don't know, looking a little
rough down there. So this is something you can
address with a project clock and with story stuff.
But yeah. All right, there you go. We can mark
that on the sheet. And then whoever would like
to do a downtime action, this is a great time.
Yeah, I think Inla would want to do a patrol.
She's been anxious since the Giddy Girls attack.
So after this, she just wants to make sure that
she's wandering around and able to check on things,
keep an eye on things. I like it. What does it
look like when you're patrolling the Screamin'
Slice? It's mostly actually me from the rooftop.
Because I like spent a little time with Lottie,
but I think just kind of like looking out over
and just kind of walking around the perimeter
on the top and looking around and see if there's
anybody around. Do you feel cool up there or
do you feel scared? No, I feel cool up on the
roof. I feel cool on the roof. I'm scared on
the ground, but I'm cool on the roof. All right,
a cool camera shot. Enla from far away, a big
coat flapping in the wind. Ooh, colors, textures.
Also, I'm going to be an asshole here. You have
a backing faction request. So your second downtime
slot is going to be spoken for. So you will only
get one unless you spend a coin on getting another
one. And we're going to get into that at the
end of this session, what that request is. I'm
also going to say we have four coins, so I think
you should. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Fair enough.
Nice. All right, who would like to go next? Connie's
gonna train, so I'm able to upgrade my playbook.
So I'm gonna take foresight, so twice per mission
or once per intrusion or unplanned mission, I
can assist a teammate without paying any stress.
Awesome. Okay, so what does that look like when
you're training? So I'm training in a way that
I can foresee what's about to come. I'm gonna
rope in Enla in this scene. Yes! Yes! So this
is sort of a double whammy where you went to
test potential traps for your art exhibits and
I went to test my foresight based on like your
behavior or anything to see what the trap is
to see if I can avoid it. I love this. It's like
it was just like setting traps all across the
screaming slice just so you can avoid them. Yeah,
probably like in my usual haunts and like it's
it's an understanding, you know, I don't think
we're like, I can't speak for you. But but Connie's
not looking to involve other people in this.
Fair enough. Why would you set a trap not considering
other people's feelings? There's lots of places.
I imagine I would set one up. in the root cellar
i would set one up in the kitchen i would set
one up in one of the booths in the in the screaming
slice we cut to the scene it is late at night
in the screaming slice uh yanush is trying to
do like the closing routine and the prep for
tomorrow this plays out okay i think i'm probably
walking in the root cellar when a snare trap
goes off and immediately I'm able to pull out
my knife and just cut it loose even before my
legs are in the air. Yes! Okay. I think I'll
yell out, because I don't know where Enla is
right now, Good job, Enla! Yes! It would have
gotten me! It would have gotten a normal person!
And then I walk five feet down and like a big
rock on the screen like hits me across the head.
Did that one get ya? Yes! But can you see? Like,
that's the important part. I need people to witness
the art. It's dark down here, but the next one
won't be in a cave, I think. Okay, okay. And
like, you had some art painted on the side of
the rock. What was it? A crude, just -in -red
-paint, cartoon version of The Stabby Stab Murderer.
Oh no! It's Shake Shank! Yanush is like, God,
I'm really worried about that. Do you think Shake
Shank is around here? Eh, closer than you think.
Janouche looks at you with terror. It's okay,
Janouche. You're already the ghost. He's not
interested in the dead. I resent that. I resemble
and I resent that remark, okay? Janouche is chopping.
He's mad. Who has something next? I need to get
rid of stress. Hell yeah. So I'm gonna use one
on that. So Lottie's advice is to go up and work
on her gardening. I definitely win a world for
this one. Nice. So with my worst, so with my
prowess? Yes. That's a five. Okay. How many did
you have? I think I had seven. Okay. Fantastic.
You're back down to two stress. Um, give me the
scene, give me the scene of Lottie like getting
a little bit toasty and Lottie is, um, she's
in her greenhouse just kind of tending to her
normal routine going through like trimming the
manga, making sure it's all watered, going through
like the vats of the slightly more processed
stuff that she has like ongoing. And then, uh,
she just kind of takes a break goes out onto
the under the roof and just starts enjoying like
a smoke for the evening and running through the
events of the the negotiation in her head and
just thinking about like where things started
to like freak her out a little bit and she kind
of started to lose her cool and her tank stepped
in and stuff like that and she's just kind of
dwelling on how that would have gone so much
worse for her if she didn't have the rest of
the group with her and just kind of feeling more
comforted in that The rest of the screaming sites
really does have her back. That's really nice!
Ah, okay, we see, like, I don't know, you're
just crouched up on that rooftop. Oh, important,
you gotta wear your mask. So trying to smoke
something with your mask on is just like... Honey,
have you ever seen someone try and smoke a cigarette
with an oxygen mask? No! Oh, no. My grandfather
used to do it. He would literally take off the
mask, take a big whiff of the cigarette, and
then put it back on. All right, now that I'm
thinking, maybe Lottie's extremely practiced
at that, actually. She's probably been doing
it for a while. It's not pleasant to do it, but
she's used to it. I also do not recommend doing
that. That's incredibly dangerous to smoke with
oxygen. Flammable. It's incredibly flammable.
Please don't do that. Amazing. You have a beautiful
moment and you don't explode. Fantastic. Tank,
where are you at, buddy? Okay, so I have several
things to do in this downtime. Last time... There
was someone on the tickball team that I had to
go meet. So that was Shahadi, who's the goalie.
He asked you to meet and you didn't really know
why. Like it was just sort of unclear. It was
like, come meet me later today. So if you want,
you can go to that meeting or you can say you
missed it. No, I'm going to go to that meeting.
Okay. Yeah. It's one of my number one priority.
One of my many number one priorities Take it
as a big planner, but all of the things on it
are equal. There's no plan. It's just all number
one priority Okay, so you head out behind the
gym at night where he said to meet and you can
hear people like people are sprinting around
the track, you know, the people are Yelling in
the distance soft radio mind your mic in the
distance. Just like hey, I'm here. Hello anyway
Flank you, baby. That's my iconic phrase. Okay.
And anyway, yeah, so you're out behind the gym
and you see Shahadi, who is huge, scary. Like
one of the big things about Shahadi is that he
is known as someone with intense focus. Like
he's one of those game sense guys. Like he's
not the best athlete. He's the best like... Strategy
guy, you know, uh, I tick ball IQ high IQ. Yeah
for sure for sure And so he sees you and he's
just like hey, hey, what's up? And I gotta like
tap him up but totally fuck it up. Nice He looks
at you as if you've grown another arm like he
looks at you with absolute like contempt Oh,
sorry, oh my bad forgot you're not not really
like a guy like what who deaths up Right? No?
Okay. Sorry. Continue! He's just looking at you.
I'm laughing. He's just looking at you. You feel
about two feet tall. He says, he's like, okay,
so you know Jim Bob, right? Jim Bob Marscapone?
Oh, yeah, yeah. I know Jim Bob, yeah. I told
you about that bribery thing. Yeah. Yeah. He
sucks. He sucks, right? Like he's a guy that
you don't like? Well, yeah, of course. I tried
to bribe him and he kind of, you know, retaliated
a little bit. okay okay so you don't mind fucking
him up like that'd be cool for you i mean yeah
yeah is that what you need me to do for the team
yeah dude complex emotions on his face oh he's
uh i don't know you get the sense is everything
okay what yeah dude yeah like what are you you're
like 19 how old are you i'm like like a tough
19 i'm like i'm like a weathered 19 Wait, does
Tank actually 19? I just pulled that number out
of my ass. Really good improv response, though.
He looks at you again, that really searching
kind of look, and he's like, yeah, that's cool,
man. Okay, yeah, so that's the job. I need you
to go - Wait, wait. Was my age important for
that? No, it's just you're really young. I don't
want to be doing this shit anymore. I don't want
to be fucking people up to - Intimidate people
and like I did I don't know. Maybe I'm above
it. Wait. Wait, are you saying this is like you
handing it off to the next generation? He looks
at you like am I the next generation you hear
a marching band It's just like a resounding horror
that fills you and he goes like Yeah, dude. Yeah.
Um, yeah, so this job you beat the shit out of
him Tell him they'll fuck with the fuzz and that's
it. He's fucking with the fuzz. Yeah, man Oh,
he's gonna get so fucked up Can I like can I
borrow like a separate mask though because like
he knows mine Or is this a situation where like
you need him to know that it was us He's just
looking real sad like and he looks at you and
he's like You do whatever you want, dude. It
doesn't super matter. Hey, hey. Jodi. Yeah. You're
not, you're not looking great. You look, you
look like you're hurting, but like on the inside.
Like do you, do you have like an emotional concussion?
Stop being funny when I'm trying to act. Emotional
concussion I think is my favorite phrase. Jodi's
lip twitches. This was a good thing to say to
him. You're a good, good guy, dude. You're a
good guy. Yeah, it's all good. I'm thinking about
moving. I'm thinking about getting out of town.
You want to be on the team, right? You want to
play for the team? More than anything in the
world. The marching band swells. Yeah, great.
So like I can't really pay you because I wasn't
really getting paid either. But if you do this,
I don't know, maybe we do some coaching. I don't
know. Do you need coaching? What do you? Yeah,
I mean, I would love like a mentor mentee situation.
That's gross. I don't wanna do that with you.
Okay, like a team captain looking out for the
next generation kinda dude? I mean, I'm not the
captain, but we can throw the tick around, right?
Yeah, yeah, no, that's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, that's sufficient paper. Alright, later.
Starts walking away. I will crack him. Tank turns
to the camera. As he's walking away, Tank's just
gonna... Hey, Shuhadi! yeah hey if you ever need
anything i'm your teammate i'm here for you bro
he kind of looks at you kind of nods looks tired
walks away all i can think of is hey shawty it's
your birthday they're gonna party like it's your
birthday You try that with him, he will turn
you into paste. 50 cent exists in this world.
Completely unchanged. It's the only thing. Yeah,
except his name is .5 coin. Incredible. So I
don't really know if we should call that a downtime
use. Like that was just kind of you receiving
a potential... M -m -m -m -m -m -m -m -m -m -m
-m -m -m -m -m -m -m -m -m -m -m -m -m -m -m
-m -m -m -m -m -m -m -m -m -m -m - Yeah, okay,
do you want to create a personal project of Boy's
Night? This is the most ambitious project we'll
ever have on the show. It's a 28 clock. By the
end of it, Devon has a hands across America thing
where all the boys are just hand to hand. Okay,
so the clock size depends on... how complex the
project is. So is this like, I want to hang out
with Yanouche tomorrow, or is this like, I need
a lot of boys for Boys Night? Oh, no, no, no.
Hanging out with Yanouche is step one. Step one
A. Yeah, step one A of mini steps. OK, I have
a pitch for this. This sounds like a community
project to improve morale. Oh, yes. Boys Night
will absolutely improve morale. Incredible. Hell
yeah. I would agree completely. OK. This game
has mechanics for boys night. Boys night, boys
night, boys night. So is it fair to call it an
8 o 'clock? Do you feel like what you're envisioning
is represented by an 8 o 'clock? I can for sure
make it into an 8 o 'clock. OK, OK. This game
has mechanics for boys night. Activate boys night.
Feel like let's do another round and then we'll
come back to boys night. Yes. That's cool All
right. So before we can do another round another
thing is gonna happen Connie you're in the middle
of a regular day. What are you doing? I think
at this point, I'm probably cleaning up around
the restaurant. Okay, are you mopping dusting?
What are you doing? it's a combination of mopping
and you know, because we have to have reusable
cups because Of course we do. There's, we don't
get new things here. So it's like dumping the,
whatever drinks people have into the mop bucket.
As well as just. Huh. Much to consider. Thank
you. Well, I guess I'm not cleaning with that
mop bucket, but once I'm done, you know, it's
a bucket. It's like a bus, like a bus tray that
has just like all the. Oh, nasty. I love it.
Okay. So you are getting your work done. You're
just listening to the chatter around you and
you hear a piercing shrill. sound that is industrial
and strange and high -pitched. It's like, you
know what dogs hear and it makes them crazy,
you know, it's like this. And not only you hear
it, everybody in the place hears it. Everybody
at once like, oh, and like keels over for a second.
This is loud and it feels like it's coming from
inside your head. Like it's real bad. And you're
like, what the fuck was that? Like none of you
know what this is. Everyone spends a few minutes
going. You know, they're Muppets. They were Muppets
eating at this restaurant, but that's fine. What
sucks is that happens the first time around midday
and then it just keeps fucking happening It happens
repeatedly at all times of day at night intermittently.
There's no time interval There's no anticipating
it. Sometimes you go a full day without one.
Sometimes there's ten in a day It hurts it sucks.
Everyone's mad. Everyone's on edge. We are lowering
morale by one This is an ongoing trouble that
can be solved with a project. Okay. Yeah, does
anybody else have a personal Thing they'd like
to do. I know Enla is doing something with the
weathermen at some point but uh, or some faction
related I assume it's yes I could also train
you could spend a coin and a coin to also train.
Yeah. Okay. You want to train? Yeah, sure What
are you training? What are you? Are you training
playbook? Are you training an attribute? Playbook.
Yeah, and we get two for playbook because of
the previous upgrades nice Are you anywhere close
to leveling up? I'm three away from playbook
xp. So what does it look like when you're training?
Well, I guess like I guess the question is like
what am I loving up to? But I was picturing like
a training like classic like boxing sort of just
like in the corner Just like punching much of
shit, but with knives Stabbing the bag into it
like falls apart and then sewing it out together
then stabbing it again Nehar can I put you on
the spot? Can we see you training with runk?
Like you're just hanging out with runk on a regular
day Yeah I'm kind of out in the wastes like just
cuz I know that there's stuff out there that
I can destroy and I'm not gonna hurt anybody
What are you near? A large trash pile that I've
been kind of accumulating different things to
stab. Soft things mostly because I can't stab
metal. And I believe Runk is using some of the
foam they use to put limbs back together on bodies
to like, you know, piece together like a good
punching bag equivalent or whenever these, you
know, whenever they fall apart, Runk has the
resources. I really appreciate you helping me,
Runk. Yeah, yeah, of course. Anything. How many
times are we gonna be doing this? We've been
here all day. I mean, I don't know. I just got
some shit I gotta work out, and this is... Yeah,
yeah, of course, of course. It helps. Of course.
You getting hungry or something after we can
go get some dinner? I mean, we could, I guess.
I don't know. I haven't really been hungry. I
haven't really eaten a lot recently. I've just
been kind of, uh... thinking a lot about hitting
things and stabbing things and trying to sleep
but failing and just trying to prepare, you know.
I feel like there's going to be some retribution.
What does runk look like right now? Quite tired.
It's been a long day of work because this is
not long after acquiring the biggest giddy girl
as a body to hide and recycle. So I think that
takes up a lot of their time. So they're a little
haggard looking, again hungry, like they said,
visibly sort of tired, but you know, is taking
this opportunity to bond with Enla a bit more,
and trying to kind of hide the tiredness. Also,
it's interesting that you dealt with the body
that Enla created, right? That's something. Yeah.
Yeah. She's talking about stabbing things and
hitting things, and this mistracks with what
I saw. Wrong. Wait, where did you put her? Right
now she's just on ice. But we've got a couple
demands. This would make a really good batch
for the Farmers' Union. Gonna take a lot of grinding.
I don't know if you want to hear about this.
No, I don't want to doze. I don't know. I just
keep having nightmares and she's just on fire
and attacking me. So it's nice to know she's
on ice. That makes me feel a little better. Yeah,
hey, I see I see this kind of shit pretty regularly
you don't need to beat yourself up No, it was
it was either you or her. I'm sure Just judging
by the the wounds the defensive wounds and the
attacking You know, I actually really appreciate
that ronk. I uh, I think I needed it I needed
to hear that I don't know. I've been I've been
beating myself up a little bit about all this
and I don't know maybe Maybe I've gotten a little
too focused on the knives. Maybe I need to try
to resolve conflict without them. So we see,
do you guys get dinner together or do you part
ways? So do you get free pizza at the screaming
slice? All right, come on Ronka, I'll take you
over there. Let's get some food. Ah, beautiful
little end cap, two silhouettes on the roof,
big slice of mushroom pizza, delicious. Ooh,
so good. Okay, so at this juncture, we still
have three people. I'll go, because I have two
things to do. I always appreciate when Devin
leans into the mic as if he's ready to deploy
something. He's just like, hello. I'm here. All
right, hit me. All right. Tank is going to meet
up with Yanouche, but unbeknownst to Yanouche.
This is not just meeting for drinks. This is...
the boys night auditions that tank has been advertising
he's been hanging up the the the posters that
look like ransom notes like chopped up letters
from magazines yeah yeah exactly so where are
these auditions held they are in a bar okay okay
and the name of that bar is the closure it's
in the closure Is that good? Everyone loves it
when you do improv and then you end it with,
is that good? Do we like that? Do we enjoy it?
Do you get it? Wow. Wow. I just thought it was
funny that he would be holding an open audition
in a bar that has other patrons. That's beautiful.
Okay. I would love to see some other patrons
leaning into this encounter. No, no. I don't
think we need other patrons. All right, Tank.
That's just background noise. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, so it's Yanush's rare night off. He walks
into the closure where you told him to meet him,
looking exactly the same as he always does when
he's working, which is to say, extremely crisp,
tidy uniform from like 60 years ago. 60, 70 year
old uniform, looks brand new, put together, tight.
Walks in, looks at you, kind of does like a helpless
shrug, like. Tank goes to dab him up and fucks
it up again. I think he just stands there, like
he doesn't even try. Okay, yeah, cool. Sit now?
Yeah, let's sit. I got a table in the back. All
right, all right. It follows you into the back.
What is waiting in the back? It's not like a
back room or anything. It's just like the corner
of the bar. But it's definitely way bigger than
necessary for two people. It's like it's that
thing in the corner where Yanoosh looks at the
situation and slides all the way to the corner
of the corner like all the way in the middle
and so just has to like squeak through this booth.
Well tank is tank is also gonna squeeze in Get
real real close Yanoosh looks at you. All right,
Yanoosh I'm glad we can hang out and I thought
it would be like a really good time to kind of
expand our social circle Our social - Yeah, yeah,
you know, yeah, since we're like - I thought
you were firing me. I'm gonna be so clear with
you, I thought that you were firing me. You think
- you think I have, like, any responsibility?
No, I think that Halberd, like, hires people
to do stuff she doesn't want to do. Oh, actually,
you know what? I think I did fire someone three
weeks ago. Now that you mention it - Smash cut
to that encounter! No, my children! I have to
support my fam - No, no, no. Halbert said you
just like shouldn't come back for a while. We
smashed that button. Amazing you knew she was
looking at you. No, no, no, no. This has nothing
to do with Screaming Slice. You know, I just
thought like since we're like kind of boys now
that we would expand our reach. I kind of like
been hanging flyers around town and we got some
Some people wind up and Tank pulls out a stack
of headshots. They're all like crisp glossy photos
for no reason. Wow. Yeah, yeah. Oh wait, I think
this is the first guy now. Okay, so we're just
gonna like kind of interview them and see if
they can like hang with our crew, you know, if
the vibes are right. Is the crew you and me?
That's the crew? The crew is you and me, yes.
They're here, okay. All right, Kip Bocifus, it
says here that your likes are Junkie Western
music and Cobbless corn and your dislikes are...
young people and change. Yeah, that's accurate.
Yeah. Yeah, so I like cobbler's corn because,
you know, I don't need to use my hands. I can
use a fork or just, you know, just tip the plate
up into my face. And, you know, I just prefer
that because I like holding things really so.
But it was it was my understanding that like
the custom is to eat cobbler's corn out of your
hands like your hands are the bowl. Yeah, yeah,
I just can't fit that much corn in my hands,
so... Well, you said you don't like change, so...
Yeah, I don't like... So I like to eat it off
a plate, or a bowl, so I can properly get enough.
If I'm gonna eat Kava's corn, I'm gonna eat a
whole quart of it. Okay, yeah, I can vibe with
that. So what made you interested in our crew?
Yeah, so, you know, I dislike change, but I...
I also kind of need something in my life right
now, because I just feel like - Wait, wait, wait.
You're a liar, dude. What? You said you disliked
change, but you needed a change. Yeah, I need
a change, obviously. I live alone with my tiny
fucking hands, and I just like - Wait, is that
why you have yet to show us your hands from behind
your back? This dude won't show us his hands.
I thought it was weird to sit into a booth with
your hands behind your back. Listen, I'm a little
- A little subconscious about it. All right,
we gotta see him. But my therapist told me I
gotta expose myself. Fine, okay. Expose yourself
and someone will feel the cracks. Love will feel
the cracks. Oh my god, those are the smallest
hands I've ever seen. All right, do we want a
small -handed liar? No. No. What? Next. Come
on, man. Next on our list is Butch Franch. They
like the farmers market and upcycling, which
if you ask me is You know the hipsters co -opting
what everyone on this planet does already And
their dislikes are wearing socks and oh This
this isn't good. They dislike tick ball Yeah,
what do you have to say for yourself About what
man? You're like tick ball. This guy loves tick
ball. Look at him Live and die for tick ball.
He lives and dies for ticks ball. I mean, I'm
kind of ambivalent myself wait Is this like about
going to a tick -ball game? I thought this was
about... No, this is about brotherhood and friendship
and being boys. For life. Yeah, like building
a community. Oh, for life? Yeah, right. I just,
um... I'm gonna be totally honest with you. You
got two strikes. There's only three, and you
really need to sell us hard. Three strikes? Is
that a tick -ball thing? He said tick -ball three
times now. Look, guy. What do you think you can
give the boys? And what do you think the boys
can give to you? Well, I got a real good sense
of community, but I could bring around my night
piglets sometime. You have a night piglet? Yeah,
if you don't mind having shit on your floors.
What do you mean? Are they known for shitting
frequently? I didn't know that. No, they're not.
Mine shits a lot. Like on my hands most of the
time. You're carrying it? When I need to move
it outside to shit, but then it just gets all
in my hands and then once I'm outside it doesn't.
Think I've heard enough from this guy. Yeah,
you're not gonna like oh Yeah, I'm trying to
win you over Okay, hold on to that. Let me reset
back to zero Just one good thing about yourself.
One good thing man. You can think one good thing
one good thing Last guy was a real dud and you're
you're tripping over the bar right now He's thinking
real hard. All right, get out of here I'm sorry.
I you know No, I mean Would be honest. Yeah,
these were the only three that that applied so
oh Shit, you're still sitting here. What's up?
I Just was I just hi I'm not around a lot of
a lot of boys. Is that yogurt? Is that yogurt
you're holding? Of course, it's yogurt. You basically
live off the stuff crying Yeah, um, I you guys
seem really cool and I just kind of came over
here and just sat down so I I kind of heard you
were doing like a boys night thing and I I kind
of want in Okay, what are some of your likes?
Oh, um, well, I like yogurt and I am you know,
I I I raised vertebrates and I don't really like
manja, but I do really love juice. Juice is good,
you know? That was a real plus and then a minus.
Yeah. Well, for me it was a... Wait a minute,
dude. Are we not aligned? Are we unaligned in
our values? I don't know. How do you feel about
juice? How do you feel about juice? It's like
kind of like used a lot in tickball for competitive
edge. Oh my god, you're a tickball player? Yeah.
I mean, I'm like working my way up. to the team,
but like, yeah, yeah. You're not on the team?
I guess I thought you were on the team. I mean,
I'm like in the reserves of the team, you know?
Like the farm team. Wow, you made it to the reserves?
No, it's not that cool. Put your mouth back open.
I mean, it's pretty cool. You can close your
mouth. It's fine. That's so cool. I want to see
your tongue do. You can maybe keep your mouth
like 50 % open. Why is your tongue so long, dude?
Do you know Ufa? Yeah, I know Ufa. Oh my god.
I don't like this guy's tongue. I don't know.
Sorry. That's just like my idol. I just wow I've
never really had the physical athletic system
for take ball, but I really really love the sport
That's something I could really get behind. What's
your name kid? Oh, sorry. My name is Craver How
old are you in this bar? Oh Wait a minute. Wait
a minute. Wait a minute. You aren't two kids
stacked. Are you I mean boys is plural you said
boys Yeah, we we can't be hanging around children.
Oh, yeah But with the trench coat on, they're
an adult. I'm losing the thread. Grever, are
you a man or are you two children? We need to
know. Tell us now. This is really, really a borderline
thing. I'm actually a man, yeah. I just was fucking
with you a little bit. Okay, okay. So if we open
up that trench coat. We never will. We just never
will. If you open up the trench coat, you're
just gonna see my naked body, but that's a minus
sign. Oh, okay. Going commando, I see. Another
negative in the column, okay. Or positive? Actually,
I think it's... Honestly, didn't get that kind
of confidence from that kid, but, you know, chose...
Are we very different people, Tank? I'm getting
a very different... We need lots of different
types of people to round out our boys. We need
lots of boys, exactly. God I just find that you
know like if things start getting in his kerfuffle
I just like throw up my trench coat and run nobody
wants to chase after me again It's not weird
it's not weird It's not weird if he says it's
not weird long tongue in a trench coat. What's
what's weird about that I mean honestly better
than the last two better than the last two all
right you want to be boys. Oh my god really Welcome
to the boys. Oh name TBD. I'm so excited We try
to do the big, like, slam handshake, like in
the Commander... Or like Predator, the Predator.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Except we're trying to do a
three -way one. Like, weird slapping. All right,
we'll work on that. We'll work on it. We'll work
on it, yeah. I'm sure we'll figure it out, yeah.
Oh my gosh, you guys, I'm so excited. Damn. Wait,
is it Grever or Crever? No, it's grabber. I thought
it was trevor like like like like trevor but
with a g grabber I mean, it's close enough. It's
fine. Honestly, it's way nicer than the things
they called me in school. So What were those
things? Well, was it like grevver? Because that's
your name You seem like you don't like me that
much I'm gonna talk to tang. Okay. Hi Um, well,
yeah, they call me lots of names. They call me
yogurt boy. They called me Um, isn't isn't yogurt
kind of a status symbol? There's not a whole
lot of dairy here I mean, I make it myself, so.
Oh, yeah, I can see why they would make it myself.
And so we head away from the first of many successful
Boys Night outings. Yeah, where are we at on
the clock for Boys Night now after that? Yeah,
let's do a progress roll. Okay, I would give
that two ticks. I'm willing to just give that
a straight two. Okay. So that would be two out
of eight. Incredible. A really solid boys night,
I guess. I don't know. All right. Who would like
to go next? We have a Vakani, a Lottie, and a
second tank action. So for her second downtime
activity, Lottie's gonna work on improving relations
with the Big Tomato. And it didn't seem to go
all that well last time when... Lottie dropped
by and gave them a gift and The response to that
was them breaking into our basement Yeah, so
there's a restaurant very close to the screaming
slice called the Big Tomato It is run by a woman
named the Big Tomato and her henchperson the
Cumber We hate the Cumber we hate the Cumber
or do we do we know enough? about the enigma
that is the Cumber to truly hate them. The camera
smash cuts to huge silhouette, frightening, rotund,
immense. What's the word for like a stretched
out oval? You know what it looks like. It looks
like a fucking cucumber. It's like six feet tall,
big plastic costume, green. Inside of it, face
sticking out, arm sticking out, also green, scary.
Dead eyes. The, you know, the paint splashes
on the screen, the cummer. Yeah, Lottie, what
are you gonna do? So given how kind of poorly
her last attempts seem to go, I think Lottie
needs to know more about what's going on here,
and she actually wants to go talk to Halbert.
Okay! About the situation. So I think Lottie's
gonna catch Halbert, I guess when she's not busy,
you know, Lottie just wanna stress Halbert out,
wanna catch her when she's like... less stressed
out, less focused on work or something like that.
So I don't know, I guess the evening Lottie goes
up to Halbert and just says, Hey, um, Halbert,
can we talk about our neighbors? Yeah, so you
go in the back storeroom area and it really is
just the storeroom This is dry storage and at
the end of the night Halberd takes her hammock
and clips it up to both sides of storage and
just hops on in So she is in there with a little
tiny book. She shuts it when she sees you come
and she's like, oh sup Lottie Neighbors you mean
the big yeah those neighbors. Yeah, what about
them? Look, I've been trying to respect your
your privacy and all good respect is important.
Yeah Look, I went over there recently, gave him
a little gift, just try to, you know, smooth
things out a bit, because it doesn't seem like
it's been great between us. And well, you know
what happened recently. Yeah, that's that was
their answer to that. I've been here a while
and it doesn't seem I've never seen two restaurants
so at odds with one another. Would it be too
much for me to ask what went down between you
two? It would be too much. And I'll tell you
why, because this incident devastated me. It
was foundational. And I don't want to talk about
it, even though I've known her for maybe 20 plus
years. Um, she was one of my closest friends.
This is the big tomato, of course. I'm not going
to talk about it. Things change, relationships
change. Uh, people change. Uh, she's sort of,
uh, turning red a little bit. It's okay, Howard.
You don't need to tell me anything you don't
want to. I'm not going to tell you anything.
Um, it's just, it's starting to kind of become
a little bit of our business too, because they're
breaking into the building um well yeah but that's
fine because i'm breaking into their building
your what oh yeah what yeah where do you think
we get our tubers dude i mean yeah i go over
there like twice a week so how do they break
into here often too i mean i assume i don't know
what do you think left that gunk snake uh smash
cut to endless playing with goliath upstairs
The camera zooms into Goliath's eyes. There's
like, oh my God. Wait, there's a color in there.
Is it the red of a tomato? Oh, zoom out. Yeah,
so I mean like that's kind of how it is. It's
like, you know, like fair is fair. Like, you
know, like I steal from them. They hurt me. I
cheat on her. She hurts me. You know, things
of this nature. Restaurant stuff. Strictly professional.
Well, that's definitely restaurant stuff. Do
you want to steal some tomatoes later? Halbert,
maybe we can try to stop doing that to them and
figure out a different solution. It's just they
fucked up my garden. Halbert takes this seriously.
Yeah, Halbert considers this. What is your goal
in this? Are you trying to roll on Halbert or
are you trying to? The original goal Lottie was
trying to get in kind of just. Like a fair amount
of information not like pride too hard in Halbert's
life, but just something to work with because
She didn't get a lot out of the last time she
met The camera smashes back to the cumber the
cumber is looking right at the camera and they
go cumber You know Halbert why don't we start
with somewhere that's not quite so difficult
Let's not talk so much about the big tomato.
That's but what do you what do you know about
the cumber? You know, Lottie, I'm not afraid
of many things. That thing, that thing scares
me. The camera that says, like, the 2001 in Space
Odyssey, like, waaaaaah, which is super close
on the cumber's, like, dead eyes, yeah. What
did he do? Like, I know he looks a little, more
than a little scary, but they're just a guy,
aren't they? Howard looks into the middle distance,
Breeze blowing through her hair, indoors, inexplicable.
She doesn't have hair, she's bald, anyway. Yeah,
she has a buzz cut, I don't know if I've mentioned
that, she's real short hair. Breeze flowing through
her buzz cut, unnoticeable, the hair's too short.
You know, legend has it that when someone loves
a vegetable, truly and deeply, the vegetable
loves them back. The 2001 Space Odyssey sound
is playing again. I made that up, that was made
up, but sounded good, right? I don't know a goddamn
thing about the Cumber and I don't care to. Tell
you that much for free. Good to know. Look, I
need something to work with here. I'm trying
to smooth things out with them at least a little
bit before they burn the place down. Yeah, yeah.
You like this place down here? We can burn their
place down. I think that just leads to two burnt
pizza places. Okay, so is your ultimate goal,
you're just trying to roll on the clock of improve
relations, right? What I had in mind was that
if Lottie succeeded in learning more about the
situation, she would be closer to solving it.
I think I would let you roll on Halberd right
now and then that would tick your clock, even
without doing anything to the other restaurant.
Yeah, that was kind of my idea. Yeah, so do you
want to roll something on here right now? Yeah.
I mean, you know that I want to use charm. I'm
trying to win her over and get her to trust me,
but I am also kind of trying to persuade her,
so. I would say because this is like an emotional
argument, it's more charm than persuade. Is that
the one you're better at? Yes, that is the one
I'm better at. I agree, because, you know, when
you're charming somebody, it's like a little
bit like you're just kind of coaxing information
out versus persuading you're like wanting them
to do something specific. Okay, so this is two
segments on your clock and Helmer looks at you
and kind of softens and She's like, you know
that the nice thing about the big tomato is that
we're equals and that's kind of like having a
sparring partner, you know, so yeah, I steal
from her and yeah, she Breaks down our wall.
And yeah, like that's how it is. But you know,
it's kind of kind of keeps you sharp, right?
So She's looking for a chew toy. That's all I
know. All right. Well, thanks for trusting me
with that, Halbert. If you're all right with
it, I can try to work with that. All right. Hope
you kill her with a knife. I don't know. I don't
care. Who cares? She tries to turn over in her
hammock. It flips over. Fuck! Lottie offers to
help her up, probably gets protected, and then
leaves. Good use of return. Cool. All right.
Connie, I think it has to be you, unfortunately.
Uh, yeah. I'm going to try to recover from my
injury from before. Nice. What are you recovering
on? Uh, I am concussed. Oh, I forgot about that.
I forgot about that one. Yeah, because that's
a health clock. I do need someone to help me.
Yeah. Who are you going to talk to? I don't know.
Who wants to help? Tank emerges with a nurse's
outfit. The nurse's outfit returns from heaven.
Tank, you have been recently boyed. You are glowing
with boy energy. Colleen, I'm going to be real
with you. Today has been pretty sick. So I'm
looking to keep that rolling. Yes. What's going
on? No, I just... A lot of head pain. I'm sure
something you're used to. It just got, you know,
really beaten up during both those encounters.
Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. Yeah, what do you
usually do to recover? I go to sleep immediately.
Just as soon as possible. And I just kind of
like lay down until it stops hurting. But I know
that's not for everyone. What we're going to
need to do. There's a thing we do on the Fresco
fuzz. when one of us gets a concussion we're
gonna have to sing the special concussion song
i okay if it works we have i'm willing to try
all right it's in the key of c i'm gonna count
you in a one a two Concussions! Concussions!
Concussions! We don't like the... This is horrible
audio! No, I think it's good actually. You gotta
sing with me! Okay? Okay, from the top. Ready?
Concussions! Concussions! We don't like the...
Concussions! Concussions! We go away! Concussions!
Concussions! We... Don't mind them. I do mind
them. The song isn't working. Okay, okay. Concussion's
gone today. There we go! Yanoosh knows it. No,
I don't. I don't care. Whatever. Tickles dumb.
Uh, Connie, you're more stressed than you've
ever been in your life. But, weirdly, your head
does feel a little bit better. Yeah, I guess
you don't really need to roll, but if I clear
this up now sure would you roll for me? Yeah,
yeah, what do I roll? We have a beautiful moment
of unity here you're singing the concussion song
yeah what does it look like the threads pull
tight the weave is beautiful it's it is weird
because it is similar to that it's just a weird
song uh but But the picture I have is that we're
probably outside of the restaurant and Tank is
just like looming over me while I'm like concussion.
Sing the song. Nurse outfit covered in mud. And
somehow just the sheer stress of this works.
Amazing. Connie? You know when you've been running
for your life and you get that burst of adrenaline
and you're like, I'm really alive right now,
you know? You're like, damn, I'm alive as hell.
And you clear your concussion. Nice job. Tank.
Nice. Yeah. Tank pats himself on the back. Nice,
nice, nice. And then he disappears. Just into
mist. Still wearing that little nurse's outfit.
We never see him change into it or out of it.
It's like a Sailor Moon transformation. It just
happens just off -camera. All right, Tank, you
got one more downtime action. All right. Well,
I have to use this to get rid of some stress.
I just wrote down Streis. Do you want to deal
with your Streis? Do you want to take the two
off for free, or do you want to roll and live
dangerously? I'm going to live dangerously, baby.
Incredible. Alright, so this is your worst attribute
I should have taken the two. It's just a one.
Oh shit. Wait. No, that's actually okay, right?
Isn't it only if you roll over? Yeah, but it's
less than what I could have gotten How many stress
do you have right now? Five. Well, we've got
some coin in the mix if you wanted to really
go for it Yeah, okay. What does it look like
when you try to relax and it doesn't go that
well? Tank is you know, he's trying out the stoicism
thing and Trying to meditate right and he just
doesn't get it and the thoughts start creeping
in it's like, you know when you think back to
those moments and it's like I totally missed
that dab Both of your missed dabs like in slow
-mo from like different angles It's just tearing
me up inside. That's all I can think about. The
way Shahadi looked at you just like so grim so
tired and you're like Yeah, it's rough. It's
rough. And the meditation doesn't really work.
Yeah, you were on top of a pole in the middle
of a lake and it looked really good, but it just
like didn't work out. I don't know. Anywho, great.
Okay, a great use of a turn. No notes. Would
anyone like to do anything? We have three coins
in the mix. I know we're reserving one. We have
this meat and it's gonna spoil because we don't
have a refrigerator. The screaming slice does,
but we weren't traveling with it. I think I have
four ounces of uh like the the really tender
cut that they gave us one ounce went directly
to tank I assume they gave it to us in some kind
of box right like probably I don't know probably
I mean like they're just very put together so
it makes sense they'd be like oh well it's meat
we've got to wrap it you know it was brown paper
yes it was beautiful butcher's paper new incredible
okay we can use this yeah that's not safe but
but that's not my mind is not on food health
and safety, but I think keeping it as well wrapped
in the butcher paper as I can. I walk up to Halberg.
She's probably getting ready to go to bed in
the dry storage. Tell you what, actually, you
look for Halberg. It's the end of the day. She's
not there. She is not in the building. You look
in the dry closet where she typically hangs up
her hammock. The hammock is also gone. And you
wander around, you see Yanouche doing the closing
stuff and he goes... You looking for Halbert?
Yeah. Is she not here today? Oh yeah, she's out
of town. Uh, she said she'd be back in a little
bit. Out of town? She didn't tell me anything.
Why is she gone? I don't know. I just work here.
Fine. Um, do you know, would Petra know? Did
she tell anyone what she was doing? No. I don't
know. Okay. Well, I am gonna use some of our
fridge space. It's important. Really? You knew
she looks at you with a hard look in his eye.
Trust me, this - It's very valuable ingredients.
We need fridge space for this one. I have the
fridge space very meticulously laid out, okay?
Uh, you open the fridge. It has, like, masking
tape squares that are, like, perfectly... He's
like, I just want you to be cognizant of what
you are doing to me. I feel like it can be forgiven
considering that I have beef. Real... Don't tell
me that. Don't tell me that. I'll eat it. It's
not beef. Is it? Well, don't eat it. Now I regret
telling you. Fuck. Listen, if it disappears,
now I know who to blame. So I'm going to leave
a note on this and it better be there when Halbert
gets back. Janouche looks at you, pained expression.
He now has a status effect called notice there's
beef in the fridge oh do you want to roll i could
sure go for it do do a relatively risk -free
command roll yes this is very low risk but yeah
and i said hey i shouldn't like call to roll
myself uh you know she looks at you nods that's
probably fine you feel pretty good about it oh
god uh yeah i i do leave a uh a handwritten note
with it Almost like a thank you note. It's a
little bit sappy. Like, hey, you've done so much
for me, Halvard. Here is, like, I can't pay you
back, but here's something I did to hopefully
display my gratitude. If anyone eats this and
there's butcher paper missing, it was Yanouche.
Incredible. Okay, great job. All right. All right.
We're seeing this final scene of Tank relaxing,
thinking his thoughts. We're seeing, you know,
Lottie... in her greenhouse. We're seeing people
going to sleep at night. We're seeing, you know,
the tents getting zipped up. We're seeing the
masks staying on. We're hearing radio noise.
We're hearing radio static. We hear a song fading
out. It's sweet and it's low. It's been about
three days and Volper Tinger asked me to put
out the word. If you're round about Shelter Mountain,
the Big Pig or Tezcal, keep a weather eye out.
Now we all know things happen in these ways.
For the sake of those who called him friend,
let's come together now. If you're looking to
help, call Tower Pony on breaker eight. The Weathermen
are keeping up the search as long as they can
and as we know the shit don't stop drippin'.
We gotta move. Let's give our men ready the dignity
of one whole story, okay? beginning, middle,
and end. And the camera cuts, and we see the
wastes at night time, all hard edges and glinting
metal. Infinite blackness overhead, dazzling
stars, and we're in the remains of a massive
building. It's been blown open, it's scorched
at the edges, twisted rebar and walls at arcane
angles. The camera's real low to the ground,
and we see a pair of cowboy boots, walking slow
and steady. Tough, well -worn boots, tidy blue
jeans. This man is in no hurry at all. We watch
these boots as they walk up to a lump on the
ground, pause, and then carefully push it over
with one toe. We see that the lump is a human
body, gut shot, mangled. It's a few days old,
stiff and strange and bug -encrusted. Reddy always
wore a bunch of silk scarves on every limb, those
fine silk clothes. He did it when he was ranging
so people could see him because he always said,
visible means safe. They're fanning out around
him now. Tangled bright colors black with blood
The camera pulls out and the guy steps back.
He's in his 40s or 50s Scruffy beard thinning
brown mullet jeans in a tank top. He's wearing
no mask at all He's smoking an e -cigarette looking
down at this body Tilted over one shoulder. He's
got this huge black machine gun. It's like water
-cooled parts of it are glowing purple It's got
this crazy holographic sight glinting gold on
one end. It looks insane At a few paces away,
we see a person in all khaki, the gadget on their
wrists projecting a keyboard into midair, and
they're typing on it with their other hand, unfamiliar
symbols. They speak without looking up. You know,
if you left the body somewhere obvious, they'd
stop looking. They can't afford to care forever.
They will, if you just keep shooting anyone who
gets within a mile of the site. Oh, man. He kneels
down to the body, reaches out with one hand straight
into the center of the torso, where the body
turns into gray meat. He flexes his hand, fishin'.
He's trying to find Reddy's heart. That's what's
so nice about this place. Nobody remembers. Nobody
stays. He smiles. Just at me, of course. He pulls
back, he shakes his hand off. There's viscera
drippin' down. I thought we could hit a few more
sites before sunrise. Yeah, you got it. He stands
up, pulls back, and kicks. Full force. For the
first time, we see a faint shimmer around Trent
Dort. And dead bodies are heavy, but the mortal
remains of Reddy LaRue are just blasted across
the ground, skidding, smashing into the rubble
and dust. And he lands a few feet away from this
dark spot on the ground. The camera pulls back,
and we see that this dark spot is a hole. Maybe
five feet wide, perfectly circular, right down
into the rock. Drill hole. Big, big drill hole.
Trent walks up, see the body where it landed,
looks down, kicks it into the hole. It falls
hard and heavy. We are listening. We hear wind
through metal. We hear the call of a jailbird
many miles away. We do not hear the body land.
You're listening to a Hypergallant production.
If you like what you heard, please leave us a
rate and review. Check out our website on hypergallant
.com. Thank you to The Dren, The Surfs, Crime
of Passing, Herbert's Again, and our very own
Rabbit Sullivan for the use of their music. Thank
you to Morgan Davey, Malcolm Craig, and Gregor
Hutton for the use of their game A -Stage.