Trash Planet contains themes of desperation and
poverty. We portray a comedic absurd and violent
world. For a full list of content warnings, please
see the episode description. read our heroes
back in the action and da -da -da -da -da -da,
the camera's zooming, we're whooshing, it's exciting,
the smash cuts, the colors, it's like an experimental
French movie, you're like, ooh, ooh, high production
value, bam, we see absolute whiteness. it is
scorching infinite light and heat and the camera
pulls down and we see it's a midday sun over
scorching battered glinting planes of trash planet
and the sun is burning away the juice mists sending
shards of light glinting on all this trash it
is a beautiful day y 'all are sweaty because
you kicked some ass Can I get a status check?
You are on the back of your newly stolen skimmer.
You are zooming. You are whooshing. There is
a powerful rumbling underneath you. You feel
it in your stomach and your throat. It feels
cool. It feels sexy. But less sexy is the sound
of what is like... 20 yards behind you which
is a big fucking metal thing attached by a cable
which is like bouncing and clanging and dragging
off of every object and yeah that's the pod that's
the meat pod that you've successfully recovered
um yeah what's your vibe what's this situation
well uh tank is high off of his uh not his kills
but his uh his his act of heroism uh and yeah
he he stinks but he doesn't know it he's nose
blind already This is fun that this juice burn
is more a punishment for other people. Yeah yeah
he's just uh straight golden retriever mode.
He's loving life. Yeah but in the sun that's
beautiful man. At the moment Connie is uh probably
like trying to hide his top of his head that's
glowing now under some of like the the robe a
little bit, but at the same time has unyielding
curiosity about what's in the pod. Whatever it
is is going kong! Like horrible horrible noises
a lot of you is probably just driving the skimmer
focusing on it feels a little weird her and she
has to focus more on it partially because She
is used to driving the one that's like all janky
and messed up and the other part of it Is that
her free hand is currently just holding on to
a stuffed animal that she's munching on thanks
to her juice burn So yeah, she kept a teddy bear
from earlier. Oh, she says it's only got one
arm left now. She's just munching away on that.
That's beautiful What kind of energy would you
say is coming off this skimmer? Like, what's
your vibe on it? A little too clean. Ooh. Lottie
wishes that it had more dents and stuff like
that. Right now, she... Doesn't want to do the
thing that makes the first dent or anything like
that. Oh scary. Yeah Incredible Wow, you feel
the energy you feel that tension of a pristine
thing about to be ruined. Maybe hmm themes I'm
looking into the camera. All right What's your
vibe? Is hanging out the back a little shell
-shocked from the whole interaction and definitely
Concocting her next for her next art installation
Have you seen Tank fight before? No. And I think
that's shocking to her in a lot of ways, but
she's impressed. Tank, that was, like, hella
impressive. I think I might be a war god. I don't
know if I'd go that far, but you were an animal
out there. Yeah, that's... Well, think about
it this way. The invisible string trick that
we did, who's to say that it did not spawn a
string because it did stop them? Is that not
a thread in its own way? No, no, man, it's just
a string. Kai is like radiant at this idea. He's
just like, oh, did we not in our own way make
a string? I still can't believe that worked.
All right, so up ahead you see the immense blue
shards that shelter the city of Fresco. You're
maybe 15 minutes away from town. Your heart is
pounding, the wind's in your hair. Like I said,
it's midday. This all just kind of took up a
morning. What are you gonna do? Like, the adrenaline's
rushing off. You're whooshing over the trash
fields. You just stole a lot of heat. What's
the move? Where are you headed? Place we have
the most protection is still back at the screaming
slice. We don't have another. Yeah, I don't think
we have anywhere else. What do you think you
guys would be saying to each other about? So,
you know, I'm not the most privy to all the plans.
I kind of show up and then you guys kind of just
tell me what we're doing. So what are we doing
with this? What was the plan the whole time?
I just kind of came along. Fresh ingredients.
I mean. Fresh ingredients that's like finding
a unicorn in the desert. Yeah, but like these
seem really really valuable We're not just gonna
like put them on pizza. Are we cuz that would
be sick and I would eat it I'd like to think
that that's up to Halbert because we can we can
bring them back and see if Pizza is the plate.
We don't even know what's in this thing. I'd
love to see it first But anyway, we can put it
on pizza, but it could also give us An avenue
for some money. I mean we could also take it
to tender mercy and sell it to them That was
the first customer wasn't it? Yes, that was the
original customer, but then we're holding their
meat for ransom The camera flashes over to the
Tender Mercy Steakhouse, which is known to all
of you, but none of you have ever set foot inside.
This is in the chips. This is in the heart of
the city. The camera pans over this incredible,
dark, neon -lit building. The angles are cool
and sexy. There's cool people in tight dresses
standing around, smoking long cigarettes with
pink smoke. There's a saxophone, but it's a mean
saxophone. You know what I'm saying? And the
smell... come out of this place is ooh it's great
it's like meat and sex and neon and grime and
you're like oh and then the camera smashes back
and there's a bunch of sweaty people on the skimmer
and you're like ha yep that's a good restaurant
they own this right yes They technically, I believe,
they probably already paid for it, and basically
we'd be going there saying, we hurt your delivery
people, and now we're delivering this, so please
give us more money. Well, didn't they kind of
like fuck up? Maybe that wasn't the most well
thought out plan. No, no, no. That's a good point.
This could be a new employment opportunity for
us. yeah we could we could pitch ourselves to
be like the new giddy girls the fact that we
outdid them and i'm sure we cost a lot less than
they do i don't know a ton about business but
i i don't think we should undercut ourselves
before before we go into a negotiation tanks
got a point we already know how much but we don't
know how much they're willing to pay we just
know they're willing to pay i love the idea of
hostage negotiating though and being like And
I'm cheap as fuck. You don't have to give me
nothing. Whatever you guys are paying the other
group will take less than half. Also love the
idea that takes like business savvy. So you guys
are whooshin' in close to the city. There's eyes
on you. As you're on approach, you're dragging
a big metal thing into town, which is not super
unusual, but people are gonna see you here. Are
you making any moves to hide your situation,
or are you just like, fuck it, let's ball? We're
out of danger now. Should we just load it up?
I feel like that's probably the best call. Why
didn't we do that earlier? We were in a hurry.
The giddy girls were like crawling towards you
in a snail's pace. You're like, oh About that
weird like checker box cube head person like,
you know, yeah The the doinks burgery after us
as well. Oh the camera smashes burgers. Oh great
burgers. It's true. The camera smashes back to
Back in the plains a hole deep covered with invisible
string. We see a figure in a very cool checkerboard
mask reaching down in the hole and pulling out
the body of a tiny little vertebeast that got
smacked when the cable broke. She's wearing a
mask so you can't see her face, but she's looking
into the camera. Cut back! Y 'all are happy.
Y 'all don't know that. Anyhoodle. Uh, yeah.
Just some casual dead animals. A fond pet of
a character we have yet to meet. Dying in their
arms. Do you stop to pull the crate in? I think
so, yeah. And while that's happening, I'd also
like to see if we can open it. If we can open
it, not necessarily wanting to open it at this
moment. Sure, yeah. Okay, so y 'all get out.
You are painfully crawling around on this awful
sliding landscape, and Liz is a little more sure
-footed than the rest of y 'all. This thing is
so heavy. It's very, very heavy. It's good to
have a skimmer working with it. It would probably
take all of you just to lift it, get it on the
skimmer. And as you do, you see that very beautiful,
very slick design. It looks designed as hell.
This is... Gorgeous. It looks like the original
Alien movie, you know the production design on
there. Oh Delicious you just want to eat the
shapes the Nostromo the Nostromo But this thing
is pretty like it's been through orbit recently
It's also been very cracked and dinged from its
recent experience being dragged away at like
20 miles an hour And you see that it has on it
a digital lock. So electronic lock it wants a
password. It looks like six digits that this
in itself you're like oh shit like even the pod
itself is gonna be sellable like you're like
oh tank tank is just gonna try code oh wow what
numbers do you choose six digits six digits let's
see um eight zero zero eight s five five It cracks
open. Amazing. It just, you know, dings at you.
No, no dice. Shoot, I thought that would work.
You think there's three O's? I mean zeroes. It's
not, it's just numbers. I promise. If you try
it with a two, that makes it a Z. Try that. Oh,
nice. Nice. Okay. Wait, wait, hold on. I still
have a conundrum. Two S's or two O's? Three O's.
I don't care. That was not a serious suggestion.
Okay, three O's. Eight, zero, zero, zero, eight,
two. No, no dice. Oh, man. Thought you were on
to something. Ava jumps ahead and does one, two,
three, four, five, six. Hey, that's the code
in my luggage. Amazing. Super secure. Yes. Well,
we can keep trying patterns or we can wait until
it comes to me. Everyone just looks at Connie
like, hmm. Comes to you through the threads?
Yeah, of course. I mean, that could take anywhere
from five minutes to two million years. Wait,
wait, wait. Do numbers just come to you sometimes?
Mm -hmm. Are they ever useful? Rarely. I just
see a number in my head and I know it's important
or it will be important or it was important at
some point in the past. Guys, guys, guys. I think
we need to keep an eye on him. Tank's got the
rest of y 'all in a huddle. She's like, really
obvious. Time out, time out. So, y 'all are zippin'
and slidin' right up into the screamin' slice.
Uh, Lottie feels pretty good to come in on a
better skimmer than you left with. Kind of a
rare feeling in life, you know? Um, this thing's
purring like a kitten. It's beautiful. Good piece
of machinery. Um, you come into the screamin'
slice, Halberd, uh, is in the middle of the rush.
We've got Petra, other line cook, working with
her. Um, we've got Janouche, the ghost, who's
in the back choppin' up stuff. And everyone kind
of, like, grunts at you as you walk in. Like,
nobody's s - super impressed that you left or
returned. Yeah, it's midday, lunch rush. All
right, and now we go into, this is specific to
the game of A -State. This is maintaining our
corner, maintaining our crew, just keeping up
with the world around us. So we're gonna talk
about hope and resource gains. Do you feel like
you have gained some hope or a resource, like
some morale or some resource from this mission?
I mean, there's clearly a pod full of a resource,
at least. Okay, I'm hearing an argument for plus
one resource. Anybody else want to...? We do
have a new vehicle. Upgraded skimmer. That is
resource. That is resource. Would you say this
experience has inspired a lot of joy and camaraderie
and how smoothly it went? Absolutely. And watching
Tank just DOMINATE the kitty girls is pretty
fucking cool too. We cut back to a cool slow
motion of Tank just like, you know, a cool punch
sound. Yeah. Yeah, that was the coolest punch
sound I ever had. Thank you. We'll fix it in
post. We'll fix the whole thing in post. That'd
be great. Alright, I'm willing to give you plus
one resource and plus one morale out of this
one, because I think it went super well. Y 'all
went great. In terms of, now, A -State has a
thing called noise. This is kind of how big and
uncontrolled your job was. Like it could range
from very stealth and nobody knows it was you
doing the dirty thing to extremely crazy and
attention -grabbing. Where do you feel that this
fell? I think we made some noise. An extreme
amount of noise. I wouldn't say, I don't know
if it was the highest level. because it was very
targeted so it wasn't like you know it wasn't
like getting into a fight in a town square i
mean it was also out in like a remote location
so it's mostly just like two groups that are
now mad at us the thought occurs that This is
a big distinctive skimmer. And you just drove,
like, people would have seen the gatekeeper.
We just drove into town with a shiny pod. I am
going to argue, so the scale is zero to six.
I'm going to argue this was maybe a five. Four
or five. What do you feel is fair? I think the
driving through town definitely bumps me. Yeah.
So we've maxed out our noise level. What does
that mean? OK. Oh, no. All right. So we are now
gone plus one. You can zero it. It has been zeroed.
We are plus one in attention, which is something
for me to. know that relates to how people relate
to you guys. So, all right. We are crashing in
the back room at the Screamin' Slice. The Screamin'
Slice, if I didn't say before, is our beautiful
mushroom restaurant. It is shaped like a big
triangle. It's got one pole leaning it upright.
great, it's janky, it's noisy, and it's the lunch
rush. You guys are in the back room, you got
the skimmer just like crowded up against the
door, like I don't think there's like a place
for a skimmer to rest, so you know, you just
sort of like crunched it into the ground outside
the door, and the pod is out there, and you guys
made it. You made it all the way out, and you
made it all the way back, and let your feet touch
the ground. You're safe, man, the chips are protecting
you. I think we can't open this pod yet, so we
have to hide it, right? I mean, yeah, I guess
that's the best option. Well, I normally would
say the basement, but we have a giant tunnel
in the basement right now. We flashback because
that was off air to a previous adventure. We
played a little bit of this game before we got
on mic where we discovered that the tunnel underneath
our restaurant was collapsing. So that's a problem.
But yeah, anyway, we flashback to the present
moment. What would your characters do? Would
you try to like hold on to it for what or would
you just try to immediately sell it or I think
Aren't we trying to get the Tender Mercies business?
It could be their new delivery crew. I'm not
against that. What exactly would our new demands
be? What's our pitch? I'm a little scared to
go up there. I believe our demands would be to
to not kill us firstly, to not send any mercenary
groups after us. Number one that's a tall order
Probably some coin Okay, not a business guy But
I don't know if we could just steal their shit
and then try to sell it back to them We would
probably just have to negotiate for our services
of returning it and maybe like a contract for
employment Yeah, I think we sort of flip -flopped
positions for a second. Yeah, yeah, like just
not a business guy again Tank is holding a calculator
unclear why Like I just don't think is it's gonna
gel real well with them if we go in like hey
we stole your shit Give us money. That's that's
kind of just like ransom and extortion I don't
mind extorting, but yes, you're right. Well,
I don't either, but I think we need to settle
on extortion or employment. I don't know if we
could get away with both. That's a good point.
I lean more towards the employment side. I like
trying to make things as fair as possible. Yeah,
I don't know about you guys, but like I've been
working for Bone Meal, so... I know you guys
are all employed here, but I am not. Oh yeah,
I could always use a little bit more pocket money
for my projects. So it seems... Employment. Long
-term stability. Yeah, and not getting shot in
the fucking head. That seems like a great plan,
Tank. Although we do now have a turret. Oh, interesting
thing about the turret. Would one of you have
investigated the gun much as you were driving
out? No, I was just playing with it. You just
absorbed nothing. You didn't look at it. OK,
in that case, never mind, I guess. So it sounds
like you're looking for employment. um yes i
think the the play is to take this to tender
mercy tell them that we can do the job that they
were hiring the giddy girls for better get get
a much worse reputation with the giddy girls
than we already have but in in so doing uh get
a steady income from when their deliveries arrive
we have a kickass skimmer now we can do deliveries
for scream and slice too Alright, so you guys
are looking at the pod and you notice a little
temperature gauge and the number on it is non
-specific because that would mean me committing
to this universe using either Celsius or Fahrenheit,
which I refuse to do. I simply won't. Who measures
meat temperature in Kelvin? I wanna meet that
person. Isn't it like Kelvin zero? Isn't that
like the zero is zero? Yeah, okay, whatever.
But it's also just Celsius minus 273 degrees.
I don't know, we don't know. The camera kind
of blurs when we go over the number because I'm
refusing to do any world building on this. It's
a number where you're like, ah, this will last
about three days. So, all right, what are you
gonna do with it in the meantime? You just kind
of sling it in the shop. Yeah, I think it has
to go in the kitchen, right? We've got to hide
it somewhere. I mean, maybe we can clear out
one of these cabinets. There's not much in there
anyway except bone meal. You want some bone meal,
Tay? I would love some. There we go. We found
a place for the bone meal. We found a place for
the pod. Wow. Just like open up the cabinets
and kind of like move some shit out of the way
and like stuff it in there. I think one of the
cabinets was covered with a big cloth for a reason
that is unclear to you and so you like took it
all down and moved it all and you just sort of
like hooked the the tank up where the cabinet
was and so it's roughly the same size and shape
and you put the cloth back over and you're like
Okay If you'd like to make some kind of roll
about this you're welcome to I think this is
like I'm not I don't think we're trying to hide
it any more than this people aren't gonna come
investigating the kitchen of You know, I don't
think that it's too much risk here. It's also
padlocked already. That is true. So in that case,
tank heaves the... The thing back into position.
It is upright. You reset the blanket over top.
Tank, you take a big, dusty bite of bone meal.
How's it taste? Oh, it's great. I'm, like, dipping
my hand in the bone meal, and then licking it
off like it's, like, Fun Dip. Oh, wow. Huh. And
with that, on that beautiful moment, as you gaze
in happiness at your bag of powders, we cut into
downtime. So this is another, like, gameplay
phase. So we have mission phase. We have downtime
phase. This is downtime phase. So first off you're
gonna refresh your armor and your special armor
if you used it, then let's check in with our
personal agendas So every character has a little
thing they're working on if they work on it at
all. They get some XP Let's everyone say our
agenda and then if you'd like to change it or
set a new one This is a good time for that. Oh,
yeah mine was to recruit a new cohort I don't
remember if it was for a specific purpose or
not, but I think I am gonna change that Does
anyone else have a thing they'd like to do? In
the meantime, like, this is not a downtime action,
but just describe to me what it looks like as
you get home for the day, you know? Like you're
just like, ah, I was off doing shit and now I'm
back. I'm probably going to my rooftop tent,
which is my little home, and doing a lot of calming
and breathing exercises. trying to be more solitary
because that was a lot of violence and a lot
of action and we have a dangerous thing stashed
away like just a couple feet away so i want to
be uh at my best if anything is to happen what's
your feeling like as you're doing your calming
breathing exercises is it working or how's it
feel for you right now it is working but like
unlike usual my my hands aren't quite as steady
um And there's this constant, like, even when
my eyes are closed, I open them a little bit,
because every time I hear a skimmer, I think
they might be coming. Ooh. Anybody else? For
the evening, Lottie would normally probably take
a little bit of a break or a nap or something
like that, and then move on to working on her
side gig, like, preparing whatever orders she
knows she's going to have to fill the next day
or anything like that. But today, she's probably
not doing that, because right now, she is most
likely scraping All of the like burnt like ash
and scrap out of like the bottom of the pizza
oven into a container so that she can munch on
it because of her juice burn Incredible. I forgot
about that aspect of it. Halbert wanders by as
you're, you know, the oven almost never goes
off. They just keep it going. So it was kind
of an ordeal to even shut it down for a minute.
And Halbert is like, I really got to tell you,
I'm so impressed that you're taking the initiative
to clean. I mean, my God, nobody cleans around
here. Lottie, I just appreciate you so much.
Like you do so much for this place and for me.
So thank you so much. Hi, Halbert. Glad I could
help. Halberd looks at you and does not comment,
wanders away. Enla will be also kind of retreating
back into her space. And I imagine that she's
just very paranoid about what's going on because
her stress level is insane. So she's going to
be thinking about her next artistic or next artistic
endeavor to try to help escape that stress. You're
seeing a color. You're seeing and imagery. What
is like a thing that you're centering on for
your next art piece? Inla is centering around
the idea of waste and how much trash there is
on this planet. It feels so obvious and yet so
unexplored in the art world here. So we have
so many resources, but nothing new. It's needlessly
pedantic. No, it's good. If an artist was like,
have we really explored that the ocean is blue?
I'd be like, well, I guess we haven't, have we?
We've really explored the waste that we have
in a waste -filled planet. You get a lot of,
uh, yeah, no, it's good. It's good. I like that.
How about you, Tank? What are you up to? Tank
is in the corner. He's kind of cornered another
patron. Okay, so if you buy the tickets now,
all right, you'll get a better price than three
weeks from now when the season ticket price goes
up. Why would it go up? because it's an early
bird special so if if it's an early bird special
there's got to be a later ticket price that's
more to incentivize people to buy tickets early.
There's birds there! No well kind of it's an
it's an outdoor arena so birds are can be present.
I love the sky! Yeah and then then you can watch
the birds but also you can watch like this really
really great team. The squad we put together
this year is like, I think we're gonna go all
the way. Yeah, all the way to the sky! Yeah,
but in like a metaphorical sense, but like in
reality, like all the way to the championship
and win that shit, you know? Oh, I don't like
profanity. She walks away. The camera follows
her as she steps outside of the thingading through
the door, flaps her wings, she just flies away.
Or does she? I don't know, the camera cuts back.
Or does it? Anyway. All right, let's talk about
agendas. What are we thinking agenda -wise? Okay,
so I am changing mine from gain a new cohort
to, I think I would like to change it to, this
might be too on the nose, but like win a gamble.
Basically take a random chance on something important
Okay, I like that that doesn't feel too on the
nose. How does that tie into what just happened
to you? So you've got this glowing spot on your
head You've got this big success that you just
pulled off and at the same time it feels like
a razor wire like it feels thin and fraught and
like it could just cut right through your life
in a second like i don't know how does this tie
into the gamble you want to make yeah that's
fair um it's funny that you say razor wire because
i keep thinking about that moment and about how
that was one hell of a gamble that it was a make
or break situation right like looking forward
i think the the will of the universe is that
we make these big decisions just to see how they
pan out and that that if we do it right it'll
work in our favor You flash back to the teachings
of one of the elders at your temple. So the air
here is still and it's heavy. And there's a lot
of people breathing in sync together. So even
when you're not in the exercises, everyone naturally
knows to try to synchronize their breathing.
Everyone stands and sits in one motion. It makes
you feel like being part of an ocean wave. For
all that, like the power of it and the insignificance
and the importance that every little piece moving
together. How does this sit within that, that
you're like, and I'll make the move, I'll make
the call? Like you think, you feel that ocean
of like hands moving together, like this intricate
dance that you have trained since you were a
child, since you were a novice, and you think
about like, and I'll make the call, I'll make
the move, I'll make the gamble. How does that
sit with your history? It feels like it should
go against the teachings. When you make the first
move, People naturally will try to follow you
but once they realize that in the temple, once
they realize that you've deviated from the established
pattern, you'll probably get reprimanded. I think
they're wrong. I think that the universe requires
these big moves. It requires what we perceive
as unexpected. Alright, so the camera pulls out
on Connie. I'm picturing you flowing through
forms that are almost like Tai Chi. That's how
it looks. And you end up on this move that feels
like you're pulling something towards you. If
you close your eyes, you can almost feel it.
And it's something about... the way your eyes
are tickling like even with your eyes closed
they're just that little glint of light from
your own forehead and the juice burning your
skin was it a mistake or did you just win big
today and you reach out you pull it in camera
cuts all right who else has got an agenda what
are we doing tank's still trying to find boys
tank is trying to find boys oh man before before
tank goes home for the night he's gonna try to
uh strike up a conversation with uh yanesh Oh,
Janouche the Ghost? Janouche the Ghost. Okay.
So Janouche is in the back. He's doing like end
of shift. Typically it's Petra that opens and
it's Janouche that closes. So he's setting up
for tomorrow. He's, you know, pulling out big
vats of things. He's, you know, letting things
rehydrate overnight. And he is dressed in a very
crisp engineer's uniform from like 60 years ago.
It is instantly iconic. This is one of these
uniforms from one of the original founders of
Helica back when it was still a factory. back
when there were companies here and money to be
made, and not just people scrambling in the dirt.
And it is, you know, she's uniform is pristine.
And he just kind of, you know, looks at you as
you wander by. Yo, Ghostmeister. Ghostarino,
what's up, my man? Hello. Hey, you know, I was
wondering, like, you know, you and me, we're
always here at the scream and slice. It's true.
Yeah. And I was thinking, like, we don't know
each other that well. His mask is also an old
school engineer's mask. So it's very thick, gray
plastic. Kind of hard to see him through it.
Like, he kind of slowly swivels over to you and
you're getting a vibe off him. It's like, I don't
know. I was just thinking, like, I don't know.
Like, you seem like you got like a really cool
vibe. And I was wondering, you know, like, what's
your deal, man? You seem like real like put together
and hmm calbert panion bone meal yeah that's
cool she never gives me any bone meal man really
no like i i could share sure really yeah look
hold on i i i think i still got some left from
tonight you're just like your hand that you licked
it's just been like in and out of this bag all
loose bone meal in his pocket um yanush uh looks
over at you That's really sweet, man. I can tell
you got a genuine heart in there. Oh, thanks,
man. Yeah. Like, I'm getting the same vibe from
you. I feel like we're kind of like two kindred
spirits, you know? In what way? Like, you like
bone meal. I like bone meal. Maybe that is enough.
And then we just smash cut to what are you doing
with Yanouche later that night? Tank hasn't really
had, like, friends. So he kind of just like...
Tags along to you knew she's nightly routine
Three feet away from him. Well, you knew she's
going like yeah, so you got to fill it to this
line with oil Okay. Yeah. Yeah, and then you
add powder a and it's got a rehydrate overnight
Okay, okay rehydrate in the oil. Yeah. Oh cool.
It's not So literally you're just gonna let me
close the shop like normal you were like, oh,
let's be boys Let's be friends. Is this what
you want to do with your time? I have practice
tomorrow, so, like, I can't really do anything
tonight. This is devastating! But, like, you
know, maybe, like, my off days are, like, on
Sunday, so, like, maybe, like, Saturday night,
we could, like... That's, like, six days away
from now. Yeah, but, like, you gotta wait...
Do you wanna hang out in six days? Yeah, that's...
Isn't that what people do? They make plans in
the future? What are we gonna do in six days,
Tank? I don't know, what do you do for fun? What
do you do? I just work here. Yeah, but like people
hang out with their coworkers all the time. You
don't even work here. I work here. I can pay
the bone meal. I don't even have any bone meal.
You both had one stress. But you also, for some
reason, established trust with Yanush the ghost.
So the situation is like, OK, do you want to
hang out in six days? Six days, yeah, got it.
OK, and you have to know what we're going to
do by then. okay uh is there anything you like
to do i work okay so we'll do something that's
not that got it yeah okay just anything else
and it can't be your thing because you always
do that what like tick ball yeah but it's like
my off day so we'll just do something totally
normal that normal people do okay yeah okay um
yeah normal people normal people like like drugs
camera cut All right, so you have indeed added
one stress, and you have established a trust.
What a baffling connection you have made. I was
trying to suss him out. I was like, is he a drug
guy? Does he drink? OK, what is your agenda?
All that was an agenda. Yeah, yeah. The agenda
is hang out with your nurse. I mean, the agenda
is acquire boys for. for a boy's night okay but
this is like the first step because i've one
boy one boy potentially the counter over your
head goes ding one boy amazing all right who
else has an agenda thing they would like to do
mine was just to like try and find someone to
help out with the business so there was wasn't
really a lot of opportunity to do that in our
mission but the next one could be pretty good
Okay, I'm gonna keep it. So you're doing your
work in your caves and in your greenhouse What
kind of work would you like help with? Lottie
wants to stay at the streaming slice and working
on her garden all that stuff So the more she
can have somebody act kind of like as a courier
Slash like I don't know what I thought was someone
who also like gets the orders first So she doesn't
have to like go talk to people and be like, hey
Do you still need anything or meet them somewhere?
Cuz there's not like cell phones to coordinate
with our customers and stuff So it's a lot of
manual effort right now Ooh, I like that a lot.
Okay. So we have a brief montage of Lottie like
rushing around, talking to people, looking harried.
Like it's nighttime. You're tired. You just did
all this bullshit today. Yeah. Who are you talking
to when you're making your sale? An old man that
lives like down the block from the screaming
slice. And I just help him with like pain. Okay,
yeah. Thank you so much. It's good to see you.
Yeah, here you go. Hands you usual payment. Thank
you. So it'll be Same time next week probably
sure yeah, okay. I'll just oh I actually had
to pencil someone in that day. Do you have another?
Maybe that evening Well, I'm gonna be on this
porch no matter what you do to me. Let them all
come I'll be on this porch Lottie till the day
I die Well, hopefully I can keep that further
away. I'll be here next week This is just another
in, but you walk away from that interaction like,
I need to make this someone else's problem. Enla,
what do you think your agenda is going to be?
Well, my agenda previously was to find something
purple for my special armor. I still think I
want to try and find something for my next art
project, but I guess I would like to do some
of that in this downtime. Okay. Yeah. Can we
determine an agenda after downtime? Sure, I'm
cool with that. Yeah, we'll come back. I'll come
back to it then. Okay, perfect. And so now we
move into downtime. You know you have about three
days until your next mission, you know. So who
has a thing they would like to do tonight? I
think we're all de -stressing, right? Yes. Yeah,
you need it. Everybody here is pretty stressed
out. So we're gonna try to reduce stress. Sorry?
I don't have a lot of stress. Actually Lottie
is... I got a juice break. Moisturized, unbothered,
staying in her lane. Flourishing. Incredible.
That's good, yeah. Lottie just had a nice time
on a bike, you know? Everybody else was fighting
for their life, not Lottie. All right, who would
like to go first? Well, I mean, I know Enla's
project. Enla is piecing together her project
for her latest interactive art installation piece.
And to commentate on trash, she wants to make
people feel like they are the trash. So she wants
to put them into giant plastic bags. So it's
a trap system where people will walk across certain
and then it just like opens up and they fall
into a bag. Damn. I want people to really feel
the experience of my art. And I want their undivided
attention in that process. Incredible. Would
you like to? So you can either just take off.
Two off the top, I believe it is. Or you can
roll to try to get more off. So would you like
to? I'd like to roll to potentially get more,
because I've got quite a lot. Yes. Five. You
nailed it. So you take five off. Amazing. So
sweet. Yeah. Do you want to do an interaction
of my fucking piece? OK, let's briefly montage.
You guys have been caught. So describe to us
how this happens. We see three random passersby.
They're just on the streets of Fresco. They're
wandering around. They're doing about their life.
And then what happens, right? Then they step.
onto a loop trap, and it lifts them up into the
air, and then it will deposit them into a bag
where I then cut the strings so they fall into
the bag. Head first, of course. What's the ground
underneath this bag? Earth. I think it's foam.
I think it's just, you know, we got piles of
foam trash. I don't want to kill anybody. I want
you to feel what it's like to be part of the
trash. So then I take the three individual pieces,
three individual pieces of art and throw them
together into a pile of other trash that's part
of the waste. Incredible. You guys are experiencing
art right now. How's it going for you? Why are
you doing this? Are you kidnapping someone? No,
no, I need you to feel my art. I want you to
understand. I think she's kidnapping someone.
Yeah. Which one of us is valuable? I don't know.
I don't have any money. I don't have any money.
I also don't have any money. We don't have any
money. We don't have any money. I'm not trying
to steal from you. You won't get anything from
our families. Our families don't have any money.
No, not any. I'm divorced. I'm also divorced.
Wow. Wow. Three divorces here. Wow, you guys
are finding community within the trash? I really
don't like other divorced people. I know, you're
disgusting to me. Yeah, your failed marriage.
It reminds me of a pain that I don't like. I
know it intimately. We know the pain of a relationship
failing. Yeah, and this woman's tried to kidnap
people by throwing them in the bags. So you do
know what it's like to feel like trash already
because your marriages were thrown out like trash.
Oh my god. Oh my god. No, I left on my own accord.
Cut. Beautiful. I left on my own accord. Just
another successful art experience. This is the
weirdest worst artist ever, and that is the golden.
I think if this happened to me, I would think
about it a lot. Isn't that the goal of art, really?
Yeah. But I do love the idea that she's just
like, it's very like elementary level, like obsessive.
Amazing. Great job. Beautiful art. Man, life
is good. You have a big meat pod full of mysteries
and you have your incredible art career. Life's
going pretty well for Enla. Who would like to
go next? I'm just gonna indulge in a lot of gambling.
We cut over to you. Gambling. What does that
look like? Where are you at? We did say that
there was a game, right? There was a Fresco fuzz
game. I'm pretty sure I'm betting on the game
this time. Oh, hell yeah. Incredible. Okay. We
smash cut over to a screaming crowd of really,
really drunk and fucked up people. This is just
Substances Central. People are selling drugs
in the crowd like crazy. The field looks like
carnage. We see Ludanza, his hair waving in the
wind. Strong. Triumphant. There's like blood
coming down from a cut on his forehead, but it
just looks cool and sexy. It's like it's like
an aesthetic wound. And he raises his head and
he howls and the crowd howls back to him. Looks
really good. He's doing a great job. Yeah, where's
Tank in all this? Yeah, so Tank is just he's
on the sidelines. He's at the ready to to mop
up blood in case it gets, you know, too slippery.
And he's just waiting for his shot. He keeps
looking at the coach and he's like, put me in
coach. You're just radiating eagerness towards
this woman. Her name is UFO. She's over six feet
tall. She's huge. She looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger
in the 80s. She looks crazy. Just being around
her, you're just like, oh, the power, the power.
And she feels you radiating in her direction.
She just kind of looks over to you and she's
like, how's it going, tank? It's going I you
know, I think I made some serious strides. Yep,
and like I think in this preseason game Come
on. Come on Danza legs go for it. Okay. Yeah
Yeah, like, you know, it's a preseason game and
I really think you know, this could be my shot
like I did some sick stuff the other day like
it was pretty crazy and sick yeah, like I'm ready.
Hey, you want to go over there? She just kind
of points to the other side of the field. Yeah,
like I'll do I'll do whatever you need coach.
Yeah, you got to go over there now. Okay. Okay.
Yeah. I don't know why I saluted. I think people
do it sports. Okay. You just like pick your way
through the crowd or just like fighting past
drunk people. Do you enjoy the feeling at games?
Like this crowd is like nasty. It's a little
bit, it's like a Smash Mouth concert in here.
It's just a little bit drunk and mean. It feels
bad that I'm not out there. And the crowd noise
is kind of just like an amplifier. So like, If
I were on the field, it would be giving me adrenaline.
But being off the field, it just makes me feel
small. Yeah. You're in this mass of this thrashing
crowd. It's like hands reaching towards you,
bodies moving, screaming, just screaming. Just
a lot of people fucking screaming. You feel small.
And the crowd is screaming and thrashing. And
we see one very still spot in the crowd. How
are you doing, buddy? I am. Watching extremely
intently because I feel like I've placed a bunch
of crazy bets on random players from the other
team This is the gorgeous gunk snakes that the
fuzz is up against this time I did my bet is
that the fuzz will win but I think in terms of
tackles and broken bones, the two of the players
on the gunk snakes will sort of take the top
spots. Incredible. Okay. All right. You're watching
intently. Nothing else in your body is moving,
but your eyes darting around the crowd. That's
too stress out. I'm also willing to take that
to... How do you want to handle the... Let's
represent your bet in terms of another roll.
So you tell me a number one through six and you
got to roll that number to win your bet. Okay.
Uh, I'm going to say one because that's how I
roll. Let's do it. Yeah, there we go. That's
a five. Okay. So we're seeing coin change in
hands. We're seeing people, you know, placing
their bets and losing their money in real time.
Uh, how's it feel? You, you watch the game go,
you watch the game and you watch it all fucking
slip away. Another chance encounter gone awry.
How's it feel? It feels like shit, but seeing
the - game itself and being in that crowd is,
you know, distressing and de -stressing, not
distressing. Very fine distinction, yeah. Being
in that crowd is like a genuinely an enjoyable
experience. So I think I still lose some stress
from it, but didn't have the outcome that I was
hoping for. In a way, it's almost like being
back at the temple, like all these bodies moving.
I don't know. It's the inverse. It's strange.
Whenever they start a wave, it's just like, well,
this is a different context. but it's the same
thing. Amazing. All right. So you're de -stressing
a little bit. Lottie, what are you up to in your
downtime? For one of the things Lottie wants
to do, it's just going to be training the playbook.
Ooh. And we also have that upgrade that lets
it be two points instead of one. Hell yeah. That
would let me level up my playbook. Wow. OK. So
what are you gaining as a skill? And how are
you like, by what means did you gain this? I
know which one I want, but I'm not sure how Lottie
would have trained it. Like looking into a mirror,
you can always tell when someone is lying to
you. Oh. That's such a great move. That's a really
good move. OK. Also going to make life that much
harder for you as the DM, so enjoy. Yeah, it
is. Okay, I think we have a moment between you
and a customer, right? Or a customer tries to
lie to you. So you've got that customer that
you work with, and she owns a tea shop up near
the chips, which is a little bit more moneyed.
You know, as rich as anybody is on Trash Planet,
which is not very, but it's richer than you are.
So to you, this is money. And you are out at
this tea shop as you are sometimes. You like
to check in with your... Clients you're selling
your little puff balls and your little like sprouts
and your manja and whatever you've got on you
that day onto these nice ladies and one of them
is smiling at you and she's got You know big
hair big smile really friendly big like classic
trash planet type just loud flashy big jewelry
I just love when you come around. It's so good
to see you doll. You just you just inject fresh
air fresh air into this conversation don't we
need that ladies yeah yes yes yes yes we cut
the podcast everything's done we're following
this woman now you all have to roll new characters
that are in this woman's life anyway And so this
woman is making her small talk. You're passing
out your party favors. And she looks over at
you and she smiles. And you just know in your
gut that what she feels for you is utmost contempt.
Just deep, deep contempt. What do you do? Lottie
is going to smile back at her and then kind of
turn like she's rejoining the conversation. Just
looks across the table from her and listens to
it. What are they talking about? I saw a venison
once. Where was that? I was a little girl. I
saw it deep in the forest back when I still lived
on our cellos. You saw a venison? What was it
like? It was a deer. It was pretty venison. So
while Lottie's listening to this, she's like
getting like fake into it, kind of like leaning
forward, like hands on the table listening to
the story. And then she says like, oh, that reminds
me. And her hand like flies up and it kind of
flicks her tea cup. just like spills it all over
in the direction of the lady that was glaring
at her. Oh, my God. Oh, I'm so sorry, darling.
It's just I'm such a clumsy little lady. Let
me get that for you. And she grabs like the those
like cloth napkins they have there and kind of
like badly dabs at it to like rub in the stain
a little bit. Oh, my God. What type of tea is
this? What color is this? This is like a sweeter
one that's kind of like thicker consistency probably
like kind of sugary of like a like a dark orange
-ish color. I'm not loving the idea of a thick
tea. No no that's exactly what we'd have on trash
planet though. Yeah you're right it would be
when you drink it it goes slurp. A hot thick
tea. Just the consistency of Nyquil. Hot with
the color of Dayquil. Exactly what I was thinking
for this tea, thank you. Until you've spilled
this shit on this woman, she's looking at you
radiating displeasure. She's trying to remain,
you know, upright and smiling and ha ha ha, but
you can feel it between you. There's, I don't
know what this woman does pay you money. This
woman is a reliable contact to you. What are
you going to do now? I mean, I think Lottie would
be satisfied at that point, just like leaving
it at that, just, you know, like fake apologizing,
helping her out and getting back to the conversation.
There's a moment where she's really looking in
your eyes. And this is the moment she's looking
to see if you did it on purpose or not. What's
your vibe in that moment? Lottie does her best
to kind of like mimic the sort of like glare
that she was feeling earlier in the evening.
All right mark down on your contacts list you
have earned yourself your very own custom enemy.
Don't you know it's Fanny Wasserman. Feel free
to put that on your contacts list. Fanny Wasserman,
enemy at tea shop. Wow, great job. But you know,
as you make this intense eye contact, it makes
the anime spark between you. You know, the screen
splits in half. You know that on your side, it's
truth and beauty, baby. She will never lie to
you again. And dang, you've unlocked your next
playbook move. People are not lying to Lottie.
Nice. Good use of a downtime. The camera meanders
over to a tall person with a flat haircut. Tank,
what are you up to? Tank shows up back at the
screaming slice. Okay, yeah. Hey, hey, Halbert.
Yeah, you wanted me to... What? Get that out
of your mouth. God. You pay me in it, so I eat
it. That's true. So I don't know why you would
be surprised by that. Anyway, you called me here
and you said you got something for me to work
on? You shouldn't be mumbling. Okay, I'll talk
better. Okay. Good. She leads you down into the
little mushroom cave, which is normally where
Lottie grows her mushrooms. But Lottie, have
you been able to grow stuff here while the tunnel
is wide open? What's the situation down here?
I mean she would have at least tried if there's
I don't know if there's like continuous interference
coming from the tunnel or if it was just like
there's a hole there now and it's kind of awkward
to look down sometimes. So what happened last
time uh was our neighboring enemy restaurant
tried to break in and steal all our mushrooms
then collapse the cave uh they were only partially
successful but now the cave's kind of jacked
up um so Halbert is explaining this like yeah
you know all these fucking people uh okay so
I figure We just wedge some shit in the walls,
right? And then we'll just pack it up with dirt
and it'll be like it never happened. I assume.
I assume that's how tunnels do, right? Yeah,
I mean, rock is just hard dirt, right? Do we
know differently? I don't know. I don't know.
I'm not a geologist. This is why we're friends,
Tink, because we understand each other. And we
don't understand rocks. That is true. That is
true. She smacks you on the back so hard. She's
like a little five -foot lady, so it like doesn't
do much, but you know. Okay, so I just like seal
this up with with dirt in follow your heart tank
live your dream Okay, there was never one of
my dreams growing up, but I think like I can
maybe retroactively I can maybe retroactively
like trick myself into thinking it was one of
my dreams growing up Yeah, okay. Yeah. Yeah famous
tickball player. Also cover up a big hole with
dirt Okay. All right, please make your roll to
see how well this goes for good old tank What
am I rolling here? Yeah, what attribute do you
want to roll for this? I'm gonna pitch you care.
Alright, explain. So I really want to do a good
job on this and I really want to show how we're
like that I'm an asset, right? And I'm gonna
take my time and I'm really gonna you know, pack
up this dirt and make sure there's no cracks
and do my best effort. Incredible. I will allow
it. Okay. Okay. We're going to call that controlled
standard. That's a pretty normal roll. That is
a four. Okay. All right. So you're going to fill
in two segments on that project clock. Beautiful.
Okay. So we smash cut to a few hours later after
Tank has lived his dream a little bit. What is
the scene that we see in the basement? Tank is
glistening from sweat. He's wiping his brow and
he takes a big step back and there's just a sad
hole halfway filled with dirt and he just has
a look of pure satisfaction of a job well done.
Even though it's not completed yet. It doesn't
not look like a butthole is the thing. It doesn't
not look like that. We know. We look at it and
we know. Question, how did you fill in the dirt?
Like, is it like mostly on the Big Tomato side
and it's like halfway up? Or is it like half,
is it just like, like a half moon shape? Cause
it's like only the bottom half of the entire
tunnel. What was your strategy? What's the strategy
here? Probably would have to be the first one,
right? I don't think he's going to be like crawling
and just like. dumping like half dirt the next
time. It's making the tunnel smaller. Yeah. All
right. Does that infringe on the big tomato or
not? To close up this tunnel, it would have to.
Yeah. Right? Okay. All right. You are looking
at your beautiful butthole. You've thrown a bunch
of dirt into their tunnels and you're like, all
right, another job. Well done. To remind you,
the clock is at 50%. No problem. Tank, you wander
upstairs. You're absolutely dirt caked. Halberd
is eating a cheese stick. It's made out of, like,
rehydrated paste. It's not really cheese. Nothing
on here is real. But she breaks it in half and
gives you that half a cheese stick. She says,
good job, soldier. Oh, thank you, thank you.
Is, wait, is this a whiz stick? What did you
call me? Oh, like, like, you know the fake cheese?
Oh, yeah. Yeah. A whiz stick. Yeah. I guess it
is, kid. I guess it is. I just want to be clear.
I was not calling you a slur. I learned a lot
from our previous conversation. Yeah, you respect
women now. I do respect women. Yeah. Yeah, and
I just want you to know, I use that lesson. Wow.
She smacks on the back real hard. She's like,
Tank, you know how I feel right now? I feel respected.
Oh, nice. Tank's respect to women counter goes
ding, plus one. He failed to mention that he
used that lesson to punch. But in an equal way.
In a fun, empowering way. I beat the shit out
of three ladies. I am half expecting Tank to
change his agenda to respect women. No, baby,
that's just the way Tank lives at this point.
Respecting women. Finding boys. Finding boys.
Respecting women. The take method. Incredible.
Wow. Another banger downtime. The vibe is good.
The vibe is right. The vibe is sweet and the
vibe is nice. It is another beautiful night here
on Helica. You were tired, you're a little bit
scraped up. And that is why maybe you don't react
super quickly when someone chucks a molotov through
the front window of the Screamin' Slice. Someone
please give me a straight 1D6 for your engagement
role for the intrusion of the - I'm banned from
engagement. Yeah, you're banned from engagement.
Someone who's not Natalie. Fine, I'll do it.
All right. I love how all of us looked at Natalie
the whole time. Listeners at home, she's glowing.
She has a little cherubic smile. She knows she's
so lucky. She's a lucky girl. She's a lucky girl.
A three. Not is not looking not great not great
As a reminder for no particular reason you can
spend coin to increase some shit Yeah, we do
have three coin. We need to probably do have
three coin from your last job I would like to
use one of those coins. I you don't have to This
is gonna kill us that means that my 1 -3 result
becomes a 4 -5 as a result. Let's say it's an
improvement to the front of the screamin' slice
that you bought, like you did some kind of fortification,
like what did you do to like protect against
molotov cocktail? And this is in the past, so
you're not doing it now, but this is just like
a lucky thing that happened. In awning? Oh my
god. Alright, actually, okay, so at first the
camera shot with this badass, like, through the
window, smoke, flames, intense music. What actually
happens is, uh, Molotov cocktail, bong, hits
the rubber awning that like fell down, is at
a crazy angle, and you hear someone go, fuck!
You're listening to a HyperGallant production.
If you like what you heard, leave us a rate and
review. Check out our website at hypergallant
.com. Thank you to the Drinn, the Serps, Crime
of Passing, Perverts Again, and our own Rabbit
Sullivan, that's me, for the use of their music.
Thank you to Morgan Davy, Malcolm Craig, and
Gregor Hutton for the use of their game, A -State.