Hello, beautiful souls. Welcome back to SunDeep
Talks. You know, I was sitting in my kitchen
this morning just watching the steam rise from
my coffee. And I had this thought. Actually,
it wasn't really a thought. It was more like
this feeling that just... hit me in the chest
I was thinking about you about us about everyone
listening to this who's leading something building
something carrying something heavy or anything
that is going through them in their journeys
leaders CEOs, executives, founders individuals
leading even their homes or anything I was thinking
about all of this this came to my mind and I
realized we are all walking around with this
question that that nobody is asking out loud
to us or even in any way in any way any form
At least nobody asked me until I started asking
myself. The question is, what are you becoming
through all of this? I mean, not what are you
achieving? Not what are you building? What are
you becoming? Specifically, I'm saying this.
and most of the time we don't even have time
to realize or self -introspect what is happening
around us what we are actually becoming we are
so busy in a different form of becoming that
we don't get time or stillness of any kind even
while we are in a calm position we don't Find
ourselves calm. So so that's why I'm saying this
Because What I noticed I mean what I would say
what what I have noticed and Also, tell me if
this sounds familiar You can be absolutely crushing
it on paper Your business is growing your team
respects you people are people are saying all
the right things about your leadership and even
maybe wrong but you are lying in bed at night
and you feel empty like completely numb even
in silence you feel that you are not silent like
you are and when i would say when you just get
a just get a glimpse of that silence And you
you feel like you're performing your own life
instead of living it Some might say It's a part
of life. It's a phase of life At certain time
you have to be more focused or career some will
say What what's different in that But it's different
because Nobody Rarely people think about it like
that. They follow the pattern, they follow the
schedule, they follow the timelines. But still,
those who care, those who have their voices more
louder than their performances, they might be
having these questions more than anyone else.
They might rate themselves more than anyone else.
So tell me, you ever feel that way? I mean, it
is so powerful. I felt it for years. I would
be in these board meetings giving presentations,
making decisions that affected people's lives
in many ways. And I would catch myself thinking,
who is this person talking? This isn't me. I
mean, I'm so busy in performance. I'm so loud
in this performance. I'm so trying to be something
in this performance. But who is this person?
This isn't me. It's like, you know when you are
a kid and you put on your parents clothes. You're
swimming in this outfit that... that doesn't
fit but everyone's telling you how grown up you
are looking or how grown up you look that's what
leadership felt like for me for the longest time
and and the crazy part is nobody talks about
this we we talk about strategy we talk about
scaling we talk about culture and vision and
all these important things that sound so prophetic
that sounds so futuristic that sounds so hustleful
I would say but nobody talks about the fact that
leadership changes you and not always in ways
you signed up for I mean this is This is the
dynamic, this is the uncertainty about leadership
and most amazing part also I would say. Like,
I remember this one day, I was maybe three years
into building my first company and my mom called
me. Just a regular call. You know, she come from
a very traditional background. They really know
about, my parents really don't know about all
of this, what this business culture is all about.
We belong to a family where government jobs are
more prominent and where people go more into
serving nation in different ways like army, government
jobs, civil services and etc. so business is
not common maybe I'm one of the first so just
just a regular call as usual you know she she's
asking how I'm doing and I'm giving her the standard
update the pro update yes work is good Team is
growing, things are happening. We just closed
something, we were starting something new. And
I don't even bother to go in detail about that
because she will really understand. And it's
good she don't understand. And she goes quieter
for a second. Then she says, Yes, that's wonderful,
beta. I mean sun. In Hindi we say it beta. How
are you doing? What's going on? Everything is
fine, cool. And I just, I froze. Because I realized
I didn't know how to answer that question anymore.
The space that needed to answer that question,
the phases, the attention and the moments that
needed to answer that question were totally invisible.
Had become so good at being the CEO the leader
the leader I often say artificial leader We are
so fond of artificial intelligence nowadays,
but I would say the artificial leader the person
with all the answers like AI That I would forgotten
I would say that I didn't I didn't forgotten
who I was underneath all of that. That's when
it hit me. Not 100 % but I would say a sort of
initiation and many other circumstances were
responsible for further happenings in various
areas of life. I wasn't just running a business.
The business was running me. that was one of
the most heaviest feeling I would say I would
say was prevailing around after this question
not around but after this question this strike
that came to me this awakening that happened
to me somehow and I was becoming someone I don't
recognize that time maybe you know what I'm talking
about i don't know how many would relate to this
professional and yet i would say some sort of
philosophical some sort of self -improvement
some sort of awakening some sort of realizations
spiritual non -spiritual universal you can name
it in any sense whatever suits you to your callings
to your inner callings so maybe If you can relate
yourself with that, maybe you have been there.
I can only guess. But I don't think all of them,
but maybe many of them. And maybe many of them
are there right now. You are successful by every
metrics or even facing challenges. Not okay,
but not very bad too. I mean all that matters.
to the outside world but inside inside you feel
like you are wearing a mask that's gotten so
comfortable you have forgotten what you actually
i mean look like or what what you have what what
your actual face look like looks like i would
say and now you feel it is impossible to switch
yourself i mean initially it was like you have
two zones when you started one was more emotional
one was more thinking from heart more using brain
also but heart was more over there but then with
you know with conditioning of brain you become
more brain centric and and you become your mind
become more dominated by your brain actually
that mind is that field you know that joins the
brain and heart concept alignment it decided
decide how both are going to work or both are
going to create your journey so here's what I
want to share with you today basically the reason
not as some guru or expert or anything I'm nobody
like that none of that trust me i'm figuring
this out as i go but as someone who's been in
that place and found a way back to myself this
is i can say certainly this is what i at least
i am the thing is we think becoming is automatic
now this is the part where you need a little
bit more focus what i'm saying the thing is we
think becoming is automatic we think that as
we build and lead and grow like phases of life
childhood youth adulthood like that we will naturally
become the person we are meant to be but that's
not how it works. Why I am saying this? There
is a reason. If you can go deeper, you have understood
it by now. But still I am saying, we never become,
and that becoming never happen automatic. Automatically,
automatically what happens, automatically you
just do what you do. for that becoming you need
a lot of homework you need a lot of inner calling
listening a lot more thing we will discuss that
so what actually happens in this every decision
you make every pressure you absorb every mask
you put on to get through the day in any form
it all adds up somehow and before you know it
you are not becoming anything you are just accumulating
that's the better term I would say accumulating
responsibilities expectations versions of yourself
that other people need you to be and you also
see that version of yours living most of Your
I mean your schedule In 24 hours, you might be
living that person now almost full 24 hours But
here's the thing and and this might sound crazy
You can change this Right now today You can start
asking yourself Very simple sounding question,
but it's still very powerful and may impact those
who are actually in this state more than those
who are just considering this as just a vague
thing or anything like that. So, who I am becoming
through this work, through this leadership and
through this life I am building, I mean they
are deep, they sound so simple. And when you
ask that question, really ask it, I mean, not
just think it, you might be surprised by what
comes up. Okay, I will tell you what came up
for me when I finally sat with that question.
I'm again saying there were so many other things
responsible in many ways and for a very long
time. Nothing happens overnight, nothing. Rise,
downfall, all have their own time. So when I
finally sat with that question, I realized I
was becoming harder, yet more vulnerable, more
cynical. I was becoming someone who had answers
for everyone else. You know, whatever comes up
to me in a day -to -day life, I was like pro
in doing, yes, yes, this is like this, this is
like this, let's do this, do this, like that.
And everyone, I was having solutions for everyone,
for every situation. And I very well know how
to tackle things, okay, because that's being
an entrepreneur, being a business owner. you
know all these things and you have to be very
good in that but I couldn't hear my own inner
voice anymore and I was feeling a lot of louder
voices coming from inside every single day and
every time when I feel myself in a position where
I feel like whatever is happening now It's not
working, somehow it's not working. The result
is coming, the growth is happening, the things
are changing or if I go like that, it might take
me to the places where I can't even imagine that
I would have reached so fast, so timely. Yes,
so timely and so fast. I was becoming successful,
sure, but I was also becoming someone. I didn't
particularly like spending time with them. Because
I was never spending time with me the way we
truly spend time with ourselves. I was spending
time with a version, those who are constantly
strategizing things. constantly planning the
next move the next thing and next thing and next
thing and this and then solving that oh my god
what a problem solver I was becoming and that
scared me because I realized if I kept going
down that path I might win the business game
and I was winning I was going great so fast and
so good Knowing what resources I carry, knowing
what are my situations, knowing all the risk
of circumstances but lose myself completely.
So I started doing something different. I started
treating my own becoming as seriously I treated
my business growth and that didn't happen overnight
again. I started it very slowly and it was not
easy at all. It was a hell lot of a journey.
For me, at least, I would love to hear how you
made it and how things are going at your side.
So I started asking myself, what kind of leader
do I want to become? And also I would say leadership
is something like... It's the only thing that
I know since my childhood since all the memories
that I have in Various forms not in the forms
that weren't called leadership, but in many other
forms in many other shapes and sizes and patterns
What what kind of leader do I want to become
this question I was talking about Not what kind
of result do I want to achieve? I was never worried
about What will happen and what what outcome
will come? Just I always know one thing I have
to do my stuff in a best possible way the best
give your everything to it and then outcome rarely
matters to be very frank and 99 .9 percent I
would say from my experience Outcome will always
come in your favor When this is the mindset and
when this is the approach So what kind of person?
Do I want to be while I'm achieving them? That's
the question. And you know what? Everything changed.
Everything changed. So that's why I'm saying
that's what started happening in my life. Again,
not overnight, not in some dramatic movie like
way, but slowly, gradually. millions of moments
hundreds of awakenings and lot of self -introspection
doing something out of the box taking decisions
that that is almost impossible sometime to understand
now that and I mean how I made them possible
at that time and and now when I see through my
journey I see I have done this many times and
in every phase I have made these decisions that
I don't even understand how and from where I
got that courage so I started remembering who
I was before I became who I thought I need to
be because We all have some theories for ourselves,
some perceptions around our journeys, our goals,
our ambitions, and some dreams, some visions,
some imaginations, some hypothetical, you know,
dissections of our existence. So that, I mean,
most people have those who... I mean, entrepreneurs,
leaders, founders, CEOs, executives, C -suits,
all those people I would say they have these
kind of thing at some stage, sometime, at least,
ever. Listen, I don't know what you are carrying
right now. Yes, I really don't know. I don't
know what pressure you are under, what expectations
you are trying to meet, and... what version of
yourself you think you need to be to succeed
yes I know nothing about that but I have been
through all of that and more and more my journey
is so diverse I mean so diverse and I have learned
so so deeply so painfully so lovingly so I mean
name it and I have learned it through that ways
not because it is not like that I have seen so
much no it's not like that I'm seeing more than
that with each passing day and even in single
moments we are learning more than that what I
have seen so far and you too can relate this
with yourself no one I would say those who have
the ability to to introspect they all are blessed
with this kind of learning so but I know this
I know if I know something I know this that you
don't have to sacrifice who you are to become
who you mean to be yes again this is not easy
I would say this is not easy but this is 100
% achievable and possible and actually What I
said is You don't have to sacrifice who you are
to become who you are mean to be And actually
it is it's it's the opposite The more you remember
who you are Your actual values your actual voice
your actual way of being in the world The more
powerful your leadership becomes exactly this
from these parts the depth the wisdom the ability
to vision to lead they all come through these
channels these gateways because people don't
follow strategies never it looks like they are
following but they really follow human beings
and human beings can sense authenticity from
a I mean mile away Say the if I'm wrong So here's
what I want you to do not tomorrow Not next week,
but right now while you are listening to this
Ask yourself what I am becoming and don't Give
me the LinkedIn answer the chat GPT answer or
any sort of those answers don't tell me about
your goals or your vision or your five -year
plan tell me what kind of person am i becoming
through the way i show up every day am i becoming
kinder or harder more open or more closed more
myself or more of what i think other people need
me to be and then and this is the important part
decide if that's who you want to become out of
your findings decide if that's who you want to
become because there is another secret i would
say that people really or nobody tells us you
get to choose every single day you get to choose
who you are becoming you know what's beautiful
about this when you start leading from who you
actually are instead of who you think you should
be everything gets easier not immediately because
your actions will reflect so many things that
are not easy you will require a lot of courage
but slowly and slowly everything gets easier
the decisions become clear more clearer because
you are not fighting against yourself anymore
that's the biggest relief the relationships become
deeper because you are not performing for people
anymore another big relief the work becomes more
meaningful because it's coming from a real place
that you carry and that a place that you love
so much and your team they will feel it they
will feel the difference between a leader who
I mean who's performing leadership and a leader
who is embodying it Look, I'm not saying this
is easy, okay? Never. Becoming yourself in a
world that's constantly telling you who you should
be, that's probably the hardest work you will
ever do. It's not like, you know, you're just
planning about it and it starts happening. No,
it will come with lot of sacrifices, lot of...
courage lot of moves that you will take and I
can't even share how much you have to be responsible
for all of that but if you really need the relief
you want to set free and you want to still achieve
then I would say it's the most important work
because I mean because at the end of the day
you can build the biggest company you have the
most impressive title achieve every goal you
set for yourself but if you lose yourself in
the process what's the point so it's time for
some invitation yes and here is my invitation
for you my challenge my request And deep down
my prayers, please stop performing your life
and start living it. Stop being the leader you
think you should be and start being the leader
you actually are. Stop asking what you need to
do and start asking who you want to become. and
trust me on this just trust me the world needs
you who you as I mean as who you actually are
not the polished version not the strategic version
not the version that looks good on paper good
in suits good in dresses that's okay that's also
important nothing is nothing is like of no use
but what's the point when you use yourself in
the process now that's the question the world
needs your actual voice your actual heart your
actual way of seeing things so what are you becoming
really this is the question that's the work that's
the path way back to yourself And when you find
that answer, when you really find it, everything
else will fall into place. And the life will
be, life will be more and more loving, more and
more grateful, more and more abundant I would
say, in many ways. Earlier it was in one way
and causing you many other ways, damaging many
other ways. Now it will build every other ways
also. It will grow you in all dimensions. Your
work life, your personal life, your relationships,
your family, your social. You will see the holistic
difference. This has been SunDeep Talks. Thank
you for being here. Thank you for listening.
Thank you for being... brave enough to ask the
real questions. Keep becoming. Keep remembering.
Keep leading from your soul. I will see you next
time.