WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.839 A few days ago, a meteor crash -landed smack 00:00:02.839 --> 00:00:05.540 in the middle of the Bokker's parking lot. Of 00:00:05.540 --> 00:00:07.820 course, Adam, Zoe, and me went to check it out 00:00:07.820 --> 00:00:10.160 because, well, what else are you going to do 00:00:10.160 --> 00:00:12.480 when space debris comes falling from the sky? 00:00:13.220 --> 00:00:16.000 But here's the kicker. It wasn't just a hunk 00:00:16.000 --> 00:00:19.839 of rock. No, out from that meteor came a talking 00:00:19.839 --> 00:00:23.960 chicken. Yeah, you heard that right. He introduced 00:00:23.960 --> 00:00:27.410 himself as Commander Serap. claiming to be part 00:00:27.410 --> 00:00:30.410 of some intergalactic group of universal protectors, 00:00:30.510 --> 00:00:32.530 and he didn't waste time getting to the weird 00:00:32.530 --> 00:00:35.229 part either. He looked straight at me and said 00:00:35.229 --> 00:00:38.570 I was one of the chosen ones. According to him, 00:00:38.710 --> 00:00:40.969 the fate of the universe is hanging by a thread, 00:00:41.130 --> 00:00:43.890 and for some bizarre reason, we're the ones expected 00:00:43.890 --> 00:00:49.750 to save it. But with music. Yep, still trying 00:00:49.750 --> 00:00:52.649 to wrap my head around that one. I know it all 00:00:52.649 --> 00:00:55.070 sounds ridiculous, but I kind of want to believe 00:00:55.070 --> 00:00:57.920 him. I mean, how many chances do you get to talk 00:00:57.920 --> 00:01:00.619 to a sentient alien, or talking chicken for that 00:01:00.619 --> 00:01:04.040 matter? Maybe it is crazy, but I kind of feel 00:01:04.040 --> 00:01:09.060 hopeful. Like this could be my shot. Everybody 00:01:09.060 --> 00:01:11.420 wants to leave their mark on the world, right? 00:01:12.120 --> 00:01:14.040 Everyone wants their life to mean something. 00:01:14.640 --> 00:01:16.680 Maybe this is the moment I've been waiting for. 00:01:16.959 --> 00:01:19.280 The one where I finally get the chance to do 00:01:19.280 --> 00:01:24.750 something big. Something that matters. I'm supposed 00:01:24.750 --> 00:01:28.329 to save the universe? I never asked for that 00:01:28.329 --> 00:01:31.629 responsibility. Of all the people in the world, 00:01:31.730 --> 00:01:34.689 why was someone like me chosen? I'm nothing special. 00:01:35.709 --> 00:01:38.650 If I'm being honest, I'm probably below average 00:01:38.650 --> 00:01:43.069 in every area of my life. I guess it's kind of 00:01:43.069 --> 00:01:45.409 funny when you think about it. The fate of the 00:01:45.409 --> 00:01:49.189 universe in the hands of a guy like that? It's 00:01:49.189 --> 00:01:51.709 not like I'm some prodigy destined for greatness. 00:01:52.109 --> 00:01:55.489 I'm just a fry cook at Bawker's. Half the time 00:01:55.489 --> 00:01:58.129 I'm just coasting by, trying not to mess things 00:01:58.129 --> 00:02:00.989 up too badly, and now I'm supposed to be some 00:02:00.989 --> 00:02:04.170 cosmic savior? It's the kind of thing you'd see 00:02:04.170 --> 00:02:08.150 in a movie. Except this time it's real. And I 00:02:08.150 --> 00:02:11.729 have no idea what I'm doing. Did Seraph really 00:02:11.729 --> 00:02:14.539 pick the right guy for the job? What does he 00:02:14.539 --> 00:02:18.020 even see in me? I've got no skills, no ambitions. 00:02:18.659 --> 00:02:21.580 If anything, I'm the least qualified person to 00:02:21.580 --> 00:02:23.740 be thrown into this whole saving the universe 00:02:23.740 --> 00:02:26.840 situation. There's gotta be someone out there 00:02:26.840 --> 00:02:32.099 more capable. Whatever, you know what? I'm done 00:02:32.099 --> 00:02:35.259 stressing. Freaking out isn't gonna help, and 00:02:35.259 --> 00:02:37.520 worrying won't make me any more prepared for 00:02:37.520 --> 00:02:40.120 this mess. We'll get there when we get there. 00:02:40.680 --> 00:02:42.520 Saving the universe can wait for a little bit 00:02:42.520 --> 00:02:48.539 longer, right? It's kind of crazy how fast this 00:02:48.539 --> 00:02:51.680 year's gone by. I used to just spend days at 00:02:51.680 --> 00:02:54.759 home until the boys came along. Sure, people 00:02:54.759 --> 00:02:58.560 might call that coasting. But, you know, I don't 00:02:58.560 --> 00:03:01.580 mind it one bit. Besides, none of that matters 00:03:01.580 --> 00:03:04.719 now because I'm having so much fun. Kai can be 00:03:04.719 --> 00:03:07.099 a bit serious, but you know deep down he's looking 00:03:07.099 --> 00:03:09.780 out for us. And there's Adam, who makes me laugh 00:03:09.780 --> 00:03:12.699 with his weird jokes. Every day feels like an 00:03:12.699 --> 00:03:15.620 adventure. I didn't even know I wanted. Oh, and 00:03:15.620 --> 00:03:17.939 if that wasn't enough, we even found a new friend, 00:03:17.960 --> 00:03:21.939 too. He's so tiny and fuzzy and has the funniest 00:03:21.939 --> 00:03:25.120 little temper. But somehow, even with that attitude, 00:03:25.400 --> 00:03:29.900 he fits right in with us. Sometimes it all feels 00:03:29.900 --> 00:03:35.039 unreal. Having friends who are there every moment. 00:03:36.060 --> 00:03:38.659 It all happened so fast, I can barely catch my 00:03:38.659 --> 00:03:42.180 breath. I wonder if we'll always stay this way. 00:03:43.300 --> 00:03:47.000 I really hope so. I wish I could just freeze 00:03:47.000 --> 00:03:49.819 times like this and keep them forever, just as 00:03:49.819 --> 00:04:05.490 they are. I find myself up to my ass in a sea 00:04:05.490 --> 00:04:08.810 of cerebrally challenged individuals. This planet 00:04:08.810 --> 00:04:11.530 is a vacuum of self -awareness, where nobody 00:04:11.530 --> 00:04:14.069 knows how to express their feelings to one another. 00:04:14.330 --> 00:04:17.149 They all lie to themselves and spend their days 00:04:17.149 --> 00:04:19.629 lonely, even as they are surrounded by their 00:04:19.629 --> 00:04:23.050 friends and family. I'd say that pond scum could 00:04:23.050 --> 00:04:25.410 have chosen a better planet, but I know that's 00:04:25.410 --> 00:04:28.680 insubordination, so I will refrain. For now, 00:04:28.860 --> 00:04:31.519 I'll assess the situation on the ground. I've 00:04:31.519 --> 00:04:34.300 chosen three humans with unassuming personalities, 00:04:34.779 --> 00:04:38.399 but more baggage than an airport. For future 00:04:38.399 --> 00:04:40.740 mission logs, I will refer to them exclusively 00:04:40.740 --> 00:04:45.279 as Tryhard, Greaseball, and Headrest. My only 00:04:45.279 --> 00:04:47.759 solace is the knowledge that I am not the only 00:04:47.759 --> 00:04:51.220 one scraping this barrel. With hundreds of Nori 00:04:51.220 --> 00:04:53.519 scouting for talent, there's bound to be something 00:04:53.519 --> 00:04:57.040 worth salvaging on this ball of dirt. Commander 00:04:57.040 --> 00:05:26.990 Serap signing off. Maybe his loyalty lies elsewhere, 00:05:27.129 --> 00:05:29.449 and he works toward a goal that's more sinister. 00:05:30.769 --> 00:05:34.370 I can picture his smug face right now, satisfied 00:05:34.370 --> 00:05:37.810 that nobody has proof. Well, I won't stand for 00:05:37.810 --> 00:05:40.790 it. I will find out what Plump W is, and when 00:05:40.790 --> 00:05:43.990 I do, I will use everything in my power to stifle 00:05:43.990 --> 00:05:46.670 your progress. You mark my words, Commander. 00:05:47.709 --> 00:05:50.730 In the meantime, the one million in one year 00:05:50.730 --> 00:05:53.439 cycle has passed. and we've been sent to a new 00:05:53.439 --> 00:05:56.079 planet to scout for potential candidates. The 00:05:56.079 --> 00:05:58.040 three chosen that I've selected have already 00:05:58.040 --> 00:06:00.959 awakened their powers. At the very least, I'm 00:06:00.959 --> 00:06:02.819 confident that they have what it takes to beat 00:06:02.819 --> 00:06:07.259 whatever rubbish he gathers together. Met an 00:06:07.259 --> 00:06:10.139 alien the other day. I thought I was buggin', 00:06:10.139 --> 00:06:12.480 but I started playing with its wings and stuff, 00:06:12.639 --> 00:06:15.860 and it bit me on the tricep. At first, I thought 00:06:15.860 --> 00:06:18.579 I'd turn into an alien, but then I remembered 00:06:18.579 --> 00:06:22.259 that's werewolf rules. So, yeah. I'm still a 00:06:22.259 --> 00:06:25.100 humanoid. The alien did give me powers, though. 00:06:25.560 --> 00:06:28.879 If I flare my nostrils and flex my thigh muscles 00:06:28.879 --> 00:06:32.420 as hard as I can, it summons a drum set out of 00:06:32.420 --> 00:06:36.579 thin air. For it to appear, I also have to think 00:06:36.579 --> 00:06:38.139 about how bad I don't want people to get mad 00:06:38.139 --> 00:06:40.980 at me. And that I'm super worried about disappointing 00:06:40.980 --> 00:06:44.420 my friends. But I think it's mostly because of 00:06:44.420 --> 00:06:47.980 my thighs. I'm pretty stoked about it, though. 00:06:48.360 --> 00:06:51.850 I'm ready to do my part. In the beginning, I 00:06:51.850 --> 00:06:53.769 was all worried it'd be a big deal and stuff. 00:06:53.990 --> 00:06:57.009 Like, I felt this crushing weight of responsibility. 00:06:58.089 --> 00:07:00.930 But you kind of get over it after a while. Like 00:07:00.930 --> 00:07:04.850 it wears off easy. It's chill. Nothing the L 00:07:04.850 --> 00:07:10.250 -Dog can't handle. Do you know what it's like 00:07:10.250 --> 00:07:14.370 to be on top? Well, it's not just about stardom. 00:07:14.629 --> 00:07:18.389 It's walking into a room and knowing every head 00:07:18.389 --> 00:07:21.740 will turn. It's about having that special something 00:07:21.740 --> 00:07:25.439 that makes you impossible to ignore. When I wake 00:07:25.439 --> 00:07:28.060 up, the first thing I see is my name blowing 00:07:28.060 --> 00:07:31.839 up. Hundreds of comments, new followers, brands 00:07:31.839 --> 00:07:35.980 begging to work with me. Oh sure, I have my haters 00:07:35.980 --> 00:07:39.519 and they say some horrible things about me. But 00:07:39.519 --> 00:07:42.459 the one word they'll never use is forgettable. 00:07:43.040 --> 00:07:45.600 That's because my beauty and charisma are undeniable. 00:07:46.339 --> 00:07:50.089 They're jealous. And who can blame them? I'm 00:07:50.089 --> 00:07:52.829 everything they wish I could be. Some people 00:07:52.829 --> 00:07:55.110 pretend not to know this because it intimidates 00:07:55.110 --> 00:07:58.149 them, but the cold, hard truth is that in this 00:07:58.149 --> 00:08:02.829 world, looks are what matter most. Well, it's 00:08:02.829 --> 00:08:05.310 only natural that I'm one of the chosen. I mean, 00:08:05.389 --> 00:08:07.769 I was barely even surprised when I found out. 00:08:07.990 --> 00:08:10.149 I don't need to be told to know I'm special, 00:08:10.389 --> 00:08:14.949 because I see it every single time I look in 00:08:14.949 --> 00:08:23.019 the mirror. Cosmic powers. Interesting. These 00:08:23.019 --> 00:08:25.779 are definitely something new. I'll figure out 00:08:25.779 --> 00:08:28.519 the best way to put them to use. Whatever happens, 00:08:28.660 --> 00:08:32.740 though, I won't let it go to my head. Last week, 00:08:32.740 --> 00:08:35.159 I encountered a cosmic being that granted me 00:08:35.159 --> 00:08:38.340 the ability to literally warp reality through 00:08:38.340 --> 00:08:41.360 music. But as it turns out, I'm not the only 00:08:41.360 --> 00:08:44.600 one. Hundreds of others, including Kai, stumbled 00:08:44.600 --> 00:08:48.590 upon this same deal. His own pet. his own powers, 00:08:48.789 --> 00:08:53.129 and apparently the same mission. But here's what 00:08:53.129 --> 00:08:57.269 bothers me. Why so many of us? It diminishes 00:08:57.269 --> 00:08:59.990 our strength, stifles our capacity to make the 00:08:59.990 --> 00:09:02.629 hard calls and do what needs to be done. And 00:09:02.629 --> 00:09:05.210 frankly, having someone like Kai thrown into 00:09:05.210 --> 00:09:08.870 the mix? That kind of unpredictability is our 00:09:08.870 --> 00:09:13.649 fast track to ruin. No, I'm starting to see the 00:09:13.649 --> 00:09:16.620 big picture. It's not enough to simply play along 00:09:16.620 --> 00:09:19.980 on some grand mission. We can't risk leaving 00:09:19.980 --> 00:09:24.500 our fate in idle hands. I'll take charge. That's 00:09:24.500 --> 00:09:30.639 the only way we'll ensure our survival. Do you 00:09:30.639 --> 00:09:35.059 know who you are? I mean, truly? Humor me for 00:09:35.059 --> 00:09:38.019 just a moment. I want to know if you've ever 00:09:38.019 --> 00:09:40.460 found yourself in a situation where you ended 00:09:40.460 --> 00:09:43.539 up behaving differently than you thought you 00:09:43.539 --> 00:09:46.720 would. You might have imagined yourself as somebody 00:09:46.720 --> 00:09:49.519 who could handle a crisis, but when faced with 00:09:49.519 --> 00:09:53.080 unexpected chaos, you found yourself paralyzed, 00:09:53.539 --> 00:09:57.720 unable to take action. Perhaps you never imagined 00:09:57.720 --> 00:10:00.279 you could hurt the people you love most, but 00:10:00.279 --> 00:10:02.480 got overwhelmed and lashed out at one of them 00:10:02.480 --> 00:10:05.700 in a moment of weakness. What do you do with 00:10:05.700 --> 00:10:08.679 the things you're most ashamed of? Do you bury 00:10:08.679 --> 00:10:11.340 them away where they can't be found, or wear 00:10:11.340 --> 00:10:14.179 them on your sleeve? And why do you think that 00:10:14.179 --> 00:10:18.399 is? Your mind has created a story for itself 00:10:18.399 --> 00:10:22.139 about who you are and what you want. A pretty 00:10:22.139 --> 00:10:26.379 lie that allows you to carry on. It's just basic 00:10:26.379 --> 00:10:29.919 self -preservation. Who wants to think of themselves 00:10:29.919 --> 00:10:34.940 as a bad person? As irredeemable? We all intuitively 00:10:34.940 --> 00:10:38.259 know that such people exist. But not you, right? 00:10:38.740 --> 00:10:45.950 Oh no, never you. Well, it's just a thought.