Welcome to Agent's Dossier, a Delta Green actual
play series brought to you by 12 Sided Stories.
And now your GM, Wes Otis. my name is Wes Otis.
Welcome to Agents Dossier episode number 35.
I am here with some wonderful players. Let's
introduce them real quick. Let's start with Mac.
Hey y 'all, I am Mac, but today I am playing
Wanda Sims, who might be in some measure of trouble
right now. Hi, I am Pooja playing Robin Porter,
who absolutely refuses to lose another member
of her team. 100 % will not happen. Hey, I'm
Michelle, and I'm playing Maggie Cortez. She's
pretty sure she can research her way out of all
of this. Hello, I've been playing Norman Morales,
and he's kind of along for the ride at this point.
There's just only so many more surprises that
can happen, right? Right? No, no, no. Don't tempt
fate. Never say that. It's sarcasm. It's sarcasm.
Why, that must be a challenge. Let's talk about
a recap. So in the last game, you figured out
that Omar and the husbands, the other two, Roderick
and Pete, had been basically... How do I put
it? Blackmailed? Blackmailed, and also used as
almost guinea pigs for these spider creatures
to maybe feed on. They were all... basically
thrust into being a part of a spider cult that
their wives had called forth this god and the
god gave them babies to feed until they became
adult versions and then you're not sure past
that what the next part of this and the wives
had started doing things like bringing the babies
to cows and trying to buy meat and killing people
they don't like at the school and now they're
talking about expanding their horizons to people
who they don't know just to feed these babies
so that the mother spider does not get too upset
with them the husbands are trying to at least
from omar's point of view uh you haven't talked
to pete but pete looks like he's pretty badly
infected with whatever venom they leech out omar
has was bitten his leg has already started atrophy
and change and he's just trying to protect his
kids you have not set eyes on roderick yet so
you have no idea what situation roderick is in
the cleanup crew from delta green came in and
cleaned up the apartment of omar it's still i
believe it's friday afternoon before the basketball
game so the basketball game is going to happen
in a couple hours during your encounter with
the spider that was living inside of omar's place
and he believed the other baby is with rodrick
unfortunately wanda was bit and she seems to
be getting some changes her Hand suddenly started
to be able to see behind her. And a little eyeball,
like a spider eye, has popped up there just on
the side of her hand. And she can see through
it. And she's also noticing a couple of long,
black, really stiff hairs on the back of her
neck. So you contacted Delta Green. You told
them about Roderick's place. And then two of
the spider creatures have been dealt with. The
other one is at the abandoned apartment building.
You were going to go to the abandoned apartment
building to see if the book was there to be able
to reverse whatever the hell these PTA moms have
unleashed on the world. You also know that there
is someone from Phantom X looking into them.
They have been spotted at areas around the city.
So, yeah, so there we go. I'm going to have to
recut all of that because I forgot so much. So
it's the afternoon and Wanda has just found out
that an eye has appeared on her hand. Let's start
with a resolve roll for Wanda. Oh. Didn't make
it. Didn't agent Jackson say that? Who did she
tell? Like, basically we might have to take Wanda
out. Oh, that was Robin. Okay. That was me. Like
that. If her blood percentage of spider to human
went over 50%. Yeah. I'm going to have to turn
her in, which no, I mean, don't turn in Brundle
fly. I didn't tell them though, but I'm perfectly
willing to just not, not do that. I refuse to
do that. I, have lost too many people already.
Yesenia is still in the hospital again. Delta
Green has taken enough from me. You take eight
points, speaking of losing. Eight points. Ouch.
Ouch. I just had a flashback to bacon. That's
the next show. Okay. So what happens if you're
under your breaking point? We don't use breaking
point because we are doing resolve check. Got
it. Okay. You're already at your breaking point.
You're a brand new character. How many resolve
points do you have? 36. Oh, my God. Robin, you
might lose another. All right. So you need to
roll a luck roll right now. And you want to stay
under 50%. 50 % or under. Yeah, right. These
dice hate me. I got a 48. See? Oh, wow. They
don't hate you that much. Barely, though. You
are able to maintain control. You are freaking
out a little bit, but it's up to you how you
want to roleplay this. You don't freeze or run
away or any of that stuff. So the floor is yours.
I put my hands in my pockets. Okay. Goes dark.
Good. All right. And unfortunately, because it
doesn't have an eyelid, it's just open all the
time. Yeah, I am aware. Yeah. Yeah, I don't like
that. That's nasty. That's nasty. Do you tell
anybody about this? No. No, I don't think I really
want to share that information at this present
time. So you're the jerk character in the zombie
movie that gets bit and doesn't tell anyone until
it's too late. Got it. Okay. No, it's not that
bad. Just a little eyeball. It's just a little
eyeball. Yeah, it's fine. It's fine. We're all
fine here. In this case, we know she's been bitten
at least. Right. Yeah. It's just a mandible.
It's okay. It gets worse and worse. All right.
So where do you all want to go next then is the
question. Are you going to the apartment building
or you want to skip forward to the basketball
game? I mean, I'd kind of like to go back to
Bree's house, because I think at this point,
we know Bree will be at the basketball game.
Yeah. So that's our best chance at searching
her house without her being there? Right. And
we just have to look out for Pete. Spider Pete.
Who's, yeah, however far gone his blood percentage
is, probably pretty far. Yeah, it did not look
good. Yeah, so this time going in with weapons,
but maybe not just a gun. No, there's not going
to be kids there at all, right? Yeah. No, because
the kids are at Bree's parents' house. Good,
good. That's what I was worried about. They sent
the kids away once people started changing. Yeah,
that's a good idea, you know, rather than keeping
your kids in a house with giant spiders. Wow,
it's the best parenting they've done so far.
Yeah, that's that's so sad. That's a low bar.
So, yeah, let's go to the Pete's Pete and Breeze.
All right. So you wait a few hours. The basketball
game starts around seven at night. So it's dark
out and you drive up. You don't have to roll
for it, Norman. down the street on the opposite
section, and there doesn't seem to be anybody
inside of the car. I immediately point that out.
Looks like our phantom news friends might be
around. Can we do a search for sneaky humans
around the house if we see any people? See any
people moving around? Yeah. Would that be like
alertness? Alertness, yeah. Yeah, you can all
make an alertness roll. And if you use your hand,
Mac, I'll give you an extra 20%. Sure, I'll use
it like a periscope. Yes. Does it have night
vision? She's going like this, like she's waving
from a carriage as she goes to her coronation.
Oh, yes, hello. Rolled a 12 under my 33. Oh,
wow. That's awesome. I rolled... I didn't need
Spider Hand. I rolled a 4. Oh, wow. Oh, yeah.
I could have used Spider Hand, but it still wouldn't
have helped. I rolled an 82 over my 40. Oof.
Yeah, I rolled a 60 over my 22. I am blissfully
unaware of anything. I'm like, la la la. I left
my glasses at home. But I saw the car. Two of
you are on it. The other two are not. You see
a woman with long black hair and light pale skin.
That's all you can make out from the area. She
seems like she's dressed in all black. And she
is next to the house, kind of near one of the
windows next to the bushes. And you can tell
right away. This is an amateur who's trying to
sneak around somebody's house and doesn't know
what the hell they're doing because she's in
fake ninja clothes. So what do you all want to
do? Well, after it's been pointed out to my blurry
eyes, I'm like, oh, that might be Jessica. In
which case, does anyone have high intimidation?
I think we could probably scare her off. Yeah,
I was actually thinking about, like, coming at
her as if it was a plainclothes police officer.
You know, somebody called me in. You know, there
was somebody creeping around the bushes. Flashlight
in her eyes kind of thing. Is that what you want
to do? Sure, why not? Yeah, I mean, I have nothing
to make me look more official. Yeah. I've got
persuade out the ass, so hopefully that helps.
Yeah, that'll definitely help. We've established
that you all have multiple identities that you
can kind of pull from. I'm sure local police
officer is probably one that you would have that
just for like if they searched very deep, it
wouldn't hold up. But, you know, you have like
a fake badge or something and maybe like a little
box of them in the back of the car. So you grab
your ID. How do you approach this? Because here's
the question. If Pete's inside. and you walk
up and you make a ruckus outside, are you going
to alert him? I mean, there's a chance, but we
also need this girl to piss off, so... Okay.
I'm going to approach quietly, but like flashlight
in her eyes kind of thing, so it gets near my
face so she can't really see me as much as I
can see her. Okay. So when you get up to her,
sure enough, yes, it is Jessica, and she sees
you coming, tries to like... blend into the side
of the wall and doesn't do a good job. And you
flashlight in her face because you know right
where she's at. What do you say? Ma 'am, I believe
you might be trespassing. Officer? Clearly. She
goes, I'm with the press. I'm here investigating
a story. I don't believe that that gives you
the right to be on people's private property.
No, probably not. I'll leave. I'm sorry. You
get the sense that she definitely doesn't want
to be arrested because that would cause more
problems than it's worth. And she knows that
she's in the wrong. But you're not sure if she's
going to leave or if she's going to sit in her
car and watch what's going on. She says, I'll
leave. I'll leave. Quick side thing. While that's
happening, I want to put a tracker on her car.
On the rental. Oh, sure. I need a stealth roll
for that. Okay. Fair enough. All right. Let's
see. I only have tens, but... All right. What
is my stealth? It is 31. Okay. Yeah, 31. Oh!
Okay. This shouldn't count, though, because I
just used two tens dice, and so I got a 70, but
it's like, which one would I count as the tens?
Should I re -roll? Well, re -roll it. Yeah, let
me re -roll it. Re -roll it and call which one,
like you say which color or whatever is going
to be your 10. This will be my single digit.
And this will be my double digit. All right.
Sounds good. Okay. All right. No, still didn't
make it. Shit. Yeah, no, no, no. Missed it by,
but yeah, that's 56 over my 41. Well, whatever.
Well, not whatever. That actually, I think this
is one of my first good moves. OK, so you get
over there, you put a tracking device on and
then you make it back. And a few moments later,
unless you're going to detain her more, are you
just going to let her walk away? I am going to
say I suggest you move on outside of this neighborhood.
If you are caught causing any more disturbances,
I will have to take you in. I won't do any more
disturbances, but I'm allowed to be here as a
as a investigator. I can. I can stay on public
property. That's not against the law. I am aware
of that. I'm just letting you know that we have
a very strong neighborhood watch in this area.
And unfortunately, sometimes they get a little
exuberant. So it might be better to move on to
another area. So give me a persuade roll. This
is where that persuade comes in. Because I really
want her to go all the way away. I got a seven
under my 70. Damn. Damn. So you're getting all
the good rolls at the beginning of the game.
Yeah, so I'll study later. It'll be great. Yeah.
She goes, all right, all right, I'll move along.
She goes out to her car, stays there for about
a minute, and then drives off. And the tracker
begins to work. Do I know I failed? Nope. Like,
damn, that was a sloppy job. I hope it doesn't
come bite me in the ass. No, you don't know you
failed. How is she going to outsmart me? I'm
NSA. Now the coast seems to be relatively clear.
There's nobody else on the street. What's the
plan to approach this house? Can we look at what's
the security situation like? Do they have, you
know, a ring camera, security bars on the windows
or, you know? No, they don't actually. And that
kind of makes sense. I mean, you don't want to
trip. security system accidentally have cops
show up to your house where there might be a
hybrid spider creature and its baby just chilling.
So that's usually not a good idea. They might
have a security sign out front, but no actual
security inside. So, but no, there's no, there's
no security. My inclination is to pick the lock
and let ourselves in, but that's just me. I think
we should move the car around if there's any
place to put it where it can't be seen from the
street in case she, what's her face comes back?
Jessica. Yeah. Or Bree. Either. Or anyone. Any
of them. The ubiquitous she. She. I find it interesting
that all the husbands have been bitten, but none
of the wives. That we know of. Mm -hmm. Yeah.
Dun, dun, dun. Yeah, have we even seen, we saw
them all three normal at the apartment, right?
Okay. Yes, they all seem to be bite -free normal
at the apartment. Okay. Yes. Just kind of makes
me wonder if deals were made. Oh, yeah, husband
as sacrifice. Mm -hmm. Yeah. That's pretty typical.
Anyway. Yeah, it feels like par for the course,
really. Not to mention since they were trying
to leave with all the money. I mean, that's what
I would do. I mean. Well, I mean, let's be honest.
I think Omar had mentioned that they got into
this situation not knowing what they were getting
into, and now all of a sudden everything is way
too... They're in over their heads, and they're
making decisions, rash decisions, to keep themselves
from getting caught up in the web. So you pull
the car around to like the next block and park
it. Let me give you some explanation of what
the street looks like at this very point. There
is one light on at the second floor of this house,
of Bree's house. There is a car in the driveway.
It is a little sports car, probably a BMW. And
the other SUV that you saw Bree driving around
in is gone. The street in general is well lit.
There are lampposts every 10 -15 feet. And there
does not seem to be a lot of activity outside.
It is late fall at this point, I believe. So
it is cool outside right now. California cool
probably in the 60s. Their house is a two -story
house. There are windows all around. All of the
windows have their shades up, which is not out
of the ordinary when it gets dark. There is no
cellar or anything like that, but there might
be an attic. It's possible because it is a gabled
roof. So that's the situation. You park the car.
Sneaking up to the house, I won't make you make
a stealth roll. It's breaking into the house
without making too much noise that will require
a stealth roll. So there's a front door, a back
door, and a side door. So many doors. Yeah, it's
a big house. It's not a small house. It's probably
a four to five bedroom house from what you can
tell. So it's, you know, 2 ,500 square feet.
It's pretty big in two stories. Pick which door
you'd like to try to go through. Door number
one. There is the prize of a massive spider person.
I'm thinking probably the side door, if that
has the most coverage to it. It's probably along
a fence or something. Right. Well, and I should
be clear, the side door is off the garage. So
they have the house, then the garage, and the
side door's on the garage. Still might be the
best because it's the furthest from him to potentially
where he's at. So if the second floor light is
on, it might give us some distance and less...
chance for making too much noise. I mean, I guess
I could roll for it. I might boff it, seeing
as I got two really good rolls in a row. Or you
can get a great one. Yeah. With that extra eye
you've got, you can really, like, look closely
at the door as you... You are loving this way
too much, Wes. You are so evil. I kind of am.
Sure. How much bonus does that give me? I'll
give you a plus 20 because I'm being a dick,
so... I'll give you that plus 20. I got a 32
under what would be 70. Oh, wow. Nice. So you
click it open and you open it up slowly. I'm
going to count that as also your stealth roll
to get into the place. I'm not going to make
you all make a ton of stealth rolls. We're probably
going to make one or two. This first one is just
to get into the house. So going through, getting
into the house, and then we'll... If we need
to do another one later, I'll have you do another
one later. So for right now, everybody give me
a stealth roll. You want another one from me?
No, you're cleared. You're fine. Thinking I should
have stayed in the car. Yeah, I should have too.
38 under my 41. Nice. Wait a minute. I just got
all zeros. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. What? no i
cursed myself yeah i got zero oh no no yeah the
first time i got that i was like yes and everyone
around me was like no yeah i know and i changed
the dice too so it'd be easier for me to read
just for me to get that cool well that's easy
to read three big zeros did i even break my leg
and fall out the door like what how did i critically
fail i mean like i failed but It wasn't a crit,
so. Wow. 72 over my 51. That's funny. Okay. Somebody
tied our shoelaces together. Yeah. Or there's
just a landmine. It kind of makes sense. Spider
-Man's monster. I don't know. Protection. Well,
I'm prepared to die if I have to. Prepared to
die. I see a little prayer hand. Yeah. It's like,
honestly, Norman, you're kind of boring. I need
a new character. Let's go. Oh, geez. I feel better
if it happens. I'm just preparing myself. Poor
Norman. He's done so much. All right. So Wanda
gets in with no issue. Robin, you're not far
behind. You go in. And then we brought the Marx
brothers. And then the other two go in. And as
Norman's coming through the door. He trips on
the doorframe. and hits this trash bin that's
made out of rubber with a bunch of tools in it.
And it falls over, and then Maggie makes a similar
problem with hitting the car, and the car alarm
starts going off, and there's just all of this
ruckus going on around all of you. All of a sudden,
all these lights start going on, and you hear
the sound of someone, something, moving through
the house very quickly down towards... The garage.
What do you want to do? I would like to hide,
like, whichever way the door swings, I want to
be in, like, that gap, so when he comes in, I
could potentially attack if I needed to. All
right. Where are you going to go, Robin? I'm
going to go with Wanda, I guess. So you're both
going to try to get behind this door? Find your
own hiding place. This is true. I'm just bad
at things. Is there shelving in here? Yes, there's
shelving, there's big racks, there's a bunch
of bins and things, and then there's also tools
and... Okay, great. I'm going to go behind one
of the racks. Okay, so you hide behind a rack.
That way I can tip it over onto someone if necessary.
That's definitely an option. Maggie? I'm hiding
behind the pool toys and... Okay. You know, because
there's going to be a whole bunch of pool noodles
somewhere. All right. Finally, Norman. Well,
the car alarm going off is like insane. So I'm
thinking I might try to smash the window to just
like take care of that. We're already fucked
or I'm fucked. So might as well not have the
car alarm going off. If it's possible, I'd like
to try to like finagle it. Oh, are there car
keys in here? Like, do they hang the car keys
on the wall before I do anything insane? Let's
do a luck roll. So you want to get a 50 % or
under. Or under. Okay. Car keys. Come on. Save
my ass. Oh, I got a 50. Exactly. Yay. Yeah, that's
good. That's good. I'm like, am I angry? Am I
happy? You're relieved. Yes, there are car keys
hanging on a hook next to the door. Okay. Turning
off the alarm. With that, and if I could just
get far away from where the door will probably
swing open, that would also be ideal. I don't
know if I can do two things at once, but just
stand far from the car and turn off the alarm.
Yeah, you hit the car alarm and the car alarm
goes off. And give me just a straight up dex
check for hiding this. I'm going to make you
do a straight up check. Okay, that's one weird
thing I invested in. Okay. Woo, please, please.
26 under my, I think it's 70. All right. So you
hide behind something. Do they have like an old
cutout of a celebrity? I can just, I don't know
why that's where my brain went. Like Captain
Picard. Make it, make it so. The door swings
open and you were expecting Pete to walk out
the bottom, but instead. there is this large
spider -like creature that comes out on the ceiling,
like it's skittering along the ceiling. And its
body is really elongated, and you can see things
moving inside of it, almost like it possibly
could have more of these creatures growing in
it. It's gestating. And random human parts...
are growing kind of off of it. And then Pete
walks out, and both these things are looking
all around. Everybody needs to make a resolve
roll for me. Oh, no. My resolve is so low right
now. Oh, my gosh. Well, I did not make it. I
didn't make it. Okay. I actually made that one.
I made it. The tides have turned. So the people
who fucked up the stealth... are okay all right
so both of you just take three points so you
don't react you don't run away or anything like
that you stay in your hiding space but you take
a bit of a hit and this thing is looking around
it looks like maybe a third of a size bigger
than the last creature that you hit with the
car okay so this might be the oldest of the babies
and definitely looks like it is possibly creating
more or about to create more. And Pete looks
around the room and he starts to walk over towards
the open door and he's standing in front of the
open door and Wanda's standing behind the door
in this big ass two car garage. He's looking
around. He grabs the door handle of the door
to shut it. What do you want to do, Wanda? Surprise
attack. Oh, that's fine. That's... Yeah. Yeah.
Unarmed combat is one of the higher skills I
took. All right. So go ahead and give me an unarmed
combat and let me know what you get. And if you're
successful. Oh, shit. I got an 89 over my 60.
And there it is. I told you. Yeah, it was going
to be like, rolls are great until they're not.
I got a seven. I got a four. I got an 87. Yep.
It could be worse. It could be an 88. True. Yeah.
All right. He shuts the door and you lunge at
him. To explain what Pete looks like, his skin
is this. Very deep gray. It is obviously changed
quite a bit. He has black little eyes that have
popped out all over his face and his throat.
He has on a shirt, but you can tell that there
are small... mandibles or something growing out
from like little pincers. So he is probably,
Robin, if you were to guess as a doctor, probably
about 80 % spider blood at this point. Pretty
bad. And he opens his mouth up and he's got partial
human teeth and partial spider fangs and hisses
at you as you lunge forward and He's going to
try to knock you down to the ground so you can
make a dodge roll. Hey, Leona. Otherwise, he's
going to knock you to the ground. I did not succeed
on my dodge roll. All right. So you just take
one point as you're knocked down to the concrete
floor. We are now in combat, so we should go
into initiatives. So Wanda, I believe you have
65, right? For your decks. Uh, yeah. Maggie,
you have 55? Correct. Robin, what do you have?
70. Robin's the quick one. And then, uh, Norman?
70. Wow, Norman, I forgot you guys had... We
are very quick, so we can run away very fast.
Okay, Robin and Norman go simultaneously. So
you all pick, you just, it happens at the same
time. So whichever one of you wants to go first,
let me know what you're going to do. If you want
to hold your action, you can also hold your action.
So this is a situation where, okay, so he's still
up and there's another spider baby creature -y
thing. Creature on the ceiling. On the ceiling.
Cool. I am going to try to pick up a... I'm trying
to think of what I have in my garage that could
make effective weaponry. Well, I did knock down
all the tools. Yeah. So you can just pick a tool.
Yeah, I'm going to pick a shovel because everybody's
got a shovel. Everybody does have a shovel. And
I am going to try to thwack... The baby or Pete?
So my garage is like... If something was on the
ceiling, there's a zero way I could reach it.
The roof is not that high. Like a scissor lift.
Okay. So I get what you're saying is that some
garages have the really high. This is one of
the like box garages where it's probably eight
feet at most. Oh, awesome. Perfect. Now to try
to smack the spider off the ceiling. And back
towards Pete, ideally. Okay, cool. So yeah, Pete's
on the side of the garage where you guys came
in. And the spider creature is coming through
the door that is connected to the house. So they're
on the opposite side of the garage. So you want
to try to hit the spider to go back into the
house? Yeah. Yeah, that sounds like a better
plan than what I was planning. Okay, I just wanted
to clarify what you were attempting to do. I
believe there's a melee weapon, so let's use
that. There is. Go for it. Come on, dice, don't
fail me now. It's a 28 under my 31. Nice. By
the way, all the failed rolls, make sure you're
putting a check next to the skill. Oh yeah, I'm
wrapping up those check marks. Yes, okay, okay.
All right, so you smack this thing in the head.
Roll a d6 for me and let me know how much damage
you do. Shovel to the face. A very middling three.
All right, so the next to go is Norman. Okay,
so at the same time that she's throwing or hitting
the thing with the shovel. Yeah, she's smacking
it with the shovel. Right on the ceiling. We
got Pete. Well, I will. make use of my spilled
tools of my horrible mistake. And let's see if
we can get as many wrenches in my hand as possible.
And I also want to throw them like throwing stars.
Dodge a wrench. If you can dodge a wrench, you
can dodge a ball. Don't dodge this one. Thank
you. I like this idea that like simultaneously
Robin and Norman like look at each other, look
at the tools and just dash in. Well, you either
do that or you die. So I think that's good thinking.
I've had too many good rolls. I'm scared now.
Welcome to my world. I always like saying shushes.
So they don't really have a throw skill. So let's
just... I will be nice and I will let you use
your dex. What? Damn. See, I'm not always mean.
I do nice things. I mean... Thank you. Thank
you. I feel like this is my redemption. You know,
it's like, okay, I took the lemons. We're making
lemonade. Let's go. All right. I should have
said that before I rolled. Let's see. Okay. No,
we're okay. 37 under my 70. It's go time. All
right. So you huck a couple of these. Large wrenches
at this thing. I'm going to let you roll a D6
as well. So you slam into the thing and it's
starting to back back into the house. Probably
was just like, we thought it was a rat. What's
going on? We were watching Netflix together.
This is terrible. I just imagine them being like
spider bros on the couch. Just hanging out. Just
dating. Okay. So next up, I believe, is Wanda.
Well, it worked out so great last time. So let's
do it again. Another unarmed combat rule against
Pete. I'm going to try and take him down. OK,
so you're on the ground. You're kind of prone.
Pete's legs are next to you. So you're going
to try to sweep his legs out from underneath
them. Yeah. OK, sounds good. Dice don't fail
me now. No, dice don't fail me now. I got a six.
Wow. Okay, so yeah, you sweep his legs and he
falls on the ground. So that's your turn. Next
turn, you can get up and attack him or you can
pull your weapon and shoot. I don't carry a weapon
because I don't have points in doing weapon stuff.
Maybe somebody needs some training. No, because
I'm an expert in unarmed combat. That was the
whole point. Well, you can get up and unarmed
combat him in the face. Poke him in the eyes.
That brings us to Maggie. All the eyes. Is there
any bug spray in this garage? Yes. Oh, no. Oh,
yes. Oh, yes. I'll say yes for cinematic reasons.
Okay. So I grab the bug spray and I start spraying
it like at the baby's face to try and get it
to go away back into the house. Okay. Well, that's
a really odd thing. So I'll give you a dex roll
for that. I mean, it's not a hard thing to do,
but I think it's just getting, you know. close
enough to spraying it and not accidentally spraying
Norman. Or actually, Robin. Go ahead. This has
been very enjoyable, I will say. No, I will say
I did not make the roll, but I will say that
it's probably spraying back in my face. What'd
you roll? I rolled a 90. Oh! He had the nozzle
the wrong direction. I had the nozzle the wrong
way. So yeah, there's just this cloud of bug
spray in the air. All right. So now it is Pete's
turn. Pete's action is going to be trying to
scramble up to his feet. Unacceptable. He's getting
up to his feet, but that's the only thing that
he can do. So he starts to get up. The next is
the baby's turn. The baby is going to go back
inside the house, starts to skitter off into
the darkness. So it disappears into the house
and we come back to Norman and Robin. As soon
as it's moving backwards, go in to shut that
door so that we're only dealing with Pete. Okay,
cool. All right, great. That's a great idea.
So you shut the door. Robin. Okay, that shovel
has worked pretty well for me so far. And Pete's
on the ground now. So shovel to the face. Pete's
starting to get up, but yeah, I'll give you a
plus 20 % to hit Pete. Shovel to the important
parts of Pete. Yeah. Where are those now? Where
are those now? Oh, holy shit. I rolled an 11.
Oh, wow. Yay. So explain to me how you hit Pete
and I'll give you double damage. I'll give you
12 points of damage on Pete for this hit. Okay.
Well, I'm going to say that Pete with his weird
mix of spider and human teeth has really freaked
me out and I don't appreciate it in any way,
shape or form. Also bites are bad. So I take
the shovel directly to his face. All right. So
I want to set this up. Wanda's on the floor about
to get up. Pete is standing over Wanda, maybe
like four feet as he's getting up off the ground.
Robin comes around the back, swings as hard as
possible, hitting Pete in the back of the head.
There's a bit of resistance for a moment, but
then it goes straight through the spider Pete's
head and it explodes in this big. yellow ball
of goo that rains all over the area, including
Wanda. And it smells terrible. No, thank you.
Oops. And then the body just falls to the ground,
decapitated. Never going to get it out of these
clothes. At least I didn't blow us all up this
time. Pete is dead. Pete is no longer with us.
He is gone. Good. All right. So what do you all
want to do now? Are we, we're out of combat?
You're out of combat for right now because the
spider baby is in the house doing full retreat
and Pete is dead. I want to take 16 showers.
I'm going to reach down to help Wanda up. Okay.
Semi -apologetically. The way that I'm seeing
Wanda is almost like Big Trouble in Little China.
He's always like getting into stuff and like
the worst stuff is happening to him as the game
is. He fails like every role. Oh, I know. He
has such good intentions and then he just bops
every time. So what is the plan? You've got this
baby that's relatively large in this house. God
knows how badly the infestation is. And it looks
like it might be able to reproduce eggs on its
own. So now can we set shit on fire? Can we burn?
No, we have to find that book. We have to find
the book. I have been thinking about that. No,
if you don't want to be a spider person, if you
don't want to be Pete and no one wants to be
Pete. Cause Pete dead. Yeah. Pete's bone structure
had gotten to the point where a shovel could
go through his entire head. So that's not good.
No, let's not be Pete. Well, first I'm going
to barf forever and then we should probably go
into the house. Maybe they have like, you know,
one of those weird Midwestern mudroom shower
things. In Fresno? Even though they're in Fresno?
A girl can dream. I don't understand how the
West works either. They might have, they might
have a laundry room with a sink at least. Right.
Or at least some like earthquake water, you know,
it is California. Oh my God. There's earthquake
water. Yeah. Just dump it on you. FBI agent,
wet t -shirt contest. Go. Which is really disappointing
because you're in a suit anyway. God, this is
the most boring thing ever. It's just black polyester.
anyway wow it's not even a good suit it's not
even a good suit uh so you pour a bunch of this
water because there is a their their laundry
room is in just off their garage i need some
of this off of me so you get this off of you
and you can hear this thing in the house moving
all about and making noises i'm before we go
further in can we glance around to see if anybody
showed up after all that noise should we make
sure we're alone at least like i don't know look
out and see if there's if that cutlass is gone
for real for real the cutlass is gone you take
a look out and luckily so far it seems like no
one's noticed the noise going on Also, I'm willing
to bet that if it's like any other California
neighborhood, it'd have to be a pretty bad, horrible
noise, like really loud for anybody to say anything.
So fair enough. It's like, is it a gunshot? No.
Okay. Yeah. None of you fired a weapon and the
car alarm was only on for a few seconds. They
have to be on for hours before people are like,
all right, what the fuck? Yeah. Are we locked
out? OK, that's so. But time is of the essence
because you don't know what this thing is going
to do. Is there like a propane torch or something
in here? Back to the spider. I'm not setting
the whole house on fire. I want to set the spider
on fire. If it's full of babies, we're going
to want to fry them. Yeah, because if you've
ever stepped on a pregnant spider. the babies
just go everywhere. Yeah, especially if they're
already moving around. Why do you do this? That's
a thing. Because I've had it happen. It's disgusting.
It's like they're not, it's like the spider's
not. pregnant at that point but the babies are
like are on yeah but i guess for puja's knowledge
yeah just be like to be fair they're not pre
-born babies like running obviously puja wants
to know more about this for the look on her face
this is a wikipedia thing she will have to look
up now um okay yeah yeah i'm just like okay oh
god how are we gonna find a book in a house of
spiders without burning them is a good question
um Well, you have that thing of bug spray, so
that could take out the tiny ones at least, right?
Yeah. It's not just like a little can, is it?
How much bug spray is in here? It's probably
a normal -sized can that you didn't empty it
or anything. It's probably got one or two more
uses in it, but it's not like an Orkin fucking
container thing that you pump and then spray
everywhere. And was there a propene? Torch like
one, not like a big guy, like seriously, like
one of those handheld jobbies. I'll do a luck
roll for that. Might as well, if potentially
exists. I mean, Bree seems like the kind of person
who would make creme brulee herself. I'm going
to say that, yes, I rolled a four. So yes, there
is a little propane torch thing there. I'm going
to grab it. And I'm going to keep my shovel because
it's done pretty well for me so far. Okay. And
it's covered in the blood of my enemies. Yeah.
I'm thinking, what can I bring in that's helpful
at this point? So you're looking around for anything.
And your big fear is that this thing is going
to go out the window at some point. So you look
outside and you notice that there is a house
just across the street and probably two doors
down that is in the middle of construction. And
there is a... like one of those Earthmover bulldozer
things out in front. I'm giving you a gift right
now. It's a gift. So. Deus Ex Machina. I've heard
your complaints and I put a large machine there
so that. Heavy machinery. Oh, I have an idea,
guys. We can get this thing out of the house.
And into an area where it can be smashed by a
giant bulldozer thing. I have it covered. Nice.
All right. So do you want to go and get the bulldozer?
Yeah, I probably should. And get it set up while
they're going in to push this thing out onto
the street where you can actually destroy it?
Sounds good, everyone. All right, cool. Let's
make dreams happen. All right. Well, actually,
this is a good place to stop right here. Because
I think this is a good place to stop. So, cause
that's such a big scene. I figured it's going
to be a massive scene. And if it goes tits up,
what's going to be hysterical. So thank you all
so much. This was a lot of fun. It was a bit
quirky, but I'm fine with that. I think sometimes
you need that in your life, Patreon and coffee
people. Thank you so much for your support. You
know where we are, you know, where all these
wonderful people are. They're going to say their
Twitter stuff real quick. Just. So it's out there.
But again, thank you for your support. Let's
start with Saint. Hello, I'm Saint or Saint Spider.
And you can find me on Twitter under Saint Spider
TV. You guys know the drill. And yeah, just check
there for updates. If I'm doing any other games
by the time this comes out. Hello, I am Pooja
and you can find me around the internet. as forgotten
saves and on the happy jacks rpg back catalog
and possibly you know streaming a weekly game
who knows the future is a mystery Hey, y 'all.
I have been and will continue to be Mac Bouvier.
You can find me everywhere as at StrangelikeThat.
Hey, I'm Michelle. You can find me on the internets
at Michulhu, M -I -C -H -U -L -H -U. And you
can find my music and Wes's sound effect if you
subscribe to the Platemail Games catalog through
BattleBards. And I am Wes Otis. You can find
me at Platemail Games on Twitter. Again, thank
you so much for backing the show. And we will
see you next month with... a huge scene that
will, I'm excited to see what happens. So we'll
see you next month. Bye.