1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:11,000 Welcome back to Heidi and Justin unfiltered. I am your host Justin Metcalf and you are their other host. 2 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:12,000 Heidi. 3 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:24,000 Thanks so much for being here. We are talking about mindset, the importance of mindset in our industry, which is the beauty industry. 4 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:33,000 And we have had some pretty amazing discussions so far. We are now on episode four of this little mini series on mindset. 5 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:40,000 And it's a fun part, it's another fun part, where we talk about how to cultivate a positive mindset. 6 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:51,000 And we were talking in the break that maybe this is where I shine because the transition from fixed to growth. 7 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:56,000 I was trying to think of a funnier way to say it, but the only things that came into mind were swear words. 8 00:00:56,000 --> 00:01:06,000 But yeah, having a not so great attitude and shifting it. So thanks again for being here. We're going to jump right in. 9 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:11,000 We want to make sure that this time you're spending with us is valuable. So thank you again for listening. 10 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:20,000 So let's talk about self-awareness. One of the keys to cultivating a positive mindset is a self-awareness. 11 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:27,000 Being able to identify, I'm not going to say being able to, just doing it. We're all able to. 12 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:35,000 Identify your limiting beliefs and your negative thought patterns. And I said in the break, I'm really good at this. 13 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:41,000 So Heidi gave me this look. Her eyebrow went up and she was like, excuse me, clarifying question, sir. 14 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:46,000 She said you're good at identifying them. I said, no, I'm good at having. 15 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:53,000 I'm good at having limited beliefs and negative thought patterns. Yeah. I'm an expert. Yeah. 16 00:01:53,000 --> 00:02:04,000 But because I have very recently become very good at identifying them. I do feel like an expert in that field too. 17 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:08,000 Well, you're getting there. Oh, thanks. You're welcome. 18 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:17,000 So what are your thoughts on that self-awareness and the identification of these things, the limiting beliefs and negative thoughts? 19 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:24,000 So this is why we've talked about, we're really kind of talking to that middle 60% of people, right? 20 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:37,000 Right. Because I believe if you have a growth mindset, you're going to be able to find and identify these beliefs. 21 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:41,000 But if you're a fixed mindset, you're not even listening to this podcast. 22 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:48,000 You tuned out after episode one and you went on your merry way and said they don't know what they're talking about. They're stupid. 23 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:51,000 Maybe like they're going to listen to a funny Simpson podcast. 24 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:57,000 Or, you know, they're listening to some other business one thinking it'll say something different and then they're all going to say the same thing. 25 00:02:57,000 --> 00:03:02,000 I mean, let's be honest. That is how you were for how many years. 26 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:05,000 I don't want to talk about it. Yeah, exactly. 27 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:12,000 The point is that I mean, yeah, to your point that 60%. 28 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:20,000 So just to clarify, we're talking about, you know, top 20% top of their field, best in the business, bottom 20%. 29 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:27,000 I'm never going to change your waste of my time. Those of us that are in the middle. Right. 30 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:31,000 We know that we can get up. We can push higher. Right. 31 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:37,000 There's no shortage of people to be at the bottom. And that's you know what? 32 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:41,000 You're going to do what you're going to do. But we want to talk about how to get better. 33 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:47,000 So identifying your limiting beliefs. I. I really did. 34 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:55,000 I spent a lot of time having these limiting beliefs and you would say to us, say us because our kids, too. 35 00:03:55,000 --> 00:04:00,000 I've passed that on to some of our kids. I can't do this. 36 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:05,000 I know I can't. I keep wanting to say I don't want, but it was I can't. 37 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:11,000 I can't go to work today because I'm sick. Yeah, that's my favorite one. 38 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:16,000 I'm sick. I don't feel good. OK, well, what are your symptoms? My head hurts. My tummy hurts. 39 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:22,000 I don't feel I'm sick. I'm sick record. I didn't say my tummy hurts because I'm a man. 40 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:27,000 I'm a grown ass man. Don't look at. 41 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:32,000 That's the one time. Right. Anyway. 42 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:38,000 And what was my response? It's usually. Yeah, it's in your head. 43 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:42,000 I mean, who doesn't wake up and have a bad morning? Who doesn't? 44 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:48,000 And stress and anxiety, they will cause physical ailments. Yeah, I'm not saying that's not true. 45 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:52,000 What I am saying is what you have is not contagious. Get your ass out of bed. You can go to work. 46 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:58,000 You're not sick. Right. You are making yourself sick and you have symptoms of sickness. 47 00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:07,000 That is undoubtable. Right. But your mindset was I have to stay in bed because I'm sick. 48 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:14,000 Whereas my mindset was, yeah, you probably feel like crap. We all have those days that that happens. 49 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:18,000 But why does that make you not accomplish something? Right. 50 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:27,000 So from my point of view, for so many years, first of all, I was like, how how would you just have the perfect immune system? 51 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:32,000 You jerk and like that perfect metabolism. Right. 52 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:36,000 OK, no, that's different because that's a thing. 53 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:45,000 But I would also feel like you have no sympathy or compassion for people when they get sick. 54 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:52,000 Yeah. And it's just so mean. And I would just get so in my head about how how mean that was. 55 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:58,000 And I mean, I realize now much, much later the difference. 56 00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:09,000 So now when I wake up and I don't want to wake up, we go to the gym now twice a week at my alarm goes off at five twenty five. 57 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:16,000 And I don't want to go. And I remember getting up a couple of weeks ago. 58 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:20,000 And this is not to just toot my own horn. It's just I'm recognizing the difference. 59 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:27,000 But I woke up and I did not feel good. I had symptoms of illness. 60 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:33,000 And I said to you, I don't feel very good. 61 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:36,000 I can't remember what you said. 62 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:40,000 It wasn't a challenge and it wasn't like you weren't putting me down and weren't asking. 63 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,000 Like, I think you just asked me, are you going? 64 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:45,000 Then are you going to the gym? I think that's what you said. 65 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:50,000 And I just knew this is my new life. 66 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:54,000 I don't want to fall back into what I've done for 40 years. 67 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:59,000 So I said, yeah, I'm going to the gym. You know, I didn't feel that I think I even threw up in like in the middle of the night. 68 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:03,000 Like, it sucked. I did not feel good. And you know what? 69 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:09,000 I went to the gym and it wasn't very fun, but I did it. 70 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:11,000 And you weren't contagious. None of us got sick. 71 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:13,000 No, you know, and that's part of it, too. 72 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:18,000 Like, yeah, if you've got a fever, you've got hot and cold sweats, that's totally different. 73 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:26,000 Totally different. And I have never to to be honest, I've never made any of my kids go to school when they're truly sick. 74 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:29,000 Yeah, no, she's not like a heartless monster. 75 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:31,000 I don't want to make sure I'm not painting that picture. 76 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:35,000 And those times when I have what what's called the man cold. 77 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:39,000 Yeah, no, I don't love that. That's what that's called. 78 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:45,000 Or the fact that it's a stereotype for a reason. Yeah, it's for a reason. 79 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:56,000 When I had the man cold and I could barely get out of bed and I had the hot, the sweats and the chills all night long. 80 00:07:56,000 --> 00:08:06,000 Like, hey, yeah, be in bed all day. But then the next day, if I was still doing it, that's when you would be like, OK, come on. 81 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:10,000 Yeah. And in reality, yeah, I was feeling better. Yeah. 82 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:14,000 But I just didn't want to get up and do because I wasn't 100 percent. 83 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:18,000 So why can't I just lay in bed again for another day? 84 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:26,000 And then I realized. You don't have a perfect immune system. You got sick, too. 85 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:30,000 You just you acted differently. Yeah. 86 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:34,000 I mean, I get sick. I've been sick. Yeah. 87 00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:40,000 I I joke about this because I've never had to cancel a day because I've been sick. 88 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:45,000 Come on hairdressers, we know like it's not like me calling in sick to work. 89 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:50,000 No, I got to reschedule like all my clients and I'm not I'm I'm booked out. 90 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:59,000 I don't have somewhere to just put them in that same week, let alone possibly that same month that would work time wise, day wise, all of the things for them. 91 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:03,000 So and that's. I don't get sick leave. 92 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:06,000 That's if I don't work, I don't make money. Right. 93 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:12,000 That's not one or the other. Whereas I was a banker and if I needed to miss a day. Yeah. 94 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:16,000 You just call in sick. Yeah, they figure it out. Yep. 95 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:21,000 So I always joke because I'm like, I've never had to cancel a day from being sick. 96 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:25,000 Like, God just knows I can only be sick on the days that I don't have work. 97 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:30,000 But I honestly do believe our mind is that powerful. Right. 98 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:37,000 That that is what happened is that the days that I was not feeling really good and really should stay home. 99 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:41,000 It was always on my day off almost always. 100 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:47,000 Well, I think there's I found that to be true in a lot of ways, too, because 101 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:53,000 the power of your mind is just it's it's amazing, but it's also so stupid. 102 00:09:53,000 --> 00:10:08,000 When I first was getting into my banking career, not long after we were married, I I was studying for this test, a series six test to become licensed to sell, you know, insurance and. 103 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:16,000 Yeah. And I got sick the morning of the test for years. 104 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:20,000 I was like, what a what a horror. The timing so dumb. 105 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:25,000 And my wife is so mean, she says it's all in my head that I did it to myself. 106 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:31,000 What kind of sociopath? Sick twisted human. Yeah. 107 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:38,000 And the irony of the of the whole thing is at the time you had to score a 70 to pass and I scored a 69. 108 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:46,000 I missed it by one point. And so for years, you know, and I went I retook it and got worse every time. 109 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:52,000 I think I got a 66 my next time and then a 58. And then I never took it again. 110 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:57,000 But all three of those days that I tested, you were sick. I was sick. 111 00:10:57,000 --> 00:11:08,000 What are the chances, Heidi, that I would get a cold that no one else in our home had before or after the day of my test? 112 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:13,000 And then I was better the next day. Yeah. What are the chances? 113 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:26,000 Yes. Call stress. I didn't have an understanding or a belief that that was possible, that you could stress yourself out so much that you started to exhibit symptoms of sickness. 114 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:30,000 Yeah. Now we see it in our 13 year old. 115 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:43,000 We've seen it all. Yeah. But I've also come a long way in that regard, too, because when when our kids would say, call us or, you know, now they text us, I don't feel good. 116 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:49,000 Instead of, oh, no. OK, I'm coming right now. Yeah, I'll be right there. 117 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:54,000 I'll come pick you up, which I mean, my answer was like, well, I'm at work. So right now. 118 00:11:54,000 --> 00:12:02,000 No, and I had the option. But now, I mean, our kid texted today, I feel sick. 119 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:08,000 And I texted right away. Well, it's a good thing there's only about an hour and a half left to school. 120 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:12,000 Fuck up, little miss. She flipped him off. 121 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:17,000 She did. She sent me then a text privately with the middle finger. 122 00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:20,000 We should talk about that more when we're done with this privately. 123 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:24,000 That might be another podcast. That might have to be. Lord. 124 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:30,000 Dick move. What kind of parents we are. 125 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:39,000 But I've passed on that gene, you know, that belief system, and they've got to train the way out of it. 126 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:45,000 I think a lot of kids do that. Like, you're not born inherently able to just have a positive mindset all the time. 127 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:53,000 No, it's no, it's definitely something that grows in time, but it does depend on and that actually is really important to talk about, too. 128 00:12:53,000 --> 00:13:01,000 It depends on who is in your your circle. Yeah, it very much depends on what are you surrounding yourself with? 129 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:08,000 Right. Because you cannot stay in a growth mindset when you are surrounded by fixed mindset. 130 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:14,000 Right. It's I found that it's kind of like the same thing we do, like a 12 step program. 131 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:19,000 So like you're a recovering alcoholic should not be spending his time at a bar. Right. 132 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:29,000 It's it's the same thing. If you if you want to be lifted up and inspired and have positivity in your life, 133 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:35,000 don't surround yourself with things that are dramatic and tear others down. Right. 134 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:39,000 Because that's something that's within your control. Right. It is. 135 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:47,000 And here's the other sad truth is a lot of salons, just the culture of salons, there are they're changing. 136 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:56,000 Times are changing. But until we get to a full, complete change on this, a lot of the culture in the salon is that backroom banter. 137 00:13:56,000 --> 00:14:05,000 Yeah. It's that it's that what they're all back there bashing the no show, bashing the client that had left a bad review bashing. 138 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:13,000 And those are the things you want to steer clear from. Those are the those are the things that you don't want influencing your day. 139 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:22,000 And I know this because I went through a period in my own career where I was fixed because the people I was surrounded with were fixed. 140 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:28,000 And I didn't realize it until I got around growth again. And when I got around growth again, 141 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:36,000 it's it's something that as as someone who wants to continue to grow and wants to enjoy my life, 142 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:45,000 what I'm doing, find joy and happiness. I have to control what I can control, what's within my sphere of control. 143 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:50,000 And what's within my sphere of control is who I associate with. Right. 144 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:56,000 And some people argue with that. They're like, well, I can't control who I work with. Well, you can control how much time you spend around them. 145 00:14:56,000 --> 00:15:02,000 I have a stylist recently that was reaching out to me and she's on her third salon in one year. 146 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:06,000 And she's finding the same thing at this one that she found at the last two. 147 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:11,000 But when she starts all of these new salons, they are all pretty new and they're perfect. 148 00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:14,000 And she's so excited. And then it's the people within. 149 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:22,000 And it's it comes to a point in which you have to realize, yes, you can only control what's in your sphere of control. 150 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:27,000 But moving from salon to salon to salon isn't going to change the fact you're always going to have those people there. 151 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:31,000 Yeah. So what do you do? Limit yourself. Yeah. 152 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:40,000 Don't leave yourself open to that and find what it is going to take to keep you in that growth mindset. Right. 153 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:45,000 So you can still work in this salon. You can work around those people, but don't find yourself in the back room talking to them. 154 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:55,000 Then maybe stay out front and watch somebody see what they're doing. Maybe when you have downtime, instead of staying in a salon, walk outside. 155 00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:59,000 Go look at the buildings and the businesses around you. Where can you grow your target market? 156 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:08,000 Where can you grow within where you're at? If you love this salon, the location, the vibe of the salon, it's got to be the same in that area. 157 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:21,000 But if you just keep sitting in the toxicity or the toxic environment and just keep allowing it to seep in, you will find yourself going down that negative route. 158 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:31,000 Yeah. I mean, it's kind of like making a stew or a soup. You sit in that pot, you're going to absorb those flavors and the flavors from the other things that are in there. 159 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:37,000 It's just the way it is. Right. So if you good and bad. Exactly. 160 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:47,000 So I think self-awareness is definitely the first part. It's the first part in a lot of other programs like self-help programs or recovery programs. 161 00:16:47,000 --> 00:17:00,000 You've got to acknowledge that it's there first. So identifying your limiting beliefs and putting a name to them, because it also makes it less of a mythical creature and more of something you can tackle. 162 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:09,000 So then we start with how what else you can do to cultivate a positive mindset, affirmations and positive self-talk. Yeah. 163 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:19,000 So one thing that came to mind was sticky notes. Yeah. You know, people put sticky notes all around. Yeah. Like on the mirrors or. Yeah. 164 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:27,000 And it was really funny in the morning. Yeah. I mean, there's a really funny joke about that in the new movie with Ryan Gosling. 165 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:35,000 He plays a stunt man and the character that he is stunting for, you know, the main actor is dumb. 166 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:44,000 He has to use post-it notes for every aspect of his life. So there's hundreds. Really funny joke. But that works for a lot of people. Yeah. 167 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:52,000 Or they write little inspirational messages on their mirror. And I know it's cliche, especially in Utah. People get a lot of shit for it. 168 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:58,000 Having stuff in your home like live, laugh, love and love is grown here. 169 00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:05,000 And I mean, yeah, we make fun sometimes. Well, I don't because I'm not a dick. But. 170 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:11,000 That's positive affirmation. You know, first of all, I haven't forbid somebody put something in their home that makes them feel better. 171 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:21,000 But that's what we're talking about. Positive affirmation. Find a way that works for you. Right. Like for me, it was it's my screen savers. 172 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:28,000 It's my social media. Like I I curated a social media. Now I'm adding puppies into it because it's freaking cute. 173 00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:34,000 But I've curated a social media of when I open it up, I see the hair side because that is it is work. 174 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:39,000 That's I view social media as work. I don't view it as what most people do. 175 00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:49,000 But the other thing that I see on there that's not just hair are those positive affirmations, those mindset things, those things that keep me in the right mindset. 176 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:55,000 And I curated that when I see something I really like, I save it. I I like it. 177 00:18:55,000 --> 00:19:07,000 I comment on it so that I get more like it. Yeah. And it really is very important to curate in your life what's going to work for you. 178 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:16,000 Like I said, for me, it's my screen savers on my phone. It's when I do open up my social media, it's seeing those in my feed on the daily basis, 179 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:21,000 reposting them to my story so that other people can see them. Yeah. 180 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:26,000 But I don't do it because I hope somebody else sees it. I do it for me. 181 00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:36,000 Well, I think there's a lot to say about understanding how algorithms work, specifically the ones that we spend our time on like TikTok and Instagram reels. 182 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:47,000 When you interact with something, the algorithms that are built into these platforms will then send more like it your way. Right. 183 00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:55,000 So if you're the kind of person who, when you're stressed and when you're upset, you open social media to get that dopamine release, 184 00:19:55,000 --> 00:20:03,000 you're probably not engaging with the with the kind of social media that you really that's healthy for you. Right. 185 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:09,000 You're maybe seeing stuff that's just encouraging that those thoughts, the toxicity. 186 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:21,000 But when you take a more mindful approach at your social media absorption and your consumption, it changes. 187 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:28,000 So when you see a reel, it's really funny, but it's like dark humor. First of all, we're friends. 188 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:36,000 Okay. My algorithm is nevermind. Point is, he's probably already seen it. 189 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:42,000 I bet I have. But for me, that's, you know, and I want to get out sometimes. That's what I do. 190 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:50,000 But that's not a toxic thing for you. You find it funny. Right. But if that's something that's hurting you, don't engage with it. Right. 191 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:55,000 And there are a lot of different steps you can take. Don't like it or like it and you'll see more. 192 00:20:55,000 --> 00:21:03,000 Don't comment or comment and you'll see more. But to get rid of it, start searching things you do want to see more of. Yes. 193 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:11,000 And actively, actively like not in search. And yes, they'll all all of these give you the opportunity to to fix your algorithm. 194 00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:19,000 Right. If you don't want to see something on your feed, say don't watch it, swipe past it, keep going. 195 00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:29,000 And the more you go past it, the more you don't interact with it. Yeah. The more it gets the hand can also click on it and say, I don't want you to show me this anymore. 196 00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:36,000 Right. And it's not perfect. It's going to keep sending him for a little bit. But I can attest eventually it stops. Right. 197 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:43,000 So the point, though, is that you've got to be mindful about it. Yeah. You got to be mindful mindlessly consuming your content. 198 00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:49,000 Then, you know, you're going to get what you get. But all of growth mindset is about being mindful. Exactly. 199 00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:58,000 And knowing that it's not I can only do it this way. I can't do that. I can't do this. It's it's take that word can't out of your vocabulary. 200 00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:07,000 You are not able to use. I can't ever again. You can't use it. You can't. You are not able. 201 00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:14,000 That's why I said you were very mindful of the words you chose. Yeah. You are not able to use that word. 202 00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:20,000 I can't ever again because it's not I can't. It's what can I do. Right. 203 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:28,000 And I will say that is one of the biggest things that I whenever I look at anything in life, that is my thought process. 204 00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:34,000 It's not I can't. It's but what can I again? What's within my sphere of control? 205 00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:40,000 And there's more than one way to do everything. Yeah. 206 00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:44,000 But if you don't have the right mindset, you're not going to come to that conclusion ever. 207 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:50,000 So the next thing is visualization. There are so many techniques. There are lots of different. 208 00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:57,000 It's in movies. It's in karate mentalities and Tai Chi. 209 00:22:57,000 --> 00:23:05,000 It's in what's the very might you sit down yoga is there's so many things about visualization. 210 00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:11,000 Visualize an attack from the waterboy, one of the greatest documentaries of football. 211 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:19,000 I love it. I you've got to be able to visualize your goal. 212 00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:29,000 But if you if you're if your vision is so clouded by the things that are bringing you down in activity, then you can't visualize it, which is where a lot of people get stuck. 213 00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:34,000 So you've got to be able to visualize your goal. 214 00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:42,000 The power behind visualizing your success is insurmountable. 215 00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:53,000 And it may sound corny or even cliche, but you really there's just so much power in visualizing yourself at the finish line. 216 00:23:53,000 --> 00:24:02,000 Let's take an example. What's what's an example we could use here like a goal in your life or my life or just a generic one. 217 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:07,000 Getting late. So let's let's let's just say buying a home. 218 00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:13,000 OK, now I know for a lot of people right now, this is a hard thing to visualize and you're not wrong. 219 00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:17,000 It has gotten harder to buy a home and there are a lot of factors. 220 00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:23,000 But instead of focusing on the factors that are outside of your control, start with visualizing it. 221 00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:28,000 And again, it sounds corny, but visualize yourself in your dream home. 222 00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:38,000 Visualize it and then your ability to break down the tasks that you need to accomplish to make it happen become easier. 223 00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:45,000 So then when the mindset is when the reality is, well, I have to have forty thousand dollars to put down as a down payment. 224 00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:52,000 If that's your truth for the home that you want to be in and that's what you've got to do, then accept it. 225 00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:58,000 OK, that's my reality. But now you're visualizing that and you accept it. 226 00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:04,000 You've identified where you're falling short with your bad mindset issues. 227 00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:10,000 That's so I'm going to go back to when we started this podcast and my husband didn't know where to start. 228 00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:19,000 And he's got these outlines and everything. You know, as someone with a growth mindset and when you take something like buying a home and you take it to someone like me. 229 00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:25,000 First of all, I'm a hairdresser. I'm not in real estate. I've never I mean, we have bought a home together now. 230 00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:34,000 Yeah. But first time I'm going to go to the experts like I'm not going to be what do I what do I need to start this? 231 00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:37,000 I'm going to ask somebody else. Well, what do I need to start this? Sure. 232 00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:44,000 And then I kind of I do kind of just jump in and learn as I go. But I'm learning as I go. 233 00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:51,000 But you're also able to trust that the expert is going to say, OK, you need forty thousand dollars down. 234 00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:56,000 You need to you need to do this. And then but I feel like your mindset already is, OK, I'm going to take their advice. 235 00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:59,000 Yeah. And then I'll figure it out. I'm going to earn forty thousand dollars. 236 00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:04,000 So then my next step is and it still comes back to breaking it down. Right. 237 00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:09,000 What are those bite sized chunks? I'm not looking at forty thousand dollars going. How am I going to get forty thousand dollars? 238 00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:14,000 I'm going, OK, well, if I cut this out and I cut this out and I cut this out and I'm still happy. 239 00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:17,000 Yeah. Like I want a home more than I want that. Yeah. 240 00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:26,000 And so that and then it's like at the end of the month, you budget, you see how you are, you see what you've done and you go, where are we doing good? 241 00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:32,000 Yeah. And could we do better? And so breaking it down, though, is what it always is going to come down to. 242 00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:41,000 So instead of focusing on I have to get forty thousand dollars, how am I going to do that? It then becomes I put away four hundred dollars this month. 243 00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:45,000 This month. What can I do better? Or was that good enough? Exactly. I mean, four hundred dollars in one month. 244 00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:48,000 I mean, that's going to take forever to get to forty thousand. It is. 245 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:54,000 So just an example. Right. You don't have to. But that is where but that is where I'm going to go. 246 00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:58,000 Could I have worked more? Right. Instead of instead of. 247 00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:05,000 And this is what I do instead of going out or coming home after work that day when that one client wanted to get in that night. 248 00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:08,000 And it would have put me there later than I want to work. Yeah. 249 00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:14,000 Well, what did I do when I got home anyway? Like, I'm still the stylist that works nights and weekends. 250 00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:19,000 And a lot of stylists in my position are like, no, I'm done with that crap. I work my time. 251 00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:24,000 I don't need to do that anymore. More power to you. I think that's fantastic. 252 00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:29,000 But for me and where we are with our life right now and where our kids are in their lives right now, 253 00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:38,000 I mean, I can come home after five o'clock, but I'm usually sitting doing nothing because you're busy doing your thing. 254 00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:42,000 The kids are busy doing their thing. I'm not missing home life. Right. 255 00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:48,000 Now, does that mean that when my son has a band concert, I can't take that night off? Oh, no, for sure. I'm taking that off. 256 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:55,000 I'm going to a band concert if my daughter has a soccer game or something. 257 00:27:55,000 --> 00:28:02,000 Like, I feel like I can definitely mark those times out in my schedule. You need to know beforehand. Sure. 258 00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:07,000 I'm not afraid to take the nights off, but I'm not afraid to work them. Right. 259 00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:15,000 I'm not limiting myself in my earning potential because I think I should be able to not have to. 260 00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:18,000 Yeah. I think that's a big difference. Definitely. 261 00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:31,000 And I'm glad that we have both sides of this here because there's still a lot of things that you say that as a recovering fix mindset person. 262 00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:37,000 It's I mean, it's it's it's hard to fathom, you know, and it's it's tough. 263 00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:44,000 But you're you're absolutely right. When you just have that when you've done it so much that it's second nature, 264 00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:48,000 that's when you know that you're you know what? You're you're going to be OK. 265 00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:54,000 So what we're trying to encourage is how to how to get it to where it's a habit. Yeah. 266 00:28:54,000 --> 00:29:01,000 So yeah, it's like visualizing or positive affirmations, but also gratitude practice. 267 00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:04,000 Yeah. Such a big thing. It's true. 268 00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:09,000 So what comes to mind when I say gratitude practice? 269 00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:17,000 Being thankful for even being able to wake up in the morning. Yeah. Being thankful for even being able to work on the daily. 270 00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:23,000 I mean, we could get hit tomorrow with anything. The covid proved that. Oh, yeah. 271 00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:28,000 That never would have thought that that could happen. Right. 272 00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:35,000 So but being grateful for even just waking up for even just being able to get out of bed. 273 00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:41,000 All of those little things. And it's it's not like I'm sitting there bowing down every time I do something, 274 00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:46,000 thinking the heavens. But in my mind, in my heart, I am. 275 00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:53,000 I am grateful to be able to work nights and weekends and not miss out on life. 276 00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:59,000 I know a lot of stylists, they get in this work life balance kind of thing. Right. Right. 277 00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:04,000 And that's a limiting belief as well. Like if I'm at work, I have to be doing work. 278 00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:07,000 If I'm at home, I have to be doing home. You know what? 279 00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:13,000 Again, you've got to figure out what's going to work for you and what's going to be best for who you are. 280 00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:18,000 But for me, like I switch into work mode and home mode, like constantly throughout the day. 281 00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:24,000 Sure. I don't have you find the time to do both. Yeah. To do both. 282 00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:29,000 And I feel like it's a good mix. It's most of my family's getting used to me now. 283 00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:34,000 If I'm on my phone, you can talk to me. I might even respond, but I'm not listening. It's not likely. 284 00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:41,000 It's not like. And our kids are relatively well adjusted. They still they still like us. 285 00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:44,000 For the most part. I mean, they're still living at home. 286 00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:50,000 Paying our phone bills, though. Well, it's true. And their food bills, their housing bills. 287 00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:57,000 But at the same time, there is this limiting belief that you have to have work here 288 00:30:57,000 --> 00:31:03,000 and life here and you can't. It's not a it's not a firm line in the sand, though. 289 00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:08,000 There isn't. Not a great. Yeah. So that's the mentality, though. 290 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:13,000 But having that gratitude of being able to do both. Yeah. 291 00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:21,000 Having that gratitude of knowing you can learn more, knowing you can continue to grow, knowing you've got to be grateful 292 00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:24,000 for the one who gave it to us all anyway, which is God. Yeah. 293 00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:29,000 We wouldn't be here without him. And if you're atheist and don't believe in God, I don't know how you do it. 294 00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:36,000 But we'll find a way. Find a way. I mean, this this makes sense for you and I because of our belief and our faith. 295 00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:42,000 But if if it's not a God that you're giving gratitude to, who it is, who is it? 296 00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:46,000 So like and I want to come back to. Or what is it? 297 00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:52,000 But I want to come back to how giving gratitude looks, because there was a time in my life 298 00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:57,000 where if somebody were to say, let's talk about gratitude practice. 299 00:31:57,000 --> 00:32:00,000 Oh, I love that idea. That's great. 300 00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:04,000 And the visualization that I get in my head is the gratitude journal. 301 00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:07,000 And it's setting aside time every day to write it down. 302 00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:12,000 And then the first day that I screw that up, the entire project is dead. 303 00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:19,000 You know what I mean? And there you know what I mean, because you've seen it in your your husband for 20 years. 304 00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:25,000 But for other people who have a similar mindset that I have had, that resonates with them. 305 00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:28,000 And they're they're shaking their head right now. They're saying, yes, I've been there. 306 00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:37,000 And it sucks. But what you pointed out was that why does gratitude sharing have to look that way? 307 00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:42,000 Right. You wake up and you're just you're not praying to Mecca. 308 00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:48,000 You're not kneeling on the ground to give thanks for every single thing in your in your day throughout the day. 309 00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:52,000 You just saying it in your heart, in your head. 310 00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:58,000 You can be driving and saying, you know, I'm really grateful that I have a car that works. 311 00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:06,000 I look out. There have been times like even last night, looked out at the mountains and just the beauty of what I was seeing was just. 312 00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:09,000 Yeah, it was grateful I could even see it kind of a thing. 313 00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:15,000 But and we actually were discussing this with our oldest daughter just last week. 314 00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:19,000 Prayer doesn't mean kneeling and praying. 315 00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:23,000 Prayer is talking to that higher being. Yeah. 316 00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:31,000 Whenever you're talking to them and having that ability just means you can share gratitude at any point of your day. 317 00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:37,000 And if you want to write it down, if you like the gratitude journal, if that's fulfilling to you, there's nothing wrong with that. 318 00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:41,000 But again, there's no one way to do anything. And don't let it stop you. 319 00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:45,000 If you set it up, that's how it has to look and that's how it has to be. 320 00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:50,000 Or it's not gratitude. That's the limiting belief belief system. 321 00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:53,000 And that's where you go wrong with. 322 00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:57,000 And that's why it's so disappointing because you're like, oh, I was trying to do this good thing. 323 00:33:57,000 --> 00:34:00,000 And it worked for this person and they're so successful. 324 00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:05,000 And yeah, because it did. It worked for them. Yeah, because they they were successful at that. 325 00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:07,000 But there's no one way of doing anything. 326 00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:13,000 So the first time you don't do it, it's like I gave myself the beginning of summer. 327 00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:19,000 I wanted to study 20 minutes every day doing something because I did it with hair. 328 00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:23,000 So I thought, oh, I'm going to apply it to this. 329 00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:31,000 I do try to do it, but I have not been successful in even like doing it like multiple days in a row yet. 330 00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:33,000 But you've done it a few times. 331 00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:38,000 But I keep doing it and I keep and I will keep going back to it and I'm trying to get better at doing it. 332 00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:43,000 And it's not even because I don't enjoy doing the studying I'm doing. I enjoy every time I do. 333 00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:46,000 Yeah, but it can't happen every single day. 334 00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:47,000 But it can't happen every single day. 335 00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:53,000 And I'm not going to look at myself and say I'm a failure and stop doing it because I didn't do it for. 336 00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:59,000 I mean, there's even been almost a full week where I haven't even done it once. 337 00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:04,000 I haven't quite gotten to that where I haven't. I've at least done it one time in a whole. 338 00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:08,000 But you accept that you were able to do it at least once and it went well. 339 00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:11,000 And I enjoyed it. So I'm going to keep trying. 340 00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:15,000 I really am going to keep trying for that 20 minutes every day, but we'll see if I get there. 341 00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:17,000 So far, not there yet. 342 00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:20,000 That's fine because. 343 00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:22,000 But I don't have that limiting belief. 344 00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:23,000 Exactly. 345 00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:28,000 If I fail at day two, then I'm just not going to do it again. 346 00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:29,000 Yeah. 347 00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:33,000 Well, like we said, we've tried to keep these to about 30, 35 minutes. 348 00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:34,000 So we're going to end this one now. 349 00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:38,000 But like we've said already, the mindset continues. 350 00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:40,000 So we have more to talk about. 351 00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:42,000 So we hope you join us for our next episode. 352 00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:45,000 Thanks for listening. 353 00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:46,000 Bye. 354 00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:47,000 You have to say your bye. 355 00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:59,000 Bye.