Welcome to Vikings and Valkyries, an actual play
podcast. We are playing When the Wolf Comes,
an RPG set in the twilight of gods and men. Joining
me at the end of all things are Steve, Bill, CJ, and
Taylor. Welcome to you, hounds of the norms.
Thank you very much. I'm in danger. And loving
it. So here we all are. And there are no guests
beyond Taylor to introduce this week. And Taylor's
part of the family now. He's been around for
a few episodes. There are no guests, mainly because
you've killed them all. Yep. I told you guys
it would work. Any remorse? Extraneous circumstances
killed them all. We just happen to be there every
time. they're in valhalla no they're in a better
place they'd they'd want it that way they might
have gone straight to hell well save us a seat
okay so today we are playing the first part of
mother's night we're going to dive into the quiz
and again remember these are kind of thematically
linked you can draw a little thread between what
I conjure here, and what's going to go on in
the adventure. So the question I have for you
today is, to earn your inspiration point, can
you name all of the norms? No. No, me neither.
A rooster. What? That was the answer to a question
a couple of quizzes ago that I didn't get. oh
okay so i memorized it i have a big note on my
monitor here so just in case it comes up again
i have heard the names but i i have not committed
them to memory they're kind of a group package
so like why wow i bet they love being lumped
together all right i'll take a crack one is thumbelina
okay yeah um does she don't so does she sing
That's Terpsichore you're thinking of. Buttercup.
Buttercup is the second one. That's correct.
And Tinkerbell. That's the three right there.
Thumbelina, Buttercup, and Tinkerbell. Thank
you for the point. And I'm having trouble with
figuring out what the theme is. There's a great
work of art called... None outlive the night
the Norns have spoken. You should look it up.
It's a fun piece. The Norns were the creatures
that would determine the period of men's and
women's lives and allot their fates. The three
primary Norns, as described in Guilford Gidding,
were Bertha, Verdandi and Skuld. And these giant
maids were the ones that came to appoint men's
lines. But there were also many other Norns.
Some were Aesir kin, some were Elfkind, and some
were Davelin's daughters. Good Norns and those
of honourable races delivered good life. And
those men that suffered evil fortunes were governed
by evil Norns. Since they were borrowed from
a common Indo -European belief system, can I
get a half -inspiration point for telling you
the name of the Greek fates? Clotho, Lachetis,
and Atropos? Does that work? Why do I know Greek
mythology better than Norse mythology? Larry,
Curly, and Moe are the three you're thinking
of. You're right in the sense that they were
the governesses of fate and they would twine
and twirl or carve people's Fates in the runes
at the bottom of the world's tree. Yggdrasil,
but no inspiration for you this week. You're
going to have to just rely on your wits. You
know why I remember the Greek ones? Because Disney
made a movie with them. Millennials! Okay, let's
jump straight into the adventure to set the scene.
The ship, the falcon. is badly damaged. Not only
did it suffer a whole breach in the battle that
brought you here, but your pilot and your crew
are either dead or have abandoned their posts.
The orbital ring, Mimis Brune, is under siege
by Dread Orcneus, and worse, Bangsy of Valderson,
or at least the past version of Bangsy, is piloting
a shuttle named Gungnir towards the system's
sun. and you know full well what happens when
he reaches it. The star goes supernova, and everything
in your immediate environs is utterly obliterated.
The only saving grace is that Mim has restored
power, allowing you to gear up the thought and
memory drive. However, when we left the last
episode, it had turned out that the shapeshifter...
had been impersonating Raggedy, had lured you
aboard, and now the vicious beast is glowering
in the pilot's seat, sitting next to the befuddled
form of Cole, who is aghast that his pilot and
long -term comrade has been replaced by this
shapeshifting trickster. Are we all in the raven's
nest? You are. All right. Gigi's going to look
at Lomi and say, could I borrow that bird head
that you have around your neck? Of course. Of
course. Here. He's going to use it to turn back
the clock ten minutes to just before they get
on the ship. So we're all going to show back
up just before getting on the ship with the full
knowledge that the shapeshifter's on there. My
mistake, everyone, and I shall fix it. So he's
going to march back onto the ship just before
we all supposedly got onto the ship. Walk toward
the armory. I hope you're all following. He's
going to walk toward the armory. Grab some flamethrowers.
Hand them over to everybody. You get the flamethrower!
You get the flamethrower! He's the Oprah flamethrowers.
You get the flamethrower! He is being kind of
loud, so hopefully this works. And then they're
going to walk up to the raven's nest and they're
going to see, tell this character, Ragni. And
he's going to have the flamethrower out. And
I presume she's going to look at him as he walks
into the room. And she'll say her line as she
did from last time and welcome you to the ship
in the nick of time. Ah, yes. And in fact, I
have a problem that you might be able to... to
help me with. Allow me to approach a little bit.
There's just something stuck with this. And then
he's going to pull the trigger of the flamethrower
and just douse her with flame. And then, by the
way, he's going to say, a little help. We're
going to need at least two of these to kill it.
Happily. You'll remember that Ragni, or the sheep
shifter that impersonates her, has the iron side's
ability. And so she... roars, tossing back her
head with laughter as the flames course down
her body, not impacting her in the slightest.
Not the controls! We need those! We have it,
Conrad! Now, Ironsides is a triggered ability,
so were you to apply Overwhelming Force and everyone
unleash their flame cast of fuel in her direction,
then it would beat down those mythic defenses
and enable her to take damage. Whatever you do,
don't cross the stream! Leomi opens up with the
flamethrower going, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot.
It's been a while, Bill, since you have been
singed and burned. You've overcome your fear
of flame and fire. I don't really like it still.
It's not my favorite. Taylor, it's difficult
for you to have to burn at least the form of
a friend. I imagine I'm far more outraged having
the experience of seeing her mocked in such a
way of being shapeshifted and pretended to be.
And the desecration of my crew fills me with
a righteous fury that I pour into every ounce
of fuel that is coming from my flamethrower.
And Steve, you're lighting one up as well? Absolutely.
Air is lighting one up. He giggles a little bit
and is like, if only I'd had one of these against
the Tartars. If only. I should take this back
with me somehow. In the interests of allowing
yourselves to feel vindicated against this long
feared and finally vanquished foe, you may roll
some dice sixes. So two dice six each and double
it because the creature is one of the breed of
Orcneus, the sons of Nifl that are. joined to
the frozen side of the planet and so suffered
double damage with clients. 18 from me. 12. Oh,
I got 18 as well. I just want to say I rolled
double sixes on one of my rolls. I was like super
stoked about it. I went, ah! I rolled something
well for once. Oh my goodness. The shapeshifter
collapses in a roiling sea of flame and withers
into dust and ashes that drift across the raven's
nest. Oh, and then Gigi has a final line where
he says, I have had enough of you! And he just
keeps firing, even though it's like overkill
at this point. Someone needs to tell them the
horse is dead. Don't burn my ship. I was waiting
for the sprinklers to go off. You know, the Raven's
Nest doesn't have a sprinkler system, but it
is made of resilient ironwood, so other than
some light charring to the pilot's seat, I think
you'll get away with it. In the kind of bigger
sense, the flame caster is the least of your
concerns because... The whole sun is about to
go supernova. And that might be a little bit
more scorching. Cause a little bit more sunburn.
So 3D6. 3D6. The power is on. Who is going to
pilot the ship? I will. I'll need somebody for
the thought and memory drive though. Do we need
you? Yeah. So do I need the skull for piloting
the thing or no? I don't. The skull will give
you the necessary wheels along with your rudimentary
piloting ability. You have Sack in the pilot's
chair and learned from Ragni. So between you,
Cole, and Leomi, the two alpha, the two wise
old souls, could... pull their collective wisdom
of all of those ages and attempt to spool up
the thought and memory drive. Leomi turns to
Gigi and says, give me the bird skull, please,
big men. He hands it over. Thank you. Sad. We
know the drill in order to... pilot the thought
memory drive you have to turn on the oblivion
link you have to wear your flight visors and
beneath those visors you think of your destination
you visualize the destination that either pilot
has previously visited or seen and then after
linking your minds through that link through
that device you will be able to concentrate for
a minute and use a triggered action to teleport
your ship to the place that you visualized as
that destination so an oblivion link and if you're
an oblivious person then that i assume that helps
i think no wonder i'm good at checks out exactly
how it works that was what was in the schematic
that you read anyway i am going to though ask
you two pilots to make a will roll for me The
sense of doom and trepidation that creeps over
you knowing that at any moment the star could
go supernova delivers a crawling fear at the
back of your mind. So let's have a will roll
to avoid being frightened. I rolled an 11. 11
Z. I also rolled an 11. 11 Zs. Natural 11 Zs.
That's got to be a bonus. How far power. The
ship hums with expectant energy and aided by
the skull of the raven Munin, you can feel yourself
visit all kinds of vistas from your long and
memorable lives. The ship sparks into life and
you begin to drift out of the hangar. taking
your path along the Raven Roads. In that split
second, Surt reaches out its sword. The light
is excruciating, catastrophically bright. And
even at this distance, the Falkir groans. The
sword swings further still, cleaving the heavens
with two brilliant beams of destruction. The
planet below you... planet of ice and fire shatters,
the crust and the hot iron innards spilling into
the cool gap, a stream of rocks and particles
sucked into the coruscating clouds of light at
the edge of an emerging ominous black disk. Mimis
Brunier, the orbital station, boils away into
a witch's room. Now. That's not something you
see every day. Witnessing the end of a planet
and the end of all of those lives, you can hear
the echoing screams as they are snuffed out of
existence. Can you all make me a will roll with
three woes? Twelve. Eleven. Nine. Thirteen. Turns
out it's only CJ who has any kind of conscience.
Who wants to turn up for the books? So CJ, you
don't get fear from this, but you are deeply
perturbed. Please add three trauma to your total.
Oh dear. Miguel and I had our visors down. We
couldn't see anything. Yeah. I forgot, yeah,
so as the sun's exploding and everyone's dying
and they're screaming, Gigi is deeply disturbed,
but also... Very disturbing little laugh. I love
it. Any thoughts, any plans? You're all in the
Raven's Nest. You've all survived this. Cataclysm.
The sword fall is Ragnarok delivered to your
doorstep. Well, crap. Hot. Hot. Looks very hot.
It does look very hot. You're right, Bill. It
is searing, scorching. The people who remain
will be burnt into the shadows of existence.
Looking out of the hollows of the ship. what
passes for windows in this bio ship made of ironwood
you're thundering along the hell roads and outside
you notice that the light rays are moving in
spirals they're not just direct beams of light
you watch transfixed as the past the present
and future versions of the falcon like circular
echoes flicker in and out of reality. It's like
you are part of a swarm of phasing Falkir bees.
And Leomi, that's when you spot it. Something
moving near the solar sails. It looks like a
flaming inferno, a human torch scuttling slowly
across the hull. Man -sized, it stands upright,
appearing unaffected by the vacuum or the cold,
and then it stares back at you. There's something
on the sail. And it's watching you curiously
in the same way as that you might watch an animal
at the zoo. There's a thing on the sail. Do you
see it? Do we see it? If anyone else goes to
the window. to the hollow to peer into this bright
white void. Again, the light rays moving in spirals
around your ship. You, Steve, don't see a flaming
torch. You see instead a huge fat cat that is
rending But Sola sails with its feral claws.
There's a flaming thing on the wing and the sail
is staring at me. It's clearly a giant cat. Don't
panic. She's going to run for a window and go,
is it a dog, Neas? Gigi being immune to the frightened
condition as a giant's bane, you see absolutely
nothing on. the solar sails, and you wonder what
all the fuss is about. Taylor, I don't know if
you or Cole have anything that you're particularly
phobic about. I don't believe I do. Perhaps you
see a giant Gigi out there. Perhaps you just
see CJ outside ripping the sails. Destroying
my manuscripts and my lore. Good air. past ancestral
wisdom once he's already afraid in order to get
rid of the frighten condition and make himself
immune to it i will say that yes the ancestral
spirits will gird your lines and bolster your
mental offenses and enable you to shrug off the
fear that had been gnawing at your core and enable
you to proceed with Valor. Oh, I still see the
cat. You still see a huge butterball of a cat.
Oh, it's just a kitty. What's it doing out there?
It's a flaming thing. It's looking at me. It's
hot. I can feel the heat. I can feel the heat.
In any instance, whether it is... using its feline
claws to rip apart the solar sails, or whether
it is using its fiery fists to pummel them, or
whether it is using a strange version of the
heirloom sword, Bearpaw, to shred the sails.
Something is happening out there that is causing
damage to the ship out in the vacuum of the void.
It'll kill us all. Jump on it, Gigi. I'm stuck
inside. I don't see anything. It's empty. It's
fine. It'll kill us all. It's tearing it apart.
It's tearing the ship apart. Cole, your ship
that has suffered so much at the hands of Orpheus,
that has been involved in imperial blockades,
that took part in the scorching of Jotunheim,
now it is being rent asunder. by a strange creature
out on the wing. It is tugging at your very core.
And it's definitely doing damage. It's not the
illusion of damage. I can tell that the ship
is slowing or degrading or suffering real damage.
If you had marrow, you would feel it in your
bones. Perhaps you can... It's sap. You can feel
it. You can feel it deep in your insert tree
part here. We need to get this thing off my ship.
I've had it with these insert curse words here.
Orcneus and their tricks. We must cleanse our
ship. Do we have any spacesuits? You do have
more gapsuits. in the extravehicular paw that
you could put on. Before you do so, echoing through
the hull, echoing into your minds, emanating
like thought waves, you hear a shrill female
voice say, This weft is woven with entrails of
men. Am I the only one who heard that, or does
everyone hear it? Everyone heard that resonating
through their brain. So everyone heard that,
right? Probably not good. No. How long until
we arrive wherever we're going? Is this going
to prevent us from getting there? That remains
Undetermined, certainly your two pilots would
have to leave the Oblivion Link and unplug themselves,
were they to try and deal with this threat. This
wept is woven with the entrails of men, is that
what it was? That's correct. There is a second
line that floats through your consciousness.
Again, it's almost as if the creature is reaching
out. telepathically, and it says, This warp is
hard -weighted with the heads of the slain. So
weft and warp refer to weaving. As we're all
sitting here silently, we could be said to be
gathering wool. That fits. Wool or woe. Wool,
I said, but woe might be truer. You could say
our minds are spinning. Nice. No, you could.
Would air need a gap suit to go? We would, wouldn't
you? No, you don't breathe. So, yeah. Yeah, you
go deal with it. That's a good idea. Take the
big one. Sure. Air has a flamethrower and doesn't
need a suit. He's feeling unnecessarily confident.
Would a flamethrower work in space? Probably
not. Probably not. Does he know that? Probably
not. Oh, you know, so the flamethrower is the
greatest thing ever invented. And he wants to
use it on everything at the moment. So... But
fire only works in the presence of oxygen. Why
are we helping the Game Master? I don't understand.
I mean, he probably would have picked up on that
one. I'll give that to you. But still. We literally
went through it last episode as the space elevator
hurtled into the atmosphere and everyone said,
no, you can't use it there because there's no
oxygen. One of the things, Steve, just to remind
you, as you have perfected your mastery of Gandcraft,
You have other things beyond a glorified lighter
to your name. Oh, yes. Yeah, at the moment, it's
more of an emotional support flamethrower than
anything that's actually going to be effective.
So, just a minute. He's a master of Gandcraft,
and he's a dark alphar. So he's a Gandalf. Well,
that only took 18 episodes. Yes. Gand is an Old
Norse word for wand. The weaver, but that is
what it is, phases between the bulkhead and the
raven's nest and confronts you head on. It has
simply drifted between the exterior vacuum through
the ironwood hull. and now stands immediately
in front of you. Again, Steve air sees the huge
meowing cat. CJ, you have actually started to
see something. It hasn't appeared to you in the
form of your greatest fear. These creatures,
their true form is unknowable. They often adopt
a shape that is best suited to their victim.
In your case, you see... a tangled web of entrails
on a bloody loom. It doesn't horrify you, but
you do appreciate that there is some kind of
distortion of reality there. Leoma, you continue
to see a flaming human torch and Cole, if the
figure once seemed to you like a caricature of
Gigi, it now appears. Much more like an impossible
object that defies Euclidean geometry. Is it
here in the Raven's Nest with us? It has entered
your command center. This being born of paradox,
Cole, as the oldest amongst your crewmates. You
can see that it is constantly adding new intricacies
to the pattern of existence. Refining its clarity
and its shape and its complexity, essentially.
And also, cutting the threads between your timeline
and any other timelines, you see the structure
that it passed through, the ironwood hull of
the Raven's Nest, begin to fade from existence.
And then there is a snap as reality shatters
like a broken mirror and the void begins to encroach
into... your shit con. Fast turn or slow turn?
I want to use the Gandreed ability in. You may
yourself phase in and out of reality using your
latest addition to your... talents as a thread
rider. Similar to this creature, you can drift
in and out of reality and can take both a fast
turn and a slow turn. Can I do those both right
now? Can you do fast and slow turn? I'm going
to take a fast turn and a slow turn. and possibly
a slower turn, and after that, come back to me
and I'll tell you what I'm doing. Yeah, I'm just
firing up the spreadsheet. It won't be but a
moment. I think Cole's had it. I'm going to fast
turn it and just start shooting this thing. I'm
so pissed off at it touching my ship. What are
you shooting at it with, Taylor? I'm going to
use my host fetter, and I'm going to make three
attacks, because... Because you can. Because
I can. Because you demand it. Because I'm pissed.
First one. That is a 19 for the first one. Second
one is a 5 and third one is an 8. So I'm guessing
that's just one hit. So the first shot full of
rage and venom strikes true. Roll for your damage
as you let a burst of bullets fly. That's not
great. 4. Strangely, the bullets appear to slow
as they reach the creature, and whilst they pass
through its translucent body and clearly do some
kind of damage, their force is spent, and the
creature appears barely harmed. I could throw
in a baseball at it. I'm going to, for my 5 -string,
I would like to cast Against a Dwarf. for the
benefit of people at home and for steve who appears
very confused we did just discuss this as we
were in the green room waiting yes yes you get
a dwarf and you hold something against it and
then that casts a spell no it's an ancient charm
i make a will attack roll against the target's
will on a success it's impaired for one hour
as one d6 penalty to its power And an affected
target can try and break out of the spell. Super.
So, the Norse regarded Dverg dwarves as evil
spirits, and so they created charms against them,
which Leomi has now cast. Do you want to make
your roll then, Bill? Is it a wits roll? Mm -hmm.
With confidence. Turned out to be right. Well,
I got a third, no, a three. Three. That was your
fast turn or was that your slow turn? Do you
want to take the extra action? Do you want to
beat a hasty retreat now that you have failed
abysmally? Yes, well, you know, I was thinking,
I have some good stuff here, just I've got it.
If it's any consolation, it's immune to the impaired.
condition and so even had you succeeded it would
have been as if you had lightly sneezed on it
how about uh i'd like to do a reversed everlasting
runes which instead of healing all damage will
cause all damage if i'm interpreting the reversal
correct all damage in not some damage all that
that's correct so you have the valkyrie ability
to invert your life spells and so whereas everlasting
runes would heal someone in totality your choosers
of the slain ability enables you to flick that
and cause it to lose all of its health in one
go so make a will attack roll against the creatures
Might. What's its might? You're looking at the
book, CJ. What? What's its might, Ian? Its might
is... Oh, for the creature. Yeah, yeah. Sorry.
You were busy reading. I didn't mean to interrupt.
It's bad. It's really bad. Essentially infinite.
It's 17. Oh, I rolled a 17. I genuinely rolled
a 17. See, that's it's like CJ is reading it
wrong. It doesn't actually have a might score.
Oh, sorry. Yeah, I missed that. And so it cannot
be affected in this manner. Unfortunately, it
is immune to this kind of physical damage. And
so you have chosen the wrong person to be slain.
And OK, I see. So I've used two spells, both
for the first time. And zero effect. I just want
to summarize the action. I'm really proud of
you. Thank you, Taylor. That means a lot. I feel
you ought to say ta -da afterwards. Ta -da! With
hand gestures for those at home. So, Taylor has
blasted ineffectually. Bill has attempted a range,
a panalopy. of abilities to no avail. Zero effect.
Steve and CJ, what do you have up your sleeves?
How would you like to fail? I've got something.
So we're going to use the wise counsel to do
two things. The first one would be to cast a
where to go to cast a gandfly using that games
to make it potent. by taking stress, so he doesn't
have to roll to hit, because I have a feeling
that's not going to work anyways, and the damage
would be 3d6. So that adds up to 9 points of
damage. I was going to say it would, well, any
other creature would also make a might roll,
but I think we can safely skip that part. And
then the second thing is, because he's gathered
strain, He will then use Sorcerer's Storm to
immediately release that strain as a blast against
the Weaver. It's worth a try. So he's going to
make a wits roll against its slight. Give me
the roll. Good, it will do. The total is 15 wits.
Who needs a flamethrower when you can level cities
with your sorcerer's storms? In this case, unfortunately,
you missed. But you made... Well, he does take
half damage. Yeah, you made a fair fist of things,
literally using the power of the Aether against
this creature. So it does take... Some damage,
but it's negligible. As far as you can see, little
kitty has slightly singed fur. Yeah, that's what
I expected. I have two questions. If I take a
slow turn, does that mean that I can cast a spell
and shoot? Nope. Okay. You can move and use an
action. And an action would be to shoot or to
cast a spell. And if I take a fast turn, then
I can cast a spell and shoot? You almost said
it right that time, CJ. Just don't go up into
a question at the end. You noticed when I said
I'm going to reverse my spell and do all the
damage? I didn't ask it as a question. It made
no difference in the end, but, you know. I was
just trying to get some clarification here. Okay,
so I'm going to take the laughter as a no. The
only reason that Steve can perform, or Steve
or Bill can perform both, is that they are special.
They've both got abilities that enable them,
in a limited set of circumstances, to take two
actions. You don't have something similar. No,
but I do have an ability that gives me extra
damage. So this is the next question, because
those were part of the first question. The next
question is, is anyone standing behind the horrifying
fracture? So no, you're standing in front of
it. So it has phased through the hull and has
entered the raven's nest. However, I am going
to remind you that you do actually have the Shapestruck
gift, where you can push yourself beyond your
normal. limits when you take a turn you can use
that gift to increase your number of actions
that round by one you have to make a might challenge
roll at the end of that round and possibly become
fatigued but such is your genetically enhanced
engineering that you can push yourself beyond
the limits of normal men yeah cj so yeah so can
i use that n or log and shoot twice Correct.
Ooh! And what you could do is now apply your
Bloody Runes, your latest addition to your arsenal.
We can do that later. The Orlog, if I do it at
level four, gets me more damage than that. It
does, but only in one go, whereas all of the
attacks for a minute would get three die six,
as opposed to one attack for four die six. I'm
sorry. How do these guys now know how to play
their characters? What happened over the last
week? This is really weird. No, I'm asking questions.
I'm still learning. Yeah, let's do that. So I'm
going to use the shape strong. Get my two actions.
Cast cast blood runes, which will get me the
extra damage. And you know, pull out the storm
shooter and Just say, I don't know what you are,
but I shall now descend you by your backside.
And then start shooting. I'm also going to assume
that that is a cutting insult. And so anyone
else is using a triggered action there. And so
anyone else will benefit from your tongue lashing.
So give me your roll for damage. So is it burst
fire or are you just trying to hit it? That's
a great question. What does more damage? Burst
fire, probably. Burst fire means that you're
guaranteed, even if it makes its light roll,
to just for it to take half damage. You might
miss with just a regular shot. Do a burst. Okay.
I don't know. I think I'm going to do a regular
shot and I'm going to play the fate here. Okay.
I'm going to shoot right at it. You ready? I
can't watch. Drum roll. I can't see, but I can't
watch. Oh, that's it. He's gone under the table.
Can you drop him from the call, Ian? Oh, my goodness.
I told you to jump on it. That was the bitches.
I rolled a one. So would you like to recount
to us what happens when Gigi attempts to... Do
all of this thing as his shape -strong new god,
casting spells, etching runes, and firing all
in one go. Yeah, it's going to look really sexy,
and he's going to do his cutting insults, and
then the gun is going to jam. And then he's going
to shake. He's going to look down the barrel.
It's still going to be jammed. I'm stuck, everyone!
That's good. It shows the extent to which he
has learned the rules, because there are misfire
rules for... guns and he has now just uh applied
those so the challenge now with your storm shooter
is you will have to unclog it and fix it before
you can fire it again so you might want to make
a quick bolt for the armory to get something
new or to unholster your flame custer all right
i'm going to roll for the creature it is going
to come straight for captain cole So, Taylor,
all of our expertise turned out to just be kind
of window dressing or a new hat. I'm just still
amazed and proud that you got there. You advertised
well. We've gone from incompetent to ineffective.
And that is a step up on the ladder. That's true.
That is a step up the ladder. It's true. Gigi,
you've shown us this is how you win second place
in the all -Asgard honky -tonk or whatever it
was. In the honky -tonk of Armand. The weaver
rushes towards Captain Cole and lays a discordant
hand on your shoulder. You are going to take...
14 damage, but then I also need you to make a
might challenge roll, please. Okay, one second.
14 points of damage. Ouch. And you said a might?
A might challenge roll, please. Since I'm in
microgravity, I can use free fall, right? You
can. And you also have tough as nails. I do have
tough snails as well, but I was already damaged
from last episode. Ah, okay. That would be a
21. Nice. You shrug off the sense that fate has
a bullet with your name on it. That fate has
decreed that you are about to expire. You shrug
off that. feeling, and you take no trauma. However,
this is a horrifying creature that has jumped
in front of all of you. So with the exception
of Steve, who is immune to trauma, can all of
you give me a will roll with one woe? You'll
be fine. Just walk it off. I'd rather not, but
all right. With one woe, you say? Please. Three
minus two. I think I need some different dice.
Ten minus three. I got a seven. Three minus four.
Best counsel doesn't help, huh? Racking up the
trauma today. Yeah. So, Bill, you get two trauma,
and you are frightened. Dayla, you get one trauma,
and you are frightened. CJ, you get one trauma,
but are immune to the frightened condition, so
you're just going a little more loopy. Pharaoh,
do you want to use steadfast to try and shrug
that off as a triggered action? Yeah, I would.
So that's a will roll. Ooh, that makes that a
22. Spend it. So you, being steadfast... Instantly
shrug off again that doubt and fear that had
begun to creep into your mind. It's only Leomi
who stands there mouthing and doing whatever
Bill's doing on camera. Hot, hot, hot, hot. Exactly.
You're facing your human torch and you have been
singed again. It really is like that meme. as
the dog burns yes yes that's the one the weaver
takes a slow turn it had used his attack and
it now drifts through the bulkhead passing through
the wall out of the raven's nest into the captain's
ready room and beyond as it goes again it cuts
the thread between and you can see the ship around
you becoming translucent. A swirling starry void
lurks outside. Again, this spiral of stars indicating
that you are travelling faster than light itself.
Someone should follow it. The creature. again
enters your mind with an all -pervasive, dominating
thought as it says, Spears, blood besprinkled,
for spindles we use. How big is the ready room?
The ready room is not large. This is not a voluminous
ship. It is perhaps five yards by five yards.
Gigi is going to go up to the door to the ready
room, crack it open, and toss in a whole belt
of grenades again. But hopefully, this time,
it works. Okay, so we will enable you to do that
as a slow turn, because you will have to follow
the creature through the ironwood tunnels of
the ship in order to get to the door to toss
the grenades. Anyone want to take a fast turn
before that, or you want to follow up as Vjotgarth
enters the rest of the ship? Air will follow,
just to see what happens. Yomi will follow. Sorry,
Steve. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just following for
now. You're not going to miss this. I'll follow,
but can I also do a triggered action to do energy
burst? You can. I will. Energy bursts is the
ability of the oaths worn to heal themselves
on the fly. And just in case the word heal triggered
any residual memory in your fellow alpha, I'll
mention it again. Who knows? Listening to the
last episode, I must have missed it because there's
a lot going on. But he did at one stage say that
he was going to cast Healing Herbs. He then just
didn't give anyone the Healing Herbs. He summoned
them and just held them back. He just held them.
And perhaps he sniffed them. It was aromatherapy.
I had them near the rocks. They're lovely. It's
like in the Civil War, where they've dug up from
the battles and they found muskets that still
had the... had the uh you know yeah it's you
know well it's just it's loud it's chaotic you
don't know that's us we're like going through
the motions we look good all right toss your
grenades then and if anyone else wanted to do
anything from behind yeah uh error would like
to cast insight and ask the um this year in the
ear Can we defeat this weaver? No. That simplifies
that a bit. Do I tell anyone? The spirit of your
esteemed... former colleague Fionn the Scald,
also goes so far as to tell you that a weaver
is sent by the Norns to repair the timelines,
which you have very thoroughly broken. So it
is in the process of removing the falchion from
existence. There are multiple falchions around,
as you know. Not all of them can exist. at the
same time. And so this creature is a fracture
that is determined to eliminate the vessel that
you command. The problem with that is that you
will then be cast into the void and that's not
a good place to be on a Monday afternoon. However,
your bandolier of grenades explode like the fourth
of july parade and any mementos personal knickknacks
ships logs that the captain might have had are
instantly evaporated cleansed by blame and fury
the creature itself continues to I set the ship
and says, How loom, iron bound, and arrows how
reels. With swords for our shuttles, this war
weft we work. I'm sure that's fine. Did it take
any damage? By all means, roll me some damage.
It's an act of faith at this point, CJ. I don't
remember. With the belt of grenades, how much
damage am I doing? 14d6. There we go. Challenge
accepted. No, am I really doing 14d6? It's 20d6.
It's 20d6? Give me a spin. I'll just go on mute.
I'll be back. I'll be back. Dole, have you any
thoughts? Considering you, you do have that repel
borders trait. You also have the sense that this
creature is about to rip your ship into its constituent
parts and mean that the noble falcon had never
existed. I mean, repel borders sounds... helpful,
but it seems to not take any damage, so I don't
know if it'll actually do anything. It feels
like we're fighting fate itself, so I don't really
know if violence can beat it, but I also think
Cole is just so outraged at his ship going down
that I don't know how clearly he would be thinking
in this moment. 57. Nice. Good roll. The explosion.
The room is sending detritus everywhere. The
creature is somewhat hurt. It clearly can sustain
the damage. It doesn't take all of that. But...
There is also the challenge that lobbing explosives
around inside an interstellar vessel tends to
have a little bit of impact on its structural
integrity. And you can hear a low, slow hiss
as air begins to be sucked out into the vacuum
of the Gondonga Gap. Not me. The other air. So
now the question is, is the creature big enough
for me to climb on top of it? Asking the important
question. That's what I've been saying the whole
episode. Jump on it. Jump on it. We will be able
to see as you have attracted its attention and
it rushes towards you. warping reality as it
slithers towards you again. You're seeing this
kind of tangled web of entrails. Please make
a slight challenge roll. 17 plus 2. Actually,
no, it's 3 now because we're level 9. No, it's
2. It's 2. 19. You narrowly avoid being trapped
in a temporal loop as the creature rushes past
you and again drifts into a different part of
the ship. What are we going to do? We need a
better plan. We've hit it with the hardest things
we have and it's doing nothing. It did something.
Not enough. Well... Okay, Air's having a bit
of a... He's staring into space. Well, I mean,
as he does anyways. Having a bit of a question
about this is that if this Weaver has come to
repair time by removing us from time to fix that,
why wouldn't they undo the Doom? Why wouldn't
they undo the Supernova? Why wouldn't they undo
the creation of the Alphar and the Dark Alphar
and let Air go back to Valhalla, where he really
wants to be? Like, I mean, why one thing and
not the other? Why do we need to be undone on
the ship specifically? Let's go back to first
principles. So what you're telling me is your
action is you want to brew a nice cup of tea
and have a philosophical debate. Never think.
I expect the kettle is long since gone, isn't
it? He's not an airhead. I blew it up. The captain's
kettle has either been reduced to it. constituent
parts or sucked out into the vacuum of the gap.
One of the two, but yeah. Paul Cole isn't making
any chamomile tea anytime soon. That's gotta
be worth trauma right there, doesn't it? Much
trauma. Could we use the thought and memory drive
to get back into our timeline? Would that basically
get us out of here? However we got in, get back
to it? because we're being literally ripped apart
from this timeline. You are effectively in a
time slipstream. You have not completed your
thought and memory jump, but the whole process
has been arrested mid -flight by the norms who
are re -threading, re -twining time. What Taylor
is asking, though, is can we do the time? We
pick up the action. Oh, yeah, thanks. With a
jump to the left? That's the one, and just a
step to the right. Let's do it again. There is
a dismal, distant thudding as one of the dragon
gums detonates at the far side of the ship. It's
at this point in the combat I start looking forward
to the next recording session so I can find out
what we should have done. Because I sure don't
know right now. Oh, my God. We can't defeat it.
The voices in my head have told me this. Maybe
it's best to just let it happen. Oh, what else
is on the ship? What other things are on the
ship? All of the crew were either slain by the
shapeshifter or else, like Gidda, had decided
to discreetly abandon ship and take her life
into her own hands. Did we have the bear cubs
with us? At one point, we were protecting them.
Ah, so you're right. The bowels of the ship,
so to speak, were turned into a makeshift kennel
and bear den. Down below, stored near where the
solar sails would be furled, are the two bear
cubs that you rescued and a group of... huskies
of sled dogs that you had brought on board and
that were serving as a kind of shapeshifter detection
device, although you failed to heed their warning.
Hence the barking. They were barking so much
we had to put them away. I am going to go check
on the bear cubs, Naomi says. And the wolves.
And while the rest of you are waxing philosophical,
I am going to go to the armory, pick up a bigger
gun, and keep trying to kill this thing, because
I am convinced it can be killed. Oh, it can be
killed. It's just whether... Whether we can kill
it. And will it matter? Steve, you do have some
impressive things in your arsenal now, as I said,
the Master of Gandacarp. Do you want to... unveil
to everyone with the sense of style and panache
your level five spell that you can wield yes
i mean unveil unveil it just seems like it'll
okay no fine i didn't use it i just said unveil
it no i'm thinking of using it is um Air can
create a black hole. I mean, it's not a big one.
It's just a little tiny one. And everything in
a 10 -yard radius gets sucked into it. And all
unsecured objects and creatures get sucked towards
it. If they reach the middle, they take 10d6
and detonate the black hole. You know, everything
gets a little weird after that. But what I'm
not sure exactly how that would help, although
it's super tempting, and sinking air might be
making his way calmly yet directly down to the
escape pods. So you're right in that, as demonstrated
by the law speaker when he was ejected back to
Mother York, your ship does have whirlers, which
are... a good way to deliver people to planetary
surfaces. They act as paragliders and can enter
the atmosphere at just the right angle to minimize
the fiery stage of reentry and keep acceleration
to a minimum. And so you would tumble to Earth,
so to speak, were you to jump into one of those
escape pods. They are limited in how many people
can get aboard them. We've already ascertained
that Gigi would take up one because of his girth.
The second one, because one was lost and ejected
into space with the law speaker Crapty Thorfridson
on board. The second one would contain perhaps
two people and the bear cubs or three people.
It's entirely up to you how you wish to proceed.
The dogs. are probably going to become gap favors.
Moral dilemmas. Well, I mean, you are talking
to the crew who keeps putting men in front of
us as bear bait and zombie bait and porcinius
bait. We are the trolley problem. I figured the
entrails that were being woven in front of us
were probably from all of our former companions.
I have a question for Air before I go and do
something rash. Could you ask the seer in your
ear if it's the ship itself that is the problem
that is being corrected by the Norns or us? In
a yes or no question, that's up to you. Yeah.
Oh, that's good. That way, if we know, perhaps
it's a navigational error. We left out of phase,
out of time. Cole took us down. a slightly wrong
path. All we have to do is jump over to the right
path, and this thing will go bye -bye. Okay.
Yes or no question. Er will ask the seer in his
ear. I wish there was something that rhymed with
scald, because it would be more thematically
correct. Can the occupants of the ship leave
the influence of the weavers, or leave the effect
of the weavers? Rami, you're... A good friend
who doesn't bear a grudge at all against Yoggoth
says, Yes. And at that same time, you hear the
weaver echoing through the ship as it says, So
weave, we weird sisters, our web of war. An under
-sustained assault. The Falkir slides out of
the Hellroads and you see through the hollows
of the ship that you have appeared high above
Mother Yorth. There is a violent shudder as this
ship that was already suffering from hull stress
groans and rits in two. The structural integrity
has begun to crumble, especially because of the
interior damage done by the grenades. You're
welcome, says Gigi. Air will announce in a loud,
clear voice, Abandon Falkir. It just wants the
ship. Eliomi's running for the bear cubs and
then to an escape pod. Not my escape pod. Now,
there are gap suits. Can Gigi fit in one? None
of them are XXXXL size. Can he just take the
breathing apparatus and a parachute so that there's
enough? enough uh whirlers for everyone else
to get off and then he's just gonna go red bull
style into the thermosphere red bulls and and
ride the heavens behind the whirlers i'm not
sure that anyone has to gear for example just
last week didn't they pick up some people from
the international space station by sending a
vehicle if they could have just jumped out of
it yes but this is gg He's not one of those wimpy
astronauts up on the space suit. Those astronauts
didn't finish second in the all Asgard games.
And with the proper breathing apparatus, I think
he could pull it up. It's not breathing apparatus
is the problem. It's the intense thermal heat
that comes as you spiral through the atmosphere
that reduces rock to nothing. Oh, that rules
me out. See? Now, CJ. This is how you interact
with the GM. It's a barrage of bullshit. It's
a whirler or bust. Can anything else fit in the
whirler with Gigi? Can he take some of the cubs
at least? Bill has got them under his arms a
bit like pigs. Pigs to market. Chubby little
cubs. I think at this point you would feel a
hand on your shoulder, Gigi, as Cole comes up
beside you and says, Get to the whorler. Get
off the ship. Captain's going to get off the
ship. Boo. But fine. Well, air could just jump
out. He's diamond encrusted. I mean, that's harder
than space shuttle piles. Not that those always
work. Not harder than meteorites. He said reduced
rock to slag. Yeah, I feel like that was a pointed
statement, actually. Now that I think back on
it. There's one of the whirlers reading the instruction
manual. Thank you for purchasing the Mark I Whirler.
We hope it'll bring you many years of worry -free
escaping. That's canon now. Bill, are you rushing
to jump in with... Steve, you haven't called
in an abomination for a while, and now you're
going to be in close quarters. Nope. There's
not much room. Nope. There's not much room, Steve.
You're going to have to kind of... I'm basically
climbing in on top of you, shoving bear cubs
in your face. What are you going to do about
it? I might maybe get out and ride on... Wait
a minute. Can a person ride out on a Whirler?
Because you'd be behind the thermal shock thing.
Science, science, science. Like Dr. Strangelove?
Just riding the missile in? I mean, that's kind
of Gigi's thing, but why not let air have a turn?
Give it a whirl. Oh. Nice. Let's... I'll get
my coat. I think staying inside the whirl is
the critical part. So the two of you have a little
bicker as Leomi tries to muscle in and give you
a bear hug, literally. Cole, you are facing a
dilemma, as Bill said. Is this the moment where
Captain Cole goes down with the ship? Do you
want to try and take this weaver with you and
undo the threads of fate? Do you want to see
if you can destroy the creature with the aid
of air and his ability to summon? minuscule black
holes, or do you want to entreat Gigi to help
you with one last bandolier of grenades? Good
question. I want to keep the ship as structural
as possible until the last possible minute so
that I can ensure that these three get off. My
Gut says, I'll take the bandolier of grenades,
head up to the raven's nest, and just do whatever
I can to keep the ship limping along until I
see that the weavers are safely away, and then
let's detonate. Gigi, you pirouetting through
the low gravity towards your whirler, or are
you going to... Stopping by the armory on the
way to grab some supplies because guaranteed
wherever we land, we're going to need to shoot
some things. How many worlders are there? Two.
Oh, okay. That's the problem. It's a scarcity
problem. If there were enough supply and demand,
then everyone would be jumping on board. CJ,
what are you packing, so to speak? Because it's
not like you've got one of those magnificent
knapsacks that you can pluck any ammunition and
gun from. Now I'm going to have to make you have
a choice. I'm going to take a shaker, a Skogul
machine gun, and I'll leave behind the flamethrower
because it's out of fuel anyway. You swap munitions
and head towards the Whirler with no choice but
to evacuate using these escape pods. You press
the eject button and glide into the atmosphere.
Both whirlers are protected by the reinforced
cabin. You tumble and spiral like a sycamore
seed in the breeze, twirling through the upper
atmosphere. Captain Cole, holding tight onto
the controls, trying to steer the ship away from
the planet's atmosphere, but the heat becomes
intense. as you cascade towards Mother Iorth.
As it's clear that the ship is going down, do
I have comms with the weavers at all? You do.
There's certainly a moment here where you can
convey the wisdom of the ages to your departing
friends. Exactly. And such wisdom as I can come
up with. You hear Cole come over the radio and
say, You three bear witness to the reality of
the Doom and are the key to stopping the next
one. Do not let humanity, Alphar, and all others
down with your task. Go and be well. And then
I'm going to drop the comms, run down to wherever
the Weaver is with the grenades, and just let's
detonate it. The rest of you splash down near
a high and imposing headland and you are able
to wade from your whirlers across a sandy beach
to safety. The evening twilight is grey and sullen
and there is frost on the ground. Above you,
the Falkir plummets through the heavens, bursting
into bright... flame the wreck hurtles through
the night sky accompanied by furious winds thunder
and lightning and then disappears over the horizon
are you having a moment a minute silence for
the for the fallen yes yeah i am impressed that
you are actually shocked and forlorn because
normally the guests die and you just know bye
taylor you obviously got a special place in their
heart oh yes there's none so rare as can compare
with cole and his idiots three You could play
in here near my god to thee or something. That
would probably work. There we go. Yeah, exactly.
Or highway to hell. That might be good as well.
Boy. Well done, Mr. Taylor. Thank you. I'm wondering
if... How many episodes was that? If Gigi is
upset because he didn't actually actively accidentally
kill this one. He gave me the grenades. I mean...
It was a handing of the grenades, you know. This
record stands. You shiver in the cold. He doesn't
feel a thing. Because he's an unfeeling bastard.
Not far from your landing site. Not far from
your landing site. You spy along with wooden
walls and a turf roof. lit by fire pits at the
west end. There is no other signs of life. There's
no imperial ships in the sky. There's no... No
Statue of Liberty? Exactly. No Statue of Liberty.
Just a traditional wooden longhouse. I got a
bad feeling about this. Where the fuck are we?
When the fuck are we? Who the fuck are we?