Welcome to Vikings and Valkyries, an actual play podcast. We are playing When the Wolf
Comes, a role-playing game that wonders what if Vikings ruled the world. My name is Ian
Stuart Sharpe and I will be your Wayfinder for the ongoing campaign which we call the
Short and Memories Saga. Joining us to pillage and plunder this week are Bill, Steve, CJ,
Annina and Terry. Welcome to you, Slaughter Geese.
Ahoy!
Thank you, thank you very much.
Yay, plunder!
Now we've got a new guest who's joining us this week. Terry, Terry, we first met back
in 2018 when I needed a Viking for hire to recreate the cover of my Allfather Paradox
at the Gosforth Cross in Cumbria in England's Lake District and you came to the rescue
and also terrified my children with your array of weaponry. You were known as the Science
Viking. Tell us a little bit about what it is that you do.
Well, I like to call myself a historical interpreter now because that sounds posher. But I'm still
the Science Viking. But my main thing is all about history and science. I like to do both
at once. So I'm at the Jorvik Viking Festival every year presenting there in Parliament
Street all week. And while I do have a living history display with lots of artefacts and
stuff, a lot of them have got stories about the science behind them and also physics of
weapons. So I use sharp weapons to show the physics of weapons. And in that role, I am
known not just as the Science Viking, but Bjarne the Cabbage Killer. I use these specially
trained Viking battle cabbages as my volunteers. I'm not allowed to use people with sharp weapons.
Funnily enough, specially trained Viking cabbages is effectively what's on this podcast here.
So, you know, feel free to use Bill and Steve.
I would like us to be referred to as battle cabbages.
Tell us a little bit, Terry, about Moorforge, because that's on your doorstep. And since
I saw you last, that's really sprung into life and looks to have a thriving community
around it.
It does. Yeah, it's awesome. That's the main thing to say about it. I am so surprised at
how many people now know about it. I travel all over the country doing Viking stuff. And
I'm always getting asked about it. So, yeah, it's the brainchild of a friend of mine, David
Watson, who is a blacksmith, an industrial blacksmith. He got some land, owned some land,
inherited that and thought, wouldn't it be nice to put a Viking age smithy on the site?
And so some people came over from Iceland and built him a Viking smithy in the Icelandic
style. So it's got stone walls within and inside that is a wooden frame with a timber
roof, which is covered in sod. And yeah, it's awesome. But then, as David said, it's a hobby
that got out of hand. And now we have all sorts of reenactment events and craft and
folk music. And I also run the school visits there as well. So school children within about
an hour or 90 minutes drive of Moorforge can now rather than having to go to places like
across to Yorkshire and to see the Jorvik Viking Museum or maybe the Danelaw Centre, also in
Yorkshire. They've now got a local place where they can come and they can learn firsthand
what it was like to live on a Viking farmstead. Superb. Very cool. So at such a point as CJ's
books make enough money, he's going to pay for us all to go to Moorforge and have a live
podcast session. That's right, isn't it, CJ?
Perhaps. We'll see. Which is a good reminder. Go buy my books.
That sounded very much like a dad answer, CJ.
Perhaps. Maybe.
Maybe you can have an ice cream. Exactly. All right. Quiz time. So in honour of Terry
joining us and as a mirror to the endless Monty Python jokes that we have on this podcast,
I'm going to pose this question to you this week to earn your inspiration points. The
question is this. What have the Vikings ever done for us? By which I mean, give me five
inventions that are attributable to the Vikings.
They gave us the word kiosk.
I mean, it's an audacious start. It's an inspiration point right there.
I mean, maybe not invention, but I know they bathed more than that. That was I remember
reading that that's one of the reasons they were so attractive, especially to women was
because they bathe themselves more often than Brits.
That's true. Women like that plane thing. I'm making a note.
I think it was actually John of Wallingford in the 12th century wrote about that. And
it's possibly and some people suggest it as possibly one of the reasons for the St. Bryce's
Day Massacre. Yeah, because the Danes were causing the Saxon women to into infidelity
and immoral behavior. And also the Saxon women were marrying the Danes rather than the Saxons.
Bloody Vikings.
Yeah, I know. I've got a good one. OK, it's navigation. Back in the 1950s, I believe it
was the the Russians developed a thing called the Twilight Compass. And this was to enable
them when they're flying over the pole. Obviously, magnetic compasses don't work. So when you're
flying over the pole, you can use the polarization and the direction of polarization of the sunlight
to find out which way you're going or where the sun is exactly. And then you can find
out which way you're going. Apparently, the inspiration for that was the Viking Sunstone
Icelandic bar that was mentioned in I can't remember which King Saga. But apparently,
the Viking Sunstone was inspiration for the modern Twilight Compass.
There was a recent study last year that actually gave more weight to the idea that they actually
use those. And speaking of new studies, I have one that I just put out on my blog, too,
which is about the the crampons or the metal hooks that were put on shoes to give traction
in the winter. So kind of like the what we use today, the the what do you call those?
Yeah, yeah. Shoes, spikes, crampons. Yeah. And the Vikings were were using those out
in the mountains. They even put them on their horses. They had special things that they
put on their horses to allow them to have better traction in winter. Does that does
that satisfy your thirst?
You have made this one a bit too easy and we should go back to.
No, no, no, no. The whole thing's got hijacked. I think that Terry and CJ get to award the
inspiration points this week because they took it like, it's very good. And let's not
forget Annina and her grooming, because yes, the
rumor and the ear spoon is very important to mention the ear spoon. I think I was thinking
this week that podcast, which is one of those portmanteaus that came about in 2004, we should
just go back to a thousand years ago when we just had a good old fashioned ear spoon
and use that as the name for this podcast.
They actually work really well. I've got one and I use it and it's really good.
You use it for your ear wax? Yes. Very nice. Very nice. All right. So yes, comb, ear spoon,
grooming. We talked about navigation there. You could have had the longboat, things like
fines, trials and parliament in general, skis, ski poles, the sun compass, the sunstone.
There's lots of things that the Vikings have done for us. But apart from personal grooming,
the influence on language and a vast trade network, what have they ever done for us?
Questionable, but entertaining B-movies.
All right. Now we have a lot to get through in this new exciting adventure, which I call
Blood Bath at Rodrecker's Drift. So again, Alina, one of those picnic episodes.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is fun.
That's good. Good housekeeping. So we usually do the kind of leveling up and such things
offline. But as last week's episode was a little traumatizing for everyone involved
with torture, murder, mayhem, imprisonment, sorcery, all of that kind of thing. We do
need to go back to trauma and I need to get a couple of roles from people. I'm going to
start with Bill. Bill, would you please make me a Will challenge role with two woes to
represent the fact that it was not fine and you got slightly singed?
My Will is, oh dear, nine minus one modifier. So that's a zero. And then we'll roll the
two woes and see how much better it gets. I think we could just skip that.
A trap, another four. So I think I'm well into the sand trap.
So I'm going to now ask you to roll two dice, three because of your memory loss disorder.
You double your trauma.
OK, so I got a one and a three.
OK, so four total. Now, if you like, it's entirely up to you and your character development.
You can either add that trauma to your total or you can trade that for another disorder.
I'm going to suggest that you have flashbacks to previous lives or current lives or anything
that's going on. You're not entirely sure what century you're living in. You're good
with that then? You're going to go for it?
Let's do that flashback on it.
CJ, I'm also going to ask you to make the same Will roll.
I did the bad roll already, so you can do a good roll
So I'm going to not give you so many rows because you weren't set on fire. So if you
just give me a Will roll straight.
Love it. Ten plus one eleven.
Then you are successful. You don't gain any additional trauma. But I am going to give
you one shame, I'm afraid, to apply to your total because murdering poor Bjorn, even accidentally
on purpose, not necessarily in the Viking ethic. Also, the rich clothing that you wear
is now rather soiled. And while you did get a bonus to your honor because of the swanky
garb that you were wearing, you're probably going to have to purloin some unfashionable
clothes from that apartment block on your way out. Otherwise, you're going to be walking
around in soiled pantaloons. Either way, until such time as you get yourself some new fancy
dubs, you don't get that bonus.
Steve, we finally dragged them down to our level.
And on that note, Steve, as heir, you've started to assume that you're immortal. But I'm afraid
that is not guaranteed in the sense that if you gain trauma beyond your Will, you can
actually go into a vegetative state a bit like Bill. So can you give me a Will roll
as well, Steve, with two woes?
So we've dragged CJ down to her level, and now I'm going to move the level.
Well, we have to, otherwise he has nothing to aim for.
Yeah. So 12 plus 2 is 14, minus 6 is 8.
Right. So give me a dice 3 for the amount of trauma and then a dice 6 as well, because
the process of dying repeatedly, even though you inhabit new bodies, is still quite traumatic.
So dice 3 and a dice 6.
Die 3, first of all. That's a 3, because of course it is. And then a dice 6 is 5.
So that would, in an ordinary scenario, put you into that vegetative state that I talked
about and render you a drooling, babbling moron.
No one will notice.
So what I'm going to do is instead, just the same with Bill, I'm going to offer you another
disorder to take. And you've all heard of the elf on the shelf. Well, I'm going to give
you a disorder called seer in the ear, by which I mean that...
I mean an ear spoon.
Because at the same time as Gigi gunned down you and the old man Hrani, both of those
spirits were then errant and floating. And I'm going to say that they have both been
caged in your new diamond form, your new deluxe body when you stole Redgold's body.
Liberated.
Yes, sure. Hrani is now going to be stuck in the same body with you, at least. You're
going to have whispers of crazy old soothsayer. Now, how is that going to represent in game?
I'm going to give you a bonus. The bonus is that you will gain the sacrificial chip spell,
the one that Hrani tried to cast on your behalf. That represents the old soothsayer
whispering in your ear from the dark recesses of your mind. But at the same time, because
you're even more fractured than usual, when you gain strain, I'm going to double it.
Okay.
That's all right.
Let's see if we can raise the bar.
A couple of questions about that. So, Eir is still in the driver's seat, but Hrani
is the chatty copilot. Is that fair?
He's more like an annoying earworm who will occasionally chime in. You can certainly consult
him in the form of these yes-no questions.
Oh, so when Eir uses sacrificial chip, he's consulting Hrani?
Exactly. That's how we'll manifest it. You can get him to give you the yes-no question.
He is the seer in your ear.
What's that, Hrani? Kill them all.
Now, what does that do to his overall trauma score when he gets a new problem?
So you added, what did you add? Eight total. So that would take you to 16. So I'm going
to say one less than your maximum.
So 11.
11. Yeah.
So we're all primed for another disorder.
Cracking up, basically.
I wouldn't want Steve you to go away thinking that red gold was demolished or have met his
demise because clearly his spirit will pass on and probably just switch into your old
broken down heap of old shit. And so he's going to be correspondingly annoyed at such
a point as you meet him. The switch as well means that you shouldn't really show your
face in dökkálfar territory.
Well, question about that. Yeah, is that I understood from reading that the dökkálfar
can modify the appearance of their vehicle body to some extent?
Indeed.
So if that's true, would if Eir was to modify the appearance of the body he's inhabiting,
would other people look at it and go, oh yeah, no, that's clearly Red gold's old body? Or
would, is there a possibility to disguise it by modifying it?
You can apply a new paint job, but ultimately it is such an ornate and distinct body that
it will be immediately apparently belong to the enclave leader. The best thing to do and
the way that the rules represent that changing form is to use your shape gifts or your disguise
spells, your saver spells. So that's the best way around any obvious purloining of other
vehicle's physical forms.
Okay.
Alright.
The chandelier on the chandelier on the head is a giveaway, isn't it?
Little bit. So like most dökkálfar, he sported an elaborate headdress that displayed his
wealth. And now you have the same. You are dripping with diamonds. Annina, you appeared
at the end of the episode doing a heroic fight back. You had clawed your way out of the
trapping pit. Obviously our heroes here had just left you not understanding. It wasn't
so much a chasm as a 10 foot drop. You were able to hide using your stuff. And then like
Gandalf, return. You know, from like Gandalf the White, perhaps you've got a little, a
little white fleck or two on your snout, but you came back and you use that immortal and
from Return of the King that you come back now at the turn of the tide, just like Gandalf
and save the day, help them get their collective butts out of the mines.
Alright. That then does the housekeeping portion of this. Let us begin with this week's exciting
adventure. You emerge from the dark tunnels of the dökkálfar to find that Harbard the
Ferryman is long gone and you must walk from the abandoned mining settlement all the way
along the fjord. The only sound is the encroaching ice and the nervous chatter of nearby Arctic
birds as your friend the Wolverine passes by. The wind is merciless and the cold becomes
part of you biting at your cheeks as you trudge forward on the frozen ground. In the distance,
the massive peaks of Heimslit stretch towards the heavens, their snow-capped tips blurring with the
gradually darkening sky.
Right. So that was horrible. Do you like, does everyone like my new body? How do you like my
new body? Isn't it wonderful?
Gigi, Ljomi says, would you tell Eir that I don't want him to think that he's all that just
because of the bling he's wearing now?
Can you give me a quick breakdown of what this new body looks like?
So it's made of primarily of black stone. It is tall. It is, it's sort of like,
chiseled like, not really chiseled, it's formed. It's like a Greek god, if you will, perfectly
proportioned, muscled and thoroughly covered in diamonds and expensive stones with this elaborate
headdress coming out of the top. It's just that it is a bit overdone, all things considered, but
so is the person he got it from. So it's just, yeah, it's like you can have a magnificent black
stone Greek god following you around. Who wouldn't want that?
It's very last year.
Eir the Ostentatious?
Yes, thank you. That's the word and has no bugs on it whatsoever.
Are there any dangly bits on the hat?
Yes, there are almost certainly dangly bits.
OK, in that case, Alma will be like batting one like a cat going...
Oh, well, we'll sort of jiggle our head like a... make them dangle like a cat toy.
She does that thing where she gets really excited and tries to catch it in between.
Jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle.
I think you look fantastic, old boy, dare I say magnificent. That's my name, by the way.
It's a compliment.
Thank you, Gigi. I'll never outshine you.
Now, you did find out a little about the document, the land deed. You did find out that the dökkálfar
had some interesting insight and information into what was going on in Heimslit.
Do you have the land deed out? Have you shown it to Alma?
I don't know if we showed it to Alma before, did we? I think it's still with the law speaker
back where we came from.
That's correct.
Is that... I believe that's true, right. So I don't think Alma has seen it.
So what I understand is that the... and there was a ship... was it Nailwys... Nailfarer?
Nailwys, Nailfarer, that's it, was... and it's been hidden away. The Empire hid it away in Sokkavabekkr.
I don't know if I'm pronouncing that right.
No.
And it is... oh, OK, good. And it is the key to the whole thing, or it might be.
I don't know exactly where the boat is hidden. Underground?
There was a whole slew of slightly confusing questions as part of the interrogation of these
guys. The most skilled of inquisitors asked questions that they already know the answer to
in an attempt to see what their hostages knew. And it turns out that the hostages didn't know very
much. That's not to say that they might not have gleaned from those questions some kind of
information that would be useful to them going forward.
The other thing was it became clear that the dökkálfar had somehow tracked everything we had been
doing. They knew where we had been pretty much the entire adventure. I suspect Eir had a bug on him
or something. Or that some dökkálfar thing had spied through his back.
No, you're the one with bugs.
Isn't he just spiritually connected to them? Kind of like bored?
That's what I'm wondering. They can look through his eyes, yeah.
What's that, Prani? Kill them all.
Well, you do have at least a few names to conjure with, some ideas of what might be going on,
and some lines of questioning that you can pursue. And presumably, you do want to, instead of sailing
back across the fjord, take the long way around and find your way back to Hjálpmakaar and continue
your quests. So, a couple of days into your long march back to Hjálpmakaar, on the horizon, as the
sun basically is really now just a glimpse of light on the horizon as we approach the Arctic
winter, you see an electric whirr and a new sun appears on the horizon. There's a flurry of
dazzling headlamps and bright yellow robes as someone slides into view on a sleek and
subtle speeder. He is a cybernetic watcher, all goggles and motorized mechanisms.
Terry, take it away.
What do I see as I approach?
Good question.
I see four figures, but I notice one of them is very sparkly.
One of them is covered in leafy substances.
And bugs.
One of them is very large.
That's Ljomi.
Yeah.
Large.
Grjotgarth is very large.
He's a huge human.
Looking like a human, but large.
Enhanced.
And one large animal, slightly looks like a bear, not quite, but is walking on two feet.
It's sort of a humanoid aggro cat.
Yeah. A looks like a Wolverine, if you know what a Wolverine looks like.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
In game terms, Terry, what you are seeing is a group of characters, one of whom is a peasant
alpha, one is a dökkálfar one is the Jarnvigia or the ironwoodite, and the other is a Jofurr,
a genetically enhanced superhuman who thinks he is a god and may well be.
In Sesame Street terms, four of these things are not like the others.
So as I approach, the smart alpha, the shiny sparkly one, wouldn't be any good for spare
parts for my skíðverg
You're going to fit right in.
Unfortunately, no, his previous incarnation would have been a full on automated robot.
This one is much more a creature of rock and mineral and all the more illustrious for it.
Ah, so as I approach and I get a closer look, I take my finger off of the firing button
for my harpoon cannon, thinking, nah, that would probably just blunt the harpoon, that'd
be no good, nothing in there.
And I come and I sort of do a skid around so that I sort of, with a great whoosh of snow,
I sort of come on and then sort of skid around sideways to them as I stop.
A dramatic entrance.
Oh, yes.
Yes, dramatic.
Oh, yes, yes.
And then I just look and I give them all a very hard stare, especially the shiny one.
And then I say, where are you bound?
Hello, traveler.
We are on our way to Hjalmakaar
Do you know of it?
You look like an likely lot.
That's good.
You can help us.
At that, your skíðverg pipes up.
Heil Villiblom, Bleikr Ivaldison, the counsel wise, renowned defender of the gods,
the courage-strong son of eight mothers and one.
The Grotgarth snaps out of his daydream.
Oh, yes, where are my manners?
Introductions, thank you.
Skíðverg , I shall introduce myself to you, stranger.
My name is Gryotgarth, the magnificent.
My friends call me Gigi for sure.
Well met.
I, sir, am Ljomi.
I am the one who has most recently been betrayed by someone I thought was a close friend,
an ally, as it were, who had died most horribly and sadly.
And I grieve for them.
Oh, how I grieved.
But now it turns out that they are untruthful, a black heart, and very full of themselves.
Which one of them is it?
The tall one, the beast won't leave alone.
You really should move the beast away from that thing.
It's not...
Gigi, would you tell Eir to shoo the beast away before it gets hurt by his pointy appendages?
Why is it my job to speak to him?
He has ears, he can hear you.
Well, I'm not speaking to him.
I should have thought that was obvious.
I'm not speaking to him.
As you can tell, our new friend, he's the cheerful one.
Oh, hello.
She's gonna come a little bit closer and start snuffling like, hello, I'm Alma.
Sorry, it's just really distracting.
Yes, yes.
And you, shiny.
I am Eir.
I am still somewhat disoriented.
I have recently inhabited a new form and I'm still getting used to...
Sorry, shut up, Hrani
I'm still getting used to its function.
He got a new can.
I did.
My previous one was a Dverg, which is now probably in pieces.
Let's wait for him.
By the white Christ, are we bored yet?
Shut up, Megan Fjarth
Don't listen to this thing.
Unfortunately, I gave it too much free will.
This supposed genius invented the skíðverg , then forgot to patent it.
Cost him millions.
Snow and ice, can't stand the stuff.
Well, that's what you were built for.
I also have a companion of questionable sanity.
Can you make this one talk?
And she holds out her little droid.
I'm probably good.
A little look after that indeed Villiblom could have a look at.
I could, but I doubt if I will.
Oh.
No. If it turns out anything like Megan Fjarth, then no.
I mean, yeah, a different voice would be nice.
Yes, I'm sure it would.
I could be in a museum in Asgard right now.
Oh, okay.
Megan Fierce, enough.
Are you going to tell them about the mission?
Better get on with it then.
As my skíðverg said, I am Villublom Bleikr Ivaldisson.
And I am looking for drengr.
Or would be drengr.
I'm in.
Let's go kill something.
What is it?
I don't know.
Drengr is someone ultimately trustworthy.
Someone you would trust your very life with.
And your, more importantly, your reputation with.
Ah, I've got a really bad one.
So yes.
Excuse me, Yellowfellow.
You know what I mean.
Oh, it's the insane one.
Yes, just spoke there, the insane one.
Yellowfellow, I would just like to offer that-
Villeblom.
Villeblom Blamp, yes.
That our companion is not trustworthy.
The bejeweled one.
You don't want to make him a drengar.
Well, I've said my piece.
Well, I shall take that under consideration.
A lot of consideration.
Because Verge cannot be trusted.
I mean, look at my skíðverg
So yes.
So come back with me.
And we are going to fight Orceas
Orcneas are on the horizon.
Creatures of vacuum and void.
Yes, very good.
May I speak with your skíðverg?
Is that all right?
No.
No?
Okay, its name was Megan Harry?
Is that right?
Megan Fjord.
Okay.
Directly related to the royal family.
That's what I was getting at.
I've calculated your chance of survival.
But I don't think you'll like it.
Oh, I'm a really good fighter.
Marvin, yes.
How far away are we from where we're going?
About a few hours now.
On foot you'll have to go at the same pace as these people walking along as opposed to
zooming off ahead on your skíðverg.
Well, I can scout ahead anyway, can't I?
When Megan Fjord said he can see Orcneas on the horizon, was that literally?
He was referring to the fact that you have been out on the snow and ice together and
the reason you are headed back to Hjálpmakaar is because you have spotted a potential invasion
force.
And in actual fact, these guys have also seen Orcneas abroad.
Have you not?
Can you remember?
Come on, Gigi.
Yeah, he's using his integral face.
Here we go.
He looks like he has a clue.
I will remind you there were two instances.
The first was when the drone looked after relayed to you the video of an Orcneas scout
walking through the auditorium.
Gigi was probably a little bit too preoccupied at that point.
Annina, you might remember that and you can certainly review that footage should you
wish to.
And the second instance was presumably the same scout's head was found in the dungeon.
It failed on the spear.
So you have seen the Orcneas around.
Orcneas, the devil corpses, the Grendelkin of myth and lore are almost unheard of on
Midgard.
They were born in the last days of the Jotun War as wonder weapons.
That war ended several years ago.
These creatures are incredibly rare and ferocious.
And if they are on the Heimslitt, then it would give you all cause for concern.
So are you with me?
Sure, certainly.
Absolutely.
I should have you know I won the silver medal in the all Asgard games for Togahonk.
He did.
Togahonk
Have you ever been really, really cold?
I have.
All the time.
I've got fur, so no.
You're designed to be cold, Megan Fjord.
Stop complaining.
Keep the rubber side down, Megan Fjord.
That's what they say to me.
Into the rhubarb, Megan Ford.
Megan Ford, can you heal my throttle thumb?
Here I am, circuits connected to MIM himself.
And they ask me to go for a rip.
I believe I can help with this Dvergar and his poor attitude.
I have some abilities where I believe I could reprogram him to have a more cheery disposition.
If I may.
Well, as the leading expert in skíðverg , as they were my invention,
I'm going to say leave him alone, please.
Gives me something to complain about.
His tech skills are like his business's traction.
Over-hyped and under-delivered.
Also let me know if you'd like me to shoot him.
All right.
As you march forward, darkness creeps in from the east, slowly blotting out the vistas of the land.
And where moments ago you beheld the stark frozen beauty of the tundra,
is now slowly engulfed by the relentless shadow of winter.
Across the trails, Hjalpmakaar sparkles with an electric halo.
The warm lights of the brightly coloured wooden houses offer solace from the biting cold
and invite you in for safety, rest and the warmth of the dwellings of men.
Slipping back into town, you realise you're about to see the last sliver of Sol for many months.
And you turn to watch as the serpentine fjords and vast ice sheets fade briefly in strange blue half-light.
And then, nothing.
An inky darkness descends like a funeral shroud.
Welcome to the Polar Nights.
Ghastly, isn't it?
We have flares, right?
I made sure.
Yeah, okay.
A while ago.
Yeah.
I mean, we can still see you.
You're so sparkly.
I can still see you now.
Does the body include lighting, or is it just sparkling from reflected light?
So you will only be visible from reflected light.
You still have your infrared vision.
Villeblom has a visor that connects him to the evergreen and has the sightless ability.
So Villeblom is effectively able to sense all kinds of things, almost like echolocation.
Alma has the night vision of any good animal.
And her eyes will now catch the reflection of the moon and glare back at you.
It's Gigi who has the real problem without a decent light source,
and will be blundering in the dark unless you get that torch of yours out of the backpack.
Does Megan Fjord have headlights?
It does indeed.
Well, I'll turn the headlights on.
Very good.
That's just good thinking right there. That's good.
He's not a science viking for nothing.
What does Villiblom look like to us?
I've just got that appearance of glamour and mystery.
So I'm in my long yellow robes. I have a visor across, yeah, think Gordy La Forge.
This visor. I've got on my, coming from my shoulders, there are two robotic small arms
with little pincers that can hold light things, but they're very agile and dexterous.
So yeah, I'm sort of a cyborg. I've got these beautiful long yellow robes that I'm wearing.
And I move with a grace that makes you slightly awestruck with my aura of mystery.
And you think the shiny one is glamorous. He's not got a patch on me.
It's a different kind of glamour, isn't it?
Yeah, welcome.
And Villiblom is one of the sons of Ivaldi set to watch for incursions into Hjalpmakaar
He used to run a weather station similar to Thule Station that you blew up.
What would you like to do while you are now in Hjalpmakaar?
You notice that while the, like I said, the warm lights of the brightly coloured houses
are glowing in this polar night, it is now pitch black apart from those electric halos.
The streets are completely and eerily deserted.
There is the occasional wandering moose oven that is devoid of people.
And that's bizarre.
Do the buildings have signs outside, like, you know, like, you know,
to show where the inn is or maybe the town hall or something like that?
Or a clothes shop.
There are a range of different places that these guys have been to in the past,
such as the cooking kettle, which is a local hostelry.
There is Gunner's Gun Shop. There are hotels.
This is a thriving town, normally teeming with life and crowds.
One of the things that you will know, as good northerners,
is that because the sun has just set for the last time,
people should be out on the streets celebrating or rather commiserating,
raising a toast to the end of the light for the next few months.
But strangely, no one is on the streets doing that.
They would normally be carousing and excitement and partying.
Ljomi's going to cast Corpse Charm right now.
Where is everyone?
Yeah, where's the clothes shop?
I rolled an 11 at Ian.
So that gives you 11 spirits as part of your Corpse Charm.
You reach out to the Landvaettir, the spirits of the world,
and they infuse you with wisdom and knowledge.
And you can either use those to improve your roles or to ask questions.
It's got to be a yes-no question.
It has. And again, Steve, if you want to use your Seer in the Ear ability, then no.
One question.
Well, OK, so does Eir need to have the instrument for that spell,
for Spa spells in order to use that ability?
No, but that is your question.
Use that.
Fair enough.
Don't say he's a benevolent god.
I disagree.
I don't.
OK.
All right, so someone, I think Alma said, are there sounds?
You were listening for sounds of people.
Someone said that.
Yeah.
That was you.
Yeah.
That was me.
It was you.
Oh, me.
Yeah, I hear that buzzing again.
I'm pretty sure it was the beast.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was.
Are there sounds?
Do we hear any sounds, Alma?
Any sounds of people?
Any anything at all?
A dog barking in the distance?
Alma has incredibly acute senses that are only enhanced by her drone,
as well as her natural kind of psychic abilities.
You do get the sense that straining your keen ears,
that people are just inside, as opposed to wandering the streets,
carousing and cavorting with their beer they've taken to hiding behind locked doors.
I suppose the first place I'd want to go would be the Firefox Institute.
Everyone's inside for some reason.
Villiblom, that is true.
You would want to go to see your boss, your senior son of Ivaldi
who's Bangsi Ivaldison at the Firefox Institute.
These guys, though, might want to hop in at the law speaker on the way.
Me?
It's entirely up to you.
You tell me what you would rather hear.
I was thinking we could show Eir's new diamond-encrusted form to Gunnar.
I thought we'd get his attention.
Might be a little extra helpful.
Anyway, any order.
It's okay.
Is it your mandate to check in with the Institute?
Oh, don't ask him.
Yes, yes, that's the headquarters of the Sons of Ivaldi here.
They're the ones who sent me out.
I want to report back and tell them that I've got four possibly worthy people to help protect the town.
I would be pleased to come with, if you permit it.
I do have one staff to make on the way.
It would probably be better if you waited outside, but I'm sure we can accommodate the other three.
Oh, great.
I feel so welcome.
I quite like the yellow fellow, he says.
He has a name, three.
I warn you, sometimes people scream when they see me first.
Well, I'll go in first.
Yeah.
Also, we were somewhat involved in the death of one of your compatriots, Brynn.
No, no.
She died bravely, but I'm not entirely certain your kin will welcome us.
I believe the phrase you're reaching for, Gigi, would be we were witnesses to her death.
Yes.
As somewhat involved suggests an active part that I'm not fully.
Certainly.
Megan Fjord, the skíðverg chimes up.
Do you want me to just sit in a corner and rust, or shall I just fall apart wherever I'm standing?
Oh, I'll talk to you, don't worry.
You can go to the garage where you belong.
Snow.
Loathe it or ignore it.
You can't like it.
There's the skíðverg garage right next to the Firefox Institute.
You know that's where you're going.
There you go there. I'll call you when I need you.
Alright, the Firefox Institute is a pine-clad, airy building that has the demeanour of a centre of learning.
It normally is full of students entering through its large doors,
but this time you can only see one lamp burning in a distant window.
The doors are open, you could enter into the echoing halls,
bereft of the usual hubbub of activity,
and find your way to the office which is lit by that lamp.
Right, well, I'm going to go that way.
I'll send Megan Fjord to the garage.
I take it you can get there on his own?
He doesn't need me to drive him?
He doesn't need you to drive him.
He's a bit like one of Tesla's automated cars.
You hope he'll get there without bringing any cars.
If it worked. One of Tesla's cars.
Hopefully more aesthetically pleasing.
Well, you don't like the Cybertruck?
I don't like something that looks like it was made in Minecraft.
I've heard it described as birth control for men.
It is that.
And I shall go to the usual office where I'd expect to find Bangsi at this time of day.
Okay, and I'm going to assume that you're all in tow
since you have all been offered the opportunity to be heroes of the hour time.
Air wall hang back a bit.
Not to be difficult, but Gryotgarth would like to clean up a bit.
It's been a long journey, one filled with less than savory events
and a nice bath and clothing, change of clothes and food would be nice.
I am hungry.
I'm sure you can wait for five minutes.
Let's just get this out of the way.
Introduce yourselves to Bangsi or introduce your lot to Bangsi
and then you can go and do whatever ablutions you feel like.
Okay.
He's going to sigh and go,
I really would prefer to meet new people not looking like I crawled out of a hellhole.
Well, you all look the same.
It doesn't matter.
You're all obviously hardworking people.
Even I've got a bit of crusted snow around the rim of my beautiful yellow robes.
So don't think yourself special.
I'm working.
I'm hardly hardworking.
I'm a Jöfurr
I haven't worked a day in my life.
I'm proud of it.
It makes you look outdoorsy.
It's a good thing.
Yes, outdoorsy.
The smell of manure is evocative of fresh fields.
Gryotgarth is offended.
All right, fine.
Let's go.
You ratatat on the door and you hear in reply,
come the fuck in or fuck the fuck off.
That direct.
Well, I'll open the door.
Had worse welcomes.
And go through.
Villibom, what do you saddle geese want?
I have warriors, proven warriors to help protect against the Orcneas are.
And talk about the old now.
Is that why nobody's visible?
Is everyone quaking in their boots indoors rather than manning the walls?
Orcneas? what are you blathering about, man?
Everyone's indoors because of the quarantine.
Raboon fever is rife.
Raboon fever.
Have you been out in the snow too long?
Have your wits been addled?
Raboon fever.
There is a clear lockdown.
Well, that's going to be problematic then because we've got an army of Orcneas on their way,
heading in our direction.
And we don't do something about it.
Raboon fever or not, everyone's doomed.
It's going to be a slaughter.
And what evidence do you have, pray tell, for this invasion, this incursion of nightmares from Nastrond?
Is it once again drawn from your fanciful imagination?
No.
Drawn from my own eyes.
And also, I do believe that some of these, my companions, shall we say, some of them have also seen them.
So we have more than one eyewitness.
Yes, yes, I've seen one.
We've seen them.
Indeed we saw the remains.
And where did you see these remains?
Around.
Oh, very specific.
Well done, you sanctimonious lubberwart.
In Kóngssteinn?
Yes, Kóngssteinn.
We have a recording, I believe.
Yes, we did.
Yes, we did, yeah.
It's in my look after, yeah.
OK, so you plan to play the recording?
Yes.
Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi.
If there's a rewind button to that specific spot.
You may play the clip at which point Bangsi, the white-robed overseer of the Firefox Institute, the chief of the Winterwise, looks incredibly concerned.
And he mumbles the words under his breath, Sokkvabekkr
See?
What's that?
God's alive, the fate of our town looks to be in the hands of a skunk-bearer, rhinestone cowboy, an adult spruce and a fopdoddle.
Well, I have made my bed, I must lie in it.
It's Wolverine, not Skunk.
Yeehaw.
And I was the silver medalist in the Tonga Honk at the old Asgard games.
And, my dear, the Evergreen has been badly compromised, no thanks to these fools' explosive antics, so I cannot directly warn anyone at the site.
I will give you the location of Sökkvabekkr and you must go there.
It is undoubtedly the destination of the Orcneas.
They must have got wind of our plans.
So, I will give you the keys to the Institute's basement garage, and you can drive people on your own obnoxious inventions.
I will program the machines with the correct coordinates, and I urge you to hurry whilst I organize reinforcements.
That sounds like a very wise plan.
I think we should spend one night resting and reprovisioning, and then, first thing in the morning...
Oh no, there is no time to wait!
I'm sorry, I didn't realize I had to run all my decisions past your bedwetter's switchboard.
No, you will go this instant, and take this Klazomaniac with you.
Very well. Right, you lot, let's go.
Okay.
Ljomi says, yellow fellow, when your friend said the Orcneas found out about your plans, what plans?
These are plans of the Sons of Ivaldi. Unless you are one of the Sons of Ivaldi, this is something you do not need to know.
All our information, or all the information that I'll give you, is on a need-to-know basis.
Excellent, thank you. Thank you very much, ma'am.
The Skíðverg's are all accessible from the same garages in which Megan Fjortir's stowed.
They quickly use their sentience to share the location, the coordinates, and they will automatically drive off in those directions.
You can have one each, although Villiblom, being an acknowledged inventor of these, is much more deft and dexterous,
and able to drive his own personal skíðverg with some skill.
You shouldn't usually have two. You need two sleds.
And while that might be the case for sleds, you are just going to have to get your oversized rump onto...
Your knees up by your ears as you ride them.
Still looking very heroic, if somewhat cramped.
That's bad, because his pants are really soiled.
You can wash them in the snow.
Do the other skíðverg talk?
They do, but most of them now take a cue from Megan Fjortir and are kind of sullen and disrespectful,
and recognizing that their inventor is riding them off into the freezing cold, all of them refuse to actually talk to you.
That's just as well.
Well, I didn't program them this way, but they are designed actually to go through and on,
and are a great aid to traveling through snow and ice.
This feature, I won't call it a bug, I'll call it a feature in their programming.
So it makes them more interesting to ride.
Can I tell the skíðverg to follow the skíðverg of Master Villablom?
I can pinpoint the distance with exact accuracy, you know.
They will all chain link into the coordinates and follow in single file along the path that the first one carves out.
So who would like to go first? What is your skíðverg order?
I expect Master Villablom should be in front.
Well, as the leader of this expedition, obviously I'm in front.
Obviously, yes. I don't know what I was thinking.
Gigi likes to be out front, so probably in a close second place, uncomfortably close.
Not riding parallel to him, I would have thought.
Almost.
I'll use my skills to make sure that he's always a good 10 paces behind me.
It is proper place.
I guess I'll go third then?
Oh, I think you should be at the back.
I don't need you in this, do I?
Yeah. No, no Dverg, thank you.
I'll be in between Ljomi and...
I'll be second to last.
Second to last, right.
So, Ljomi, that puts you squarely in the middle.
Yep, and I've arranged my bugs on my arm so everyone can enjoy the experience.
It's important to pay attention to the living ones and ignore the big tenures like the diamond-encrusted idiot.
That's alright, at the back, you never know, he might even fall behind and get lost.
Who can hope?
I can only hope.
You power on the headlamps and zip across the trails to the west, heading again in the direction of the Troll's Tongue and past the mines on the outskirts of town.
You recognize that the coordinates that have been programmed in are a little-known disused mine called Rodrekkers Drift, an abandoned mineshaft.
You recall the fact that it was owned by a prospector by the name of Rodrekkr
He died by suicide after he went bankrupt, digging up an empty hill.
Better that than drink himself to death, the locals said.
The name Drift either comes from the wood that bundles on the nearby shore, the flurries of snow that pile high around the empty shaft, or the wanderings of the poor man's broken mind.
That is where you are headed.
It seems to be in a similar mounting range to Mine 7, the two shafts being adjacent to each other.
It is a very peaceful, tranquil night.
The moon glistens from an otherwise unblemished sky.
The only thing that continues to attract your attention is the red glowing scar on the sky that stretches above the moon.
It's like it is a halo.
Anyone doing anything in particular?
I'm going to be using my senses to make sure that I'm aware of any other living beings in the medium range so that we can't get snuck up on by.
Because if the orkneas are on their way, and we're heading in the same direction, I want to make sure we're not ambushed.
You are watchful and wary.
Watchful and wary? I am on the lookout for bacon trees.
Bacon trees?
Bacon trees, yeah.
That sounds magical.
The thing is, you see, if you're looking for a bacon tree, it might turn out to be a Ham Bush instead.
Wow.
That's excellent.
I am impressed, actually.
I'm totally stealing that one.
That's the best pun of the campaign.
Whilst your senses, Villiblom, from your cybernetic devices are keen, they are not quite as keen as the extrasensory perception of Alma the Wolverine.
Alma, if you had Spidey Sense or if your drone had Spidey Sense, it would certainly be tingling.
After an hour's ride, you get a very clear warning from your dreamsight.
You get glimpses of a future as yet untold, where the moonlight sky is torn apart by dozens of descending figures gliding down on parachutes.
While we're riding, is there a way to communicate with each other, or is the noise too much?
It's both the noise momentum and the whistle of the wind that makes it very hard for you to communicate effectively.
You could certainly get some kind of message out, but some of it will have to be hand signals.
I think she'll make a howl. Yeah, a howl noise as an alert.
During this ride, she's been having the time of her life until the dreamsight kicked in.
So also, her body language has changed from a dog enjoying a car ride very, very much to alertness.
Your lolling tongue snatched back into your mouth as you realized that dreamsight has given you a split second warning of something that is actually happening.
There is something in the sky, not men, but something far fowler as they drift into medium range on their parachutes.
Villablom, you see them as well. Paratroopers, Rime jewelled and Ice Blue, crackling with cold, dropping through the moonlight above.
Their decayed faces flash in your headlamps, revealing empty eyes and sharpened teeth.
Their trajectory is rapid and direct, and they plunge straight into your path.
Blooms of snow erupting as they land. Everyone, please give me a slight roll.
And give me one woe on that, because you are all traveling at speeds.
With the exception of Terry, you can have two weals because you are a masterful racer of these machines.
I got a 2 plus 1 minus 3. I got a 5 plus 4 minus 4. So a lovely 5.
I got an 8 on my D20. Oh, 6. 14 fatal? Yep. Had to use a calculator, but mine adds up to 0.
That makes two of us. I rolled 18, but I get a plus 2 on slight, so it gives me a 20, and then the woe was a 1. So a 9.
The list describes the impressive pileup that happens.
Not a benevolent card. Not a benevolent card.
Villiblom in the lead, riding Megan Fjord. You twist your throttle and plow on through,
just as two of the parachuters land almost in your headlights.
You swerve at the last minute and plow forward, casting an eye back at the rest of your party,
only to see three of the skíðverg following all crash into each other and their riders fly off in a very loud thud, a crang,
and the skíðverg all begin to bicker amongst themselves as to who is the most incompetent driver.
Ljomi, you are able to deftly slide around and continue on your path, avoiding the smash-up.
But the rest of you, can you all please make me another slight roll?
A roll of 11.
I'm going to enable you to see whether you can land adroitly on your feet or whether you plow headfirst into an icy bank.
21.
12.
Okay, all of you, to some extent, avoid utter catastrophe and remain with some kind of balance.
Alma, you have incredible poise and slide with a skid onto all four fours and stand immediately in front of one of the gruesome orcs.
Its grizzly visage, savage, its eyes glowing with a holy hunger, its rotten teeth, beard, and ghastly grin of anticipation.
You notice that all of these paratroopers who are landing carry storm shooters, such as Gigi has used in recent battles to mow people down.
How many are there?
A quick glance around says more than ten.
I predict violence.
How close is the snowbank?
There are kind of nothing particularly tall.
There are just ridges that are made along this well-worn trail.
Any trees?
No trees.
The whole of this tundra is a tree-less area. Nothing grows this far north beyond the height of a few more inches.
Only burials that take place, funeral fires, are lit with driftwood.
A very important question.
Are Dvergar considered people?
If I were to grab one and hold it as a Dvergar shield, would that earn me shame?
Dvergar are considered generally a thrall class, and so no, if you were to use your skíðverg as cover, then you could have three-quarters cover, at least from Orpheus on that side of you.
However, they are landing in a ring around you.
But no, you could hide behind your skíðverg without incurring shame.
You might incur the ire of their inventor, who was just zipped past you, but that's a different thing entirely.
No, they're just Dvergar, don't worry about it.
Alright, so the descent of these Orpheus paratroopers comes in a whirlwind of chaos, and they begin to open fire on the orange traces of their automatic gunfire, painting streaks of death across the night sky.
Give me all another, yet another, Sleight roll.
Everyone is being targeted.
Terry, you can add a weal, so one by six, and the same for you, Bill, because you are both moving at speed.
Everyone else is a normal straight roll.
I've got a total of 20.
13.
Got an 18 plus 2 is 20, and then we'll add a weal as well.
6, so 28.
Oh, 26, nice.
This is the first time this has happened.
Sorry, Annina.
23 for me.
Steve?
5.
Okay.
Come on, Sparkly Boots.
Those of you heroic heroes who rolled a 20 or more are so skillful at driving the skíðverg or else are so used to scurrying away from bursts of machine gunfire that you take no damage.
You can imagine the bullets plunging into the snow around you.
CJ, Giggi takes a burst of bullets to his midriff and takes 5 damage, and Eir, you take a more pronounced 9 damage as machine guns rattle off rounds punctuating the night with these intense bursts.
Where'd that come from?
Above, around your impregnable vision.
No, sorry, that was rhetorical.
You weren't challenging the idea.
No, I wasn't challenging it, it's just he has no idea where it came from.
You may take a faster on the slow turn.
We're still moving. Those of us who didn't crash are still in motion on our skíðverg.
You have a gyred and gimballed across the snow. I don't know why I'm quoting the Jabberwocky, but it seemed to be appropriate as you fly around, creating a wide arc to return should you wish to, or else you can roar off into the night.
Which one fits our milieu?
Going off a cliff, I see. So those who failed spectacularly are off their vehicles and standing gormlessly in the snow?
What I'd like to do is swerve my skíðverg to face the enemy and let off a harpoon from my harpoon cannon at one of them. Hopefully, providing I'm barreled through and then do a 180 degree turn and fire off the harpoon at one of the orcneas
So I'm going to allow you to do that without a roll since you are such a masterful driver and you did invent these devices. You do need to give me a roll to hit though. Not a roll to steer and aim, but a roll to hit.
That's a cannon, not a gun, so my gun fork or my guns.
It's still Sleight though that you're rolling on the side of your skill.
Still Sleight.
Okay, so I've got no, it's a shame I've got no bonus on that. So it didn't quite turn out as I expected.
Because I rolled a one.
That's pretty much what we expected.
Megan fjord says as your harpoon cannon flies off into the darkness and vanishes from sight, he simply says, and I thought I was the Mighty Fart.
Are these creatures armored, Ian? Can I see armor on them?
They might be lightly armored, but nothing extensive. They are, after all, dropping from the sky on silken blossoms.
Being the parachutes.
Okay, I'm going to use Mocking Taunts.
Gigi's going to yell.
Are those out of orcneas?
Quick, someone throw the leftovers from last night's dinner.
And then he's going to aim the machine gun and just fire off a big burst.
Nice.
Okay, you do not need to roll to hit. They have to roll to dodge like you did, but you can roll your damage.
Oh, and I can have all my bonuses too.
You can hit three of them who are standing shoulder to shoulder, aiming your gun to ratatat them down, roll your damage.
They are haunts, so that gives you an extra bonus to your dice.
If you're using a level two spell.
Okay.
18 points of damage.
Nice.
Okay, the symphony of bullets flies from your storm shooter and riddles the adversaries.
They are all clearly badly wounded by the blast, but none of them more to this.
They stagger and shudder, but then each of their bloated black and blue bodies rides into action again, and they point their own storm shooters back in your direction.
So I am no longer on my vehicle.
So can I reach them with my gun?
You can. You carry a battle rifle.
Yes, battle rifle on the side.
Let's go.
Nice.
Ooh.
The higher of the two weals makes it a 17 altogether.
Okay, so roll for your damage, and then you can take your second attack.
So I roll 3d6.
Are you targeting the same ones as Gigi shot?
Whatever is closest to where I am.
That would be the closest because you all piled in together, and you may well be able to summarily execute them with these shots.
Hopefully we can pick some of these off. So yes, 7.
Okay, so damage and roll the second attack.
17 again.
Ow.
Man, this dice can stay.
Nine points of damage.
You fire in quick succession two rounds.
Both penetrate deeply into the devil corpses that stand there and they fall lifeless to the ground.
Steve?
Right, just a quick check of the situation. So there's like 10-ish of them and most of them, two or three of them are down. Is that accurate?
Two of them are down. There looked to be 10 to Ljomi. It turns out that yet more are dropping from the sky. Perhaps there are 15, 16 total with two collapsed.
I would like to start with my new spell, Great Wrath, against one of them that is armed and yet uninjured.
I make a wits attack roll against its will and because of Deep Minded I get an extra wheel.
And if this works, one of them is going to join our side temporarily.
I kind of wish I had a camera right now because you have to take my word for it that that's a 20-year-old. So plus the...
It's alright, Steve. We believe in dark elves. It's not like you're...
We're not prejudiced except to get your character.
So it adds up to 28.
You rolled very high. So it is now one of the nearest creatures in front of you, a beetling monstrosity with bulbous eyes, becomes filled with hatred for one creature or object you choose within medium range, which is presumably the person next to it.
It's friend next to it, yeah, ideally.
He turns his comrade to his right and instantly blasts away, whilst howling obscenities, mowing down his former companion into bloody pulp.
OK, and I'd like that to be the trigger for my second spell, which would be Wounding Wand. And that's 16 plus... that's 22. And it takes six points of damage and any creature friendly to it has the potential to become frightened.
That can see it.
So your Gand spell hits another one of the creatures. It looks shocked as the sparks radiate off it.
The creatures are, though, resistant to the fearful aspect and they continue to march forward with their storm shooters drawn.
Bill?
Yes, what I'm hoping to do is stop my skíðverg and in a position where I can cast Weapon Song on Alma.
What's the range of Weapon Song?
Within short range.
So you're going to have to spend the go turning round, pirouetting round to slide next to Alma, all the time singing, serenading her whilst banging your vette, banging your shamanic drum. And, you know, I'm sure that everyone appreciates the melody.
It's a woody sort of song.
Okay, that's what I'm going to do.
Very good. You hove into view alongside Alma, almost dazzling her in the headlights. You are then met with a rapid staccato of bullets, a symphony of macabre bullets spray indiscriminately around you.
There are a considerable amount of these hideous devil corpses and Bill, you take 29 damage as the bullets riddle your bark and fling you from your seat with your song, threatening to go silent.
Well, I have 21 health, so how does that count?
That means that you have moved, I'm afraid, into the realms of instant death.
Briefly triggering a flashback as I sink from life.
For the time being, you are just splinters and wood pulp flying into the air and the remnants of your form slump onto the skete bed that continues slowly along its way towards the darkness.
Well, this just got serious.
Pretty damn.
I should point out that the two creatures that you have just felled and killed, now stand up, lurch back onto their haunches and lumber up their guns ready to fire. The Orcneas are not so easily slain.
Yeah, a bit of a bummer.
It's getting complicated.
Fast turns or slow turns?
Can I ask questions about the rules?
Bit late for that now, Terry.
How long does a round last?
10 seconds, I think.
Oh, okay, that's not bad.
Okay.
Let me look that up and say so more authoritatively.
Okay.
You always say things authoritatively.
Yeah, you sounded very convincing when you said that.
Sometimes they're correct.
That's the entire basis of my career.
Mine too.
Because what I want to do is runes.
How long do runes take to cast?
One rune.
Any of your spells can be cast as an action in that rune.
I want to cast a Wave Runes
Gives us a bit of protection.
That will create a moveable barrier.
Great idea.
A bit late.
Yeah, but I was out in front of everyone.
Doing fancy moves on your own.
And Terry, I am going to let you do that, but you have to spend a round coming back
because you were one round ahead.
You had propelled yourself at some speed.
So you can pivot, you can turn, you can return, and next round I will enable you to cast Wave Runes
and create some kind of runic barrier to protect your confidence.
Okay, yeah, I should, because I pivoted in the last round, I should be in the right direction.
So all I should be doing is spurring my skíðverg, spurring it and getting it into range
where I can cover everyone in that three-yard or three-meter radius where I can cast that Wave Runes.
Megan Fjords response to that is, I suppose you want me to go faster, do you?
Yeah, get on with it.
The remaining trio who are kind of back-to-back surrounded by the Orcneas foe, what do you want to do?
Gigi is holding one of the Dverg in front of himself, the Dverg shield,
and then take another fast action and just spray some more lead.
Give me a roll
Feel free to do so contemporaneously, and same with Eir, give me your best shots.
Does that get the benefit of the song I was in the middle of singing, the extra 1d6?
Your song became an elegy.
You know, it's still annoying even when you're so eloquent.
I just want to make that clear.
19 damage.
That a boy.
Well, they're hot, so I get even more extra bonuses. It's nice.
He's yelling, eat this, you bastards.
Well, it's spew from your storm shooter scattering your wrath all around the Orcneas in front of you,
standing in the headlights.
You can see them stagger back into the darkness outside of the bright beams.
Annina?
So, I rolled 7 plus a 3, so 10.
Don't think that's going to hit anything.
You blast this time. You shoot wide, your battle rifle blasting the darkness.
Another roll?
So you can make a different attack against a different target.
7. She sneezed while she was trying to shoot.
That's exactly what they teach at the Ironwoodite Military Academy.
Maybe she should tell the Orcneas about his silver medal.
It's coming. It's coming.
Steve, where you going?
I would like to choose three baddies within medium range who are holding weapons
and use a spell to command them to ideally drop their weapons.
Do you have to make a slight roll with 2 plus 3 woes or drop their weapons?
That new body's doing you wonder, Steve.
Thank you. And it's sparkly.
Okay, three of the creatures, thick-set and burly with gorilla-like arms,
drop their weapons into the snow, and each of the frozen colossi
now are forced to rend at you with their claws.
First of all, there is another bullet of bullets with a powerful roar.
Various machine guns. Fire. CJ, make a roll for me.
A Sleight roll. You can add two weals for cover.
And I'm also wearing a bulletproof vest. Does that help?
That will reduce your damage by half as it comes in.
That's good. 17.
17 is enough to take half damage from a variety of machine guns that come your way.
Okay, so 21 damage total. You take half of that rounded down.
Eir, the creatures that you, using your Seidr spells on, no longer have guns, but they leap at you,
veiny, skinnery, and rotting, pummeling at you.
Is one of them attacking? One of the other ones is attacking his friends, right?
Sure, but there's a swarm of these things. There's 16 of them.
It's on the list of problems. And you take 19 damage.
That's a large number.
19, huh? 19 plus 9 is a lot.
Too much, one might say.
What was your health?
My health is 21, and I've taken a total of 28 so far.
Then give me a fate roll.
Die six.
Four.
Four. On the fate roll, you lapse into unconsciousness.
I'm okay with that.
You are going to be unconscious for the next die six minutes. Let's just call that a roll.
For the next five minutes, you are unconscious as the fetid feet of the Orcneas troop trample around you,
the guns pointed at the two stalwart survivors who stand cropping up their skíðverg
And that's alliteration.
Even for us, this battle is going quite poorly.
At this point, seeing Eir falling on the ground and Gigi has his nervous tick.
A grenade rolls itself underneath Alma's feet.
Oh no.
Uh, cannot duck and cover.
I like the air cords there.
You don't want it.
A large electromagnetic pulse erupts from the grenade and all of the skíðverg go silent.
Just as enough of a blast radius from the EMP pulse that Terry Villiblom and Megan Fjart also come to an abrupt halt.
Give me a Sleight roll, please.
Sleight. You can say that again, Terry.
I rolled a 17.
That's good. So you managed to deal with the rather abrupt halt to your engine and slide the skíðverg
Now it's prattling ceased, and you stand next to the two of your fellows here,
your visor clearly spotting at least 15 of these creatures emerging unscathed from the gloom.
Well, at least my Skíðverg have shut up. There's one benefit.
Silver lining and all that.
Three of you are alive and conscious. Do you want to take fast turns or slow turns?
I want to cast my waves rune with the three. Is it still three who are up and running?
Are they within a three meter radius of me?
Three yard radius they are indeed. So you could carve your protective runes along the circumference of Megan Fiat,
your powered down Skíðverg, and then any number of creatures that you choose,
including the unconscious air you could designate as able to freely move and make attacks through the barrier.
No other creature would be able to attack you for the next minute.
Yep, that's what I'm going to do.
And so I quickly carved my rune around the circumference of Megan Fjart and shout the names, I suppose, of the people,
or the beings, should I say, who will be able to move freely and make attacks within it.
OK, you are temporarily protected. You have one minute to make the best use of it.
Ten rounds. I'll mark them off after the next round.
I say we are protected. Kill those within the barrier.
I'll take a fast turn. That's allowable.
I think fast on everything is a really good choice at this point.
Said the voice of a dead person in your head.
Feel your aura.
OK, which of us closest is getting aimed at right now?
Ooh, 25.
Very good. That will enable you to take an extra attack as well. So make two more attacks and blast away.
Fantastic.
Gigi, feel free to augment the ballet of rapid fire in the background.
I'm laughing.
Six points of damage for the first one.
That one is only an 11. I doubt that hits.
Nine for the last one.
One out of three hit.
One out of three aimed at.
So I was thinking of taking a slow turn and using...
I'm just going to throw this by you first to see if it works.
If I take a slow turn, does that mean I can use analgesics on air and get them back up and fighting?
And then also shoot off one bullet or two or however many I can?
No, you can move closer to air and use analgesics, but you can't fire at the same time.
Analgesics is an action.
But he won the silver medal, Ian.
Yeah.
I'm just that I'm weighing in my head. Should I just keep firing off more damage or get air back up and running since he can get them to fight each other?
I'm going to use analgesics on Eir and burn up my turn doing that so that he can keep casting whatever odd spells he's got going on.
Because Gigi is realizing it doesn't matter how much lead I pump these things full of, they're still getting up and they're still fighting.
Oh, that's a good point.
So we need to... it's just an exercise in futility.
So he goes and gets air back up and says, use your spells, sir.
Good ones.
You beautiful bastard.
What rank of spell are you casting?
I'll be back.
For analgesics?
Two.
You've lost your Terminator.
Yeah. Nice work, CJ. You scared off the guest.
He goes, I'll be back.
Was it something I said?
Probably.
If you're using a rank one spell, he gets one dice six. If you use a rank three spell, he gets two dice six.
I'm going to do two.
We're bringing him back to life.
Back to life, you beautiful thing.
I got six, but also one.
Once I'm dead, the real feelings start coming out.
Who?
You leap to the aid of the fallen dökkálfar and bring him into a semblance of consciousness.
Is that seven points counted from where air was or from his maximum?
Because he was beyond maximum.
There's no negative numbers on this.
So you went to zero and so now you are on plus.
Plus three points.
So I'm at 14.
Yeah, 14 damage.
Okay.
We have a problem.
We have a because in order for analgesics to work, the creature that I touched must have one or more honor.
See, now CJ, here's a point of order. When this sort of thing happens and the GM has not picked up on it, you don't go and highlight it for him.
I think honesty and integrity are a key part of the Varangian code. And so, yes, while you might try and use God's given powers to heal your fallen friend, because he's such a shitbag, it doesn't work.
But wouldn't Jeezy have known that too? So couldn't I swap it out for Song of Praise and do a 1d6?
Sure.
Yay.
There you go. That's how you deal with the GM. Just don't listen for a minute or two.
While I coach our young friend into lying.
No, it's more in-court procedures.
Instead of seven points, you only get two.
Two?
I'm very sorry.
I mean, you're alive.
Yeah, I'm smoking.
Sounds like quite a lot from where I'm lying in splinters.
And as we know, CJ is forever linked to the number two.
I don't know why. It's such a cheap joke. I don't know why you guys seem to make me laugh.
Even for us.
That was below the level.
I should have my Noxious Smell ability.
I think he kind of does, you know?
He didn't get to change.
Lying in the snow, probably what attracted the Orcneas Paratroopers.
Anyway, those said Orcneas Paratroopers, recognizing that spellcraft has been deployed in the rooms that crackle to life and protect you, they all begin to retreat into the darkness.
Bummer.
Take that.
And another thing.
Chase after them.
So did you say chase after them?
Shoot.
Shooter.
Look behind you.
The challenge is for you is that they have gone beyond medium range and so while you're sightless enables you perfect clarity in the immediate environments doesn't work in the black depths of the icy tundra in the middle of the polar night.
Will I be using awareness?
No, when you when you make your rolls to attack, you're going to do so with two woes because they're heavily obscured.
Oh, okay.
Right.
I see.
Okay.
Yeah.
So I rolled me d20.
Oh, great.
I think you mean Terry.
Oh, wow.
Well, I rolled a one.
No, no.
Well, I said the total should I say is one.
So I rolled a seven.
And then one of my woes was a six.
And that's a total of one.
I spray a few bullets after him but I can't really see what I'm doing.
It's basically just a yeah, bog off you lot.
The night is dark and full of terrors.
Could we get the bag of moving again and perhaps return to Hjálpmakaar for reinforcements to warn them of what's coming?
Can I get any more shots in before they're outside?
Maybe we should get you me up.
I'm just saying.
Oh, yes.
Or start a fire, you know, anything that can be done.
Someone help me.
I know.
Despite his horrible attitude, air still feels some misguided affection.
What were you thinking?
Just reporting him.
It's not a bad choice.
I mean, kind of pretty much some fertilizer.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Gigi fertilizer.
Can you help us out here?
Too late.
Oh, days ago.
Are any of them still in my rifle range?
Yes, you can shoot up to long range.
So while they are retreating, you can try and pick some off.
I will try that.
And you do have a scope.
I do.
Yeah, I get extreme range.
Nice.
21.
Well, two more times for your attacks.
You're effectively cowered down behind the defunct skíðverg,
taking pot shots at long range to try and pick off any stragglers
at the very edge of your night vision.
Less to deal with later.
Ten points of damage for the first shot.
Surely a great warrior and shot would not be cowered, but would maybe be
hunkered down to aid her aim.
I stand corrected, Terry, by your superior use of the English language.
The next one's 14.
Take him to task.
OK.
These are significant shots that fly straight and true
and impact with velocity on the necrotic flesh,
splattering the tundra with gore.
The one that Eir...
What's the word?
...is running after his comrades, howling like a banshee,
trying to rip them apart from his claws.
Wonderful.
That's what you like to see.
Yeah.
The second shot, fabric wise, was...
50? 40.
The third Orcneas is killed somewhere in the darkness
and lands with a thud.
I rolled another 20.
I rolled 26.
Ow.
Do I get a fourth shot?
It must have gone through three of them, like one shot.
Yeah.
You see what I'm doing there, CJ?
Yeah.
I'm bargaining up.
Yeah.
Not working, but that's what I'm doing.
I like it.
That is 16 points of damage.
It's impressive.
Somewhere out there is a fallen foe scrabbling across the tundra.
I'm guessing I don't get a fourth shot.
Yeah.
Worth a try.
You've been learning from the Bill's school of roleplaying, haven't you?
I mean...
We have a rule.
Only one of us gets to harangue the DM once per session.
Should we start doing that rule?
Nah.
CJ, did you have anything you wanted to do?
Again, this ring of Orcneas has receded.
They've clearly taken positions away from your runic defense.
But you do get the sense, Alma, with your keen senses.
You can smell the rotting corpses.
They are all out there somewhere.
And you realize that not only are you outgunned, you are also outranged.
So we're still in combat?
They've retreated, but they're not...
And all the Dverg are out of commission?
We can't ride them away?
The Dverg have been hit by an EMP and have been disrupted for a significant period of time.
They can be repowered, but it's going to require some effort to do so.
The same with your drone, I should say.
The drone is also plunked to the ground, hit by the magnetic barrage.
He plumbs over and scoops it up.
Oh, look after!
Do we have a flare gun?
We have flare guns?
Do we have a flare gun? Something to hurl the flares high in the air to alert...
You know, because it's dark, and so we could alert a settlement nearby that we're in trouble.
Have all of the enemies that fell got back up?
I thought you said that some of them got back up. Did they all get back up?
As best you can tell, all of the creatures in some length of time, some immediately, some after a few minutes, they stand up and move off into the darkness.
So a physical attack, a magic attack, makes no difference?
Well, we could try beheading them and seeing whether that kills them.
So anything down, maybe some of you can behead it.
My plan was to cast Gun Hawk at the next available time, because that lasts for four hours, and then make the suggestion that perhaps we behead any fallen foes.
And in the meantime, while you're doing that and anything else that you want to do, like hunting for flares and whatever, I'll get working on the skíðverg to get them operational again.
Eir, we'll take a moment to meditate, like one action, meditate, get back some health and get back a spell, and then we'll... I don't know.
Are we surrounded? Like, is it... are they all on one side?
It sounds like we're surrounded.
They retreated, but they've not gone. They're just of range.
So are they in one direction, or are we completely surrounded, like they're in a ring around us?
That's what I understood.
Aren't they half-circled? That's what I thought.
Is it a half-circle or a full circle?
Impossible for you to tell in the darkness, but you would surmise as militaristic types acquainted with warfare, that elite troops like these would find high ground, or if they couldn't find high ground, they would attempt to encircle you.
That being a classic military tactic.
So we need to break through part of the circle.
They're waiting for us, just out of...
Does our protective thing move with us?
No, no, it stays with my skid skirt, and it only lasts a minute, so they're likely to regroup and attack.
This is fine.
So that's why I cast Gun Hawk immediately, and now I am, as quickly as I can, working individually on each of the skid skirts to get them back up.
So we're still technically in combat.
Can I cast Analgesics on myself to recover some hit points?
I just want to get my health up because I'm going to do something silly.
For the record, I have a lot of healing spells.
You're dead.
You know what you will.
So the seconds tick away as Villibondlom begins to tinker with his skíðverg to try and get it operational. The rest of you keep a close eye, a close ear out for any signs of the Orcneas paratroopers.
Then slowly you start to hear the rattle of fire and bullets from the plink, plink, and then crash into the speed burn.
I'm going to ask you, all, to make another Sleight roll.
I refuse to.
That's to fight the power.
There are at least 15 submachine guns.
You are caught in a hail of chaos, a crossfire of death.
Can I take the, as soon as we hear the plink plinks, can we take cover?
Can I become invisible and take cover? Heroically?
Can I duck and cover? Is that a trigger action?
I think ducking under CJ and covering under his cloak is bad.
So we're doing a Sleight roll.
You're doing a Sleight roll.
I'm after 17 and I'm holding up with dvergr and I have my bulletproof jacket.
Terry, what did you roll?
Well, I attempted to duck under my skíðverg, but unfortunately as I was diving forwards, I banged my head on the side and ended up draped across it and rolled a three.
That's wonderful. Terry, you take 45 damage.
Oh no.
CJ, you made your roll, so your is going to be 23 damage.
Annina, did you make your roll?
I did. I was hoping to use ducking cover, the thingy I have.
But I rolled a five.
Oh my word.
45 damage for you and...
Wait, so was mine halved?
Yours was halved. I gave you 21, my heart rate was 22.
CJ, what did you roll?
Well, so Eir dove to the ground and tried to take cover, but then accidentally stood up and held up a giant sign that said, shoot me now.
Negative one.
Okay, you can take 67 damage.
Oh my god.
CJ, what did you do?
So I rolled a 17 so that I succeeded in the save, plus I have my thing that cuts it in half, but I only got cut in half in the total.
You can cut it in half once.
I'm dead.
To sum it up.
Gigi's getting hit with the bullets. And then of course, it's one last time.
To Valhalla!
I hope so.
Wow.
Okay, well, this has it's been a bit different tonight.
I only wish I could have been in better, prettier clothes than this when I died.
Yes. Your, does your mother never teach you to change your underpants just in case of this kind of eventuality?
She tried.
What will the ambulance people do?
For a brief moment, as your lines end away and you feel the tundra's cold embrace, you wonder about what the path to Valhalla, the stairway to Valhalla, might be like.
But then across the trails, Hjálpmakaar sparkles with an electric halo. The warm lights of the brightly colored wooden houses offer solace from the biting cold and invite you in for safety, rest and the warmth of the dwellings of men.
Slipping back into town, you realize you're about to see the last slither of Sol for many months, and you turn to watch as the serpentine fjords and vast ice sheets bathe briefly in strange blue half-light.
And then, nothing, an inky blackness descends like a funeral shroud.
Welcome to the Polar Night.
Ghastly, isn't it?
It was all a dream.
I feel like I've been here before.
At least once.
I knew you were going to say that.
Is Ljomi here?
All of you are standing upright on the edge of Hjálpmakaar, looking down on the town and its electric halo exactly the same moment as before you went to see Bangsi
Let's just review what worked well tonight.
Okay, good. We're done.
Perfect.
Now you all listen here. If we get a second chance at this, I'm going to go buy clothes first and have my bath.
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