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Welcome to Vikings and Valkyries, an actual play podcast for When the Wolf Comes, a role-playing

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game set in a parallel timeline where the Norse rule the seas and stars with restless

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fleets.

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My name is Ian Stuart Sharpe and I will be your Games Master for the campaign ahead,

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the Thought and Memory saga. Joining me to face their fate are an intrepid band of Kith

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and Kin, Ed, Jay, Steve and Bill. Mark their names well as they may be the last ones you

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are able to pronounce.

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Welcome not-so-gentleman to the podcast.

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Thank you.

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Thank you.

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Thank you very much.

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Now, I'm correcting that you've all rolled dice before together. Tell us a little bit

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about your pedigree. Perhaps we'll start with you, Bill. You're the old, wise and distinguished

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member of the group.

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Yeah, well, all of those are true, I believe. Yeah, long-time role-playing game enthusiast

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since my teens, which is decades ago. Early versions of Advanced Dungeons and Dragons,

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Traveler and everything in between regularly beat everyone on this call in various board

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games. Just a huge, huge winning thing. And I just love getting my RPG on and getting

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my board game on. I think that's a reasonable summary.

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Very good. Well, who else would like to contest Bill's clearly fabricated version of events?

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I'll go next, unless we're on a fight for it. No, my name's Steve. I've gamed for nearly

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as long as Bill, because frankly, that's impossible. I've regularly beat him at board games despite

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his lies. I've been playing every edition of Dungeons and Dragons so far, very poorly

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at all of them, and looking forward to doing very poorly at another one.

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Very good. And Ed?

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I'm Ed. I am pretty new to the D&D scene. I started about six years ago with early edition

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of D&D, and caught up and started doing the new edition. My expertise comes, I did improv

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for a long time, did that through high school and some of my early adult life. So I'm hoping

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to bring that angle to the whole situation here.

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Very good. And then last but not least, Jay, some form of direct lineage from the Elder

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Hopkins.

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Yes, I was born from his seed. It's a bit embarrassing. But you know what, it's the

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truth. So ever since I was born, I was ripping board games, I was winning quick, never looked

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back. But I'm into the D&D scene now because my plans of being an actor didn't work yet.

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A famous actor.

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So this could be the launch pad for something amazing?

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Well, this is it. I think, yeah, it's like I get my acting practice. I just lie to people

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and then I just do this.

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The problem is the Vikings TV series is pretty much finished and gone on hiatus, I'm afraid.

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So you know, that's a lot.

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Well, we're gonna pick up where they left off.

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Yeah.

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All right. Well, with that in mind, without further ado, let's launch what we're calling

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the V&V podcast, hoping that the lawyers at Wizards Off the Coast appreciate my enunciation.

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We are playing a game called When the Wolf Comes, as I said, now I've had a little bit

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of a hand in this myself. It's set in the Viking verse, which is something that I have

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fashioned myself around some novels, comics, and now the RPG. And the setting for this

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campaign, the Thought and Memory campaign, is the far-flung remote outposts of Empire,

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the land of Heimslit, which means the world's edge in Old Norse. And we will throughout

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this podcast confuse everyone now and then by sprinkling in some Old Norse just to make

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it a little bit more authentic and to force people to spit all over their screens and

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into their microphone. But your characters are all assembled in the town of Hjálpmakaar.

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Hjálpmakaar. means literally in Old Norse it means help each other. And it's both the name of

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a town and the kind of general advice to people who live in the middle of nowhere. Now, before

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I dive in and give you a deeper description of the town, perhaps we can introduce each

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of the characters and why they find themselves in the frozen North. And perhaps we just follow

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the same order in which we went through the personal introductions and start with Bill.

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Who are you playing today? I'm playing Ljolmi. I am an álfar, which is a spirit encased in

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a tree's body, an offshoot of the great world tree. My friends describe me as aloof, honest

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and dependable as they should. I grew up worshiped by wanes in the sacred grove. And of course,

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they worship me. Woods, I feel, are at the core of everything. I detest a tyrant. I love

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peace on the war. Very nice. Now, the world of the Viking verse and Norse mythology in

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general, the álfar are attested to as kind of these spirits of light that are often seen

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dancing on the wind. But you have been given bodily form as a kind of a venging angel,

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so to speak, caused by the cataclysmic death of Yggdrasil in a huge stellar explosion.

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And your people have been birthed in this tree-like form. How is that going for you?

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You're kind of an old spirit sucked into this new body.

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Well, there are debts to be settled. I live to serve. I listen to the other alfar. They

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are the wisest of all beings, of course. But there is much work to be done. There is a

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lot to correct. There is a lot of wrongs to right. So many things have been afflicted

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upon the natural world that must be corrected.

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And can you remember anything of your former life, because you were this ancestral spirit

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who's been forced to come back to the world to attend to the wounds of the world's tree?

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I served faithfully, Sigurd Hring, and I fell in the eighth century over a thousand years

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ago.

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Which is about the same time that you first started playing D&D.

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A fortunate coincidence. Thank you so much for bringing it up.

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You're welcome. Now, Steve, you're your own form of caged spirit, but instead of the light

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elf, the Ljósálfar, you're playing a dark elf, or at least the Norse version of that.

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Once upon a time, long, long ago, I fought the armies of the Tartars and died. Well,

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up until I took an arrow to the knee and then a sword to the head and had Kalka. And I want

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to say again, Mistislav is still an idiot. He ran the battle run. And it doesn't matter,

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though. After the afterlife I went, I don't remember a lot of it. I remember it was a

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good time until I was plucked, yanked out of the afterlife and crammed into this artificial

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construct, this prison against my will. Although credit where it's due, it is a magnificent

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prison. It is a, in the shape of a perfect male specimen, made of the most, made out

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of perfect flawless black stone, etched with gold and silver. As prisons go, it'll do for

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now, at least until I'm able to escape this prison and return to the afterlife, which

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I'm told is impossible, but I don't believe that. I hear this buzzing. I'm not some anyways,

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that's my story. That's all they're getting for now.

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Very good. Now the buzzing, is that something on your microphone or is that just the kind

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of rattling of ancestral spirits driving you insane?

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It's the rattling of a particularly irritating ancestral spirit. He's centuries older than

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me.

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He's referring to many, many centuries older.

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What an abomination in the natural order he actually is.

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Good. Well, glad we've got the right side and the left side of the Elven races represented.

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I'm the right side. You're a tree.

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And Ed, how do you join this merry throng?

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I am the dverbr Legsko. And I am an old model, simply a year old, reborn by some enthusiasts

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who just wanted to make the best recreational model they possibly could.

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In this universe, the Dvergr are the dwarves of this world, the original Norse word Dvergr

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They were never particularly short. They were these kind of demons of death, born of the

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land and the soil. They were spirits of rock. But that's not to say they weren't sly and

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furtive and slightly rambunctious. And you presumably have all of those qualities to

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boot.

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My creators I ran away from, I was able to find my way away from the wilderness after

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barely purchasing my freedom. And I was able to do that. My body is very particular. I

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have a very small, low, rigid platform, deep-bred size, and I'm on tracks. I'm on tracks like

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a tank. And basically where my mouth is, I basically look like a car from Cars.

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Are you still under warranty, Ed? As you know, the dvergr have limited lifespans and often

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returned to the stores in which they were bought because they are well known for being

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temperamental, irascible, and faulty.

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Well, I'm definitely of the mindset that I need to maybe find someone to maybe extend

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that warranty. We'll see. I'm enjoying life. I want to enjoy life, and I want to enjoy

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life as long as possible.

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Very good. Now, when I came up with the idea for the dvergr and drew them from the pages

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of myth, it was very much with Roy Batty from Blade Runner in mind. So your limited battery

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life is reducing all of the time. So keep an eye on that. And in the meantime, let's

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talk to Jay and hear all about his horse gelding.

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Yeah, so I'm whole leaf. I, you know, I'm reasonably tall. I'm like six, five, medium

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height. Actually now five, ten, five, nine, be honest, five, nine.

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Six five in heels.

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Yeah, six five when I got my hair on right. And I have glasses and I'm a funky looking

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guy. I'm a hearty looking guy. Like I could, I could climb something.

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And you're the only human.

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Yeah, I'm a human, which is great. I'm the only normal. I was, you know, in the military.

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It was not pretty. And now I had no choice. I'm a criminal. So it is what it is. It's

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one of those things.

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And how did you get the nickname of being a horse gelder?

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So they thought so it was my 18th birthday. My mom rode into town with a bunch of horse

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and she said, we're going to eat this one tonight. And I said, I'm not sure I should

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have asked.

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And I said, I look, I ain't going to eat it, but I will try pieces, portions, bite size,

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three bite sized. And so and that's where we discovered that if you chop the testicles

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off of the horse, they still perform well. But you can stand you can get a little tasty

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kind of chicken nugget.

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Very good. Now there was actually in ancient Norse times in the in the Viking era, something

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called the cult of the Volsi, which was actually the cult of the horse penis. They were all

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kinds of phallic rituals. And there was lots of sex. Sex magic is a big Viking thing. So

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I'm glad you've embraced that in the aftermath of your war torn psychosis.

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Thank you.

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All right. Now, we will take this rather odd bunch and we will we will transport you all,

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like I said, to Heimslit, the end of the world, the northernmost inhabited remnant of empire

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in this frozen town. The four of you for some reason, you are here in Hjálpmakaar. and you find

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yourself standing outside the sick house, which is the town's hospital. Perhaps you're

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trying to shelter from the intense cold. Perhaps you've been chased there by a band of yipping

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huskies that drive the sleds across the snow. Perhaps you've just wandered there because

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it was the brightest neon sign that was flickering in the perpetual sun. But you find yourself,

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all four of you in front of the sick house when a wheeled verve, wrestling with medical

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diagnostics and displays calls out to you.

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Hello meatbags. Hail, OK Seil. I have a job for you. Would you care to enter and hear

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more? I will not take no for an answer for fate has brought you to my door.

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Ah, fate. Good.

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Brother, Hail, Ok Seil.

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Who's this guy?

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This guy is a diver. He's a, it looks like a diagnostic bot, a kind of medical doctor.

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He's rolling around on some rather impressive tires that are kind of all weather terrain.

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They enabled him to cope with the snow and ice.

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So you got a warm spot in there somewhere.

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And I do, meatbag. Please do come in and rest your joints.

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Fine clockwork.

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I can lubricate and probe and see what ails you.

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Do me.

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This guy is, this guy gets it.

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Would you mind?

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By all means, meatbag.

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Say ah.

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I roll up to get a closer look.

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The diver has got all kinds of instruments. He's kind of bristling with them. Things pop

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out and emerge and you find yourself with antenna like things popping from his fingers.

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And he also connects across to you, Ed, the Legkso. He also says to you, please say ah.

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Ah.

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Hmm. How curious. You have a rune on your tongue. Or should I say tasting implement.

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Can you read it to me?

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I can do better than that. I can take a photograph and reveal it to you here. And he snaps something

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and then he hands it up. There is a rune. It is the rune for os, the god rune emblazoned

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on your tongue.

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While he's doing that, he's holding the other tongue and kind of got it between two pincers.

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He's got Halif's tongue. So Halif, you're unable to talk effectively for the next couple

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of minutes while this pincer has literally got your tongue.

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Attention clockwork. Do you know the Winterwise? I seek to speak with them. They must hear

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me. I seek to speak with them. Do you know them?

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I am aware of the Winterwise, of course.

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Take me there.

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I do not believe that that is appropriate. I have asked for your assistance in my own

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dilemma. I have an escaped meat bag who is on death's door. And as you know, the death

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law will not permit any meat bag to expire within the town's environs. I will happily

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pay one crown and write a letter of recommendation to the Winterwise. Were you able to assist

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in taking the meat bag to the Attastoop and hurling him to his demise?

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I will do this thing. I do not speak for these others. But this is an insufficient offer,

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but I will accept it anyway.

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And the rest of you meat bags? Are you happy to facilitate my request?

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We find a meat bag and throw them to their death.

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That is correct. The town's death law requires that no one die within the town's environs

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in order that we do not attract the Ísbjörn. The sacred ísbjörn must not eat the people

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within the town lest they are encouraged to do so and mayhem ensues.

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Let's get this going.

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I would see an Ísbjörn. I have heard they are marvellous creatures. What says the Mayfly?

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That short ruddy one with the red cheeks.

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Who is a criminal?

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With his tongue in a vine?

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Yes.

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I would like to hear what he says. Perhaps it is more like...

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Does somebody have cut his brain off with my tongue?

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I believe he said yes.

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My apologies. I will release your tasting appendage.

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Can you get the other one out too?

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Oh, my apologies. I will remove my anal probes.

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No wonder you said he had red cheeks.

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I am feeling rather relaxed right now.

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So, are you telling me that we have to get a bag of meat?

213
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Are you telling me we are getting a bag of meat?

214
00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:18,080
The patient, Bjarnie Bjarnason, has indicated a 93% chance of expiry within the next 48

215
00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:24,440
hours. He must be escorted to the Attestoop where he may perform the ritual, cleansing

216
00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:25,960
and jump to his demise.

217
00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:29,680
Alright, so y'all want to do it?

218
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:33,240
Does he have to jump and we push?

219
00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:38,920
You may speed his egress in whichever way you see appropriate.

220
00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:41,360
It might be funny. I'm in.

221
00:21:41,360 --> 00:21:42,360
Yeah.

222
00:21:42,360 --> 00:21:46,160
Which direction? Which direction clockwork thing?

223
00:21:46,160 --> 00:21:48,680
Down, right, if he has to fall?

224
00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:49,840
I presume.

225
00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:51,800
Which direction do we walk in?

226
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:59,600
I see I am the only one who will be approaching the Winterwise to offer them advice.

227
00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:07,480
My suggestion is this, that you find Bjarnie Bjarnason in his cabin, engage him, avail

228
00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:11,920
him of the opportunity to abide by the death law.

229
00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:18,440
May I also suggest that you purchase something from my Happy Death Day range?

230
00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:23,400
I have cards, balloons and of course streamers.

231
00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:32,320
They may well be useful in facilitating the ready acceptance of the Meat Bag's demise.

232
00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:36,960
I'll buy the cards.

233
00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:40,240
And do you have Imperial Crowns?

234
00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:43,560
I didn't get a balloon when I died.

235
00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:47,760
Can we put a tab on this stuff?

236
00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:48,760
Indeed you may.

237
00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:52,760
Please take your pick of the selection of merchandise and I will deduct it from your

238
00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:53,920
eventual fee.

239
00:22:53,920 --> 00:23:02,520
I will also provide you with a rifle and ammunition, vest you run afoul of the ísbjörn.

240
00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:10,280
Of course it is forbidden to take a life of the isbjorn or endanger or harm it in any way,

241
00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:13,480
but you may well wish to fire a warning shot.

242
00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:15,680
Can I grab that?

243
00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:19,440
Yes, good suggestion.

244
00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:23,880
How expensive is the card or cards?

245
00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:31,160
It is a fluctuating price depending on how well you perform your mission and eliminate

246
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:33,240
any unnecessary disturbance.

247
00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:34,240
I see.

248
00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:37,440
So we'll find.

249
00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:41,640
The Clockwork toy, the other Clockwork toy, can put it on his tab.

250
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:42,640
That's a good idea.

251
00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:45,880
It's sort of a quarter day I would say.

252
00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:49,040
Anything dies so quickly.

253
00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:53,240
I take the cards and I put them into my fourth slot.

254
00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:55,240
Did we all sign the card?

255
00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:56,240
What's the custom?

256
00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:59,240
Whose birthday is it?

257
00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:06,440
It's kind of the opposite, but I mean it feels like we should, you know, what do you write,

258
00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:07,880
like good luck on your trip?

259
00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:11,640
Are these between?

260
00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:14,520
Look before you leap perhaps?

261
00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:18,480
Maybe we like tell him we get him to the point where he's like about to jump, then we make

262
00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:22,240
him read it and it's like turn around and then we push him.

263
00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:30,280
Most ingenious, the Dverg just in case anyone was interested in social niceties or your

264
00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:33,640
basic common decency known as Valtoki.

265
00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:41,600
He hasn't bothered to ask your name, however, and he appears to have very little insight

266
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:48,200
into whether you are organic, non-organic, male or female or what have you.

267
00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:55,640
The Dverg is simply interested in you stopping him dealing with the embarrassment of a dead

268
00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:58,880
patient on his grounds.

269
00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:03,400
Can I level with him, Dverg?

270
00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:04,400
You can certainly try.

271
00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:09,240
Funny enough, you may well both share the level of religion, which is the Dverg religion

272
00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:11,320
that I believe you adhere to.

273
00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:12,600
That is true.

274
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:18,960
So I go up close and I say, listen, buddy, like, what are we really dealing with here?

275
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:24,240
Are we, are you sending these fuckers on a crazy mission or are we good?

276
00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:27,600
Like am I good to go with them?

277
00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:29,920
Does this sound like two modems talking back and forth?

278
00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:30,920
Yeah, I think so.

279
00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:39,320
If they are both speaking double Dverg, which is the language of dwarves, which is so called

280
00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:43,920
because partly it's binary and partly because it sounds like complete nonsense to anyone

281
00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:51,720
else who is trying to listen in, then he does, yes, whine and whistle back at you.

282
00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:54,400
But this is what it would translate to in English.

283
00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:59,040
He says there is no cause for concern.

284
00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:07,240
This is a routine exercise to make sure that a distinguished citizen rests in an appropriate

285
00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:08,880
and lawful manner.

286
00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:10,280
All right.

287
00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:13,120
I got, sorry, go ahead.

288
00:26:13,120 --> 00:26:22,280
I plant a kiss on his Dverg cheek as is traditional for the Dvergs and we might go back to the

289
00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:24,520
crew.

290
00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:34,880
If it is traditional, he is taken aback and he rocks back on his wheels and says to you

291
00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:38,680
that is not an appropriate bedside manner.

292
00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:40,400
I'm a different kind of doctor.

293
00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:46,760
Perhaps your, perhaps your, perhaps your circuitry is crossed.

294
00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:50,960
I suggest you run an internal diagnostic.

295
00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:53,680
I got more than enough going on in the internal, I'll tell you that.

296
00:26:53,680 --> 00:26:54,680
No, no, no.

297
00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:56,080
Listen, I got four pennies.

298
00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:57,080
You take me or I'm back.

299
00:26:57,080 --> 00:27:02,120
You run an internal diagnostic just before I head out.

300
00:27:02,120 --> 00:27:04,200
Four pennies.

301
00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:06,360
Four pennies.

302
00:27:06,360 --> 00:27:07,360
I don't got nothing more.

303
00:27:07,360 --> 00:27:10,600
Unless it's more than that, then we can just leave.

304
00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:14,240
Which of the clockwork toys are you speaking to?

305
00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:18,040
Oh, I'm speaking of Val, sweet honey Val.

306
00:27:18,040 --> 00:27:19,520
Sweet honey Val.

307
00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:25,560
Well, he's agreed to deduct your fee so you don't have to pay him in advance unless you

308
00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:29,160
want, unless you want to take medical services now.

309
00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:31,120
I don't think you've taken any damage just yet.

310
00:27:31,120 --> 00:27:36,920
That anal probe might have been, you know, hot and warm, but it's probably quite healing.

311
00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:37,920
Oh yeah.

312
00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:39,200
Okay, so I'm feeling good already.

313
00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:40,800
I don't, you don't think I need it.

314
00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:43,560
I think that you're full of endorphins.

315
00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:44,560
Thank you.

316
00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:45,560
Thank you.

317
00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:46,560
All right.

318
00:27:46,560 --> 00:27:50,200
Yeah, you've already been probed right up the fjord.

319
00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:51,640
Oh my.

320
00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:55,600
You would save him that one.

321
00:27:55,600 --> 00:28:03,720
Now you're in this scenario now where the four of you have been flung together in what's

322
00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:06,360
effectively a hospital waiting room.

323
00:28:06,360 --> 00:28:09,840
The rest of the sick house is empty.

324
00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:12,200
There's bare beds, six bare beds.

325
00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:13,400
There's not really much to be seen.

326
00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:18,440
There are no other patients, perhaps no other patients would be insane enough to get the

327
00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:20,920
help of Valtoki.

328
00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:27,120
But you now get to look at each other the first time and get the, the measure of the

329
00:28:27,120 --> 00:28:30,320
various men or elves or Dverg.

330
00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:37,640
So you can, you can decide whether you are going to get along or whether you're just

331
00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:43,600
going to amble along, but it is, it is definitely an interesting band.

332
00:28:43,600 --> 00:28:51,760
Whereas most Viking troops would, you know, for example, Jay, from your warrior days,

333
00:28:51,760 --> 00:28:55,180
you would have been full of a band of brothers.

334
00:28:55,180 --> 00:28:59,520
You now really do feel that you are surrounded by this, these misfits.

335
00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:02,640
A bunch of weirdos.

336
00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:06,800
Yeah, that's my life surrounded by weirdos.

337
00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:09,560
How you guys doing?

338
00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:11,160
You guys doing all right?

339
00:29:11,160 --> 00:29:13,080
No offense.

340
00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:20,640
Do you more sensitive creatures need supplies, sustenance, that sort of thing before we depart?

341
00:29:20,640 --> 00:29:22,840
Who you calling sensitive?

342
00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:27,240
I don't need sustenance per se.

343
00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:30,640
Do you need winding?

344
00:29:30,640 --> 00:29:32,640
Winding and dining.

345
00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:34,520
Winding?

346
00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:37,160
I can't help with that, perhaps the, what did he call it?

347
00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:38,160
A meat bag.

348
00:29:38,160 --> 00:29:44,040
I think he's, I think Bill's referring to the fact that he's a, there's a clockwork

349
00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:48,680
mechanism in these, in these old, old contraptions.

350
00:29:48,680 --> 00:29:55,360
There's actually no sign of a key or clockwork, although Steve, I'm sure your character, Eir

351
00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:58,520
has a rather fetching headdress.

352
00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:06,160
Yes, I've, appearance wise, I've decided that his appearance is, it's like his, he's not

353
00:30:06,160 --> 00:30:07,760
close as such.

354
00:30:07,760 --> 00:30:14,080
It's just that this magnificent sculpture that he is has been fashioned so that it looks

355
00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:23,120
like, it looks like almost an unnecessarily ornate version of 14th century armor complete

356
00:30:23,120 --> 00:30:25,680
with helm, except it's part of him.

357
00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:29,960
Has no protective value whatsoever, but I mean, appearances, it's something, it's familiar,

358
00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:30,960
it's comforting.

359
00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:31,960
Yeah.

360
00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:34,800
So, so your big tin can?

361
00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:38,560
More stone than tin, but.

362
00:30:38,560 --> 00:30:39,560
All right.

363
00:30:39,560 --> 00:30:46,960
I, I shall ask my question again, and I will use smaller words this time.

364
00:30:46,960 --> 00:30:53,760
Do you need food and drink before we go out into the world?

365
00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:55,840
That's a good idea, actually.

366
00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:57,080
Yeah, that is a very good idea.

367
00:30:57,080 --> 00:30:58,080
I have bread.

368
00:30:58,080 --> 00:31:02,160
Do you need to be watered?

369
00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:03,640
You might need to be watered, actually.

370
00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:05,920
You might have a point.

371
00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:10,800
It's I'm kindly meant, I'm, I'm certain abomination, but I am fine for the moment.

372
00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:12,160
Thank you so very much.

373
00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:14,800
So wait, am I the only one that's got to eat?

374
00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:17,680
Yeah, it might be.

375
00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:19,760
Oh man.

376
00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:21,080
You still like eating.

377
00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:27,160
Yeah, I think, I think Ljomi probably does quite well with photosynthesis.

378
00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:33,880
So there's a good segue in to remind you that outside, because it's the polar summer, the

379
00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:36,000
midnight sun dominates the sky.

380
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:38,680
So it's always light throughout.

381
00:31:38,680 --> 00:31:43,400
All of this adventure, you will not be able to hide in shadows or stulking darkness because

382
00:31:43,400 --> 00:31:47,240
the sun is always toiling above you.

383
00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:51,640
Now the town itself is a kind of rough industrial town.

384
00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:56,840
There's a vibrant community there, but it's also very much melded with the wild.

385
00:31:56,840 --> 00:32:03,420
So reindeer mope in between the abandoned mining gear that doubles as surreal monuments

386
00:32:03,420 --> 00:32:04,420
on the street corners.

387
00:32:04,420 --> 00:32:10,000
And the air is alive with the excited yips of huskies that call the town home.

388
00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:15,880
And then on the fjords, just on the outskirts of town, you can see it clearly from your

389
00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:17,000
vantage point.

390
00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:25,960
You can see whales swimming and that's not an unusual occurrence to see a walrus lazing

391
00:32:25,960 --> 00:32:27,320
on the shore.

392
00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:32,160
And beyond the just the sick house, there's the bank, there's a newspaper, a hotel, the

393
00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:35,960
law house, restaurants, several bars.

394
00:32:35,960 --> 00:32:43,940
And obviously the town has the research institute, the Firefox Institute named for the Northern

395
00:32:43,940 --> 00:32:47,200
Lights and the myths surrounding those.

396
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:54,160
That's where the winter wise and their students have holed up in this remote outpost to study

397
00:32:54,160 --> 00:33:03,280
the effects of that harsh winter and hopefully reverse it before the world ends.

398
00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:06,760
The rumors of Ragnarok become true.

399
00:33:06,760 --> 00:33:11,520
So all around you as well, there are houses made of stone bright painted aluminium.

400
00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:17,760
Some of them are raised on stilts to avoid permafrost melting underneath and see the

401
00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:26,920
shifting nature of the ground that comes with the kind of freezing and the unfreezng under

402
00:33:26,920 --> 00:33:28,520
the summer sun.

403
00:33:28,520 --> 00:33:35,840
One of those houses is presumably the home of Bjarnard Bjarnardsson, the meat bag who

404
00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:42,000
you have been asked to escort to the Attistup.

405
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:46,280
Does anyone know the nature of the Death Law?

406
00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:52,280
Do you want me to explain that to you or have you got a good handle on it and the reason

407
00:33:52,280 --> 00:34:02,640
for picking people to the Attistup or as it's known the Troll's tongue?

408
00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:06,800
People push them off the Troll's tongue, right?

409
00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:10,480
That's right, they're pushing them down.

410
00:34:10,480 --> 00:34:16,440
The reason for it is because they don't want people to die in town because this area is

411
00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:21,560
surrounded by the isbjorn, the polar bears are sacred animals.

412
00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:29,520
They don't want to cause the animals to be lured into town by dead bodies, by carrion.

413
00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:35,560
If they're eating people then they can be forced to be shot at and no one wants to injure

414
00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:36,560
these bears.

415
00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:44,720
And they're not just polar bears in this kind of Norse world, they are really sacred animals.

416
00:34:44,720 --> 00:34:50,240
They're blessed with powerful spirits and observing, protecting and even gifting the

417
00:34:50,240 --> 00:34:54,040
bears is one of the reasons why Hjálpmakaar. exists.

418
00:34:54,040 --> 00:34:59,480
The Ísbjörn are the kings and queens of beasts, they're the rulers of the wild and

419
00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:07,440
they're known amongst the population as things like Odin's dogs, the ever wandering ones.

420
00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:14,880
They're wise and powerful beasts and there is a kind of sanctity about them that you

421
00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:19,000
would be wise to heed.

422
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:21,640
Better than people.

423
00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:31,520
I have a question for the clockwork that pokes things, how long a journey to the meatbags,

424
00:35:31,520 --> 00:35:35,760
the hunting, fishing hut, I forget what you said.

425
00:35:35,760 --> 00:35:44,800
The Dverg has somewhat retreated back to its duties having been kind of offended and it

426
00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:52,440
just chimes back at you, this conversation can serve no further purpose.

427
00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:54,120
Thank you for your custom.

428
00:35:54,120 --> 00:35:58,880
I turn to Eir, I hope I'm pronouncing your name right Abomination.

429
00:35:58,880 --> 00:35:59,880
Eir?

430
00:35:59,880 --> 00:36:02,880
Is that what it is?

431
00:36:02,880 --> 00:36:03,880
Eir?

432
00:36:03,880 --> 00:36:04,880
Eir.

433
00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:09,280
Why don't you go ask that thing again, I didn't get a sufficient answer.

434
00:36:09,280 --> 00:36:12,280
Go ask it again.

435
00:36:12,280 --> 00:36:13,280
No.

436
00:36:13,280 --> 00:36:18,760
Alright, unnecessary companions, I think we should head out.

437
00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:21,920
We don't have to, I'll go through it.

438
00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:29,680
Wait a second, I only got bread, I only got four pennies of bread so I don't got any money

439
00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:31,200
if we get some food for me.

440
00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:34,200
I might get a little hungry.

441
00:36:34,200 --> 00:36:36,560
I think we spent everything on the card.

442
00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:39,160
You spent everything on the card.

443
00:36:39,160 --> 00:36:43,640
You pre-spent on the card I believe, you're already sinking yourself into debt but with

444
00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:45,640
such a short life why not?

445
00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:54,160
So Eir or Ljomi, you guys got me a little bit of a chunk of change on you?

446
00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:58,200
Let's swing by the market and we can find something to keep you alive a little longer.

447
00:36:58,200 --> 00:36:59,200
Cheers.

448
00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:05,200
You can always cut a piece off that ornate skin the thing is wearing.

449
00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:11,520
There's a range of places where you might get victuals from the cooking kettle which

450
00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:21,000
is the name of the local hostelry or you could go to Gunners Gunstore for a variety of outdoor

451
00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:28,960
equipment or perhaps you know Bjarnard Bjarnsadrson himself may have equipment and sustenance

452
00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:30,520
for the road ahead.

453
00:37:30,520 --> 00:37:37,280
You know from just your general understanding of the environments that the Attistoop is

454
00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:42,960
probably a day and a half, two days walk, bear in mind the sun will not set so you will

455
00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:51,320
be camping in the kind of red, golden, amber hues of the almost setting sun but it never

456
00:37:51,320 --> 00:37:53,240
dips below the horizon.

457
00:37:53,240 --> 00:37:57,000
We can stop if we must but really I won't need any rest.

458
00:37:57,000 --> 00:38:04,600
Can you survive until we get to this gentleman because then you can have all his food once

459
00:38:04,600 --> 00:38:08,440
we escort him to the bottom of the cliff.

460
00:38:08,440 --> 00:38:11,640
Finding his house is a bit like walking around a neighbourhood.

461
00:38:11,640 --> 00:38:17,760
If you expire through starvation whilst looking for this guy's house there's something wrong

462
00:38:17,760 --> 00:38:20,200
you're pretty well nourished.

463
00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:22,840
Is there a city hall or a library?

464
00:38:22,840 --> 00:38:31,400
There is the law speaker's office, the Norse kind of system of justice has a law speaker

465
00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:39,560
who presides over the thing, the thing being the kind of local assembly and place where

466
00:38:39,560 --> 00:38:41,440
laws are made.

467
00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:47,040
So you could go there if you wanted to speak to a figure in authority.

468
00:38:47,040 --> 00:38:51,640
I do believe you have a map that you may be able to look at and prove it.

469
00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:58,480
Depending on how quickly you want to get on your way, remember this guy did have a 93%

470
00:38:58,480 --> 00:39:03,360
chance of dying in the next couple of days.

471
00:39:03,360 --> 00:39:04,360
I just think it's a good idea.

472
00:39:04,360 --> 00:39:07,960
I mean if it's a big enough city they probably run a census.

473
00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:13,280
We could probably get some public records from the law office, see where he lives.

474
00:39:13,280 --> 00:39:20,800
And that is a very good and sensible idea but it's more town size, probably 2 or 3,000

475
00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:21,800
people live there.

476
00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:29,560
And it's also not the capital where records would be held.

477
00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:36,320
That was a place called Kóngssteinn or Kingstone named for the diamond mines.

478
00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:41,920
That's a bit further north but that place was abandoned hurriedly some decades ago and

479
00:39:41,920 --> 00:39:47,440
most people moved to Hjálpmakaar or just left the region entirely.

480
00:39:47,440 --> 00:39:49,120
Looking at the map I see there's a post office.

481
00:39:49,120 --> 00:39:51,440
We can go ask there, he got mail recently.

482
00:39:51,440 --> 00:39:53,760
Yeah, that's a good idea.

483
00:39:53,760 --> 00:39:55,920
This seems wise.

484
00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:58,720
Well done, well done, Clockwork.

485
00:39:58,720 --> 00:39:59,720
Thank you.

486
00:39:59,720 --> 00:40:04,740
I go over to Yomi and I give him the traditional kiss.

487
00:40:04,740 --> 00:40:08,760
This will not be necessary, I do not require nourishment.

488
00:40:08,760 --> 00:40:11,000
I do not require nourishment.

489
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:14,320
Entirely necessary.

490
00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:17,960
Are you kissing with your rune-encrusted tongue?

491
00:40:17,960 --> 00:40:26,800
No, I'll be kissing with slot 2, which has my wetter tongue.

492
00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:29,840
We want to be careful not to slot shame.

493
00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:30,840
Yes.

494
00:40:30,840 --> 00:40:38,400
Alright, so the post office.

495
00:40:38,400 --> 00:40:50,040
Post office are in this era of imperial decay, not in much use.

496
00:40:50,040 --> 00:40:58,280
The odd freighter or cargo ship does sail with icebreakers through the Dumshaf or in

497
00:40:58,280 --> 00:41:05,880
the local sea that leads up to this former archipelago.

498
00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:10,800
Not many missives are sent anymore after the war.

499
00:41:10,800 --> 00:41:23,120
So the post office is all but abandoned and just has an old, old man sitting in what looks

500
00:41:23,120 --> 00:41:27,700
like a kind of rocking chair and he's half asleep.

501
00:41:27,700 --> 00:41:38,160
He's clearly seen many things, perhaps a veteran of the war because his right arm is entirely

502
00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:41,080
missing.

503
00:41:41,080 --> 00:41:42,560
I shall speak to him.

504
00:41:42,560 --> 00:41:46,440
I shall use small words and collect the information we require.

505
00:41:46,440 --> 00:41:47,440
That, that?

506
00:41:47,440 --> 00:41:48,440
Oh, what is it?

507
00:41:48,440 --> 00:41:49,440
We are Luffy.

508
00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:52,760
You make that much of a noise.

509
00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:55,040
We, excuse silence please.

510
00:41:55,040 --> 00:41:56,880
Go on, use your small words.

511
00:41:56,880 --> 00:42:06,160
We are looking for the meatbag that is dying.

512
00:42:06,160 --> 00:42:07,320
Where is he?

513
00:42:07,320 --> 00:42:14,120
I've woken up and was f**ked by a tree.

514
00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:15,600
This one is broken.

515
00:42:15,600 --> 00:42:16,960
Someone else speak to him.

516
00:42:16,960 --> 00:42:20,440
I, I, let's huddle up for a second guys.

517
00:42:20,440 --> 00:42:23,480
You're very touchy for a clock.

518
00:42:23,480 --> 00:42:25,480
Does that involve probing?

519
00:42:25,480 --> 00:42:26,520
Not yet.

520
00:42:26,520 --> 00:42:29,000
So this guy's f**king crazy.

521
00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:30,440
He's out the door soon.

522
00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:32,640
What if we take him to the cliff too?

523
00:42:32,640 --> 00:42:37,640
Get more, we get more money from the first robot.

524
00:42:37,640 --> 00:42:38,640
Two for one.

525
00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:39,640
That's a logical sound.

526
00:42:39,640 --> 00:42:40,640
Very efficient.

527
00:42:40,640 --> 00:42:46,040
We could round up all the people who appeared near death.

528
00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:49,640
And drive them to the sea.

529
00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:54,080
You guys are missing a real lack of humanity man.

530
00:42:54,080 --> 00:42:56,760
Like let me talk to this guy.

531
00:42:56,760 --> 00:42:57,960
This is a guy right?

532
00:42:57,960 --> 00:42:59,360
This is just a fella.

533
00:42:59,360 --> 00:43:00,360
Human fella.

534
00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:03,360
Yes, one of one of yours.

535
00:43:03,360 --> 00:43:05,520
Smells very bad.

536
00:43:05,520 --> 00:43:08,680
Guys, come on now.

537
00:43:08,680 --> 00:43:10,320
Not like a tree at all.

538
00:43:10,320 --> 00:43:11,800
This nice fella right here.

539
00:43:11,800 --> 00:43:13,240
He's gonna help us out.

540
00:43:13,240 --> 00:43:14,240
Excuse me sir.

541
00:43:14,240 --> 00:43:17,240
Can I, look, don't look at these guys.

542
00:43:17,240 --> 00:43:18,240
Don't look at them alright.

543
00:43:18,240 --> 00:43:19,240
They're freaky.

544
00:43:19,240 --> 00:43:21,360
Guys, stand over to the side please.

545
00:43:21,360 --> 00:43:23,200
You're freaking them out.

546
00:43:23,200 --> 00:43:28,600
I thought me on my way to Valhalla and had seen the spirits.

547
00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:33,360
The very Valkyries come to take my soul.

548
00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:34,840
I mean, it's not wrong.

549
00:43:34,840 --> 00:43:38,560
Wow, I mean, well yeah that's true actually.

550
00:43:38,560 --> 00:43:40,880
People might be taking your soul.

551
00:43:40,880 --> 00:43:42,720
It's possible from what I hear.

552
00:43:42,720 --> 00:43:43,720
Is that true Aer?

553
00:43:43,720 --> 00:43:45,600
Is it, cause you're right that's kinda what happened.

554
00:43:45,600 --> 00:43:48,000
Oh it's, oh yes.

555
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:49,000
Yeah so.

556
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:52,160
You think the afterlife's gonna be the end of it but no.

557
00:43:52,160 --> 00:43:54,320
There's more.

558
00:43:54,320 --> 00:43:59,360
And so what was, what was, what's, what's, lo-mi, lo-mi.

559
00:43:59,360 --> 00:44:01,360
Lo-mi man.

560
00:44:01,360 --> 00:44:02,360
Yes.

561
00:44:02,360 --> 00:44:03,800
What you wanna ask him?

562
00:44:03,800 --> 00:44:08,440
We want to know where the meat bag who is dying, where is he?

563
00:44:08,440 --> 00:44:10,280
I believe that was the question we needed.

564
00:44:10,280 --> 00:44:11,280
Where is he?

565
00:44:11,280 --> 00:44:13,720
The meat, the meat bags live I think inside.

566
00:44:13,720 --> 00:44:14,720
He's talking about a fella.

567
00:44:14,720 --> 00:44:15,720
He's talking about a fella.

568
00:44:15,720 --> 00:44:17,200
The one we're looking for.

569
00:44:17,200 --> 00:44:19,360
The names, I don't know.

570
00:44:19,360 --> 00:44:21,040
Is it Brandon, Brandon Buford?

571
00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:23,280
No no, Brandon Brandenson.

572
00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:25,080
Bjorn, Bjornson?

573
00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:26,080
Bjornson?

574
00:44:26,080 --> 00:44:29,040
Bjorn, Bjorn, Bjornison.

575
00:44:29,040 --> 00:44:32,440
You could just, you could just call him Bernie or Bjarne.

576
00:44:32,440 --> 00:44:33,920
Bernie, Bernie, Bernison.

577
00:44:33,920 --> 00:44:35,720
The meat bag, yes.

578
00:44:35,720 --> 00:44:36,720
Brando.

579
00:44:36,720 --> 00:44:37,720
The meat bag.

580
00:44:37,720 --> 00:44:38,720
Where is he?

581
00:44:38,720 --> 00:44:39,720
Where is he?

582
00:44:39,720 --> 00:44:40,720
Where, where?

583
00:44:40,720 --> 00:44:41,720
Okay, alright.

584
00:44:41,720 --> 00:44:42,720
He.

585
00:44:42,720 --> 00:44:43,720
The trapper?

586
00:44:43,720 --> 00:44:44,720
He's a trapper?

587
00:44:44,720 --> 00:44:48,920
He'll be in one of the old trapper cabins?

588
00:44:48,920 --> 00:44:50,080
Which one?

589
00:44:50,080 --> 00:44:52,320
How many are there?

590
00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:55,040
There's not more than half a dozen.

591
00:44:55,040 --> 00:45:03,120
Trapper cabins are kind of ramshackle structures built of driftwood, which itinerant trappers

592
00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:05,720
and hunters have kind of cobbled together.

593
00:45:05,720 --> 00:45:12,240
It's not like one of the more colorful aluminium siding houses.

594
00:45:12,240 --> 00:45:18,920
It's, it really is the equivalent of a shack.

595
00:45:18,920 --> 00:45:24,840
They're all on the outskirts of town because the trappers are a miserable bunch, keeping

596
00:45:24,840 --> 00:45:26,480
themselves themselves.

597
00:45:26,480 --> 00:45:28,200
I am going there now.

598
00:45:28,200 --> 00:45:29,200
Okay.

599
00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:31,080
This tree's got an attitude, man.

600
00:45:31,080 --> 00:45:32,080
Who's with me?

601
00:45:32,080 --> 00:45:33,080
Yep.

602
00:45:33,080 --> 00:45:41,560
Okay, so it's, you crunch across some of the gravel streets, kicking away the odd hungry

603
00:45:41,560 --> 00:45:43,920
dog that starts to tail you.

604
00:45:43,920 --> 00:45:53,000
One of them presumably cocks a leg on our alfalfa friend here just to provide that watering.

605
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:55,640
This is why I do not need sustenance.

606
00:45:55,640 --> 00:45:58,520
A gift from the Evergreen.

607
00:45:58,520 --> 00:45:59,520
Thank you.

608
00:45:59,520 --> 00:46:00,520
You drink your own.

609
00:46:00,520 --> 00:46:01,520
You may all praise me.

610
00:46:01,520 --> 00:46:05,760
I'll praise the urine soaked.

611
00:46:05,760 --> 00:46:16,560
You find your way to, like I said, these trapper cabins, this one in particular has an open

612
00:46:16,560 --> 00:46:20,400
door that looks like it's been propped open.

613
00:46:20,400 --> 00:46:27,160
It has a small single window with makeshift bars and shutters and the massive logs that

614
00:46:27,160 --> 00:46:32,920
are propped up against them so as to stop any wandering bears squeezing between the

615
00:46:32,920 --> 00:46:39,200
trunks or managing to squeeze in an inquisitive snout or paw.

616
00:46:39,200 --> 00:46:48,840
And you can almost smell the smoke that you can see issuing forth.

617
00:46:48,840 --> 00:46:54,920
Every decent trapper cabin has a pot bellied stove inside which serves as heater, dryer

618
00:46:54,920 --> 00:46:55,920
and cooker.

619
00:46:55,920 --> 00:47:05,000
I'd like to roll into the door as hard as I can see if I can break through.

620
00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:06,280
Could knock.

621
00:47:06,280 --> 00:47:08,440
Yeah, I'll look.

622
00:47:08,440 --> 00:47:12,680
I shall speak to the dying in small words so he can understand.

623
00:47:12,680 --> 00:47:15,400
Why don't we knock?

624
00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:16,400
Hello, dying.

625
00:47:16,400 --> 00:47:19,400
Oh, God, what did he just do?

626
00:47:19,400 --> 00:47:21,200
Did he just, did he just?

627
00:47:21,200 --> 00:47:22,760
He just started shouting at the cabin.

628
00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:24,360
He started shouting at the cabin.

629
00:47:24,360 --> 00:47:29,960
Is there, do I detect any heat signature inside?

630
00:47:29,960 --> 00:47:32,480
You do using your thermal vision.

631
00:47:32,480 --> 00:47:36,640
There's a trait that a bunch of you share.

632
00:47:36,640 --> 00:47:43,120
I think Proud Halif is the only one who doesn't have some kind of otherworldly technological

633
00:47:43,120 --> 00:47:44,120
sight.

634
00:47:44,120 --> 00:47:54,040
Yes, you can see an individual slumped over a item of furniture.

635
00:47:54,040 --> 00:47:59,640
Please send our human friend to go knock on the door so that, so as to not startle the

636
00:47:59,640 --> 00:48:00,640
...

637
00:48:00,640 --> 00:48:01,640
Exactly.

638
00:48:01,640 --> 00:48:03,640
Is that all right with you Legsko?

639
00:48:03,640 --> 00:48:05,840
Yeah, oh yeah.

640
00:48:05,840 --> 00:48:10,040
Dying one, come out, you must die.

641
00:48:10,040 --> 00:48:11,040
Okay, all right, I'm going.

642
00:48:11,040 --> 00:48:15,600
All right, so I go up, I got my gun, I got it locked and loaded.

643
00:48:15,600 --> 00:48:19,560
All right, I'm going to knock on the door.

644
00:48:19,560 --> 00:48:20,560
Okay.

645
00:48:20,560 --> 00:48:32,920
There is a gruff voice that comes out asking who's there, a kind of whiskey growl.

646
00:48:32,920 --> 00:48:40,640
And you see stuck through that window, I told you that with the bars, you see a granite

647
00:48:40,640 --> 00:48:45,120
jawed old man wearing furs.

648
00:48:45,120 --> 00:48:52,920
His well-thumbed, well-picked nose has still got a finger up it as he sneers out at you

649
00:48:52,920 --> 00:48:57,240
and says, what is it?

650
00:48:57,240 --> 00:49:07,600
Can I not be left to my own devices in these last few hours I have left?

651
00:49:07,600 --> 00:49:08,600
This might be him.

652
00:49:08,600 --> 00:49:13,000
Come with us, it's time to die.

653
00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:16,640
Someone put some tape on this tree's butt.

654
00:49:16,640 --> 00:49:25,680
Oh man, all right, so I got to whisper over to the guys here.

655
00:49:25,680 --> 00:49:28,280
I don't understand the holdup, what's the holdup?

656
00:49:28,280 --> 00:49:32,040
Our mission is very straightforward, I don't understand.

657
00:49:32,040 --> 00:49:33,720
Why do you all talk so much?

658
00:49:33,720 --> 00:49:38,800
We're trying to gain his cooperation to make it easier for everyone.

659
00:49:38,800 --> 00:49:42,600
It's easiest for us if we can convince him to walk off the cliff himself.

660
00:49:42,600 --> 00:49:43,600
Yes, yes.

661
00:49:43,600 --> 00:49:45,640
This all seems very overly complicated.

662
00:49:45,640 --> 00:49:53,640
He suddenly looks very wide-eyed as he takes the measure of your whole posse and says,

663
00:49:53,640 --> 00:49:55,360
what is this?

664
00:49:55,360 --> 00:49:59,160
Have I died and found the high hall of hell?

665
00:49:59,160 --> 00:50:06,240
Loki's child has summoned me too soon, a procession of the dead to see me to my doom.

666
00:50:06,240 --> 00:50:08,600
Oh, he's got it down.

667
00:50:08,600 --> 00:50:11,320
He actually knows exactly what's going on.

668
00:50:11,320 --> 00:50:14,320
He actually just said exactly.

669
00:50:14,320 --> 00:50:16,840
That is in fact who we are.

670
00:50:16,840 --> 00:50:19,600
So come along, time to die.

671
00:50:19,600 --> 00:50:20,600
And what is this?

672
00:50:20,600 --> 00:50:25,240
He says, pointing at Eir the dökkálfar.

673
00:50:25,240 --> 00:50:26,240
An abomination, don't worry.

674
00:50:26,240 --> 00:50:30,800
If he's not a warlock, then he's certainly Hell's Pimp.

675
00:50:30,800 --> 00:50:31,800
Hell?

676
00:50:31,800 --> 00:50:32,800
Hell's Pimp?

677
00:50:32,800 --> 00:50:33,800
Wait.

678
00:50:33,800 --> 00:50:36,800
He's got a tongue on him.

679
00:50:36,800 --> 00:50:39,000
My god, that explains the cool hat.

680
00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:41,240
Hell's Pimp, that's kind of cool.

681
00:50:41,240 --> 00:50:43,920
Yeah, I don't mind it.

682
00:50:43,920 --> 00:50:44,920
I kind of dig that.

683
00:50:44,920 --> 00:50:45,920
I think that's your new nickname.

684
00:50:45,920 --> 00:50:50,280
Come with me, dying meat bag, let's go.

685
00:50:50,280 --> 00:50:51,520
Time to finish this up.

686
00:50:51,520 --> 00:50:54,520
You have a responsibility, let's go.

687
00:50:54,520 --> 00:50:55,520
That's true, right?

688
00:50:55,520 --> 00:50:57,160
Like, I mean, Mr. Meat Bag, sir.

689
00:50:57,160 --> 00:51:04,400
I mean, look, I'm a fellow meat bag, and we all got a responsibility not to have the...

690
00:51:04,400 --> 00:51:08,560
Pardon me and fuck yourself, you sniveling snot rag.

691
00:51:08,560 --> 00:51:12,720
I'm not going anywhere with the spawn of Hell.

692
00:51:12,720 --> 00:51:14,720
Tell him I'll carry him.

693
00:51:14,720 --> 00:51:15,720
Oh.

694
00:51:15,720 --> 00:51:17,680
What if you're carried?

695
00:51:17,680 --> 00:51:18,680
Yeah.

696
00:51:18,680 --> 00:51:22,160
Speak to him in small words, it seems to help.

697
00:51:22,160 --> 00:51:24,480
Wait a minute, which one of us was the spawn of Hell?

698
00:51:24,480 --> 00:51:26,480
I don't think any of us are from Hell.

699
00:51:26,480 --> 00:51:27,480
You are.

700
00:51:27,480 --> 00:51:30,520
You black-hearted fiend.

701
00:51:30,520 --> 00:51:37,080
I had enough of your kind when I was in Kóngssteinn, when the merc riders came from beyond the

702
00:51:37,080 --> 00:51:40,320
ground and ripped my brethren apart.

703
00:51:40,320 --> 00:51:41,320
Oh.

704
00:51:41,320 --> 00:51:46,320
I'll not be going anywhere with any of your dangerous kind.

705
00:51:46,320 --> 00:51:47,320
This is where he peeked.

706
00:51:47,320 --> 00:51:48,320
So he's a...

707
00:51:48,320 --> 00:51:49,320
You're out.

708
00:51:49,320 --> 00:51:50,320
Yeah.

709
00:51:50,320 --> 00:51:51,320
So he's fell...

710
00:51:51,320 --> 00:51:53,320
Are you a fellow vet, sir?

711
00:51:53,320 --> 00:51:55,600
Have you done time?

712
00:51:55,600 --> 00:51:56,600
Served in the...

713
00:51:56,600 --> 00:51:57,600
Served in the...

714
00:51:57,600 --> 00:51:59,880
In his former capacity.

715
00:51:59,880 --> 00:52:04,880
I earned my place on the stairway to Valhalla.

716
00:52:04,880 --> 00:52:05,880
That's right.

717
00:52:05,880 --> 00:52:09,600
I had fun to go there.

718
00:52:09,600 --> 00:52:10,600
So what's your quip?

719
00:52:10,600 --> 00:52:11,600
What's your problem?

720
00:52:11,600 --> 00:52:12,600
You don't want to die?

721
00:52:12,600 --> 00:52:15,680
You're not afraid of it, are you?

722
00:52:15,680 --> 00:52:23,240
I'll die standing on my feet, not escorted by an abominable stickman, a saucebot, and

723
00:52:23,240 --> 00:52:25,280
a devil priest.

724
00:52:25,280 --> 00:52:28,000
I have an unrelated question.

725
00:52:28,000 --> 00:52:32,920
Where is the cliff where the people who are dying go?

726
00:52:32,920 --> 00:52:33,920
The attestoop?

727
00:52:33,920 --> 00:52:34,920
The troll's tongue?

728
00:52:34,920 --> 00:52:38,520
Why, day and a half's wait.

729
00:52:38,520 --> 00:52:39,520
Would you show me?

730
00:52:39,520 --> 00:52:43,600
I'd be ever, ever so grateful.

731
00:52:43,600 --> 00:52:48,560
You think I'm falling for that trick, you child of a long dead sow?

732
00:52:48,560 --> 00:52:50,560
You're falling for something.

733
00:52:50,560 --> 00:52:54,760
Off a Cliff.

734
00:52:54,760 --> 00:53:00,080
I say we kill him now, put him on the clockwork, and...

735
00:53:00,080 --> 00:53:01,080
We can't kill him.

736
00:53:01,080 --> 00:53:02,320
We can't kill him now.

737
00:53:02,320 --> 00:53:03,320
That's the whole point.

738
00:53:03,320 --> 00:53:08,320
I'd like to remind you, you do have Happy Death Day merchandise at your disposal.

739
00:53:08,320 --> 00:53:09,320
Oh, oh, oh.

740
00:53:09,320 --> 00:53:10,320
I need to sign it.

741
00:53:10,320 --> 00:53:11,320
Okay, what are we writing, guys?

742
00:53:11,320 --> 00:53:14,320
What are we writing in the car?

743
00:53:14,320 --> 00:53:20,880
Okay, to Bernie, congratulations on a life well lived, but it's over now.

744
00:53:20,880 --> 00:53:21,880
Enjoy the trip.

745
00:53:21,880 --> 00:53:22,880
Signed.

746
00:53:22,880 --> 00:53:24,360
Okay, hand it off to whoever's next.

747
00:53:24,360 --> 00:53:25,360
I'll take it next.

748
00:53:25,360 --> 00:53:32,280
And I drizzle some sap on it in an ancient ruin that signifies my presence, my intelligence,

749
00:53:32,280 --> 00:53:34,360
and my gift to reality.

750
00:53:34,360 --> 00:53:35,680
I pass it on.

751
00:53:35,680 --> 00:53:39,720
It looks like a deck.

752
00:53:39,720 --> 00:53:48,880
I write, amen, really great job in the war, you lived a great life, hags.

753
00:53:48,880 --> 00:53:49,880
Hags.

754
00:53:49,880 --> 00:53:57,560
Yeah, have a great summer.

755
00:53:57,560 --> 00:53:59,840
And did you get any balloons as well?

756
00:53:59,840 --> 00:54:04,160
I think we just picked up the card.

757
00:54:04,160 --> 00:54:05,720
It was just, but it's a nice card, right?

758
00:54:05,720 --> 00:54:06,720
We got one of the nice ones.

759
00:54:06,720 --> 00:54:07,720
Can I sign it?

760
00:54:07,720 --> 00:54:08,720
Oh, no.

761
00:54:08,720 --> 00:54:09,720
Yeah, yeah, yeah, please, please.

762
00:54:09,720 --> 00:54:11,840
Yeah, you're by the door, you gotta slip it under.

763
00:54:11,840 --> 00:54:14,280
I believe it's embossed.

764
00:54:14,280 --> 00:54:24,640
So I'm just gonna put my, I had this one pubic hair that was passed down, and so for my father.

765
00:54:24,640 --> 00:54:28,800
So I put it in because it just means a lot.

766
00:54:28,800 --> 00:54:34,160
That's the kind of classic Viking lineage that you're talking about.

767
00:54:34,160 --> 00:54:36,800
And that's just proof.

768
00:54:36,800 --> 00:54:42,920
That's honor and justice and all of the things that you want to teach your children.

769
00:54:42,920 --> 00:54:44,560
Yeah, respecting your ancestors.

770
00:54:44,560 --> 00:54:47,360
You're giving him pubic hair, you must really respect him.

771
00:54:47,360 --> 00:54:48,960
They do.

772
00:54:48,960 --> 00:54:51,440
Truth, justice in the Norsican way.

773
00:54:51,440 --> 00:54:54,240
Can I get the card back for one second?

774
00:54:54,240 --> 00:54:55,240
Yeah.

775
00:54:55,240 --> 00:55:01,080
I just want to, I kiss it and leave a lipstick stain and then give it back.

776
00:55:01,080 --> 00:55:02,080
Okay.

777
00:55:02,080 --> 00:55:03,080
I'll get the side of the pew.

778
00:55:03,080 --> 00:55:04,080
Okay.

779
00:55:04,080 --> 00:55:08,760
They warned me, the other Álfar warned me that the world would not be as I knew it if

780
00:55:08,760 --> 00:55:10,240
I left the grove.

781
00:55:10,240 --> 00:55:13,120
I wish I had listened.

782
00:55:13,120 --> 00:55:14,840
Yeah.

783
00:55:14,840 --> 00:55:18,360
You didn't expect it to make sense, did you?

784
00:55:18,360 --> 00:55:21,280
And so you're sliding this card under the door.

785
00:55:21,280 --> 00:55:22,640
Yeah, there it goes.

786
00:55:22,640 --> 00:55:27,000
Did we say a few words or something, maybe there's a song or...

787
00:55:27,000 --> 00:55:29,240
I have a question for Eir.

788
00:55:29,240 --> 00:55:31,400
You like killing things, right?

789
00:55:31,400 --> 00:55:32,400
I did.

790
00:55:32,400 --> 00:55:33,400
I did.

791
00:55:33,400 --> 00:55:37,120
I just think, I just think we could speed this whole thing right up.

792
00:55:37,120 --> 00:55:38,120
Right.

793
00:55:38,120 --> 00:55:44,040
But the point of the exercise is for him to not die in the town limits.

794
00:55:44,040 --> 00:55:46,040
Well, remember that part?

795
00:55:46,040 --> 00:55:51,440
Yes, but if the body isn't here at the end of it all, who's to know the details in between?

796
00:55:51,440 --> 00:55:52,800
That's all I'm saying.

797
00:55:52,800 --> 00:55:55,480
But we can't eat, so how do we get rid of the body?

798
00:55:55,480 --> 00:55:57,040
I have things I've got to go do.

799
00:55:57,040 --> 00:55:58,040
Okay.

800
00:55:58,040 --> 00:56:01,560
No, we take it to the cliff and we throw it off and it's very simple and everything's

801
00:56:01,560 --> 00:56:05,880
checked off and everybody's happy and the probie clockwork is happy and you're happy

802
00:56:05,880 --> 00:56:08,760
and I'm happy and I get to go find the winter wise.

803
00:56:08,760 --> 00:56:10,240
I get my letter of recommendation.

804
00:56:10,240 --> 00:56:12,800
I don't have to see you people again.

805
00:56:12,800 --> 00:56:15,200
It seems just the perfect solution.

806
00:56:15,200 --> 00:56:20,520
Can I assume from the direction I'm headed that you may well be thinking about intimidating

807
00:56:20,520 --> 00:56:28,640
this man into going or are you appealing to reason his sense of law abiding this to avoid

808
00:56:28,640 --> 00:56:29,640
the death law?

809
00:56:29,640 --> 00:56:30,640
What's your approach?

810
00:56:30,640 --> 00:56:33,840
First and foremost, does he like the card?

811
00:56:33,840 --> 00:56:35,160
Yeah.

812
00:56:35,160 --> 00:56:39,280
I'm mostly misunderstanding the situation.

813
00:56:39,280 --> 00:56:46,480
Does he have to be conscious when he gets to the cliff?

814
00:56:46,480 --> 00:56:49,160
Maybe an angle there.

815
00:56:49,160 --> 00:56:57,000
I tell you what, you can make a wits change roll if you wish.

816
00:56:57,000 --> 00:56:58,000
Oh my God.

817
00:56:58,000 --> 00:56:59,000
And I make the first roll?

818
00:56:59,000 --> 00:57:00,000
Woo!

819
00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:04,600
And that will give you your indication of whether that was legal or not.

820
00:57:04,600 --> 00:57:07,480
Okay, so that's a die 20 plus my wits modifier.

821
00:57:07,480 --> 00:57:08,480
Is that correct?

822
00:57:08,480 --> 00:57:10,760
And what's the target?

823
00:57:10,760 --> 00:57:12,840
And you want to get above 10.

824
00:57:12,840 --> 00:57:16,920
I'll give you a wheel on that, which means you can roll a die six and add it to that

825
00:57:16,920 --> 00:57:24,640
because I'm feeling generous that you don't make a misstep so early on in the campaign.

826
00:57:24,640 --> 00:57:25,640
That's fair.

827
00:57:25,640 --> 00:57:28,560
Well, you're fighting a losing battle there.

828
00:57:28,560 --> 00:57:34,520
One of the reasons we call it the thought and memory campaign is that not to give the

829
00:57:34,520 --> 00:57:39,200
characters a second thought because they won't be long in your memory.

830
00:57:39,200 --> 00:57:46,000
Editorial aside, I just feel that if we're expected to learn as we go, there could be

831
00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:47,760
a significant problem.

832
00:57:47,760 --> 00:57:49,560
Just stop.

833
00:57:49,560 --> 00:57:52,000
And back into character.

834
00:57:52,000 --> 00:57:56,440
Yeah, first roll of the campaign adds up to 20.

835
00:57:56,440 --> 00:57:57,440
Very good.

836
00:57:57,440 --> 00:58:04,920
Well, you surmise from what you know of the long and storied culture of the Norse Empire

837
00:58:04,920 --> 00:58:14,000
of which you were part up until about 700 years ago that it would be intensely dishonorable

838
00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:24,120
for you to not treat this gentleman with the his valor and his what he's contributed to

839
00:58:24,120 --> 00:58:28,880
society means that you really ought to send him off in the best way possible with some

840
00:58:28,880 --> 00:58:32,760
ceremony, with some speeches, with some race.

841
00:58:32,760 --> 00:58:33,760
Right.

842
00:58:33,760 --> 00:58:35,760
So we need to convince him.

843
00:58:35,760 --> 00:58:37,200
Did you roll the dice, Steve?

844
00:58:37,200 --> 00:58:38,200
I did.

845
00:58:38,200 --> 00:58:39,200
I did.

846
00:58:39,200 --> 00:58:40,200
I didn't see it.

847
00:58:40,200 --> 00:58:41,200
Oh, I'm sorry.

848
00:58:41,200 --> 00:58:42,200
I just rolled it on my tabletop.

849
00:58:42,200 --> 00:58:43,200
I forgot what it is.

850
00:58:43,200 --> 00:58:44,200
I forgot.

851
00:58:44,200 --> 00:58:46,200
Yeah, I've never trusted your kind.

852
00:58:46,200 --> 00:58:47,200
OK, anyway, carry on.

853
00:58:47,200 --> 00:58:49,200
The first roll was a natural 20.

854
00:58:49,200 --> 00:58:50,200
No, no, no.

855
00:58:50,200 --> 00:58:51,200
Dirty 20.

856
00:58:51,200 --> 00:58:52,200
Dirty 20.

857
00:58:52,200 --> 00:58:53,200
That no one saw.

858
00:58:53,200 --> 00:58:56,200
I expected nothing less of a moment.

859
00:58:56,200 --> 00:59:09,200
However, the card, it elicits a furious yell that reverberates around the timber construction.

860
00:59:09,200 --> 00:59:17,000
And you hear the man he bursts out wearing his trapper furs, his his granite jaw jutting

861
00:59:17,000 --> 00:59:20,520
out and again, just growling at you.

862
00:59:20,520 --> 00:59:28,680
And he says, with this fucking sword, I'll cleave your lying maggot mouths from your

863
00:59:28,680 --> 00:59:31,320
swine head.

864
00:59:31,320 --> 00:59:35,200
I don't think you're ready to go then.

865
00:59:35,200 --> 00:59:38,200
Is he attacking us?

866
00:59:38,200 --> 00:59:39,200
He's not.

867
00:59:39,200 --> 00:59:50,080
But I will allow Mr. Hopkins to make an intimidate role based upon his sneering down the length

868
00:59:50,080 --> 00:59:54,200
of his long arboreal nose.

869
00:59:54,200 --> 00:59:55,400
OK.

870
00:59:55,400 --> 00:59:57,080
What am I doing that against?

871
00:59:57,080 --> 01:00:02,160
Which it will be an attack role, a social attack role.

872
01:00:02,160 --> 01:00:06,200
And I think that you will use your wits.

873
01:00:06,200 --> 01:00:07,200
OK.

874
01:00:07,200 --> 01:00:10,640
So I have my wits are 11, so I get a plus one.

875
01:00:10,640 --> 01:00:14,080
Can I help in any way to help modify, improve his role?

876
01:00:14,080 --> 01:00:15,480
Because he's going to need it.

877
01:00:15,480 --> 01:00:20,120
I will allow you to lean in menacingly.

878
01:00:20,120 --> 01:00:21,120
I do so.

879
01:00:21,120 --> 01:00:25,240
You are, after all, spirits representing the other world.

880
01:00:25,240 --> 01:00:29,760
I mean, would I be able to have my gun locked and loaded?

881
01:00:29,760 --> 01:00:32,480
Can I just aim it at him as well?

882
01:00:32,480 --> 01:00:33,480
Sure.

883
01:00:33,480 --> 01:00:34,480
OK.

884
01:00:34,480 --> 01:00:35,800
Mean proof.

885
01:00:35,800 --> 01:00:40,480
So I'll roll a 1d20 and we're going to add things to it, I guess.

886
01:00:40,480 --> 01:00:42,160
Oh boy.

887
01:00:42,160 --> 01:00:44,400
I rolled a six.

888
01:00:44,400 --> 01:00:46,400
So with money add, that's a seven.

889
01:00:46,400 --> 01:00:47,400
OK.

890
01:00:47,400 --> 01:00:55,240
Now roll three dice sixes wheels and choose the highest of those three dice sixes to add

891
01:00:55,240 --> 01:00:56,240
to your seven.

892
01:00:56,240 --> 01:00:59,240
Keep us alive.

893
01:00:59,240 --> 01:01:01,080
OK so there is a six there.

894
01:01:01,080 --> 01:01:03,360
So that gets us to 13.

895
01:01:03,360 --> 01:01:13,720
OK, you're obviously a band of misfits is suitably intimidating, especially when they

896
01:01:13,720 --> 01:01:16,040
are backed up with a rifle.

897
01:01:16,040 --> 01:01:22,840
But it's not every day that demons of death do turn up to lead you to your trip to the

898
01:01:22,840 --> 01:01:23,840
afterlife.

899
01:01:23,840 --> 01:01:28,200
So Biani, his shoulders slump down.

900
01:01:28,200 --> 01:01:37,400
He drops the card and with resignation, he says, ah, tell this milk dribbling fucks me.

901
01:01:37,400 --> 01:01:39,400
I'm ready to go.

902
01:01:39,400 --> 01:01:43,280
Oh my God.

903
01:01:43,280 --> 01:01:47,840
I roll over and I say, sit on me.

904
01:01:47,840 --> 01:01:54,320
I will be your chariot to the afterlife.

905
01:01:54,320 --> 01:01:57,320
How noble, how graceful.

906
01:01:57,320 --> 01:02:04,040
You have offered yourself as a steed to mount.

907
01:02:04,040 --> 01:02:05,040
And?

908
01:02:05,040 --> 01:02:08,040
Do I got a roll?

909
01:02:08,040 --> 01:02:09,040
No, no, no.

910
01:02:09,040 --> 01:02:12,160
He is so dumbfounded by the offer.

911
01:02:12,160 --> 01:02:17,760
And bear in mind, there are these there are contraptions called Skidiverg, which are all

912
01:02:17,760 --> 01:02:18,760
around town.

913
01:02:18,760 --> 01:02:21,760
They are effectively skidoos.

914
01:02:21,760 --> 01:02:27,840
They are AI assisted, skidoos, and you know, you broadly look like you could be one of

915
01:02:27,840 --> 01:02:28,840
them.

916
01:02:28,840 --> 01:02:32,040
You've got you've got tracks as opposed to runners.

917
01:02:32,040 --> 01:02:40,820
But he slumps on top of you and almost collapses into a weary coma.

918
01:02:40,820 --> 01:02:44,120
He clearly is quite ill.

919
01:02:44,120 --> 01:02:52,120
And you can feel that this veteran of many campaigns is is rasping and coughing and there's

920
01:02:52,120 --> 01:03:02,800
a kind of light spray of blood that comes out when he sputters onto your seat.

921
01:03:02,800 --> 01:03:08,480
Let's I'd like to propose that as we take him towards the cliff of throwing that we

922
01:03:08,480 --> 01:03:16,560
move with a sense of gravitas and dignity that are appropriate for his final day.

923
01:03:16,560 --> 01:03:17,560
Great.

924
01:03:17,560 --> 01:03:18,560
Well done.

925
01:03:18,560 --> 01:03:19,560
Well done.

926
01:03:19,560 --> 01:03:20,560
Useless companions.

927
01:03:20,560 --> 01:03:21,560
100 percent.

928
01:03:21,560 --> 01:03:26,000
But I just want to say before we do that, I'm going to have to check out what's in the

929
01:03:26,000 --> 01:03:31,560
house and just anything that, you know, food and just valuables, anything.

930
01:03:31,560 --> 01:03:32,840
Yeah, it is.

931
01:03:32,840 --> 01:03:35,840
It is very spartan.

932
01:03:35,840 --> 01:03:36,840
Right.

933
01:03:36,840 --> 01:03:37,840
Right.

934
01:03:37,840 --> 01:03:38,840
There are some traps.

935
01:03:38,840 --> 01:03:47,360
There's a there's a few extra rounds of ammunition for your rifle that you have.

936
01:03:47,360 --> 01:03:55,680
But really, the last meal of what's effectively this condemned man was the open tin of beans

937
01:03:55,680 --> 01:03:58,320
that was cooking on the on the stove.

938
01:03:58,320 --> 01:03:59,320
I mentioned.

939
01:03:59,320 --> 01:04:03,440
OK, be sure not to take anything that doesn't belong to you.

940
01:04:03,440 --> 01:04:05,000
We do not want to offend.

941
01:04:05,000 --> 01:04:07,000
Yeah, of course not.

942
01:04:07,000 --> 01:04:08,880
Although, you know, hot meal.

943
01:04:08,880 --> 01:04:09,880
Yeah, yeah.

944
01:04:09,880 --> 01:04:10,880
That's the thing.

945
01:04:10,880 --> 01:04:11,880
Right.

946
01:04:11,880 --> 01:04:13,520
Like I don't think anything really belongs to anybody.

947
01:04:13,520 --> 01:04:14,520
Right.

948
01:04:14,520 --> 01:04:15,760
I think that's a construct.

949
01:04:15,760 --> 01:04:21,480
So I think I'm just going to take this is beans and I'm going to take a trap.

950
01:04:21,480 --> 01:04:24,520
Well, why don't we go on ahead?

951
01:04:24,520 --> 01:04:29,080
You know, once so that he doesn't see you rifling through his former home.

952
01:04:29,080 --> 01:04:31,080
I think he's passed out.

953
01:04:31,080 --> 01:04:33,560
Oh, he's he's passed out.

954
01:04:33,560 --> 01:04:37,160
He slumped over me and he's on to my face.

955
01:04:37,160 --> 01:04:38,160
Let's see.

956
01:04:38,160 --> 01:04:39,720
We should keep moving.

957
01:04:39,720 --> 01:04:44,840
You know, you beings have so many things to say that are of no consequence.

958
01:04:44,840 --> 01:04:45,840
I got this stuff.

959
01:04:45,840 --> 01:04:46,840
Let's get out of here.

960
01:04:46,840 --> 01:04:50,880
So you're headed towards the attitude patrols tongue.

961
01:04:50,880 --> 01:04:51,880
Right.

962
01:04:51,880 --> 01:04:52,880
Yeah.

963
01:04:52,880 --> 01:04:53,880
Yeah.

964
01:04:53,880 --> 01:05:01,440
Again, just to set the scene, this is Tundra in the middle of the polar summer.

965
01:05:01,440 --> 01:05:07,560
So the ground is boggy and it makes sucking noises at your boots.

966
01:05:07,560 --> 01:05:13,720
You're going to take the coastal path, which is penned by all of these muscular mountains.

967
01:05:13,720 --> 01:05:18,600
The charcoal flanks painted with the winter snow still.

968
01:05:18,600 --> 01:05:25,040
And again, above you, the sun pirouettes across the heavens producing this 24 hours petrol

969
01:05:25,040 --> 01:05:26,720
daylight.

970
01:05:26,720 --> 01:05:30,280
Perfect for the walruses that lays around the shore.

971
01:05:30,280 --> 01:05:36,320
And you're fairly familiar since the attitude does involve people jumping several hundred

972
01:05:36,320 --> 01:05:44,440
feet into the sea that the coastal path is the right way to go.

973
01:05:44,440 --> 01:05:53,760
Now beyond it himself, despite his age, illness and general reluctance, he is skilled outdoorsman.

974
01:05:53,760 --> 01:06:02,160
As you begin to walk, he perked up a little bit, perhaps enjoying the last few glimpses

975
01:06:02,160 --> 01:06:05,000
of his homeland.

976
01:06:05,000 --> 01:06:10,720
Is there a, do I remember like some sort of a fourth, well, I guess a 14th century version

977
01:06:10,720 --> 01:06:16,800
of a speech or some little bit of ritual, something to say or something, I don't know,

978
01:06:16,800 --> 01:06:21,840
something to sing or recite or whatever that would be appropriate for to see off a former

979
01:06:21,840 --> 01:06:25,800
warrior like this as he trucks himself or is chucked.

980
01:06:25,800 --> 01:06:32,400
You might want to reverberate with something like the harping of Gunnar, an ancient ballad

981
01:06:32,400 --> 01:06:37,720
from your era.

982
01:06:37,720 --> 01:06:45,120
I will, yeah, as he looks like he's getting ready to take the leap, yeah, I will start

983
01:06:45,120 --> 01:06:48,920
to recite or whatever the case may be.

984
01:06:48,920 --> 01:06:50,680
Hopefully I remember.

985
01:06:50,680 --> 01:06:51,960
He chimes up.

986
01:06:51,960 --> 01:06:54,440
It's rugged country, eh?

987
01:06:54,440 --> 01:06:57,360
Beautiful in its bleakness.

988
01:06:57,360 --> 01:07:02,240
One of the things I thought was if the old gods went to live anywhere, this is where

989
01:07:02,240 --> 01:07:04,280
they went.

990
01:07:04,280 --> 01:07:10,760
But mark my words, if you sing a baleful tune like that, the isp beyond will be upon you

991
01:07:10,760 --> 01:07:12,400
within seconds.

992
01:07:12,400 --> 01:07:15,280
Tell me of the bears.

993
01:07:15,280 --> 01:07:16,760
I would know of the bears.

994
01:07:16,760 --> 01:07:18,760
Tell me now of the bears.

995
01:07:18,760 --> 01:07:23,040
If you want to know, then I'll tell you.

996
01:07:23,040 --> 01:07:25,480
First time I came out here, it happened.

997
01:07:25,480 --> 01:07:26,480
Very first light.

998
01:07:26,480 --> 01:07:32,560
Ice bear comes cruising by, a big one, a real bruiser.

999
01:07:32,560 --> 01:07:37,960
Sometimes you see the isp beyond looks right at you, right into your eyes.

1000
01:07:37,960 --> 01:07:45,360
And the thing about an ice bear is he's got fiendish eyes, hungry eyes.

1001
01:07:45,360 --> 01:07:48,920
And then it came right down on top of my tent.

1002
01:07:48,920 --> 01:07:49,920
Just bam!

1003
01:07:49,920 --> 01:07:51,680
You wouldn't have believed it.

1004
01:07:51,680 --> 01:07:54,120
By Thor, he's got his head in his jaws.

1005
01:07:54,120 --> 01:07:58,640
And he ripped me out through the side of the tent like a cork out of a champagne bottle.

1006
01:07:58,640 --> 01:07:59,640
Boom!

1007
01:07:59,640 --> 01:08:02,040
And he just starts running.

1008
01:08:02,040 --> 01:08:05,240
He had me by my head running and I was getting dragged along.

1009
01:08:05,240 --> 01:08:07,960
And the breath, the breath.

1010
01:08:07,960 --> 01:08:12,280
You could not believe the smell of that best breath.

1011
01:08:12,280 --> 01:08:16,120
I could feel the bones cracking in my neck and my skull.

1012
01:08:16,120 --> 01:08:17,120
And look!

1013
01:08:17,120 --> 01:08:27,080
And he pulls back his hood and he says, I still bear the scars today.

1014
01:08:27,080 --> 01:08:34,300
One of my retractable appendages comes out for a high five at the pond.

1015
01:08:34,300 --> 01:08:36,560
So you like the animals then?

1016
01:08:36,560 --> 01:08:41,760
This is what you're telling me?

1017
01:08:41,760 --> 01:08:55,120
I would not muck if I were you, lest the norms have crossed our paths for a reason.

1018
01:08:55,120 --> 01:09:00,840
Has anyone ever raced these guys like a pack of dogs?

1019
01:09:00,840 --> 01:09:03,240
Race the ispion?

1020
01:09:03,240 --> 01:09:05,880
The ispion chariots.

1021
01:09:05,880 --> 01:09:07,440
That's what they call it.

1022
01:09:07,440 --> 01:09:16,240
Only the most famed and fabled of sportsmen can bind the ispion to a sled and have them

1023
01:09:16,240 --> 01:09:19,360
drive it onwards.

1024
01:09:19,360 --> 01:09:20,640
We would like one of those.

1025
01:09:20,640 --> 01:09:22,560
It would make our journeys quicker.

1026
01:09:22,560 --> 01:09:24,960
I want to see this.

1027
01:09:24,960 --> 01:09:27,120
Yeah, that sounds pretty awesome.

1028
01:09:27,120 --> 01:09:31,440
You alfar would bind the sacred bear?

1029
01:09:31,440 --> 01:09:36,920
What manner of a priest are you that turns so against nature?

1030
01:09:36,920 --> 01:09:38,640
That's shameful.

1031
01:09:38,640 --> 01:09:39,640
Ah.

1032
01:09:39,640 --> 01:09:41,640
What, me?

1033
01:09:41,640 --> 01:09:43,560
No, no, no.

1034
01:09:43,560 --> 01:09:47,240
You would never dream of binding the sacred bear.

1035
01:09:47,240 --> 01:09:53,200
So sorry, by the way, about your sack of shit world tree.

1036
01:09:53,200 --> 01:09:55,680
Oh, wow.

1037
01:09:55,680 --> 01:10:03,120
You question my service to the tree, my service to the natural world, and you say such things?

1038
01:10:03,120 --> 01:10:09,400
Is it not time for you to go?

1039
01:10:09,400 --> 01:10:10,400
Perhaps it may be.

1040
01:10:10,400 --> 01:10:18,560
And he looks up at the sky and draws your attention to the bright brilliance of the

1041
01:10:18,560 --> 01:10:19,560
polar day.

1042
01:10:19,560 --> 01:10:26,320
But you also notice above you that there is a luminous red cross that is shimmering and

1043
01:10:26,320 --> 01:10:30,880
rippling across the sky, almost mesmerically.

1044
01:10:30,880 --> 01:10:36,240
And Beyondard says, clap now, you fools, clap, clap.

1045
01:10:36,240 --> 01:10:41,000
The biggest mistake you can make with the Northern Lights is to wave or sing or whistle

1046
01:10:41,000 --> 01:10:42,000
at them.

1047
01:10:42,000 --> 01:10:45,640
Tell them you are here and the spirits of the lights will come and slice off your head.

1048
01:10:45,640 --> 01:10:47,920
But clap your hands and you'll be safe.

1049
01:10:47,920 --> 01:10:52,020
The only reason to whistle is to encourage them to come closer, to give them messages

1050
01:10:52,020 --> 01:10:53,680
to take to the dead.

1051
01:10:53,680 --> 01:10:59,520
Although perhaps you already know that since you are spirits from beyond.

1052
01:10:59,520 --> 01:11:02,560
Have I ever heard of this clapping at the Northern Lights thing?

1053
01:11:02,560 --> 01:11:13,200
It's clearly superstitious, but most Northerners do believe that the Northern Lights are either

1054
01:11:13,200 --> 01:11:22,440
the kind of shimmering reflection of Valkyrie's armour or Odin sending a message.

1055
01:11:22,440 --> 01:11:27,240
There are some scientists who know exactly what they are in terms of charged particles

1056
01:11:27,240 --> 01:11:31,760
raining through the atmosphere, but most ordinary people would believe something a bit more

1057
01:11:31,760 --> 01:11:34,200
spiritual.

1058
01:11:34,200 --> 01:11:35,640
Is he clapping really loud?

1059
01:11:35,640 --> 01:11:40,520
He is clapping really loudly and he's insisting that you all do that as well.

1060
01:11:40,520 --> 01:11:41,520
I will also clap.

1061
01:11:41,520 --> 01:11:42,640
I will clap along with him.

1062
01:11:42,640 --> 01:11:43,640
Almost as loud.

1063
01:11:43,640 --> 01:11:48,520
I don't have arms, I believe, so I'm blinking really fast.

1064
01:11:48,520 --> 01:11:54,400
I'm a bit of a jazzy guy, so I snap.

1065
01:11:54,400 --> 01:11:55,400
Jazz hands.

1066
01:11:55,400 --> 01:11:56,400
Jazz hands.

1067
01:11:56,400 --> 01:11:57,400
Very well.

1068
01:11:57,400 --> 01:12:07,000
Bjarni says, what precautions have you made for when we make camp this evening?

1069
01:12:07,000 --> 01:12:09,920
Have you brought wire?

1070
01:12:09,920 --> 01:12:13,680
Have you brought flares?

1071
01:12:13,680 --> 01:12:17,960
Where would you set up camp?

1072
01:12:17,960 --> 01:12:20,640
I had believed we would simply continue.

1073
01:12:20,640 --> 01:12:22,120
I am still full of energy.

1074
01:12:22,120 --> 01:12:24,480
Is there a problem?

1075
01:12:24,480 --> 01:12:27,040
I don't think so.

1076
01:12:27,040 --> 01:12:30,560
He's riding the skadooch, right?

1077
01:12:30,560 --> 01:12:31,840
I'm good to keep going.

1078
01:12:31,840 --> 01:12:32,840
I'm feeling good.

1079
01:12:32,840 --> 01:12:34,160
I had a Red Bull a couple of hours ago.

1080
01:12:34,160 --> 01:12:41,760
You wake the tin of things that people eat.

1081
01:12:41,760 --> 01:12:45,360
I understand these things.

1082
01:12:45,360 --> 01:12:48,480
So can we just keep moving, Oldman?

1083
01:12:48,480 --> 01:12:49,880
If he wants to rest, that's fine.

1084
01:12:49,880 --> 01:12:52,320
You should go sleep away.

1085
01:12:52,320 --> 01:12:55,000
Sit on the droid and quietly drool.

1086
01:12:55,000 --> 01:12:57,760
Drool away.

1087
01:12:57,760 --> 01:12:58,760
Very well.

1088
01:12:58,760 --> 01:13:03,960
He's quite content to just ride on the tractor vehicle while the rest of you trudge through

1089
01:13:03,960 --> 01:13:09,840
the boggy tundra and make your way along the coastline.

1090
01:13:09,840 --> 01:13:18,800
He was perhaps hoping to impart more wisdom, but the motion of riding on the back of the

1091
01:13:18,800 --> 01:13:24,720
iceberg is most soothing to this ailing man.

1092
01:13:24,720 --> 01:13:28,280
As a recreational model, can I do anything to help him relax?

1093
01:13:28,280 --> 01:13:29,280
Oh no.

1094
01:13:29,280 --> 01:13:30,280
Oh no.

1095
01:13:30,280 --> 01:13:31,280
You got jacuzzi mode?

1096
01:13:31,280 --> 01:13:32,280
Did you say he's got a jacuzzi?

1097
01:13:32,280 --> 01:13:33,280
A built-in jacuzzi.

1098
01:13:33,280 --> 01:13:34,280
Yeah, he's got jacuzzi mode.

1099
01:13:34,280 --> 01:13:35,280
Yeah.

1100
01:13:35,280 --> 01:13:38,280
Well, you need to become a vibrating bed, basically.

1101
01:13:38,280 --> 01:13:42,280
You might be able to squirt some bubbles, but...

1102
01:13:42,280 --> 01:13:43,280
Bubble party.

1103
01:13:43,280 --> 01:13:44,280
I don't know if you can hear me.

1104
01:13:44,280 --> 01:13:51,280
That must be slot six, then.

1105
01:13:51,280 --> 01:13:56,000
There's an expansion port, I think.

1106
01:13:56,000 --> 01:13:59,880
So it sounded like maybe there was more wisdom to be had.

1107
01:13:59,880 --> 01:14:02,960
Maybe he was going to impart some more...

1108
01:14:02,960 --> 01:14:03,960
Yeah.

1109
01:14:03,960 --> 01:14:06,600
...rudes on us.

1110
01:14:06,600 --> 01:14:10,440
But he might not last if we make camp, you know what I mean?

1111
01:14:10,440 --> 01:14:11,440
Rhymes of the essence.

1112
01:14:11,440 --> 01:14:15,560
So we've got to kind of...maybe we'll let him drool a bit, then in a little bit we'll

1113
01:14:15,560 --> 01:14:19,400
wake him up and we'll say, hey man, you got anything else to say before you kick it?

1114
01:14:19,400 --> 01:14:21,600
What wisdom would you impart to spirits?

1115
01:14:21,600 --> 01:14:27,680
He says, I can't believe I'm riding a chariot.

1116
01:14:27,680 --> 01:14:31,320
Worm food for worm food.

1117
01:14:31,320 --> 01:14:40,800
And you recall that in Norse myth, the Dvirga were born out of the body of a primordial

1118
01:14:40,800 --> 01:14:46,160
god, Ymir, and the Dvirga were maggots that reaved in his body.

1119
01:14:46,160 --> 01:14:51,680
And so he's using a kind of common pejorative for Dvirg by calling you worm food.

1120
01:14:51,680 --> 01:14:53,800
That's no way to address your chariot.

1121
01:14:53,800 --> 01:14:54,800
Yeah, are you okay?

1122
01:14:54,800 --> 01:14:55,800
It looks kind of hurtful.

1123
01:14:55,800 --> 01:15:03,440
You get the impression that he's a man of the wild, perhaps he would be a redneck in

1124
01:15:03,440 --> 01:15:04,440
our universe.

1125
01:15:04,440 --> 01:15:07,160
And he's not full of airs and graces.

1126
01:15:07,160 --> 01:15:09,160
He's a little bit racist.

1127
01:15:09,160 --> 01:15:12,200
That's just a little bit, right?

1128
01:15:12,200 --> 01:15:13,200
Just a little.

1129
01:15:13,200 --> 01:15:20,640
I purposely, next when we see a rougher patch of ice on the trail, I weave off into it

1130
01:15:20,640 --> 01:15:23,520
and make it really bumpy to kind of get back at him.

1131
01:15:23,520 --> 01:15:25,520
At least you're not petty.

1132
01:15:25,520 --> 01:15:29,200
That is the wrong way.

1133
01:15:29,200 --> 01:15:31,280
You're going off the path for no reason.

1134
01:15:31,280 --> 01:15:41,680
And now up ahead, you can see a cresting hill with all kinds of scaffolding around it, the

1135
01:15:41,680 --> 01:15:46,640
construction that litters around a mine shaft.

1136
01:15:46,640 --> 01:15:51,800
As you approach, you can see a huge water pump outside.

1137
01:15:51,800 --> 01:15:59,800
And as you come within earshot and hear the chugging of this thing sucking out the what

1138
01:15:59,800 --> 01:16:06,960
presumably is melt water from the mine shaft, you see that it starts to clog and chokes

1139
01:16:06,960 --> 01:16:08,600
to a halt.

1140
01:16:08,600 --> 01:16:15,500
And so almost serendipitously, the water pump has ceased working as you pass by.

1141
01:16:15,500 --> 01:16:18,760
There is no signs of life if there is anything.

1142
01:16:18,760 --> 01:16:22,520
It's inside the mine shaft itself.

1143
01:16:22,520 --> 01:16:32,560
But the honored is coughing up a lung and says, welcome, we've got a date with destiny.

1144
01:16:32,560 --> 01:16:33,560
Move along.

1145
01:16:33,560 --> 01:16:36,080
How far from the coast are we?

1146
01:16:36,080 --> 01:16:40,960
If we keep moving at this speed, a couple hours, half a day?

1147
01:16:40,960 --> 01:16:47,640
Yeah, you know, you've probably been meandering for a couple of hours that the mines aren't

1148
01:16:47,640 --> 01:16:53,240
too far from town because the miners have to get there.

1149
01:16:53,240 --> 01:17:02,000
So you're probably a quarter of your way all the way to the atmosphere itself.

1150
01:17:02,000 --> 01:17:04,640
So OK, so we're coming up.

1151
01:17:04,640 --> 01:17:08,600
We're coming up here to a mine, right?

1152
01:17:08,600 --> 01:17:13,640
Yeah, coming up to a mine, mine in the hill, hillside.

1153
01:17:13,640 --> 01:17:20,320
The water pump that takes the extracts the water, the melt water that's running off the

1154
01:17:20,320 --> 01:17:28,120
tundra and going into the mine shaft that has ceased to operate as you passed.

1155
01:17:28,120 --> 01:17:35,300
Any anything to identify the like identify the mine or ownership thereof or any signs

1156
01:17:35,300 --> 01:17:39,280
that there might be anyone in it doing work?

1157
01:17:39,280 --> 01:17:48,760
The only sign that anything is going on you can hear is the kind of distant echo of mining

1158
01:17:48,760 --> 01:17:52,880
song sung in double to work.

1159
01:17:52,880 --> 01:17:58,080
So you don't necessarily know what it means, but let's go.

1160
01:17:58,080 --> 01:18:01,080
You know that it sounds like hi-ho hi-ho.

1161
01:18:01,080 --> 01:18:02,080
Hi-ho, yeah.

1162
01:18:02,080 --> 01:18:03,080
Very good.

1163
01:18:03,080 --> 01:18:10,680
And you also see a second sign, just the numeral seven.

1164
01:18:10,680 --> 01:18:12,680
Seven, OK.

1165
01:18:12,680 --> 01:18:15,480
Is that double Dverg for something?

1166
01:18:15,480 --> 01:18:17,320
Nope, nope.

1167
01:18:17,320 --> 01:18:22,760
It's the mines are presumably owned by anyone other than the Dverg.

1168
01:18:22,760 --> 01:18:29,520
The Dverg tend to be thralls or servitors in the service of humanity and do all of the

1169
01:18:29,520 --> 01:18:30,520
dirty jobs.

1170
01:18:30,520 --> 01:18:36,320
We won't speculate on what dirty jobs you've been up to.

1171
01:18:36,320 --> 01:18:40,720
Well isn't it a job if you love it though?

1172
01:18:40,720 --> 01:18:44,120
Yeah it's a vocation.

1173
01:18:44,120 --> 01:18:46,120
A hobby.

1174
01:18:46,120 --> 01:18:49,640
Does any of us know anything about machinery?

1175
01:18:49,640 --> 01:18:57,280
Like I know a little bit about machines, but very fine machines, not great big pumps.

1176
01:18:57,280 --> 01:19:02,160
Is there anything around that seems like we could communicate with the people down below?

1177
01:19:02,160 --> 01:19:04,160
The Dverg in the mine?

1178
01:19:04,160 --> 01:19:06,160
Communicate with them?

1179
01:19:06,160 --> 01:19:07,920
Yeah.

1180
01:19:07,920 --> 01:19:16,960
It's well known that like matches likes and the clockwork to look at the clockwork.

1181
01:19:16,960 --> 01:19:18,560
So yes it is a mine shaft.

1182
01:19:18,560 --> 01:19:22,440
You would have to enter the mine shaft and kind of go, hello?

1183
01:19:22,440 --> 01:19:26,760
OK so I dump, I dump, burn it off.

1184
01:19:26,760 --> 01:19:29,400
You dump, you dump, Johnny.

1185
01:19:29,400 --> 01:19:32,080
There is an awful sickening sun.

1186
01:19:32,080 --> 01:19:33,080
Oh dear.

1187
01:19:33,080 --> 01:19:36,680
And then I go to the mine shaft.

1188
01:19:36,680 --> 01:19:39,520
Dude what's with the dump?

1189
01:19:39,520 --> 01:19:44,240
I yell and double the Dverg.

1190
01:19:44,240 --> 01:19:51,240
Which of course means, can anyone help me carry to the sky so we can go a little faster?

1191
01:19:51,240 --> 01:19:53,600
I'll carry Bernie for now.

1192
01:19:53,600 --> 01:19:55,800
Yeah you're strong.

1193
01:19:55,800 --> 01:20:04,040
He's being conveyed by the spirits though.

1194
01:20:04,040 --> 01:20:05,440
I mean I think it's good.

1195
01:20:05,440 --> 01:20:07,680
I think it would be quite an honor for him.

1196
01:20:07,680 --> 01:20:10,560
He may think otherwise.

1197
01:20:10,560 --> 01:20:12,480
He probably thinks otherwise.

1198
01:20:12,480 --> 01:20:19,440
No one has any kind of mining background or industrial background or anything that's practically

1199
01:20:19,440 --> 01:20:22,760
useful in this kind of environment.

1200
01:20:22,760 --> 01:20:24,880
I have studied medicine.

1201
01:20:24,880 --> 01:20:31,680
I have worked as a reef for clerical functions back in the grove.

1202
01:20:31,680 --> 01:20:37,520
Unfortunately there are no herbs or herbs in this environment.

1203
01:20:37,520 --> 01:20:43,280
And I am an expert at military analysis.

1204
01:20:43,280 --> 01:20:50,160
I've dabbled as a gunsmith in the past but that's very fine work compared to a bloody

1205
01:20:50,160 --> 01:20:51,160
great pump.

1206
01:20:51,160 --> 01:20:54,240
He continues to puff himself up the creature.

1207
01:20:54,240 --> 01:20:58,400
No Norse plumbers then?

1208
01:20:58,400 --> 01:21:02,240
When you rolled up your characters you didn't go for plumbing?

1209
01:21:02,240 --> 01:21:03,240
Strangely.

1210
01:21:03,240 --> 01:21:11,080
I wish at a minimum yell down that their pump is broken.

1211
01:21:11,080 --> 01:21:14,080
You yell down and I think...

1212
01:21:14,080 --> 01:21:18,480
I'm throwing it out as an option if someone has a better one.

1213
01:21:18,480 --> 01:21:22,360
It's a good idea for an abomination.

1214
01:21:22,360 --> 01:21:24,800
Ok so why don't we...

1215
01:21:24,800 --> 01:21:29,680
Well then I guess Lomi's gonna have to say it right?

1216
01:21:29,680 --> 01:21:31,800
If you speak whatever it is they're saying.

1217
01:21:31,800 --> 01:21:34,480
Hey fellas, your pump is broken.

1218
01:21:34,480 --> 01:21:37,320
Do you have a torch or something?

1219
01:21:37,320 --> 01:21:38,480
It's probably ice.

1220
01:21:38,480 --> 01:21:41,040
I mean frozen wasteland.

1221
01:21:41,040 --> 01:21:42,040
Hello!

1222
01:21:42,040 --> 01:21:49,000
You have come to our assistance as is very kind of you brother.

1223
01:21:49,000 --> 01:21:51,640
Oh traditional kiss perhaps?

1224
01:21:51,640 --> 01:21:57,560
Oh we would love a traditional kiss.

1225
01:21:57,560 --> 01:22:05,160
Can we possibly engage in a hug and a mutual exchange of data?

1226
01:22:05,160 --> 01:22:08,080
Yeah, let's do it.

1227
01:22:08,080 --> 01:22:12,000
Oh it is very intoxicating to meet you.

1228
01:22:12,000 --> 01:22:13,320
What model are you?

1229
01:22:13,320 --> 01:22:16,720
I am a build by Sterkers Systems.

1230
01:22:16,720 --> 01:22:22,360
My name is Wet Clit and this is my buddy the Bitcraft.

1231
01:22:22,360 --> 01:22:28,640
Oh, Wet Clit and Bitcraft.

1232
01:22:28,640 --> 01:22:30,440
Yes that is our names.

1233
01:22:30,440 --> 01:22:34,120
They are not very funny.

1234
01:22:34,120 --> 01:22:35,120
Of course not.

1235
01:22:35,120 --> 01:22:40,120
And what has happened we have clogged and choked the pump.

1236
01:22:40,120 --> 01:22:42,560
We must alleviate the pumping.

1237
01:22:42,560 --> 01:22:45,840
This is a pump station.

1238
01:22:45,840 --> 01:22:47,640
What's with more pumping?

1239
01:22:47,640 --> 01:22:50,640
Where's the water coming from?

1240
01:22:50,640 --> 01:22:52,320
It is coming from the glacier.

1241
01:22:52,320 --> 01:22:55,040
The melt water penetrates through the rocks.

1242
01:22:55,040 --> 01:22:56,920
It is very penetrating.

1243
01:22:56,920 --> 01:22:59,040
If I could blush.

1244
01:22:59,040 --> 01:23:03,040
So, so are you going to fix this pump?

1245
01:23:03,040 --> 01:23:04,040
Is this pump?

1246
01:23:04,040 --> 01:23:09,080
Yes, it is great that you warned us that we were fixing the pump and now mine number seven

1247
01:23:09,080 --> 01:23:16,680
is safe and will be able to deliver its real value back to the Winterwise.

1248
01:23:16,680 --> 01:23:20,280
Oh Winterwise.

1249
01:23:20,280 --> 01:23:23,400
I would like to meet the Winterwise.

1250
01:23:23,400 --> 01:23:31,080
Yes, the Firefox Institute is the beneficiary of all of our activity here.

1251
01:23:31,080 --> 01:23:32,860
But I cannot say much more.

1252
01:23:32,860 --> 01:23:37,000
You must meet the Lector himself.

1253
01:23:37,000 --> 01:23:44,400
We must return to Web and we are extremely grateful for your prompt warning.

1254
01:23:44,400 --> 01:23:48,160
No problem, I love you.

1255
01:23:48,160 --> 01:23:50,360
I love you.

1256
01:23:50,360 --> 01:23:51,360
Wow.

1257
01:23:51,360 --> 01:23:52,360
How heartwarming.

1258
01:23:52,360 --> 01:23:53,360
Yeah.

1259
01:23:53,360 --> 01:23:57,480
Should we ask for a reward maybe for warning?

1260
01:23:57,480 --> 01:24:01,040
Hey, can we get something for helping you out?

1261
01:24:01,040 --> 01:24:05,120
You have my dying affection and love.

1262
01:24:05,120 --> 01:24:07,160
I'm satisfied.

1263
01:24:07,160 --> 01:24:08,160
Okay.

1264
01:24:08,160 --> 01:24:13,400
These two call on us again if you need any help.

1265
01:24:13,400 --> 01:24:18,320
We seven dwarves are very happy to assist.

1266
01:24:18,320 --> 01:24:21,400
If I was one of these dwarves I'd be slurpy.

1267
01:24:21,400 --> 01:24:22,400
Okay.

1268
01:24:22,400 --> 01:24:23,400
Possibly.

1269
01:24:23,400 --> 01:24:27,880
And I think, has anyone checked on the Beannis?

1270
01:24:27,880 --> 01:24:29,440
I'm still holding him.

1271
01:24:29,440 --> 01:24:30,440
You're holding him?

1272
01:24:30,440 --> 01:24:32,880
Oh thank God someone was holding him.

1273
01:24:32,880 --> 01:24:36,720
Can we just get out of here?

1274
01:24:36,720 --> 01:24:37,720
This is weird.

1275
01:24:37,720 --> 01:24:39,920
Has the mink bag expired yet?

1276
01:24:39,920 --> 01:24:42,320
Can we throw him somewhere?

1277
01:24:42,320 --> 01:24:44,120
We're still not out of the city limits.

1278
01:24:44,120 --> 01:24:45,120
Yeah.

1279
01:24:45,120 --> 01:24:48,560
Well, no, you're right on the outs.

1280
01:24:48,560 --> 01:24:49,560
Okay.

1281
01:24:49,560 --> 01:24:53,680
Because you've got a couple of hours walk out.

1282
01:24:53,680 --> 01:24:57,520
People don't want a mine right on their doorstep but like I said, it can't be too far away

1283
01:24:57,520 --> 01:25:00,440
because otherwise people couldn't get there.

1284
01:25:00,440 --> 01:25:06,520
So it would be a pain to commute even for a diver.

1285
01:25:06,520 --> 01:25:11,160
But people, so if people die in this area is that no good still because it's too close?

1286
01:25:11,160 --> 01:25:15,000
Close to the city?

1287
01:25:15,000 --> 01:25:19,200
Yeah generally speaking you need to chuck people off.

1288
01:25:19,200 --> 01:25:26,320
Anywhere where you leave Harkis's you attract unwanted attention.

1289
01:25:26,320 --> 01:25:29,320
Now let's keep going with the original.

1290
01:25:29,320 --> 01:25:35,280
I know fellows we have only spent a few hours together but I have an observation to share.

1291
01:25:35,280 --> 01:25:36,360
Oh yeah.

1292
01:25:36,360 --> 01:25:42,400
And in all honesty I feel that as a group you are entirely tiresome.

1293
01:25:42,400 --> 01:25:45,760
Can we please keep moving?

1294
01:25:45,760 --> 01:25:46,760
Yeah let's go.

1295
01:25:46,760 --> 01:25:47,760
Ever onward.

1296
01:25:47,760 --> 01:25:48,760
All right.

1297
01:25:48,760 --> 01:25:51,760
The walk is tiresome.

1298
01:25:51,760 --> 01:25:53,440
Here isn't it?

1299
01:25:53,440 --> 01:26:04,440
Bjarne is feverish and occasionally he does look in the direction of air and say, Devil

1300
01:26:04,440 --> 01:26:13,160
priest, devil priest, your people ruined my life.

1301
01:26:13,160 --> 01:26:17,640
The diamonds, the diamonds.

1302
01:26:17,640 --> 01:26:18,920
What about these diamonds?

1303
01:26:18,920 --> 01:26:21,920
Who is the devil?

1304
01:26:21,920 --> 01:26:29,680
He's not conscious enough to encompass mentors enough to engage in conversation.

1305
01:26:29,680 --> 01:26:37,280
He's just obviously triggered by your black visage etched with copper as it is.

1306
01:26:37,280 --> 01:26:40,360
Golden of gold.

1307
01:26:40,360 --> 01:26:43,280
I will return him to his chariot if the chariot's willing.

1308
01:26:43,280 --> 01:26:50,200
Yeah well I realized my profession is in trade and I was a wagoneer.

1309
01:26:50,200 --> 01:26:53,160
So it's all a part for the course.

1310
01:26:53,160 --> 01:26:54,160
People ride.

1311
01:26:54,160 --> 01:26:57,960
Is wagoneering like twerking?

1312
01:26:57,960 --> 01:26:59,040
It's a euphemism.

1313
01:26:59,040 --> 01:27:01,600
More so yeah people do be riding me.

1314
01:27:01,600 --> 01:27:04,440
It's all about shaking the caboose.

1315
01:27:04,440 --> 01:27:07,200
How many can you fit on that old thing?

1316
01:27:07,200 --> 01:27:10,040
Depends on if slot seven's operating or not.

1317
01:27:10,040 --> 01:27:11,040
That one's fussy.

1318
01:27:11,040 --> 01:27:12,040
Okay.

1319
01:27:12,040 --> 01:27:14,360
Let me know if I can take her for a ride.

1320
01:27:14,360 --> 01:27:16,200
Let me just get a ride somewhere.

1321
01:27:16,200 --> 01:27:24,320
Now I'm going to ask you all now for an awareness roll because in the midst of your discussions

1322
01:27:24,320 --> 01:27:28,800
about the vagaries of wagoneering there is something you might notice.

1323
01:27:28,800 --> 01:27:31,040
You have awareness as it starts.

1324
01:27:31,040 --> 01:27:33,840
You're going to roll a challenge roll.

1325
01:27:33,840 --> 01:27:36,500
You're going to aim for ten or more.

1326
01:27:36,500 --> 01:27:41,760
You have a modifier against your awareness which should be somewhere between zero and

1327
01:27:41,760 --> 01:27:42,760
three I imagine.

1328
01:27:42,760 --> 01:27:44,840
And let me know what you get.

1329
01:27:44,840 --> 01:27:49,440
I rolled a natural 20 and a plus one.

1330
01:27:49,440 --> 01:27:51,720
Mine adds up to ten.

1331
01:27:51,720 --> 01:28:01,160
As one you all crank and crane your necks noticing on the bluff of the hill a stalking

1332
01:28:01,160 --> 01:28:05,480
ispion prowling at long range.

1333
01:28:05,480 --> 01:28:13,400
I'm also going to ask you for a wits challenge roll.

1334
01:28:13,400 --> 01:28:15,080
Okay.

1335
01:28:15,080 --> 01:28:23,080
I'm sure one of you will make the astute observation that comes from this.

1336
01:28:23,080 --> 01:28:24,080
13.

1337
01:28:24,080 --> 01:28:28,200
I got a 13 when I added the first one.

1338
01:28:28,200 --> 01:28:29,200
Yep.

1339
01:28:29,200 --> 01:28:30,200
Same with me.

1340
01:28:30,200 --> 01:28:31,200
Okay.

1341
01:28:31,200 --> 01:28:38,120
Then I'm going to reveal to you that it's clear that the bear has followed you from

1342
01:28:38,120 --> 01:28:41,360
the direction of town from Hapmaca.

1343
01:28:41,360 --> 01:28:49,680
It looks perhaps like it has trailed or tracked you, followed your various odors, but it's

1344
01:28:49,680 --> 01:28:51,440
come from the direction of town.

1345
01:28:51,440 --> 01:28:56,800
And you also notice that the bear has a broken harness.

1346
01:28:56,800 --> 01:29:02,480
So while it took some skill to spot that, it doesn't take any skill to realize that

1347
01:29:02,480 --> 01:29:06,480
the bear is emaciated and probably quite hungry.

1348
01:29:06,480 --> 01:29:14,440
Yes, it would be disrespectful if we didn't throw the entire burning off the cliff.

1349
01:29:14,440 --> 01:29:18,640
I think the horse gelder told us a story earlier that might be helpful here.

1350
01:29:18,640 --> 01:29:21,520
Wait, we cut his balls?

1351
01:29:21,520 --> 01:29:25,840
We cut his nuts and feed them to the bear as a trove.

1352
01:29:25,840 --> 01:29:30,400
He had two birds with two stones.

1353
01:29:30,400 --> 01:29:31,400
Hey!

1354
01:29:31,400 --> 01:29:32,400
What?

1355
01:29:32,400 --> 01:29:34,880
I'm so sorry.

1356
01:29:34,880 --> 01:29:35,880
We can't do that, right?

1357
01:29:35,880 --> 01:29:36,880
We can't do that to him.

1358
01:29:36,880 --> 01:29:37,880
No.

1359
01:29:37,880 --> 01:29:38,880
Wouldn't be right.

1360
01:29:38,880 --> 01:29:40,960
No, wouldn't be right.

1361
01:29:40,960 --> 01:29:44,280
So maybe we should, can we just, well, here's a question.

1362
01:29:44,280 --> 01:29:47,440
How fast does little Moto go here?

1363
01:29:47,440 --> 01:29:50,680
Oh, I have an answer to that.

1364
01:29:50,680 --> 01:29:53,120
Yeah, legs go how fast we move him.

1365
01:29:53,120 --> 01:29:54,920
My speed is eight.

1366
01:29:54,920 --> 01:30:00,440
Yeah, the challenge with Dverg is whilst, you know, again, they're not dwarves, they

1367
01:30:00,440 --> 01:30:02,000
don't have stumpy legs.

1368
01:30:02,000 --> 01:30:07,200
You know, spiritually, they have stumpy legs and they go only four fifths the speed of

1369
01:30:07,200 --> 01:30:08,520
most other origins.

1370
01:30:08,520 --> 01:30:09,880
Yeah, my speed.

1371
01:30:09,880 --> 01:30:12,640
He's not going fast.

1372
01:30:12,640 --> 01:30:17,760
He's kind of, I don't know what appropriate cars you have in North America where you have

1373
01:30:17,760 --> 01:30:21,120
the kind of Czech Skoda, something like that.

1374
01:30:21,120 --> 01:30:23,080
It's kind of, it kind of.

1375
01:30:23,080 --> 01:30:24,080
You go.

1376
01:30:24,080 --> 01:30:25,080
He's not speeding.

1377
01:30:25,080 --> 01:30:26,080
Like a Segway.

1378
01:30:26,080 --> 01:30:27,080
Yeah, like a Segway.

1379
01:30:27,080 --> 01:30:28,080
Yeah.

1380
01:30:28,080 --> 01:30:32,360
Older model.

1381
01:30:32,360 --> 01:30:35,360
Yeah.

1382
01:30:35,360 --> 01:30:40,440
Remember you were lovingly put together back by enthusiasts, weren't you?

1383
01:30:40,440 --> 01:30:43,640
So you're not even off the factory line.

1384
01:30:43,640 --> 01:30:47,680
You're just, you're like a model version of a Segway.

1385
01:30:47,680 --> 01:30:51,640
He's a homebrew.

1386
01:30:51,640 --> 01:30:53,440
So we can't really fight this thing, right?

1387
01:30:53,440 --> 01:30:54,760
I mean, he's still far off.

1388
01:30:54,760 --> 01:30:55,760
He's still far off.

1389
01:30:55,760 --> 01:30:56,760
Why don't we?

1390
01:30:56,760 --> 01:31:00,200
We shouldn't hurt him at an impressive speed.

1391
01:31:00,200 --> 01:31:02,480
It is like an oncoming storm.

1392
01:31:02,480 --> 01:31:04,840
Where's the mine is the mine close by?

1393
01:31:04,840 --> 01:31:08,280
Oh, it's cutting you off from the mine and you'd you'd gone.

1394
01:31:08,280 --> 01:31:09,280
You'd gone past that.

1395
01:31:09,280 --> 01:31:12,280
Oh, we got way past.

1396
01:31:12,280 --> 01:31:23,000
This beast is about one and a half times taller than even your barely human relief there and

1397
01:31:23,000 --> 01:31:27,600
over five times heavier when it stands on its hind legs.

1398
01:31:27,600 --> 01:31:33,440
It is over 10 feet tall, three meters tall towering above you.

1399
01:31:33,440 --> 01:31:35,120
A prior warning shot.

1400
01:31:35,120 --> 01:31:37,200
What food do we have feed it?

1401
01:31:37,200 --> 01:31:38,200
It's a pet.

1402
01:31:38,200 --> 01:31:39,200
Clearly it belongs to someone.

1403
01:31:39,200 --> 01:31:40,200
It has a harness.

1404
01:31:40,200 --> 01:31:43,120
It has a harness, you said?

1405
01:31:43,120 --> 01:31:44,120
That's what we noticed.

1406
01:31:44,120 --> 01:31:46,120
We noticed the harness.

1407
01:31:46,120 --> 01:31:48,440
Meatbags have such short attention.

1408
01:31:48,440 --> 01:31:53,360
I maybe save the warning shot unless it becomes aggressive and gets too close.

1409
01:31:53,360 --> 01:31:54,360
All right.

1410
01:31:54,360 --> 01:31:55,360
All right.

1411
01:31:55,360 --> 01:31:56,360
It's barely in the words, but all right.

1412
01:31:56,360 --> 01:31:59,360
I say he'll he'll try and tame it.

1413
01:31:59,360 --> 01:32:03,440
He'll feel had some bread.

1414
01:32:03,440 --> 01:32:06,080
Oh my God.

1415
01:32:06,080 --> 01:32:07,080
What?

1416
01:32:07,080 --> 01:32:12,920
And he picked up your sentence following you down, followed you down to the sea.

1417
01:32:12,920 --> 01:32:14,520
It is moving beans.

1418
01:32:14,520 --> 01:32:15,520
I got beans.

1419
01:32:15,520 --> 01:32:18,520
It is actively crushingly quick.

1420
01:32:18,520 --> 01:32:19,520
Really?

1421
01:32:19,520 --> 01:32:20,520
For its kill.

1422
01:32:20,520 --> 01:32:22,920
Yeah, it is down.

1423
01:32:22,920 --> 01:32:25,720
It is pinned back.

1424
01:32:25,720 --> 01:32:29,020
I threw the bread and guys, we got to run.

1425
01:32:29,020 --> 01:32:32,020
You threw the bread.

1426
01:32:32,020 --> 01:32:37,320
I'm sorry.

1427
01:32:37,320 --> 01:32:40,040
This is when the wolf comes a game of heroic Viking.

1428
01:32:40,040 --> 01:32:43,640
I know you just threw some bread.

1429
01:32:43,640 --> 01:32:48,120
Is that what they taught you in the army meat bag?

1430
01:32:48,120 --> 01:32:51,040
I threw the bread and I was like.

1431
01:32:51,040 --> 01:32:53,960
And we started getting out of here.

1432
01:32:53,960 --> 01:32:57,040
So it's a carnivore and one of us is made of meat.

1433
01:32:57,040 --> 01:33:00,320
No, two.

1434
01:33:00,320 --> 01:33:01,640
We still have B.R.N.E.

1435
01:33:01,640 --> 01:33:02,640
B.R.N.E.

1436
01:33:02,640 --> 01:33:03,640
B.R.N.E.

1437
01:33:03,640 --> 01:33:04,640
B.R.N.E.

1438
01:33:04,640 --> 01:33:07,640
However, this beast is right.

1439
01:33:07,640 --> 01:33:11,680
Within the rules, you must all make a will check.

1440
01:33:11,680 --> 01:33:14,180
So let's go sequentially because this is an important one.

1441
01:33:14,180 --> 01:33:16,960
So we will start with Bill.

1442
01:33:16,960 --> 01:33:20,040
Give me a will check.

1443
01:33:20,040 --> 01:33:22,640
I got a minus one.

1444
01:33:22,640 --> 01:33:23,960
So I rolled a 10.

1445
01:33:23,960 --> 01:33:26,200
So I got a nine.

1446
01:33:26,200 --> 01:33:34,000
Which means that you are unfortunately quivering in your, not in your boots, but in your boots.

1447
01:33:34,000 --> 01:33:35,000
In my boots.

1448
01:33:35,000 --> 01:33:36,000
Well, that's very nice.

1449
01:33:36,000 --> 01:33:37,000
Word play.

1450
01:33:37,000 --> 01:33:39,760
Word play a perilous moment.

1451
01:33:39,760 --> 01:33:41,800
And my bark is worse than my bite.

1452
01:33:41,800 --> 01:33:49,760
So anything that you do following, you are going to do with rewos attached to the dice

1453
01:33:49,760 --> 01:33:54,200
that will go sequentially around the same order as we were doing the intros.

1454
01:33:54,200 --> 01:33:57,280
So Steve, would you please make the will.

1455
01:33:57,280 --> 01:33:58,280
Will safe.

1456
01:33:58,280 --> 01:33:59,280
Okay.

1457
01:33:59,280 --> 01:34:00,280
I'm.

1458
01:34:00,280 --> 01:34:01,280
Okay.

1459
01:34:01,280 --> 01:34:02,280
Oh, five.

1460
01:34:02,280 --> 01:34:03,280
Wow.

1461
01:34:03,280 --> 01:34:06,800
I chose a poor color of dice.

1462
01:34:06,800 --> 01:34:14,200
So the spirits of ancient warriors entombed in their new bodies are both entirely useless.

1463
01:34:14,200 --> 01:34:22,440
Obviously, obviously the specter of death came to you once and you didn't hear done

1464
01:34:22,440 --> 01:34:23,440
this.

1465
01:34:23,440 --> 01:34:24,440
Yeah.

1466
01:34:24,440 --> 01:34:25,440
Been here done this.

1467
01:34:25,440 --> 01:34:26,440
Okay.

1468
01:34:26,440 --> 01:34:27,440
And the Wagoneer.

1469
01:34:27,440 --> 01:34:30,440
Oh my god.

1470
01:34:30,440 --> 01:34:36,720
I don't have, it's a plus zero for me.

1471
01:34:36,720 --> 01:34:39,680
How heroic we are.

1472
01:34:39,680 --> 01:34:49,440
So the non human contingent, the non human contingent are not doing much.

1473
01:34:49,440 --> 01:34:52,760
And so Jason, it's down to you and her leaf.

1474
01:34:52,760 --> 01:34:57,360
To be fair, the robot is a lover, not a fighter.

1475
01:34:57,360 --> 01:34:58,360
True.

1476
01:34:58,360 --> 01:34:59,360
True.

1477
01:34:59,360 --> 01:35:00,360
I rolled a seven.

1478
01:35:00,360 --> 01:35:01,360
Good.

1479
01:35:01,360 --> 01:35:14,680
So as this monstrous beast roars towards you, flailing paws and snarling spittle as it barrels

1480
01:35:14,680 --> 01:35:22,560
down, you can almost feel the fishy breath as it picks up speed.

1481
01:35:22,560 --> 01:35:28,720
All of you managed to effectively or proverbially piss your vows.

1482
01:35:28,720 --> 01:35:31,920
Ragnar Lothbrok, hairy breaches would be proud.

1483
01:35:31,920 --> 01:35:35,640
You can just all rechristen yourself busy breaches.

1484
01:35:35,640 --> 01:35:38,480
Now we will be entering combat shortly.

1485
01:35:38,480 --> 01:35:43,600
So combat involves you deciding whether you want to take a fast turn or a slow turn.

1486
01:35:43,600 --> 01:35:48,400
If you take a fast turn, you can either move or take an action slow turn.

1487
01:35:48,400 --> 01:35:49,720
You can do both.

1488
01:35:49,720 --> 01:35:56,880
So it rather depends on what the enemy is doing as the sequence of events, but you should

1489
01:35:56,880 --> 01:36:02,800
perhaps confer amongst yourselves as to what the appropriate thing to do.

1490
01:36:02,800 --> 01:36:11,320
The army is bolt upright and fumbling around his body like patting himself down and going,

1491
01:36:11,320 --> 01:36:15,560
God's man, where are the flares?

1492
01:36:15,560 --> 01:36:19,960
Yeah, we were underprepared here.

1493
01:36:19,960 --> 01:36:21,440
You didn't say anything about flares.

1494
01:36:21,440 --> 01:36:24,360
No one said anything.

1495
01:36:24,360 --> 01:36:29,560
Little question, sorry Ian, and maybe not the right moment, but I'm confused about the

1496
01:36:29,560 --> 01:36:34,000
difference between a prepared move and a triggered move.

1497
01:36:34,000 --> 01:36:36,560
If this isn't the right moment to explain it, we'll stay there.

1498
01:36:36,560 --> 01:36:37,560
They're pretty much the same.

1499
01:36:37,560 --> 01:36:45,760
So were you to take the prepared action, then when the trigger occurs, so for example, you'd

1500
01:36:45,760 --> 01:36:53,720
say I'm preparing to if the Ispyon comes within range to whack it with my staff, then that's

1501
01:36:53,720 --> 01:36:54,840
the prepare.

1502
01:36:54,840 --> 01:37:03,160
The trigger is entering your range, your reach, and then you would be able to perform the

1503
01:37:03,160 --> 01:37:07,080
action, the triggered action, hit it with your staff or at least attempt to.

1504
01:37:07,080 --> 01:37:10,560
All right, thank you.

1505
01:37:10,560 --> 01:37:18,440
Can we tell who it's heading for particularly or is it just charging at the whole group?

1506
01:37:18,440 --> 01:37:25,240
It's not like you formed ranks, but you are all idling and panicking in the same general

1507
01:37:25,240 --> 01:37:32,040
vicinity, so you can push someone ahead of you if you want them to take the brunt of

1508
01:37:32,040 --> 01:37:34,960
the beast range.

1509
01:37:34,960 --> 01:37:37,440
You can cower behind someone.

1510
01:37:37,440 --> 01:37:38,920
It's entirely up to you.

1511
01:37:38,920 --> 01:37:41,160
That's not necessarily where I was going.

1512
01:37:41,160 --> 01:37:44,320
I propose a volley of warning shots.

1513
01:37:44,320 --> 01:37:50,800
Yeah, I mean, I got the gun red-locked and loaded, so you guys cool if I pop off?

1514
01:37:50,800 --> 01:37:51,800
I should do it.

1515
01:37:51,800 --> 01:37:52,800
I'm popping.

1516
01:37:52,800 --> 01:37:53,800
What's that?

1517
01:37:53,800 --> 01:37:54,800
No, go for it.

1518
01:37:54,800 --> 01:37:55,800
I'm popping right now.

1519
01:37:55,800 --> 01:37:56,800
Okay.

1520
01:37:56,800 --> 01:38:05,920
So you're going to take a fast turn and you're going to use your action to take a fire warning

1521
01:38:05,920 --> 01:38:06,920
shot.

1522
01:38:06,920 --> 01:38:07,920
So that's scary.

1523
01:38:07,920 --> 01:38:14,600
Yeah. Okay, so I'm going to ask you to roll your B-20.

1524
01:38:14,600 --> 01:38:17,240
I'm going to ask you to roll three dice six.

1525
01:38:17,240 --> 01:38:19,240
If I may.

1526
01:38:19,240 --> 01:38:20,240
Sure.

1527
01:38:20,240 --> 01:38:25,080
I also have a firearm and I'm thinking if I also...

1528
01:38:25,080 --> 01:38:29,120
You did a fast action to pull out my revolver and fire warning shot at the same time.

1529
01:38:29,120 --> 01:38:34,560
I'm hoping it would have more of a dramatic effect and increase the effectiveness of the

1530
01:38:34,560 --> 01:38:39,120
experience as a whole, so I don't know if that counts as an assistant sort of thing

1531
01:38:39,120 --> 01:38:40,120
or a separate activity.

1532
01:38:40,120 --> 01:38:47,280
Yeah, it would be a separate activity because you're not actually directly helping.

1533
01:38:47,280 --> 01:38:48,280
Okay.

1534
01:38:48,280 --> 01:38:51,440
So you're going to fire that shot.

1535
01:38:51,440 --> 01:38:58,120
I want to dice 20 with three woes because you can see the creature and you are right

1536
01:38:58,120 --> 01:38:59,120
in the middle.

1537
01:38:59,120 --> 01:39:00,120
Okay.

1538
01:39:00,120 --> 01:39:02,920
So both of us the same thing then?

1539
01:39:02,920 --> 01:39:03,920
Yes, please.

1540
01:39:03,920 --> 01:39:05,840
And presumably you're shooting wide anyway.

1541
01:39:05,840 --> 01:39:10,560
I just want to know if you roll terribly then something...

1542
01:39:10,560 --> 01:39:13,560
Between the eyes.

1543
01:39:13,560 --> 01:39:16,560
Warning shot to the spine.

1544
01:39:16,560 --> 01:39:19,560
So one D20, right?

1545
01:39:19,560 --> 01:39:20,560
Correct.

1546
01:39:20,560 --> 01:39:28,880
With the dice sixes you're going to take the highest value and deduct it from the B-20.

1547
01:39:28,880 --> 01:39:32,480
Using a firearm is slight, isn't it?

1548
01:39:32,480 --> 01:39:33,480
Correct.

1549
01:39:33,480 --> 01:39:34,480
Five.

1550
01:39:34,480 --> 01:39:35,480
Five total.

1551
01:39:35,480 --> 01:39:39,480
Well, it's not a zero, so it's not bad.

1552
01:39:39,480 --> 01:39:43,960
You are aiming to miss and what did Halif do?

1553
01:39:43,960 --> 01:39:46,000
I did, sir, what did I say?

1554
01:39:46,000 --> 01:39:49,280
I did one D20 plus three D6s of 13.

1555
01:39:49,280 --> 01:39:50,280
Minus two.

1556
01:39:50,280 --> 01:39:51,280
Minus two.

1557
01:39:51,280 --> 01:39:52,280
Minus two.

1558
01:39:52,280 --> 01:39:53,280
Okay.

1559
01:39:53,280 --> 01:39:54,280
Or plus whatever your slight modifier is.

1560
01:39:54,280 --> 01:40:04,200
So fire high and wide and the report of the shots echoes out across the tundra, the bear

1561
01:40:04,200 --> 01:40:13,680
barely bats an eyelid as it continues with the scent of blood, which presumably poor

1562
01:40:13,680 --> 01:40:15,960
Biani is coughing up.

1563
01:40:15,960 --> 01:40:25,280
He acts as a intoxicating, alluring prey, so he is headed straight towards you like a

1564
01:40:25,280 --> 01:40:27,720
steaming super tree.

1565
01:40:27,720 --> 01:40:28,720
Okay.

1566
01:40:28,720 --> 01:40:31,800
So those were fast turns.

1567
01:40:31,800 --> 01:40:33,160
Are you taking fast turns, Bill?

1568
01:40:33,160 --> 01:40:35,280
Well, here's what I want to try and do.

1569
01:40:35,280 --> 01:40:37,360
I need a GM ruling, of course.

1570
01:40:37,360 --> 01:40:40,720
So I have an ability called Guardian Tree.

1571
01:40:40,720 --> 01:40:46,360
I can use a triggered action to protect at plus one woe.

1572
01:40:46,360 --> 01:40:53,440
So I'm wondering, can I set myself ready to try and protect whoever the bear goes for?

1573
01:40:53,440 --> 01:41:01,200
If that person is either your De Verkrend or Biani, then yes.

1574
01:41:01,200 --> 01:41:07,800
But the two people that fired will have kind of moved out of range and taken their aim

1575
01:41:07,800 --> 01:41:11,000
and won't be quite within reach.

1576
01:41:11,000 --> 01:41:13,520
Okay, I think I'll do that.

1577
01:41:13,520 --> 01:41:17,440
Okay, so you're preparing to protect.

1578
01:41:17,440 --> 01:41:21,320
And Ed, what have you got going on for Lexco?

1579
01:41:21,320 --> 01:41:22,320
Lexco?

1580
01:41:22,320 --> 01:41:25,120
Lexco, perhaps you should let's go at this point.

1581
01:41:25,120 --> 01:41:27,200
Yeah, that's what I think.

1582
01:41:27,200 --> 01:41:32,720
So I turn around and I start toting away from the bear.

1583
01:41:32,720 --> 01:41:34,240
Lexco crazy.

1584
01:41:34,240 --> 01:41:38,600
In doing so, you obviously remove yourself from the protection.

1585
01:41:38,600 --> 01:41:39,600
I dump.

1586
01:41:39,600 --> 01:41:44,600
Should I dump?

1587
01:41:44,600 --> 01:41:48,320
Dump a second time in five minutes.

1588
01:41:48,320 --> 01:41:49,320
He's a sex bot.

1589
01:41:49,320 --> 01:41:51,360
He's not a hero.

1590
01:41:51,360 --> 01:41:54,360
I love the fuck off.

1591
01:41:54,360 --> 01:41:58,520
All right.

1592
01:41:58,520 --> 01:42:00,840
You're in full flight.

1593
01:42:00,840 --> 01:42:01,840
Yeah.

1594
01:42:01,840 --> 01:42:06,120
Your stress reaction fight or flight was bugger off.

1595
01:42:06,120 --> 01:42:07,120
Yeah.

1596
01:42:07,120 --> 01:42:08,120
Yeah.

1597
01:42:08,120 --> 01:42:09,120
Vigorously.

1598
01:42:09,120 --> 01:42:12,120
Very, very, very brave.

1599
01:42:12,120 --> 01:42:16,240
All right.

1600
01:42:16,240 --> 01:42:25,400
Huffing and snarling beast almost erupts from the tundra, swinging its mighty paws towards

1601
01:42:25,400 --> 01:42:28,240
the leaf.

1602
01:42:28,240 --> 01:42:31,000
The blow crushes down.

1603
01:42:31,000 --> 01:42:44,160
And you have taken a rather modest 20 damage as it effectively rips your head from your

1604
01:42:44,160 --> 01:42:55,200
shoulders, tumbles and your body collapses to the floor, spewing a geyser of blood where

1605
01:42:55,200 --> 01:43:00,920
your last stand once was.

1606
01:43:00,920 --> 01:43:01,920
Technical question.

1607
01:43:01,920 --> 01:43:08,600
I have Yggdrasil's gift, which gives me a 20 plus roll on stabilized heels, which allows

1608
01:43:08,600 --> 01:43:09,600
him to heal.

1609
01:43:09,600 --> 01:43:10,600
Can I stabilize?

1610
01:43:10,600 --> 01:43:11,600
It's only a flesh wound.

1611
01:43:11,600 --> 01:43:12,600
His head's just.

1612
01:43:12,600 --> 01:43:13,600
Stabilize.

1613
01:43:13,600 --> 01:43:14,600
I need to stabilize.

1614
01:43:14,600 --> 01:43:15,600
Well, this is a dramatic development.

1615
01:43:15,600 --> 01:43:29,640
The rules for instant death are as if you from one source, you take all of that damage,

1616
01:43:29,640 --> 01:43:34,240
and then as especially as a level one character, there's no level zero character.

1617
01:43:34,240 --> 01:43:36,240
There's no getting up from that.

1618
01:43:36,240 --> 01:43:40,680
So, Halif the horse, Gelda has been bear baited.

1619
01:43:40,680 --> 01:43:43,680
Halif, we hardly knew you.

1620
01:43:43,680 --> 01:43:44,680
Oh.

1621
01:43:44,680 --> 01:43:45,680
Rolled his last horse.

1622
01:43:45,680 --> 01:43:46,680
Good Lord.

1623
01:43:46,680 --> 01:43:47,680
What a Halif.

1624
01:43:47,680 --> 01:43:48,680
Oh, OK.

1625
01:43:48,680 --> 01:43:49,680
Well, wait a minute.

1626
01:43:49,680 --> 01:43:50,680
We still got a bear.

1627
01:43:50,680 --> 01:43:51,680
What are we going to do?

1628
01:43:51,680 --> 01:43:52,680
OK, well.

1629
01:43:52,680 --> 01:43:57,800
Actually, the problem is, the problem, I think, is on the

1630
01:43:57,800 --> 01:44:02,480
verge of solving itself.

1631
01:44:02,480 --> 01:44:04,480
That was indeed round one.

1632
01:44:04,480 --> 01:44:13,440
We will now move on to round two, where everyone apart from poor, benighted Jason can have

1633
01:44:13,440 --> 01:44:14,440
another turn.

1634
01:44:14,440 --> 01:44:23,640
Jason, you can watch your life ebb and flow and perhaps take comfort from dying in battle.

1635
01:44:23,640 --> 01:44:26,640
And you can see this is after all the Vikings of Valkyries podcast.

1636
01:44:26,640 --> 01:44:34,760
You can see descending from Asgard, the winged, voluptuous Valkyrie come as the chooser of

1637
01:44:34,760 --> 01:44:43,480
this lane to pluck you from the battlefield and escort you into the arms of Odin.

1638
01:44:43,480 --> 01:44:44,480
Lucky bastard.

1639
01:44:44,480 --> 01:44:45,480
Yeah.

1640
01:44:45,480 --> 01:44:48,840
See you guys later on in Valhalla.

1641
01:44:48,840 --> 01:44:52,240
I've been wondering which part of the southern north he's from.

1642
01:44:52,240 --> 01:44:57,280
Don't ask questions.

1643
01:44:57,280 --> 01:45:01,320
You don't want answers to goodbye.

1644
01:45:01,320 --> 01:45:06,800
He might he might come back in an alpha or Dverga or a dark alpha body.

1645
01:45:06,800 --> 01:45:09,960
You know, this is all I love that.

1646
01:45:09,960 --> 01:45:13,360
Who knows what happens to the spirits of the land.

1647
01:45:13,360 --> 01:45:14,960
You have no time to mourn.

1648
01:45:14,960 --> 01:45:20,280
I'm actually because of the grisly nature of your comrades demise.

1649
01:45:20,280 --> 01:45:29,120
I'm all going to give you a trauma to add to your particular pickle.

1650
01:45:29,120 --> 01:45:30,120
Wonderful.

1651
01:45:30,120 --> 01:45:31,120
OK.

1652
01:45:31,120 --> 01:45:33,440
How do we do that?

1653
01:45:33,440 --> 01:45:36,400
Just add it to your sheet.

1654
01:45:36,400 --> 01:45:44,120
But that's also going to require another will roll to just to see quite quickly how you

1655
01:45:44,120 --> 01:45:48,920
descend into panic and shock.

1656
01:45:48,920 --> 01:45:52,720
OK, do we add one to the trauma number on the sheet?

1657
01:45:52,720 --> 01:45:53,720
You do.

1658
01:45:53,720 --> 01:45:54,720
OK.

1659
01:45:54,720 --> 01:45:55,720
All right.

1660
01:45:55,720 --> 01:46:01,560
OK, you said as we say farewell to Jason and the link, what are the rest of you doing with

1661
01:46:01,560 --> 01:46:03,320
your fast turns?

1662
01:46:03,320 --> 01:46:04,320
All right.

1663
01:46:04,320 --> 01:46:05,320
So abomination.

1664
01:46:05,320 --> 01:46:06,320
Yes.

1665
01:46:06,320 --> 01:46:10,680
That's devil priest to you.

1666
01:46:10,680 --> 01:46:13,000
The clockwork has run off.

1667
01:46:13,000 --> 01:46:19,640
Mm hmm. I will.

1668
01:46:19,640 --> 01:46:20,840
Excuse me.

1669
01:46:20,840 --> 01:46:23,040
That's a good Norse word, isn't it?

1670
01:46:23,040 --> 01:46:30,520
I propose running like mad and hoping that the bear is distracted by the now conveniently

1671
01:46:30,520 --> 01:46:31,520
available buffet.

1672
01:46:31,520 --> 01:46:36,040
Well, I believe we both run faster than the sex toy.

1673
01:46:36,040 --> 01:46:37,440
Yeah.

1674
01:46:37,440 --> 01:46:39,440
So that's all you have to do.

1675
01:46:39,440 --> 01:46:43,360
You just have to face the slowest member of the room.

1676
01:46:43,360 --> 01:46:45,520
But I got a head start, right?

1677
01:46:45,520 --> 01:46:48,280
So this is we got to do the math on this.

1678
01:46:48,280 --> 01:46:49,280
All right.

1679
01:46:49,280 --> 01:46:50,280
Yeah, no, I'm running.

1680
01:46:50,280 --> 01:46:55,840
I'm going to fortify myself and run, I guess.

1681
01:46:55,840 --> 01:46:58,360
So that would be a slow action because it's two things, right?

1682
01:46:58,360 --> 01:47:00,240
What's a fortify?

1683
01:47:00,240 --> 01:47:01,240
It's a thing I do.

1684
01:47:01,240 --> 01:47:06,160
I fortify my body to take half damage from all sources.

1685
01:47:06,160 --> 01:47:09,480
Everything made of stone has its benefits.

1686
01:47:09,480 --> 01:47:10,480
All right.

1687
01:47:10,480 --> 01:47:12,120
So everyone is running.

1688
01:47:12,120 --> 01:47:17,040
Obviously, poor Briana can't.

1689
01:47:17,040 --> 01:47:24,960
And so the bear looms over him, exploding with rage and fury.

1690
01:47:24,960 --> 01:47:27,680
It's drooling all over him.

1691
01:47:27,680 --> 01:47:31,160
The drool drips onto his chest.

1692
01:47:31,160 --> 01:47:38,920
And he looks over at the three of you running, trying to plow your way through the boggy

1693
01:47:38,920 --> 01:47:39,920
tundra.

1694
01:47:39,920 --> 01:47:48,440
And he calls out, you whimpering snart-nosed, cretinous cowards.

1695
01:47:48,440 --> 01:47:51,440
You're everything I despise.

1696
01:47:51,440 --> 01:47:56,440
You couldn't even kill me properly.

1697
01:47:56,440 --> 01:48:06,160
And that's the bear hounds him into the ground, ripping his spine from his body and sending

1698
01:48:06,160 --> 01:48:09,320
severed limbs in all directions.

1699
01:48:09,320 --> 01:48:12,840
I really want these three heads to fall off.

1700
01:48:12,840 --> 01:48:15,840
Well, we had that coming.

1701
01:48:15,840 --> 01:48:16,840
Okay.

1702
01:48:16,840 --> 01:48:17,840
So, um.

1703
01:48:17,840 --> 01:48:20,640
It's not giggling properly.

1704
01:48:20,640 --> 01:48:21,640
So result?

1705
01:48:21,640 --> 01:48:22,640
So he is dead.

1706
01:48:22,640 --> 01:48:23,640
Yeah.

1707
01:48:23,640 --> 01:48:35,440
We may not have fully fulfilled the don't get him eaten by a bear thing.

1708
01:48:35,440 --> 01:48:46,200
No, the bear is beginning to savage and maul both of the bodies of the humans who you were

1709
01:48:46,200 --> 01:48:47,200
escorting.

1710
01:48:47,200 --> 01:48:53,760
You know, you were leading a procession of the dead and it appears to have worked.

1711
01:48:53,760 --> 01:48:57,880
You know, you are very good in your role of psychopomps.

1712
01:48:57,880 --> 01:49:07,880
But you do now hear the kind of whirring and chugging of skeetiver that slide into view.

1713
01:49:07,880 --> 01:49:13,280
And you hear a huge bellowing voice yell out,

1714
01:49:13,280 --> 01:49:20,280
My Thor's roaring thunder Unhanded man Snow White

1715
01:49:20,280 --> 01:49:27,800
Stand down, step away, you brute, you beast.

1716
01:49:27,800 --> 01:49:32,240
Two more skeetiver, hove into view.

1717
01:49:32,240 --> 01:49:42,080
And you see a richly dressed towering man with receding black hair, towering about seven

1718
01:49:42,080 --> 01:49:47,800
foot tall, a Yofa by the name of Fimbogui Asbyssen.

1719
01:49:47,800 --> 01:49:55,200
And he stands there commanding the bear to release its prey.

1720
01:49:55,200 --> 01:50:05,360
The bear cowers and does so almost looking sheepish as it slinks back to its obvious

1721
01:50:05,360 --> 01:50:06,920
owner.

1722
01:50:06,920 --> 01:50:13,400
And that, gentlemen, is where we will leave our adventure for today.

1723
01:50:13,400 --> 01:50:19,480
The final image of three non-humans running off across the Tundra.

1724
01:50:19,480 --> 01:50:25,640
Those guys have impeccable timing on the skeetiver.

1725
01:50:25,640 --> 01:50:31,360
We need two more minutes.

1726
01:50:31,360 --> 01:50:37,600
The Vikings and Valkyries podcast is hammered together by a dedicated team of scouts and

1727
01:50:37,600 --> 01:50:38,600
Smiths.

1728
01:50:38,600 --> 01:50:42,520
Joining us this week was GM for hire Bill Hopkins.

1729
01:50:42,520 --> 01:50:47,700
You can find him on Start Playing using the stage name Magic Loody.

1730
01:50:47,700 --> 01:50:52,320
Also joining us was Jay, who has just released his first single Could Have with his band

1731
01:50:52,320 --> 01:50:53,720
Ober.

1732
01:50:53,720 --> 01:50:58,320
Find links to these works of myth and legend in the show notes.

1733
01:50:58,320 --> 01:51:12,680
In the meantime, please don't forget to like, share and sacrifice to the old gods.