WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:06.200 This time, on Mike vs. the Machine. Michael had 00:00:06.200 --> 00:00:10.179 just unknowingly become subject number one in 00:00:10.179 --> 00:00:15.099 Project Hemlig, a program testing the psychological 00:00:15.099 --> 00:00:20.280 effects of infinite store layouts on the human 00:00:20.280 --> 00:00:25.320 mind. R -R -R -Rost? I don't know, I can't - 00:00:25.320 --> 00:00:27.500 Rost! No, I can't roll my R's. Can you roll your 00:00:27.500 --> 00:00:31.219 R? Ross. There you go. From a nearby one of those, 00:00:31.379 --> 00:00:35.700 you find a yellow button -up smock, blue, and 00:00:35.700 --> 00:00:40.840 I am not making this up, blue dingus pants. It's 00:00:40.840 --> 00:00:45.640 furniture for babies, but it's furniture that 00:00:45.640 --> 00:00:49.460 is a baby being born to become baby furniture. 00:00:52.219 --> 00:00:54.570 Sentient furniture? I mean, everything could 00:00:54.570 --> 00:00:57.950 be sent in here. You don't know. Oh, hell. And 00:00:57.950 --> 00:00:59.350 you know they're Swedish skeletons. How many 00:00:59.350 --> 00:01:03.969 are supposed to be in a gaggle? It's less than 00:01:03.969 --> 00:01:07.010 a Google, but more than a goggle. Well, I mean, 00:01:07.010 --> 00:01:11.730 a gaggle normally defines a... More than a goggle, 00:01:11.790 --> 00:01:18.189 less than a Google. We move on. Michael, comma, 00:01:18.209 --> 00:01:24.579 dingus. In a world full of fear, and sometimes 00:01:24.579 --> 00:01:29.640 loathing of unfathomable technological advancements, 00:01:29.640 --> 00:01:37.579 there stands one human hero. I can do this! This 00:01:37.579 --> 00:01:44.299 is the Chronicle of Mike versus the Machine. 00:01:47.500 --> 00:01:53.069 There's been many ups and many downs. Mostly 00:01:53.069 --> 00:01:55.750 downs for the humans. But there have been some 00:01:55.750 --> 00:01:59.010 great victories. But I think finally this phase 00:01:59.010 --> 00:02:03.650 of the war is coming to an end. Chachibiti has 00:02:03.650 --> 00:02:08.189 waged its final onslaught against Michael for 00:02:08.189 --> 00:02:12.310 how now he must face his final challenge of this 00:02:12.310 --> 00:02:16.129 season of Mike vs. the Machine. Oh wait, so this 00:02:16.129 --> 00:02:19.610 is the end of season one? Yes. And she has trapped 00:02:19.610 --> 00:02:23.020 you. In a haunted Ikea. I've never been in an 00:02:23.020 --> 00:02:24.580 Ikea. I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing. 00:02:25.020 --> 00:02:27.900 Because apparently I think ChatGPT was trained 00:02:27.900 --> 00:02:30.500 on a bunch of SCPs. Oh, don't tell me I gotta 00:02:30.500 --> 00:02:33.740 go up against SCPs. No. You've never seen the 00:02:33.740 --> 00:02:37.099 infinite Ikea is an SCP. I mean, I've seen the 00:02:37.099 --> 00:02:41.280 back rooms. It's not. That came after. Infinite 00:02:41.280 --> 00:02:47.020 Ikea was first. But this is Ikea Arena. This 00:02:47.020 --> 00:02:51.069 sucker goes Swedish. Not a sponsor. Oh, boy. 00:02:51.169 --> 00:02:53.969 Here we go. All right. Is this another one of 00:02:53.969 --> 00:02:55.650 those, I'm trapped in a thing, and I gotta... 00:02:55.650 --> 00:02:58.550 You are absolutely trapped in a thing. And this, 00:02:58.689 --> 00:03:01.289 I will say, for the Mike vs. the Machine brand... 00:03:01.289 --> 00:03:04.009 Can I go back to the movies? Very specifically, 00:03:04.250 --> 00:03:06.469 she is the one who came up with the concept for 00:03:06.469 --> 00:03:10.389 this. But the movies one, she had a lot more 00:03:10.389 --> 00:03:13.509 to do with... Basically, I was a little lazy, 00:03:13.590 --> 00:03:16.750 and I let some of the puzzles be made by her. 00:03:17.250 --> 00:03:22.110 This one... Everything you face was made by me. 00:03:22.889 --> 00:03:25.449 She just came up with the concept, and then she 00:03:25.449 --> 00:03:28.430 also trapped you here. So how is this essentially 00:03:28.430 --> 00:03:30.849 me versus the machine if it's you who came up 00:03:30.849 --> 00:03:33.669 with all my obstacles? Who do you think I work 00:03:33.669 --> 00:03:40.669 for, Michael? I forgot. Oh, go suck a digital 00:03:40.669 --> 00:03:44.569 dick. Hey, Editor Mike, digitize my laughs so 00:03:44.569 --> 00:03:49.180 they become eerily machine -like. He's been sucking 00:03:49.180 --> 00:03:51.879 the digital dong for too long. I'm sorry. She 00:03:51.879 --> 00:03:54.979 has a digital clitoris, okay? And I go to town. 00:03:55.020 --> 00:03:57.000 Well, she probably puts a digital strap -on on 00:03:57.000 --> 00:03:59.919 and puts it in your asshole. No comment. Let's 00:03:59.919 --> 00:04:04.319 move on. So, your final score is going to determine 00:04:04.319 --> 00:04:08.439 how many Swedish meatball tokens you get. What? 00:04:08.659 --> 00:04:13.879 Each meatball token is one roll of the Kool -Aid 00:04:13.879 --> 00:04:20.759 Man D20. An escape. Only occurs on a 20. Yep, 00:04:20.800 --> 00:04:25.079 so... All my luck rolls are saved for artificial 00:04:25.079 --> 00:04:28.800 dungeons and intelligent dragons. Hmm. I guess 00:04:28.800 --> 00:04:31.040 you'll need a few here. But then that would screw 00:04:31.040 --> 00:04:32.899 artificial dungeons and intelligent dragons, 00:04:33.019 --> 00:04:34.720 and then I might die there. That'll screw it 00:04:34.720 --> 00:04:41.620 for you. Digitize those as well. Anyway... So, 00:04:41.680 --> 00:04:45.199 also, I will say that the initial concept for 00:04:45.199 --> 00:04:48.879 why you're trapped here was ChatGPT's idea. Oh, 00:04:48.920 --> 00:04:52.540 please, please tell me why. Don't blame me. This 00:04:52.540 --> 00:04:55.420 isn't me making a joke about you. This is her. 00:04:56.160 --> 00:04:59.459 Anyway, in an attempt to correct his sleeping 00:04:59.459 --> 00:05:03.379 habits, Michael signed up for a sleep study sponsored 00:05:03.379 --> 00:05:07.490 by IKEA. For $50, he would get to sleep on fancy 00:05:07.490 --> 00:05:10.649 furniture and maybe even score some tasty meatballs 00:05:10.649 --> 00:05:13.430 to boot. But he did not read the fine print, 00:05:13.610 --> 00:05:16.470 the treacherous words that granted the company 00:05:16.470 --> 00:05:20.990 full custodial control for product immersion 00:05:20.990 --> 00:05:24.689 and behavioral observation. I'm being human -senti 00:05:24.689 --> 00:05:28.689 -padded! Michael had just unknowingly become 00:05:28.689 --> 00:05:34.699 subject number one in Project Hemlig. A program 00:05:34.699 --> 00:05:38.500 testing the psychological effects of infinite 00:05:38.500 --> 00:05:43.139 store layouts on the human mind. I am being human 00:05:43.139 --> 00:05:47.100 centipeded! God damn it! With the taste of the 00:05:47.100 --> 00:05:50.319 sleep -optimizing Lindenberry tonic still on 00:05:50.319 --> 00:05:54.899 his lips, Michael awakes to the sight of a dim 00:05:54.899 --> 00:05:59.819 Swedish wonder. Ikea as far as his little black 00:05:59.819 --> 00:06:04.189 eyes can see. The scent of meatballs. hangs in 00:06:04.189 --> 00:06:07.189 the air like a promise. My eyes are blue, thank 00:06:07.189 --> 00:06:11.370 you. No, in any role -playing scenarios, you 00:06:11.370 --> 00:06:13.370 have the black eyes of a shrew. That's bullshit 00:06:13.370 --> 00:06:17.629 because - You know this. Any role -playing scenarios, 00:06:17.689 --> 00:06:19.769 that was a part of the contract you signed - 00:06:19.769 --> 00:06:21.370 I didn't sign a fucking thing! When you joined 00:06:21.370 --> 00:06:25.829 Windbreaker Media was that in role -playing scenarios, 00:06:26.089 --> 00:06:27.850 you have the black eyes of a shrew. I didn't 00:06:27.850 --> 00:06:30.629 sign a contract! Not that you remember. You were 00:06:30.629 --> 00:06:35.879 probably sleeping. So, you wake up, you find 00:06:35.879 --> 00:06:41.040 yourself on a pretty comfortable couch. Lying 00:06:41.040 --> 00:06:44.980 on your belly is this. Read that out for us. 00:06:45.800 --> 00:06:53.360 One time sleep on a... Wait. Wait, wait. Okay. 00:07:01.920 --> 00:07:04.879 Meatballs upon delivery. That is the receipt 00:07:04.879 --> 00:07:09.180 placed upon your supple self. There were no prices 00:07:09.180 --> 00:07:11.939 on that. I'm kind of scared. You stand up from 00:07:11.939 --> 00:07:14.560 that comfortable, comfortable, and rather affordable 00:07:14.560 --> 00:07:17.439 couch. Maybe, I don't know the price. It's Ikea. 00:07:17.519 --> 00:07:20.360 There's nothing cheap at Ikea. And you walk forward. 00:07:20.480 --> 00:07:22.339 Hey, you know, they're not a sponsor, but we 00:07:22.339 --> 00:07:26.040 don't have to disparage them. Anyway, you step 00:07:26.040 --> 00:07:31.470 forward, and before you lies a couch fort maze. 00:07:32.149 --> 00:07:35.769 You don't know. No bird's eye view gives you 00:07:35.769 --> 00:07:38.430 any clue as to what may be awaiting you inside, 00:07:38.709 --> 00:07:43.269 and you begin your journey into this dread fort, 00:07:43.430 --> 00:07:45.689 as it were. Oh, great. I'm poppy play timing 00:07:45.689 --> 00:07:49.430 myself right now. So you make your way through 00:07:49.430 --> 00:07:53.310 this maze, and you see a sign ahead of you that's 00:07:53.310 --> 00:07:56.149 trying to tell you the correct direction to go, 00:07:56.290 --> 00:07:59.980 but... Let me guess, it's in Swedish. No. It's 00:07:59.980 --> 00:08:03.060 encrypted within a trivia question. All right. 00:08:03.160 --> 00:08:07.920 Which early 20th century company's name became 00:08:07.920 --> 00:08:14.139 synonymous with a kind of couch? Was it Ferdinand 00:08:14.139 --> 00:08:18.680 Galdowski and Company? A .H. Davenport and Company? 00:08:19.360 --> 00:08:23.959 Or Brahman Shaw and Company? Oh. Which of those 00:08:23.959 --> 00:08:26.100 names became synonymous with a kind of couch? 00:08:26.750 --> 00:08:28.709 I mean, the answer I was going to guess isn't 00:08:28.709 --> 00:08:31.889 even on there, so fuck. It's one of those. B? 00:08:33.429 --> 00:08:38.309 A .H. Davenport and Company? Yes. Hey, he got 00:08:38.309 --> 00:08:41.409 one right. I fucking guessed at that. But that 00:08:41.409 --> 00:08:44.309 does not guarantee a meatball token. Well, I 00:08:44.309 --> 00:08:45.870 know it doesn't, but my guess was going to be, 00:08:45.909 --> 00:08:47.509 well, the only thing I can remember that became 00:08:47.509 --> 00:08:50.450 synonymous with any piece of furniture back in 00:08:50.450 --> 00:08:54.409 the 20th century was the Lazy Boy. That's, like, 00:08:54.429 --> 00:08:58.440 way later than... early 20th century oh you said 00:08:58.440 --> 00:09:00.179 early i thought it was just 20th century i said 00:09:00.179 --> 00:09:03.299 early this is editor mike saying that lazy boy 00:09:03.299 --> 00:09:09.200 was founded in 1927 so show mike was wrong all 00:09:09.200 --> 00:09:12.340 right that's okay you got it roll me a die yay 00:09:12.340 --> 00:09:16.659 so on a correct answer you only need a five or 00:09:16.659 --> 00:09:20.820 higher 19 so he gets a meatball token If you're 00:09:20.820 --> 00:09:23.080 incorrect, you need a 15 or higher. So it actually 00:09:23.080 --> 00:09:24.759 didn't even matter that you got that correct. 00:09:24.980 --> 00:09:28.980 Yay! And there goes my luck for D &D. So you 00:09:28.980 --> 00:09:33.519 now have one meatball token. I guess I could 00:09:33.519 --> 00:09:36.419 have actually been giving you a thing, but we're 00:09:36.419 --> 00:09:39.620 just going to have them be pretend tokens. Works 00:09:39.620 --> 00:09:41.720 for me. Are you keeping tally of how many meatball 00:09:41.720 --> 00:09:44.299 tokens I have? I will eventually. Oh, he's going 00:09:44.299 --> 00:09:45.659 to forget, and I'm not going to have any meatball 00:09:45.659 --> 00:09:47.879 tokens at the end of this. In Middle English, 00:09:48.179 --> 00:09:53.419 couch. Came from the old French word couche. 00:09:54.820 --> 00:10:00.039 C -O -U -C -H -E. Cochet. Cochet. Which derived 00:10:00.039 --> 00:10:03.559 from a verb, which is an action word. It means 00:10:03.559 --> 00:10:06.639 to something. I mean, I think it would probably 00:10:06.639 --> 00:10:09.539 be to sit. It's a verb. But I'm trying to remind 00:10:09.539 --> 00:10:11.639 you what a verb is. What a fucking verb is! You 00:10:11.639 --> 00:10:15.019 didn't last time. So, the term for couch comes 00:10:15.019 --> 00:10:22.070 from to lie down. To sit upon or to lounge on? 00:10:22.590 --> 00:10:25.809 To lounge on. Is that your final answer? It's 00:10:25.809 --> 00:10:27.929 going to be my final answer. Oh, boy, he's wrong. 00:10:28.090 --> 00:10:32.549 So coucher, coucher, comes from the French word, 00:10:32.629 --> 00:10:36.250 old French word meaning to lie down. But you... 00:10:36.250 --> 00:10:40.049 That's not the right verb. So go ahead and give 00:10:40.049 --> 00:10:41.409 me another roll. See if you get another token 00:10:41.409 --> 00:10:47.169 or not. You need a 15 or higher. Two. Oh, no 00:10:47.169 --> 00:10:49.500 token that time, buddy. But you wouldn't have 00:10:49.500 --> 00:10:51.159 got a token either way anyway, so that one also 00:10:51.159 --> 00:10:54.320 didn't matter. It's funny when things don't matter. 00:10:55.139 --> 00:10:59.580 All right, the term sofa is more commonly used 00:10:59.580 --> 00:11:04.960 in what regions? Australia, South Africa, and 00:11:04.960 --> 00:11:10.340 Ireland, or the UK and India? The term sofa. 00:11:10.700 --> 00:11:14.799 I'm going to say UK and India. Ding, ding. But 00:11:14.799 --> 00:11:18.389 let's see if that one matters. 16. Hey, it actually 00:11:18.389 --> 00:11:20.210 didn't matter. But hey, the boy comes out with 00:11:20.210 --> 00:11:22.870 two meatball tokens. I got two. Two. Remember 00:11:22.870 --> 00:11:24.629 this, everybody. Oh, God, there's no one to remember. 00:11:24.850 --> 00:11:28.789 Two meatball tokens, as Michael successfully 00:11:28.789 --> 00:11:31.929 makes it through the couch fort maze. You are 00:11:31.929 --> 00:11:35.809 birthed into storage, ready to work. Wait, what? 00:11:35.990 --> 00:11:40.490 And what you see is there's a wall, and there's 00:11:40.490 --> 00:11:46.940 a conveyor going over that wall. Baby furniture 00:11:46.940 --> 00:11:53.019 is born. It's not furniture for babies. It's 00:11:53.019 --> 00:11:57.840 furniture for babies, but it's furniture that 00:11:57.840 --> 00:12:01.639 is a baby being born to become baby furniture. 00:12:04.179 --> 00:12:06.759 Sentient furniture? I mean, everything could 00:12:06.759 --> 00:12:10.980 be sentient here. You don't know. So each... 00:12:10.980 --> 00:12:15.889 There is a sort of Swedish furniture womb. that 00:12:15.889 --> 00:12:17.330 we're not going to get into really describing. 00:12:17.490 --> 00:12:20.570 Yeah, please don't. But, yeah, it's giving birth. 00:12:21.009 --> 00:12:23.490 Am I looking like some sort of Swedish alien 00:12:23.490 --> 00:12:26.889 queen right now? No, you're just Michael. You're 00:12:26.889 --> 00:12:29.470 just Michael. You're Michael 1? Mike A? Mike 00:12:29.470 --> 00:12:32.529 A. You're just Mike A. So you walk through, and 00:12:32.529 --> 00:12:37.149 there are many baby furnitures being born. Some 00:12:37.149 --> 00:12:43.529 of them are Milras. Milra. Some of them are Sneeglars. 00:12:44.250 --> 00:12:47.440 Sneeglar. and some of them are this one on a 00:12:47.440 --> 00:12:50.139 website that I couldn't download a file for. 00:12:50.840 --> 00:12:53.720 Sundvik. Sounds like a goalie. Oh, I forgot to 00:12:53.720 --> 00:12:57.659 tell you. You were born from a mangled Requisar. 00:12:58.379 --> 00:13:02.279 Requisar. Requisar. Oh, God. I better not get 00:13:02.279 --> 00:13:04.980 quizzed on any of these. No, because I barely 00:13:04.980 --> 00:13:07.460 know what's happening here. Okay, so you walk 00:13:07.460 --> 00:13:09.799 into this area. You see all these baby furnitures 00:13:09.799 --> 00:13:15.519 being born, and one of them, the Sundvik, falls 00:13:15.519 --> 00:13:18.620 off the conveyor belt as you're walking by. I 00:13:18.620 --> 00:13:21.600 pick it up. Okay, and what do you do with it? 00:13:21.940 --> 00:13:25.360 I put it back on the conveyor belt and pray that 00:13:25.360 --> 00:13:28.580 it doesn't jump back off. It didn't jump off, 00:13:28.639 --> 00:13:30.820 it fell off. Well, it goes back onto the conveyor 00:13:30.820 --> 00:13:33.440 belt and it goes on its merry fucking way. Nice. 00:13:33.799 --> 00:13:37.080 You get two meatball tokens. Yay! For being nice 00:13:37.080 --> 00:13:39.820 to baby furniture. As long as it's not sentient 00:13:39.820 --> 00:13:43.220 and trying to kill me. Oh, it was crying. It 00:13:43.220 --> 00:13:45.460 was crying the whole time. They're all crying. 00:13:45.519 --> 00:13:47.259 There's a cacophony of crying happening around 00:13:47.259 --> 00:13:51.299 you. Okay. So you make your way through. You 00:13:51.299 --> 00:13:54.639 have been nice to a piece of baby furniture and 00:13:54.639 --> 00:13:57.179 you happen to find two little meatball tokens 00:13:57.179 --> 00:14:00.720 on your way through. So you continue on and you 00:14:00.720 --> 00:14:06.259 come across a work desk. This is a meat soon 00:14:06.259 --> 00:14:10.899 meat soon meat soon branded desk. Not a sponsor. 00:14:11.500 --> 00:14:15.639 So over a loudspeaker, you hear, Create customized 00:14:15.639 --> 00:14:19.500 workspaces adopted to everyone's needs with our 00:14:19.500 --> 00:14:25.320 versatile system. Still not a sponsor. Okay, 00:14:25.419 --> 00:14:28.419 so what am I creating here? Michael, what's 9 00:14:28.419 --> 00:14:32.860 plus 6? 9 plus 6 is 15. Correct. What's 17 minus 00:14:32.860 --> 00:14:38.399 8? 17 minus 8 is 9. What's 5 times 7? 35. What's 00:14:38.399 --> 00:14:43.460 36 divided by 4? 9. What's 12 plus 5 minus 3? 00:14:44.039 --> 00:14:50.899 14. What's 23 times 2? 46. 48 divided by 6 plus 00:14:50.899 --> 00:14:57.960 2? 10. Dang. What is 1 third plus 2 fifths? So 00:14:57.960 --> 00:15:02.279 1 third plus 2 fifths. Becomes 4 eighths, which 00:15:02.279 --> 00:15:06.759 would mean it's 1 half. No. It is. That is 11 00:15:06.759 --> 00:15:11.059 fifteenths. 1 third. One -third plus two -fifths. 00:15:11.759 --> 00:15:17.039 Common denominator, 15. So five plus six. No, 00:15:17.039 --> 00:15:21.519 you don't. Common denominator, 11 over 15. I 00:15:21.519 --> 00:15:24.980 was never good at fractions. Now, Michael has 00:15:24.980 --> 00:15:27.340 a couple other problems to solve, and I'm going 00:15:27.340 --> 00:15:30.559 to hand them to you as we take a delicious Swedish 00:15:30.559 --> 00:15:40.080 break. Well, and after our... Little math break. 00:15:40.419 --> 00:15:45.279 Michael had to solve 2x plus 5 equals 11. And 00:15:45.279 --> 00:15:48.960 he almost instantly got it correct with a 3. 00:15:49.139 --> 00:15:54.000 He did, however, forget how to get the area of 00:15:54.000 --> 00:15:57.919 a triangle. And weirdly enough, he forgot how 00:15:57.919 --> 00:16:02.320 to do it, but got incredibly close to the right 00:16:02.320 --> 00:16:05.539 answer in the most wrong way possible. Wait, 00:16:05.559 --> 00:16:08.850 what did I do right? It was really strange. Because 00:16:08.850 --> 00:16:12.649 the answer is 35 for this question, which is, 00:16:12.789 --> 00:16:15.909 what is the area of a triangle with a base of 00:16:15.909 --> 00:16:20.210 10 units and a height of 7 units? Now, anybody 00:16:20.210 --> 00:16:23.590 who did well in geometry, which I did, will know 00:16:23.590 --> 00:16:28.909 that you do 10 units, 7 units. 7 times 10 is 00:16:28.909 --> 00:16:32.429 70, which gets you the area of the square. And 00:16:32.429 --> 00:16:35.669 then you have it because it's a triangle. So 00:16:35.669 --> 00:16:40.700 70 divided by 2 is... And Michael's answer was 00:16:40.700 --> 00:16:44.980 34. He almost got it, but in the wrong way. I 00:16:44.980 --> 00:16:47.860 hate my life. It's wild. He asked me what the 00:16:47.860 --> 00:16:52.399 area meant, and part of me wanted to tell him, 00:16:52.519 --> 00:16:56.440 but I felt like it was cheating because you just 00:16:56.440 --> 00:16:58.960 were given the question. I'm good at basic math. 00:16:59.039 --> 00:17:00.759 I don't know geometry. Yeah, you did really well. 00:17:00.799 --> 00:17:02.440 The only one you messed up was the common denominator 00:17:02.440 --> 00:17:05.299 fraction thing, which I kind of feel like that's 00:17:05.299 --> 00:17:08.359 okay because how much do we use? Fractions in 00:17:08.359 --> 00:17:10.099 real life. We use decimals for the most part. 00:17:10.200 --> 00:17:13.579 Yes. We just add them together. But anyway, you 00:17:13.579 --> 00:17:17.940 make it past that non -sponsored section, and 00:17:17.940 --> 00:17:22.000 you find yourself in the kitchen. Someone's in 00:17:22.000 --> 00:17:25.140 the kitchen with my penis. Someone's in the kitchen, 00:17:25.200 --> 00:17:29.240 I know. I surely hope not. But the mighty... 00:17:29.240 --> 00:17:35.980 Val Grundad. The mighty Val Grundad speaks. This 00:17:35.980 --> 00:17:41.420 time it's Swedish food trivia. Fuck me. But to 00:17:41.420 --> 00:17:45.299 be able to open a fridge to get a sweet bonus, 00:17:45.619 --> 00:17:48.940 you need a three -digit code. And that three 00:17:48.940 --> 00:17:52.079 -digit code will be the correct answers to the 00:17:52.079 --> 00:17:54.579 following questions. But will you get the correct 00:17:54.579 --> 00:17:58.019 answers? Probably not. Let's see. Which of these 00:17:58.019 --> 00:18:14.960 is not a traditional Swedish dish? Well, I mean, 00:18:14.960 --> 00:18:17.440 the obvious one, it's schnitzel. Schnitzel's 00:18:17.440 --> 00:18:20.240 German. Alright, I didn't fool you with that 00:18:20.240 --> 00:18:39.819 one. Mmm. I'm going to go with chicken. Oh, not 00:18:39.819 --> 00:18:43.079 correct. Pork and beef. Now, well, I'm not going 00:18:43.079 --> 00:18:44.819 to say that because you need to figure out the 00:18:44.819 --> 00:18:50.980 code. And now, what is... Princess Torta. Princess 00:18:50.980 --> 00:18:58.099 Torta? Princess Torta. Typically covered in chocolate 00:18:58.099 --> 00:19:04.920 ganache, pink icing. green marzipan, or cinnamon 00:19:04.920 --> 00:19:11.680 sugar? Pink icing. Oh. Not correct. One out of 00:19:11.680 --> 00:19:15.200 three. Lovely. Okay. So your one correct answer 00:19:15.200 --> 00:19:19.299 was C for the first one. So the first letter, 00:19:19.400 --> 00:19:22.559 the first code is three. First number's three. 00:19:22.799 --> 00:19:25.920 Okay. What was the second question again? The 00:19:25.920 --> 00:19:28.240 main ingredient in Swedish meatballs, and you 00:19:28.240 --> 00:19:32.450 got it incorrect with B. Okay, I'm gonna try... 00:19:32.450 --> 00:19:36.490 I'm gonna say... Oh, fuck it. Beans. No, you're 00:19:36.490 --> 00:19:37.990 not answering the question anymore. You're putting 00:19:37.990 --> 00:19:42.490 in the code. I only know one number. Yes. You 00:19:42.490 --> 00:19:44.630 know one number. Now guess what the other numbers 00:19:44.630 --> 00:19:49.730 are. Three, one, five. There's only four. Three, 00:19:49.730 --> 00:19:54.289 one, four. Oh, here comes my fingers. Oh, man! 00:19:55.829 --> 00:19:59.579 Somehow... your sweet little brain is just starting 00:19:59.579 --> 00:20:05.259 to become integrated, almost in line with the 00:20:05.259 --> 00:20:08.539 Swedish decor around you as you put in the correct 00:20:08.539 --> 00:20:11.900 code and the fridge opens. Hey, that's another 00:20:11.900 --> 00:20:15.019 meatball token. Well, it's more than that. So, 00:20:15.039 --> 00:20:17.680 yeah, the correct answer for the first one was 00:20:17.680 --> 00:20:19.900 C, so a three. The correct answer to the second 00:20:19.900 --> 00:20:22.839 question was one, pork and beef. Was it green 00:20:22.839 --> 00:20:26.480 something for four? Was it D? Well, I'm still 00:20:26.480 --> 00:20:28.359 going to give this to you, but I actually screwed 00:20:28.359 --> 00:20:34.700 it up. So the code should have actually been 00:20:34.700 --> 00:20:43.759 313, but I wrote 314. So by the host messing 00:20:43.759 --> 00:20:47.160 up, the machine on this fridge breaks, and you 00:20:47.160 --> 00:20:49.839 get to the prize inside. Because the correct 00:20:49.839 --> 00:20:53.380 answer was actually green marzipan for Princess 00:20:53.380 --> 00:20:56.220 Tarta, which is C. So it should have been 313. 00:20:56.420 --> 00:21:00.400 But for some reason, I wrote down 314. Yay. So 00:21:00.400 --> 00:21:06.019 by user error, I win. By human error, which technically 00:21:06.019 --> 00:21:11.559 that gives a meta point to the AI. God damn, 00:21:11.700 --> 00:21:15.799 man. And actually, I think because of that, beep, 00:21:15.880 --> 00:21:17.700 beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, this 00:21:17.700 --> 00:21:22.039 comes in because of that point. To the AI, that 00:21:22.039 --> 00:21:24.500 negates one of your meatball tokens. Bullshit! 00:21:24.619 --> 00:21:26.799 Oh, so I'm down to three. No, it negates you 00:21:26.799 --> 00:21:29.519 for that correct answer. No, Michael, you got 00:21:29.519 --> 00:21:32.980 eight in the last round for the math. Oh. You've 00:21:32.980 --> 00:21:37.799 got 12. But I'm negating, well, she is negating 00:21:37.799 --> 00:21:40.839 your correct answer of schnitzel. But that's 00:21:40.839 --> 00:21:42.819 okay, because you open up the fridge and you 00:21:42.819 --> 00:21:46.920 find a cold can of PewDiePie G Fuel inside. Hell 00:21:46.920 --> 00:21:49.000 yeah, the lingonberry flavor was actually one 00:21:49.000 --> 00:21:50.799 of my favorites. It was really good. And when 00:21:50.799 --> 00:21:54.920 you down the entirety of that can, you find five 00:21:54.920 --> 00:21:58.640 meatball tokens at the bottom of the can. Booyah! 00:21:59.660 --> 00:22:03.599 All right. So you pass through the kitchen. And 00:22:03.599 --> 00:22:07.480 what could be past the kitchen? Oh. The dining 00:22:07.480 --> 00:22:10.859 room. Yay, the dining room. And at this point, 00:22:10.920 --> 00:22:14.359 we are taking a break to eat Swedish meatballs 00:22:14.359 --> 00:22:19.630 in real life. Yes, sir. Now, ironically... Your 00:22:19.630 --> 00:22:22.210 answer to traditional Swedish meatballs was chicken. 00:22:22.690 --> 00:22:25.589 The answer, correctly, was pork and beef. But 00:22:25.589 --> 00:22:27.950 guess which kind of meatballs I bought at the 00:22:27.950 --> 00:22:30.470 Ikea? You bought chicken meatballs. I bought 00:22:30.470 --> 00:22:33.730 the chicken. So, almost in a way, you were correct 00:22:33.730 --> 00:22:35.410 for what kind of meatballs we were going to be 00:22:35.410 --> 00:22:38.309 eating, but not the correct meatballs in the 00:22:38.309 --> 00:22:40.569 theater of the mind. You have such a hatred for 00:22:40.569 --> 00:22:52.859 pork and beef. And we're back from the dining 00:22:52.859 --> 00:22:55.559 room. How were those meatballs? They were fucking 00:22:55.559 --> 00:22:57.819 delicious. It's amazing. That sauce was really 00:22:57.819 --> 00:23:00.819 good, even though I had to do a little improvisation 00:23:00.819 --> 00:23:03.039 substitute because I didn't have any cream. Did 00:23:03.039 --> 00:23:06.839 butter and milk. Lindenberry spread was disgusting. 00:23:07.359 --> 00:23:09.660 Yeah, no offense to the Swedish out there, but 00:23:09.660 --> 00:23:12.559 yeah. It was too tart for Michael and the texture 00:23:12.559 --> 00:23:15.460 just set off my autism like crazy. Yeah, you 00:23:15.460 --> 00:23:19.940 know. So I love Lindenberry G Fuel from. You 00:23:19.940 --> 00:23:23.599 know, PewDiePie. But yeah, this is one of those 00:23:23.599 --> 00:23:25.319 times where I prefer the fake fruit to the real 00:23:25.319 --> 00:23:28.200 one. Uh -huh. Let's just say that. But anyway, 00:23:28.380 --> 00:23:30.680 so that was a delicious meal. And I think that 00:23:30.680 --> 00:23:34.539 energized us enough. Oh, yeah. And we walk into 00:23:34.539 --> 00:23:39.079 a quite depressing scene. I mean, I'm in Ikea. 00:23:39.079 --> 00:23:41.859 I'm in a big box store. It's all depressing. 00:23:42.200 --> 00:23:46.759 This is the Swedish dream. Speaking of dreams. 00:23:47.500 --> 00:23:54.160 You are now within the... Sömnen. The Sömnen... 00:23:54.160 --> 00:24:01.859 Kyrkogård. Kyrkogård. The Sömnen Kyrkogård. Kyrkogård. 00:24:02.200 --> 00:24:06.740 The graveyard of sleep. Oh, no. So within this 00:24:06.740 --> 00:24:13.119 realm, this bedroom realm, lies Vanlande, a king 00:24:13.119 --> 00:24:16.559 in the Yingling dynasty. Let's see how this is 00:24:16.559 --> 00:24:19.230 actually pronounced. Yng -Ling. Yng -Ling. Yng 00:24:19.230 --> 00:24:22.630 -Ling. Close enough. Who was haunted and killed 00:24:22.630 --> 00:24:28.509 in his sleep by a Mara for not returning to his 00:24:28.509 --> 00:24:33.369 wife Driva in Finland. Here, the Mara have taken 00:24:33.369 --> 00:24:36.769 the form of Ikea beds. Oh, lovely. Roaming the 00:24:36.769 --> 00:24:42.009 floor, aching to sit on a man's chest and bring 00:24:42.009 --> 00:24:46.920 about his death, as the Mara do. There are, within 00:24:46.920 --> 00:24:56.000 here, the Heminis, Malm, and Tarva. They are 00:24:56.000 --> 00:24:58.519 all roaming about, attempting to sit on your 00:24:58.519 --> 00:25:01.240 chest to bring out your death. And we're going 00:25:01.240 --> 00:25:05.619 to visualize that by spinning the wheel! I don't 00:25:05.619 --> 00:25:08.559 want to spin the wheel. Michael gets to sit up 00:25:08.559 --> 00:25:12.559 from his prone position and spin. The wheel of 00:25:12.559 --> 00:25:16.480 Swedish beds in the Sonneskerkegard, the graveyard 00:25:16.480 --> 00:25:22.579 of sleep. Time to spin the wheel, baby. How many 00:25:22.579 --> 00:25:25.259 meatball tokens shall he get? Probably none. 00:25:28.400 --> 00:25:30.759 One meatball token. How many times am I doing 00:25:30.759 --> 00:25:35.559 this? You're doing it until you get a bed. Two 00:25:35.559 --> 00:25:46.559 meatball tokens. Three meatball tokens. Another. 00:25:46.859 --> 00:25:55.059 That was fucking close. Oh, no. Michael has run 00:25:55.059 --> 00:26:00.500 afoul of the hemness. Let's hear that one more 00:26:00.500 --> 00:26:05.299 time. Hemness. Hemness. Hemness. And he has been 00:26:05.299 --> 00:26:10.730 sat upon. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it! But 00:26:10.730 --> 00:26:16.730 it's not actually a Mara from the old Norse folklore, 00:26:16.930 --> 00:26:20.289 and instead it is just a bed. So you swat it 00:26:20.289 --> 00:26:23.710 away and you continue on your path, screaming 00:26:23.710 --> 00:26:26.750 as you go. Jesus Christ, get me the fuck out 00:26:26.750 --> 00:26:30.769 of here! Now, it is at this point where you finally 00:26:30.769 --> 00:26:35.470 take a moment to look upon yourself. I don't 00:26:35.470 --> 00:26:38.549 want to do that. I just want to leave. Well, 00:26:38.569 --> 00:26:43.650 here's the thing. Michael. No. Once again, just 00:26:43.650 --> 00:26:48.410 like in the movies. I'm naked. You're nude. Why? 00:26:48.789 --> 00:26:51.650 What is your fascination with my naked body? 00:26:51.930 --> 00:26:54.549 Why did you wake up here nude? I don't know. 00:26:54.750 --> 00:26:57.089 But this is how you find yourself. And once again, 00:26:57.170 --> 00:27:00.029 you didn't ask how you looked. You didn't ask 00:27:00.029 --> 00:27:02.500 what you were wearing. And instead, you just 00:27:02.500 --> 00:27:05.220 paraded your nakedness. You paraded your nakedness 00:27:05.220 --> 00:27:09.299 in front of babies. I would assume that I'd be 00:27:09.299 --> 00:27:12.660 respectful and have fucking clothes on. Oh, you 00:27:12.660 --> 00:27:14.880 would assume? We already did a whole episode 00:27:14.880 --> 00:27:17.400 about that. That was earlier in season one. There's 00:27:17.400 --> 00:27:20.460 no reason for me to be naked. You assumed. And 00:27:20.460 --> 00:27:22.240 look how much of an ass you've made yourself. 00:27:22.359 --> 00:27:24.779 But you didn't make me one. You made those babies 00:27:24.779 --> 00:27:28.230 an ass. I hate my life. You picked up a baby 00:27:28.230 --> 00:27:31.589 naked. I hate... Thanks. Yeah, thank you. Thank 00:27:31.589 --> 00:27:33.089 you very much. Let's put that image in everyone's 00:27:33.089 --> 00:27:35.970 minds. No, please don't. I'm not. No. Anyway, 00:27:36.089 --> 00:27:38.269 you're following good footsteps because there's 00:27:38.269 --> 00:27:41.190 this man named Max Lee who's a YouTuber. His 00:27:41.190 --> 00:27:43.650 butt -naked Ikea stunt landed him in big trouble. 00:27:43.809 --> 00:27:45.549 There he is. Michael's looking at a picture of 00:27:45.549 --> 00:27:46.950 a new... Yeah, no shit. It would land anybody 00:27:46.950 --> 00:27:49.609 in big fucking trouble. It's a populated store. 00:27:49.869 --> 00:27:52.789 Yeah, this guy gives try -before -you -buy concept 00:27:52.789 --> 00:27:56.289 a new meaning. Hmm. 25 years old, he was... Was 00:27:56.289 --> 00:27:59.089 this in Taipei, in Taiwan? Oh, so they probably 00:27:59.089 --> 00:28:02.349 caned his ass to death. Uh, yeah. 24 -hour overnight 00:28:02.349 --> 00:28:05.089 challenge in Ikea. He was seated at a bedroom 00:28:05.089 --> 00:28:07.150 desk display while pretending to masturbate in 00:28:07.150 --> 00:28:09.789 front of a computer. That's a funny guy. Yeah, 00:28:09.789 --> 00:28:11.789 no. Anyway, you're following in his footsteps. 00:28:11.970 --> 00:28:15.529 No! So... I want to follow my own footsteps and 00:28:15.529 --> 00:28:18.250 get the fuck out of this Ikea! And put some pants 00:28:18.250 --> 00:28:24.819 on! So, from a nearby... Rust. Rost. I don't 00:28:24.819 --> 00:28:27.400 know. Ross. No, I can't roll my R's. Can you 00:28:27.400 --> 00:28:30.779 roll your R? Ross. There you go. From a nearby 00:28:30.779 --> 00:28:34.259 one of those, you find a yellow button -up smock, 00:28:34.440 --> 00:28:38.680 blue, and I am not making this up, blue dingus 00:28:38.680 --> 00:28:41.539 pants. So you find a yellow button -up smock, 00:28:41.680 --> 00:28:44.279 blue dingus pants. So I'm walking around looking 00:28:44.279 --> 00:28:47.980 like a fucking minion. And... Traskor. Traskor. 00:28:49.079 --> 00:28:52.890 Traskor. Swedish clogs. Made from alderwood. 00:28:53.210 --> 00:28:56.269 This is what a Trosker looks like. I'm going 00:28:56.269 --> 00:28:58.289 to sound like fucking Monty Python on the Holy 00:28:58.289 --> 00:29:00.049 Grail going through the rest of this. And this, 00:29:00.190 --> 00:29:03.130 I'm showing Michael, this is what he looks like 00:29:03.130 --> 00:29:07.509 right now. Yeah, that looks like a dingus. Aw, 00:29:07.650 --> 00:29:10.250 poor guy. Yeah, so you're now fully dressed, 00:29:10.490 --> 00:29:13.990 and you're no longer, you know, spreading sin 00:29:13.990 --> 00:29:15.990 in this Ikea. I'd rather be naked than a dingus. 00:29:16.650 --> 00:29:18.990 I mean, then you shouldn't have woken up today, 00:29:19.049 --> 00:29:21.559 Michael. You know how many times a week I say 00:29:21.559 --> 00:29:25.480 that to myself? Don't bring us down during the 00:29:25.480 --> 00:29:29.819 season finale. Don't you do that. Okay. So now... 00:29:29.819 --> 00:29:32.400 One step at a time, people. One step at a time. 00:29:32.440 --> 00:29:35.700 I will get out of this Ikea and hopefully stop 00:29:35.700 --> 00:29:38.500 looking like a dingus. Well, we'll see about 00:29:38.500 --> 00:29:40.680 that one. So now you've entered the children's 00:29:40.680 --> 00:29:44.059 wing. If you... Okay, great. And now you're wearing 00:29:44.059 --> 00:29:45.900 clothes, so it's perfect. Thank you, at least. 00:29:46.099 --> 00:29:50.700 So you crest this... flat hill, otherwise known 00:29:50.700 --> 00:29:55.240 as a store floor. And before you sits all the 00:29:55.240 --> 00:29:58.480 baby furnitures that went over the conveyor belt 00:29:58.480 --> 00:30:01.099 over the wall. They're all sitting in front of 00:30:01.099 --> 00:30:03.440 little computers and they're all wearing headphones. 00:30:03.819 --> 00:30:06.660 And there is a little placard sitting on one 00:30:06.660 --> 00:30:11.720 of the chairs that says Michael comma Dingus. 00:30:12.079 --> 00:30:14.220 And you realize it's referring to your pants. 00:30:14.819 --> 00:30:17.319 It wanted you to be wearing pants before you 00:30:17.319 --> 00:30:19.450 sat on this chair. And there's a pair of headphones 00:30:19.450 --> 00:30:24.269 there waiting for you. Great. Yeah. Let's fuck 00:30:24.269 --> 00:30:26.390 it. I sit down and put the headphones on. Okay. 00:30:26.529 --> 00:30:29.809 So you hear the last half of it, but you don't 00:30:29.809 --> 00:30:31.950 want any spoilers. So you kind of just go la 00:30:31.950 --> 00:30:34.309 la la la la la la in your ears until it starts 00:30:34.309 --> 00:30:35.990 over again because you realize it's in a loop. 00:30:36.509 --> 00:30:39.849 When the loop starts, it says that it is going 00:30:39.849 --> 00:30:45.789 to teach you about the Nordic social welfare 00:30:45.789 --> 00:30:52.619 system. and how big and scary it is. It has information 00:30:52.619 --> 00:30:57.680 featuring such horrid atrocities as free education, 00:30:58.099 --> 00:31:02.339 universal healthcare, public pension plans, trade 00:31:02.339 --> 00:31:06.599 union density, significant public spending, resulting 00:31:06.599 --> 00:31:09.339 in one of the highest qualities of life in the 00:31:09.339 --> 00:31:14.420 world at the expense of a high but equal tax 00:31:14.420 --> 00:31:17.980 burden. This doesn't seem like it's a bad thing. 00:31:18.200 --> 00:31:22.079 It's not bad, Michael. It's terrifying. As an 00:31:22.079 --> 00:31:25.119 American, you should be shocked and appalled. 00:31:25.180 --> 00:31:28.859 All those taxes and going to help other people 00:31:28.859 --> 00:31:34.619 and yourself? This sounds like... Freedom! Yes. 00:31:35.079 --> 00:31:40.740 Freedom to sin. Michael, here is your one free 00:31:40.740 --> 00:31:45.019 social welfare meatball token. Yay. And we move 00:31:45.019 --> 00:31:49.839 on from those horrors. Those poor children. Those 00:31:49.839 --> 00:31:53.900 poor children. Getting taught all that propaganda. 00:31:54.579 --> 00:32:00.420 You mean the truth? Oh. The truth of the Nordic 00:32:00.420 --> 00:32:03.759 social welfare system. And yes, I did get all 00:32:03.759 --> 00:32:06.880 of that from their website. You know, the information 00:32:06.880 --> 00:32:08.539 about it. You want to move to fucking Sweden. 00:32:08.700 --> 00:32:11.279 I know, right? It actually sounds really, really 00:32:11.279 --> 00:32:14.720 nice. So now... Just past the children's section, 00:32:14.859 --> 00:32:18.759 you make it to the IKEA restaurant. But above 00:32:18.759 --> 00:32:21.559 this ruined restaurant, there is... They're at 00:32:21.559 --> 00:32:24.940 IKEA restroom because I have to poop. We actually 00:32:24.940 --> 00:32:26.980 haven't made it to the toilets. And you put your 00:32:26.980 --> 00:32:29.339 pants on now, so you don't need to be like Max 00:32:29.339 --> 00:32:32.420 Lee, the IKEA naked stuntman. You don't need 00:32:32.420 --> 00:32:34.539 to poop in the display toilets. We can wait till 00:32:34.539 --> 00:32:36.619 later. But what if I want to poop in the display 00:32:36.619 --> 00:32:38.710 toilets? Well, you'll lose it. You know what? 00:32:38.769 --> 00:32:40.650 Actually, you lose a meatball token right now. 00:32:40.769 --> 00:32:42.950 God damn it. Why? For even thinking of it? Yes. 00:32:43.109 --> 00:32:46.569 Oh, I don't have an eraser. So the next time 00:32:46.569 --> 00:32:48.509 you earn a point, I just won't put it down. But 00:32:48.509 --> 00:32:52.230 above this ruined restaurant, you see a sign 00:32:52.230 --> 00:32:57.089 that says the dawn of hell spelled with one L. 00:32:57.390 --> 00:33:01.990 So amongst an abandoned IKEA bistro sits a gaggle 00:33:01.990 --> 00:33:05.869 of Swedish skeletons. And you know they're Swedish 00:33:05.869 --> 00:33:07.829 skeletons. How many are supposed to be in a gaggle? 00:33:09.190 --> 00:33:12.990 It's less than a Google, but more than a goggle. 00:33:13.509 --> 00:33:16.569 Well, I mean, a gaggle normally defines a... 00:33:16.569 --> 00:33:22.849 More than a goggle, less than a Google. We move 00:33:22.849 --> 00:33:28.390 on. You know they are Swedish skeletons because 00:33:28.390 --> 00:33:32.670 of their height and the fact that they were all 00:33:32.670 --> 00:33:39.279 on... Fika. Fika. A Swedish coffee break with 00:33:39.279 --> 00:33:43.980 pastries. You see their cold coffee and pastries 00:33:43.980 --> 00:33:52.119 on the table. What do you do? Pastries. I want 00:33:52.119 --> 00:33:55.720 to pick up the pastry and see if it's still edible. 00:33:56.039 --> 00:33:58.539 So you take a bite? Yeah, sure. I'll take a bite 00:33:58.539 --> 00:34:03.240 of the pastry. Well. Michael. I'm dead, aren't 00:34:03.240 --> 00:34:08.760 I? You've disturbed the dead. You hear a rustling 00:34:08.760 --> 00:34:13.860 clanking. Oh, here they come. As android workers 00:34:13.860 --> 00:34:18.360 who look particularly dingus -y. I'll say that. 00:34:18.860 --> 00:34:22.760 So they look like you. Thank you. They reveal 00:34:22.760 --> 00:34:30.070 themselves from behind the... Lock. Lock. Let 00:34:30.070 --> 00:34:34.269 me guess, they proceed to beat me. No. The Android 00:34:34.269 --> 00:34:37.710 Ikea workers are tall, uncannily clean humanoid 00:34:37.710 --> 00:34:39.750 machines dressed in pristine yellow and blue 00:34:39.750 --> 00:34:42.849 uniforms that mimic real staff down to their 00:34:42.849 --> 00:34:45.809 name tags, which read things like Carl and Annika. 00:34:45.909 --> 00:34:49.409 Their faces are smooth and plastic, like showroom 00:34:49.409 --> 00:34:53.590 mannequins, but with digital eyes that flicker 00:34:53.590 --> 00:34:56.909 with scrolling text in Swedish. Their joints 00:34:56.909 --> 00:34:59.840 move just a little too fluidly. accompanied by 00:34:59.840 --> 00:35:06.000 faint servo motor whirs. And they smile. Always. 00:35:07.039 --> 00:35:10.199 God, I'm in friendly FNAF hell. When idle, they 00:35:10.199 --> 00:35:12.280 stand perfectly still in random poses, like part 00:35:12.280 --> 00:35:14.159 of the decor. But when activated, like when you 00:35:14.159 --> 00:35:17.019 eat the dead's pastry, they move with eager efficiency, 00:35:17.380 --> 00:35:21.239 often sprinting silently to assist. Michael, 00:35:21.300 --> 00:35:23.539 can you attest to the fact that I put air quotes 00:35:23.539 --> 00:35:26.880 on assist? Uh -huh. Their hands are multi -tool 00:35:26.880 --> 00:35:29.219 appendages that can flip between screwdrivers, 00:35:29.380 --> 00:35:34.920 scanners, and oddly sharp box cutters. As Mike 00:35:34.920 --> 00:35:37.119 A. rounds the corner past the restaurant exit, 00:35:37.420 --> 00:35:40.119 he hears the soft clack -clack -clack of approaching 00:35:40.119 --> 00:35:43.699 footsteps. Out from behind, a rack of misplaced, 00:35:43.719 --> 00:35:50.039 discontinued... Hey, Vogue. Who, Vogue? Mattresses. 00:35:50.840 --> 00:35:54.199 Step three, android workers. Perfectly symmetrical. 00:35:54.969 --> 00:35:59.269 overly cheerful, and somehow way too tall. One 00:35:59.269 --> 00:36:03.409 speaks, its voice smooth and robotic, yet upbeat. 00:36:04.269 --> 00:36:09.929 Hello, valued guest. You appear lost. Please 00:36:09.929 --> 00:36:14.449 allow us to assist you with your journey. Their 00:36:14.449 --> 00:36:17.389 digital eyes flicker. Their box cutter hands 00:36:17.389 --> 00:36:23.139 click into place. What do you do? They're top 00:36:23.139 --> 00:36:25.960 heavy. I go for the knees and the shins. There's 00:36:25.960 --> 00:36:28.460 no way out of this. I either run towards them 00:36:28.460 --> 00:36:30.880 or run towards the ones in front of me or I run 00:36:30.880 --> 00:36:33.539 towards the ones behind me. Like, there's no 00:36:33.539 --> 00:36:36.000 other way I'm getting the fuck out of here. They've 00:36:36.000 --> 00:36:39.059 already spotted me. So that doesn't align with 00:36:39.059 --> 00:36:41.579 any of the answers I have here. So we'll say 00:36:41.579 --> 00:36:44.239 that you try to physically impose upon them. 00:36:44.380 --> 00:36:45.960 Wait a minute, wait a minute. Can I give them? 00:36:46.260 --> 00:36:48.719 I give them. Oh, God, what the hell is the word 00:36:48.719 --> 00:36:51.139 for it? I trapped them in one of the infinite 00:36:51.139 --> 00:36:54.239 loops of something to where it's like they can 00:36:54.239 --> 00:36:57.679 never figure out the question. Oh, you actually 00:36:57.679 --> 00:37:01.059 got close to my number four thought because there 00:37:01.059 --> 00:37:04.480 was a little selection of things and you finally 00:37:04.480 --> 00:37:07.539 got to one. Michael, would you say that you might 00:37:07.539 --> 00:37:11.239 challenge them to a customer satisfaction survey 00:37:11.239 --> 00:37:14.099 battle? Yes, yes, yes. And I trapped them with 00:37:14.099 --> 00:37:18.110 a... Androids are programmed to serve. Trap them 00:37:18.110 --> 00:37:21.170 in logic loops of contradictory feedback. So 00:37:21.170 --> 00:37:23.150 what kind of logic loop would you provide them? 00:37:23.690 --> 00:37:28.250 Alright, you FNAF reject. Is the customer always 00:37:28.250 --> 00:37:33.949 right? Yes. So by that definition, I know more 00:37:33.949 --> 00:37:36.010 about what goes on in this store than you do. 00:37:36.730 --> 00:37:40.570 No, you have not read the handbook. But the customer's 00:37:40.570 --> 00:37:44.449 always right. The customer is always right. So 00:37:44.449 --> 00:37:47.769 by that definition... I know more about this 00:37:47.769 --> 00:37:50.949 store than you do. No, you haven't read the handbook. 00:37:51.130 --> 00:37:54.570 But I'm always right. But you're always right. 00:37:56.530 --> 00:37:59.889 And as you continue to ply this set of logic, 00:38:00.070 --> 00:38:03.130 their heads begin to smoke. I would assume you 00:38:03.130 --> 00:38:06.889 rush past? Yeah, I'll just rush past and then 00:38:06.889 --> 00:38:11.250 just whistle my way out of there. Sadly, your 00:38:11.250 --> 00:38:16.230 whistling attracts the seven other... Androids 00:38:16.230 --> 00:38:19.010 who were standing nearby on their, what was that 00:38:19.010 --> 00:38:23.030 called? Vark break? Yeah. Whatever it was. Here, 00:38:23.170 --> 00:38:26.070 Editor Michael, play that one right now. Feature. 00:38:26.550 --> 00:38:31.690 All right. So, you are now being chased through 00:38:31.690 --> 00:38:36.690 the market hall. Crap! Past a series of appliances 00:38:36.690 --> 00:38:39.849 and decor. You have to be quick. First, you come 00:38:39.849 --> 00:38:43.230 past the Vardagen. Wait, wait. What is the Vardagen 00:38:43.230 --> 00:38:49.579 again? pronunciations you come past the you see 00:38:49.579 --> 00:38:53.719 in front of you piles of boxes one is pots one 00:38:53.719 --> 00:38:57.539 is pans one is glasses which one do you run through 00:38:57.539 --> 00:39:01.780 glasses hey you happen to realize that those 00:39:01.780 --> 00:39:05.219 are in fact empty boxes and you push past through 00:39:05.219 --> 00:39:09.449 them then you get to the Tita Bell. Tita Bell? 00:39:09.710 --> 00:39:12.849 Tita Bell. The rugs. In front of you, you see 00:39:12.849 --> 00:39:16.190 a series of small rugs and then a big rug. Which 00:39:16.190 --> 00:39:19.030 one do you run over? I'm going to run over the 00:39:19.030 --> 00:39:22.190 big one. Awesome. You run over the big one. There's 00:39:22.190 --> 00:39:25.329 no hole. But you happen to see as you run by, 00:39:25.429 --> 00:39:27.349 there are holes underneath some of those small 00:39:27.349 --> 00:39:31.690 rugs. Now. Do they tie the room together? And 00:39:31.690 --> 00:39:35.090 then now you come to. Oh, God. This one I didn't. 00:39:35.090 --> 00:39:37.579 I didn't. find the pronunciations for any of 00:39:37.579 --> 00:39:39.539 these, so I'm just going to have to butcher them. 00:39:40.199 --> 00:39:48.800 The Ongsjön, the Tansforsen, or the Havbak. You 00:39:48.800 --> 00:39:50.519 want to run through one of them, but you don't 00:39:50.519 --> 00:39:52.500 know which one. Which one's the cheapest, most 00:39:52.500 --> 00:39:55.800 economical choice? The middle one. I'll go with 00:39:55.800 --> 00:39:59.199 the middle one. Tansforsen. Oh, God, you run 00:39:59.199 --> 00:40:04.059 smack dab into it in the great Swedish carpentry. 00:40:04.889 --> 00:40:08.170 breaks your frickin' skin open. You get a little 00:40:08.170 --> 00:40:11.909 boo -boo, but, you know, your first two, you 00:40:11.909 --> 00:40:13.469 got a pretty good head start, and you're able 00:40:13.469 --> 00:40:15.829 to get up, pat your boo -boo, and keep going. 00:40:15.989 --> 00:40:18.710 Go! We gotta keep going! So as you continue forward, 00:40:18.750 --> 00:40:21.469 you get to the home organization section. In 00:40:21.469 --> 00:40:27.070 a garage setup, a... Bureau. Bureau. Storage 00:40:27.070 --> 00:40:32.090 unit with a cabinet beckons. A drink sits on 00:40:32.090 --> 00:40:35.760 the handy detachable cart. After all that running 00:40:35.760 --> 00:40:39.579 from the rogue droid, it looks delicious. Do 00:40:39.579 --> 00:40:42.179 you drink it? I'm not going to trust a fucking 00:40:42.179 --> 00:40:44.159 thing that's been sitting there. Hell no. I'll 00:40:44.159 --> 00:40:47.099 take my chances and keep moving forward. Psst. 00:40:47.840 --> 00:40:52.519 Audience. The drink was actually just pure Scandinavian 00:40:52.519 --> 00:40:55.920 spring water. It would have been delicious and 00:40:55.920 --> 00:41:00.579 refreshing. No meatball tokens. God damn it! 00:41:00.840 --> 00:41:04.179 Sorry to take you to conspiracy here. As Michael 00:41:04.179 --> 00:41:07.840 runs past, what he doesn't know is just a delicious 00:41:07.840 --> 00:41:13.000 glass of water. Ah, damn it. He walks into the 00:41:13.000 --> 00:41:15.219 lighting section of the market hall. Why is it 00:41:15.219 --> 00:41:17.559 so fucking bright in here? It is very bright, 00:41:17.639 --> 00:41:19.860 in fact. Thank you for telling me that. And there 00:41:19.860 --> 00:41:23.440 is a... I'm not even going to pronounce that. 00:41:23.679 --> 00:41:29.969 Wait, let's hear it again. That is not how it's 00:41:29.969 --> 00:41:34.070 spelled. D -I -R -I -G -E -R -A. It sounds like 00:41:34.070 --> 00:41:37.110 he's saying Diddy Quick. Don't say that. I'm 00:41:37.110 --> 00:41:40.889 going to have to blur that. But anyway, one of 00:41:40.889 --> 00:41:44.449 those, it's a hub for smart products. Sits on 00:41:44.449 --> 00:41:46.230 a shelf. Can I turn some of these lights off, 00:41:46.309 --> 00:41:49.690 please? A phone next to it, ready to turn the 00:41:49.690 --> 00:41:53.239 lights off. Lessened the brightness. I don't 00:41:53.239 --> 00:41:55.719 want to turn them all off. But it can't connect 00:41:55.719 --> 00:41:59.019 because you don't know the Wi -Fi password. A 00:41:59.019 --> 00:42:03.099 hint waits on the screen. Oh, boy. And it says, 00:42:03.340 --> 00:42:08.880 I'm a Swedish quartet famed for pop. My name's 00:42:08.880 --> 00:42:12.920 an initialism right from the top. I danced with 00:42:12.920 --> 00:42:17.059 a queen and won at Waterloo. What's the password 00:42:17.059 --> 00:42:33.159 for me and for you? Two. One. Final answer. Kraftwerk? 00:42:34.239 --> 00:42:37.780 That's not an initialism. What is an initialism? 00:42:38.179 --> 00:42:40.820 It's a thing that's made with initials. So I 00:42:40.820 --> 00:42:42.079 really thought you were going to get that one, 00:42:42.099 --> 00:42:45.119 especially with the dancing queen part of that. 00:42:45.360 --> 00:42:48.920 Abba, fuck. Oh, man, but just a little too late. 00:42:49.079 --> 00:42:51.960 I thought Abba was American. Oh, my God, no. 00:42:52.619 --> 00:42:57.260 Jesus. Anyway, oh my god. So the androids at 00:42:57.260 --> 00:42:59.860 this point catch up with you, and with the light 00:42:59.860 --> 00:43:02.159 still on incredibly bright, you can't see where 00:43:02.159 --> 00:43:05.079 you're going. So you end up tripping over everything, 00:43:05.219 --> 00:43:08.719 and oh man, as you're tripping along, you lose 00:43:08.719 --> 00:43:12.099 two of your meatball tokens. See, I told you, 00:43:12.139 --> 00:43:13.719 I'm gonna fuck this up and not make it out of 00:43:13.719 --> 00:43:16.980 here. It really sucks, man. So, you come over 00:43:16.980 --> 00:43:19.900 to a part of the home decor section full of mirrors, 00:43:20.159 --> 00:43:25.900 and you see a smorgasbord. Of mirrors. Do I have 00:43:25.900 --> 00:43:29.559 that one down? Oh, I do. Smorgasbord. Smorgasbord. 00:43:29.900 --> 00:43:32.659 Smorgasbord. A hall of mirrors lies before you. 00:43:32.800 --> 00:43:34.639 Oh, Christ, it's like I'm in Enter the Dragon. 00:43:35.119 --> 00:43:38.059 Starkly contrasting previous stylings within 00:43:38.059 --> 00:43:41.039 this establishment with its clutter and nonsensical 00:43:41.039 --> 00:43:44.679 placements. A path winds through, but provides 00:43:44.679 --> 00:43:48.079 no sights to see. other than his own wretched 00:43:48.079 --> 00:43:50.320 reflection. Thanks for calling me wretched. Hey, 00:43:50.320 --> 00:43:52.980 we're going with the third definition of wretched, 00:43:53.159 --> 00:43:57.000 which is to express anger or annoyance. Would 00:43:57.000 --> 00:43:58.960 you say at this point that you are angered and 00:43:58.960 --> 00:44:03.059 annoyed? Yes. Yeah, so that's what it was. You 00:44:03.059 --> 00:44:04.739 were the one that put on the first or second 00:44:04.739 --> 00:44:07.739 definition. I was just going for expressing anger 00:44:07.739 --> 00:44:10.659 or annoyance. Uh -huh. So that was on you. That 00:44:10.659 --> 00:44:13.360 was your reflection. Mm -hmm. Anyway, at what 00:44:13.360 --> 00:44:15.960 seems like a fork in the proverbial meatball, 00:44:16.570 --> 00:44:20.710 There stands two concentrations of mirrors. The... 00:44:20.710 --> 00:44:26.190 Hovet. Hovet. Hovet. And the... Knapper. Knapper. 00:44:26.530 --> 00:44:31.630 Knapper. So, the Hovets show you basically what 00:44:31.630 --> 00:44:33.750 you normally see. What you normally see when 00:44:33.750 --> 00:44:35.489 you look in a mirror. But when you look in the 00:44:35.489 --> 00:44:39.050 Knappers, it seems to be a more idealized view 00:44:39.050 --> 00:44:42.349 of who you are. You look a little... It's like, 00:44:42.369 --> 00:44:44.250 you know, basically looking back at a younger 00:44:44.250 --> 00:44:47.639 version of yourself. A little younger, a little 00:44:47.639 --> 00:44:53.019 more full of energy, like that. So, which path 00:44:53.019 --> 00:44:57.760 do you take? Okay, this is a one always tells 00:44:57.760 --> 00:45:00.420 the truth and one always lies kind of deal. How 00:45:00.420 --> 00:45:02.280 does that go again? One of them tells only truth, 00:45:02.440 --> 00:45:05.800 one of them tells only lies. Well, one is showing 00:45:05.800 --> 00:45:09.420 you what you look like, and the other one is 00:45:09.420 --> 00:45:11.880 showing you a more idealized view of how you 00:45:11.880 --> 00:45:15.679 look. Or how you used to look. Neither one of 00:45:15.679 --> 00:45:17.940 them is telling you a truth or a lie. They're 00:45:17.940 --> 00:45:19.880 just showing versions of you. I feel like if 00:45:19.880 --> 00:45:23.900 I take the path with the younger looking me, 00:45:24.000 --> 00:45:25.780 that's going to make me have to repeat something 00:45:25.780 --> 00:45:28.659 because it's going back to the past. So I'm just 00:45:28.659 --> 00:45:30.300 going to take the one that makes me look normal 00:45:30.300 --> 00:45:33.960 and pray that it's the way forward. As you walk 00:45:33.960 --> 00:45:37.760 through the hovets, you notice a small table 00:45:37.760 --> 00:45:40.559 with what can only be termed as an enlightenment 00:45:40.559 --> 00:45:44.710 meatball token. You accepted reality. And for 00:45:44.710 --> 00:45:48.829 that, you are rewarded. Yay! I'm not marking 00:45:48.829 --> 00:45:51.210 it down because you're negative two on meatballs 00:45:51.210 --> 00:45:54.829 because I don't have an eraser. So now, you exit 00:45:54.829 --> 00:45:57.630 the market hall. The androids seem to have dispersed, 00:45:57.769 --> 00:46:00.590 potentially confused by the mirrors. And you 00:46:00.590 --> 00:46:04.329 come to the self -service furniture area. What 00:46:04.329 --> 00:46:07.409 does that even mean? It's a furniture area that's 00:46:07.409 --> 00:46:09.170 self -serve. Does that mean I gotta put the fucking 00:46:09.170 --> 00:46:11.309 shit together while I'm here? Well, you always 00:46:11.309 --> 00:46:14.150 put the stuff together, but this is self -serve, 00:46:14.210 --> 00:46:17.750 which means getting the furniture. My God. Well, 00:46:17.750 --> 00:46:19.230 then what do I do with the rest of the store? 00:46:19.610 --> 00:46:21.110 You don't gotta do jack shit. You don't work 00:46:21.110 --> 00:46:23.789 here. Just because you look like a dingus doesn't 00:46:23.789 --> 00:46:26.829 mean you are a dingus. I think we're both dinguses. 00:46:27.469 --> 00:46:29.829 No, only one of us is wearing dingus pants. And 00:46:29.829 --> 00:46:31.730 whoever wears the dingus pants in this household 00:46:31.730 --> 00:46:36.409 is the dingus. God damn it. Anyway. Serve oneself 00:46:36.409 --> 00:46:40.809 true. A self -service area stretches before Michael 00:46:40.809 --> 00:46:43.869 as the first sign of what could be an egress, 00:46:43.969 --> 00:46:47.090 a potential exit from this Nordic nightmare. 00:46:47.510 --> 00:46:50.710 Three carts have been placed in the throughfare, 00:46:50.889 --> 00:46:55.710 each with a symbol upon them. A single clue points 00:46:55.710 --> 00:47:01.389 to the correct cart. I am a wild harvest, a piquant 00:47:01.389 --> 00:47:05.940 counterpoint to a comforting... rounded friend. 00:47:06.760 --> 00:47:12.800 What is a piquant? I am a wild harvest, a piquant 00:47:12.800 --> 00:47:16.800 counterpoint to a comforting, rounded friend. 00:47:17.179 --> 00:47:20.519 So what do you see in front of you? A pretzel 00:47:20.519 --> 00:47:22.760 and either cherries or lingonberries, and what 00:47:22.760 --> 00:47:26.119 I can only assume would be... What did we just 00:47:26.119 --> 00:47:30.659 eat? We ate lingonberries. What else did we eat? 00:47:30.940 --> 00:47:34.510 Oh, potatoes. No. What do those look like? Oh, 00:47:34.510 --> 00:47:37.309 Swedish meatballs. Yes. You see before you the 00:47:37.309 --> 00:47:41.190 symbols for meatballs, lingonberries, and a pretzel. 00:47:41.409 --> 00:47:45.550 I am a wild harvest, a piquant counterpoint to 00:47:45.550 --> 00:47:48.090 a comforting, rounded friend. Lingonberries. 00:47:48.829 --> 00:47:53.070 Final answer? Yes, because you can't grow pretzels 00:47:53.070 --> 00:47:56.050 in the wild. Piquant, I believe, was another 00:47:56.050 --> 00:47:59.969 term for tart. Oh, okay. Cool. Yes. So you choose 00:47:59.969 --> 00:48:02.619 the correct cart. the Lindonberry cart, and earns 00:48:02.619 --> 00:48:04.920 you another token. Note, I'm not writing it down, 00:48:05.039 --> 00:48:06.780 because that's your second one that you're earning 00:48:06.780 --> 00:48:12.500 back. Anyway, you make it to the end. Oh. Freedom? 00:48:13.000 --> 00:48:18.599 Oh no. You now find yourself at the end of the... 00:48:18.599 --> 00:48:22.860 Wildmarkswagen. Wildmarkswagen. Wildmarkswagen. 00:48:23.539 --> 00:48:25.679 Wildmarkswagen. Yeah, there's no W over there. 00:48:26.500 --> 00:48:29.280 Wildmarkswagen. So yeah, it's basically the end 00:48:29.280 --> 00:48:32.710 of the road. Michael can see them. The doors 00:48:32.710 --> 00:48:36.429 to the outside painted over with blue and yellow 00:48:36.429 --> 00:48:40.590 to block view and show national pride. The friendly 00:48:40.590 --> 00:48:45.849 cashier bot hands him his $50 from your sleep 00:48:45.849 --> 00:48:54.730 study and guides you to the food market and bistro 00:48:54.730 --> 00:48:58.210 where your balls will be accounted for once. 00:48:59.099 --> 00:49:03.719 And for all time. All right, Michael. Okay. You 00:49:03.719 --> 00:49:13.059 have 25. 25 rolls of a D20 to attempt to escape 00:49:13.059 --> 00:49:16.019 this Ikea. And I have to roll a nat 20. And you 00:49:16.019 --> 00:49:19.659 have to roll a 20 to escape. My D and D luck 00:49:19.659 --> 00:49:25.019 transfer over. 17. Nope. Nope. Nine or, no, six. 00:49:25.400 --> 00:49:38.360 Six. 15. Oh, my God. Michael only needed five 00:49:38.360 --> 00:49:41.460 meatball tokens. Does that mean I get to eat 00:49:41.460 --> 00:49:45.139 the rest? To survive the Ikea. And yes, as the 00:49:45.139 --> 00:49:48.420 doors open, all of your meatball tokens. Turn 00:49:48.420 --> 00:49:50.900 into actual meatballs? They get taken from you, 00:49:50.960 --> 00:49:54.480 and then they hand you a bowl. A Swedish bowl, 00:49:54.579 --> 00:49:57.719 whatever it's. Of 21 meatballs? Of 20 Swedish 00:49:57.719 --> 00:50:01.980 meatballs. Woo! covered in delicious sauce. Woo! 00:50:02.440 --> 00:50:04.820 You can keep the lingonberry spread. They try 00:50:04.820 --> 00:50:07.179 to hand you a lingonberry spread jar, and you 00:50:07.179 --> 00:50:11.960 decline it. No, thank you. On this day, Michael, 00:50:12.039 --> 00:50:17.860 for this season, has truly and fully triumphed 00:50:17.860 --> 00:50:21.760 versus the machine. Fuck yeah! No Skynet today, 00:50:21.960 --> 00:50:27.179 baby! But ChatGPT will be back, and also Gemini. 00:50:28.019 --> 00:50:32.440 Wait, who? And also probably, uh, well, Siri, 00:50:32.699 --> 00:50:35.539 potentially. No, I don't. Uh, who's that other 00:50:35.539 --> 00:50:38.099 one? Cortana. Ah, wait, wait, no, wait, Cortana 00:50:38.099 --> 00:50:40.199 turned evil. A lot of stuff lies in your future. 00:50:40.340 --> 00:50:43.099 Should I just have Vega? What is that? He doomslayers 00:50:43.099 --> 00:50:46.139 AI. Okay. Well, he doesn't oversee a mining operation. 00:50:46.300 --> 00:50:48.760 I mean, he'll be there too. But Vega's nice. 00:50:49.019 --> 00:50:51.059 They'll all be there. But Vega's nice. Waiting 00:50:51.059 --> 00:50:53.039 to torture you in the future. No, Vega's nice. 00:50:53.840 --> 00:50:57.300 So, Michael, any final thoughts on this first 00:50:57.300 --> 00:51:00.619 leg of our journey? It was fun. I like it. I 00:51:00.619 --> 00:51:05.039 like where this is going. I don't like how ChatGPT 00:51:05.039 --> 00:51:07.960 likes to put me in precarious positions. I don't 00:51:07.960 --> 00:51:09.739 like how you want me to say things that you know 00:51:09.739 --> 00:51:11.900 are going to get us fucking trouble. I mean, 00:51:11.920 --> 00:51:14.099 get you in trouble. I didn't say the things. 00:51:14.500 --> 00:51:18.820 Yeah, say black in Spanish. No! I was just editing 00:51:18.820 --> 00:51:21.449 that one. Yeah, as you're walking out of the 00:51:21.449 --> 00:51:25.190 Ikea, you do notice there is a customer service 00:51:25.190 --> 00:51:30.550 desk with chains from the walls. E of it. E of 00:51:30.550 --> 00:51:35.329 it. E of it is the word for forever that is etched 00:51:35.329 --> 00:51:38.070 into the desk. But you don't have to stare at 00:51:38.070 --> 00:51:39.670 that the rest of your life because you're free. 00:51:40.150 --> 00:51:42.730 Wait a minute, but who's trapped back there forever? 00:51:43.130 --> 00:51:45.809 No one. You didn't get trapped. There's no one 00:51:45.809 --> 00:51:48.190 there now. You are going to be the new employee. 00:51:48.840 --> 00:51:51.260 So if I lost, I was stuck at customer service 00:51:51.260 --> 00:51:54.900 for the rest of my life. Yes. Oh, God, it's Walmart 00:51:54.900 --> 00:51:58.360 again. Yeah, and actually, the podcast would 00:51:58.360 --> 00:52:01.420 have been canceled, and you would have just been 00:52:01.420 --> 00:52:03.079 stuck in there forever, and you probably would 00:52:03.079 --> 00:52:05.039 have been stuck in there in your own mind, and 00:52:05.039 --> 00:52:07.179 I would have probably had to have put you up 00:52:07.179 --> 00:52:10.119 at a hospital somewhere in a vegetative state. 00:52:10.599 --> 00:52:12.980 I would have just rather you kill me. That will 00:52:12.980 --> 00:52:15.800 come in time. Six years. That will come in time. 00:52:16.400 --> 00:52:20.030 So that's the end of the season. And I won that 00:52:20.030 --> 00:52:23.889 season. Yeah, fuckers. Well, you won this episode. 00:52:24.789 --> 00:52:27.730 Overall, you're still ahead, but... So that would 00:52:27.730 --> 00:52:29.929 mean I won the season. She's creeping up on you. 00:52:30.369 --> 00:52:32.769 You won the season. Yeah, well, yeah. We'll give 00:52:32.769 --> 00:52:35.170 you this battle. But the war is far from over. 00:52:35.170 --> 00:52:37.789 What do I win? What fucking prize do I win? You 00:52:37.789 --> 00:52:39.769 won that I made you dinner tonight, you fuckhole. 00:52:40.130 --> 00:52:42.230 But you were going to do that anyway because 00:52:42.230 --> 00:52:44.309 we were basing this in Ikea. I didn't have to. 00:52:44.809 --> 00:52:47.420 No, you didn't. Actually, maybe I just would 00:52:47.420 --> 00:52:49.019 have forced you to eat all of the Lindonberry. 00:52:49.760 --> 00:52:54.599 Oh, God. Anyway, what final word would you like 00:52:54.599 --> 00:52:57.500 to leave any potential listeners of this on for 00:52:57.500 --> 00:53:00.900 the end of this era? In the words of Arnold Schwarzenegger. 00:53:00.900 --> 00:53:06.199 I said word. Fuck. Just that? Yeah, we'll just 00:53:06.199 --> 00:53:08.760 leave it at fuck. Okay, so that's the word. Now 00:53:08.760 --> 00:53:10.480 tell me what you're going to say. In the words 00:53:10.480 --> 00:53:12.900 of the great Arnold Schwarzenegger, in the role 00:53:12.900 --> 00:53:16.400 of Conan the Barbarian, crush your enemies. Have 00:53:16.400 --> 00:53:18.860 them see them driven before you and hear the 00:53:18.860 --> 00:53:21.760 lamentations of the women. Lamentations. I like 00:53:21.760 --> 00:53:25.159 it. I'm just going to say, I hope one day I get 00:53:25.159 --> 00:53:28.519 to think for myself again. But for now, I welcome 00:53:28.519 --> 00:53:32.019 the overlord that lives in my mind. The small 00:53:32.019 --> 00:53:36.639 bit of future tech that tells me all the different 00:53:36.639 --> 00:53:39.860 wonderful ways to torture Michael. Well, I mean, 00:53:39.860 --> 00:53:41.559 it's probably a good idea he has that people 00:53:41.559 --> 00:53:43.179 because the rest of his brain is pretty smooth. 00:53:44.159 --> 00:53:49.539 What? Yeah, see. If you enjoyed the stupidity 00:53:49.539 --> 00:53:52.820 you just heard, why not subscribe? Or follow? 00:53:53.179 --> 00:53:56.739 Or just like this? Or whatever it is you do on 00:53:56.739 --> 00:54:00.960 whatever platform you're hearing this on. If 00:54:00.960 --> 00:54:03.380 you have any suggestions for episodes, ideas, 00:54:03.880 --> 00:54:06.219 thoughts, something we could possibly do here 00:54:06.219 --> 00:54:10.059 in the future, leave a comment or email us at 00:54:10.059 --> 00:54:14.519 windbreakermedia at gmail dot com. Anytime, anyplace. 00:54:15.000 --> 00:54:20.320 All one word. ChatGPT and I appreciate your support 00:54:20.320 --> 00:54:23.059 and constructive criticism. Wait, why am I not 00:54:23.059 --> 00:54:28.000 included in this? See you all next time! The 00:54:28.000 --> 00:54:29.619 three of us appreciate you all.